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Are You Ready for the End?

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
July 21, 2020 11:42 am

Are You Ready for the End?

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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July 21, 2020 11:42 am

While I had to step away with unexpected caregiving duties, American Family Radio general manager, Jim Stanley, filled in for me on this special edition of HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER. 

Jim brings his considerable understanding of the caregiver's journey to the conversation and asked the question, "as caregivers ...are we ready for the end?"  Not just our loved ones', but for ourselves as well?

Hard topic, great calls ...and it's a part of our lives and journey as caregivers. 


Peter Rosenberger is the host of HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER.  The nation's #1 broadcast and podcast show for family caregivers, Peter draws upon his 34+ year journey as a caregiver for his wife, Gracie, through a medical nightmare that includes 80+ surgeries, multiple amputations, and treatment by 100+ physicians. 

Learn more at




Hope for the Caregiver
Peter Rosenberger
Hope for the Caregiver
Peter Rosenberger
Hope for the Caregiver
Peter Rosenberger
Hope for the Caregiver
Peter Rosenberger
Hope for the Caregiver
Peter Rosenberger

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Call 866-WIN-ASIA or to see chickens and other animals to donate, go to Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver on American Family Radio. This is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver.

There are more than 65 million Americans right now who are putting themselves between a vulnerable loved one and even worse disaster. I mean, it could be Alzheimer's. It could be autism. It could be addiction. Whatever the chronic impairment, there's always a caregiver. How are you feeling?

How are you doing? What's going on with you is the whole theme of this show. It's not that we're not interested in your loved one. We're interested in you.

Because if you go down, what happens to your loved one? And that's why we do this show and we're glad that we're on American Family Radio. 888-589-8840. 888-589-8840. I am Peter Rosenberger and I am your host.

I'm glad you're with us. I've been a caregiver myself for 34 years and I've learned a few things along the way. A lot of hard things. Nobody ever wipes their brow and say, whew, I learned that the easy way. You know, that's just not the way it works. And as caregivers, we have a relentless set of challenges that we deal with and we want to speak into that with as much clarity as we possibly can here on this show and also bring the strong understanding of the biblical worldview and what does God say about all these things? What does scripture say? There's no place in scripture I've seen that covers what a guy that's taking care of his wife for all these years like I have and 80 surgeries, both of her legs amputated and all these things. There's no place in scripture where it says, okay, here's what you do next.

But scripture's filled with the crux of the whole thing, which is the heart matter, of the anger, of the fear, of the guilt, of the obligation, of the resentment. And that's what this show covers is dealing with all those things so that we can navigate safely through all these various circumstances we deal with. I'm joined this morning by Jim Stanley. Now, two years ago, I went to Jim and I proposed my idea of doing a show for caregivers. We kicked around a lot of things. He did a background check on me, fingerprints, blood work. There was all kinds of things that he did.

And yet I still passed. And Jim said, here's the thing, what he said just before we went on the air. Jim, what are you, the program manager, the grandpupa, the head man, the big cheese, the top dog, number uno?

Any or none of that applies at any given time. I'm general manager. General manager at American Family Radio. Okay, now here's what Jim said just before I went on the air. Now, Jim was accusing me of not remembering all the other things, but I remembered this, Jim. These are the words he gave me just as that, you know, that mentor support, encouragement. Jim has that real gift of exhortation. And he said, this is either going to be a brilliant move or an unmitigated disaster. I told him, I said, Peter, you're either going to make me look really smart or someone else will be in this chair. And I thought, you know, that's the kind of encouragement people need before they go on the air.

Oh, it's not real, brother. It's radio. Jim is sitting in with me today. I wanted to introduce him to you all.

He's going to guest host for me shortly. And for this week and next week, as I take care of some things with my parents in South Carolina, I'm going to fly back from Montana's first time I've been on a plane since the whole Corona thing. But I lived with my wife who had the coronavirus for several weeks and she got over it. She she punched through it and I, I never got it. And they were certain I would get it. And they said, well, you must be some kind of caregiver. And my wife said, yes, that's right.

He is some kind of caregiver. And didn't you tell me that Gracie was one of the first cases in Montana? She was. And she was the first case in our county. Right. Now, granted, there's only four people in our county.

No, I'm just kidding. But it's a we live in a very remote area. But we had to go to Billings for a prosthetic appointment. And so we think that's where she got.

