1 Corinthians 7:1-28 - Part B

Singleness is good if it asks celibacy. Second, being single is good, but it can also be tempting. Third, a single lifestyle is wrong if you're married. And number four, both singleness and marriage are gifts from God and should be treated as such. The world tries to dictate what love and relationships look like. But today on Connect with Skip Heitzig, Skip shares with you what God has to say about marriage, divorce, and singleness.

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Get your But God CD collection today when you give online securely at connectwithskip.com slash offer or call 800-922-1888. Okay, we're in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 as we join Skip Heitzig for today's study. When Jesus had finished these sayings he departed from Galilee came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan and great multitudes followed him there and he healed them and the Pharisees came to him testing him and saying to him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? Why would they ask a question like that? Hey, can a guy dump his wife just for any reason? Because there were interpreters who thought you could divorce your wife for absolutely any reason. There were two schools of thought in Judaism at the time.

One very strict, one very liberal. The strict school said the only reason a man can divorce his wife is if she is sexually immoral. If she sleeps with another man that's the only reason. Another said, well you know Moses talked about an uncleanness that the wife has and maybe that means she cooked his dinner wrong and he finds that unclean to him and he deems that as an uncleanness and he broadened the reasons for divorce to the widest possible margin. If a man, if a woman spoke to another man, if she spun in the street, if she wore her hair down in public, those were all reasons a man could divorce his wife. So one said you can't divorce for any reason. The other rabbi said you can divorce for any reason.

Which do you think the Jewish men found more popular? Any reason. Any reason. That's why they asked the question.

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason? They're following the traditions of the rabbi. And he answered and said to them, have you not read? I love Jesus' answer this way. Don't you religious leaders ever read your Bible? Don't you know what the Bible says? Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female going all the way back to Genesis? For he said, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two but one flesh.

Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. They said to him, why then did Moses, notice, command to give a certificate of divorce and put her away? They had now taken the permission that Moses gave in the Old Testament as a commandment to the men to dump their wives for any reason.

They had misinterpreted it. Why did Moses command to give a certificate? Jesus said Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. Now listen to verse 10, the disciples said to him, if such is the case of a man with his wife it's better not to marry. You see the disciples too were used to the interpreter's wide belief that you can divorce your wife for any reason at all. And now Jesus said, well let's take this back to the Bible. And God in the Bible said this, therefore what God has joined let no man separate. So if you divorce your wife for any reason except for sexual immorality, you're committing adultery and causing her to commit adultery.

The disciples were shocked. And so the logical assumption they made, if such is the case of a man with his wife, it's better to stay single. Better never to get married. Look at Jesus answer. He said to them, all cannot accept this saying.

Like well actually being single is a good option. It's a good plan. It's a good move like Paul said in chapter 7 verse 1. But he said, all cannot accept this saying but only those, now notice the wording, only those to whom it has been given. That's the gift. God has to give you a gift to be able to handle the sensual temptation and not fall to it. And then he explains, for there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb. And there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men. And there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He was able to accept it.

Let him accept it. There were three groups Jesus talked about who were single. One was those who had a birth defect, congenital anomaly that forbade them from reproduction. Number two, they were people made eunuchs for harems and for king's courts.

And they were forced to go through a surgical procedure so they couldn't reproduce. But then there were those who voluntarily said, I'm going to stay single for the kingdom of God's sake. Notice that Jesus said, you have to have a gift to be able to do that. Gift to be able to do that.

So to be single is one of God's gift. You might be thinking, God, please don't give me that gift. Make me a missionary to the darkest jungles of Africa, but please don't give me that gift. If that's what you're thinking, you don't have the gift. Don't worry. Don't worry. You'll know if you have the gift.

I knew I didn't have the gift. Just out of curiosity, how many of you are married? Raise your hands up.

Thank you. Hands down. How many of you are single? Hands up. Okay, hands down. Now I'm going to ask you one more time, one more question.

How many of you are single who want to get married? Raise your hands up. Okay, keep them up.

Keep them up. Look around. Look around. Look around.

Look around. Just helping you guys out a little bit with that. Okay. Who are you? Okay.

Who knows? So back to first. You got that. You finally got that.

Okay. 1 Corinthians chapter 7. This I say is a concession, not a commandment. Verse 7. I wish that all men were even as myself, but each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and the other in that.

Singleness is good if it's accompanied with celibacy, but it has to be accompanied by a gift of God. Now let me read the first seven verses to you in a translation called The Message Translation by Eugene Peterson. I don't always like it as a translation. It's not an accurate translation by any means.

