Absurd Truth: Biden's...Chin??

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I've heard of things getting heated in the carpool line at school, but I never heard of getting this heated. A Florida Man pulls a switchblade on moms in a school carpool line during an argument with his wife, say police. Again, after allegedly threatening three moms during school drop off with a switchblade when they got into an apparent argument with his wife.

According to Lady Lake Police, John Henry Birch Jr. was arrested and charged with three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, one kind of assault after the incident unfolded outside of the Villages Elementary of Lady Lake School. Now, how is that the Villages Elementary School? Because none of these people are 50. How did I don't get this?

I'm very confused about how they named stuff there. Alright, so the incident was a 40 in the morning, the three women went to drop off their kids at school together. One of them got into an argument with a woman during drop off.

One of the moms said a woman stepped on her foot, it escalated, it got aggressive. And neck tatted daddy showed up with his switchblade knife. He jumped out of his truck and begin to yell. And he says, I ain't afraid to go back to prison.

I'm gonna slice your throat. According to one of the women, she told police during the argument, he went back got a switchblade. And then the women said Birch told them he knows what their kids look like and where they go to school.

Birch's wife said the women said that, well, apparently one became worried withdrew their kids from class etc. So yeah, you can't be doing that stuff. Okay.

You can't. I don't know. But he said that he was approached by the women. I don't know. It sounds like he's a little bit of aggressive. So he's in a lot of trouble. Good grief. Why are people like this?

I don't I don't know you're asking me. A Florida man blames bad dreams for damaging his brother in law's car at 1am. According to deputies.

This is in Marion County, Florida. Florida man found himself behind bars after a late night encounter where he drunkenly quote unquote bumped into his future brother in law's car causing hundreds of dollars worth of damage. And he said that he was at his relatives house at one in the morning because he was having bad dreams Hector Diaz he was having some bad dreams and he got himself charged with felony criminal mischief after the incident. The sister called the cops after hearing a noise outside their house she looked out saw a brother walking around the fiance's car. When the fiance woke up woke up in the next morning both of his side mirrors were broken hanging from the car. So yeah, it sounds like it's more than a bump. I mean, he looks like he's kind of a hefty dude.

But I mean, you know, that looks like a lot of work to make that happen. Let's see a Florida man tells deputies. These aren't my pants. When they found drugs inside of the pants he was wearing. Santa Rosa County, Florida man was arrested after deputies found drugs in his pants. According to the arrest report. Myra Hamilton 47 was also homeless.

I was arrested on two drug charges in Santa Rosa County. They were serving a warrant on him. He and when they found him inside his tent, they hadn't come out. He kept saying those aren't my pants that he was wearing. They were his pants.

The rest of us report said he's on in jail on almost $9,000 bond. Do you love hiking or camping? Whether it's a short walk through the woods or an overnight stay along the trail. And while you're looking for a home, you may want to take a look at some of the other things including Glock Smith and Wesson and six hour the keltex sub 2000 is much easier and less to take along sites are intuitive the stock is adjustable and field stripping is a breeze. Plus the sub 2000 can easily be disassembled for cleaning or inspection without extra tools to carry in your pack.

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We'll have something that we do not Make it clear. We do not seek. We do not seek to have American troops fighting in Russia or fighting against Russia. Why don't you do me a favor? That was the president from last night. I'm so glad that we're not going to have troops in Russia. I mean, the hell, Joe.

These are these United States. I want you to just like get a screen grab at him and just put it side by side real quick. I got a question for the people watching the simulcast. And again, you can listen to the radio show across the country. You can stream the radio show and you can also have the fun treat of watching the simulcast.

Some hair days are better than others. So as Juan does that, I just I just I noticed something yesterday. And then the Internet does what the Internet does best.

And that was deliver memes. So, yeah, you can throw that up on the screen. We can half and half. We can do it.