We're not sure because they haven't officially told us exactly where she got it. But there were only finite places we went. But Montana has been practicing social distancing since eighteen eighty nine. Right. It's our state motto out here. So y'all go home is what it is.

But it's so I'm going to get on a plane to do that. And Jim's going to to talk with you guys and take your calls and so forth over the next two Saturdays. But Jim and I share a lot of similar journeys.

I mean, you know, when you when you've been in relationship with people who are chronically impaired, he dealt with both of his parents going through cognitive impairment, through dementia and Alzheimer's, and his mother through diabetes lost her legs. But Jim's been involved also in ministry, elbows deep in ministry for a long time and understands this. Why shouldn't American Family Radio be the premier place for a show for the family caregiver? And I think we've made a pretty good case that this show on this network is the tip of the spear when it comes to ministering to the family caregivers. We are we are committed to it.

The family is in the middle name of American Family Radio. So we wanted to reach out with a different kind of program. It's not a place to call and just kind of commiserate and just say, woe is me. It's a place to unload some of these burdens. And as scripture says, we share one another's burdens. We bear one another's burdens. This is what it looks like to to help come along each other and point each other to Christ. I come from the mindset that we caregivers don't need a lot of instructions, but we need a lot of reminders.

And then Jim, I wanted to ask you this. I've had a long standing belief and it's a belief on mine. It's not a fact because I haven't lived it, but that for caregivers, the heartache, the challenges, the stress, sometimes the damage of the journey doesn't end at the funeral or when the grass is growing on the grave. It'll extend long beyond that. And there's a need for healing for the caregiver long after the burial. Is that a fair statement? I think so.

I think it's one of the things. And to mention about the program, you know, as we were starting it two years ago, one of the things that we had to overcome was the time, you know, 7 a.m. on Saturday morning. And then that happened quickly because what was happening is folks all over the country were finding out they weren't alone in their struggle as a caregiver. They were no longer on an island by themselves, but they could hear someone like them being ministered to or even calling in themselves and being ministered to. But, Peter, you know, we've had a couple of calls where folks have, you know, the spouse or the person they had been giving care to passed away.

And it was still several years that healing was going on because they were finding things, pockets of things that had been, you know, perhaps repressed and they were finally able to let go of some of that. I know that, you know, Father's Day was not too long ago and it was my wife. She still missed her dad and Will. You know, as we look at the anniversaries that Eleanor and Charles, that's my in-laws, will no longer have together. And Eleanor still, and I say this because everyone in the family knows it, but she's still walking through some grief.

But she's doing a lot better. But the grief is still there because she had someone that she had spent 55 years of her life with, I think, is how long they had been married. And so, you know, Peter, that's real.

That's, you know, I was joking earlier about real life being on radio. But when you think of having to have carried someone literally sometimes or cared for someone for many years, then you go with them to the grave and sometimes there's the guilt of a little relief that, one, that person is no longer suffering. But, two, sometimes it's the fact that you, as a caregiver, are looking forward to some rest. And so there's a double whammy there.

There is. And I think a lot of caregivers also start replaying tapes in their mind. It shows how old I am to use the word tape. But they replay these things and saying, you know, I should have done this or I should have done that or I wish I'd done that. And one of the things I wanted to do on this show was to help wade into those kinds of topics and make sure that caregivers knew a path to safety of where they could go and land and be at peace with this and let the grace of God cover them and trust Christ even with the things we wish we had have done, knowing that he who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it to the day of Christ Jesus. And so that's the purpose of this show. And we're so glad that you're with us listening. And, Jim, thank you for being a part of this. And if you want to be a part of the show, 888-589-8840. 888-589-8840. This is Peter Rosenberger.

This is Hope for the Caregiver. We'll be right back. Here on American Family Radio, I'm Jim Stanley, and I am sitting in for Peter Rosenberger this morning.

We'll be taking your phone calls in just a bit and I'll give you the number at that time and we'll kind of go from there. But first, I wanted to share some scripture with you. What I want us to think about this morning, and I know the program is Hope for the Caregiver, but one of the things I want us to think about this morning as we alluded to as we were going into the break, what happens when your loved one dies? What happens when they go home to be with the Lord?

