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Remembering Our Fallen First Responders

Brian Kilmeade Show / Brian Kilmeade
The Truth Network Radio
May 27, 2024 12:00 am

Remembering Our Fallen First Responders

Brian Kilmeade Show / Brian Kilmeade

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May 27, 2024 12:00 am

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It's Brian Kilmeade. Hope you're having a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. Thanks so much for being here. I hope you're enjoying this special edition of the Brian Kilmeade Show. We come to you from 48th and 6th in Midtown Manhattan.

Well, we go on location too. It's always good to see people in person. And that's what really this hour is going to be about.

Just a quick announcement. I would really love to meet all of you in person. So we put together this stage show where I talk about all six of my history books and the sports books. And we reenact great moments in a fun way of our past.

We call it history, liberty, and laughs. We just got out of Las Vegas, Henderson, Nevada. How about Indianapolis, Indiana? Coming up on June 29th. And then in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, July 27th at the Sherman Theater. Just go to

Also VIP opportunities. Now, this hour we're going to be joined by Bill Alexander. He's the CEO of the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund.

He is also somebody that was a cop for over 20 years. We went out and experienced the candlelight vigil this week on Police Week in Washington, D.C. The interview was so interesting and dynamic. It has not been seen in its entirety on Fox and Friends or on this show.

So we thought we'd bring that back the whole thing. A little bit later you're going to hear from the fallen first responder families. There's a survivor's area on the candlelight vigil. All family members of people who lost their lives in the line of duty. All have great stories, important stories. But now here's my interview with Bill. Bill Alexander, CEO of this organization. What's your responsibility here today? My responsibility here today is to try to help tell the stories of the men and women whose names we will read tonight at our very sacred ceremony. To try to help honor, remember, remind the nation the terrible sacrifice that so many men and women each year make on our behalf, protecting and preserving our democracy and keeping our community safe. 282 names go on that wall.

What went into their selection? 282 men and women we identified who died in the line of duty in calendar years 2023 and years prior. These men and women were shot and killed. They were killed in traffic accidents responding to calls for service. They were killed in medical events sustained as a result of taking a law enforcement action. Some of them developed cancers unique to the recovery efforts following the terror attacks in 9-11. Those and more we represent and honor here tonight.

So there's going to be over 30,000 people here today. What does that tell you? It tells me that in part every single one of these deaths has such a deep and lasting impact on the law enforcement community. But it also tells me as a citizen of this country, which I think we're so lucky to call home, that the citizens in this country also feel that impact. That they're willing and able to come out and help support not just the surviving family members, not just the men and women who are still out there doing the job, but to support all of us in law enforcement.

Everyone who ever has or ever will wear the badge. Why more than ever do you guys feel a bond? Almost it's like you against them. You know, the law enforcement community is so close and tight knit. There's only about 800,000 men and women who are actively sworn at any given time trying to patrol a population of 350 million. And every single one of the deaths has such a deep impact. Every single police officer that I know knows someone personally whose name is on our very sacred wall. Every one of those men and women whose names are on our walls has a story, has a father, has a child, has a sibling, has a spouse, many of whom are with us here tonight to help celebrate and honor their loved ones. The thing that strikes me is that how many people show up from around the country anytime an officer loses their life serving and they don't know the person, they'll show up just to be there.

Why? There's a quote on the southwest corner of the memorial that says, carved on these walls is the story of America, of a continuing quest to preserve both democracy and decency and to protect a national treasure that we call the American dream. And I think when an officer dies in line of duty, the broad American public responds to that very, those very words and the very calling of the men and women who have sacrificed everything for them. Think about the marshals in North Carolina that lost their lives.

And I'm also thinking about Jonathan Diller, who is in my town. And I watched that town being totally taken over like I've never seen before. And there are people miles on the road, five or six deep that would stand for hours as they waited for the hearse to show up and the mass to start. You know, we're so lucky to live in this great country. And the fact is, is that oftentimes you won't find it on Twitter.

