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"Ice Cream In the Cupboard"

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
February 2, 2021 2:53 pm

"Ice Cream In the Cupboard"

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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February 2, 2021 2:53 pm

Pat Moffett details his journey with his wife, Carmen, following her early onset diagnosis with Alzheimer's disease. His book, "Ice Cream in the Cupboard was turned into a movie that can be watched on Amazon Prime. 

 

COVERED TOPICS / TAGS (Click to Search)
family relationships alzheimers caregiving earlyonset
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Jared arrived in Roseburg led ahead with this is the nation's largest show 51.

Love special-needs child is diagnosed with the grim illness of trauma. Mike wife was hurt back in 83 horrible acts. To date, cost her the baby surgeries multiple exit hundred doctors treated her in 12 different hospitals. It's a massive ordeal not been her sole caregiver now for over 35 years.

So when you walk through something like this.

What happens to you was a caregiver. This is what we talked about on the show and how can you navigate to this a little safer a little calmer and dare I say it a little more joy know you can appreciate beauty, enjoy and grow as an individual and become enriched through this process, but it is not easy and it does take the help of others who reach into your situation with with insights and with with wisdom and with help and just being with you all caregiver struggle with what I call the three eyes we lose our independence we become isolated, we lose our identity. For example, ask a caregiver. How are you feeling the caregiver will often and usually say well we had a bad night or she's not doing well or he's okay or our situation is such and such very hard for caregiver to speak in first person singular.

I hurt I am tired. I'm struggling in these are are important things for caregivers to learn to say, we provide an environment where they can buy radio show to the show and others where where they can just speak from their old heart. It doesn't matter what comes after the word I now are having a real conversation but so many of us to mediums try to white knuckle this the and and somehow think that we can we can beat this so we can do this we we can we can handle all this thing can't caregivers. I like to refer to as high functioning multitaskers and and we really think that is driven by. Sometimes our sense of obligation that we filling this is mine, I got a do it my duty. I made a file to my wife or or I brought this child into the world or whatever we we think all these things that that that spur us on to it human levels of trying to do something to wrap our arms around something that cannot be contained and and this is the this is the starting point for everything we do for the show of how we can learn to deal with those feelings and better walk through the craziness of whatever we have in the faces, caregivers, and today's guest would have on after the break worker bring on Pat Moffat Pat little book called. I screamed in the cupboard. It was made into a movie and I did you wait to hear his story. It talks about early onset Alzheimer's first wife was in her 50s and and it is a is a powerful source a hard story to tell stories and their painful things, but through it. You go to see some things that are going to be applicable in your life today in my life today of what we can glean for, and how we can be stronger and healthier and you know what healthy caregivers make better caregivers. It's okay for you to be healthy, but you know that it is okay for you to be healthy.

In fact, is not only okay. It's imperative because if if you're headed in your heart are messed up and you're not healthy emotionally, spiritually, what chance does your wallet have what chance does your job ever your other relationships or your body so let's go to that place were we. We recognize that healthy caregivers do indeed make better caregivers that is. Hopefully caregivers that we can live a better life through. This doesn't mean we go to without tearing the tears of despair not to be tears of great and that's what you think you find in the show today and I'm looking forward to you to quickly write back.

This is home computer. Roseburg hopefully caregiver.com healthy caregivers in seven emergency support safety, reducing isolation, these things are more important than ever.

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247.com Pat Moffat show today and I saw his movie over the weekend and he and I talked several days ago and I didn't really know quite what to expect when I saw this movie but I would ended and I and I sequestered myself so I could watch it come by myself and as I got into it. I appreciated that decision because I needed to do experience this without a lot of other distractions going on this.

Not the kind of you sit down with a box of popcorn, thing.

Now, with the assistance of I'm going to learn and I'm going to embrace and I'm going to respect the trauma that early onset Alzheimer's does to a couple to a family to an individual in this story about patted his wife Carmen who got this diagnosis when she was in her early 50s.

The movie is called ice cream in the cupboard. That doesn't take long for anybody that's even remotely familiar with Alzheimer's.

