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Absurd Truth: Candy Corn Is Hated By Communists

Dana Loesch Show / Dana Loesch
The Truth Network Radio
October 27, 2023 3:40 pm

Absurd Truth: Candy Corn Is Hated By Communists

Dana Loesch Show / Dana Loesch

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October 27, 2023 3:40 pm

The Dana Show has the candy corn debate. Meanwhile, Author/Comedian JP Sears joins us to discuss his latest book, "Chomp Chomp Chomp".

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What happens when we die? From Angel Studios, the force behind Sound of Freedom and The Chosen comes an unprecedented deep dive into the phenomena of near-death experiences in the new movie After Death. After Death makes a courageous venture into a hotly debated mysterious subject by comparing near-death experience with cutting-edge scientific knowledge. Hear from experts in the fields of science, philosophy, and medicine, as well as first-hand experiences of people who have lived through death as they paint a fascinating picture of life in the next realm. This groundbreaking project responds to the soul's innate desire to find meaning in life and solace in the future.

Come see it for yourself or pay it forward by providing a free ticket for others to see the film. Leave your preconceptions at the door and prepare for a never-before-seen glimpse into what the next life could entail in After Death opening October 27th. Get your tickets today or pay it forward at slash dana. That's slash dana. After Death. The end is only the beginning.

Rated PG-13. Dana Lashes absurd truth podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so let's try the guy who tried to have a failed carjacking at Starbucks.

Starbutts as it is. This is Fox 35 Orlando whose website is slower than snails. A Florida man who was released from prison was arrested after he broke into a woman's home, stole her car, crashed it, and then tried to carjack another woman at a Starbucks drive-thru. The crime spree began in the early morning hours of October 24.

39-year-old Michael Prouty. He tried to rob a 7-11, then he broke into a woman's home in the villages, although he's not a villager, broke into her home in the villages, stole her purse, her cell phone, her car, then he was driving the stolen car, crashed into multiple cars, he was running from the cops, all this. Dash cam video like they were following him and he tried to carjack a chick in the Starbucks drive-thru like while they were following him.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. So he, there was another man that jumped out of the passenger side of another car and was fighting with him. But anyway, he's got, he got sent to, he was in prison prior, now he's going to go back.

So he's, he's going to be in for a while because he was, he was already out on probation and he had served six years prior. So man alive, just not, like I said, not the sharpest tool in the shed. Also, two Florida dudes got into a fight over beer. And one guy, we had a story of yesterday of a machete. Now we have a guy who has a hatchet and he got mad over a spilled beer.

This was in Pensacola. He hit his acquaintance with a hatchet several times during the argument over the beer, according to Escambia County Sheriff's Office. His name sounds like what it, I think it would make. Danny Tharp, right? In a way, sounds like you're going to hit something.

He was arrested and charged with attempted homicide. He has a really interesting mullet. He's like, got it real short on the top and then it's just wild and curly at the bottom. Like it is all party in the back. AKA the Camaro crash helmet, helmet. AKA the Kentucky waterfall.

AKA the Missouri compromise. It's the mullet. And they said, yes, he had no regard for human life, blah, blah, blah. He's just nuts. I mean, he gets mad and hit your friend with a hatchet. Danny Tharp.

Danny Tharp does. That's what happens. Let's see. I can't talk about this one. No, not going to do that.

And not this one. So they're going to have a Florida Man Games, WFLA. And do you know what one of the features is going to be, Kane, of the competition? Oh, boy, I can guess probably. Well, it is the first Florida Man Games and they're going to have an evading arrest obstacle course. That sounds right.

Mm hmm. They say it's going to be the most insane athletic showdown on earth. And the contest is going to be next. It can be this coming February in St. Augustine, Florida. And the evading arrest obstacle course will feature contestants jumping over fences and through yards while being chased by real police officers.

The cat five cash grab where they tried to grab money in a wind blowing booth and the self explanatory beer belly wrestling. Yeah. So you're going to have to be. I'm curious, though, as to the police that they're going to have participating in that, like how athletic you have to be depends on how athletic they are. Right.

You know, so it's not going to be fair if they got like the youngest people just fresh out the academy. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not I don't know. I'm just saying, is it going to be like real? You know, like, how's this going to work out?

I'm just curious. Let's see this. We got the Oh, no, I'm not doing this one either. And not doing this one.

I people need to stop doing inappropriate things in stores. But I will say that a Florida man jumped into an Epcot Lagoon on a $6,000 dare and now faces a lifetime ban from all the Disney properties. Because you can't jump into a lagoon like that.

