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August 12, 2022 6:00 am
Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast our desire is for the word of God spread throughout all me know join is now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville North Carolina first Peter chapter 3. Once you look at verse five. If you will. First Peter chapter 3 verse five for after this manner. In the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ER as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement.
Likewise you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge. Obviously, we read that this morning is our theme for the day, giving honor unto the wife is under the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered.
Look at verse eight. Finally, be all of one mind, Wayman. Now he just said that because you have to learn you have to gain knowledge to figure out how to get along with your wife because the two of you are different then he says be all of one mind, having compassion, one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing, but contrariwise blessing. Another words you to give a blessing for railing you want to give a blessing when somebody gives evil to you oil good and if if a husband and wife can learn that if if AVP of the husband or the wife was angry and just started getting mad at their mate. What if the other mate responded with blessing you imagine how many arguments we wouldn't have imagine how it would squelch division in a marriage so that's easier said than done. Preacher, you're absolutely right.
Verse 10 for he that will love life and seeing good dates. Notice that good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil is a nice way of saying you better keep your mouth shut your wife if you want to see good days, and his lips that they speak no guile. Obviously I'm picking father Brady and blessed Lord as we look again. Once again this evening at the differences that you've designed between men and women. Lord I pray that you help this to help us as your word always does in your name we pray. Amen. I think we got approved or point this morning about the fact that men and women are different, but you know really one of the greatest myths that there is is that I've heard people say there's really no essential difference between men and women beyond. Obviously, physically, and I'm here to tell you that just absolutely un-biblical. It's unreasonable and it's dangerous to your marriage for you to think that, let me say this, God made women and men different both physically and emotionally and then in first Peter chapter 3, we find that he commands husbands to take note of this. He says you better dwell with them according to knowledge. We talk about that this morning and which brings me to this, you and I might not understand why our spouses think and feel the way they do. But we have to understand and accept that they do think and feel certain ways is a lot of it so I don't know why my wife thinks this racks this way and also want to know why my listen, you don't mess really have to know why you just need to know that they do and except that I love them for that because are going to be differences and if you think about it. Husbands and wives the way we are different. We talked about that this morning how men use obvious to the left hemisphere of the brain. Women use both and and and and we talk about how we been created genetically different things and and if you look at the way men are made in the way women are made is an absolute train white rack member troubled trains and I do notice that is an absolute train wreck waiting to happen in marriage and is going to happen without the help and grace of God in marriage. Number one tonight I'll I want you to realize working to dig into a little bit of Jeanette exhibit number one. You have to understand that men and women think different, they think different from the early stages of development in the brains of men and women develop differently now told you that men use the left side hemisphere of the brain and in opposite women use both. Let me tell you why when when you when we you and I are born. It starts out different and I'll tell you why women may get a heavy dose of estrogen and that helps women to economy spurs them to nurturing and caring gives him that nurturing and caring nature. Like I said there's always exceptions, but on a whole, women are gifted with that and and and and that's one of the things that causes that weeks after conception men receive a huge dose of testosterone and later as a fetus in the womb. They get a biochemical bath and what that does is it severs the connection between the left and right brain. That's why men only use that one side and women that for some reason it doesn't happen that way and they use both. That's why women you know they have logic, but also they have intuition and and here they have like I said this morning they have calculation, but they also have feeling and and and they're using all that it wanted us men. We have the one side of the brain, and that's why because when we are born that biochemical bath separates that nerve and we just use that one half of our brain so we automatically from the start. Think different at different all these different things. When this happens in men when that biochemical bath separates that left or right side of the brain. Here's what happens that promotes competitive competitiveness and focus in men. But when that happens it hurts their ability to multitask and this happens before we even are born. That means that all ready for me and the ability to multitask and do all kinds of things at once is difficult for us were women. I did just comes little bit more natural to be able to do that because are operating with their entire brain press guys were working on have to bring such a good excuse. Your life is matter. You tell her I I only have use of half my brain women of your other of your husband tells you you're getting a big head tell him why I got use at all.
