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Are You Ready for the End?

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
July 21, 2020 11:42 am

Are You Ready for the End?

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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July 21, 2020 11:42 am

While I had to step away with unexpected caregiving duties, American Family Radio general manager, Jim Stanley, filled in for me on this special edition of HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER. 

Jim brings his considerable understanding of the caregiver's journey to the conversation and asked the question, "as caregivers ...are we ready for the end?"  Not just our loved ones', but for ourselves as well?

Hard topic, great calls ...and it's a part of our lives and journey as caregivers. 

 

Peter Rosenberger is the host of HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER.  The nation's #1 broadcast and podcast show for family caregivers, Peter draws upon his 34+ year journey as a caregiver for his wife, Gracie, through a medical nightmare that includes 80+ surgeries, multiple amputations, and treatment by 100+ physicians. 

Learn more at www.HopefortheCaregiver.com

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Why not want chicken chicken maybe it's not the for your family but it is the perfect gift for poor family chicken can break the cycle of poverty for poor family yes chicken chickens and provide nourishment for family and they can sell those exit the market for income when you donate a chicken or any other gospel for Asia. 100% of what you give goes to the field and the ball went gospel fundraiser to support family and Jesus family this Christmas, give them six explanation chickens and camping workable hope of the caregiver on American family radio, this is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver. There are more than 65 million Americans right now who are putting themselves between the vulnerable of one. And even worse disaster. I mean it could be Alzheimer's. It could be autism.

It could be addiction.

Whatever the chronic impairment there's always a character.

How are you feeling how are you doing what's going on with you is the whole theme of this shows that they were not interested in your love interested in you because if you go down.

What happens to your love one, and that's what we do the show we were glad they were on American family radio 888-589-8840 888-589-8840.

I am Peter Rosenberger I am your host, I'm glad you with this but caregiver must sell for 34 years and I've learned a few things along the way a lot of hard things nobody ever wipes the brown say I learned that the easy way is just the way it works in his caregivers. We have a relentless set of challenges that we deal with and and we want to speak into that with this much clarity as we possibly can hear on this show and also bring the strong understanding of the biblical worldview and what was God say about all these things when Scripture said there's no place in Scripture. I've seen that covers what God is taking care of his wife for all these years like I have an 80 surgeries both her legs amputated and all these things there is no place in Scripture says, okay, here's what you do next but scriptures filled with the crux of the whole thing which is the heart matter of the anger of the fear of the guilt of the obligation of the resentment and that's what the show covers is dealing with all those things that we can navigate safely through all these very circumstances we deal with enjoy this morning with by Jim Stanley about two years ago I went to Jim and I proposed my idea of doing a show for caregivers. We kicked around a lot of things. He did a background check on the fingerprints, bloodwork, there's all kinds of things that he did and and yet I still passed and Jim said it at the here's the thing. What he said just before we went on the air but Jim is the is the gym with you, the program manager, the general manager father the headband the big cheese, the top dog NER. None of that applies at any given time will give some general manager general manager at American family. Okay the here's what Jim said just before I went on the air but Jim was accusing me of not remembering all the other things we but I remember this Jim and then there's the words he gave the justice that you know that mentor support and encouragement. Jim has a real gift of exhortation and he said this is either going to be a brilliant move or an unmitigated disaster.

I thought it might said Peter Yuri to go to make me look really smart are someone else will be in this chair and that that's the kind of encouragement.

People leave before they go on the air was not really rather it's writing it.

Jim is sitting in with me today that I wanted to introduce them to evil. He's going to guest host for me shortly and for this week and next week as I take care of some things with my parents in South Carolina modify back for Montana's first about it on the plane. Since the whole Corona thing, but I lived with my wife and had the coronavirus for several weeks and she got over it sheep to punch through it and I never got it, and they were certain I would get it and they said we must be some kind of caregiving and my wife said yes that's right he is some kind kind and by her cellmate didn't you tell me that Gracie was one of the first cases in Montana. She wasn't.

She was the first case in our county right, the greater there's only four people in our county.

No, I just cannot.