To understand how you would come up with something like ice cream in the cupboard as a title for this. It is based on his book and Pat wrote this Eddie didn't it. One of things that that moved me about this is that there was not an agenda somehow vilify someone or vindicate someone. It was about as honest portrayal as you'll ever see in this situation. Now, early onset is a little bit different than when you were diagnosed much later in life. I just saw the news. By the way Pat that the Tony Bennett has about to drop that I'm five years old or close to there's gotta be a much different path for Tony and his family.

Then there was for Pat and his wife Carmen and their two children and there is this is the this is not the first time I've heard about this, but it was the first of I've ever seen it so will demonstrate the trade of the violence that could happen. And in this is a big part of this story is that there was so much violence that, as Carmen this this disease took over Carmen not Mr. just directed to you. Let me know she's violence in general and so did you find out yes you been able to process. Looking back, before we get into the meat of the story. Did you find out why there's so much violence with early onset of the from from what I understand from the doctors. This is kind of like a inside the Brenneman observation. There's so many things that they want to do what's coming up as building is a frustration level is very hard frustration around that's when they lash out and they always have some kind of a security net and invisible security net around them. You might've seen some of that and I want to give away some of the scenes in the movie but there were, as it was a couple things going wrong with that and when you when you get that security net I don't trust what you doing what you doing your I don't know you that sort of thing so annoy you the frustration and the paranoia and all these things, the disorientation and and so forth. As I was to see when you when you did the ice cream in the cupboard it out. They were to give that away too much. But there's a scene when you said that.

And she's not saying I must've forgotten.

She said I didn't do that right. That's a much different things that hey I forgot that I didn't do that. There's almost a belligerence there of. How dare you accuse me of something so crazy.

I do this.

This is not me that had been and can't be incredibly disorienting to you to hear that you want things to be.

So I forgot I had a senior moment that they but that's not what's going on with her what that these be the early onset Alzheimer's patient is always in some form of denial, especially if the spousal common just wanted to relate to me that wasn't I'm fine. I don't want you getting so upset about and why do you blame me for everything I didn't do that. That's one of things that they want to make sure you all okay don't worry about me I'm good. What are the things I do on this show is I spent a lot of time dealing with family members of alcoholics and addicts and that is a common theme among addicts and alcoholics. I'm fine.

There's nothing wrong with me but I heard one person say that alcoholism is an addiction is one of the few diseases out there that convinces you you don't have it and there seems to be some parallels with this, not because of a substance abuse but because of the way it affects the behavior which which is different. Say for example somebody like Tony Bennett or Peter would with with elderly people on it it it it's different from what I understand when they're in their 50s is that is that a fair assessment yes all you are by far far and so is you recipient of a lot of great deal of violence and in your potentially things that could could take take your life and that's why I said that the two points that the doctor was making okay you take care yourself and you have to learn that bad things can happen to you, and you need to be ready for and so it's it's what they did. You as a caregiver. I get that taken care of myself.

It's another thing to go to bed every night wondering if somebody could be standing over you ready to assault stab you hit you or whatever. That's a much different set of of of fear parameters if you will and I and you deal with it but it was something that you have the worm to live with for a while. The real difficult part was, not having anybody to be able to hire to work for your because our higher caregiver during the day so I could go to work and come home early and Dave her do all this and then the housekeeper would command and she would do the laundry and then they started to get punched around so they say how sorry smile that I and I like to help you but I just got hurt. Yesterday I got hurt again today and I got it all out here so you find someone, but really I don't know when wants to have your wife's case. So we went Alzheimer's daycare center where I can hire anybody anymore that an Alzheimer's day care center out here on the loan and so I put her in there was very expensive.

Nothing covered by insurance. Everything came out of my bank account and that went on for I guess about three months I was in a go to work for out and try to get back into that routine. Then she started to beat up people in the Alzheimer's and that's when the doctors came to me and said okay.

You look terrible.

Your heart rate is awful. Your blood pressure and she's fighting people.

You need to go into this cottage center for the antipsychotic drug medications to find out which cocktail mixture will work best for Carmen so I went to believe. Okay this is what I really mean that I got pretty excited. Somehow I picked all house. I went over I got it disjoint folks make it like a coming home party shall have these drugs and everything and then they tell me.