The result is a very different way of thinking for men and women. Men are analytical. They have laserlike focus oftentimes not when they're sitting on a recliner watching the game when it comes to tasking. They have focus and and other very analytical. They think through things and they got have reasons for a lot of things. Women are much more intuitive than they're able to juggle many tasks at the same time not obviously there is advantages and disadvantages of both, but we'll talk about the differences here. A man can usually tell you exactly why he believes something.
Another words, if a man doesn't trust someone and you say, why don't you trust him.
That man will have a good reason you either say well I saw the way he acted in a particular situation or idea that a decision this gentleman made and I took note of that and I just don't trust it will there's a reason for that. Now if a woman says why don't trust him. You'll say why she might not have a good answer that she might not have a list of reasons why she doesn't trust a person.
She just intuitively doesn't trust MRI don't want to talk about all God's children said a man BCS man will look at our life, and shall say I like that person there.
I don't trust them. You'll say why you need you minimum have this conversation where they ever done. I don't know I just don't have a good feeling around the floor… Basil your feelings. We are Wedo, oftentimes with women they might not have good reasons to feel the way they feel, but oftentimes they end up at the right conclusion because they have spiderwebs they don't always end up with the right conclusion, but a lot of times it is us men will often end up at the right conclusion because we wouldn't get to that conclusion.
If we didn't feel we had faith. If you ask a man why he feels a certain way, look at me. He's going to give you good reasons why he feels that way now.
Even if he's wrong he's got good reasons for being all because men are thinking, logic and mineral dispersing Faxon and they think that way and their analytical and their focused on that it if I'm going to feel certainly know my wife and I do it, and shall bear witness to that.
And honestly, we joke a lot this morning and my wife wasn't here so she's here tonight.
I'm being very serious and I'm just big was it when we quit week we we think totally different. I mean, my wife and I will begin.
Talk about subject sometimes in my life just about just won't get into it with me and here's why. If I don't, as a man if I don't know what I'm talking about. I won't have an argument with you over meshes me as a man.
In other words, if you bring up the subject and I know about it all argue with you on because I think I'm convinced that I know what I'm talking about. But if you bring up a subject I don't know nothing about. I'm not can argue just argue because I don't have a good reason to think those things, but if I'm convinced that I'm right.
Why why we men do that because we've gone through the logic and we feel we've got good reason to feel the way we do. And here's where we here's where it starts. Get into trouble because women oftentimes have a feeling in intuition. Whatever the case might be, and they don't have a good reason to feel that way and we as men feel differently, but we've got all the logic we got all the facts that oftentimes women and men argue differently in a man will have a better argument because he's got all these facts, but a woman might not have a good list of facts to argue with but she's convinced she's right because I might not know why but I just know in us men are like, you can't. You can't explain why. That's when you begin to get into trouble. Let me get onto some more terms if I can in math terms, a man can show you his work.
He's got a good reason. He can almost list it.
Women don't show their work, but often they get to the right conclusion their brain listen to me. Oftentimes women's their brain works faster than they can explain again. They got intuition they got calculation. I got the feeling they got this, they got everything going on and a lot of times it takes a little bit longer to process.
That is a we as men were little bit quicker. We got the reasons we got the facts and and when you begin to get into a disagreement oftentimes is not to the woman's wrong is just that she can explain her feelings as well.
As a man can because he's gotten to those feelings. Biological steps memo for long. What is why feel why feels the only listen to me. A lie feels you don't trust me you don't listen to what I have to say men can I give you some advice if your wife has a bad feeling about another woman stay away from her. If she has a value. So I will see the reason I have a bad feeling she'd never done anything inappropriate. When it was your wife has a bad feeling stay away good intuition is a water she's wrong what is you wrong when you've done right because you respected her opinion or this morning you have funds on who will loan will let me put it this way to see the difference in focus. Watch one spouse talk on the phone while the others listening.