It's a paraphrase, but sometimes I think he captures the spirit of the text, and in this particular one, I think he helps us understand it. Now getting down to the question you asked in your letter to me. First, it is good. Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?

Certainly, but only within a certain context. It is good for a man to have a wife and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality, the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to stand up for your rights. Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible only for a period of time if you both agree to it. And if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting, but only for such times, then come back together again.

Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence, only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me, a simpler life in many ways. But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

I think that just sums it up beautifully, the spirit as to which Paul was speaking about. So to sum it up, singleness is good. If it is, celibacy. Second, being single is good, but it can also be tempting. Third, a single lifestyle is wrong if you're married.

And number four, both singleness and marriage are gifts from God and should be treated as such. Now beginning in chapter 7 verse 8, he is addressing the Christian who is married or considering marriage. So first he is addressing those who are unmarried or formally married. Then he addresses Christians who are married to other believers. Then he addresses Christians who are married to unbelievers and the unbeliever wants to stay with the believer. And then he addresses believers married to unbelievers who don't want to stay with the believer but want to bail on the marriage.

He addresses all of those issues because those must have been the questions that they asked Paul in the letter they wrote. So verse 8, but I say to the unmarried, agamas in Greek, those that have never been married, that have never been married, and to the widows, those who had been previously married but their husband died. It is good for them if they remain even as I am.

That's good. If you stay single, that's good. But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Why does he say that? He says that because you can't serve the Lord as a single person if you're always battling the temptation, the sexual temptation. You're not going to live a happy, fulfilled life serving the Lord that way. So it is better to go ahead and get married instead of living a life that is burning with passion.

By the way, let me just add my two cents to it. If you are a believer and you find another believer and you guys decide to get married, do it quickly. Don't have a long engagement, in other words. Don't say, yeah, we're engaged to be married. In five years, we're going to get married.

Oh my goodness. You're going to fight sexual temptation for five years. If you know you're going to get married, get married quickly.

Go through all the necessary preparation. In the day in which the New Testament was written, people were married when they were early teenagers. That was the norm. Parents prepared children for that commitment early on. I realize that people today aren't necessarily emotionally as equipped, even in their 20s and sometimes in their 30s, but get equipped if you get engaged. Get ready and get prepared and get married. Don't have a long, drawn-out engagement. That's my two cents. That's my opinion, and I'm going to stick to it.

I'll throw in something else. As you're looking for the right person, be careful because you might have an ideal that doesn't exist. If that ideal exists, you have a problem because why would that ideal person ever be attracted to you? You say, oh, she has to have the IQ of Albert Einstein. She has to be a professional model and independently wealthy and just totally awesome in all these ways. Really? She's going to fall in love with you?

I mean, what about that IQ like Einstein again? Let me just say this. As you're looking for the right person, focus on being the right person. Work on that part. That you can control.

That you can work on. Build yourself up, the Bible says, in the most holy faith. Build yourself a man of God. Build yourself a woman of God to present to that man or woman in marriage. Now verse 10, to the married, I command, yet not I, but the Lord.

A wife is not to depart from her husband. There's language in this chapter that gets some confused a little bit. Here is Paul saying, this is what I'm saying, yet not I, but the Lord. Then later on he'll say, not the Lord, but I. And it almost sounds like Paul is saying, this is my opinion.

This is just sort of my advice. That is not what he's saying. When he says, I'm going to tell you something, not I, but the Lord, he's saying, the Lord already talked about this. The Lord Jesus already had something to say about this issue. When he says, I'm going to say something, not the Lord, but this is me talking, he doesn't doubt that as being authoritative. In fact, he says at the end of the chapter, I believe I have the authority of God.

I'm inspired here when I say that. But he's saying, I'm now talking about things that the Lord Jesus didn't speak about in particular. So we know, for example, Jesus spoke about celibacy and marriage and divorce. But he didn't talk about things like if you're married to an unbelieving spouse and the unbelieving spouse wants to be married to an unbelieving spouse. And the unbelieving spouse wants to stay or wants to depart. Jesus never touched on some of these issues.

Paul does. So here he says, I say to the married, I command, yet not I, but the Lord. That is Jesus or the Lord has already talked about these issues previously. A wife is not to depart from her husband. Well, did the Lord already suggest that?

He sure did. Genesis chapter 2. For this reason, a man shall leave his father or mother, be joined to his wife. The two shall become one flesh. One flesh.

Jesus used the one flesh in Matthew 19 and Matthew chapter 5 to say, what God has joined, let not man separate. Don't divorce for any reason except for immorality. So he's already talked on that.

