Mama Can't Remember

As caregivers, we have so many things that hit us all the time, and we can't always nail these things down by ourselves. Who helps you?

What does that look like? I'm Peter Rosenberg, and I want to tell you about a program I've been a part of now for almost 10 years, and that's Legal Shield. For less than $30 a month, I have access to a full law firm that can handle all kinds of things.

If I get a contract put in front of me, if I got a dispute with something, doesn't matter. I've got a full law firm that can help me navigate through all the sticky wickets that we as caregivers have to deal with. Power of attorney, medical power of attorney, I will.

Every bit of it. As a caregiver, we need someone who advocates for us, and that's why I use Legal Shield. So go to caregiverlegal.com. Look on the left-hand side where it says Legal Shield. Just select it.

It turns purple. It says, pick a plan. It'll give you some options.

If you don't need any of those, don't select them. Check out and be protected starting today. That's caregiverlegal.com. Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. I am Peter Rosenberg, and this is the program for you as a family caregiver.

More than 65 million are dealing with this right now in the United States. Are you one of them? If so, you're in the right place. We're glad that you are here. Hopeforthecaregiver.com. And also, while I'm at it, I'm going to be doing some more things with our podcast, some group interviews through Zoom and some other things I'm going to have, and I'm going to put them out on our podcast. I'm going to put it out on our Facebook page, our Facebook group page, and feel free to take a moment to go out and join that Facebook group page.

It's a wonderful page. We have people just joining every day that are wanting to just connect with the community. It's a private group.

I administer it. The group is called Hope for the Caregiver. The Facebook page is called Hope for the Caregiver.

I have both. And one, you can just follow along. It's more of a public page. The other is a group that you could join and just share what's on your heart or learn from other people, share what's on their heart. That's Hope for the Caregiver on Facebook, the page, or the group, or both. I plan on doing some Facebook live events there as well and trying to do all kinds of things to push back against the isolation that we as caregivers struggle with on a daily basis.

That is one of the most crippling things we have to deal with as caregivers is isolation. We can't fix that problem necessarily, just due to logistics, but we can be creative. And that's what we're trying to do with all of our social media platforms and everything that I do with this program, with the podcast, and so forth. All right. In hopes that you are not weary of this particular issue that I'm getting ready to address, I've talked about it before, but I just keep having these teachable moments with it. And I thought, well, okay, I'll share it.

And if you guys, you know, roll your eyes, so be it, but this is where I live. I have a foot problem and I can't seem to, you know, get on top of this thing, so to speak. And I went to the doctor and he told me to get these special inserts.

I did, and they're helping somewhat, but I also realized that I needed to go one more step. And evidently, as you get older, your feet, you know, kind of sink, your arches go away a little bit. You lose that strength in your arch, in your foot, and it causes all kinds of problems. And the left part of my left foot, it's my left foot, and the left part of my left foot is really hurting. And it's hard to do all the things that I do. I don't have a sitting desk, by the way.

I stand for everything. My desk rises up and I don't even have a chair in my office. So I'm always on my feet and at a moment's notice, going to take care of Gracie and doing all the things I do, but my foot is hurting.

And I'm trying to think, well, what is going on with this? I've tried, you know, these inserts and they are helping, but I also ordered a pair of flip-flops with a great arch support in them. And it's giving a lot of space to my foot just to kind of breathe for a little bit.

Out in Montana, flip-flops could be a little bit chilly, particularly in the morning, but I'm going with it. And then I've ordered another pair of sneakers that I'm going to use that have a wider foot. And hopefully this is going to help, you know, correct this issue because it's really starting to become uncomfortable. All right.

So what does that have to do with anything? And I was thinking about this. We have a caregiver support group out here that I launched and we've got a great group that comes every week. And we were talking about this yesterday and I couldn't help but think about what I'm dealing with, the principle I'm dealing with, with my foot. What did my foot need? Well, it needed more support and a little bit more space. More support and a little bit more space. Now I ask you as a caregiver, could you use some more support and a little bit more space?

And if so, what does that look like? What does that look like today for you? What does more support look like for you? I have people that write me and tell me that they get up, you know, every single day and they get up, you know, every Saturday morning and they listen to this program and it's kind of a anchor for them to be connected outside of their own isolation. So maybe this support does that for you. If so, I am very grateful. That is mission accomplished for me because that's why I do the program.

What about space? Do you give yourself enough space? Are there toxic people in your life that call you and when you answer the phone, you get in these conversations with them and you feel worse after talking with them than you did before they called? You know, think about the old days when we didn't have caller ID, cell phones and all this stuff. We would just answer the phone every time it rang.

I mean, that was pretty brave. We never knew who was going to be on the other line, I think. But nowadays you do know for the most part. And if you don't recognize the number, you know, you certainly don't have to answer it. If you do recognize the number, guess what?

You certainly don't have to answer it. And sometimes you can change the name in your phone of that person who's calling you that every time they call, they just, it just goes south and maybe put their first name and then a note to yourself. Like if it's Ellen and you could put Ellen, she's crazy.

Don't engage. And you could type that in as their name. I mean, laugh if you want. What do you think that would do for you? Do you think that would at least give you enough of a moment's pause to realize, Hey, Fred, comma, he's toxic.

Be careful. There are all kinds of things you could do, and you certainly don't even have to answer the phone, but you can give yourself that kind of space so that you're not just serving as a punching bag for somebody who wants to call and just tear into you for all the things you're doing wrong as a caregiver. Or there's some other types that call and they want to whiteboard everything. Have you tried this? Have you tried this? Have you tried this?

Have you tried this? And then it's exhausting to explain to them that, yeah, you're doing it. Sometimes you just want to say, Hey, what's the view like from the cheap seats, but you're trying to restrain yourself and be polite. And I get that. I'm the same way, but we can give ourselves some space. We can navigate around those individuals. I know that sometimes we want to push back and we want to have a big victory, but sometimes not making it worse is a big victory. Sometimes not having to engage with that kind of drama is a big victory. Sometimes the fights you don't have are the big victories. And the way you do that is you just learn to navigate around certain people.

Yeah, it may take a little bit more creativity on your part. Yes, you shouldn't have to do it. Yes, you may spend a little bit more time having to go around them, but how much time and mental anguish and stress and resentment are you going to save yourself by not engaging with these individuals on their terms? That doesn't mean you don't get to engage with them.

It just means that you do it on your terms when you're in a place of strength, when you're in a place of mental clarity. You don't have to go to every fight that you get a ticket to. You can't go to every fight that you get to. You can sit some out.

You can navigate around them. Give yourself some space. I mean, I'm doing that with my foot and it's working.

Again, the toes get a little cold in flip-flops when you're in Montana, but give yourself some space and let it heal. Let yourself get a little stronger. And then what about support? What does support look like for you? Well, okay, if you get into this program, maybe this is a good place to start.

You know, I put stuff out there on the podcast and all these kinds of things that I do, all the things I'm doing with social media. That's why I'm doing it, because I want to extend the same support and comfort and strength that I myself lean on, depend on, and have received. Paul says that in Corinthians.

So I think that's a pretty good model. But what about a trusted friend, a pastor, somebody you can reach out to and just spend with and let them build you up. If people are not leaving you with scripture to hang on to in the midst of your distress, you kind of wonder how much time you need to spend with those people. Okay? Be wary of that.

Give yourself some support and some space, just like I did with my foot. All right. This is Peter Rosenberg. This is hope for the caregiver. Thank you.