This is Connect with Skip Heitzig. Thanks for joining us for today's program. At Connect with Skip, we're all about helping you connect with God's Word in a deeper way. That's why we make messages like today's available to you and others across the globe. And right now, when you sign up for Skip's weekly devotional emails, you'll receive a free download of chapter one from Skip's book, The Biography of God.
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Now, let's dive into today's teaching from Pastor Skip's son, Nate Heitzig. You've heard the phrase good news travels fast.
Well, that suggests to you that bad news travels faster. It's been said a lie is halfway around the world while the truth is still putting its shoes on. And I got to imagine the conversation between Adam and Eve had to have been difficult at times because there was no one else to talk about. I mean, what's Adam going to do? Hey, Eve, did you hear about it?
Oh, wait, you're Eve. You're not going to think this is funny. Because we love to gossip. We love to talk about other people because it makes us feel better about ourselves. And it's funny because we don't really think of gossip as a real sin, but it really is.
In fact, did you know it's one of the very things that God himself says he hates? We're given a list of six things that the Lord hates: seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers. And we all at one time have felt the bitter sting of gossip. I read an article that describes gossip this way. My name is Gossip.
I have no respect for justice. I'm maim without killing. I break hearts and I ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious, and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted the more I am believed.
My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name or face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I get. I am nobody's friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments and I wreck marriages. I ruin careers and I cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses.
I am gossip. I make headlines and headaches. There's many in the church today. And by the way, when I say the church today, I'm not speaking of this church in particular. I'm speaking of the church, Christianity in general.
There are many Christians today who would shudder at the thought of living for pleasure or sex, and yet they get their kicks out of tearing others down, digging dirt on people, and spreading it. They get crippled by jealousy of what another one has or what another one does, and they just want to tear them down. 1 Corinthians 3:3 says, For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal? Remember, we're told to abhor that which is evil. That means that the things that God hates, I too am going to hate, and that includes gossip.
You know, it's actually really easy to shut gossip down.
Next time this happens to you, I encourage you to try it.
Next time someone does that little prayer thing: hey, can we pray about what's going on in that person's life? When they tell you that, ask them first, sure, I'd love to pray, but do you mind if I quote you to them? I want to go find out if this is true after.
So, do you mind if I quote you to them?
Well, no, no, don't quote me. I mean, I'm just, I heard it secondhand. I don't want to get caught up in this. You already are.
Well, why don't we go talk to them together? No, I don't want to, you know, I couldn't possibly accuse them of something. You are accusing them of something, just to me, not them.
So, why don't you have the guts to go talk to them about it? If you don't, I will.
Next time someone wants to gossip to you. Tell him. I'll talk to you, but I want you to know I'm going to go talk to that person right after this. And then go to that person and say, hey, I heard this rumor about you. I don't believe it's true, but I want you to know what happened.
I want you to know what's being spread so you have a chance to defend your name. Isn't that what you would want done for you if somebody was gossiping about you?
So do that for others. Seek their best. Seek their restoration. Seek their growth. Abhor what is evil.
Cling to that which is good. This is the most subtle but equally destructive form of hatred. They show their anger by backbiting, character assassination, destroying someone's reputation, shaking someone's confidence in themselves by whispering criticism or deliberate fault finding. You know what this does? It isolates that person and it makes them feel like they have no friends and they have no confidants.
And that's exactly what Satan wants to do. And Satan is using Christians to do it. James tells us the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. See how great a forest a little fire kindles, or literally what an immense stack of timber can be set ablaze by the tiniest spark. Just one lie, one rumor, can do great devastation.
Has anyone ever told a lie about you that spread? And you found out about the lie? Anyone ever had that happen to you, a a lie, a rumor get spread about you? You guys are living comfortable lives. You guys choose good friends is what that means.
Where a lie gets spread about you, or someone maligns or misinterprets your intention, it's so helpless, isn't it? When that happens, you feel so powerless. You feel like there's nothing you can do to defend your name. There's nothing you can say. No matter what you try, it just makes you look worse.