Where does that leave you? Well, we were talking about the grieving process and how sometimes that grieving takes years because there's just pockets of things that are around that you may run into. There are things that you may have posted on Facebook and, you know, Facebook brings those memories back. And I know that yesterday, for those of you familiar with AFR and J.J. Jasper, yesterday was the anniversary of Cooper's passing and it's been 11 years since Cooper went home to be with the Lord. And so, we want you to understand that it's one of those things, and I know that there were remembrances there that J.J. had mentioned and Melanie had mentioned. And so, I want you to be in prayer for them. Randy Lucious, one of our staff members, his mom went home to be with the Lord day before yesterday. So, I want you to remember them in prayer.

I want you to remember the loved ones in your church, the loved ones in your congregation that have had loved ones go home to be with the Lord. It's tough. It's tough when you walk into that.

It's tough when you begin to walk through that. And so, these things are there. Life is real and we live that together. And so, the scripture I want to share with you, and I'm sure you've heard it before, and it says, Dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died, so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.

For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. And so, we don't live without hope. We don't live without that hope.

We don't live with nothing. We know that there's better to come. We know that that loved one that has struggled and suffered, that there's better to come. But what we don't know is in that instance, when that loved one dies, we may not be prepared for what's next. And in America, we have one of the best health care facilities across the country from around the world.

We have some of the best medical practitioners. And, you know, it's one of those things that they may have given great comfort and great care to your family member. But then when that family member passes, you're not their patient.

The survivors aren't their patient. They want you to begin to transition is the term that they call. And so they want to know what mortuary you plan to use. They want to know what.

And then the mortuary, of course, they want to know what kind of service you want to have. And all of these things hit you like a ton of bricks. All of these things hit you unexpectedly. Sometimes it may be a sudden death. It may be a loved one that has had a lingering care issue and you know it's coming.

But nothing prepares you for that moment when the heart stops, when the breath stop. And then it's time to understand that if you're in the hospital, you're not a patient anymore, that your loved one now is basically occupying a bed. And I have seen that handled beautifully by some hospitals. And I have seen it handled tragically by others where there's a rush for you to have someone to come and take the body. And like I said, you're not their patient.

And so it's hard for them. And please hear me if you are a caregiver. And I mean that if you are a nurse or you're a doctor, I'm not placing this blame on you. If you're a hospital administrator, I'm not placing this blame on you.

Some of your folks do a great job. And I think sometimes the impact of the death of the loved one is a reminder to the hospital staff that it could have been one of their loved ones. And that's why they don't want to see the grieving. They don't want to see the initial grief. They don't they want you to take in.

And as I said, the term begins then to transition. And so you as a caregiver, what have you got planned for that? Do you have the burial insurance, as they call it? Do you have life insurance or death insurance, as some call it? I'm fortunate to work here at AFA. And because of being part of a group policy here, I get insurance that I would not be able to get otherwise to the level of insurance. Let me say that I can get I'm able to get it here because, of course, we buy with our employee plan. And that's very helpful to me. And so I know that when I pass, Lord willing, and if I'm still remained in employment of AFA, then the insurance will cover that cost. That's something they won't have to worry about. But I know that it's one of those things that we as caregivers ultimately have to walk through and it helps for it to walk through it together.

The number this morning is 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. Doesn't sound like a fun show, but it's one of those things that we have to come to grips with. And I'm not asking you to call and beat up on a hospital or beat up on a doctor.

That's not the purpose. If you if you have walked through this, I want you to call to help me explain to others what that journey is going to be like. We're not going to beat up on caregivers this morning. We're not going to beat up on the on the hospital staff or the emergency crews, because let me tell you, those folks do an incredible job. And as we look at what's going on with this COVID situation, we have some staff members that have family in Memphis, Mississippi, who are Memphis, Mississippi. My word, Memphis, Tennessee. I haven't had enough coffee yet this morning.

Peter makes me get up early, but I have we have staff members who have friends and family that work up there. And they say the hospital in Memphis is beginning to be inundated with COVID patients. And so they need prayer because they're being pushed to their limits. And here in America and around the world, I'm sure there has been a vast number of pressures and different anxieties and things felt because of that.

And it's one of those things that you can see the another death tick off, another death tick off. Well, folks, there are families that have that loved one that may have gone home to be with the Lord. And let me tell you, the most important thing you can do is if you have a family member that doesn't know Jesus, you need to let them know about Jesus soon.

You need to let them know about Jesus today because we're not promised tomorrow. You know, we read in scripture that life is but a vapor and a vapor is just a mist. One moment it's there and the next moment it's gone.

