Absurd Truth: Kamala's Lavatory Project

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so I got a couple here. Florida sinkhole. It's a Florida sinkhole. It swallowed one man and it decided it wanted to come back for more. This is weird.

So this was in March 2013. Sad story. A man was swallowed when a sinkhole literally opened beneath his bed in Seffner, Florida, like literally right under his bed.

Ate him. And so now Hillsborough County Fire Rescue, the sinkhole has reopened for the third time in 10 years. Now, they told people it's safe to remain in your houses, but stay away from the site until the hole is repaired. Can you repair a sinkhole though? They just put a giant fence around it.

I mean, can you repair it? This guy literally was asleep in his bedroom. And the hole opened up and swallowed his bed with him in it.

And his brother tried to save him but couldn't. They never recovered the body. Yeah, they literally never recovered the body. That's according to WFTS, the local network there. So they declared the ground around the property to be so unstable, they had to demolish that guy's house and two other neighboring houses.

And they put a plaque there by where it happened, but they've never been able to recover his body. It's like they're there. I mean, that's just one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.

So watch the flip now. See, I always thought when I was younger that I was gonna have to worry about how to get out of quicksand. How to put out a fire on myself, you know, stop, drop and roll. And quicksand like those were the things that I always thought I needed to be concerned about. Now I'm like, what we were never told about sinkholes. Right?

Didn't you think you were gonna have a lot more problem with quicksand than you have? Yeah, it's like that series outer range. If you remember that series on Amazon. Yeah, what happened to that series? Is it? I don't know.

I don't think it went to a second season. But that giant is that the one with the Berlin? Yeah, Berlin. Yep. Yeah.

And this this whole must go on forever as well if they've never recovered the body. Have you seen if you can see the photo in the simulcast that one is showing what gets me is that it's like such a perfectly round hole. I mean, it looks like it was drilled out. It's really weird.

I'm not saying it's aliens. But I got some Yeah, I got some more Florida man a woman to do this one. A Florida man through throws a barbecue grill at deputies and strikes cars with a tire iron in a road rage fit. If it's a road rage fit, where's your barbecue grill? So this Florida guy is behind bars. He had got had a tantrum on the road. He intentionally rammed into other cars. He struck them with a tire iron and then threw a barbecue at deputies. Brevard County.

It was Tuesday morning yesterday morning in Cocoa. And they said that Raymond Hoffman is in custody. He faces a number of charges. And he was very upset. He parked his Chevy Tahoe in the middle of the street, ran into cars as they tried to go around him. And then he got out of his car and began hitting passing cars with a tire iron. He broke the driver's side window of a truck. The tire iron got stuck in the glass. Deputies shared a photo online.

I mean, that's nuts. Other people were calling 911. He also had a nail gun and he was threatening people at the scene. When they arrived, they found him armed with a crowbar. And they told him to drop it. Then he moved to deputies, said you're going to have to kill me. Then right as he said that he threw the crowbar on the ground and tried to flee, it didn't happen. And then he threw a chair and a barbecue at the deputies. I got to tell you, I may have dropped him when he did that.

You know, I'm just saying. So he's in custody on all the charges, basically. It's ready for home defense, backcountry hiking, or anywhere you need a compact 12-gauge shotgun. The KS7 is lightweight with a magazine capacity of 6 plus 1 or 7 plus 1, depending on shell size.

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Kel-TecWeapons.com. Well, it's a good thing that, you know, the President and Vice President are focusing on what matters right now. And as you know, some of the things, I actually put this at 1230 and I mean to have it now. The Vice President of the United States, she's upset about the bathrooms on domestic flights, ladies and gentlemen. It's her actual account.

It's not a parody, I checked. She tweeted last night at 530pm, quote, The majority of domestic flights do not have accessible restrooms. This is absolutely unacceptable. Our administration will soon announce a solution to help end this inequity. That he doesn't have it. You can't sit here and use inequity for everything.

It's not that's not how vocabulary works. But aside from that, what problem does she have with bathrooms on domestic flights? Yeah, when has she ever been on commercial airlines? What problem does she have?

You know, the problem that I have is people who pee on the floor. What is up with that? You want to hear a funny story. So one time I was on my way to New York, as a business class, I can't remember what I was going up there.

