Welcome to Hope in the Morning. turning tragedies and tears into testimonies of hope. Welcome to Hope in the Morning. I'm your host, Emily Curtis, and my guests today, Josh and Michael Ingram, have turned misery into a mission. Her deepest sorrow has been met with the deep mercy of the Lord, and they have faithfully proclaimed his goodness alongside their testimony.
Josh and Mache, thank you for joining me today. Thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. So I want to dive in and talk about the fact that you guys started this wonderful organization called Love Can Build a Briggs. And can you tell me a little bit about that organization and what inspired it?
Sure.
So while we were in the hospital with Briggs, he was in the hospital for five days after his accident. Um, he was involved in a drowning accident in our family lake house in July of 2022. And while we were in the hospital afterwards, a family friend had a dream that we began a drowning awareness nonprofit in his honor named Love Can Build a Briggs. And she had the name and everything in her dream. She told us about it at the time, but I just couldn't wrap my mind around that yet.
But in the months that followed Briggs' passing, it became very evident that the Lord. Yeah. Had given her that dream to share with us because it was going to become our reality, and it did. We are in, we're almost in year three of having Love Can Build a Briggs, and it's a drowning awareness and water safety organization. And we also provide grief support to other families who have lost a child.
Wow, that's that's wonderful. You guys really got started on that very quickly. Yes. Was that a hard thing to jump into quickly? It yes and no.
We especially me, um, Josh likes to be busy, and then I he's a fireman, but I um I chose to stay at home and raise my babies and homeschool them.
So I could tell very quickly that I needed a purpose. And a mission, and the charity gave me just that. And it was also a way that I could honor Briggs.
So I know that it was God sent, and He is who put it on our heart to start that right away because I think it's what I mean, he, of course, has sustained us, but having that mission has also just motivated us to keep going day after day like we do. Yeah. You had mentioned that that you lost Briggs in a drowning accident. How old how old was Briggs? Briggs was two and a half.
He would have turned three that December.
Okay, and you have other children as well? Yes, we have a daughter, Allie. She is now eleven. She was eight. Yes.
She was eight at the time.
Okay. And now, Josh, Miche mentioned that you are a firefighter and. I'm curious how The loss of Briggs affected your job in those coming weeks and months, and just knowing. Knowing that as firefighters, a lot of times you have to go and you vi visit a lot of hard scenes. Um How did that affect you in that way?
As far as going back to work, I was fine. Everyone was really supportive. and I guess uh sensitive about What they said, or where we went, or who went to do what. For certain cause, I guess. Everything worked out fine.
Yeah, and the fire department is a brotherhood, so he had an amazing community around him, and they just they did so many things to Keep him. emotionally safe and honor brigs. Yeah. Yeah, you know, that's that's a really neat thing because a lot of men don't have that. A lot of men don't have um A brotherhood like that that can stand beside them and help encourage them and keep them strong and steady in the midst of heartache.
How did you guys comfort your daughter in that time? We let Allie know that she could be honest with us. She didn't have to hide her sadness or grief and there was nothing she could say that would make us sad or hurt our feelings. We just wanted her to know that she could 100% express how she was feeling, what she wanted to do, to honor Briggs. We also let her be a part, an active part of the charity.
She helps with so much at only 11 years old. But just letting her know that she's included and she's allowed to be honest, share her ideas with us. Um Grief is definitely a family journey. And I do try to hide the heavier parts of it from her and let those moments be more private. But I've let her.
See, watch me gently grieve so that she knew it was okay for her to do that, too. Yeah. Did you have to make kind of an intentional effort for that to? to allow yourself to grieve publicly in front of her. Yes, because my first instinct is to hide it from her because she's a child and I want her to look at me as.
A strong woman, but I felt like it was important for her to see me be sad sometimes so that she would know and feel more comfortable to be sad too. I didn't want her to ever feel like she had to hide how she was feeling. Yeah, I think that's great. You know, as parents, I think that is kind of like our. our go-to.
Like we think that we are giving our kids um protection, I guess, in a sense, by not not grieving openly in front of them, but It offers them the ability, like you had said, Miche, is. the ability to see someone that they do look up to and that they do look Look at as a strong mom and a strong dad, and see that when our hearts are aching, it's okay to be sad and it's okay to let the tears flow to grieve him and. You know I guess you're about you're about three years out from your loss of Briggs and You know, I would assume that the grief Is just as strong. on days as it as it first was. Can you tell me kind of what grief has looked like for you like from year one versus year three?
