Absurd Truth: Plastic Straws Are Back

What's your favorite peanut butter chocolate treat?

Easy call, right? Well, it might be more of a dilemma after you try the new Reese's Chocolate Lava Big Cup. It's a delicious twist on that favorite treat. The Reese's Chocolate Lava Big Cup is the perfect combination of creamy milk chocolate, delicious peanut butter, and an ooey gooey chocolatey filling. It's a completely new kind of Reese's Peanut Butter Perfection. Shop Reese's Chocolate Lava Big Cup now at a store near you.

Found wherever candy is sold. Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So Central Florida Man was accused of stealing appliances from construction sites.

Why do people think that stupid stuff like this is going to go unnoticed? So this dude is a Flager County, it was a Flager and St. John Counties. One Orlando resident filed a police report because she discovered her home had been ransacked. I mean, just stole everything, including the the air conditioning unit. And this they are they finally arrested this guy. Apparently he's been just like ransacking homes for quite some time. And they said that they they caught him like red handed. He had all these appliances that he was stealing from these construction sites right in the back of his truck. And so he was in a Chevy Solarado. They caught him on camera doing it. They ran him down. And they are looking for more and because he wasn't working alone. So they're looking for a Flager County. They're looking for more tips on people doing that's crazy. So you would have to basically send you would have to like hire.

You gotta have security there at some of these places then to protect the construct and protect the stuff that you're putting in these properties and how is a guy like that able to get on there so easily? It's kind of crazy. This Stanford Man was accused of hitting his girlfriend with a fishing reel and a police dog found him in a tree.

Oh, yeah. Canine red. I love the canines. If that man hurt that canine, I will drug him. Stanford Man is jailed $40,000 bond. He hit his girlfriend in the head with a fishing pole. Oh, and then he also pointed a gun under which the headline that seems to me like that's the most important part. Henry Perdue was charged with battery with a deadly weapon aggravated assault possession of because he's a convicted felon. So he's a prohibited possessor, but he was in illegal possession anyway. And he also stole the gun that he was using. So grand theft of a firearm. Lots of felonies here. So she had cuts to her head when police arrived. He wasn't home, but canine handler and the dog tracked him down. He was found hiding in a tree.

So they were able to get him in. A man was arrested on a drug charge after barking like a dog at an auto parts store. A Florida man is accused of if you guessed meth, you'd be right possessing it after he was allegedly observed barking like a dog in a Georgia auto parts store for over an hour.

Wow, that's dedication. Monroe County online booking record show Jonathan Navis of Palm Coast. He's 29 was arrested charged with possession of meth and battery. They said that it was an advanced auto parts store that called the police to say that there's not jobs in the store. They think he's on drugs. And he's barking like a dog. He's been in there barking like a dog for over an hour. So the guy told police that he had no idea literally what he told them. No idea that his barking was causing any issues. So he was arrested bond set of 5000.

He also had an active warrant out for his arrest for previous previous offenses. Just geez. This guy, let's see, beat his neighbor with a golf club and shot him in the ankle.

Kings Point Palm Beach Post. Oh my goodness. This is see golf sounds violent. A 77 year old man shot a dog walker in the ankle and then turned around and beat him with a golf club.

And their shared senior community jurors acquitted Robert Levine of aggravated battery with the firearm and discharging in public. He was trying to say that it was self defense. But when you then get the guy on the ground and you're beating him with a golf club, that's not self defense anymore.

At that point, you're the aggressor. So he got he was convicted only of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. And he's going to be sentenced on March 27. He said that he was fearing for his life. And that's why he ended up having to use this firearm.

But then, you know, after that, you know, when you're the aggressor, and the guy's like trying to flee, you can't think you can't, when you're pursuing, you're no longer in a defensive position. And that's what prosecutors take into consideration. That's what, be careful with this stuff.

Let's see. This apparently this guy Florida man riding a lawnmower has a knack for taking down mailboxes. He keeps running into mailboxes with his riding lawnmower. Lee County Sheriff's Office is investigating this because he's destroyed multiple mailboxes along the same road. They say it's egregious. But it's also funny, because it's all on video. So this one guy decided to build his mailbox out of brick with the three little pigs. And it's like basically was challenging this guy.

He's been cited a million times. Achieving vibrant, youthful skin doesn't have to be complicated. With the power of native path collagen, you can nourish your body from within and enhance not just your skin, but also your hair, your nails by incorporating native path collagen into your daily routine. You can promote a plump radiant complexion, reduce signs of aging and boost your overall vitality all without any unnecessary fillers or additives. Native path collagen has only type one and three collagen, the most important types making up 90% of your body's collagen, no artificial sweeteners, just pure third party tested goodness.

