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Relational Intelligence - Love is All You Need, Part 2

Living on the Edge / Chip Ingram
The Truth Network Radio
September 16, 2020 6:00 am

Relational Intelligence - Love is All You Need, Part 2

Living on the Edge / Chip Ingram

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September 16, 2020 6:00 am

What would have to happen in your most important and intimate relationships to make them a ten? Not an eight, not a nine - a ten? Second, what would you have to do in order for that to become a reality? Ryan Ingram digs into scripture to help us with the answer.

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What would have to happen in your most intimate relationships to make them attend a meeting at 10 to 8 to 9 second, what would you have to do to make one find out.

Stay with thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge drift. Children Living on the Edge features the Bible teaching of Trivandrum on this international discipleship program and were in a series called Relational Intelligence. Something chips as often as you can give away what you don't possess what what you're about to hear is going to bring them home in a way that may actually make the best of your life's invited his son Ryan Ingram this message with us right after Ryan's teaching trip will be here in studio with some special follow-up. You don't want to mess let's get going and join Ryan Ingram for part two of his message. Love is all you need.

My wife and I go to counseling once a month is just this time for us to really grow and develop as a couple and there's times when were hanging out on the drive. It's about a 30 minute drive to where we go and were talking about. Hey, what are we going to talk about and my wife will kinda jokingly say well you probably have a list, and I do because I write in the journal and I'm like, always writing stuff down like I don't know how to deal with that. Let me write this down or Jenny did not cut it annoyed me and I want to see what Sue has to say about the hat is no record of wrongs. There's no like to know I can pay you do this and you did that on hold this over you and will get you to keep a record and bring it back to keep reminding you of how you felt to keep reminding you of how you screwed up and I keep reminding you of how huge is our syllabus is now love does not love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, means it's safe. Always trust always hopes this is what you are invited to embrace the foundation of your love. First, that love is not a noun. Love is a verb is an action is not a force. Love is a choice. This is how love behaves is not dependent upon your feelings. He says this is what love does. If you want to know I love it. This is just how it looks to be loving this is how love behaves. In fact, when I counsel newly engaged couples and talk to them about their their wedding. I take him to this passage I say I want you to write this out for the other person and personalize it because when you say I love you when I thought about love the feeling when I talk about store gator for Leo or Eros.

When you are committing a love your committing agape, you're saying I can't thank you and here's what that looks like I will be patient with you even when you leave all your crap all around the house and it's driving me a lot like I can got a good personal.

What does it look like it's a verb it's a choice no notice. This love is not a doormat in love is not a dictator. See love is not to be walked walked all over to accept abuse not love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth as I stand on the side of what's right and true stand for that because that's what is best for you and for me and I'm not going to allow you to bring abuse or heartache or pain in here and it is not a dictator.

Love does not demand its rights and most often the way this happens whether some friendships dating even at work in marriages as we tend to manipulate others. We try to manipulate them. We call it love but is really not a love marked by giving it's a love marked by getting and we do it in our relationships all the time. I will do this in order to get this agape love is a love marked by giving not getting to the modern love promises when I fall in love everything will fall in the place Relational Intelligence says less about falling in love and is far more about growing is less about falling in love and there's a moment to fall in love moments and I'll hear me Ingram. He hates romance all that's wonderful and good. It's just not foundational for any great relationship and is far more about growing in love.

So how do you grow in love. How do you build a foundation on agape love.

I'm so glad you asked, turn your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5 verse want to talk about increasing your love quotient. How do you grow in love. In fact in this text are going to see three different forms of the verb agape in this tax that's going to help us unpack.

How do we actually do this because if you're like me and you read that love thing and I don't like medicine overwhelming. That ain't me.

I want that to be true. I want that to be true. The people in my life and the coworkers I want to be that, but I don't know how knows what the apostle Paul says, he says, be imitators of God circle that would be as a command.

This is where to imitate him. Therefore, as dearly loved children underline dearly loved as dearly loved children live a life of Love Cir., Lord live want to get to that in the second. Be imitators of God. Therefore, as dearly loved children live a life of love. How just as Christ loved you. Underline loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Okay, how do we increase our love quotient. How do we grow in love.

The first is we need to embrace that we are dearly loved your dearly loved the Greek word here is to pick this is the object of one's affection. Having a very special relationship building.

This is embracing your identity and your position in Christ. You're not working for love. You are locked, you are profoundly and perfectly loved by your heavenly father right now in this moment.