But it's wheat we live in a very remote area but we had to go to Billings for prosthetic appointment so we think that's where she got were not sure because they have officially told us exactly where she got it, but there were only finite places we went but Montana's been practicing social distancing since 1889 riser state motto out here so y'all go home is what what is let it some so I would get on a plane do that in Jim's going to to talk with you guys and and take your calls and so forth.

Over the next two Saturdays, but Jim and I share a lot of similar journeys mean you know when you when you've been in relationship with people who are chronically impaired.

He dealt with both of his parents going through cognitive impairment through dementia and Alzheimer's and his mother through diabetes lost her legs, the Jim's been involved also in ministry, elbows deep in ministry for a long time and understands this. Why shouldn't American family radio be the premier place for show for the family caregiver and and I think we've made a pretty good case that this show on this network is the tip of the spear when it comes to ministering to the family caregivers we are. We are committed to the health of families in the middle name of American family radio so we wanted to reach out with a different kind of program. It's not a place to call it just kinda commiserated and just say what was me. It's a place to unload some of these burdens and this is Scripture says we share one another's bird would bear one another's burdens.

This is what it looks like to to help come along each other and point each other to Christ.

I come from the mindset that we caregivers don't need a lot of instructions but we need a lot of reminders in the gym. I wanted to ask you this. I've had of a long-standing belief is a belief in mind, it's not a fact because I haven't lived it, but that for caregivers the heart ache. The challenges the stress sometimes the damage of the journey doesn't end at the funeral, or when the grass is growing on the Graybill extent long beyond that and there's a need for healing for the caregiver long after the burial is at a fair statement I think so. I think it's one of the things and into mention about the program you know as we were starting it two years ago, one of the things that we had to overcome was the time in oh 7 AM on Saturday morning and then that happened quickly because what was happening. His folks all over the country were finding out they weren't alone in their struggle as a caregiver. They were no longer on an island by themselves, but they could hear someone like them being ministered to or even calling in themselves and being ministered to. But playwright, you know, we've had a couple of calls where folks have you know the spouse are the person they had been giving care to passed away and it was still several years that healing was going on because they were finding things. Pockets of things that had been you know, perhaps repressed in and they were finally able to let go of some of that. I know that you know Father's Day was not too long ago and it was my wife. She still missed her dad and and will you know why. As we look at the anniversaries that Elinor and Charles. That's my my in-laws will no longer have together and Elinor still in and I say this because everyone in the family knows it but she still walking through some grief but she's doing a lot better but the grief is still there because she had someone that she had spent 55 years of her life with.

I think is how long they had been married and so you know Peter that's that's real that that's you know I was joking earlier about real life being on radio, but when you think of of having the having to have carried carried someone literally sometimes are cared for someone for many years then you you go with them to the graven. Sometimes there is the guilt of of a little relief that one. That person is no longer suffering but sit, but sooner, sometimes it's the fact that you as a as a caregiver are looking forward to some rest and so there's a double. There is a double whammy.

There there is and I think a lot of caterers also start replaying tapes in their mind shows how old I am to use or tape, but they replay these things and send you know I should've done this or should have done that which I done that and and I am I want one of the things I wanted to do on the show was to help weight and weight into those kinds of topics, and make sure the caregivers knew of path to safety of where they can go in land and and and okay and be at peace with this and let the grace of God comfort and trust Christ even with the things we wish we had knowing that he who began a good work in us is the day of Christ, and so that's the purpose of this show where Clifford was so glad that you with this listing and Jim, thank you for being a part of this and if you would be for the show. 888-5888 888-589-8840. This is hopefully caregiver will be one euro American family radio's daily I will be taking your phone calls and just a bit not give you the number that time in their first shares what to think about this morning and another programs hope for the caregiver but one of the things I want to think about this morning as we alluded to as we were going into the break.

What happens when your loved one dies what happens when they go home to be with the Lord.

What does that leave you and we were talking about the grieving process and how sometimes that grieving takes years because there's just pockets of things that are around that you may run into. There are things that you may have posted on Facebook and you know Facebook brings those memories back and I know that yesterday for those of you familiar with IFR and JJ Jasper. Yesterday was the was the anniversary of Cooper's passing and it's been 11 years since Cooper went home to be with the Lord.

