This is the Truth Network. This is the Truth Network. This Here's the United States champion. He became my personal saviour. Ladies and gentlemen.
Done always. contest is set for one law. Introducing first from Lithuania, he weighs 123 kilos, the Russian nightmare, Nikita Kola.
Now the devil's nightmare. Welcome back to another episode of It's Time to Man Up. Barbecue and boot camps. What does that have in common?
Well, with me today to talk about it, none other than Jamie Murphy. Jamie, welcome to the Man Up Show. Thank you. Thank you. Great to have you here.
And, you know, we're going to dive deeper into those two topics. And a third topic would be men by design. I see you got your shirt on and logo there. And of course, we have known each other. How long we know each other now, roughly, would you say?
I'm trying to figure it out. I first booked you down in North Augusta back in. 2009-ish, somewhere around there. You had hair back then. I had hair.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, that was an anomaly, I think. That didn't last long. That was when I first met you.
Okay. And then I moved to the upstate of South Carolina and Reconnected. Had your cell phone number in my phone still, and we booked you. About two years ago, and our men's ministry is exploding with growth. I'm trying to get you in all of the different.
Groups that I'm leading. I can testify to that.
So let me go back first to 2009, North Augusta, South Carolina, correct? I always get that wrong. I've had others who've either been on the show or been with me. They're like, ah, that would be South Carolina. Yeah, Georgia.
And I'm like, oh, my bad. It's amazing. The river, the Savannah River just makes, you know, people from South Carolina, they want you to know we're not from Augusta, Georgia.
Well, they were quick to let me know. They're like, we're in South Carolina. I'm like, okay, got it. You're not from the Peach State. I got it.
So, well, 2009, fast forward to, yeah, just. A couple of years ago, then, and of course, you know, what you're referring to for our listeners, when you say, you know, you booked me, Menby Design, you cater these evening dinners at different churches, different locations. Most recently, Travelers Rest South Carolina. And you do what, man, you do, I know you're saying it's exploding, but you do well on what do you attribute to turnout? Because like that one had, I don't know, 100 and something guys.
About 100. We're guessing it was, we've. Yeah. We had like 150 reservations, but we're thinking there was 170, 180 there. Wow.
But we had plenty of food, so that was the biggest. And we're going to talk about that in a minute, too. We'll get to that. But what do you attribute to Just is there have you w witnessed over the last couple of years or uh uh a greater hunger by men or or or is it the food or or combination? Or but what would you attribute the growth to?
Okay, can we back up? Yeah. And tell you why we started Men by Design, and then I can't. Men by Design. In North Augusta, I was on staff at a church in North Augusta as an associate pastor.
And my heartbeat, my passion in ministry is I teach parenting classes. And that started in 2003. And I was down I'm born and raised down in Florida. And we moved to North Augusta in 2007, and I'm on staff teaching parenting classes and Mm-hmm. Roundabout way, my mentor had a boot camp program down in Florida.
And we wanted to replicate what he was doing in Florida, in the Carolinas.
So I leave North Augusta, move to Traveler's Rest.
Okay. Finish my degree. Graduated from Anderson University in Anderson, South Carolina with a criminal justice degree, and I was a Baptist pastor getting a degree in criminal justice. And people think, What are you doing that for? I said, Because I'm going to have a Christian boot camp ministry.
And they said, Well, what's that? And even when I went through school, my teachers said, You do know that the. The research states that boot camp programs, scared straight programs, don't work. I said, that's because you're doing them wrong. And they gave me this deer in the headlights look, like, and what do you know that we don't know?
I said, you do these programs and you leave the parents on the outside watching. And I'm trying to empower the parent. I'm going to teach the parents how to do this because they're the most influential people in a child's life. Get them engaged in the process. Yes.
Yeah. So we run a program. My ministry is called the Proactive Parenting Initiative. And every month we run a boot camp program and the parents have to bring their kids to camp. You don't drop your kids off.
And so we teach the, while we're at camp, we teach the parents what they're supposed to do and give them the. The ingredients for raising productive young adults and the four key concepts that we teach. It's kind of funny that we're in Winston-Salem and we teach our parents the five love languages because Dr. Chapman is right here in Winston-Salem. Met his wife, actually.