They don't allow that. By the way, did you also remember the story of the family like didn't one of them get eaten by a gator at like a Florida at a Disney property? Why would you jump into where you know the Gators are? Do you love hiking or camping? Whether it's a short walk through the woods or an overnight stay along the trail, Caltech has the protection you need. For two decades, the folds and half Caltech sub 2000 carbine has been filling the pistol caliber carbine gap with options for several popular magazines including Glock Smith and Wesson and six hour the Caltech sub 2000 is much easier and less to take along sites are intuitive the stock is adjustable and field stripping is a breeze. Plus the sub 2000 can easily be disassembled for cleaning or inspection without extra tools to carry in your pack.

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I'm positive. So here's the question and it's a complete I mean, it's really a really well balanced poll. If ever there was one this one is and the questions are thus candy corn is your two options include one a delicious confection and two hated by communists.

Those are your options. So now Steve wanted to discount it when there were just six votes minutes ago. And we were winning by the delicious confection was winning by 80 something percent. Kane has probably already like voted with all I you know you did. I know you have as a ghost account. I have I know you have a ghost account. I know you totally voted with that ghost. I voted one time. You are such a liar. I voted there with your ghost account.

You'd literally put this up like I don't know a few minutes ago. There's what 60 votes now. And hated by communists is winning.

Now. Well, because communists hate candy corn. There are no wrong. That is not what you meant. Uh huh.

No, it isn't. You know that I hate candy corn. So you're trying to call me a communist. That's what they do hate it.

Is that what you were doing? True. Communists. There are communists that hate candy corn.

Yes. I'm just saying that is probably true. Just saying. But there are patriots that hate candy. I don't know any patriot that hates candy corn. You don't know me? Huh? You don't know? Do you hate candy corn?

Yes, I hate it. You can tell it's Friday. It is it's it is one of the most I will I will literally go down in a blaze of glory on this. It is a delicious confection.

Oh, 50 50. It is. What did you say?

It looks like someone's snaggletooth. Who's voting on this? Like what is wrong with people? Wax is not. Yes. When I was a kid. Look, it is joy that is in the shape of God knows what.

As you scream with anger. It's joy. It's corn. It's supposed to look like corn. Listen, when I was a kid, I loved candy corn. But whatever they're doing on how they're however they're making candy corn nowadays, I don't.

I'm not. No, I'm not a fan of candy corn. Are you getting the whatever brocks? I'm not sure what the what the the brand is. There's I've tried different brands of candy corn.

None of them are good. It's all delicious. There's no back unless it's even like the old candy corn that you find.

I don't know. And you try to eat and it breaks your teeth off. Still kind of good. No, I'm not saying that I've done that. But you know, I may have maybe Yeah, and your push pull. It's not a push pull.

Your push pull is definitely no. It's a regular I mean, now you're winning. I who's shoot. I'm dropping candy all over the place. Whose teeth look like this? What? Whose teeth look like this? It's the look, it's all yellow there in the bottom. And orange with that's like the inflamed gum. And then white is the tooth root. Tooth root gum and then yellow. So yeah, this is what you would call a food. You got it upside down.

Huh? No, you get the white is the root of the tooth. So the yellow part is delicious. The yellow part and the inflamed gum. Even Juan likes candy corn.

Everybody here except for you likes candy corn. What brand is that? I don't know. I'll try it right now. Want to have some? Just throw me one.

Throw me one. Really? Really? Yes.

What? Are you trying to take my head off? Oh my gosh, who can't catch? This is how you get ants.

This is how you get ants. Just okay. Oh, eat it.

Try it. Oh man, so good. I could eat this all day. So sweet. It's like your diabetes. All the sugar in the world is here in my hand. This one's a little more vanilla-y than waxy.

The ones I get. Oh, it's so good. You guys want me to throw candy corn at you too?

It's all right. Can I just throw candy corn at you? I don't prefer that. Like beads at Mardi Gras? No, no.

Oh man. That's how you get ants. It's sticking to the roof of your mouth.

And it's down on the back of your teeth. It's good. It's like a treat that just keeps on giving. No.

I don't know. That's too sweet. I can't even believe Juan eats that. You know what candy is horrible though? The Tootsie Roll.

What? I used to love the Tootsie Roll. You want to talk about wax? It looks like a robot turd.

It does. Looks like a chocolate candle. And they're never not stale.

Yeah, chocolate candle. They're never not stale. Have you tried to eat them? They're horrible. Yeah, I've had one fresh Tootsie Roll in my life.

The rest have been a risk to my dental work. And I chew it and I'm like, this is how it should have been. And then you never get it again. You're right.

It's amazing. All I'm telling you is this. I totally have a system like with trick or treaters. I'd be like, oh, does your mom or dad, do they have a CHL?