And so we want you to understand that it's one of those things in them and I know that there were remembrances there that JJ had mentioned and Melanie had mentioned and so what should be in prayer for them. Randy Lucius, one of our staff members as mom went home to be with the Lord. Day before yesterday, so I want you to remember them in prayer. I want you to remember the loved ones in your church, the loved ones in your congregation that have have had loved ones go home to be with the Lord. It's tough. It's tough when you walk into that.

It's tough when you begin to walk through that and so these things are, they are at it, life is real and we live that together.

And so with the scripture I want to share with you and I'm sure you've heard it before and it says dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know that what will we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope for since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again. We also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him. The believers who have died and so we don't live without hope we don't live without that. Hope we don't live with nothing. We know that there's better to come. We know that that love when that is struggled and suffered that there is better to come but what we don't know is in that instance when that love one dies.

We may not be prepared for what's next and in America we have one of the best health care facilitate healthcare facilities across the country from around the world. We have some of the best medical practitioners and you know it's one of those things that they may have given great comfort and great care to your family member but then when that family member passes you were not there. Patient the survivors aren't there patient they want you to begin to transition is the term that they call and so they want to know what mortuary you plan to use. They want to know what and then the mortuary. Of course they want to know what kind of service you want to have an all of these things hit you like a ton of bricks. All of these things hit you unexpectedly.

Sometimes it may be a sudden death that may be a a loved one that has had a lingering care issue and you know it's coming.

But nothing prepares you for that moment when the heart stops when the breath stop and then it's time to to understand that if you're in the hospital. You're not a patient anymore that your loved one now is basically occupying a bad and I have seen that handled beautifully by some hospitals and I have seen and handled tragically by others where there's a rush for you to have someone to come and take the body and outs of like a said you're not there. Patient and so it it's hard for them and please hear me.

If you are caregiver and I mean that if you are a nurse or you're a doctor, I'm not placing this blame on you if you're a hospital administrator not placing the blame on you. Some of your folks do a great job and I think sometimes the impact of the death of the loved one is a reminder to the hospital staff that it could've been one of their loved ones and that's why they don't want to see the grieving they don't want to see the initial grief they don't they. They want you to take in and as I said, the term begins then to transition and so you as a caregiver when you got planned for that.

Do you have the, the, burial insurance, as they call it a do you have life insurance are death insurance as some call it.

I'm fortunate to work here at IFA and because of being part of a group policy. Here I get insurance.

I would not be able to get otherwise to the level of insurance, let me say that I can get. I am able to get it here because of course we buy with our employee plan and that's very helpful to me and so I know that when I passed. Lord willing, and if I'm still remained in employment of AFA, then the insurance will cover that because that's something they won't have to worry about, but I would. I know that it's one of those things that we as caregivers ultimately have to walk through and it helps for to walk through it together.

The number this morning is 888 589-8840 AAA 85898840. Doesn't sound like a fun show but it's one of those things that we have to come to grips with and I'm not asking you to call and beat up on the hospital or beat up on a doctor is not the purpose. If you if you have walk through this want you to call to help me explain to others what that journeys gonna be like when I get beat up on caregivers this morning when I get a beat up on the on the hospital staffs are the emergency crews is limitation, those folks do an incredible job and as we look at what's going on with this covert situation.

We have some staff members that have family in Memphis Mississippi who are Memphis, Mississippi my word Memphis Tennessee.

I haven't had enough coffee yet this morning Peter makes me get up early but I have. We have five staff members who have friends and family that worked up there and they say the hospital and met Memphis is beginning to be inundated with covert patients and so they need prayer because they're being pushed to their limits and and here in America and around the world.

I'm sure there has been a vast number of pressures in different anxieties and things felt because of that and it's one of those things that you can see the another death ticked off another death ticked off will focus their families that have that loved one that may have gone home to be with the Lord and let me tell you the most important thing you can do is if you have a family member that doesn't know Jesus, you need to let them know about Jesus.