He's already touched on that. A wife is not to depart, chorizo, divorce her husband. But even if she does depart, let's say she says, well, I've had enough irreconcilable differences.

I'm just going to dump my husband. But there are two Christians that are married. Let her remain unmarried. This is her option. She stays unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And the husband is not to divorce his wife.

It's pretty straightforward. When we got married and said tell death do us part, that wasn't just a cool little thing to say in a wedding. A little cool, awesome catchphrase that sounds kind of Elizabethan to throw in at a marriage.

Tell death do us part means I'm here till I die. Because that has been the Lord's command from the beginning. It's pretty easy to understand the scriptural teaching on marriage.

Pretty straightforward. God's original intention, His original design is one man and one woman for one lifetime. That's His original design. Does that get marred? Yes. Does it get messed up? Yes.

Does it sometimes need to be adjusted? Yes. And the parameters are clearly laid out in Scripture. There's no ambiguity really in these things.

But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried. Now this has bothered some believers. They say, well why do unbelievers get all forgiven for their past but believers are kind of like fenced in? Really?

You don't know the answer to that? You and I are Christians. You and I are called to a higher level. We're called and empowered by God to live at a higher level. And so because we're now under the covenant of God's grace, all the past is washed away. But now as God's children, there are certain ways that we live that glorify God in our body and our spirit which belong to Him. That's the higher standard.

So He lays it out. Look, stay married. If one of you leaves, then you have to stay unmarried. You live that way. You've chosen that lifestyle. You stay unmarried now. Or at some point in the future, you reconcile to the spouse you left.

Those are the two options. And it's pretty clear. Well, there was other issues though in the Corinthian church. Because what happens if a believer, or let's say you have a marriage, you have two unbelievers. One gets saved and the saved believer goes, man I'm a Christian now. I want my, let's say, husband to be a Christian. Or I want my wife to be a Christian if you're a man. So you've got a believer and an unbeliever. And the believer wakes up when he goes, wait a minute, this is an unequal yoke. I'm married to an unbeliever.

Didn't Paul say only believers are to be married to believers? But now I find myself married to an unbeliever. Well, yeah, but that's because you got saved. Yeah, but now I'm married to an unbeliever.

Now I have an unequal yoke. And I'm married to an unbeliever. And I'm married to an unbeliever.

Now I'm married to an unequal yoke. And besides that, I met this real cute Christian girl at church who thinks I'm awesome and spiritual and smart and witty. And maybe it's the Lord.

No, it's your hormones, pretty sure. So he gives directions for that. To the rest I say, to the rest I, not the Lord, say.

That is, this hasn't been addressed specifically in the words of Jesus or in the Old Testament. If any brother has a wife who does not believe and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. So the unbeliever says, you know what, I don't want to bail on the marriage. I still love you as my spouse.

I want to make these things work out. I don't agree with your religion. I'm not all into that, but I love you and I'm committed to you. If you're a believer, let that happen.

And he explains why. A woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. What does it mean that one is sanctified by the other?

Well, I'll tell you what it first doesn't mean. It doesn't mean they are automatically saved because one person in that family is a believer. It doesn't mean that. Because if it meant that, he wouldn't have called them a spouse who doesn't believe. He says, if you have a husband who's an unbeliever, you wouldn't call them an unbeliever if they're automatically saved. Now they're a believer. So it doesn't mean that if you marry an unbeliever, the unbeliever is now saved. It means they're sanctified or set apart or in a position of influence by you.

So here's the idea. Let me give you an analogy. The unbeliever is not directly under the spout where the blessing comes out. You as a believer are under the spout where the blessing comes out. But as the blessing comes out on you, child of God, the droppings and the splashings are going to go on your family.

The grace of God is going to be conferred in an influential way, a sanctifying way, a special grace kind of a way because of the presence of just one believer in that household. That's Skip Hyten with a message from the series Expound First Corinthians. Now we want to share about an exciting opportunity you have to take your knowledge of God's Word even deeper. Think taking classes and biblical studies can't fit your life? Here's Calvary College student, Cresta. After years of wanting training in ministry, I found Calvary College. Now I can deepen my walk with the Lord and I can go as little or as often as my schedule allows.

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800-922-1888. Thank you. Tune in tomorrow as Skip Heitzig shares how God works powerfully through your authentic self. Find out what that means and why it's such good news when you tune in. Connect with Skip Heitzig is a presentation of Connection Communications, connecting you to God's never-changing truth in ever-changing times.