So we teach parents that it's your duty to teach your kids that you love them and show them. to teach proper discipline. to protect them from negative influences. And then to put something into your child, something positive, and preferably the Word of God, and Christian morals, values, and ethics.
So we teach the parents in a parenting program. Those concepts while the kids are going through our boot camp program, and basically, the kids are doing manual labor all day on a Saturday. And we teach the kids what we call our six steps of success: that if they are respectful of God, respectful of authority, respectful of others, and have some self-respect. If they'll get an education in whatever field they want to be in get Into, and that doesn't mean go to college, but be an electrician, go to school to be an electrician, be a plumber, trade school, whatever.
So, get educated and work hard, you can be successful in the United States as a citizen of the United States.
So, we have two different areas that we're focused on. And so the parents have to come to camp with the kids. It's a weekend program. We start on Friday night. And if the kids are good, I tell them on Friday night, I said, if you keep your mouth shut, you have a good attitude, and you do what we tell you to do, you can go home Saturday night.
But if you give me trouble, we're going to spend one more night and you'll go home Sunday.
Okay. Since we've done that, we've only had one kid force us to go to Sunday. Um.
So that's our camp program. As far as we know, we're the only camp of its kind in the United States because we're the only ones that require parents to go through the camp with their kids. Are these typically troubled kids, or who are these kids that typically come to boot camp? Defiant kids, smart elect kids. They're not doing their schoolwork, doing drugs.
Okay. And what's funny is that I'm a Baptist preacher. I speak in churches all over the South. Half the kids that come to our camp are church kids. And too often we think, well, those kids are church kids.
They put on a mask when they go to church on Sunday morning. Or they're forced to go or whatever. But they're hell on wheels at home. And so when moms, and especially single moms, they hear about us and they and I tell them, I will be your biggest cheerleader. I'll be your biggest support, but you got to come to camp.
So we've had this program going. We just celebrated our 10th anniversary last weekend. And what's funny is three or four years ago, we had a kid come through camp. And you would think that these kids hate me. And we're going to talk about that just in a few minutes, but we opened up a barbecue restaurant last year, and one of my kids from camp.
started working for me two weeks ago. Oh, good. On my anniversary. Come on.
So if if discipline is so bad and so evil, So toxic. Right. Why would this kid want to come work for me? Mm-hmm.
So That's our camp program. I teach parenting classes in churches and community organizations. We have our camp program. And the biggest thorn in my flesh. with the families that I work with.
is the the absence of a godly father in the home. Yeah. Yeah, we know there's an enemy who has tried to rip the family apart, right? Really, since the beginning of time. But yeah, and I've seen that even in our man camps, you know, when I hear some of the men's stories, how many of them either didn't have a father growing up or an absentee father, he was there but he wasn't there, kind of thing.
And it's interesting, Jimmy, because many of them will start out on day one, oh, I had a great family life, and by about day three, they're like, man, I hated my dad. It took him a couple of days to kind of let their hair down, so to speak, and open up and start to become transparent and vulnerable. And what are the age ranges on these kids for your boot camp? We've had them as young as eight. Oh, wow.
We'll take them at eight.
Okay. Up to 17. Eight to 17. And we've got some amazing stories of our eight-year-olds that have come through, eight, nine-year-olds that have come through. And.
Again. If a parent hears about us and they bring their kids to camp, they're causing some heartache in the home for the parent to be willing to come to a program like ours.
So Because of the lack of the absence of the godly father in the home, Five years ago during COVID, I'm riding down the road. And it's like the Lord slapped me upside the head and said, Son, you're sitting on a 142-acre camp. that sleeps seventy six people. Why aren't you doing more with that? And we came up with the idea to do a men's retreat.
And we started a ministry as an auxiliary of the Proactive Parenting Initiative that we called Men by Design.
Okay. And it started out with just a spring and a fall men's retreat. And it has grown to now, we're doing the weekly meetings. And So, what I try to do, I currently lead four Southern Baptist associations, their men's ministries, two in North Carolina, two in South Carolina, and you've spoken at. Three of those.
I was going to say several now, yeah. Yeah. And I got one more that we're going to have you add. Actually, I got two more that I'm going to get you on the calendar.
Somewhere in the future there. Yeah. Right. But. Harvard came out with a study back in 2018.