It's completely flavorless. So you can just add it to about anything, your coffee or smoothies oatmeal or whatever you want. And the best part is that native paths peptides formula makes it more bio available.

So it means your body will absorb it easily. Start your journey to healthier skin today. Get native path calm slash Dana and stock up on native path collagen and save up to an incredible 45% off plus free shipping. Every order includes a 365 day money back guarantee.

Don't miss out head to get native path calm slash Dana. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like aloe or all birds or skims. Sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the business behind the business making selling simple for millions of businesses. That business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boost conversions up to 50% meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web in your store in their feed and everywhere in between upgrade your business and get the same checkout all birds uses sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify comm slash try all lowercase go to Shopify comm slash try to upgrade your selling today.

Shopify comm slash try Welcome to the program, Dana lash with you. So we're at the top of this first hour. And we've can we get the plastic straw audio because this is I want to use this kind of as an example where I had a friend tell me Dana, this is not a lot. I mean, really plastic straws. It's not it's not a big deal plastic, but it's actually a big deal. Why is it not a big I think it's actually a big deal.

Yeah, audio, audio, somebody four, go ahead and play this. Next, this is an executive order. As you've consistently identified, nobody really likes paper straw number one trending.

Can you believe it a paper show is number one trending for three days or something. The environmental impact of plastic straws versus paper straws is entirely unclear. This has cost both the government and private industry, an absolute ton of money and left consumers all over the country wildly dissatisfied with their straws. So we're asking aspects of the federal government, federal departments and agencies to look at their existing procurement processes. And we're asking your domestic policy council to look holistically at this issue to address it.

And it really is something that affects ordinary Americans in their everyday lives. We're going back to plastic stores. These things don't work. I've had a many times and on occasion they break. They explode. If something's hot, they don't last very long, like a matter of minutes.

Sometimes a matter of seconds. It's a ridiculous situation. So we're going back to plastic straws.

I think it's okay. I the thing that you're missing out of this, we don't need it is how loud his pen is. Oh my gosh, did you hear him sign it?

It's like ASMR on steroids. Listen, that's him signing the straw thing. That's how loud it is. And I don't think that plastic is going to affect a shark. Wait, no, no, can I have the shark part?

No, no, no, get one's dying. I need this is the most important part of the audio right here. Pay attention. And I don't think that plastic is going to affect a shark very much as they're eating as they're munching their way through the ocean munching there.

Thank you, sir. Next, we have munching their way through the ocean. It is what they do. It's their house. That's their house.

They're munching their way through through the ocean. POTUS is absolutely correct in that. I love it.

I just absolutely I love I love everything about it. So I had a friend say to me, you know, it's not a big deal. Really, that's the thing that the right is celebrating is like the straws. First off, let's put something in perspective.

I actually think it's very good optically to have this and let me explain why. They're going after the really big waste, fraud and abuse with USAID, correct? So they're going after the large, the huge amounts of waste, fraud and abuse. But while this is happening, I think that he understands that the people have to have a, they have to have something they have to have an immediate effect. They need to have something, a little bit of immediate satisfaction as a way to measure the impact of the election.

Does this make sense? Because people are so tired, they've been so beaten down, dealing with inflation, feeling like, you know, they are persona non grata, they've been targeted. And giving having smaller things that have immediate impact that accompany the bigger cost cutting moves is smart, because it gives people that immediate satisfaction while also still accomplishing the big waste. So while people are waiting to see results of some of the other costs cutting, they see, Oh, wow, I don't have any crappy paper straws anymore, which by the way, I think that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard of whoever decided that we should do paper straws should be hung high. I'm not speaking rhetorically. I mean, these people we should we should they should go out like Mussolini. Mussolini, um, that's that's the state take them out, have them find like a square similar to that in Milan and have the people beat them. I'm just saying because it's that bad.

What not too harsh? No, no, it's actually it's a mercy. It's a mercy.

It is can I just reiterate, who was the brain trust behind? Let's put a paper thing in some liquid. You can drink your liquid through the paper throw.

Who came up with that? That's so stupid. And then you had the government that was doing I mean, isn't it like to me, it seems like that's like you're putting toxins in your drink, but whatever. If you insist on having to have biodegradable straws, because that's the hill that your insufferable life is going to die on, then you know what, go get you some corn based straws.

That's what I use. And not because I am avoiding plastic. It's just because they're huge.

Right? And I think that's what I'm talking about. I just I don't know now I like big straws. Just wait as and they're colorful. So I get I get a specific type made in the USA. I get a specific probably big corn makes them you know what put big corn to use instead of letting them try to run the hell out of all of our primaries. Let them have the straws.