It's a change in the atmosphere that makes that happen. Well, for us as caregivers, we need to be sure that we are prepared for that, that we're ready for that. Well, as I mentioned, my name is Jim Stanley. The program's hope for the caregivers and caregiver and sitting in for Peter Rosenberger this morning. You know, in the two years that Peter's been on, we've done a couple of best jobs. And now today I have the privilege to sit in for him and I'll be with you next week as well.

I'll try and choose a more happy topic, if you will. But because of the conversation Peter and I had regarding the program this morning, I felt that it was good to go on to that next step and kind of help prepare you as a caregiver for what happens when the loved one goes home to be with the Lord. An average funeral in America can cost between seven and twelve thousand dollars and more.

That's the national average across the country says seven to ten thousand dollars. And folks, I want you to understand, even if you spend as much as ten thousand dollars, there is instances where you could have spent another ten. And let me remind you, too, the funeral isn't for the loved one.

It's for the survivors. And that's why we want to do as much as we can. And again, there are some great folks that work for funeral homes that listen to AFR and we're grateful for them.

But there are also folks that are in it for the business. And you have to be careful of which funeral home you choose because they will push you to get the top of the line casket. And I'm not saying your loved one doesn't deserve that.

Please hear my heart. But what I'm saying is that you have to understand the costs that are going to be involved with that. And it's not just the casket, it's the flowers.

It's the whole, again, you know, we talk about transitioning. It's the cost of moving the loved one from the hospital to the mortuary. It's if you decide you want to have the funeral at a church rather than the chapel there at the funeral home, there's a cost involved with that. There's a cost involved with transporting the loved one to the resting place and then the flowers and different things there. Did you know that the simple casket spray that goes on top of the casket, those things can cost as much as $1,200 or more.

And so there is a lot of cost involved with that. And again, I'm not saying your loved one's not worth it. I'm just saying be ready because when you walk into these places, when you have to walk in and make those arrangements, it's like you're blindsided. And it's not the intention necessarily of the funeral home folks or the flower folks. You're just not ready for those expenses, at least with a wedding. And I know I'm going from one extreme to another, but at least with the wedding, you get to add those costs up well in advance. So you're preparing for that. But when it comes to end of life, there's no preparation. Even if, like I said, even if you know the loved one was sick and they were perhaps dying, it's one of those things that as it happens, as you begin to walk through that, you're just kind of blindsided.

And so you've got to be careful about that. Well, as I mentioned, I am Jim Stanley sitting in for Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver on American Family Radio, 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840 is the number to call. And Laban, we'll get to your call as Hope for the Caregiver continues on AFOR. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you? I'm Gracie Rosenberger, and in 1983, I experienced a horrific car accident leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs, led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio.

I'm Jim Stanley sitting in for Peter Rosenberger this morning, and the number to call is 888-589-8840. I want to remind you our scripture this morning comes from 1 Thessalonians the 4th chapter and verse 13. And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died, so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with Him the believers who have died.

We tell you this directly from the Lord. We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet Him ahead of those of those who have died. For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout and the voice of the archangel. And with the trumpet call of God, first the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then together, we with them who are still alive and remain on earth will be caught up into the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words. And there are times that we need to be encouraged, especially when a loved one passes. It's one of those things that, again, like I said, I don't think we're completely prepared for it. Regardless of how much preparation we do, there's always that moment, the literal moment when they go home to be with the Lord.

Sometimes, oftentimes, most times that's a very shocking realization and we have to remember what we're doing. Well, let's go to the phones as promised. 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. And let's talk to Laban now calling in from Kansas. Laban, good morning and welcome to Hope for the Caregiver. Good morning and thank you. Yes, I just I don't need to take up a whole lot of air time, but I wanted to confirm that you've done good when you got this show going.

My wife had a slight stroke about 10 years ago, and so she doesn't drive and other limitations, but we're both pushing 70. And so sometimes she feels like she's my caregiver, too. And so this show has just been such a good thing to kind of keep the rudder steady and just have a lot of good things to consider as we face our senior years. And then so I just want to thank you and and I won't I won't. Well, Laban, before you go, before you go answer a question for me now, I'm very grateful for what you said. Please understand that.

And I agree. I think that Peter does a magnificent service to our listeners and we're grateful for that. But he would scold me if I didn't ask you this question. How are you doing this morning?