You feel like if you try to go and defend yourself or source out the rumors, just make you look guilty, like you're trying to cover something up. And it's helpless. You feel like there's nothing you can say to fix your reputation. You know, mountain climbers say the vibration of just one whisper can bring down an entire avalanche. And not only can it damage others, but you know it can also damage you.
Notice it says in verse 6. It defiles the whole body. and it is set on fire by hell.
So not only does it hurt them, it hurts you. In Matthew 5, 22, Jesus echoes a similar idea when he says, Whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother Rakah shall be in danger of the council, but whoever says, You fool, She'll be in danger of hellfire. These two words, rakah and fool, rakah was used in Jesus' day. There's not really a modern equivalent.
It could closest be associated to calling someone a brainless idiot. It was a phrase of contempt, arrogant contempt, superiority over another person. The word fool literally means obstinate, godless person. It was a term you would use to condemn someone.
Now, both of these terms speak of a bitterness and a hatred in one's heart finding its expression in words. Again, the issue that we're dealing with here is a condition in someone's heart finding its expression in words or actions. Remember, James 2 was all about faith without works is dead. The condition of the heart finding its expression in your works.
Now, James 3, it's about the words that we say being an expression. They're finding expression. based on what your heart is doing. That's what James is talking about here. It's an expression of the heart.
Again, the problem isn't in what we say, it's what's in our hearts. And that shows itself that sometimes you can say the right things in the wrong way. Has anyone ever been guilty of this? Saying the right things in the wrong way? I know I have all the time, where you'll want to tell your kids something, they messed up, they did something they shouldn't, and you want to tell them the right thing.
But you just did it the wrong way. Maybe you call them out in front of their friends and it caused them shame. Or maybe you said it instinctually with a bit of anger or callousness or harshness and it hurt. And then you've got to go back to your kids later on and you have to apologize to them. And say, hey, I'm sorry for what I said.
It was true, but I said it in the wrong way. I shouldn't have said it the way that I did. I shouldn't have said it when I said it. And what can end up happening is the lesson you were trying to teach them is overshadowed by the way that you said it, and you can lose the effect of the lesson you were trying to teach. We can say the right things in the wrong way.
We can go to a brother caught in sin and address them harshly, not for their betterment or well-being or their sanctification or restoration, but for their condemnation. We can say the right thing in the wrong way. We can go to an unbeliever and say the right thing in the wrong way. We can be at an abortion clinic and a girl's about to get an abortion. We can say the right thing in the wrong way.
And lose our witness, lose our opportunity, lose the moment that we had to reveal truth to them. We can use the wonderful truth of God's word to bludgeon people. That's why scripture tells us a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold. in frames of silver. Church, can we make that our goal?
That every time we open our mouth What comes out isn't bitterness. Isn't fire? Isn't poison? Isn't anger? or hatred, but that what comes out of our mouth is golden apples.
in frames of silver. That it's soothing, that it's fresh. that it waters the soul. That it makes people pause, that it doesn't stir up dissension, it ends dissension, it doesn't stir up bitterness, it ends bitterness, that our words. are a joy for people to hear.
Whimsical. that it draws people close to Jesus. Not pushes them away. And yet, if you read so many comment sections of quote-unquote believers, that's not what you'd get. We need to learn to speak the truth in love.
Third and finally, what you say is a decision. Let's look at verse 9 through 12 as we close this text out. With it, we bless our God and Father. And with it we curse men who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing.
My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus, no spring yields both salt, water, and fresh. James now shows us that there is a better way.
And what he does is he compares and contrasts two different directions, two different decisions, two different choices where our speech can take us. In verse 9, he shows us that what we say can bless God or it can curse men. It's a choice. In verse 10, he indicates that what we say can be a blessing to people or a curse to people. It's a choice.