Yeah. Yeah, so Year one, you are still very much in shock and everything is still so raw and sensitive. And you're kind of running on adrenaline. You also still have that communal support. People are still very aware of your pain and they want to help in that.
But after you're one, that begins to kind of trickle off because people go back to their normal lives. You know, they're not living with the pain that we're living with every day.
So the community does kind of, you know, back off, and you almost feel like people. Think that it's time for you to move on. And obviously, you can't. You don't ever stop loving your child.
So, grieving a child is never going to end either. And now, as his three-year anniversary comes up, I've actually noticed I'm having a very hard time as we approach that milestone because it will signify that he's actually been in heaven longer than he was on earth. Yeah. And that's a really hard milestone to face. Yeah.
I think that's important for the listeners to understand that, you know, when you face those anniversaries of just like you said, that you've had him longer in the arms of the Lord than he was in your arms now. And there's. a very um I guess a sobering sadness that can come with that because you would have desired to have him in your arms all the length of his days, and that he would have had extended length of days. What are some things now in year three? What are some things that people in the church specifically can do to encourage families that are in year three, year four, year five?
Um Church Community specifically, it would help to know that we're not being rushed in our grief and like to even acknowledge that grieving is not going to end just because time passes. You know, you can still be a strong Christian. You can be a Christian, period, and grieve. That doesn't mean you're lacking in faith because you're sad. Yeah.
And it doesn't show weakness. As a Christian, either. In fact, I feel like I'm a stronger Christian now. And I've been saved since I was a little girl, but I feel like an even stronger Christian now than before because of the way our grief has just made us rely on the Lord like never before.
So just. you know, knowing that, um I'm not, we're not being rushed, and that it's not weakness. Um You know, just acknowledgement of both our grief and our faith, no matter what the timeline looks like. Yeah, that's that's such a good point to point out. The fact that.
Grieving does not mean that your faith is weak. That doesn't mean that you don't have a strong relationship with the Lord. It means you loved your son. And that you miss your son. And that is That's a godly thing.
You know, we are called to love our children and provide for them and protect them. And, um, That's the new form that love takes on when your loved one dies. It takes on grief. And so that's that's your That's your expression. That's your outward.
outpouring of love. Before we go to Break, can you let me know a couple of the ways that you and your family honor Briggs? Yes, so like we mentioned before, we started the charity Love Kimball to Briggs in Briggs Honor. Um we hold a Charitable event once a year.
So we've had it twice now. It's called Briggs Day. And we hold it the closest Saturday to his heaven date. And it's just a way that we can bring honor to his life. And it feels like a celebration of his life rather than a time to mourn.
And we make it a big community event so everyone can be a part. And the focus is a family fun day, but we also have a memory walk. For all children who have gone ahead of us to heaven to honor all families. who were walking the the same journey that we are. We also, for his birthday, we do a lantern release.
Um to just you know celebrate the The the day card game. What what um state is Briggs Day? Held in Georgia.
Okay. What what town is it in? It's in Bremen. In Bremen.
Okay. Well, some of our listeners might want to join you guys one of those days on one of those special Briggs days. That's really special. And when we come back, I would love to hear more just about who Briggs was, what made him special, and also. How you guys helped maintain a strong marriage through that?
Because that also can be a difficult thing.
So, join us in just a moment on Hope in the Morning. Do you have a heart to comfort the hurting? Do you want to show the world that through Jesus Christ we can have hope in all circumstances?
Well, then we welcome you to visit hopeinthemorning.org and see how you can join us in these ministry endeavors. May you be encouraged by who our God is as you continue this episode of Hope in the Morning. To learn more, visit us at hopeinthemorning.org. Hope in the Morning is a non-profit ministry that seeks to encourage the hurting, equip those who walk beside them, and evangelize the lost with the hope of Jesus Christ. To partner with our ministry or to make a donation in your loved one's honor, please visit hopeinthemorning.org.
Your donation helps keep these stories of hope on the air and helps tangibly meet the needs of the herd. Welcome back to Hope in the Morning. Today, I'm sitting down with Josh and Michael Ingram, and we are talking about their sweet little boy Briggs and the foundation that they started in his honor. I'm going to open with a verse from Isaiah 41:10 that says, Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you. I will also help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
So often, when we lose something precious to us, there's an element of fear there. Your whole world has just been. turned upside down and shaken and you wonder what what the future is going to look like. I would love for you guys to share with us not only who Briggs was and what what really made him special. But then also You know, what what did those days and weeks after you first lost him, what did that look like for you for your family?