Go ask them. And then I make visible the king size candy bar. And you dress up that basket.

That's like for your A-listers. You got your king size candy basket. You got your big giant candy bars in there. Maybe put a little red bow. Maybe get one of them little light up pencils.

Put some stuff in there. And then just, you know, you make it fun for the kids by questioning their liberty. And, you know, asking if your mom and dad got a CHL.

I did have one kid that came back one year and was like, yeah, and the mom and dad brought it back and they both got their CHL. So he, I literally hooked him up. Like he got the light up pencil. It was like a zombie head and like king size candy bar. I mean, you know, this is so I get some people that are like, Dana, it's very, Halloween's very unchristian.

I disagree because I have people that come to me and I'm just like, it's like lazy evangelism. I have them and they want what I have, which is candy. And maybe you've got to like answer some questions for me if I'm going to give you the candy that I purchased because Dana does not do cheap candy. I'm not the cheap candy house. I'm the house that has the fog machine.

I have the giant werewolf, which you're going to see. I really wanted it up all week. But Chris says that that's too much.

Is it though? Because I'm really thinking I'm going to dye his fur green and turn him into the Grinch for Christmas. I'm going to leave that thing up on my porch. It'll be like the Christmas Grinch.

Totally same thing. But the you know, we have all of that stuff. It's a great get people coming you to your door. You can maybe slip a pocket constitution. Like what Hillsdale was going out segue.

What Hillsdale was, you know, given out. Okay, give them one of them pocket constitutions, right? They were trying to get them in the hands of a million people. Oh my gosh, Halloween people coming up trick or treat. Oh my goodness.

Do you guys know what natural rights are? What's right? And then it's we're the fun house. Oh, you don't want to have fun. You just want a you know, trick or treat.

Oh, here's your candy. You don't want to participate and turn it into a civics lesson. That's a bummer. A bummer. So anyway, that's how we do it.

That's how we approach it. That is really sweet, though. Still, it's still given the candy corn. Do you want more? You want me to throw more?

Did you lose that other kernel? Because that's how we get ants. I don't know. That's you chucked it. I didn't chuck it. I threw it. I have a strong arm.

You like caught it five seconds after it flew past your face. It's official. It is official. All right. So and Lorraine agrees with you.

So two communists there. That's okay. It's all right. It's all right. What is slander and libel?

It's not either any of those legal thing there. One thing one last quick thing. I'm gonna stop talking about the candy corn. My only thing is that sometimes you get ones that look like this. Now what happened in quality control?

Right here? What happened with the with the quality control to get that it looks like it was ripped out of a witch's mouth. I don't this bothers me. I'm gonna I'm gonna get anywhere. Because it's good. I'm gonna collapse after this. You know, though, so I'm gonna get real hyped up and then I'm just gonna fall on the floor like Beavis candy has the same effect on me.

It's horrible. What happens when we die from Angel Studios the force behind sound of freedom and the chosen comes an unprecedented deep dive into the phenomena of near death experiences in the new movie after death after death makes a courageous venture into a hotly debated mysterious subject by comparing near death experience with cutting edge scientific knowledge here from experts in the fields of science, philosophy and medicine as well as firsthand experiences of people who have lived through death as they paint a fascinating picture of life in the next realm. This groundbreaking project responds to the soul's innate desire to find meaning in life and solace in the future. Come see it for yourself or pay it forward by providing a free ticket for others to see the film. Leave your preconceptions at the door and prepare for a never before seen glimpse into what the next life could entail in after death opening October 27. Get your tickets today or pay it forward at slash Dana that's slash Dana after death.

The end is only the beginning rated PG 13. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So Brazil scientists are developing a new vaccine for cocaine addiction. It's called stop snorting, blinking cocaine, you dumb asses. It's a great name for it. It's that's not that like that. That's not the technical name. But that's like what what they're gonna call it.

I think in marketing. It's called Calyx collects coca. It's the tech I really a vaccine. I need a vaccine to stop being stupid. Okay, here it is. It's a punch in the throat.

Super affordable. Really gonna have a vaccine to stop this can't even deal with us. So they're saying that Gen Z's anti sex crusade is gonna kill good movies and TV.

And they did this study. They say their buzz kills 51% of respondents aged 10 to 24 instead of they want movies and TV shows about not about the the romance like they don't like the item. I've never seen Harry Met Sally when Harry Met Sally. So is that like a? Is that a tawdry movie? No, no, it's not tawdry or anything. It's just a romantic movie. Yeah. Okay. So they were joking instead of love. Actually, it's like actually, or it's maybe just because everything new is blows.