In verse 11, he compares our speech to fresh water or bitter water. Again, it's a choice. In verse 12, he compares our tongue and our speech to a spring that can either bring forth salt water or fresh water. Again, it's a choice. And here's the idea.
We have a decision to make regarding what we say, and that decision will either be a blessing to people or a curse. That decision will either glorify God or it will blaspheme God. We've already seen the tongue can be extremely destructive, but did you know that a tongue dedicated to God can be a blessing to so many people? It can be a blessing to others. Again, I've been so blessed by different words that people have shared with me as they've encouraged me, as they've strengthened me.
You know, the best defense is a good offense. If you struggle with tongue issues, if you struggle with saying things, maybe sometimes the right things in the wrong way, or you struggle with harshness, or you struggle with gossip, you know the easiest way to fight against saying the wrong things? Start saying the right things. If you determine in your heart that I'm going to start saying the right things, your mouth will be filled with goodness and it won't be able to have the capacity to speak foulness. You're listening to Connect with Skip Heitzik.
Before we return to today's message, what does real spiritual maturity actually look like and how can you achieve it? In his new series, Adulting, A Study Through the Book of James, Pastor Skip gives straight talk from scripture on how to grow up in your faith. through trials, temptations, and daily life. This eye-opening 21 message series is our thanks for your generous gift of $50 or more to help reach more people with God's Word through Connect with Skip. Request your CD package or digital download of adulting when you give at connectwithskiff.com slash offer or call 800-922-1888.
Now let's get back to the teaching of Nate Heitzig. It's the same principle with every area of our life. When we look at the cross, when we look at Jesus, when we do what we're supposed to be doing, we're not going to have enough time to do what we shouldn't do. And with our lips, the highest thing that we can do with our lips is to praise and bless the name of the Lord. That's why I love that song we sang through that new song, Bless God.
And that's what that verse says: with our tongues, we can either bless God or we can curse men. If you spend your time, if you spend your energy choosing to use your tongue to bless God, you're not going to have time to curse men. If you make it your goal that in all your spheres of influence with your family, your friends, your coworkers, that you're going to speak Jesus, that Jesus will be on the tip of your tongue and will flow from your lips, you'll begin to surround yourself in a bubble of positivity, speaking the right things, speaking the true things, speaking the things that are profitable. That when you have that thought of wanting to say that one unprofitable thing, that one damaging thing, you're going to pause and say, wait a second, I talk about Jesus all the time with these people. If I say this, that's going to damage my witness.
And you'll hold it back. And that's exactly what Jesus wants us to do. Occupy your time doing the right thing that will keep you from the wrong thing. Luke 6, 27 says, But I tell you who hear me, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.
Bless those who persecute you. And pray for those who mistreat you. And Romans chapter 12, verse 14 carries the same idea of a choice, the choice of blessing or cursing. It says, Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse them. The word here is in the present tense, which means it's something we do constantly to someone who constantly wishes us home.
Harm. What a challenge that that is, isn't it? To not only choose to keep our mouths shut in regards to our enemies. Those we disagree with, those who wrong us and speak wrongly about us, to not only choose to keep our mouth shut, but to choose to open our mouth to bless them. To choose to open our mouth.
to comfort them. To help them. And Jesus certainly practiced what he preached, didn't he? What he uttered on the sunny sermon on the mount, he practiced at the foot of Golgotha as he hung on the cross. And he said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
As did Stephen. And let me tell you something, this takes discipline. Because it's hard, isn't it? It's hard to discipline ourselves to control our tongue and to not speak poorly of people who are speaking poorly about us. It takes discipline to love others relentlessly.
It's hard to speak well about those who don't speak well about you. Just ask Donald Trump and Joe Biden. It's tough. When someone says something bad about you, you want to say something bad about them. When someone hurts you, you want to hurt them.
When someone defames you, you want to defame them. It's hard to have the discipline, but it is a reflection of who you really are. It is a reflection of your heart. And this is the choice we have before us when we open our mouths. Do we want the things we say to help, or do we want the things we say to hurt?