You almost certainly won't find it on MSNBC. And just to a worrying degree from even too many of our elected officials. But the reality is, is that there is a tsunami of support for law enforcement across this country. And every single officer, every single time an officer dies like that, the country comes out to help support the men and women who have died in the line of duty. It was great the president went to Syracuse when those officers lost their lives. It was also very special for a former president to show up in Massapequa for Jonathan Diller.

You know, I think it's appropriate and perfectly in tune with the responsibilities of the president of the United States to show up to pay tribute to to help all of us honor the men and women who have died for us. How important is it for the politicians to the survival of the men and women who serve? How important is the rules they make and what they do?

It's so critically important. I have said for many years now that I think the existential crisis facing law enforcement is recruitment and retention and the words from our elected leaders have and are having an impact, a negative impact on the ability of departments to recruit and retain to interest the next generation and serving their country, serving their community. And there's just no question in my mind that anyone could steal man to me in argument that the words coming from too many of our politicians are having a detrimental impact, an effect on the men and women who are trying to do this job. What about the DA's when you make the arrest and put your lives on the line and then they don't get charged or they get out or the no cash bail? Certainly another consideration. Men and women out there trying to do the job to some degree become demoralized when they feel like they're doing their part and the rest of the system is not keeping up with them. So, you know, there's lots of factors there. We try not to get too political, but the reality is, is that all of this combines to form a negative atmosphere towards and about law enforcement.

And I think the tone and tenor of the conversation must change from our elected leaders. And when you're doing your job, you can't worry about being put in jail yourself and your whole livelihood taken to its knees. You lose your job. You could lose your family.

Then you could lose your freedom. It's never it hasn't been like that in the past. It has not been like that in the past. And I know for certain that that has become a very strong consideration for the men and women out there on the street who are forced to make split second decisions to save their own life or someone else's.

It absolutely has become part of the decision making process of an officer. And for certain, for certain men and women now and in the future will be added to our very sacred walls by virtue of them hesitating, pausing even for a moment. Right. What's going to be happening here tonight for people watching around the country? This candlelight vigil, thirty five previous times you've done it.

This is the thirty six. Give me an idea what's going to take place. It's so hard to put into words, but you will be able to feel the emotion coursing through the air here, coursing through the survivors, the co-workers, the peers of this profession, the men and women from our country, and even citizens from around the world come here to support law enforcement and to help celebrate the lives of the men and women who have died in the line of duty.

To honor them, to help the survivors hopefully find peace as they make their way along the journey of healing, of which tonight is an integral, critical part. And lastly, I do see some signs of hope. I'm not in law enforcement, but I hear recruitment is beginning to go up. The whole reimagine police. Let's let's defund the police. Not many people are saying that anymore.

Certainly not politicians. I think that they that has that slogan and that idea has fallen on deaf ears and that across the country, the men and women, the citizens who support and elect those elected leaders right are saying quite loudly, quite forcefully that we support law enforcement. We need law enforcement or more people come into the academy. You know, I left two years ago and our numbers were down dramatically from the department I served in. We were down more than 400 officers and that is the same as every department that I am aware of.

Every department I know of is down in terms of the active slots they could fill and the active number of officers on the streets. I haven't seen evidence of it improving, but I hear you saying it and I hope it's true. What would what would improve it?

Give me some ideas. Men and women who are in positions of power, particularly elected positions to come out forcefully and say law enforcement has been and continues to be an overwhelming force for good. And we're so proud and lucky to have the men and women who are willing and able to go out and help protect our communities.

I know she didn't say money, right? Men and women in uniform are not doing this job for money. They're doing it because it's a calling, because they what they feel they must contribute back into the society, which has given them so much.

It's because they like I hope every citizen hearing this today is so incredibly lucky to call this country home. And lastly, about the families. So it's to the officers serves, but the families also serving. The families are every bit as much as part of serving as the law enforcement officer. And they're every bit the victim when that officer dies in the line of duty.

