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That's ConnectWithSkip.com. Now let's get into today's teaching with Pastor Skip Heitzig. The fact that they're getting married shows that they believe that two is better than one. These two together are better than either of us on our own. Two is better than one, but essentially Solomon says three is better than two. Now, how does that apply to marriage? Well, as you are committing yourself to another person in a marriage relationship, if you had the strength of God that would wind himself around the commitment that you make, your strength is infinite. A three-fold cord or a rope of three strands is not quickly broken.
It's a beautiful analogy. If you took a single string and you hung away from it and then you put a little more weight on it, a little more weight on it, eventually it's going to have a breaking point. It's going to snap. If you double the weight and you take two pieces of string and wrap them together and you hang a weight on it and then more weight and more weight, it's going to withstand more.
But if you add another strand, exponentially the strength of that strand goes up. So if it's a husband and a wife and they look dreamy-eyed and they say, I love you. I'll always love you.
You can count on me. Well, till death do us part. Often it's not till death do us part. It's like, till death do us part, but I'm going to kill you by the end of the week. Or it's till debt do us part. Or it's till you get ugly and I get ugly and we find somebody better luck and do us part. But imagine if a young man and a young woman had the strength of God himself wrapped around them, wrapped around that relationship and entrusted their future to the God who would bring them together.
How different it would be. So here's the father finding a wife for his son, Isaac, entrusting the unnamed servant to go get one. And you'll see it's the perfect one. She's beautiful. She wants to go.
And it's a marriage that will last. So look at verse five again. The servant said to him, perhaps the woman will not be willing to follow me to this land. Must I bring your son back to the land from which you came? But Abraham said to him, beware that you do not take my son back there. He didn't want his son going back. Son had been here in Canaan. This is the land God wanted him to remain in. He had already left a couple times, remember.
He learned the lesson. I don't want my son leaving this land. He's staying here.
He decided to hang back at home. Oh, this is kind of a cool place. I didn't know about this place. I'm just going to be here. Don't even bring him back. You know, there are certain places God just doesn't want you or I to go. Don't bring him back.
Just go on this mission. But don't bring him back. There's a principle I want you to notice before we go on in this story. And that is another principle of a long lasting relationship. It's the principle of separation.
Abraham does not want his son marrying a pagan Canaanite without the same worldview and belief in God that he has. Now there's a principle in the New Testament that goes beautifully with it. You know this. You know it well and probably some of you knew I would be going there. I'm going to read it to you. It's out of 2 Corinthians chapter 6.
Let me read it to you. Oh Corinthians, we have spoken openly to you. Our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections.
Now in return for the same, I speak to you, children, you also be open. Just so you know in context, Paul is going to say you guys need to be very careful. The relationships you have because some of the people around you are false prophets, false teachers. And they're ruining the fabric of truth within the church.
But listen to what he says and the way he puts it. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness. And what communion has light with darkness. And what accord has Christ with Belial. Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever.
And what agreement has the temple of God with idols for you are the temple of the living God. It's a very powerful analogy. It's a farming analogy. A farmer would be wise when he wants to work a field to pick two animals that will be yoked together with the same size, the same temperament. Not a clean and an unclean animal. Not an ox and a goat. Two animals, same species, same size, same temperament because they need to plow in the same direction. They need to go in the same direction.
The unequal yoke. Another translation puts it this way. Don't be mismated with unbelievers.
So now put it in a relational context, a marriage context. If you're a believer and if in your heart you truly want to go God's way and do God's work, and fulfill God's will for your life. That's the direction you're going in. Do you really think an unbeliever wants to serve the Lord and work for the Lord and go in God's direction?
No. So when you get married essentially you and her or you and he, if you're a girl and I'm speaking to both men and women. If you go under the yoke because you're going to be tied together in marriage. You'll be going in opposite directions. Can you imagine two animals trying to plow a field that are trying to work in opposite directions?
No work will get done. So don't be mismated or don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. There was a survey that was done among Christian teenagers that revealed 40% of the Christian teenagers said that they would date a non-Christian. And 25% said that they would be willing to consider it. Now I've heard the reasons.
I was going to say the excuses really that's what they are. Well I haven't found a guy around the church that's a Christian that is suitable to me. But somebody else that I know that is an unbeliever is suitable to me. Or there's just no good Christian guys left or there's no really great Christian gals left.
It's a lame excuse. What happens is after the infatuation wears off at some point that believer is going to start getting serious again with serving the Lord. And find that other one that he or she is tied to saying not so fast and not so much.
Don't want to go there. And so you find yourself in a lifelong tug of war. That is why I'll give you another scripture that goes along sort of with that is 1 Corinthians chapter 7 as Paul is talking about marriage and divorce among believers. He says a wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives. But if her husband dies and she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord.
Did you get that little last part? Only in the Lord. So if a husband dies and you want to get remarried great.
Go get remarried says Paul. But just make sure it's in the Lord. That they love the Lord. That they're believers going in the same direction. Pulling the pole. You're yoked with that person in the same direction.
So it's not a tug of war. So we find that in its nascent form back in chapter 24 of Genesis as he commissions a servant to go out. I love verse 7.