And it stated that the number one killer of American men is loneliness. Mm. And so loneliness is related to the depression, to all different things that are affecting the negative, the poor health in men. And as a pastor and um church staff member, I've seen How the church dynamic is. where people come to church They go through the motions of church on Sunday morning.
Right. Then they leave. Great. Um they are not They're not living a life of, I've been called out of the muck and the mire of the world, set on the solid rock. And now, this is now the church, is now my family, and I'm supposed to be doing life with the church.
No, they're still holding on to their biological families or their biological or their communities. And the church is just added to rather than I'm transformed, and now the church is my life. It's almost like checking a box. Let me just check that box because, yeah.
So Our churches are filled with lonely people, and so the. The idea of working with lonely men We we started this ministry basically based on let's have fellowship We want our guys to come to an event and hang out with one another. And we also tell our guys, hey. The guys that we're targeting. They don't go to church on Sunday.
They don't want to go to church. They've been to your church. They don't want to go to church. But you know what? They'll come eat some ribs with you.
Yeah. And for the record, Jamie makes some really good ribs and chicken. I'll just throw that out there, but we'll get to that. But yes, yeah, they'll eat.
So they'll come and eat. And if I have to pay for them to come eat, I'll buy them a meal.
So we good fellowship and I tell folks our food has to be excellent. Because if they're not coming for some cheap meal, so I tell people this: you'll never eat spaghetti at one of my events. And for the most part, you'll probably never have pulled pork. And the reason is, those are two of the cheapest meals that you can put together. And people know that you're doing something cheap.
And I want them to know, hey, we put some heart into this. We put some effort into this.
So we do fish fries, shrimp bowls. We do this thing called pitchfork steaks where we put steaks on a pitchfork and deep fry them. They're amazing.
Okay. I don't think I've ever heard of that, but that's wow. We're doing an event. This is another group that we're going to have you, Lord Willing, come to up in, I'll be in Lexington, North Carolina doing one of these. And so the, and the guys love it.
Last year we did this event and had like 60 or 70 guys there. We've got close to 150 registered for this next one. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, you're, I mean, everyone I've, every event I've done for you has been, you know, 100 plus or close to 200 and something or whatever. But yeah, so you're obviously doing something right. And of course, certainly the food, which food and fellowship.
Yeah. And then we bring in a speaker. We don't necessarily want a sermon. Yeah. We want your story.
Testimony. Your testimony. And now I will tell you this: in Traveler's Rest the other night, one of my best friends, he's actually the chairman of my board of directors. He says, Nikita hit the nail on the head. He said, We specifically brought in guys that we knew were lost.
Oh, wow. And he clearly presented the gospel that night. He said he presented the gospel better than I could have done at any Sunday service. Wow. You're listening to the truth network and truthnetwork.com.
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God bless you for making a difference around the world. You're listening to the Truth Network and truthnetwork.com. I would assume, maybe I shouldn't assume, but I would assume part of your vision for men by design and Offering these dinners is not only to empower men and be godly men and godly husbands and godly fathers, but is for that reason as well for them to maybe invite some unsaved friends, some lost friends who can come and hear a story or hear a testimony, but also realize there is a plan of salvation for their life. And I know too, like you've got, who's the fisherman? Hank Parker.
Hank Parker. He is. Two years ago, three years ago, we catered an event that Hank was speaking at.
Okay. And Hank loved my barbecue sauce so much. That we put his name and face on the barbecue sauce. Oh, come on. And for those who don't know who Hank Parker is, he is.
World famous outdoorsman, fisherman, TV personality. Yep. And so now it's called Hank Parker Southern Fusion Barbecue Sauce. Wow. Made right here in North Carolina.
Come on.
Now, so before I forget, before we run out of time. Y where where's you said you open a barbe where's your barbecue uh place at your your restaurant that you opened?
So last year this lady had a restaurant three three minutes, five minutes from our camp ministry.
Okay. And she wanted she wanted out of the restaurant business. And my son has always had the dream of having his own restaurant. And so we went from having barbecue sauce, doing men's events, cooking for them. Then we opened up a restaurant.
Okay. Most people do it the complete opposite.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
So now our restaurant is called the Southern Fusion Barbecue Barn. It's in Chesney, South Carolina.
Okay. And they are the ones responsible for catering all of our men's events. They do a great job. They do most of the food. Our staff does a lot of the food, and I do a lot of it as well.