Find your local police officer. Thank him or her. Say to him or her, you might not see support on Twitter. You might not see it on MSNBC, but I support you. We as a country need you. We'll watch Fox.

We'll watch Fox. Fox and Friends, thank you so much for helping us to tell this story. Yeah, Bill Alexander, just a great guy. And he was a temporary fill in as a CEO when their CEO moved on. And then they just said, Bill, you're doing a great job.

We want you to stay. And now you know why. Coming up a little bit later, you're going to hear from some of the fallen first responder families.

They all have tragedy. They overcame it. But the good news for them, as they expressed to me, is that they feel like they have a blue family, not just in the people that served with their loved ones, but everybody that wears a uniform because they all pitch in.

They know that sadly they could be in the same spot for themselves one day. Back with those survivor families in just a moment, you listen to a special Memorial Day edition of The Brian Kilmeade Show. Out of the gates and ready to go.

Hey, it's Hutton Withrow. Hot Mike is here on the Outkick Network. We've got your afternoon covered with the latest sports discussion, and it's available wherever you find your audio.

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Truth you demand. This is The Brian Kilmeade Show. It's so interesting at the end of police week, being able to go cover it right after doing both radio and TV shows. I had a chance to talk to a lot of people there that their police week to support them and a lot of family members in the right in the front of the of the event, which is outdoors on a beautiful night.

They got so lucky with the weather and they deserved it. You see all the survivors now on the right was mostly from the south in the middle was mostly from New York. I found in New Jersey and I had a chance to talk to so many of them and someone didn't want to talk. And I thoroughly understood that some of them were little kids and never got to know their family. And it's really sad about that. But I talked to two two families in particular about their loved ones, what they did, how they lost their lives and why it was so important to be there.

Here's a little of my interviews with both potential. Why? Why was it important to be here today?

I want to represent my husband. Because he loved me. And I know he would have wanted his family and friends and co-workers to be here in honor of his service to Mississippi. So during covid, when everyone had to was told to stay home, he had to work. And what was that like? I mean, for him, it was good. He enjoyed his job.

But what happened? He contracted covid. And how soon after he got it, did he pass away? He contracted covid about beginning of November and he died December 29th. How long was he on the job?

Oh, 20 by 23 years. How would he describe his service? Oh, he loved me. So he loved his service. He did his best.

What people don't understand, too, is the whole family serves, right? Could you describe what it's like being the spouse of somebody in uniform? Nervous.

Every day. Nervous and praying that he comes home. And he did come home, but he came down with a deadly illness. Why was it important for you to be here today? Just to represent him, because he, like I said earlier, he loved his habit patrol. He loved his co-workers and his friends and he loved his family.

Right. And what's going to be happening here today? Today, we're going to be memorializing him and other families who have lost their loved ones, you know, while they're doing honor and duty for their state. And what's it going to be like? Is his name going to be on the wall? Yes, sir. What's that going to be like for you and your family? Very emotional, but honorable.

It's always a place for you to go, right? Yes. What do people know about serving in uniform out there watching right now? Say that again, please. What do people know about serving in uniform? Oh, it is an honor for anyone to stand and risk their lives to protect us and serve us, the United States, their family, their community, all. Do you guys feel appreciated? This is a tough time to be a police officer, isn't it?

Yes, it is a tough time, and I appreciate all service people who do this for us every day. Is that something you were thinking about doing, Jamal? I mean, growing up, I've always wanted to be like him.

I learned a lot of things from him. But I've been doing some thinking, so I still got some time ahead of me. But if I do, I most definitely would do it. Do you think things are changing for officers now, like a year ago or two years ago? Do you think people appreciate them more? Yes.

I can't speak for everybody, but I most definitely can't speak for myself, but yes. What's your name? Eddie Nix. Eddie Nix.

