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August 8, 2022 6:00 am
Welcome to the car would broadcast our desire is for the word of God spread throughout all me know join is now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville, North Carolina. First Peter chapter 3, beginning a new series this morning on the family entitled the way God designed it when read this to you that a man had been under a curse for 30 years and he walked for miles over rugged terrain and climbed a mountain to finding Guru type witch doctor who could free him from this curse. When he got to the top of the mountain. The guru asked him why have you come here. He said I need for you to remove a curse that was placed on me. The guru said I can remove the curse but I must know the exact words that were used, to put the curse on you, what were they the man answered the words were I now pronounce you husband and wife Barna research company. I was looking up some statistics for this series and it says that divorce in the church is just as common as outside the church in the church. 33% divorce rate of marriages outside the church is a 34% divorce rate also and says that the South is second in the nation in divorce.
The South has a divorce rate of 35%, just behind the West, which has 38% divorce rate in leading the Midwest, which was 32% in the Northeast at 28%. Another striking percentage for us is Baptist is that we lead the nation's major denominations in divorce that you note the divorce rate is this.
We are at 29% is Baptist Protestant churches overall is only a 25% divorce rate the divorce rate among generations is a bit of a surprise to. Do you know that 73 years old of age and older is 18% divorce rate, and what we would call the homebuilders the 53 to 72 ranges 37% divorce rate, you realize between the ages of 53 and 72, one third of all marriages are in divorce the baby boomers which would be obviously in the mid to mid age range is 34% divorce rate, what does this say about marriages in America tells me they're in trouble and unfortunately can I say this that marriages in church are in big trouble.
Divorce is just as common in church as it is out of church.
You might say preacher I'm sitting here this morning I been divorce you tried oak in the gracious, no, listen different God can use you. God can do mighty things in your life. What I'm interested in right now is if you're married right now I want to keep that together that's God's design.
We want to deal with that this morning as we begin this series for the next few weeks, hopefully leading up to our revival. First Peter chapter 3. Look at verse one. If you will likewise you wives be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word. They also may, without the word be one by the conversation of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation, coupled with fear who's adorning.
Let it not be that outward adorning of plating the hair and of wearing of gold and of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart and that which is not corruptible. Even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price for after this manner, and the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands.
Notice he gives us an illustration or even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ER as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife. As unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered the most important thing in all seven of these verses is the last phrase in verse seven, preacher, why is it important that we gotta do things the way the Bible says to do it.
Look at the last phrase in verse seven that your prayers be not hindered father. Bless this series bless this message today Lord begin a work in some of our marriages and in our homes. Lord, as over these next weeks we deal with marriage and raising children in living as a family on the hole in our relationship with the church.
Lord I pray that you bless and that you'd work and help folks to understand that your word is not here to offend. Although it does. Your word is here to instruct so Lord help us to have open hearts and open minds in your name we pray.
I say this I don't know of any instance in my life where I've ever seen anybody that regretted doing things God's way of behavior by way of introduction, as he brought up Abraham and Sarah in these verses, I want to give you some of the marital problems that were rampant in Abraham and Sarah stay in other words, let me tell you some challenges. Many people say will back in those days with we we don't have a we have now and you know I there is a lot of things that tear on a marriage and work on a marriage a lot of things that make it difficult today. Back in Abraham and Sarah's day man. They didn't have TV.
They didn't have cars and they just stayed home and they did this and they did that in there wasn't as much connecting with people and I understand all that but there were also some challenges in their day. Number one was this, they were constantly on the move. You know that Abraham and Sarah.
They were really able to put down roots to later in their life. They were constantly on the move, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of necessity and then there was a constant struggle. Imagine is a wife of it. If you never got delayed on any roots and you never got any stability and you are constantly on the move as they were in those days, secondly I notices is that there was a lot of infidelity even in this marriage and in those days there was a lot of infidelity. There's a lot of things and just like there is today and there's there's adultery and and fornication that occurs at the head and that happens the same thing nowadays to what happened in these days.
Also third thing is a blended family. Do you know that nowadays we get married and a lot of times a husband-wife get married I moved to a different state or whatever the case might be, not me.
I love Myla so much. I moved right next door to them because I love my mother-in-law so much.