You know, you can do that or just go to plastic. I'm so tired of it. And have you noticed like, even what's his face? The guy who played wet Thor? Who is that guy?

Yes, I can't think of the name of it. The movie I feel like a mighty boosh right now. It's the long the windy mover. Who's the wet Thor guy? He played wet Thor.

Sometimes we need a clear vision into your head. It's like Thor with water. Wet Thor.

Arthur Curry? No, and he had a trident. That fictional character?

The guy wet Thor with a trident. You talking about Jason Momoa playing that character? Yes. Yes.

Okay. What is he played wet Thor? Yeah, Arthur Curry. I don't know who that is. So is that basketball player? I don't even know. It's Jason Momoa. I know Jason Momoa, but what was the name of the guy that he played? It was like a big franchise. Huh?

Dear heavens, I'm sitting here with like every generation. No, it's Aquaman. Oh my gosh, thank you. Aquaman. Wet Thor. The character. Okay.

Same difference. So, Kane's like, I'm going three pages deeper. You're like the fifth ball I'm juggling in the last two minutes. So, no, hold on. Listen, listen.

Do you remember when he was trolling Chris Pratt over like water bottles and straws on Instagram? It's that kind of stuff that I'm talking about. It's the little things. You got everyday people living their everyday lives. They want to go, they want to take their kids to school or practice or wherever, and they got to go work their job, and then they got to pay the tax man.

They come home, they got dinner to make and all this other stuff. And they just, for the love of all things holy, have one little bright spot and that's enjoying an ice cold drink with a straw in it or having a straw and then they give paper straw and it turns into this like barely soluble mess in your drink that makes it undrinkable. It's just one of the little things that makes people's lives insufferable.

This just is a little thing that helps out a lot. That's it. That's all I'm saying. That's it.

That's the tweet. It's our friends at Keltec, the PR 57. It is a 5.7. It's called the PR 57 and it's from Keltec.

Brand new. They launched it just like a couple weeks ago at Shot Show and they changed concealed carry back in 95. Now the PR 57 rotary barreled pistol chambered in 5.7. It's redefining it with this cutting edge design and performance. So it has this innovative rotary barrel which makes it the lightest 5.7 on the market. And by that I mean it's 40% lighter than the next lightest 5.7. I mean it's crazy how light this is.

But it's super well balanced. It has a unique top loading design that replaces the traditional magazine with a stripper clip and it has a 20 plus one capacity. So the left can finally be accurate in the same clips instead of magazines.

And it was inspired by real world data and defensive needs. I mean this is a 5.7 that a lady could actually conceal carry. Low recoil for ease of use and accuracy. Super simple and reliable. Perfect for everyday carry for literally everybody. And it's super affordable. The MSRP is only $399.

I mean you can get this. Visit KelTecWeapons.com to learn more about the PR 57 rotary barrel pistol 5.7 innovative and actually concealed carry. Innovative performance. KelTec. That's KelTecWeapons.com.

K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. The 3.6 magnitude earthquake rattled San Bernardino, the third quake of the day to hit the area since Monday actually. So in a 24 hour period. The US Geological Survey said the latest struck about 9.58 p.m. three miles from San Bernardino. And then they said that in the morning there was a preliminary magnitude 3.5 earthquake that hit the area.

And then a 3.0 just a little bit later. That in Santorini in Greece they're getting tons of little rumbles and quakes and stuff. That earthquake by the way rocked area 51. And then there was near Vegas earthquake rocked area 51 and then a gigantic tremor sparked tsunami warnings in the Caribbean. This happened was first reported just the other day.

It was a 2.8 quake near the area 51 base in Nevada. I'm just saying it's kind of weird that that's right. But all that's just saying all that's happening.

I want to move quickly here and get a couple of other things in. Let's see. The inner core may have changed shape say scientists. So some people are speculating that this might be why there's all these like rumblings and quakes and all this stuff that's happening. They say the inner core of the earth per BBC may have changed shape in the past 20 years. They thought it was shaped like a ball but it actually may have deformed by 100 meters or more in height in certain places.

According to one professor they said that that the change in shape could be happening where the edge of the solid inner core touches the hot liquid metal outer core. Geology science stick with us. There it is. Pursuant to the authority of the secretary defense title 10 United States code section 113. I direct the army to change the name of Fort Liberty, North Carolina to Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

That's right. Bragg is back. Bragg is back.

That's SecDef. By the way, can we get, I retweeted this earlier. He's in, I think he's in Germany right now, right? He's in Germany and he woke up and decided, you know, he's going to go work out with some of the dudes over in Germany. There's better pictures of it.