I mean, there's also that, you know, I mean, just think that there's a lot of stuff out there. It's just not good anymore. Also, let's see here. Pull this up. The I don't know why they changed this. Why did they change the name? So this this hotel does it they called it the hotel chalet. And it was the Chattanooga Choo Choo lodgings. They refurbished it. That's a pretty big name change. It's in was in Chicago.

Why did they change that name? Why do I care? I don't. I don't care.

No idea. By the way, it's a feelings run high over candy corn. People who are wrong hate candy corn.

People who love America and are not communists and have amazing taste. They love candy corn. It's totally fair.

It is it is a perfect Halloween treat. And apparently the Associated Press says that there's a big debate over it. And it's just there's people who are wrong and then people who are completely 1000% correct. I don't feel I'm wrong about it. Oh, you don't.

Wait, I'm sorry. I can literally drink dirty water that you call bacteria tea, but you won't eat delicious. I won't eat wax as candy and candy. It's delicious. It's a delicious confetti can wax. It is a delicious fall confection, sir. But you'll drink you'll literally drink bacteria. And yes, your tea terrier body needs bacteria. Your body also needs candy corn. It does, too. It's a food group.

I have some right now. You know what? It is not wax. It is a delicious confection, sir. Stop with your propaganda.

Next, you're going to tell me you like Hamas. My gosh. Oh, yeah, we're going there. It did. Oh, by the way, a garbage collector died because he got shot from a gun in a bag. It's not the best. Is it hunters? Was it hunters? Was it in?

Just wondering. Stick with us. We've got more in store. Welcome back to the program.

Dana Lash here with you bottom of this third hour. And as always, you can listen coast to coast around the country. You can watch the simulcast of the radio program as well where we talk and also look at the camera at the same time.

And you can catch that channel 347 direct TV, YouTube, Facebook, all good things. So I'm glad that this next person is on earth. He's one of the most passive aggressive sarcastic people I think I've ever seen in my life. And when I first started watching his videos, you didn't know whether or not he was serious at first. And then it like started the realization creeped up on you that I think he thinks like us, I think because he was just so consistent and never broke anything. I mean, he was just just very in character. And it was it's good stuff. But JP Sears has a trillion 11,000 videos online where he is a one man in living color show.

And he hits everything I loved. Actually, I was just watching one of his videos where he was talking about if the alphabet people took over government, and I could not stop watching the hand of the purple haired person that he was being because it was a kitten puppet as a glove. And I just did I couldn't get past it. But he's got a book out and I have it here.

Actually, let me wait. It's a prop to chomp chomp chomp the snap fast challenge and it's with brave books and JP joins us now via Skype also from the great Republic of Texas JP good. It's good to meet you. Welcome. Dana, thank you for having me on is great to meet you.

Of course. So I first off, I have to ask you because you you have your background in comedy. And I like your approach to these issues because nothing that I feel like the way that you approach it nothing could ever actually be construed as being malicious to people.

It's just hysterical. Tell me about like, did you ever think you ever really always did? I don't know if it's maybe a political angle or a current event angle. But how did that when did that kind of kick off? And you started focusing more on that? Yeah, I used to, you know, there is no politics in my comedy, and I wasn't even wasn't interested in politics whatsoever. But what changed that, you know, now I like to use my comedy to stand up for freedom and freedoms weirdly become a political issue in the United States of America. So that started spring of 2020. You know, they they launched the whole COVID lockdown kind of thing. And first time in my lifetime, I was seeing freedoms in America be eroded away.

And I, you know, I know a little bit about history. So I realized like, where these patterns of freedom erosion could go, if we allow it. So just following the natural instincts of my heart, I started using my comedy content as a way to stand for freedom and using the sword of satire to help slice through the psychological scar tissue of the propaganda lies, hypocrisy and corruption to hopefully let the light of truth shine free. And most of all, hopefully get people to do a little bit more of their own thinking.

Yeah. And I think you've been very successful at that. We're talking with our friend JP Sears, who has a new it's a children's book out.

It's about peer pressure, chomp, chomp, chomp, the snap fast challenge. What you you were you were using comedy to make that message right as comedy was. A lot of people wondered if comedy was dying, because everybody is so offended. I think people find a power in being offended over everything.

So has that time passed as the pendulum swung? Can we be can things be funny again? Yeah, by the way, the things they always could have been funny. It's just a matter of do people silence themselves? Do the comedians succumb to the fear of cancel culture? And I, I can't say the true thing because it might offend someone.

I think it's bouncing back, though. You know, we always were allowed to laugh. Nobody can take our right to laugh away. So it was always there. By the way, when there is a drought of comedy about what's going on in the world, people become hungrier for it. They appreciate it more.