So your camp is near there, too. You said 142-acre camp.
So that's in Chesney as well? Actually, it's right across the state line, and our mail-in address is a Mooresboro, North Carolina mail-in address.
Okay, okay. We're actually out in the middle of nowhere. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. No, it's good for the kids that come. Right, absolutely.
So Hoff and you'll take as little as I know before we came on the show, you said, you know, the Coming weekend, you're going to minister to one kid. All right, so camp, we do have camp this weekend, and camp starts on Fridays, and the deadline to register is the Wednesday before camp.
Okay. So that's today. And we as of right now, we have one child registered. And so you'll do it for as few as one. My staff will show up, and my staff are all volunteers.
They will come to camp for one kid. And how often are you doing it every weekend or how often? No, once a month. Once a month.
Okay, once a month you're doing the for the for the uh Shall we say troubled teens? Would that be fair to say? Although you have taken them younger, you said to eight years old. And then. Troubled adolescents.
Troubled adolescents. That's good. And then for the men, a couple times a year you said that you're doing it for the men? We do a spring retreat.
Okay, one. Just one spring retreat. A spring retreat. Gotcha. For the men in the same location.
Okay. And do you put like however many men come, come? We've never had more than 50 guys. And what hurts us on our numbers is we start on Thursday night.
So they come in on Thursday night and then have to take a day off from work on Friday. But that's when what we found out is we found out that rather than preaching and teaching. We get more work done sitting around a fire pit. guys talking And on Thursday night, the guys are usually kind of quiet. Right.
But. Friday night, you can't shut them up because they've spent all day with each other on a golf course or shooting clays or fishing, and now they're friends and they feel more comfortable sharing in our fire pit.
So you do at your camp for the men, like you do some men's stuff. Obviously, you just mentioned shooting clay. Golfing, but just guy stuff. You do guy stuff there to kind of create some bonding among the men and Getting them to maybe take a deep breath and relax and then be able to open up.
So then just a full Saturday and they go home Sunday, or what do they do? It's. Thursday night, all day Friday. Friday evening and our last session is Saturday morning at breakfast, then they go home.
Okay. Okay. And uh Is it kind of just word of mouth, or how do you get guys there? We do all of our advertising on Facebook primarily and word of mouth. And I want to throw this in, too.
Everywhere we go, The ladies complain About when are we going to get a shrimp bowl? When are we going to get steaks? When are we going to get ribs and chicken? Right. And I said, well, y'all schedule something and I'll come.
And so. We started a ministry now called Women by Design. My wife is leading that.
Okay. And I'm the caterer for that. And the ladies are eating the man food from our men's ministries. I love it.
Well, and I'm chuckling, I'm laughing because, like, with our man camps, I hear the same, like, from the women, like, What are you going to do?
Well, how come you're not doing a women for camp, a camp for women? I go, because I'm not a woman. Right. That would be the main reason. But if I find a woman who would be willing to, I'll be willing.
We also do camp, two camps a year called Manhood Camp for middle school aged boys. I like that. And we bring them to camp. It's a one-night event, but all day on Saturday, we teach them how to change oil, how to use jumper cables, how to change a tire, do some welding skills. This fall, our primary focus is going to be lawnmower maintenance.
And Everybody's asking me, so when are you going to do a girls' camp? And I said, I'm not a girl. And I said, And I told him, I said, You probably don't want me doing a girls' camp. Yeah, right, right, right. I'm going to have to get, I have to get you on the Christian Car Guy show with Robbie Dilmore what you just said about what you teach.
Robbie would love to hear that. I'm going to make sure you guys get introduced and maybe get you on the Christian Car Guy Show.
So, okay, so. Men by design, now you got the women by design, the Christian boot camps let you do it once a month. Right? The camp for men, the retreat for men once a year. How how often uh is your wife doing the women by design?
Going into next year, we only did six events.
So we're booking the calendar for next year. We've already booked the calendar for this year.
So. And then that will lead. Into women's retreats, but she's not going to use our camp facility because we want the ladies to have something a little nicer than where us guys are. That camp on the rugged side, a little on the manly side, you might say. Yeah, sleeping bags and pillows, okay?