Soon you need to let them know about Jesus today because were not promised tomorrow. We know we read in Scripture that life is but a vapor and a vapor is just a missed one moment, staring the next moment it's gone, it's a change in the atmosphere that makes that happen while for Oz as caregivers we need to be sure that we are prepared for that that were ready for that was a mention my name is Jim Staley. The programs hope for the caregivers and caregiver and sitting in for Peter Rosenberger this morning you not in the two years that Peter's been on we done a couple of best stops and now today I have the privilege to sit in form and I'll be with you next week as well. I'll try and choose a more happy topic if you will, but because of the conversation Peter and I had regarding the program this morning, I felt that it was good to go on to that next step and kind to help prepare you as a caregiver for what happens when the loved one goes home to be with the Lord.

An average funeral in America can cost between seven and $12,000 and more. That's the national average cost. The country says seven to $10,000. And folks, I want you to understand even if you spend as much as $10,000.

There is instances where you could've spent another 10 and let me remind you to the funeral isn't for the loved one, it's for the survivors and that's why we want to do as much as we can and and again there are some great folks at work for funeral homes that listen to AFR and were grateful for them, but there are also folks that are in it for the business and you have to be careful of which funeral home you choose because they will push you to get the top-of-the-line casket and I'm not saying your loved one doesn't deserve that. Please hear my heart. What I'm saying is that you have to understand the costs that are going to be involved with that and it's not just the casket it's the flowers it's the. The whole again. You know we talk about transitioning.

It's the cost of moving the loved one from the hospital to the to the mortuary. It's if you decide you want to have the funeral at a church that rather than the. The march at the chapel there at the funeral home. There's a cost involved with that there's a cost involved transporting the loved one to the restingplace and then the flowers and different things there. Did you know that the simple casket spray that goes on top of the casket that those things can cost as much is $1200 or more and so there is a lot of cost involved with that, but it and again I'm not saying your loved ones.

Not worth it. I'm just saying be ready because when you walk into these places when you have to walk in and make those arrangements. It's like you're blindsided and it's not the intention necessarily of the funeral home folks are the flower folks, you're just not ready for those expenses. At least with a wedding and I know I'm going from one extreme to another. But at least with the wedding you get to add those cost up well in advance so you're preparing for that but it went. When it comes to end-of-life. There's no preparation. I even if, like us, that even if you know the loved one was sick and they were perhaps dying. It's one of those things that as it happens, as as you begin to walk through that. You just gonna blindsided and so you gotta be careful about that. Well, as I mentioned, I am Jim Staley said in and for Peter Rosenberger.

This is hope for the caregiver on American family radio AAA 589-8840 AAA 589-8840 is a number to call and Laban will get to your call as it is hope for the caregiver continues on AFR and have you ever struggled to trust God when things happen to you. I'm gracing Rosenberger 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others@standingwithout.com. I'm Gracie and I am scheming with help. Every hair on American family radio family for Peter Rosenberger this morning and the number 589 AAA 58988401 reminder of Scripture this morning comes from Hebrew are poorly first Thessalonians the fourth chapter and verse 13 and now their brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope for us since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again. We also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him. The believers who have died. We tell you this directly from the Lord. We who are still living with the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those of those who died for the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout in the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God first of the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together we with them were still alive and remain on earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words and their times that we need to be encouraged, especially when 11 passes and it's one of those things that again like I said I don't think were completely prepared for. Regardless of how much preparation we do, there's always that moment when when the the literal moment when they go home to be with the Lord.

Sometimes, often times most times that's very shocking realization, and we have to remember what were doing. Let's go to the phones as promised. AAA 589-8840 AAA to 589-8840 and let's talk to Laban now calling in from Kansas. Laban good morning and welcome to hope for the caregiver good morning and thank you I just III don't need to take alcohol a lot of airtime but I wanted to confirm that you done good. When you got there shout out. I buy my my wife at a slight stroke about 10 years ago and she doesn't drive and other limitations, but were both pushing 70. And so sometimes she feels like she's my caregiver to Ed so so it this show has just been such a good a good thing to keep the rider steady and and and and just have a lot of good things to consider is as we face, you know, our senior years and then so I II just want to thank you and and I won't I won't belabor you.