Nothing you can do will ever change that. Whether you have a good day or a bad day. His love does not vary at all, he loves you. Gnosis, there is something in you that God loves and if God loves you, then you must be worthy of love is popular in our day to talk about self-love. I wanted to diminish this but the way the conversations going. This goes something like this. I gotta love myself first in order to be able to love it.

Love you. I just gotta love me and check in my research. I remember seeing this I love you but I love me more is like the modern love phrase like interesting though that we had lived with this like I submit on know it's all I gotta love me. I got have me and what that is, which is unpack this if you're starting with the love deficit and you're trying to love yourself more. You have nothing to give yourself it is starting with God, seek to live a life of love, we first have to understand were love you love yourself more able get to that, but that you are profoundly love that God just loves you.

You can give to others what you have yet received and he says I love you your my beloved. Your adopted child of the King most high your love and everything you do goes from its your identity position. Embrace embrace that your dearly loved see one of the most destructive things in our culture today with relationships is looking for the other person to complete or fulfill us they can have complete or fulfill you, but when your eye and he is secure you're no longer having a love that is need-based, I need you I need I need that I am fully love completes and so I can give. How do we groan the first embrace that you are dearly love. Second, as you see it commit to living a life of love as dearly loved children live a life of love and that word, I have you circle begets command be imitators the picture of a little kid imitating their mom or their dad mimicking what they do their hand gestures and all the different idiosyncrasies that they have been saying in the same way that you have been so well loved by your heavenly father mimicked him, mimicking him begin to put it into practice is that live a life love. That's a command commit to its seeing wave girl like you know what we want to go on this, but I'm waiting until I feel like it you know when I feel like it. And eventually when I feel like it then I'll start to do it agape.

Let me give you just a little further definition of this, the self giving sacrificial love that give the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least.

See first to start with, I'm dearly loved I have all that I need for my heavenly father. Now I'm going to commit I'm going to make a choice to love the wedding picture when a couple was standing up and proclaiming their valves.

A lot of times when we think about it is we think about it as professing love and it certainly is there professing their love for one another, but something that's happening, that's even more profound and dismissed a lot of times they're not just professing love their promising future. Love their making a commitment of future love, in sickness and in health, in Quincy and and once in good times and bad times. I am making a commitment to you that my love this agape love is. That is what I'm choosing to respond to, and when I don't all opponents, but I'm promising that circumstances will not change it, making this commitment will you like. What about my feelings and we been coming down on front seat. Love is not devoid of feelings. It's just not defined by its and we tend to define our lives by how we feel, says first you should feel awesome.

Your love, your beloved, and if that just sunk in like a little bit your whole world would change like going mantises crazy, the God of the universe, the one who spoke all things into existence by alike that God he says I got object of his affection like Zephaniah would say that he's like rejoicing over you with singing. Like if you just got out for a little bit you just be walking around like I'm so confident not talking confident writer.

I love some committing to give to you the type of love I received from my heavenly father. By the way, that's Exactly Way, Jesus has love you. First Corinthians 13 is an expression of how God's love to you and for us is not just committing to a life of love, we have to rely on Christ love to empower you. He says, just as Christ loved us. The Greek word Apollo. I love how Efraim Smith defines this.

He says it's the unconditional love of Jesus in us that is flowing through us to be a force of transformation around us.

The unconditional love of Jesus in us that is flowing through us to be a force of transformation around us as we sit back and we will get that no man that agape love.

I can't that agape love with my coworkers man. She is just really on my case.

He is just really tough like every meeting is a struggle. I can't.

I can agape them says you can't but he can through you, which you rely on Christ empowering love working you you know it with my roommate with my spouse owes us like this. Hello, it's been a rough season all man. They are in a mood like I can't see right you can't but he can through you see the gospel is this the gospel is that God loves you that he meets you right where you are that when you cry out for your need for him.

He meets you and he says he will deposit the spirit of God inside you, you are now at adopted into the family of God.

Your marked among the beloved that is your identity and then you have the spirit of God, the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwelling inside you to empower you to live out a radically new life in far too many of us are walking around weak and feeble going like I can't. I can't just own it. Course you can't, but he can through you look something like this shirt if you'd like no month ago or something like that is, you know that love is patient, I got droned out to but the kind part is not being kind to strangers on pretty good at that as being kind to the people closest to me. My kids see love is really challenged in the unguarded moments were good at loving people when were cut on his those unguarded moments that are generally the people closest to us, whether it's a friend or family or spouse and Nicole got. I want you to develop any gentleness or kindness. It's actually a fruit of the spirit, so I know that when I rely on the spirit you're going to actually produce that in my life I have this little 3 x 5 card and each morning I review it I reviewed it this morning and at the top it says this husband's love your wives, and I write in her name, Ryan love Jenny how just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Like your role is to sacrifice your life for your wife not to dominate but to lay down your life okay what is it look like a kid. God help like I know myself I can't do that, and underneath that I have the first Corinthians 13 passage.