We are this close we really are as big deal back in those days when you married the wife. You literally married. The family I mean you statement right there you would join families you would join properties many times blended families were difficult. You don't think you think it was easy getting married and at many times a lot of family members would move in with them automatically would still happen sometimes. Nowadays there was frustrated dreams. There's a lot of things that they had planned and wanted but your life was dictated. You got when you got married.
I mean your life is one thing and back in those days many times that marriages were arranged in unity to have a choice in there was a lot of challenges that marriage back in Bible days would you notice the first thing that I see in this passage and there's two major things were to deal with today. Number one God's design for the wife. God's design for the wife, look at what we read in chapter 3. Look at verse one. If you will, likewise, you wives be in subjection to your own husbands, notice that word own dime.
I could get off my little tangent, but far be it that a wife should be more obedient to a boss more respectful to a boss more kind and more sweet and more serving to a boss than they are to their own husband. Bible says that wives would be in subjection to their own husbands notices that if any obey not the word.
They also may, without the word be one by the conversation of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation number one. I notice under God's design for the wife that there was to be an attitude of submission and attitude of submission verse one the wives be in subjection to your own husbands, that I did not say the act of submission.
I said the attitude of submission. Wives may I challenge you this morning that much of submission is not just the acting of it.
It's the attitude involved in it attitude is everything is in it and what God here says his design was that there would be an attitude is a how do you get that out of it what he savors to your chaste conversation that word conversation means way of life.
Your behavior and what he's saying is this my design for the wife is that she would have an attitude of submission to her husband that she would be in subjection to him and what would happen is is even if this husband was not a believer and even if he would have no respect for the word of God. Verse one says he would have respect for his wife's behavior and the Bible says that God could win that husband, not necessarily through the word, but by the behavior of the life and attitude of submission of a region of the verse I could. First Corinthians chapter 11 verse three says, but I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man in the head of Christ is God look at me, that means this God is all over the man. Man is over, the wife will get me wiser by the lens is not fair. Why do I have to submit to him. Let me tell you the way God's gonna have mercy on you. The man has to answer to God, you're in subjection to the man we say something the man has a greater responsibility. The man will answer directly to God for how he treats you.
You will answer to God for how you treat your husband and attitude of submission listen to me.
I know this is a popular nowadays. And there's always instances where there is some idiot husband skews expression treat his wife like a dog you don't always pick it always this and just being a jerk and then he looks around and expects her want to submit and by the way, usually a husband that looks at a wife and accuses her of not being submissive is that kind husband is a husband that loves his wife as Christ of the church is a going to even accuse her of that. But if you're accusing you better be careful because if you're accusing her of that euro sign that you're not being the right type a husband that's easy for her to submit to can have an amen right there ladies okay will make sure were on the same page. God's design was an attitude of submission for the wife.
Second, I see an adornment of serenity and adornment of serenity. Look at verse three. If you would, who's adorning what is that mean that means the way you put a package together. It's the way you present your self. It's the emphasis that you put on certain things who's adorning. Let it not be that outward adorning of pleading there, and of wearing of gold or of putting on of apparel not always have people say LC right there.
You're not supposed to fix her hair up.
You're not supposed to wear jewelry not supposed to wear makeup, wait a minute.
He also says over putting on of apparel so cool when it was run naked. We got more problems going malware and the rings the least of our problems is in any what God is saying here you all know this is God is saying that God's design for the woman is that the outward beauty wouldn't necessarily be her top priority. Although it should be a priority. The inward man. He says in this verse should be the top priority. Notice what he says what you look very carefully at this verse. Four but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible. Even the ornament of a what meek and quiet spirit, so I God designed for a woman is that she would have the adornment of the serenity. Amy and quiet spirit that I don't think I'm some male chauvinist appears that all will also visit did God say that are not okay God said, let's let's not argue over whether God said it, so we have to believe it.
Now is my job to just share it in teaching and what God is saying is this, that a woman should not be the one that is trying to take over the man she ought to have a meek and quiet spirit, and that ought to be her top priority over the outward appearance. While this is a popular always. It is on Wednesday nights. This is going nowhere fast you say why is that a poorly diverse for the very last phrase of verse four which is in the side of God of great price ladies look at me. God says this, let me tell you what means a lot to me is when you have a meek and quiet spirit, God says that's valuable that's valuable to you can argue all you want get mad all you want but were talking about what God designed, and what God thinks is valuable and God said, let me take something that as far as how you look and how you decorate yourself that really doesn't mean a whole lot to me.