I had, I retweeted one. I don't know if you guys saw the dudes that he is working out with, but it is literally a real life like 40k loadout. Like with the squad. He's rolling with Ogren, man. He's rolling with like a whole, we got to get the other dude in there. Wait, I'm going to find the other picture while Juan shows you this one. I have never seen a man this large in my ever loving life. And I've met Brock Lesnar in person.

Brock Lesnar shook my hand and my whole hand disappeared. Look at this guy's shirt. His chest muscles have muscles on them. His neck muscles have their own muscles.

His earlobes have muscles. Look at him. He looks so happy.

And the pavement is like, why do you hate me? He's so happy. He could like, look at him. He's just like smiling and happy.

Like, I love this. He's legit an Ogren, man. Can you imagine?

Just send him into Gaza with like a, one of those, like a bolt gun and a spiked club and everything's going to be set, man. Just send, we got our own team of Ogren. Is he one of ours? Is that a German dude or is he one of ours?

I just think that's what all I care about. Is that ours? Is that guy ours? SecDef rolls out with like a whole retinue of Ogren. Who knew? I've never seen a SecDef do that before, have you? Like go out, not with Ogren. I mean, but I mean, like go out and run before the sun comes up and do a full workout with all the dudes there. That's what he was doing.

Wines and Jermies did a full on workout. Golly. Now this, they renamed this, they renamed Fort Bragg when Biden was in office too, Fort Liberty, which was stupid.

It was stupid because of the history of it. Let me, let me explain something to people who I guess are illiterate. Juan's getting all the workout photos ready. Oh, you did. You got the whole team of Ogren ready. I get so distracted when I see certain things and Juan's like, will you stop it? Juan's getting ready to show you the whole team of Ogren. Like it's not just, look at these guys.

It's not just one dude, all of them. And then you got the guys in the jacket that are like, I don't know who they are in the background, but yeah, rolling out with a whole retinue of Ogren at SecDef. So he, he changed through this, this memo, Fort Bragg back. It was Fort Liberty and now it's Fort Bragg again, right? And I, people need to understand something about, they really need to understand the, the history of why we had, you know, forts and monuments and stuff like that, as it related to Confederates. Because we had a nation that was at it, at, we were at each other's throats. We were killing each other, major civil war. The whole purpose of having statues of Confederate soldiers and naming certain places after generals, it had nothing to do, people were saying that it, that it was something about celebrating or creating some monuments or somehow celebrating the losses of whatever.

I know there's a million excuses. There's one reason why it was done. And the reason why it was done is because the North, they were not being sore winners and they understood that the nation needed to be brought back together after being so divided. It was magnanimous in what they did.

They were being very generous and they were being, this was a move of reconciliation to say, look, you did what you did. And, uh, you know, we disagreed with it. We defeated you in battle, but to that effect, we're not going to shame your war dead. We're not going to do anything like that.

And we're going to allow you to have those remembrances as well. That was done as a means of unity, not as a means of division. It was never it was never designed to erase what was done. We had to unify again as a nation after the civil war. And that's why this move was made under Lincoln's direction. I might add because it was determined that we need to do, we need to do something and make sure that people understand this is their country too. And we need to have a national reconciliation. That's what it was about. The reason that the left is targeting all of this stuff, it's not because these people care about the horrors of slavery.

Are you kidding me? Democrats promoted slavery. Democrats have been on the wrong side of human rights since the inception of their party. Democrats wanted slavery. They didn't want women to vote. And they sent Native Americans on the trail of genocide so that they could discount a Supreme Court ruling and steal their land in Georgia. And that was under Andrew Jackson, who I don't know why some people on the right revere him, but I think he's a fecal bird. I can't say what I really want to say.

I'm not a fan. That said, there was a reason why these moves were made and why these these acknowledgments were allowed. And the left targets it now because they think that this is a scab to pick. And if you can inflame tension about something that's, you know, 150 plus years old now, then you can use that as a way of division. It's Mao 101.

That's the whole purpose. It had nothing to do with them somehow rejecting slavery or condemning the horrors of it. Because, again, remember, these people were the ones who fought for it.

Republicans then moved in after they were defeated. But Democrats, just like with everything else, they wanted this. They don't care about the value of a human.

They don't care about life. Yes, and I'm saying that as a party. Go and look at their mission statements. Go and look at their actual statement of purpose, the stuff that they celebrate at their conventions. Why do you think so many people left that damn party?