We can do a two and two. Because I'm I want everyone watching the simulcast. I'm curious about this. It's very apparent when you look at the footage of him on the plane of Joe Biden on the plane. Was that last night that he was on the plane? And he was all like real tired.

And he could. And I noticed that then because the lighting was real harsh. Someone had a camera, obviously, and they had a big giant camera light with them. And I saw it then. So here's my question.

I want you to look at the images. And he's going to all while Juan's also getting the airplane image. He's also getting. Oh, man, you can really see what I'm talking about there.

Probably even better than even the Oval Office one. Here's the question that I have as he gets that ready to rock. And remember, he was on the plane just yesterday. So there's not a lot of it. It looks like they made him up or puffed his face up when he was to the Oval Office address last night. I noticed that. Here's my question. Why does he have chin balls? I'm not wrong. I need you to look at it, Kane.

Look at the chin balls. Can we not? I don't need this. I don't need to see that. Yeah, I had to.

So you do, too, because you're the producer. I saw that yesterday and the memes are still are still out. I saw a picture of it and somebody photoshopped his chin in Nancy Pelosi's swimsuit when she was on her European vacation on the beach.

I mean, I've seen some cleavage before my time, but I've never seen it on like actually physically a part of a man's chin. I've got questions. How does that happen? Number one, why does it happen? Number two. And why couldn't they fix it?

Number three. I have never seen anything like this. Anybody have any ideas? Now, see, this is where the chat comes into play, because now they're all scheming. I just I couldn't take my eyes off it, man. You got chin balls, Jack. What's up?

Come on, dude. Some of Twitter thinks that's a mask that Biden was wearing on the plane. That he was wearing a chin ball mask.

Yeah, that he was wearing a mask. Maybe he's got like super squirrel capabilities. And he I don't know, like, you know how when you were a kid, you'd put a lot of gum in your mouth. Maybe he's got some room down there, you know, you know, some people wear a belt bag. He's got a chin strap. I don't know. I'm just like, I don't think I'm trying to figure out how that happens, because his face never looked like that before.

OK, I can almost I can literally almost hear my mom typing. It's probably because it's a stand in President Dana. Stop it. Don't you message her and encourage wearing a mask. But I mean, I don't get it. Why?

How do you have that? I mean, you got a normal chin. You're a dude. All you do is got normal chins. Yeah.

Peter Griffin. Yeah. Like, I don't I don't understand that. I just don't get it. So I I don't know.

I just that stays at the United States. I know he said something there, but I could not get past the chin situation. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right.

So for crying out loud, Canada is going to legally legalize medically assisted dying for people who are addicted to drugs. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're like, Dana, this is you can't let something like this pass this. Can I eat?

It is like for real Friday. You want me to be super real? If somebody wants to just go ahead and be a self-cleaning oven. I mean, I don't want to legalize it, but I'm done with stupid people. Maybe it means fewer stupid people.

I might have more grace later on. Right now, though, I don't. I really don't.

I really don't know. I mean, it's sad. Some drug users, user activists have likened the move to eugenics. They say Canada should be funding more harm reduction. Or we all know that drugs are addictive. Maybe don't do drugs. Maybe stop. Stop it.

You don't need to have government money come and spend for harm reduction. I'll slap you for free. See, it's problem solved. You know, the problem is not enough people were whipped when they were kids. You got to get whooped, whether it's the wooden spoon or something. Spare the rod and spoil a child.

Now we got a bunch of spoiled child. A mysterious mermaid globster. I don't even know what this is.

Has washed up in Papua New Guinea. Nobody knows what it is. It looks gross. It looks like a giant snake with a mermaid tail and it's nasty and it's gross and it's covered with white goo. And I'm just pretty sure that this is an alien and this is how it starts to get away from it.

It looks like a giant lobster tail and I hate bug me. All right. So soaking in a hot tub has the same health benefits as going for a 30 minute jog. Say people who don't think, as I do, that it's human soup because it is. You're sitting in soup. It's a soup of you.