Let me illustrate.
Usually a man if he's on the phone and he's talking with somebody in the phone and let's say his wife is sitting over here and she tries to tell him to tell the person on the phone such and such and he's on the phone and she's I will tell masking is asking that another man will have to would you hold on for a second, but I'll say what did you want me to ask, but out of the woman's on the phone. She could be talking to the lady at Macy's or whatever the case might be in the husband's talking.
If you talk to the lady in the huddle site ask her out in humility and mamas want to know what Donna what was she just knew she does multitask. She was able to hear this and this and she was able process is more and us men because were so focused on one thing. It's harder for us to multitask. So oftentimes you know is like I cannot tell you what my my pet peeve is ordering at a drive-through do I have any other men that hate the order at a drive-through online ordering for me as I make it very simple, but when you got three kids and a wife and every order has to be different and you know I'm like, give me a number whatever or gimme some such.
That's fine. What about Kennesaw, whatever you want to give me what whatever country you want. Whatever one is there gimme a number for now hold the pickles. I don't want any onions and I don't want too much much to put this on the side and kind of thing you know, when you're the man you're driving.
You have to be the one the speaker and then you're trying to order out in a number and she said no, make that and I you know I mean if they would invent drive-through's where there was speaker on both sides so that when you come to your by yourself.
Order available if you come through your wife on that such a good order and that speaker and you can just sit there when that be wonderful. I think that's a great invention why we hate Laura drive-through's ladies because you're asking us to multitask and it's absolutely driving us crazy. Number two. Better get off quick. We feel different. We don't just think different. We feel different because of the way God made us men many times base their significance upon their achievements.
A man in his 40s will start to look back and you will begin to kinda thing down on himself.
You know what I don't have got a house I think I hoped I was going after my wife or my family know when your early 20s, or just start off thing, man. You know on that amount of Glenwood do some McDonough have all this and then you know me alive happens before law also now men here, you got a wife and kids and you been very blessed, or whatever the case might be, but oftentimes that's not really what what flips our switch is the fact that I don't think that I've provided and I haven't achieved a lot. I feel like with my job. Whatever the case might be why does that in a wife hears, and she just thinks what in the world you get over it, but they don't understand, because men often times we feel different, and many the things in our life is based on our achievement, but women there more centered on relationships, not just the way we been made me oftentimes a man will be discouraged and things because he thinks he hasn't gotten for his wife what he wanted to get her in many times, and there are exceptions many times it's really not even that important to her and by the way lives, we can't house you live in the kind of car you drive, the county close you have in all the stuff that shouldn't matter to you. That shouldn't be the most important thing in your life and God forbid you ever belittle your husband because you say will so-and-so got sunsets can't house how come you couldn't do that. How come you couldn't do that will take some social probably has a nice supportive wife.
How come you couldn't do that but us men can't say that were just joking. Ask a couple about a road trip. There's a husband-wife. They go to Florida and back – the wife how is the trip I shall say some like all it was great. We found this little spot down and like in the Florida Keys and it was this neat little restaurant and the breeze is blowing the Aziz palm trees and as you go through these little details and in the manual say how was your trip to Florida will say great I say 30 miles drive in the one way as I did come in back in my car averaged 2 miles more per gallon coming back then it did going down because I kept it at a certain speed while they they sold two totally different things. You know why man was achievement. I say some gas. I want a different route.
It's a big thing when you map out a trip with us men was gobbled it up to save the time avoid the traffic is like a project to us.
You know why that's what were based on based on achievement and here's what happened to go on a trip in a wife sit here look at this like in that beautiful SS Apogee looking over and he's like, well, no Malagasy, no kind of the thing. He's totally focused on some different then the wife looks and says you know what that's all you care about. You don't care about me. We were supposed to have a nice time together. Know your got your dumb gas mileage and thus for Citrix. It's here and he thanked me and I spent all this money and plan is to go on this trip and you're making a big deal about get it for long.