And what about your son? He was Dale Nix, Sergeant Dale Nix. How long was he on the job?

Twenty-two years. What happened? He encountered a robbery. Off duty?

Off duty, but they're never off duty. And he challenged them, and they moved away from him, and he followed. And then they entered a vehicle, and as he approached the vehicle, they shot and killed him. When did this happen?

Four months ago, January the 30th. What's it been like for you and your family? It's an undescribable pain, Ron. You can't describe the pain. And that's what's so great about this, because every one of us have had that pain. I'm a retired firefighter. I've seen Beth up close and personal.

But it's nothing compared to that phone call when you get it and you're told that he's gone. And how many years was he on? Twenty-two years.

Twenty-two years. And did you always worry about this? I did until when he was on the streets, but he was actually a sergeant with family victims. He handled spousal abuse, kids, and he loved it. He did it for six years and did a great job, and we thought, he's off the street. I have a younger son who's a firefighter.

So you move your fear there, because he's still on the line. We never expected what happened to Dale to happen. It just came out of the blue.

And it's just four months ago, so this is so new. Do you feel as though your son felt appreciated? In his job, yes. Do you feel appreciated as far as law enforcement?

I don't think so. The general public doesn't appreciate law enforcement. They don't understand the possibility of that call that can come any time. And all these people have had that.

They've all had that call. What's so difficult is I'm sitting here talking to you, and in five minutes I could be crying my eyes out. Right. You never get over it. Never.

It's never something you get over. I've talked to people who've lost kids 22 years ago, 20 years ago. I've had them, you know, Dale was the last officer who died in 2023. He died December 30, 2023.

Right before New Year's Eve, right after Christmas. Yep. So today, there's 36,000 people or more are going to show up. What does that tell you? It tells me the appreciation of law enforcement as a family. We're a family regardless of the joke used to be in my house. I was a firefighter.

But it was always the police fire thing. But this is family. It's hard to express the closeness and how much the camaraderie is among these people.

Honestly, these people, we're one of those people. It's amazing that somebody is willing to put their life on the line every day for what these guys make as a living. It's crazy. It's crazy. Is your son's name going to be on the wall?

It is. How do you feel about that? I don't know yet. We go over tomorrow to see the wall, and we've been told by parents it's already there, how devastating it can be.

So you try to get prepared, but you never are. But at least you'll be remembered forever. Forever.

Forever. We just listened to those families tell their extremely personal stories, and I think you all know this. I think I'm speaking to the choir. But they don't do it for the benefits. They don't do it for the money. They do it out of the sense of service. Thankfully, there is a little bit of optimism, a little bit of optimism that recruiting is going up and that people are changing the perception of the need to not reimagine police and not defund them.

It's refund them. Coming up next, Arthur Brooks. How to build the life you want.

And the art and science of getting happier. He did it with this woman named Oprah Winfrey. Maya Dewey with Arthur Brooks next. A talk show that's real.

This is the Brian Kilmeade Show. The reason Donald Trump will win is because he's the greatest fighter we've ever had in the history of politics. I endorsed him a year ago, so a lot of us knew this comeback was coming. He's going to win because he's an authentic human being that relates to people on a personal level that, quite frankly, DeSantis and Nikki didn't do, and they're great people, but they didn't do. That's why people love Donald Trump. And the people that do like him love him, and the people that really don't like him really don't like him in a way I've never seen before.

But if you have a politician who's going to pack a house, we all know there's only one person they could do it these days. Arthur Brooks is with us. That's a little taste of his old life, the political life. He's a Parker Gilbert Montgomery professor and author of Build the Life You Want, the Art and Sciences of Getting Happier. He's also the Art and Sciences of Happiness online workshop, a series of ten video lessons with downloadable resources, a podcast component, and other learning tools. So there is a podcast. I asked you if you had a podcast.

Yeah, yeah. It's a podcast component. I'm not doing a weekly podcast at this point, but I'm teaching. So you're taking your course and you're putting it online?