It's pretty beautiful. And personally, I think it seems like we've reached the point of peak offendedness. Because it's gotten so ridiculous, so absurd. We have a lot of work to do.

But it seems like the pendulum is swinging back. And you mentioned people get a sense of power from being offended. And that's what they've done. And we have a culture of people who have been trained to be victims and get a sense of power. But that's artificially flavored power. It's actually disempowering. But they just believe, oh, this disempowering thing I'm doing, this is empowering for me. So I think people have, we've not only seen so many ridiculous examples of people being offended and, you know, self victimized in culture that we see how ridiculous it is.

But also people have tried it enough that they've had enough experience to realize, it doesn't work. I don't feel empowered. I don't feel happier. I'm not living a better life because I figure out creative ways to get offended about anything. So I think we're swinging back in a good direction.

I hope so. Because half the time, I can't tell anymore if what I'm looking at is like a real article of news, or if it's satire, because everything is so dumb. Like, for instance, I've got to bring this up with you, because you and I are very like minded on, I mean, some people might say vaccines, I say clod shots. I mean, you know, it's kind of all, you know, I mean, one side or the other. But I it's like they feel as though I guess that the vaccine was so successful that now they're trying to figure out what else can they make vaccines for and I hands to sky, it's an actual real story. So in Brazil, and I we just talked about this in our headline segment, they're developing a new vaccine JP for cocaine addiction. Now, I would just think that it would be to not do it. But no, no, no, there's going to be a vaccine for everything now.

And I feel like that's, we're going to start seeing this for a multitude of different things. If you have something that you're doing, that you should maybe correct or not do, there's a vaccine for that, I just kind of wanted to get your take on it. That is, I mean, it's part of the, what I would call it, it's an agenda intentional or not, I think it's intentional to weaken people. So instead of using your self responsibility, let's get you to rely on this product, this is the way you can be happy, or healthy or accomplish what you want, you need to depend on this thing outside of yourself that comes from criminal organizations, our pharmaceutical companies. But to your point, like one way to like, you know, overcome a cocaine addiction is to not do it like that. But absolutely. So and then, you know, these weight loss shots, it's like, well, you know, like, also exercise and eating clean foods can do that. So to me, it this cocaine vaccine, which is hilarious, by the way, it absolutely looks like it's a predictable part of the pattern of teaching people to be weak.

And the way you get people to be weak is to get them to depend on someone else, which means you teach people to not use the superpower called self responsibility. Yeah, absolutely. I want to ask you about your book, Chomp Chomp Chomp with Brave Books. They do such good stuff.

I love the art that Brave, that they do the illustrations that they have. So this is JP's book. And this is all about peer pressure, which very timely considering what we all just went through as a world for like two and a half years.

That was the longest 15 days ever. That was actually the motivation of it. I mean, I think kids protecting kids and nurturing kids, that's the most important job to do on the planet. And we all know peer pressure can be a force of nature for kids. And now with social media, it's even more forceful. But you look at the world the last three years, and I was just looking at adults and realizing they didn't get the message about peer pressure when they were a kid because they're all succumbing to it. And of course, adults are coming to peer pressure what we've seen, you know, we call that obedience and compliance, where people are betraying their own thinking, they're betraying their own heart, and they're exercising cowardice to conform rather than courage in order to stand for what's true to them. So kids need these messages because we're we see so much kids programming shows, Hollywood, Disney, public schools, engineered to, I think, weaken kids teach them to betray their thinking, reward them for going along with the herd and intimidate them and punish them for actually being a free thinking individual.

So I wanted to illustrate the consequences of succumbing to peer pressure, but also with the redemption in this story, illustrate the reward of exercising courage to do your own thinking and being true to yourself. I love that JP Sears, the book is Chomp Chomp Chomp, the snap fast challenge and people can also find you on And I suggest you go and watch all of his videos because they are hysterical. You do you have like a whole costume area? Like you have like so many wigs and props.

I have my father would be ashamed of me if he came into my prop closet like JP what that's a lot of women's wigs and suits. So yeah, I have got too much space dedicated to that. Well, I keep doing what you're doing because it's I mean, it's just it's it's funny. And I think we need some of that, especially with this that like the ridiculousness of everything today.

I mean, you kind of have to bring absurdity to laugh at the absurdity. So thanks for that. JP Sears Awaken with JP. Good to talk with you. Love to have you back. Thank you. Thank you, Dana. I'd love to. Great to see you too. Take care. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-10-27 16:09:09 / 2023-10-27 16:21:55 / 13

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