Love is a going and it's a prayer in the morning each and every morning of like I want to rearrange my mind around what's true and invite you to have your way in me, Holy Spirit would you empower me to be that kind of man you take the next just take the next psych I don't know how to love this person.

I don't know how to love that coworker. I don't know how to love my roommate. I don't know how to love their enemies go but I'm going to rely on you and someone to take the steps. I know that loves calling. I know that love asked me to do, but I trust that you're going to empower me as I take a step.

See, we don't take the step we were gone I got would you empower me, would you empower me, would you empower me just take the next God. I know what love calls me to. I'm asking, would you empower me and I'm going to take that step is with poets. In Galatians, walking and step with the spirit so I may leave you with this. This is just simply what love asked would you begin to ask this to help you know what are the steps you need to take, whether it's with your friends with your coworkers with your acts. What is the highest and best for the other person is just a question, love asked what is the highest and best for your friend for your boyfriend for your girlfriend for your spouse for the acts for your coworkers, your kids, what is the highest and best for them and then you go okay I'm going to remind myself I am fully love.

This is my identity so I don't need love from them. I'm going to choose to do what is the highest and best and I'm going to invite the spirit of gotten our mom went, my mind trying to talk about this supernatural agape love is you can't give away what you don't have. I do understand pastored for over 30 years. There's hurts there's wounds during family. Certain marriages there toward fathers toward sons, daughters, in-laws, coworkers, people at church.

There's all kind of hurts and pain and this message to love unconditionally is actually impossible apart from having that love dwelling inside of you and what we note Living on the Edges that a significant number of people who listen to our broadcast listen to a podcast go online are not necessarily followers of Christ, but people that are interested in crowing who want to be better people who are listening and in seeking and I want to tell you today is that the best principles in the world will not heal your relationships into your own heart is healed and that God would say to you, I want to forgive you. I want to give you a new heart. I want to put my love in you so that you can love in ways that I talked about. And so if you've never received Jesus as your Savior. Can I encourage you right now, this minute, regardless of what you're doing or where you are to stop and just say to him, Lord, I can't love like this got. I desperately need you, will you forgive me of all my sins right now I want a personal relationship with you. I'm asking you come into my life. Forgive me and make me your son make me your daughter. I want to turn away from my way and I want to follow your way. The rest of my life and as you do that God loves you.

He wants to fill you with his love by his spirit. And if that's the intent of your heart. Can I encourage you call or text the greatest Christian you know the person who lives a doubt the most.

Clearly, this we can find a church that teaches the Bible and go there and go online or give us a call and let us give you some resources to help you right now to take your first steps to let the love of Christ fill your heart and your life and change it forever if you prayed with trip. I hope you'll take a minute and call us at 1-888-333-6003.

We love to hear your story and get a free resource in your hands that will help you understand the significance of your decision and then give you a couple of next steps on your journey that same resources available if you tap special offers on the app or go to the new believers tab on our website LivingontheEdge.org. We just want to help you get started and say welcome to the family will chip the title of this message is love is all you need, you know, we hear that all over the place and in one sense it's true, but in another sense, it's really not. Now, how would you clarify the two days love is all that we need. We first must receive it from God before we can give it to others. I think that's the major point. We look for love in fame and money and sex and what other people think in career and accomplishment and all of those things end up wanting the fact of the matter is until we renew our mind and not just intellectually believe that God loves us, but believe deep in our heart and our belief system that we are valued wanted chosen, secure, beautiful and called with the purpose by the God of the universe. It's only when that gets from her head to her heart then were able to give love without expecting and return we can give love unconditionally, because we've received it and that only happens when we get into God's word and renew our mind, where he teaches us specifically.

This is how I see you because of the work of Christ and what I would invite all of our listeners to do right now is to join me for daily discipleship with chip. I will meet with you personally going through Ephesians 1, two and three where you can discover your true self. You can discover how much God loves you so you can have relationships that really work because you're not trying to get something because you don't need their approval.

You don't need their affirmation for your life to work if you'd like to join the short daily video sessions with chip sign up today. Each video session will only be about 10 minutes and as the course progresses triple walk you through how to read Scripture and how to hear God speak directly to you through the first three chapters of the book of Ephesians the sign up for daily discipleship with chip. Visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org for more information just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 all that wraps up this program till next time. Is Dave really saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge


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