Sorry. You know what wheat we can tell you what to do, but we can say that if you do take your wife owned. These medications are not treatable at home. We can do it at 2024 seven care and not just completely destroyed DUI and a lot of people don't understand you when you get this level of violence okay will how bad could this be you. It could be very bad because she was otherwise physically healthy woman in her early 50s, so she was not a weakling au naturel and and so and then when you have the added component of of psychotic type behavior. These are these are terribly frightening things about you kids think that of the deal with this was basically paranoia at the time just at home.

There was no kids living at home there out there will around the country and going to college out of state so it was basically austere once more. My sons was in and out and he would help me out once in a while, but they were fearful as well.

They didn't want to see their mom Micah just broke your heart. It some as you've done this this movie and in in the book when you wrote this out when it will first of told you to write a book about who felt like that was this of that you came up with the people could see how you might like to sell. Now I just cannot. I have to get the story out there. Somehow, because I had no idea this even existed, and I found out on one of the guys on about that's behind schedule that it's been out there for a while but not enough.

And I said well people been alarm the need to burn it for me to write this book and you written anything before now I was at your corporate executive and never took any professional writing courses in all it was just kind of inactive and I was always a good business writer and I wrote some short stories and articles in there, thanks in the Congo business that I was in on the national professional drainage with other writing my first book it and if I don't knows of a letter I would've paid a lot more attention in class. If you let you know I graduated like you loudly you will and that but my manuscript Qubec was about ready get out of bed, stab, but you have you've read you really created something extraordinary here and where there are moments when you just gotta put your head down at the keyboard just sobbed. What was it like for you why I used. Actually, I would do some my work.

I did everything I yelled that I didn't do it on the keyboard and I would send it over to someone I would transcribe it to my other and I would know what was coming next. I would hit that one. She's okay you sending me anything this week and I went now given a week just as you don't sound well sisters I know what's coming next and I have to work on that. I have to get myself meant to be together to begin to write that for you and you see what I mean when you she's okay and I would take my time pace around a little bit and do anything for couple days and I'd say okay let me sit down and actually have a little glass one and off I went and I would get to those really taught the ones that you see when you read the book. What did you do after you wrote that down. Had you decompress, rinse and paint the seeds in my own life and I know that I had to go out in decompress after this, what did you do I really I can't really say I did II decompress by going going were going to my job as a full-time basis and I'm really getting into it and I was traveling to China very exciting position to throw myself into the work is my formal, decompressing. I did go out and party and take vacations.

I am a while back I started doing martial arts, and that really helped me a lot. You've heard of the shogun.

I've shown this disc of its I got from Long Island has risen from south your letterhead at this because I live in Montana now but still try to figure out my southern exit out here so I hope you hope it's coming through with you. I am. I watch this unfold that you had creative control over the.

The movie, so there was an element of realism that you were able to make sure that it didn't get away from the did they didn't try to make it a nice tidy bow because I don't like movies like that that have a nice we just were just retired everything to get that that's a lesson escape is a mimetic comedy or whatever. This didn't have a nice tidy bow.

This is a this is it it it's almost like here it is deal with this and and it's not an entertaining movie in the sense of even though it is so well done and the guy that played you to begin is it Dana or Dale Asper data about that outside data. Forgive me for that. If you watch this.

Forgive me for that. Just know that you did a spectacular job we gather played your father love that scene with you and your dad there it was in the hospital and I'm not give anything wet but at that. Was I love that, and I was talking to Buddy, but as soon as I finished with a text message.

He's one of my closest friends are set up what you promised me that you could watch this the next 40 get up early morning wash to the city just wrecking just for coffee because he just taking care of his dad through outsiders who passed away and I he said it was what he said I've never seen anything like this where the story the acting and the directing were all beautifully done and in the end we both reference the scene with your dad who was quite a character. Yeah, I was at a fairly accurate representation of him in the mood. It was an accurate assessment of wasn't my dad was my grandfather in real life, but we didn't want my grandfather died at 98, so we didn't know what to do with Tobin Bell X take it down a notch with make up my dad at the captain's office. Still, the sentence how well he was he was rich and that I will not see my will that that was a great scene and and I think that the audience is going really appreciate that and love that because it it again. He didn't feel this need to wrap it all up a nice package.