You know what it shows me? It shows me that Abraham is a man of faith now all the way through to the end. From here on out. This is quite a statement of faith. Just go. The God who gave me the promise. He's going to send his angel.
Just go. He's a man of faith. Because after all did not God promise that he would have a son and after all the years of wrangling and disbelief they had a son. And did not God spare his son by the angel withholding his hand in chapter 22 and he was going to plunge a knife into him. So here's the son. He knows that God if he's provided this son and he's kept him alive all this time. Certainly God wants him to have a wife. And children because after all the promises in your seat all the nations of the earth will be blessed for that to happen.
Got to have more. The race has to continue. So the God will go with you.
Just go for it. And if the woman is not willing to follow you then you will be released from this oath. Only do not take my son back there. I'm sure Abraham was thinking OK suppose this doesn't work out. I'm not seeing yet. But God will come through. So the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master and swore to him concerning this matter.
And so the unnamed servant is on a mission to find a bride for the son and bring the bride back to the home. Again it's a picture of the Holy Spirit. I just want you to notice as we go through why unnamed. Well didn't Jesus say of the Holy Spirit. Truth has come. He will guide you into all truth. He will not speak of himself but he will speak of what he hears.
And so the unnamed servant like the Holy Spirit goes out and did not even Jesus himself. I think it's Matthew 22 say the kingdom of God or the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king that arranged a wedding for his son. Here's a father arranging a wedding for a son like the kingdom of God. We'll send to Skip's teaching if you've ever wondered what the Bible has to say about some of our cultures big issues. We have a great resource for you when you give a gift of 50 dollars or more this month to support the ministry of Connect with Skip Heitzig. We'll send you God speaks biblical answers for today's issues. This special resource bundle contains six of Pastor Skip's booklets that address topics like suicide. Why the truth matters. Heaven and hell and the church's response to racism. You'll gain valuable insight into what God's word says about the big questions in our culture and get equipped to stand for the timeless truth of scripture.
Go to connect with Skip dot com slash offer or call 800 922 1888 and request your copy when you give 50 dollars or more. Now let's get back to Skip for more of today's teaching first 10 the servant took 10 of his master's camels. He's getting the dowry all together and departed for all his master's goods were in his hand and he arose and went to Mesopotamia to the city of Nahor and he made his camels kneel down outside the city by a well of water in the evening time. When the time the women go out to draw water. Notice that not the men the women.
Again it's a shock to our system but I have been in the Middle East and I've been in Bedouin tents where this kind of culture is still prevalent. And it was it was a mind blower to me because if you go into the tent during the day you see no women you see the men they're laying down on the rug they're drinking coffee. You look outside and you see the women they're working in the fields they're working with the livestock and they're at every beck and wish of the husband.
And so the women did the physical labor the important physical labor while the men did the more important labor of drinking coffee lounging around and making negotiations over future plans. That's how they saw it. Now watch this verse 12. And he said oh by the way Eliezer this unnamed servant would be called the friend of the bridegroom.
Now that that's a term in Judaism that is more reserved at least we notice it in the New Testament. John the Baptist called himself the friend of the bridegroom the friend of Jesus Christ being the bridegroom. But the servant acts as the friend of the bridegroom he's making the negotiations with the bride's father.
He's going to give the dowry he's going to be the guy who swings the deal and closes the deal friend of the bridegroom. Verse 12 he said now watch him pray. Oh Lord God of my master Abraham please give me success this day and show kindness to my master Abraham behold I stand here by the well of water and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say please let down your picture that I may drink and she says drink and I will also give your camels a drink let her be the one you have appointed for your servant Isaac and by this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master. There's a second principle I want to bring into this if you're looking for a mate not just separation marrying only a believer and not a non believer. But number two supplication pray pray you're entrusting that future to God prayer is through this entire chapter. You're going to see the servant pray and then you're going to see him pause and then pray again and worship God and you'll see Isaac meditating out in the field toward the end of the chapter.
The rabbi's always said that meant he was praying. If you're looking for a way to break the ice on your first date. Try this. What do I say what's like my opening line.
Here it is. Let's pray. If she goes what you do not want to date her. Or if you gals say would you mind praying he goes I'm not I'm not a praying kind of a guy. You dump him.
Just open the door push him out. Get on with your life. It will break the ice.
And here's why. In a wonderful way you are taking the relationship and moving it to a spiritual level immediately. You're placing it on spiritual ground right off the bat.
It's one of the first moves you make. You pray about it. And let's say it doesn't work out.
Let's say you find he's a creep or she doesn't want to be with him or he didn't want to be with her. So what what have you lost. You've had fellowship you prayed for each other. And you can continue to pray for that person long after that.
But you haven't lost anything because you've made it a spiritual exercise you've moved it onto spiritual ground. He prays. Now this is an unusual prayer. One of the most unusual in the Bible simply because it's answered before he's done praying. Wouldn't that be great if every prayer was like that. You can't even say amen. Just boom there it is.
This is one of those instances. Supplication. In verse 14 when the servant says please let the young woman to whom I say please let down your pitcher that I may drink and she says drink. It's very detailed in what he's asking God to do.