For I think it was like a primary caucus thing. I don't remember. I had TV to do. I was on the airfoil. I was on the airfoil. I was like the my way up there.

And, you know, I was with a is a smaller plane. And I was with a, you know, basically one of the few women, all the dudes were in suits is like a clearly a business flight. And I thought, Oh, they're all in suits. bathrooms should be relatively clean because you guys if you have ever listened to the show for longer than a year, I have a thing.

Public restrooms are disgusting plane restrooms even more so. But I'm like, everybody's in suits. I mean, they seem professional.

Should be all right. You know, I'm not saying that people aren't in suits are professional, but my thought was they're in a suit. They probably don't want to get dirty.

You know what I mean? Nope, nope, nope, walk into the restroom. And it was as though the parting of the seas had just occurred and everything was now coming back into its natural form. There was such a spray all over the entire classroom. It's like someone went in there and lost total control of their Willy. I have no idea what was going on in there. And it was to the point where the floor is not supposed to be slippery.

I mean, in fact, it's designed to offset against something like that. But such was the mess that it was. And I slipped at one point, literally as I walked in there, and I hit the door really hard to catch myself. But I didn't want to alarm anyone. So I did you know, very courteously I yelled out, Oh, no, it's just it's, I just slipped on some urine. It is I'm okay. I just yelled it. And then I realized, wait, that's not enough information. Because I don't want people to think that it's my urine that I slipped on.

So I added the cav. It's not my urine that I slipped on. It's someone else's urine.

I yelled it out, because I didn't want there to be any confusion, you know. Anyway, that's the only problem that I have with restrooms on planes. So she says, this is the Vice President, Vice President, burdened by what has been the majority of domestic flights. What does she mean accessible restrooms? Does she mean like handicap accessible? Does she think you should be able to take your wheelchair like all the way through the aisles and then right up into the plane bathroom?

Right? Because that's not how that works. I mean, you don't even think they your wheelchair goes below.

It goes into baggage. Has she literally ever? I mean, if you want to talk about accessibility, I got a point to raise. Can most people actually afford plane tickets anymore because they're so broke because of her administration?

You want to talk about accessibility? It seems like it. Are they why are they all of a sudden? Why is she talking about transportation stuff? Isn't that convenient and weird? Are they trying to help Pete?

Is this something to help put booty juice out? I mean, genuine question. I mean, I know plane bathroom can accommodate a wheelchair. They don't they don't have they don't have those. I think the real problem actually are people who blink vertically like that dude that was on that flight that that one chick was said he is not real.

That seems like that's the bigger problem here. You know, just just what? I'm just wondering. And now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. All right, so we have like three Chinese China headlines in a row CCP headlines. China based hackers breached US government and email accounts according to Microsoft and the White House. They breached it at two dozen organizations including a number of United States government agencies and an apparent spying campaign aimed at acquiring sensitive information. According to statements from the aforementioned Microsoft and White House late yesterday, the full scope is being investigated but officials and Microsoft have been quietly scrambling to assess the impact and contain the fallout. They said it was first detected the first they were first detected in the State Department. They said they reported a suspicious activity to Microsoft. And apparently hackers were also detected targeting a small number of federal agencies and a handful of official email accounts at each agency. And a hack that was aimed at specific officials multiple sources familiar with the investigation said they and they successfully breached two executive branch agencies including the State Department. And they also targeted an agency on Capitol Hill, but they don't know if they were successful with that.

That's kind of frightening, right? So the luxury chain Bulgari has apologized to China for listing Taiwan as a country after backlash. Bulgari looks like it's spelled with a B instead of a BU. But Bulgari has become the latest international brand to apologize. China claims self-reliant Taiwan is its territory even though Taiwan is its own country. Bulgari posted an apology on what weibo?

China's version of Twitter saying that it steadfastly and always respected China's sovereignty and territorial integrity. So the Italian luxury brand turned into a giant female copulatory organ when China decided to pound their tiny little fist on the table, right? Know what it is? So Bulgari, I've never shopped there. Not like I'm going to.