Let let Diane before you answer the question for me now very grateful for what you said. Please understand that and I agree.

I think that Peter does a magnificent service to our listeners and were grateful for that.

But he would scold me if I didn't ask you this question.

How are you doing out morning hike.

Yeah, I see he eroded on that and all all applied you for asking that question to doing okay I'm I'm overloaded.

We bought a house couple years ago so that we could move to town and from the country which I wasn't keeping up with our acreage and it was getting overgrown in an shameful and so we moved into a really old house. The fixer-upper and so I kind of out of the frying pan into it. I just just tried to keep trying to keep going with that.but but like I say I I yeah I really I feel like I'm I'm doing okay. Keeping the realistic. As far as what I need and and what I can do and and so I'm I'm not I don't feel overwhelmed. I'm also trying to work I'm I'm still doing the 40 hour week is to keep from having to take my Social Security I 80 figure not have to and that and so hopefully within the next in about a year.

All all be able to retire that way, but by the you know and God God II just thank God for aura people and both have a skill and we enjoy our time together and so so keeping everything balanced me ask you this. You mentioned that you're getting close to 70 and that you feel like sometimes your wife is your caregiver who gives you a break or is there someone there in your family that give you a break that will come in and let you have a couple of hours even and I and I mean that because you and so and then also give your wife a break yeah yeah really I go to work every day that in a way kind of my breaks.

She you know she's she takes care of herself totally during the day and and and and at night got out as far as as far as you know, just cooking and cleaning and and and and like I say, driving right I I take care of most of that but anyway so so really I would cope with things she needs a break.

More night left so so you know why I we get out. Take a driving and how she is. She is more uptight about getting the getting covert than I am but so shall stand the car but will and when we have to go out of town all get hurt. Try to break some of her cabin fever and is staying yeah I will say we want out for each other good but I'm glad you called in this morning. Again, thank you for the kind remarks about the program.

I know that I've enjoyed it when I when I been in with Peter and then also when a minute and you had the opportunity to listen and so I would appreciate that. But also very good to hear that that things are going pretty good for you understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. Think about that every day when I climb in my truck, it's one of those things that I'm, like Lord, let me make it a few more years so that how many how many plates can I keep absolutely highlighted will God bless you and you have a thank you thank you back on. I'm sure you know I got it that he will review this program, I promise. No doubt God bless mother talk to Justin Naftali from Oklahoma Justin good morning and welcome to hope for the caregiver good morning general strike that could be on your day with a deep sigh during this morning pretty good at my my wife and I stay out pretty.

The USSR kicked in our foster care and Michael time job as a hospice chaplain until I I would. We just we say really busy will know you work is as a hospice chaplain that had you see some of these things that we talked about this morning when a loved one because of their and hospice. They know that loved ones going to die. They may not know the day and so it right. It does catch them. You know, even then, suddenly, even though they know it's coming.

But you probably seen them and let me say this, my father-in-law. We had some of the best hospice care workers. You could've asked for my wife and my mother-in-law did nothing but brag on those ladies and a couple of the nurses even after he had passed. They came to check on Elinor a couple of times and they didn't have to do that and so I I say I want you to know I really glad that there there are hospice workers because they begin to prepare for the transition don't let Dave a daily radio and got one of the things that I think God are encouraged to help me in becoming a better hospice worker at the fact that I had to go through the experience with my family and a goal with my father and he had a year and are starting to fall. Health rapidly declined admin on April 13 he passed away mercy and that and I would I was. I was really cold, I wanted that kind of care, especially with with other people going through with this COBIT stop. You know my dad was 66 936. We couldn't going to the hospital to see him when his health with the client may only where I'm I'm the middle of three kids, family matter. When he worked at the point where they knew you every passing and when I went there in the room with my with my brother and sister. I of course it had had been used to seeing. I guess the process you would say when someone dies, trying I knew what was going on with their ontologically, I knew it, but when it's your own father is a lot different than than when you can in with with the family, when eloquent kind of hot will and in so for you when it wasn't any easier for you because in your family had to begin working through that. Almost immediately, and you're right that's an aspect that I didn't think about when I was talking earlier, is the fact that it's just recently that the hospitals have let a single person go in and sometimes I still don't do that, especially as the numbers begin to rise again, but that's one of those things that that had to make it doubly hard for family members because I know that we had a couple of friends who had someone die and they were unable to go in, actually at all. They they had to meet the body at the mortuary, and so it was really tough for them, so let me ask you this if you don't mind, and in I've got another collar to AAA 589-8840 Howdy, can you hold on through the break. Sure, okay we can come back and continue to talk to Justin. Justin lives in Oklahoma and they're one of the states that are seen a rise in numbers as well. I my wife and I were talking about doing to vacation and we were looking around at the different states that we could actually go to and so it's one of those things that right now there's a lot of limitations because a COBIT in one of those limitations is even helping our loved ones go home to be with the Lord there in those final moments. This is hope for the caregiver on American family radio.