Yeah, he he zeroes in on that. And so I'll applaud you for asking that question to do it. OK, I'm I'm overloaded. We bought a house a couple of years ago so that we could move to town and from the country which I wasn't keeping up with our acreage and it was getting overgrown and shameful.

And so we moved into a really old house that's a fixer upper. And so I'm kind of out of the frying pan into the fire. But, you know, just just tried to keep trying to keep going with that. And but but like I say, I I I really I feel like I'm I'm doing OK. Keeping realistic as far as what I need and and what I can do. And and so I'm not I don't feel overwhelmed. I'm also trying to work. I'm still doing the 40 hour week just to keep from having to take my Social Security any sooner than I have to.

And and so hopefully within the next year, in about a year, I'll I'll be able to retire that way. But but, you know, God, God, I just thank God for for keeping both of us going. We enjoy our time together.

And and so so keeping everything balanced. Well, let me let me ask you this. You mentioned that you're getting close to 70 and that you feel like sometimes your wife is your caregiver who gives you a break.

Who is there? Someone there in your family that gives you a break that will come in and let you have a couple of hours even. And I mean that because. And so and then also who gives your wife a break?

Yeah, yeah, really. Since I go to work every day, that's in a way kind of my break. She she's you know, she's she takes care of herself.

Totally during the day and at night. OK, but as far as as far as, you know, just. Cooking and cleaning and and. And like I say, driving right. I take care of most of that.

But anyway, so. So really, with this COVID thing, she needs a break more than I do. So so so so, you know, I we get out and take a drive and, you know, she's she is more uptight about getting the getting COVID than I am. But so she'll stay in the car. But we'll you know, when we have to go out of town, I'll get her.

Try to break some of her cabin fever. I understand. Yeah. All right.

Well, I say we go out for each other. Good. Well, I'm glad you called in this morning. Again, thank you for the kind remarks about the program. I know that I've enjoyed it when I when I've been in with Peter and then also when I've been had the opportunity to listen. And so we appreciate that. But also very good to hear that that things are going pretty good for you. I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. I think about that every day when I climb in my truck.

It's one of those things that I'm kind of like, Lord, let me make it a few more years so that how many how many plates can I keep spinning like the guy in the circus? Yeah, absolutely. All right. Well, God bless. And you have a good week here.

Thank you. You bet along Peter. I'm sure he's. Oh, yeah. He will review this program. I promise you.

Oh, no doubt. God bless. But talk to Justin now calling from Oklahoma. Justin, good morning and welcome to hope for the caregiver. Good morning, Jim. It's nice to be on here today.

Well, thank you. So how are you doing this morning? Oh, I'm doing pretty good. My wife and I stay pretty busy with our kids and our foster kids and my full time job as hospice chaplain.

And so I I we just we we stay really busy. Well, now, your work is as a hospice chaplain that you see some of these things that we've talked about this morning when a loved one, because if they're in hospice, they know that loved one's going to die. They may not know the day.

And so it does catch them, you know, even then, suddenly, even though they know it's coming. But you're probably seeing them. And let me say this. My father in law, we had some of the best hospice care workers you could have asked for.

My wife and my mother in law did nothing but brag on those ladies. And a couple of the nurses, even after he had passed, they came to check on Eleanor a couple of times and they didn't have to do that. And so I think I want you to know, I'm really glad that there are there are hospice workers because they begin to prepare them for the transition, don't they? They do.

They do. And that one of the things that I think God has done to help me in becoming a better hospice worker is the fact that I had to go through the experience with my family in April with my father. He had a sudden fall and his health rapidly declined. And then on April 13th, he passed away. And I was really calling because I wanted to kind of share, especially with other people going through with this COVID stuff. You know, my dad was 66.

I'm 36. We couldn't go into the hospital to see him when his health was declining. They only went.

I'm the middle of three kids. They only let us in when he was at the point where they knew he was going to be passing. And when I was there in the room with my brother and sister, I, of course, had been used to seeing, I guess, the process you would say when someone dies. So I knew what was going on with dad.

Logically, I knew it. But when it's your own father, it's a lot different than when you've been in with a family when their loved one's dying in hospice. Well, and so for you, it wasn't any easier for you because then your family had to begin working through that almost immediately.