Now you've got a nice wonderful trip. It's absolutely turn nasty you know why because you feel differently.
That's the way things go.
Men like to solve problems alone.
You know that women we like to solve problems alone. That's why we don't ask for directions. Why you say why we are based on achievement. We will find it. We don't want to feel like we couldn't achieve it without somebody else's help. So men like to be able to do it on our own now woman it's different with her man. Like to solve problems alone.
Women like to help others solve their problem. They love it and here's what happens autos women's lunch will will let me help you to pull over there what we can Asterix me as I know I got it. I'm fine. I know you're not fine and they drive around for an hour and she's getting madder and he's getting matter because she's getting matter. You know what she wants to help him solve his problem.
He doesn't want any help solving the problem. You see, oftentimes, and listen to me when you get this man just need encouragement to stick with it is called a hard time trying to some is not going well. What really will all he wants.
He doesn't need you to come in and show him how to do it do it for a man doesn't like that. He wants to achieve that all man wants to do is to encourage money you can do it. You stick with it. Honey we been driving for eight hours in circles, but you can find it honey deal with women. It is supportive and encouraging uplifting and helpful for one woman to give another woman advice. Oftentimes somebody will go through something.
Maybe a lady will go through something and I don't want to bother anybody with it and a woman at church will find out she's going through something that will not go talk to her to say why did you come to because one want to bother nothing and why didn't you come to me. You know why a woman is so anxious because really she loves to be able to help someone with their problem. It almost means more to her than the person has a problem because women absolutely love it. Just in their nurturing nature of absolutely love to help somebody fix a problem.
They love to do that.
I love to help with that. Men, we don't want anybody to help us fix that problem.
We want to be able to fix it ourselves. We just want you to admire and trust us that we can you say was kinda simplistic, only take some there's been divorces based on this, I'm telling you folks, men tend to only ask advice under two circumstances number one if he's looking for a solution number two if you want somebody to blame us. The only time that he will go to someone else and ask advice. We are just different. Let me get a little bit more specific. Number three we communicate different know we talked about communication about the need to do that. Let me let me gunning get right now where the rubber meets the road.
The different thinking patterns and behaviors of men and women are right for misunderstandings and unmet expectations. A young lady will get married, and shall have in her mind what marriage is a young man will get married in a lab in his mind what marriage is in both of them feel the way they feel about marriage. Both of them have the expectations they have, because that's just what the ones they have.
That's that's who they are and oftentimes his expectations and her expectations are not realistic at all and so immediately in that first, you are hereby so have so much a hard time in the first year marriage because first year marriage hears him feeling and thinking differently. Here's her feeling and thinking differently. Both of them think that they know what the other person was supposed to do and act towards him. How this was to be with them and I find out. Life is a like that and they have a big problem and and one of two things happens. Either that divide starts there, and it continues to either one day the divorce or one day they just haven't they just don't speak they just exist or we deal with it get to the bottom of it to both of us change and adapt love of God's grace and we make a marriage out of this thing and that's what often happens. Let me if I can show you how we communicate differently. I think this is good primarily men want to fix problems women want to affirm people when the wife shares a problem. Let's say he was a wide go to your husband and you you got a problem. Some is going on in your life and you go to your husband and talk to about an amen.
Listen to this. Men listen to this.
When the wife shares a problem. The husband assumes she is telling him because she wants him to fix the problem in middle of the fix problems I love problem solving me purse I just love it is is a challenge to me. I love that. But listen to me as a man. He's thinking she's come to me with this problem.
The reason she's come to me with this problem because she wants me to help her fix. You know why a man thinks that because that's why he would come to somebody with problem. How man wouldn't come to a person with a problem unless I'm coming you with the problem. I want the bottom line of how to fix it. I listen if I'm working on my car there so my car I can't fix. I want to go to a guy that knows how to pick on cars and on to say this is what the problem is king. How does this get fixed.