Jim Stanley and for Peter Rosenberger and will be back right after this you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident, leading to 80 surgeries in both legs and became it.

I questioned why God allowed something so brittle to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in Tennessee prison.

We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing without.com I'm Gracie and I am staining with help Rosenberger use Peter's wife and together they have the ministry of standing without, and that you can find that complete project. There has also had hope for the caregiver.com Peter is quite an accomplished pianist and so he doesn't say this about himself. Very often he'll talk about is books, he'll talk about some of the things that he's quite the pianist and he has a project there as well that you would probably enjoy. If you'd like to go in and look at some of those resources and, of course, is books. They are quite helpful and so it's it's one of those things that he he's not here so I'll brag on him and I'll let you know what good guy he is and that he is sold out for Jesus and he just simply wants to help you help your loved one better or talking again to Justin from OK 88858 nine 8840 AAA 85898840 Justin I appreciate you holding on through the break and so want to revisit if you if you don't mind and and I don't want to be if you're not comfortable with this letter please just say so. But when you are at the heart when you were at the hospital. You mentioned that you could not go in until they knew that your your dad was about to pass and you said you were the middle of three children. Yes, there were you able to get it out. I know it's hard but were you able to help your family grieve it. Is it one of those things that are where you just overwhelmed in that moment it was one of the moments where there was grief but then kind of like I can look better. Realizing that my my my two siblings have not experienced a lot of doubts, that kinda kicked in. I don't know.

Maybe, hospice chaplain kicking in winter when he when he passed one of the things that I my dad regarding a very very godly man down character. When I was caregiving for him. There was a day that went by that I wouldn't go by his room and he wasn't listening to like Alister bag or some other preacher and I and he he he he love the word of God and he laughed and so when he passed there without comfort. The fact that my my brother and sister.

I needed they are believers, and so I recognize that as well keep it.

One of the best moment we had was when he died. Gag also Cherokee and in winter can guide you with a lot of my native patient around here in Oklahoma I the state with a higher native population, I know the Lord's prayer in Cherokee and settle my and my dad was very very proud Cherokee heart and beautiful emotional you know I just grabbed his hand and we said that, you know Goalie which is until we meet again in heaven. What you can and Cherokee info. That was a wonderful Mike Richter was very thankful for that because the hospital chaplain was one of the best and I yeah etc. so Jacob I encountered shortening three I got to tenant, to minister to my my family will Justin having gone through that myself couple of times and is not the Cherokee part, but being with the family members there after the death that's a that's a critical time.

A crucial time and you mentioned they're not believers. So let's hope that the seeds that you've sown and showed through your life. Do that you may have heard me earlier talking about JJ and Melanie and I can. I know that I've seen Jesus live through them because of how they fought through their the death of their little boy for 11 years ago and and I've been with JJ. I've been here 20+ years now and so I saw JJ walk through that and I know them to be a man of God have seen Melanie walk through that and so will be praying for you as you continue to walk through that and you pray for us here.