Notice this. Let her be the one you have appointed for your servant Isaac. A better rendition of this is that let the person that I meet be the one you have chosen. Let her be the one the one that I meet first off be the one you have chosen. So I'm involved but I'm trusting that you are the one that has made the choice. And by this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master. So it's all about the will of God.
I love it. It's all about Lord you've made a choice show me who it is. Now you're going to discover she's really beautiful. But that's not what he prays for. Now he'd be on the lookout no doubt for a good looking girl he's going to get it for his son. He didn't want Isaac hating him his whole life. But I find it interesting that in the prayer he didn't say God I pray that she'd be 5 foot 8, blonde hair, have a bachelor's degree in fashion, and a healthy stock portfolio in Jesus name.
Amen. Though she has some assets, though she's beautiful, it's a spiritual prayer. It's on a spiritual level and God will honor that. And it happened, verse 15, before he had finished speaking. That behold Rebecca who was born to Bethuel son of Milcah the wife of Nahor Abraham's brother came out with her pitcher on her shoulder. Now the young woman was very beautiful to behold a virgin no man had known her. She went down to the well filled her pitcher and came up.
The servant ran to meet her and said please let me drink a little water from your pitcher. I just want to say something before I move on. The Bible notes that she's beautiful.
The Puritans had an interesting idea. They believed that physical beauty was of the devil. Don't look at physical beauty man. If you find somebody beautiful it's of the devil. Well technically, I guess that's true, the devil himself was beautiful.
He was a beautiful creature because God had given him beauty. But the idea that because a person is beautiful physically that's nothing to include into the equation is wrong. You see, even scientists recognize that there's a thing called love mapping.
I'll tell you a little bit more about that toward the end of the study. But it's the way our brain works chemically, physiologically, and what features in certain people we find attractive and why that is. And what that mechanism is in the brain that brings that attraction when we look at a person and go, wow, she's beautiful.
There's an initial attraction. You would want that. You would want him to bring Isaac a beautiful girl. You wouldn't want Isaac after, by the way, it's a 450 mile trip, one way. So close to a thousand miles round trip. It's going to take a couple months to make that journey there and back. You don't want to go through that and then bring a gal who's going to get off her camel and Isaac's going to look and go, oh my goodness.
Okay, do I have to? And he noted it's a very beautiful woman. But while it's mentioned, again, it's on a spiritual level. And he's praying for just the right one, just the right one. And I love that the servant is praying. I love that Isaac will be out in the field praying. And it could be, as some commentators believe, that every single day this servant would get up in the morning and pray, commit his journey to God, get up in the morning, commit his journey to God. Next day, commit his journey to God. Because he's praying all the way through this encounter at the well. Okay, so your first date, you open in prayer. Don't stop there. Don't say, yeah, well, we prayed our first day, we're done now.
Pray through your relationship. I had an interesting meeting. This was so many years ago, I think I'm safe to tell it. It was a Friday afternoon, and I was told that I had a meeting with a couple whom I was supposed to marry, perform their wedding on the following day, Saturday.
Now, there was a process then, as there is now. They had seen an assistant pastor, they had been through counseling, I assumed. And now I was just, you know, they had been mentored and discipled, I'm just simply going to tie the knot. So I asked the couple, tell me about your relationship with each other. And they told me how they met, and they were looking at each other, and then I said, tell me about your spiritual relationship. Dead silence. And not only was there dead silence, but the man, the soon-to-be husband, started shrinking in his chair and was silent, while the gal just sort of kind of stood up and got puffed up and definitely miffed. You could see the body language. She was not pleased that I asked that.
I decided to press a little bit more. I said, now does that make you uncomfortable? Do you pray together? Do you read the Bible together?
What's your favorite scripture? I just started asking some questions, and she said, that's none of your business. I said, oh really? And you're asking me to perform the wedding tomorrow, and you're telling me it's none of my business that I ask you as a pastor, as a servant of God, about your spiritual relationship. That's right, it's none of your business. Well, I decided to press a little further and ask her why it was none of my business and do they read the Bible at all or pray together? Come to find out, they didn't, but she was so incensed that I even asked about her walk with God. She got up from the table and stormed out of the room. While this guy is just sitting there saying nothing, he was such a wimp.
Just a noodle, just melting in the corner. So I said, okay, so you're the leader of this relationship. Oh yeah, well, yeah, you know, she is this way. I said, okay, well, you've got, it's like two o'clock in the afternoon, you've got about three more hours to get her back into this room and we'll finish the counseling sessions or I'm not going to do your wedding tomorrow. Oh, but it's on the invitation, I don't care what invitation, I don't care who's coming in from out of town. You can have the president and the pope there. I'm not going to do the wedding before God unless I know you have a spiritual relationship.
So you've got three hours to get her back in here and finish this up. They never showed up. I didn't do the wedding.
I don't know where they got married, but I did hear that wasn't long before they divorced. Very, very sad. So Abraham is holding his servant to this and his servant is taking it very seriously. He's planning for success.
Is it going to work? I'm going to trust God. I'm going to pray all the way through and make sure it's on a spiritual level.
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