And I just think the ladies would like something nicer. No, and so I get that there's a lot of parallels here, Jamie, because our man camp, which that caretaker has had women's. Camps there, but the same thing: sleep a bag, pillow, whatever. You know, we're just guys to want it to be rugged. We don't, we, it's not a luxury man camp, it's a man-up man camp, right?
Hey, it's time to man-up, right? Name of the show, right? It's time to man up. And so, by design, uh, to take a page out of your book, we intentionally want the camp to be rugged, we want the guys to experience the outdoors, so to speak. And we have cabins and Chuck How Chuck Wagon and Eden Howl and all that sort of thing.
While at the same time, we want guys to, you know, get out there in God's creation and experience that as well, right?
So, all right, so what so give me some uh information like How do people how do people what are the websites for the rest of the design? What are the websites for man by design? Check us out at proactiveparents.org, okay, proactiveparents.org. Our Facebook page is the Proactive Parenting Initiative. And if you're a guy, um Ask to join Men by Design on Facebook.
It's a private group. No, I don't want your wife joining. I want guys to join. And the same for if the ladies are interested in women by design, they can join that as well. What about the boot camp?
Like, how do they find out? Like, somebody's got a lot of people. Proactive parenting initiative. Oh, that's all that's open. That's all on there.
Proactiveparents.org. Proactiveparents.org. O-R-G is how they can find out maybe they got a troubled teen or just a troubled child. Or give me a call: 864-320-4844. Say it again.
One more thing. 864-320-4844.
So you got a lot going on. Of course, it's been an honor just to be a part of what you're doing. We're just getting started, brother. Yeah, I know. I love it.
And I mean, all the ones I've been to, the guys are incredibly receptive, and we just have a lot of fun with it. And so, we've got just a couple of minutes left here. What would be. A message you'd either want to send to the parents or want to send to the men or both in our last couple minutes here.
Well, to the men, because of the man, this is the man up podcast. This happened this week. A friend of mine that I'm going to be with tomorrow night, he called in. They got 40 guys, actually, almost 50 guys from their church coming to our event. And I said, How did you do that?
He said, Man, he goes, I just told the older guys, he said, We got people, he said, We got young people in our church, preacher boys in our church, that you've never even. encourage them. And he said he said, I'm tired of the older fellas just. Be an encouragement to the younger guys. Tell them: say, man, I'm proud of you.
I'm praying for you. Don't make the mistakes I made when I was young. Give your heart to the Lord. Follow him with everything you got. And I'm going to be your cheerleader, man.
I'm going to be praying for you. That's what we need the older guys to do. I spoke at a men's event last week, and the majority of the guys in the room were over 60. And it's like, hey guys. Love on, disciple, mentor these younger fellas, and let them know, I got your back.
It's like a Paul and a Timothy, right? Yeah. In a sense, like, hey, be a Paul, find a young man, you know, maybe doesn't have a dad or have any male leadership. And just embrace that young man and model that for him. Embrace him, sew into him, spend time with him, and so that he can grow up and be a responsible adult one day, right?
And well, it's pretty amazing.
Well, I just wanted to. You're a follower of Jesus. That's what we're looking for. Ultimately, yeah, absolutely, right? Ultimately, instill the gospel in him.
So, Christian Bootcamp, just check out proactiveparents.org. Like, if you have a troubled teen or a troubled child and you're inspired by what Jamie has shared today, or tell people about us, please. Word of mouth. Tell people about us. You might have a friend with a troubled kid.
There you go. Yeah, spread the word on that. And, you know, just keep your eyes open for men by design. I've been honored and it's been a blessing just to be a guest speaker for that. And, of course, Jamie Murphy and the barbecue place will kind of end up.
On that. How do they find out? Where's that at again?
Southern Fusion Barbecue Barn, Chesney, South Carolina. Just Google us. You'll find us. In Chesney, South Carolina. And the Men by Design, they can find that on Facebook.
Men by Design on Facebook. On Facebook.
Well, great to have you in the studio with me today. Yes, sir. Just a privilege. I look forward to the next time we're together and not only breaking bread together or loving on some ribs and chicken. But most importantly, sharing the good news and sharing how Jesus transforms our lives, right?
And for all of you, thank you for being so faithful to tune in week in and week out. And just continue to spread the word on the Man Up Show as well. And QA with Koloff, too. Don't forget that. Until then, till next time, go out and just have a God-filled and live a God-blessed day.
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