So Briggs was our rainbow baby. We had had a miscarriage about a year or more before we had him.
So he was our Know our promise after the storm, and he was so full of light, he was so mischievous and fun and joyful. I mean, he had the biggest personality in that little body. He, I call him, you know, he was our lot. He truly was just that missing piece of our life. Allie began asking for a sibling.
At the time, we couldn't fathom having another child because we loved her so much. I remember being so scared to have another one. And then the Lord gave us bricks and it just, it truly felt like. Our lives were complete with him in it. He had the most infectious laugh.
I can't explain his laugh. You just have to hear it, but it would fill up a room and it would make everyone else cackle behind him. There's a picture actually of him just bent over, laughing, and you can just see his little dimples and how hard he was laughing. I tell everyone, I think God gave him such a big personality because he knew. He would only be here a short time, and that he would leave a great legacy behind.
Were there things for you, Josh, that you loved specifically about having a son? I guess the fact that he always wanted to go wherever I was going or do what I was doing. Yeah. Especially. The older he was getting, the more he wanted to go with me.
Aw. Was he a really talkative little boy? Yes. Yeah. I love that.
That that is so much fun. And were he he and his big sister, were they just glued at the hip all the time? Yes. Now there was a six-year age gap.
So obviously they had different. Interest. Yeah. But they were still very close for there to be such a great age gap there.
So for you guys, in those first couple of weeks, you know, talking through the verse that I just read about how, you know, do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God. You know In those first weeks when you just feel shock, as you were saying, Michael. How How did you cling to the Lord during that time? Um So I I remember praying in the hospital first. Josh performed CPR for 30 minutes after he pulled Briggs from the lake and he regained a heartbeat in the ambulance and then was lifelighted to UAB Children's, where he remained on life support for five days.
So, during those five days, we just prayed and pleaded and believed that God was going to heal Briggs and give him back to us. Our minds kind of didn't go anywhere else. Like, we just knew this will just be our miracle, and it'll be Brick's testimony one day. Um, So we hadn't prepared ourselves. For the possibility that he might actually pass away.
So when he did, My first prayer was, Lord, keep me. Mm-hmm. I knew um That You know, I could lose my mind. Like, truly, I was scared of that happening. Um, so I just stayed in a constant state of prayer.
Um, And then given the way the bricks pass. Past that haunted my mind.
So I mean, I can't tell you how many nights that I just laid awake, just tormented in my mind.
So I started reciting Psalms 23: The Lord is my shepherd. And eventually I would just fall asleep reciting that chapter over and over again. Um It was just constant prayer and reciting, you know. Verse after verse that I was even able to make it during those first few weeks. There's a book, I'm not sure if you guys have read it.
Granger Smith, have you guys read his book, River?
So he he talks about that he talks in that book about how one of the things he really struggled with as a parent was just feelings of guilt afterwards. And was that something that you guys struggled with at all? Yes, I did. I did big time. Um Obviously, it was an accident, and no parent can be everywhere at once and have eyes everywhere at once.
And unfortunately, after the fact, we have found out that drowning can happen in as little as 30 seconds and it's silent. It's not like you see on TV. It could be happening right beside you, and you wouldn't know it. Um So Yes, I dealt with a lot of guilt and the Lord has really had to help me overcome that amount of guilt because I mean, it's your job as a as a parent to protect your child. But accidents do happen.
That's just the way of the world. And it took a lot of wrestling with the Lord through prayer to even be able to live with myself, to be honest. You know, that's one of the things I think is important for the listeners to know, too, is that drowning is silent and it happens fast. And so it oftentimes is not due to negligence. It is not due to a parent that isn't paying attention.
It just happens so fast. And You know, I think I know that Granger Smith dealt with people just saying terrible things and things that really. Really, we're ignorant because you don't know what that is. And I think the fact that you guys have a program now where you educate people on. Swim safety and what drowning looks like.
That's such a great thing. And it's such a needed thing because it doesn't look like. What the movies portray it to be. That's not what it looks like. Josh Did you find that you were able to help Michael when she was struggling with those feelings of guilt?
Uh I try to do my best. Yeah. As hard as it was sometimes. Yeah. He did.
He constantly reassured me that it wasn't my fault. Yeah. He was very great. He exemplified grace in those moments for sure. I love that.