I don't want to sit and talk with him three hours and had tea and cookies and experience the whole evening talking about that problem. The car I want the bottom line. How do I fix this. Okay so the man's thinking at the wife came to me and she's honestly, she's got these problems and she, this is opposite bothering her the reason she is come to me is because she wants me to fix the problem and the reason a man thinks that is because that's why he would come to somebody. Men listen to this. Really she does not want you to fix that problem. She just wants sympathy and encouragement you listen to men, saying in Daniel Huntress amen amen. Look at me. She wanted encouragement. She wanted love she wanted sympathy. Look at me, and if she tells you your per problems. Men and you don't give her that sympathy and that encouragement, but instead you give her the solution to her problem, look at me. She will prolong that conversation until she gets the sympathy and acceptance and love and encouragement you say what you mean, look at it. She didn't want to solution her problem. She wanted you as a husband to care enough to listen and encourage and be sympathetic. Put your arm around her lover, sweetheart.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but if anybody can handle it you can.
I love you and are proud of you. And if she doesn't get look at me. How many times is a man your wife came you with the problem you gave her the solution to that problem is if she didn't hear she just keeps talking about the same thing. I like what you asked me and I gave you solution your problem. You know why she's continuing to talk about it many times is like you say they don't listen, they go right onto something else. You just gave them the solution is as if they don't even react to it. They go right to another side of the problem. I going to some else. Why are they doing that because I didn't want your solution they wanted your sympathy. They wanted your love.
They wanted your encouragement.
So what is a man do will a man thinks she asked me. I told her she doesn't respect me shooting. Listen to.
She comes to me I give her so just you want even though I can't tell you how many times in our marriage.
Over the years my wife what was said something about a possible swear which ought to do is this. She won't do it, then two weeks later shook him with the same problem. This is going on up ago I told you two weeks ago. She never wanted my solution. She wanted my sympathy to look at me as a man.
Here's what starts to bother us. We start to think were not respected, then listen to me. By the way, wise is what happens husband and wife sit home. She goes through all her problems all are things in the house will talk to her gives her solution is that she does enable us to come if you just keep talking and in those circles.
And because he's a spiderweb thinker and a husband. And then here's what happens. You'll tell her because you lover, but it's as if when you tell her she doesn't listen and you'll go to church or you go out. He was somebody and some other woman's husband or some man from somewhere though. Sit at a table and end shall somehow bring up the probability of one suggestion and just like all. I haven't thought about that. That's a great idea, and as a husband, you're like are you kidding me talking about this. Finally, but for some reason it has more validity when it come from somebody else that drives men crazy. You know why because we want you to respect us. We want you to admire us.
We want you to value our opinion by the way, wives.
When you talk to your husband about a problem and he starts giving you the solution in your thinking what that I wanted encouragement.
Look at me and that husband's mind. He was helping and that husband's mind. He's thinking I really want to fix this for my wife is a lover and a husband. Although he might not be able to figure out that you know what what you want. It was sympathy and encouragement you don't want to be told how to fix it but to a husband.
He thought he was helping in the life doesn't get what she wants.
Even though she got the solution but she didn't get the emotional needs met. Now she's upset and then she doesn't take the house was advised and now she doesn't come to him next time.
And now the husband's heart because she seems go to everybody else and called her mother and called her sister because everybody else, but she doesn't want my opinion about anything because really the whole time out of love. He just wanted to help her fix the problem and the whole time she really wanted to fix the problem. She just wanted him to lover both some tell you I am right about this, as were problems, thank you for listening to you received a blessing from our broadcast.
The current Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Rd. in Kernersville, NC. You may also contact us by phone at 336-993-5119 or Erwin Baptist Church.com enjoy our services live molar medium on her website and church. Thank you for listening to Karen broadcast God bless you