And you're right. That's an aspect that I didn't think about when I was talking earlier is the fact that it's just recently that the hospitals have let a single person go in. And sometimes they still don't do that, especially as the numbers begin to rise again. But that's one of those things that that had to make it doubly hard for family members, because I know that we had a couple of friends who had someone die and they weren't able to go in actually at all. They they had to meet the body at the mortuary.

And so it was really tough for them. So let me ask you this, if you don't mind. And I've got another caller to triple eight, five, eight, nine, 80, 40. How do we can you hold on through the break?

Sure. OK, we're going to come back and continue to talk to Justin. Justin lives in Oklahoma, and they're one of the states that are seeing a rise in numbers as well.

My wife and I were talking about doing some vacation and we were looking around at the different states that we could actually go to. And so it's one of those things that right now there's a lot of limitations because of covid. And one of those limitations is even helping our loved ones go home to be with the Lord there in those final moments. This is hope for the caregiver on American Family Radio, Jim Stanley and for Peter Rosenberger.

And we'll be back right after this. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's I'm Gracie and I am standing with hope. That's the voice of Gracie Rosenberger. She is Peter's wife. And together they have the Ministry of Standing with Hope.

And you can find that complete project there as also at Hope for the caregiver dot com. Peter is quite an accomplished pianist. And so he doesn't say this about himself very often. He'll talk about his books. He'll talk about some other things, but he's quite the pianist. And he has a project there as well that you would probably enjoy if you'd like to go in and look at some of those resources. And of course, his books.

They're quite helpful. And so it's one of those things that he's not here. So I'll brag on him and let you know what a good guy he is and that he is sold out for Jesus. And he just simply wants to help you help your loved one better. Well, we're talking again to Justin from Oklahoma.

Triple eight five eight nine eighty eight forty triple eight five eight nine eight eight four zero. Justin, I appreciate you holding on through the break. And so I want to revisit if you don't mind. And I don't want to if you're not comfortable with this or please just say so. But when you were at the when you were at the hospital, you mentioned that you could not go in until they knew that your your dad was about to pass.

And you said you were the middle of three children. Yes, sir. Were you able and again, I know it's hard, but were you able to help your family grieve? Is it one of those things that are where you just overwhelmed in that moment? It was one of those moments where there was grief, but then kind of like some of the realizing that my my my two siblings have not experienced a lot of death. So it kind of kicked in.

I don't know. Maybe it's kind of a hospice chaplain kicking in. But when he when he passed, one of the things that I my dad, he was a very, very godly man, pastor. When I was caregiving for him, there wasn't a day that went by that I wouldn't go by his room and he wasn't listening to like Alistair Begg or some other preacher.

I mean, he loved the word of God and he loved Jesus. And so when he passed, there was that comfort, the fact that my my brother and sister, I knew that they aren't believers. And so I recognize that as well, too.

But one of the best moments we had was when he died. Dad's also Cherokee. And one of the things I do with a lot of my native patients around here in Oklahoma, because this is a state with a higher native population, is I know the Lord's Prayer in Cherokee. And so I and my dad was very, very proud Cherokee.

I'm sorry if I'm getting a little emotional, but, you know, I just grabbed his hand. And we said, you know, Dona Dago, which is until we meet again in heaven, which is in Cherokee. And so that was a wonderful moment. My sister was very thankful for that because the hospital chaplain was wasn't the best. And, yeah, so.

So, yeah, I answer shortly answer. Yeah, I got to minister to my my family. Well, Justin, having walked through that myself a couple of times, I understand that the Cherokee part.

But being with the family members there after the death, that's a that's a critical time, a crucial time. And you mentioned they're not believers. So let's hope that the seeds that you've sown and showed through your life do that. You may have heard me earlier talking about J.J. and Melanie. And I can I know that I've seen Jesus live through them because of how they've walked through the death of their little boy 11 years ago. And and I've been with J.J. I've been here 20 plus years now. And so I saw J.J. walk through that and I know him to be a man of God.

I've seen Melanie walk through that. And so we'll be praying for you as you continue to walk through that. And you pray for us here.

Thank you so much for calling and thanks for sharing. Absolutely. Thank you.

You bet. Bye bye. This is Hope for the caregiver on American Family Radio. I'm Jim Stanley sitting in for Peter Rosenberger this morning.