You broke it up into ten? Yeah, I mean, I do. It's a workshop. So, you know, I teach a course at the Harvard Business School on the science of happiness, and there's a lot of ideas out there.

And so I have workshops that are available for people who want to learn on their own. Not everybody gets to go to Harvard, as it turns out. Right. So I wanted to, I know you used to be very political. Yeah, yeah. I was running a think tank in D.C. for 11 years. Right.

That'll do it. So when you hear our leaders of today as opposed to other years, like when we roll old tapes back and hear what Truman was running on and what Nixon was running on and JFK, it's not what the country could do for you, what you could do for your country. I can't imagine a politician saying this now.

Are the nature of our politicians getting us down? Yeah. So there's a big problem.

There's a psychological problem in the United States, and this is one of the things that I teach. There's a concept called dark triad. Now, dark triad sounds cool, right?

Like a band or something. Dark triad is a combination of three personality characteristics that happens in seven percent of the population. Narcissism, which means it's all about me. Machiavellianism, which means I'm willing to hurt you to get stuff for me. And psychopathy, to be psychopathic, which means I have no remorse.

Seven percent of the population has this constellation of personality characteristics. Under normal circumstances, they're not rewarded. People don't like them. People avoid them. People don't want to date them.

People don't want to watch them on TV. But in certain circumstances where these malignant, narcissistic bullies actually can take over the political system, that's what you start to see on both right and left. And that's what we have in America today is making us nuts.

But you drove it down. But fundamentally, don't people of strength or with the character or physical strength, have they always been leaders in society? So, yeah. But they don't have to be dark triads. Lots of people with good character, with strong personalities, with a hardcore point of view, who really are natural leaders. But they love their fellow human beings.

They're not horribly narcissistic. They're not willing to hurt other people. They're not willing to do anything to get elected and anything to avoid losing. The trouble is that when we have bullies on both sides, that everybody's more afraid of the other bully than they dislike their own. And so the result of that is that most Americans, more than 70%, say, Trump versus Biden. I don't want that. I don't want that.

But okay, I guess I'll vote for my guy, whatever side they're on. So how does that affect the collective psyche in this country that you've noticed? It's bad. It's a really bad thing. There have been really three big storms pushing down American happiness.

And it's been going on for a long time. But go back to 2008, 2009. That was when everybody got social media on their devices. That was horrible for happiness, especially young adults. Who would have thought? If I told you in 2008 that's going to happen, we'd be more connected, more diverse, we'd be smarter.

Nobody's lonely anymore. Accessibility to knowledge. Yeah, it's a huge problem. And everybody listening to us who's got adolescent kids, they know exactly what I'm talking about here.

They're more isolated, more anxious, more lonely, more depressed. And hard to concentrate. Totally. Totally.

They're very distracted. And then, of course, more recently, the storm was the coronavirus epidemic, where people got way lonelier. I mean, the symptoms of depression went up by fourfold and didn't come back down because of the horrendous, the way that we reacted to the epidemic, which was locking everybody down. You know, basically, you can't go out.

And if you do, you know, you're risking granny's life. You know, that whole thing that lasted was so horrible, especially for young adults. But in the middle of that and a slow rolling crisis that we've seen for American happiness is politics. Politics has been driving us crazy, making us anxious and actually depressed. And part of the reason is because you have political parties and media telling people that if somebody disagrees with you, you've got to cut them off. One in six Americans is not talking to a family member today because of politics, which is insanity. Family is one of the core parts of the happiness equation. You can't be happy if you start cutting family members off. The only reason to have a schism with family is abuse. And differences of political opinion are not abuse. This is appealing to ancient structures in the human brain that say this is in-group, out-group, my people, their people.

It's tribal. So, Arthur, you have a knowledge of politics and now you have an expertise in happiness. Are you going to tell me that Kennedy and Nixon going at it with controversial ends to the election? We had a different reaction in the 60s when we were anti-Vietnam, in the middle of racial unrest. It was different then? It was actually a lot more like now than people recognize. Assassinations?