It is what it is at this a long time ago a friend gave me a great piece of advice as I was struggling as a caregiving, said look, it is what it is and and another time he told me he said, learn to learn to make friends with ambiguity and that I thought there some real meat to that because I don't have to know everything I don't have to get this all figured out. I'm not that I have the answers that I want to have and that's okay. It's all right. I will want to ask you a couple of just I'm just throw these things out to you just find you such a fascinating individual and end of a word were to mail caregivers who care for wife and and your wife is is since passed away but but you I died. This is this bond that we have is is husbands, love your wives there and were not flawed individuals who are doing the best we can with an impossible situation, but I heard this quote that about hope and despair, and despair is when you have this you are absolutely convinced of how this is going to end and that is not in well you actually convinced of and hope is when you don't know quite how this is going in that we all know when you get the diagnosis of Alzheimer's.

This is not been in well for the patient that there's there's that unknown of this doesn't have to end for Pat and Ito.

There was that hope that you are going to be able to have a meaningful life and become a richer person through this process, there is that hope that you could is not guaranteed likes that we could lose to patients for the sake but there is that hope that you can and that's that's what happened to you. I talk about that a little bit because you have gone on to live.

You survived it and not only survived but you gone on now to do something extraordinary talk little bit about that growth process with you through this. Will that you no wonder things that you said is hope and if you lose hope you lose everything. See Kannan never really let that girl that was your little piece to hold onto forever. Until that final breath came going through this, you know, my friends, the man's aggressive you know Carmen is really at this point in time, a vegetable and wanted to come out with this.

Let's have a couple beers you know I have others couple women. Melamed will introduce you to be nothing more than maybe having dinner with that kind of thing. But you really have to get up, take a little breathing. Stop thinking of your future you have to do it so I some good friends that come up with me in that direction and I'm not something I really needed it now then so I got there and that it did you win when she died, yes, where was your headspace in that moment when you realize okay this is this is now over and knew it was coming. You know you hadn't had any kind of relationship with her in some time. Even though you saw her but that she did. She couldn't she was that she was like that she was.

She was non-functioning. What was it like for you it was a great part of main computer that said, thank God it's over because I didn't want to see her like that. No muscle atrophy with our fingers will bend them complete vegetable laying in the chair.

You can feed her anymore by bio utensil and that's not the way, and would want to be seen and that she had for 12 years. This was just all way over the top so there's a part of me that you said I'm really going. Glad this is over.

That's how I really felt sensibly. Did you have these friends.

It helped you get out support. Did you have a core group around you that just just stuck with you that that band of brothers around you. Did you have those kinds of relationship that would that would not be afraid of the trauma perspective the trauma dysuria, but would not be afraid to talk to you with blunt force truth in him and I know you're from Long Island so you being blunt in the from Long Island I think are mutually of those are not that but you still gotta have people that respect the trauma the tree but at the same time will speak truth to your heart in a did you have those kinds of relationships and if I did, how important really why I did have those. I was very lucky to have those I know those followers today gals and guys and that that meant a lot to me that they were they were there for me.

They were almost have to go through this alone. It was difficult enough once, one of the nursing care to level on in that house all the memories of that are you can still your kids running up and down stairs thing so they had a kind of drag me out of the once they did the support was just there for man.

I rule out when it really started to get get better I realize how bad I needed but yet they would have really good group will is the reason I ask is you know and I do the show and I and I interact with caregivers all over the country and in so many of them are trying to white knuckle this thing by themselves and caregivers suffer from three eyes, we lose our independence we become isolated and we lose our identity.

We just we just lose ourselves in someone else's thought. We do not speak in first person singular anymore. We go to that facial how you do it well.

We had a bad night Hugo, I well she's not doing too well and are out there was a scene in the movie where the doctor basically cut a called you on that because of it. I don't know how accurate that particular character was for the position that the I guess he was a neurologist yes to anything. I wrote you yeah and I don't. That was a compilation of several physicians, but you don't ask you how you doing and you cut a spout off the standard caregiver reply you Noel were doing this with her that you know she said it was my medical diagnosis.