And they're either independent or they count themselves as moderate Republicans that are looking for just fiscal sense and normalcy. There's a reason why. I also was looking at some of the criticisms that people were giving Hegseth for this because the individual, they named it after somebody that has, you know, because it was named after World War II Private First Class Roland Bragg. Braxton Bragg was the Confederate general that originally was named after. And then, of course, that's like a whole other can of worms because a lot of people, even those who are wanting these monuments, etc., to stand, think that he was like one of the worst ones, like bad in terms of strategy.

That's irrelevant to the conversation, but it's interesting. Now, renaming it to a Private First Class Roland Bragg. And he apparently saved somebody's life because he commandeered an enemy ambulance, drove it like 20 miles to transport one of his fellow wounded soldiers to an allied hospital.

This was in Belgium. And so they decided they named it. They renamed it after him.

Lorraine noted that it's such a low rank that he would have never been considered for such an honor and we would not know about him, really, if Hegseth wasn't there in office. So this guy did a very, very brave thing. Something that maybe perhaps would have been overlooked because he was, you know, Private First Class. And now it's been elevated to and what he did was incredibly heroic.

And the fact that it was you know, just happens to have the name Bragg. I think it was clever. Some people were saying that it's weak.

And that Hegseth should have just changed it back. I get what they're saying. This is not something that I'm, again, not a hill I'm going to die on, because there's so much that has to be done.

But at least it says Bragg again, you know, you know, and it also highlights the heroism of this Private First Class in World War Two. But I do understand people are saying and it's not because people are trying to be contrarian. For some, and I had a friend that was explaining, you know, kind of their disagreement, they were saying that the move to erase these names and tear down these statues is not a move that is born of reconciliation. Because in order to have that mission objective, then you're basically having to go back and pick up in the scab and saying that all these same divisions are still there.

It has nothing to do with reconciliation. It's because they're communists. And when, for communists to be communists, there always has to be a boogeyman. There always has to be a grievance. There always has to be a struggle. They have to maintain control under the illusion of constant struggle. And they want complete and total subjugation. There's no repentance, there's no reconciliation, there is no mercy, there is no grace.

It has to be completely one and done all. And those critics are saying that by only partially kind of going halfway and changing the name, that he didn't pull it out by the root totally. Now, my understanding is that he's not legally allowed to change it fully all the way back to Braxton Bragg, from what somebody was explaining to me. And that's why Roland Bragg is why they went the way that they did. But I mean, regardless, I just think that what's interesting to note, and this is the irony in the left's cultural revolution, is back during, you know, the Civil War, you had the North and South even afterwards, that were more gracious towards each other than modern day progressives are towards each other, and even people on the other side of the ideological aisle.

Think about that. You had a nation that was at, we were at each other's throats, and we were destroying ourselves. And afterwards, some very, very magnanimous gracious moves were made in order to achieve national unity once again. And people then dealt with each other with a heck of a lot more grace, understanding, and support for reconciliation.

That does not exist today. The people on the left do not have that motive or thought in mind. This has nothing to do with being magnanimous. They want total destruction. They don't care about reconciliation. They don't care about rehabilitation.

They don't care about grace. They want total destruction, because that to them is the ultimate subjugation. They don't even care about converting people to their cause anymore. That used to be what the left cared about. They wanted to persuade people to think like they do. Now they don't even do that. They don't care about that anymore.

It's about just total destruction. That to them is the ultimate subjugation. The right cannot afford to make that mistake. And in fact, I think it's one of the reasons why the tent is so big, is that we haven't.

But I do think that that's it. It is a very interesting irony, and it's a lesson that's lost in all of this. All these people that argue about this issue, you know, they fail to realize that they lack the grace.

The reason that you cannot have that kind of national reconciliation today is because you have people who are too self-centered. They lack the grace to extend to others. They believe in the scarcity of greatness. So they gatekeep it. It's very interesting.

On the left, they're very bad about this. Very interesting. It's a very interesting psychological deep dive. But that's the whole reason why you had these monuments and you had these forts that were named what they were. It's because it was about that national reconciliation. We had to bring both sides together, and nobody wanted to discount what the families of those Confederate soldiers went through. It had nothing about, it was nothing about elevating or somehow enshrouding it. It had nothing to do with the way they were fighting into the national hearts and minds. It was about saying we recognize that you suffered losses and we want to go forward together.

That's what it was about. And these people are too stupid to understand that today. They don't get it.

They keep saying, well, too much time has passed. You don't need that anymore. I actually think it's a great reminder of this is what our nation went through. You know, not every statue is meant to be some sort of celebration of what someone did. In many instances, it's a reminder of what people went through or what people suffered. And it's an actual physical meatspace thing that provokes remembrance of that. But the left doesn't get it. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.