Yeah, for sure. And so you look at 1960, 1969, there was something like 700 political bombings. In some ways, it was much worse. But then the country tends to come back together, fall apart, come back together. This is a normal thing that we're seeing. What we need next, remember, 1973, 1974, Watergate, the whole thing.

Sure. Oh, it was disruptive. It was the worst political parties. Double figure interest rates? You're absolutely right.

No one's buying a house? And then what? Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan came along. Look, my family was completely against Reagan. I come from a liberal household in Seattle, Washington, of academics and artists, you can imagine, right? But I remember I was in high school, Reagan got elected, and I heard him and I thought, he loves me.

I don't even know him, but I actually think he loves me. And it converted me, man. I mean, Brian, I became a different person because of the love that Ronald Reagan had for the United States and indirectly for me.

And leaders can do this. And just keep in mind too, and I feel weird saying this to you, but I remember in high school that people thought he was dumb, they thought he was reckless, they thought he was dangerous. And the first time I realized how much he was beloved was when he died and that funeral and the turnout. But when we were living through him, do you think we appreciated him even though he did win 49 states in the reelection?

Yeah, no, for sure. So the key thing to keep in mind is that any company or family or community or even country has one of two basic polarities culturally. It's either based on fear or it's based on love. Fear and love are opposites. They're psychological opposites. Hate and love are not opposites. Hate comes from fear. And so that doesn't mean that if you have a love-based polarity in your family, that there is no problem. Hate and love aren't opposites?

No, no, no, no. Fear and love are opposites. So interesting. And this is a biblical principle too, that perfect love drives out fear. But this is also, it goes back to ancient philosophies and social psychologists understand this is true today. Different parts of the brain, fear and love turn each other off in the human brain. And so the result of that is that when politicians are using fear-based language to drive us apart, what they're doing is that they're suffocating love that we have for our friends and family. And that's why we're lonely and depressed in America today. You also think building on what you just said, if I win, you lose. That attitude gets us nowhere. For example, now we understand if Trump wins, democracy is over, there might not be any more elections.

It's crazy. And Hitler, Hitler, excuse me, really Hitler and maybe on the other side, they'll say, the border is going to be wide open. We're going to be getting all these other illegal immigrants, crimes going to run rampant. You see what's going on in New York City. So do you think that leaders should be more responsible in their rhetoric?

Oh, for sure. But they're doing this because they're trying to appeal to these ancient structures in our brains to make us disgusted by other people. There's a part of the brain called the insula. Its whole job is making you feel disgust. So you're afraid of a pathogen, like something in your fridge smells bad, that will, this part of the brain will be stimulated, so you'll throw it away and not eat it.

It's evolved is what it comes from. When politicians use disgust-based language, they say that other person hates America. That other person wants to destroy your family. They'll make you feel disgusted and you'll have the same reaction.

It'll hijack your brain. This is exactly what they're doing to us. They're dehumanizing us.

Our people are dehumanizing them as their followers. Do we care more about, why do we care more about politics today than ever before? Well, the truth is that politics is more ever-present because the media takes a different role in our lives is what we find is much, much easier to be surrounded by information. So before the internet, for example, it was the nightly news and a newspaper, and most of the day you weren't getting any news at all. Well, the truth of the matter is that on your device, you're always being delivered real time information and people get quite addicted to it and they distract themselves. They're never bored. And one of the ways that people distract themselves is the over-consumption of news.

And that's a very bad practice for your brain. So you know, there's so much to take in. I mean, you've made happiness a science. Right. Is it a choice? Yeah. Well, happiness, it's a choice to actually pursue it. So you can't be happy because, I mean, cosmically happy, this side of heaven, I mean, you and I believe that we're going to, if we're lucky, we're going to get to heaven.