You look like crap.

And in those are important things to hear. How was that for you to hear that. Were you able to we able to hear that and and process what she was saying to you when I first heard it. I became very angry being who you tell me I'm Pat Moffat that's my wife.

I know what I'm doing okay all get through this okay. I don't don't don't hit me with all your medical stuff. I know how I feel. You just wouldn't give up the ghost to do it and then when I began to think about over a couple days about what you said about how I felt. Then it started to sink in a little bit better so that's what I really understood what was happening to me. I have had people get into my face about that and it is hard. It's very hard but it is so important in and III respect anybody was the courage to tell somebody like you and somebody like me would you perform the people were very confident people lot. Caregivers are were very until people caregivers are high functioning multitaskers, but we do need to hear those kinds of hard truths of say look do this is not working out for you and and it's it's time for you to take it step back a member know if in months and look she has a Savior you ate that Savior and and that's hard to hear.

It is as painful really wants to hear it, but as it is about cohesive the truth will set you free but is go to PCL 1st of you write that would doubt they'd take that would to the bike and it does did the truth that set you free. But it really got in your chromatid going out and buying by far the mail because I was there. This is a lot are in sickness and in health, and here I am okay this is my job on the husband I have to do this and I'm going to do it kills me.

No matter if it kills the ghetto and it of other diseases you have. If you have cancer, you have a chemo you have a treatment you know there's there's always a realistic scientifical medical help. Here you know going in its own when it starts that's only the only ending we see right now will and and and that brings me to where you are because that that that's that that's the one variable in this. Yes, it is over. The moment you get this diagnosed you know where this is going to go for the patient, the variable is where to go to go for the caregiver and you have shown in this in this movie this book in your life. In this interview today with me that that there is that variable is incredibly important. Where did it go for Pat and for Pat yet. I was people you got the scars yourself, your heart will always bear the scars of what this did to you but at the same time I look at the line of people behind you who were able to walk a little easier on the trail that you cut through a very dense forest and height. I hope that that brings you a sense of real purpose and mission and and and even comfort and peace and encouragement in this because it's it's important that it really is to know that you have done something for so many that you never see me you never going to be able to see all the people that you have touched through this thing, but there but they got up there to see you the feel the work that you've done in at just like my buddy in Connecticut who was watching this you never to be discussed, but I guarantee he's never to forget you all now that my dear is there is. Let's hope these caregivers get through the stuff there was a time for QuickStart have all the time listed is patient is you been with me while I go to this technical stuff and I would double check to make sure this thing recorded afterwards.

We got all the time you want that you're snowed in New York right now is what 2 feet of snow. Oh yeah, I braced you when I write. We had a caregiver group that I take out about once a month before: anyway and it's about 12 or 13 people all caregivers owing on said caregivers men and women and it's all spousal and woman came at night and sat in a chair almost in front of where my main seat was right to do the speaking with two social workers that went with me all the time and they said since we have new faces here tonight everybody just go around and say who they are. We come from and what kind of what patient you have is a fellow dementia, you will one of the others, any of the other types of member they all Alzheimer's or dementia patient was forever dementia related things so they said this woman.

She said my name is Martha so-and-so and she said I came in for one reason and so I got on scene now as I listen to Lee's people. This is where I belong.

But it wasn't my intention to come here for that went into the computer was to see Pat Moffat and thank him for saving my life. Peter, the tears just dripped down my face I wasn't ready for this all night. It was anybody else, and she said I was at the end of my rope. It was over for me. I couldn't watch my husband just deteriorate like this in front of me. I wanted to end my life. I just want and my and she said I picked up ice cream in the club and I ran and she said I set up the can do this I can do this to and she said it raised me up. That's why drove 40 miles tonight is to say that now I'm just happy to be and I was stunned that that that I reach one person that maybe saved her life will I think you've done more than that, Pat.