Do we want the things we say to bless or do we want the things we say to curse? Do we want the things we say to be refreshing to people like fresh water? Or do we want the things we say to be bitter to people like salt water? Every time we open our mouth, we need to consider these two options. You've probably heard it said that we should think before we speak.
So I found a little acronym to help you next time you want to open your mouth before you do. Ask yourself these five questions. And if the answer is no to any of them, shut your mouth. Number one, is it true? Is it true?
Ask yourself if you hear something. You want to say something to someone. Is it true? If it's not true, don't say it. Will it help?
Even if it is true, is what you're saying going to help them or hurt them? What's the purpose behind it? Are you doing it to help them or are you doing it to help you? Number three, is it inspiring? Is this encouraging them, inspiring them to good works?
Number four, is it necessary? Even if all those other questions are true, is this really necessary? Does this need to be said? If it doesn't, don't say it. And then number five, is it kind?
The Lord is kind and gentle-hearted. Seeking after us, so is what we say going to reflect that? or not.
So, what's the solution? If we find that our hearts and by proxy our tongue is sinning, how do we fix it? Matthew 5:29 to 30 says. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.
For it's more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. Jesus shows us the deliverance out of this sin. And obviously, he is not speaking literally. I don't want to see you come to church next week with an eye patch on because you gouged your eye out, or a prosthetic hand because you cut your hand off, or no tongue, and you sound like that guy in the mummy. No one can understand you.
That's not the point of this. Jesus is not speaking literally because, obviously, if the problem is the heart, what good is it to pluck out the eye or to cut off the hand or to pull out your tongue? If the right eye were gone, the left one could still look lustfully. If the right hand was gone, the left one could still carry on sinful acts. The point is this: in the Jewish culture, the right hand and the right eye represented a person's best and most precious faculties.
The right eye represented one's best vision, and the right hand represented one's best skills. And Jesus' point is this: we should be willing to give up whatever is necessary to keep us from falling into sin.
So If reading the comments section, causes you to fall into sin. Stop reading the comment section. If going on social media causes you to sin, stop going on social media. If watching Fox News at night before you go to bed makes you angry and want to say something tomorrow, stop watching Fox News at nighttime. If watching a certain movie makes you want to do certain things that you know you shouldn't, stop watching that TV show or that movie.
If spending time with unbelieving friends causes you to come back and you want to cuss and you want to share dirty jokes, stop hanging out with that group of friends. Why? Because it's better to get that out of your life than it is to go to hell. It's better to pluck it out, it's better to cut it off than it is to burn in hell because it's a matter of the heart.
So let's pray that God would change our hearts and our minds that we may cooperate by what we program into them.
Now, as we close, I want to draw your attention to verse 8 as we bring this home. Notice what it says. But no man can tame The tongue.
So if what we say is a decision. How are we supposed to decide if we can't tame the tongue? It says right there, you can't tame it. You can't fix it.
So, how are we supposed to do it? The answer is only God can do it. See, the choice isn't really blessing or cursing. The choice isn't really fresh or bitter. The choice is Jesus.
or self. Going back to our first point, what you say is a reflection. It's a reflection of your soul. It's a reflection of your relationship or lack of relationship with Christ. Remember, from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
That means if your heart is filled with Jesus, Your mouth will speak Jesus. If your heart is filled with self, your mouth will speak self. If your heart is filled with politics, your mouth will speak politics. If your heart is filled with possessions, your mouth will speak possessions.
So if you're having tongue troubles, If you find yourself saying, what did I say? Don't address the symptom, address the heart. Romans 13, 14 tells us how to do that. It instructs us to put on the Lord Jesus Christ, or literally, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ. Anyone in here put on clothes this morning?
Every hand should be raised at this point. If you're not, you're just being obstinate. Or you're a secret nudist, in which case security, tackle them, just be careful when you do it. We all put on clothes this morning. I put on clothes this morning.