God says what I think is valuable is when a woman has a meek and quiet spirit in a chaste conversation.
That's the way God designed let me show you what else I see here is that not only an attitude of submission not only adornment of serenity with third and affirmation of speech.
Look at verse six even as Sarah noticed this obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, what is affirmation me. It means that you build up the other person and what God said that Sarah did is that she submitted to him as Lord, but she called him Lord, she obeyed, she called him Lord and wives look at me, what God designed is for you to build up that husband because whether he wants to tell you what it meant to you or not and whether he was a wife realize or not husbands need that they need the wife to build them up.
They need the wife to affirm them to let them know to feel secure that you know I appreciate you I respect you. You been a good man a good husband.
What is why what wives often do they own and as they tear them down and they say what is not good.
You don't even do this will prove good after being down for years wise. If you want your husband to be a better man or be a better provider. Whatever the case might be, it's not going to happen by you tearing them down, telling them how much he's not a provider what's going to happen is if you start building him up and riding on him letting him know that you love him. That would make him want to do more. You don't don't listen to waste your time watching the sitcoms. We got a sarcastic wife and you know all the time and sitcoms, the man is either some pervert or some whipped puppy in the wife has a sarcastic loudmouth button-down everybody kids everybody else and everybody thinks that's so funny. Look at me. God doesn't think that's funny.
God said the wife is supposed to build her husband call him Lord for thing I see is accommodating service verse five and six it says for after this manner. In the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adore themselves being in subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters GR notice this as long as she do well so that means God's design for the wife is that she would do something. What is that accommodating service we find in a regular room to show your agendas is just a few minutes that God's design for the wife is is is to is to be a keeper at home. It doesn't mean that a wife can't work a job. I'm not saying that say that if you have to do that. I'm saying that I think that God says that the woman should be that the keeper at home.
The man is to be the provider.
God's word is made doesn't mean men that we can vacuum the floor once while wash the dishes and change some diapers. I'm young face a generation before me.we amended Harley change type this generation. You better you better if you want supper you better need to be a combination of service. Couple sat down either first meal as newlyweds. The wife said today I learned how to make meatloaf and banana pudding. That is a look at us playing and he said that's wonderful honey which one is this Dr. Howard Hendricks said that people get married with a picture in their minds of a perfect marriage.
Then after a few trials, they discover they aren't married to a perfect picture but an imperfect person when this realization occurs. Dr. Howard Hendricks says they will either tear up the mental picture that they had or they will tear up the person that means that we have this picture what we think marriage and what we think life supposed to be a what we think our lives to do and what we think our husband to do and then we get married and we find that there were all just imperfect human beings in one of two things is going to happen for you to get rid of this mental picture that we had our little dream world and we might all praise IRI Lord, thank you for what you have done and operate on it working to spend our lives trying to change that other person what we want. That's why we have one out of three marriages in churches divorcing because we've not done it the way God designed our ladies you're done is rough when it all right men I got a whole long list for you. Second in this presidency.
God's design for the husband. Look at verse seven Joyce is one verse hold on likewise you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife.
As unto the weaker vessel and is being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered. If you can hold your place there. You gotta see this through quickly will be done.
Just little bit want to look at Genesis chapter 2 got a hold your place. There I want to look at Genesis chapter 2. If you would, because you gotta see this. Genesis chapter 2 were to do with it. It will deal with these chapters later in in in the in the weeks ahead. But once you notice verse 15 of Genesis chapter 2 and the Lord God took the man and put him into what the garden of Eden to what address it and keep it. Now who did this. God did this God, the Bible says the man God put him where he designed him to be and so God basically gives us here. His design for the husband for the men number 1B is to be provider.
What did God say God put him in the garden to keep it and to dress it number one dress.
It what is that me with this were dressed in the Hebrew means to cultivate. It means that God told Adam you go out you dig the dirt you put in the seed you work hard you sweat.
You provide. You grow you get the food for your family.