That's pure happiness. You gotta know somebody. Yeah. Right? You got a guy? Yeah.

I got a guy to get you in. But what we really want is, my co-author is Oprah Winfrey on this work. And she talks about happierness, which is exactly the right way to think about it. Now, pure happiness means no negative emotions. You're going to have negative emotions. Life has aversive events, has things going on, and you need negative emotions to keep you alive because there are threats in life. You need to be sad sometimes and angry or afraid or disgusted, for sure. Life is like that. But you can get happier by understanding the science. That's why we put together this workshop that people can actually take and learn more about it and start to apply it and start to bring it to other people.

And what I really want is for people to start seeing themselves as happiness teachers. But if I'm so focused on my happiness, am I selfish? No.

No. On the contrary, you got to put your own oxygen mask on first, Brian. If you're going to be somebody who's going to bring, look, you have tons of people who watch you on television and listen to you on the radio. You have a responsibility as a leader to lift people up and bring them together, but you can't do it if you're miserable. You can't do it. Unhappy leaders can't have happy followers.

It just doesn't work that way. But you have to focus on what makes you happy. Yeah. And what makes you happy is the same thing that makes everybody else happy.

Everybody feels like a special snowflake in their happiness, but the truth is it's just four things, faith, family, friends, and work, work that serves other people, whether it's for taking care of your family or working in a job. Those are the big four. So I think some things are almost mislabeled. For example, when kids play sports, you go, if they're not having fun, don't let them play. Yeah, that's wrong. It's wrong.

It's wrong. Because I go, what do you mean by fun? Like, you know, tag, like fun, smiling. When fun is learning to be in a team, learning your role in a team, learning to listen to a coach. Trying to win that game, trying to play the best you can, trying to get the most out of your skills. I don't watch people running sprints and thinking, look how happy they are.

No. They're focused on a mission. How does the mission play a role in your happiness? You have to have a direction in your life. This is, you know, meaning in life is a funny thing.

It just means when you retire, oftentimes people go depressed. Yeah, for sure. There goes the mission.

Yeah, I know. And so part of meaning is what we call purpose, and purpose is goals and direction. You can't have a sense of meaning if you don't have goals and direction in your life. So I work with young people. I mean, I teach 20-somethings at, you know, at the business school, but I'm working with college students constantly, and I have young adult kids. My kids are in their 20s.

All three of my kids are in their 20s. I'm talking constantly about seeing the future, seeing what you're moving toward. Not to be attached to it, because it's going to change. You're not going to get exactly everything that you want, but to have intention without that attachment and moving in a direction. You must have that.

You must have those things. Do you feel like a therapist? How are you different from a therapist then? Well, I'm a teacher, not a therapist.

I'm not saying I'm going to fix you. But it seems like you're coaching a lot of people in a way that therapists would. Well, a good therapist is really a good teacher.

That's really what it's all about. Because, you know, a lot of people go to therapy. I don't, but a lot of people do, and I know a lot of people who do therapy, I know a lot of therapists. The best ones are the ones who teach you about you. We're helping you get your PhD in Eunice. Not to, you know, fix you and to, you know, to, you know, blow your mind in every single session, but for you to uncover what's actually going on.

And there are lots of ways to do that. There's a whole suite of techniques that I teach called metacognition, which sounds fancy, but it isn't. It just means thinking about yourself and interrogating your feelings. I talk about journaling. I talk about meditation. I talk about prayers of petition, which for Christian people like me is super important.

What does that mean? Prayers of petition. That means you're offering something up to God. And when you do that, you can't actually, the emotions are produced in a part of your brain called the limbic system is very animal. When you actually interrogate your emotions, you move the experience of those emotions to the most human parts of your brain and you can manage them so they don't manage you. But you have to do something on purpose. Writing them down actually moves them to the human parts of your brain, praying to God, actually articulating these things.