Thank you so much for calling and thanks for sharing. Thank you Yvette by Mrs. hope for the caregiver on American family radio on Jim Stanley sitting in for Peter Rosenberger this morning and I want to remind you again that the by standing with help.com are hope for the caregiver.com in and you'll find some of Peter's resources there as well as some of Gracie's music to because you know Peter. Guy and we miss inmate honored that he is allowed me to sit in for him. Then today, and if you hear me next Saturday then you'll know that he was okay with the program. If not, you'll know I didn't do too well, but right now, let's talk till Alfonzo calling from Texas Alfonso good morning and welcome to hope for the caregiver morning Jim, thanks for having me.

I've always enjoyed the program and I've been listening for around a year or so and I watched the caregiver down, but I'm about to transition into becoming a caregiver when my mom who recently fell down and broke And she's gonna be getting out probably next week so I will be transitioning into that role and it's going to be new. A little scared and probably just need some prayer all that's pretty much at will.

Alfonso Lemanski and in again. I don't.

I never won a prize so that I ask you a question you're not comfortable with. Then you can sand rather than an answer that you are you married your plan. Do you have children at home. Okay, are you going to bring your mom to your home to care to do the caregiving. That's correct.

I'm looking through probably do a very weak spot. I have a feeling that it may be more but as the previous listener was talking, I do not have the ability to go to the skilled nursing facility, but now she's doing.

Although she told me she's doing okay right before she went into the nursing into the skill facility.

She was already using a walker and so I would imagine it's going to be that much more difficult.

Okay well let's let's get real here for a moment.

Okay you need to prepare your hallway. You need to pair your restroom to help your mom you need in and you may have already done that. But as you said you're moving into the caregiving role. Those are some some they seem small. They seem incidental but if you're if your mom when she gets to use the restroom. She is not gonna want to have to call you in their to help her get up off the toilet and so those are practical things to make sure that there's take care of anything that she might trip on battalions, especially with a broken hip, hip, humane, and even if they replace the hip and she's on the walker it's gonna be a struggle for so make sure that the triple triple things are taken care off as you prepare your home and again you may already be working on that you may have gone to Google and checked out how to caregiver but it it's one of those things that those are some practical things that you can do now and the reason I say that is because once your mom gets there. Everything becomes different.

Your wife is going to have to help you're going to have to help you're going to have to tagteam sometimes and so I encourage you, even though it may be short-term to be ready for that. And like you said, it may even be longer because now from her since she's fallen once again to be concerned about her falling again and so but yes or we will definitely be praying for you because you know you love your mom you have, how is your mom. My mom is 87 will be turning 88 year so you held up by hand or timer are working against her was a hairline fracture. I want to say but again I don't want her to fall again as you mentioned and annexed big concern and that it really kind of just changes the entire dynamics of of everything in terms of, you know, when I was planning to retire that might be pushed up here a little sooner and again a lot of unknowns and it may be a long-term caregiver role.

I don't know when I get those are some of the unknowns that I don't know about that kind of the little bit of concern in my mind right will let me encourage you before your mom gets there and you said she should be coming home when within a week I try do something extra special for your wife because you want her to know that you love your mom but you still love her because some of your attention now is gonna be split and so be ready for that, I help your wife be ready for that. You guys get together and huddle and understand what the time constraints are going to be your still.

Are you still working your plan.

I'm 62, your wife. 60 okay so you have to consider your work schedules and what's gonna happen there and so those are just some very real concerns and Alfonzo not say what and the folks I know that I've got a Levy on the line and I apologize that were going to run out of program time but you know, we may carry this topic over the next weekend and so I've been thinking about that and taken Mary in Charlotte you folks.

If you would call if you call again next weekend.

But if you have a split that specific question you can send that to me, to Jim stanley@afr.net but Alfonzo. Let's pray in the time remaining that we have left, and I want to pray for you and in your mom and your wife and as well as the other families have called in and those who are walking through grief. Heavenly father we know today that you really are a good father that you have promised us that you would not leave us without hope that you would be there to carry us in as Paul talk tells us we're not supposed to have to grieve like others to because we have this great hope. His name is Jesus ministered to Alfonzo Minister to Charlotte minister to others who have called in today. We thank you in Jesus name. Have a great weekend


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