That's what it is. Soaking in a hot tub has the same health benefits as going for a 30 minute jog. I mean, that's fine.

I don't like I don't like jacuzzis either, because you know why? Because it's a soup. It's a soup of you. You are making a stew of yourself. You see. Right. You guys all have a new perspective on this now. And you're seasoning yourself.

Bath salts. You're literally seasoning yourself. If a giant if it were like Attack on Titans and some titans came in, they'd be like, thank you for preparing yourself for a meal for me. That's exactly what this would be like. Let's see. Scientists discover an off switch for Shigella bacterial infections.

We could treat diseases before they even begin, say scientists. Do we have an off switch for some people talking, particularly brand new people who are into politics on Twitter? St. Louis Zoo elephant Randy dies after a rowdy dog scares her to death and she collapsed. Why was a rowdy dog at the zoo in the first place? And a loose dog got into the zoo and ran around.

I mean, how does that even happen? They have staff there. As far as the house. I still hate everybody there. The entire House of Representatives, as the world burns, they've showed that they've really got their fingers on the pulse of everything. If you don't dislike every single person involved in this at this point, I don't know what's wrong with you.

I'm sorry. I want a Jim Jordan speaker if we're not going to have you know, if we got to do this now, because I still think that Matt Gates is one of the dumbest people in the house by deciding to do all of this. I'm going to blow up the speaker ship. Well, hell no, I don't have no substitute.

I don't got a plan B. Where's the where's and now look at it. We're in this mess. This is an issue, by the way, that Republicans should be owning. Do you see any of these Republicans out there? Any of these people fighting for speakership out there pushing to go after Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar? Can you imagine if we actually had the entity that we control in D.C., the House, and we went after some of these Democrats who were siding with Hamas? Now, I'm not talking about criticizing Netanyahu or the judicial reforms that everyone in Israel was arguing over.

I'm talking about they literally do not believe that Israel has a right to exist as a sovereign entity, which is why they've happily participated in different protests where they scream about from the river to the sea, which is a genocidal chant. I absolutely you could have had the House putting pressure on this. You could have the House demanding that the president of the United States address people in his own party, especially when Rashida Tlaib was calling out Joe Biden by name day before last. And instead, every single day, one of these people are power jockeying and people are dragging it on and on and on. It is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen in my political career.

And it's coming from Republicans. I don't care if I have friends that like Matt Gaetz and they're like, well, Dana, I like I don't give a rat's ass if you like Matt Gaetz. This is stupid.

Whether or not you like Matt Gaetz, whether or not you like what his record has no bearing on the fact that him deciding to do this without a backup plan was stupid. Are we smart people? Isn't that why we're constitutionalist? Because we're smart. We're smart people because we believe that you should always be prepared. Is that not correct? Because that's why I'm a constitutionalist. I don't like going into things unprepared. That's weak because then you find yourself in compromising positions where you got to negotiate from a position of weakness. That's it.

So what's what's happening here? They need to they need to get this straight. I'm so tired of working. I don't care who you want. I am.

So all these people are ego, fellating, fame seekers, all of them. Every one of them. I'm mad at all of them. There's what? Third round now.

Third round. Are you kidding me? We should be owning this issue. You should have had a speaker and a house say have a have a press conference this morning. Actually, they should have had it last night right after his address and say, no, Mr. President, we are not going to be tying Ukraine to Israel. No, Mr. President, we are not going to be sending one hundred million dollars in aid to the terrorist government of Gaza. No, Mr. President, we are not going to be the world's bank, especially Mr. President, when our southern border is wide open.

No, Mr. President, we're not doing it. They could have. That's what they should have done. The reason you didn't see that last night and the reason you haven't seen it today and the reason you haven't seen a single damn House Republican talk about it is because they're all power jockeying right now for speaker. That's why. You don't dislike them enough. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.