Definitely not like I'm going to now. But stop being cowards, you people. Vanlords. This is a real thing. It's a new form of urban encampment. So accessory dwelling units. This is a new way to force people into perpetual renting. They're even advertising this. So apparently there's, you know, like particularly in LA and Santa Barbara, there's tons of rental RVs that have appeared. Government found a way to house people who come in illegally. And then you have other people who get RVs at an auction and then they tow them to somewhere and they're not totally legal and they rent them out. And like perpetuity.

That's weird. We got a lot more on the way. Stick with us. Don't go anywhere. Megan Rapinoe picked a fight with Dave Chappelle over trans rights. I saw this picture of her and I was like, Is that Jack White? But it wasn't. She said, Why is she still talking about this?

I was trying to somebody made the point that she's trying to move into culture. And I and there's something to be said with Oh my gosh, Juan. If you're watching the simulcast, Juan just nailed it. Dude, it's Jack White. It's Jack White.

That's who it is. She's because she can't play she can't play saga forever. So she's how does she remain relevant?

She's got to move into the commentary cultural sphere. But she was saying, Oh, Dave Chappelle making jokes about trans people directly leads to violence. Shut up. No, it doesn't.

It does not. Do you know who what leads to violence, like trans people taking guns up and shooting up Christian schools that leads to violence? You know, if you want to talk about violence, let's talk about that. Or what was the other person that just armed themselves and tried shooting somebody up? The other Oh, they were trying to say, Well, it wasn't trans.

He was a cross dresser. I was reliably informed by the same people that that was the same. So you know, just saying. So she's trying to she's trying to say that if you make jokes about it, it leads to violence. She's one of those people who think that words are violence. Words are not violence. Violence is violence.

Words are words. And she's also I love someone said she looks like a gayer version of David Spade. And I'm not going to be able to unsee that now. It's actually so what Dave Chappelle is responsible for all of it. According to her, he's responsible for everything. He's so powerful, so powerful.

He can make a joke and it just incites a wave of violence across the world. Good heavens. It's hysterical.

It is it's hysterical. She also was saying that she's totally fine with trans players like a dude taking a position on a woman's team. She might want to be careful about that. You know, she noticed that she was all fine defending and complaining about women in sports when she was making bank on it. But now apparently that you know, the sun is setting on her professional career. Now she's going to switch it up.

I mean, didn't you get beat by a bunch of high school boys? Maybe you shouldn't be saying stuff like that because she would not have a career if it were not that. I just she's one of those people who I think she says stupid stuff like AOC and gets attention. We're like other people. In some ways she reminds me of like the female version of Tate. For real.

So this pull this up. YMCA accused a teen girl of hate speech because she didn't want a dude in the girl's locker room. A teenage girl, a minor, a 16 year old teenage girl. She's a member of the YMCA spy swim team. She into the girls locker room to change out of her swimsuit. She noticed some dudes in the locker room of the transgender individuals.

She informed the head swim coach and he said there's nothing I can do about it. They held their monthly parent meeting where the issue of the girls locker room being used by dudes was brought up. And this the chief executive officer of the YMCA attended.

They told parents Oh, there's nothing that can be done. So the parents asked that the YMCA could ask the trends, you know, the dudes to maybe use at least the family changing area. You know, but the dudes got to throw their thing around in the women's locker room. Apparently, the YMCA staff said that they could not do that because it's discrimination. It's discrimination against the dudes, but apparently not discrimination against the girls, particularly the minor girls. Parents then asked the YMCA, they could send out a notification that dudes were using the girls locker room. The YMCA staff said they couldn't do that because it's discrimination against the law. So the daughter was like, I don't understand how this is happening.

And when the coach was asked about it, he apparently laughed and said transgender people have been around for a long time. The daughter said that's not the question I asked. So long story short, she ended up getting bounced. She was she was told that her disagreement was hate speech.

She didn't say anything hateful. And that she was asked to leave the pool area. So you have the coach Alex Totura and YMCA, they were colluding to expose minor girls to naked adult men. That sounds like predator behavior. So the YMCA and swim coach Alex Totura, T-O-T-U-R-A, were colluding, conspiring, someone would say, to protect adult men and their actions of getting naked in front of minor girls in this YMCA locker room. That sounds like pedophilia. It sounds like predator behavior. I mean, that's just my First Amendment free speech right of observation. If you disagree with me being that I'm a woman, that's discrimination and it's a violation of the law. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.