And I want to remind you again to go by standing with hope dot com or hope for the caregiver dot com. And and you'll find some of Peter's resources there as well as some of Gracie's music, too. Because, you know, Peter, Peter is an excellent guy and we miss him. I'm honored that he has allowed me to sit in for him today. And if you hear me next Saturday, then you'll know that he was OK with the program.

If not, you'll know I didn't do too well. But right now, let's talk to Alfonso calling from Texas. Alfonso, good morning and welcome to Hope for the caregiver. Good morning, Jim. Thanks for having me. I've always enjoyed the program and I've been listening for around a year or so. And I wasn't a caregiver then, but I'm about I'm about to transition into becoming a caregiver with my mom who recently fell down and broke a hip. And she's going to be getting out probably next week. So I will be transitioning into that role.

And it's going to be new, a little scared and probably just need some prayer. That's pretty much it. Well, Alfonso, let me ask you and again, I don't I never won a prize. So if I ask you a question you're not comfortable with, then you can say I'd rather not answer that. Sure. Are you married? Yes, I am. Do you have children at home?

None. OK. Are you going to bring your mom to your home to care to do the caregiving? That's correct.

I'm looking to probably do three weeks, but I have a feeling that it may be more. But as the previous listener was talking, I do not have the ability to go to the skilled nursing facility to see how she's doing, although she's told me she's doing OK. Right. But before she went into the nursing, I mean, to the skilled facility, she was already using a walker. And so I would imagine it's going to be that much more difficult.

OK, well, let's let's get real here for a moment. OK, you need to prepare your hallway. You need to prepare your restroom to help your mom. You need and you may have already done that. But as you said, you're moving into the caregiving role.

Those are some some they seem small, they seem incidental. But if you're if your mom, when she goes to use the restroom, she is not going to want to have to call you in there to help her get up off the toilet. And so those are some practical things. Make sure that there's take care of anything that she might trip on, because especially with a broken hip, she may.

And even if they've replaced the hip and she's on the walker, it's going to be a struggle for her. So make sure that the triple triple things are taken care of as you prepare your home. And again, you may already be working on that. You may have gone to Google and checked out how to care give.

But it's one of those things that those are some practical things that you can do now. And the reason I say that is because once your mom gets there, everything becomes different. Your wife is going to have to help. You're going to have to help.

You're going to have to tag team sometimes. And so I encourage you, even though it may be short term, to be ready for that. And like you said, it may even be longer because now, of course, since she's fallen once, you're going to be concerned about her falling again.

And so. But yes, sir, we will definitely be praying for you because, you know, you love your mom. How old is your mom? My mom is 87. She'll be turning 88 this year. So, you know, the hands or timer are working against her.

And it was a a hairline fracture, I want to say. But again, I don't want her to fall again, as you mentioned. And that's a big concern. And it really kind of just changes the entire dynamics of of everything in terms of, you know, when I was planning to retire, that might be pushed up here a little sooner. And again, a lot of unknowns. And it may be a long term caregiver role. I don't know.

And I guess those are some of the the unknowns that I don't know about that, you know, kind of put a little bit of concern in my mind. Right. Well, let me encourage you before your mom gets there and you said she should be coming home when? Within a week.

All right. Try and do something extra special for your wife because you want her to know that you love your mom, but you still love her because some of your attention now is going to be split. And so be ready for that. Help your wife be ready for that.

You guys get together and huddle and understand what the time constraints are going to be. You're still are you still working? Yes, I am. I'm 62. Your wife?

She's 60. OK, so you have to consider your work schedules and what's going to happen there. And so those are just some very real concerns.

And Alfonso, I'll tell you what. And folks, I know that I've got a couple of you on the line and I apologize that we're going to run out of program time. But, you know, we may carry this topic over to next weekend. And so I'll be thinking about that and take in Mary and Charlotte. You folks, if you would call if you'd call again next weekend.

But if you have a specific question, you can send that to me to Jim Stanley at AFR dot net. But Alfonso, let's pray in the time remaining that we have left. And I want to pray for you and your mom and your wife and as well as the other families that have called in and those who are walking through grief. Heavenly Father, we know today that you really are a good father, that you have promised us that you would not leave us without hope, that you would be there to carry us. And as Paul tells us, we're not supposed to have to grieve like others do because we have this great hope. His name is Jesus. Minister to Alfonso, minister to Charlotte, minister to others who have called in today, we thank you in Jesus name. Have a great weekend.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-01-24 07:37:41 / 2024-01-24 07:56:04 / 18

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