I really think you have few few profoundly affected me and that's like should have been doing them in my 35th year of dealing with this is a caregiver not the same circumstances you dealt with very much different. But I just I was. I was deeply moved and Gracie would say is my wife and she tell you, you know, I was that she came she came out was like the last almost 1050 minutes of the movie like you gotta just leave you logistically see it was really bad.

I was like yeah like I just I was just going to the bathroom right but I said I got it. I looked at it. I had tears what I said I gotta respect this man's trauma is what he's doing is he's giving us insight into something that is just tearing people apart. It's so important for us to know this. I don't know that I Had told you this is the movie I want to recommend to everybody to watch and I want to recommend no one to watch because I know little cost of the sea, but I do know that the people need to see this and it it's a social workers need to see a pastor's needs. Clergy then ever counselors anybody that is anyway associated with intersecting people who go to do this. Need to see it. I think almost so if you're going through this acutely right now and I will say this to my listeners.

If you're going through this and it is a spouse, particularly, I would not recommend seeing this alone. I would recommend seeing this with a trusted friend or somebody who could just comfort you and hold you through this movie because if you see this by yourself. It may be, it may be so, it it it may cut so deeply with you that he would want to have somebody just just a trusted friend to hold your hand Barbie when Benihana and bring a trusted friend went to visit our know you you really cut and then that I think that's kind of the whole point, because let me just say this to do list or for just a minute. You can trust Pat in this movie with your pain. Okay you can you can trust Pat with you because he understands and he respects and as you watch this story unfold and you see yourself in this please know that you really can't trust him. He's not going to take you into a place where there is no hope. But he he he is going to paint a realistic picture so that you have a better way of expressing what's going on with you and that you know that you're not alone in and it's it is not that misery loves company is just that we were not as you know this person, John Milton said this, the first thing that God said that was not good was that man was alone in a lesser first lease that that was before the fall. Go back and look it up in Genesis a gusset taste.goodies alone. We should not be alone. And if you're caring for somebody who's going through this or anything like this with this with whether such intensity like this is not good for you to be alone. Pat demonstrates this.

In this movie in this book and and that's why did it so that you would know that you're not alone, that there other people got this. You don't have to just keep all this bottled up inside of you had did you ever go and get any type of counseling for yourself. Yes. After that I went when I when I found out that she wouldn't be coming home anymore which is a course of one of the key scenes with Dana Asper. I went home. I think I cried for seven hours straight. I was just historical at work on the house. I was planning a little welcome home sort of party and it was over that day there was no going back was molested back tomorrow and talk about it again.

It was over that day and I walked into my doctor's office just a general practitioner with a pair of shorts and sandals and a T-shirt on a house was a well-dressed, executive, and I when I went to see him. I said I need to sit down and when Lisa come right in a nice.I need to get some help.

I don't know anything about therapist or psychologist so I need to talk, and communicates with lukewarm and he fixed me up that afternoon fill me in to see somebody and I stayed with them for all time. How important was it to you.

Clinical professional help critically important. I started to see myself on the outside looking back in again the point I want to make to do listeners there because here's here's this guy was a very strong, successful, bright, articulate, no corporate executive is raising his hand, is a duck. I got have some help and in and if if if Pat Moffat can do that.

So can each of us and raise her hands and say we gotta get some help. I want to pivot just little bit in the last few minutes of closing you after Carmen passed away. You started building a new life and you you you you met a lovely lady.

You've remarried.

Would you would you said your vows to her death that that had to be a moment for you had to be a moment for you when you got to the point were said you know sickness. It is felt that had to be a moment, wasn't it was because II think I was married very landmark after Vietnam marriage and the rest of the year, but those are just words that were okay you read this in a new reduce of any but the ring and the ring there was almost like a standard operational and then of course having to deal with, and the years I started to report back; while those words as I was watching a movie and remove the some of the words of myself when I said those words tomorrow in my present one.

It was just I said them so slow and so meaningful and I got 100 know I really mean this you are planning your flag in that particular hillfort you now absolutely blessed thoughts that you want to share with with whatever's on your heart Pat you you you you cannot know what a blessing you been to me today and I've had so grateful that you're stuck in a snowstorm. You have everything else to do through the whole idea is what it all started out to be people like you are helping me right now. By doing this, some caregiver going to pick up on this if I can just help one person that's going to get by little bit saying while I know I think I should do now. I learned something. So, as always, I'm teaching in somebody's running on how the guy that will sit in beautiful.