The husband is to be the provider so I don't agree with Etheridge on the region of the verse. First Timothy chapter 5 verse eight says, but if any provide not for his all and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. Any questions God says if you will provide for your own family or worse than an infidel. I don't find anywhere in God's word were God gives any room for lazy men and usually the complaining men are lazy men when they're working hard, they don't have time to complain they just want that recliner or that bed and that remote amen. You he supposed to be provider that means this man. We are to provide their physical needs, their spiritual needs and their emotional knee. We are to provide PC for some reason a lot of men say will bless God five or so hours a week five put food on the table. I gave her house out of a happy you listen you provided money and you provided food. But God said were to provide more than that demands a wide provided by what we we haven't provided for her emotionally and you haven't provided for her spiritually. Your job is not done. That means member not just post about where to put food on the table and pay bills were supposed to live our lives worth must take care of the provide when they need converts were to provide comfort when they need help or to provide help when they need encouragement toward providing cars minutes when I have emotional spiritual needs. We are to provide that we are and we are to be the mind are Dr. Rager Rogers, one of his books I was reading.
One time I wrote the seven things done is out of this is very intriguing and he he he he he said there are seven emotional needs that a wife has that a husband should fill in a row. These down not knowingly know that out of her pastor. But I want to give me the seven things I thought this was really good. Number one. He said that husbands need to provide stability and direction from a spiritual leader. Husband needs to give his wife, stability and direction he needs to be the spiritual leader that means this in a world of chaos all wife should have a husband that stable in a world of things that change.
A wife should had a house should have a husband that has direction. He has stability and he is the spiritual leader of the home. Unfortunately, many times in church lowlifes.
The spiritual leader how irritating the Bible says that husbands go through the spiritually and on the prove that even more later.
Secondly he says that a wife should be provided with this the husband should make her know that she alone is meeting the needs of her husband wife needs that I wife needs to know from her husband that he is meeting his needs are being met by her and are only wife, let me say this if you really want your husband to feel that then you need to meet those needs. I wife wants to hear. Sometimes only only one meeting my husband's needs within and want to meet those needs will you need to meet those needs and husband need to make your wife know that she is meeting those needs and only our third a wife needs to know that her husband delights in her men. Does your wife know that you delight in her sleep preach what what is that mean you know what I mean is your wife know that she's your life you love being with her. Some you say will how do I make her know that without that action being the case forcefully ever get off that life needs to know that her husband enjoys setting aside quality time for her alive man does not need to think that you are reluctantly giving her some time because you know you have to. We were killing yourself and your killing her. I wife needs to know that you want to take time just for to talk to me a minute like he to talk you ever been any marriage seminars of say lessee to look at each other.
Need to stare into each other's eyes just for little bit.
Just look at each other, then you need to talk about. You don't happen that way at our house if we get the chance to even look at each other's eyes. One of us is dozing off immediately while three kids are crying. Listen, I know how life can get. But husband, your wife needs to know that you want to spend time with her and she needs to know that you plan that in that you put job in golf and hunting and fishing and other things secondary to her and all God's people said fifthly he said that the wife needs to know the goal of her husband is to protect her in all areas. Husbands, we don't get the sometimes will save you want even in danger of nothing that it wasn't that big of a deal, but she has to know from us that she's protected and that we're going to protect her and that our whole makeup is wired around the fact I'm going to protect you even from yourself.
Even from people from problems on the protection as a preacher, I can't protect her for everything. You're right, but she needs to know your given everything you can to do it.
Six thing is that her husband, she needs another husband is aware of her presence, even when he is doing other things. This is a big one for me.
My wife needs to know.
Look at me. Men, I'm going out playing golf with the guys. When I go out and play golf.
The guys my wife still needs to know that I'm thinking about her, even when I'm out playing golf. The guys that I'm not try a I've got a whole bunch of problems, but I find it just the way our marriage is we don't really get a lot of time we try, we carve it out.
Whatever with kids and baby and health problems all the stuff right now. We just can't.
But I find that even when I go play golf or even when I go do something.
I miss her and there's been a couple times I've been out playing golf or somehow text and I'll say I miss you so much. Thank you for listening to you received a blessing from our broadcast. The current Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Rd. in Kernersville, NC may also contact us by phone at 33699351924 Kerwin Baptist Church.com enjoy our services live all Armenian honor website and church. Thank you for listening. Kerwin broadcast God bless you