When I put on clothes in the morning, I intend for them to be on my body all day long, right? If my clothes happen to come off my body at some point in the middle of the day, it's never a good thing. There's never a good situation that led me to having to take my clothes off. I expect them to be on my body all day long, to go where I go, to do what I do. And if for some reason those clothes come off, we've got a problem.
Same in our spiritual life. Put on the Lord Jesus Christ. When you wake up in the morning, put on Jesus from head to toe in everything you do, in your actions, in your words, in where you go, in what you say. And make a determination to let him be a part of your life all day long. It's not something you put on for part of the day, then take off.
You put it on when you're at home. You take it off when you're at work. You put it on when you get back in the car and you're listening to elevation. And you take it off when you get home and you're angry and frustrated and take it out on your family. Put on Jesus Christ from head to toe and wear him in everywhere that you go and everything that you do.
Let him act in and through your life. Call upon his resources. J.B. Phillips says: Let us be Christ's men from head to foot. Let's imitate him in all things.
My question as we close is: have you put on Jesus Christ today? Have you entered into his views and his interests? Are you imitating him in all things or are you putting on the world? Are you entering into the world's views and interests? Are you getting sucked into the world's divisions and controversies?
Are you imitating the world in all things? Because God desires the world to look to us for change, not the other way around. I opened up by saying that I wanted you to do inventory.
So, as you do inventory and you look at your life and the things that you say. My question again as we close is what is that a reflection of? Church, if I'm really honest, this was a really tough one for me. It was a tough one to prepare. It was a tough one to teach.
I said last week that a pastor should never stand in the pulpit and preach something they haven't first preached to themselves. And that was true for me this week. God needed to teach me this lesson. As I was studying and reading this passage, I was convicted. Because I can be harsh with my words.
I can be cutting with my words. I can be demeaning with my words. I can be harsh. with my kids. I can be harsh to my wife.
I can be harsh with my friends. I can be harsh when speaking about things that I disagree with. I can be harsh to my enemies. I can be harsh talking to my friends about my enemies. I can get into a cycle of bitterness and frustration and letting that permeate in my life and the things that I say.
And I can run the risk of becoming a bitter person.
So today I'm making a commitment and I hope that you'll make the same commitment. Church, can we commit? That as Christians As Christ's men and women, from head to toe, that when we open our mouths, What comes out of our mouth won't be cursing. It won't be condemnation. That when we speak, we won't speak fire.
We won't speak bitterness. We won't speak poison. But that when we open our mouths and speak to everyone in our lives, to our family, our friends, our coworkers, our enemies, that when we open our mouths, we'll speak Jesus. We'll speak Jesus to our children. We'll speak Jesus to our spouses.
We'll speak Jesus to our parents. We'll speak Jesus to our co-workers. We'll speak Jesus to our brothers and sisters in Christ. We'll speak Jesus to our enemies. We'll speak Jesus to our political rivals.
We'll speak Jesus to our friends about our enemies. We'll speak Jesus in the comment section when we see a post that really ticks us off. We'll speak Jesus in everything that we post. That will speak Jesus to our city and our streets. Do you believe that church?
Can we commit to doing that? We're so glad you joined us for Connect with Skip Heidzig today featuring Pastor Skiff's son Nate Heitzig. Before you go, don't forget to request this month's featured resource, Adulting, a study through the book of James, Pastor Skip's twenty one Message series that gives you straight talk from Scripture about how to grow in spiritual maturity and live out your faith in the real world. Adulting is our thanks for your generous gift of $50 or more to help share God's word with more people. Call 800-922-1888 or visit connectwithskip.com slash offer.
And while you're there, sign up for Skip's weekly devotional emails and get a free download of a chapter of Skip's The Biography of God. Come back next time for more verse-by-verse teaching of God's Word here on Connect with Skip-Heitzig. Make it connect. Make a connection at the foot of the crossing. Catch your burdens on his wood.
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