I cannot stress enough how important this is for fellow caregivers to check this this book out in this movie out is called ice cream in the cupboard and D did. But I do have an audiobook of this as well know, I've been I've been actually funny you should mention that impressed to do an audiobook. I'm considering it and a couple people heard me speak on stage that were at the premiere of the film along and I said you should do your only book you don't need an actor your voice is the right pitch to do this and you didn't think so. I said well maybe I will. I would concur with that. I don't see any reason why you need it in its know it's a little laborious and maybe one of those things is kinda painful to go back and as you say these lines again and and so forth. But I think you be great for people to hear that in your in your voice and so I would.

I would highly encourage you to do that in and when you do let me know will tell people about it as well. The movie is is spectacular last?

Then we gotta go here but less? When you you've not been in the movie business.

I soon never prior to this so how was that for you was at was at was at a fun experience. Did you enjoy just the. The logistics of the film business and am enjoying it now more than I did at the beginning it was a real learning curve because I was really my league from the international trade industry being in China are not always on and coming into entertainment. I know a lot about them.

I wanted on those and then I go to the movies so it will. It was a big, big carbon getting to know these characters and how that the mechanics of how things work was a big learning curve a little more comfortable now that I was really really stressed Dr. very stressed out to three years ago. Well it was it was it was well done. I don't know who I can forgive me for not really who helped you with the screenplay, or anything but well done director did a good job due is not giving away anything but at the beginning when you first met Carmen in your in that the seafood shack. Wherever this place is in the got the keyboard that I love that scene with the with her stepson at the keyboard and did he really play time in a bottle and I actually owe all my guys the millennial's my crew and I solicited all I want I want this couple to dance together. I I'm out here. We have no music. I suggest put them in a slow dance.

I told the director. I said I'll figure out the music so IT says, well, can I ask you what you had in mind he's only 20 acres. All the director fabulous guy and he symbolizes what I have time in a bottle by Jim Crow Jesus all my Commonwealth and we danced while Johnny went to want to know what from what you hope they had no idea who this guy was.

It's a good thing I did mention to CCR 20 they would've really had their heads blown out our event My black eye wound up getting an attorney doing all the applications and the Croce family came back to BMI and authorize me that they were very sensitive to Alzheimer's as well and authorize me there one time use of the of the music that's all got in that that that is spectacular because you couldn't have picked a better song for you to open up the thing with that in and then as a pianist, I gotta tell you, whoever did the panel work on it at the particular, the very end that this was not beautiful, beautiful jobs if you talk to them just just just please mention it was just gorgeous and edits. It was just a delight ice cream in the covered Pat Moffat and you can go to Pat Moffat.com this to F's to tease Pat Moffat.com learning from a crime free on it for Amazon prime guys. It yeah it it's free on it. Watch it with a trusted friend. If you're in the middle of this right now and if you are a social worker, counselor, clergy, or anything else watch it you know it.

If you're easily offended by salty language. Get over it because you know you when you're caregiver through some of these things you just gonna have to just deal with because it's it just get over it's it's a it is well worth the time and I'm very, very, very grateful for the time that I had here today with Pat, my brother really love my interview with Pat and I felt like it would be appropriate to and with a song. This is something that I wrote and Gracie sings you heard earlier coming in from the break and I love her voice and this is a sound that is very special to me a ride with a friend of mine in Nashville but them unlock this cut.

I can only hold you now and I thought you might enjoy hearing this on the tail end of this conversation I had with Pat.

You know it's it's a tough journey that we have as caregivers and we need to hear stories like Pat and we need to hear from people who've been there done that and they've made it through and it cleared a path for us and I'm just very great hope this one is paying a one of our generous sponsors here. The Truth Network has come under fire fire from the enemy fire for standing up for family values. Actually one of the biggest supporters of the movie unplanned that talked about the horrors of abortion. Yes, it's Mike Lindell.

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