And one of the things that we talk about sometimes on Hope in the Morning is, which I think that you had a great support system as a firefighter, it sounds like. But oftentimes, men don't. And here they are leading their family through grief and facing the grief themselves. And that's a heavy burden. Um And so what would you say, Josh, are some practical ways, whether it's ways that your fellow firefighters stepped up and showed you compassion and love, or people in your church or in your community, what are some practical ways that men can step in and to help encourage and support other men who are grieving.
Uh just being present. Mm-hmm. Staying in contact, the quick text: how are you thinking about you? Praying for you. The phone calls.
Mm-hmm. Just really just staying in staying in contact. Yeah, the present, yeah. and communicating with you. That's that's great.
What did you guys do to help keep your marriage strong? Do you want to talk about it?
Well, one thing we had to do is recognize how we were going to present our grief because we're very different. He's very inward, whereas I like to express myself verbally.
So. Um, he had to be a good listener, and I had to look for the ways that he presented his grief physically because he didn't do so verbally.
Okay, um. And at first, it bothered me, but the Lord helped me show Him grace in those moments. And helped me see he was grieving, he was just doing it in a different way.
So I started noticing those ways so I could, you know, I could recognize it and be there for him. in those moments and just knowing that We had to constantly remember that we were on the same team. We were fighting the same battle, and two are better than one.
So there was no, you know, no sense in attacking each other.
So we just try to stay supportive, show grace to each other. Josh, I call him my roots. He um he's definitely Um I don't want to say more emotionally stable. I don't think I'm unstable, but he's just more sound. Yes, I totally, I totally get that.
Yes. My husband and I are the same way. He's nothing really phases him, you know. Whereas I feel all my emotions and I feel them big. But I think that's.
Yeah, and I think that it's that's a blessing, really, from the Lord when you can have that strong and steady anchor of a husband. And I know that. you know, oftentimes for me, I joke with my husband, I say, you're my therapy human, because he just like I just feel calm when I'm with him, and there's a comfort in that. And even with both of you, you know, having lost Briggs, You lost you lost an equal an equally precious Person in your lives. You know, only the two of you know what it's like to have him as your child.
And so even though you grieve differently, That's such a big A big thing to have in common that to be able to see, okay, he is grieving, he's just grieving in a different way. How can I have grace toward that? And read that for what it is, even though it's different than my grief. Did you guys have tools that you used at all during your journey, whether it was like counseling or journaling or anything that you guys found helpful? Um Together no.
Um separately, he He dove into work more. That is, that's his passion.
So he was able to. pursue that um I did go to counseling. Um I I actually have a psychology degree in Christian counseling.
Okay. So, um, I actually only counsel for just a little while because I was counseling myself. Yes. She said you would make a really good counselor. And I was like, Well, as a matter of fact, However, I do highly recommend that.
I believe in it wholeheartedly. We really leaned into our community, whether it was our family, or our friends, or our church, or the fire department. Those things helped us the most, just having that large safety net around us. That was part of the. probably the strongest tool we had.
I love that. I think it's so important to have tools, and even having been a counselor, you know. I think that you probably had a greater arsenal of tools that you could think through that the average person maybe doesn't have at their disposal without going somewhere else. When we continue our episode on YouTube, I would love to talk more about kind of what your organization does, like what you teach in that, and also, you know, just how like what Josh's involvement is in that and how people can contact you. Before we go, though, I would love for you to just say how they can contact you and learn about your organization.
And then those of you that want to continue hearing more of their story, you can join us on YouTube at Hope in the Morning Backstage, and we will continue this episode. But in the meantime, Josh and Miche, where can they find more information about Love Builds a Briggs?
Okay, we have a website, www.lovekimbuilderbriggs.com, and we are also very active on social media social media, both with the charity and On my personal blog, I share a lot about my hope in the morning, and it's under she who prays.
Okay. So she who prays is for your Instagram and for your blog. Yes. All right, we'll go find them on lovebuildsbriggs.com and she who prays. Thank you so much for joining us today, and I hope you guys will join us for the remainder of this conversation on Hope in the Morning Backstage.
Have a wonderful evening. Hope in the Morning is a non-profit ministry that seeks to encourage the hurting. equip those who walk beside them, and evangelize the lost with the hope of Jesus Christ. To partner with our ministry or to make a donation in your loved one's honor, please visit hopeinthemorning.org. Your donation helps keep these stories of hope on the air and helps tangibly meet the needs of the hurting.