I'm feeling this thing, Lord, can you help me? That moves it to the more human parts of your brain. And that's just the same thing that therapy is supposed to be doing. But you know, you don't have to go someplace and pay a hundred bucks. So when people say there's a science to prayer, there is a human science.

Oh my goodness. I mean, the research is completely overwhelming. It's super important. I mean, people who are religious but don't pray, they're leaving all the value on the table.

I mean, you know, regardless of what your actual religious views are, I believe God actually wants to hear from me because we have a friendship. But even more than that, I actually know as somebody who's dedicated to the science of this stuff, looking at the neuroscience of this, it changes your brain. Were you different? If I met you 10 years ago, 15 years ago, would you have a, did you always have this deep thought about what's going to make me feel happier while you're competing in your think tank world? It was hard. It was much harder. So when I was running an organization, I mean, I was raising money and giving speeches and I was in the, you know, the rough and tumble of Washington DC all the time. And I realized that I wasn't happy. And I wanted to be. Look, I'm a social scientist. My PhD is in behavioral sciences. I've been doing this work for a long time, but I wasn't taking my own medicine. I wasn't doing research on what I really needed. My wife finally took me by the shoulders and said, Hey man, you got your PhD.

Why don't you use it on something useful? And so I actually retired and went to Harvard to teach happiness. That's why. Well, man, you really listen. Oh yeah.

You put all men to shame. All right. So listen, stick around for a few more minutes. The art and science of happiness online workshop is a series of 10 video lessons, downloadable resources, a podcast component as well. Where do we get it?

Back in a moment. Learning something new every day on the Brian Kilmeade show, a radio show like no other. It's Brian Kilmeade. Arthur Brooks, the bestselling author multiple times. He's got that book he wrote with Oprah Winfrey, build the life you want the art and sciences of getting happier are there from, from concept to creation to release what's this experience been like with Oprah did a lot of things promoting it together. The friendship is taken root.

Yeah, it's great. I mean, it's, uh, she's, she's funny because you and I have been in that enviable position of meeting a lot of interesting and very well known people generally. They're not the same in private as they are in public. She's completely the same. I mean, it's like everybody admires her for her public persona and in person when we're having dinner or dinner table or you know, whatever, just hanging out, she's exactly the same person. She's humble. She's nice. What she really cares about is, is, is making life better for other people.

That's what she's used her platform for, which is why she can be this prominent and still very happy. And what did you, uh, the book and the response, what's it been like? It's been incredible. I mean, it was a number one New York Times bestseller for multiple weeks. It was spent the entire fall on the New York Times bestseller list, which was a thrill, which is great. And it gave us an opportunity to reach millions and millions of people. It's in 30 languages already.

It's great. And do you think you'll do something else? I mean, did this just lay the groundwork for the next book? Yeah, we're talking. We're talking about what we can do next to bring the signs of happiness to more people, more people, more people. Cause that's really what we have the same mission, but different means of doing it.

And if she still had her show, then I would just go on her show a lot. But this is different. So we're looking for new ways.

We're, we're, we're looking for ideas right now and how to do this bigger. And is this a rich people problem trying to be happy? Not really because everybody's got the same happiness equation, faith, family, friends and work, rich, poor, everybody else, black, white, every single religion. We all want the same things.

And here's the million dollar question. Does money get you happy? No, it doesn't.

Does it play a good role? Well, what it does is money is at very relatively low levels, eliminates many sources of unhappiness, but above relatively low levels. All that matters is how you spend it.

The way to spend it is on the people that you love experiences with the people you love because happiness is love. Brian John. John Madden said that term. He goes, I like to have money because he gave me the freedom to do what I want. That's a good thing.

As long as you're using that freedom to love people more. All right. Thanks to Brooks to find out about his seminars, his series and his books are the great to see you again. Thanks, man. And I feel happy.

Had you had because you chose to come in. It makes me happy to see you every time, Brian. From the Fox News Podcast Network, subscribe and listen to the Trey Gowdy podcast. Former federal prosecutor and four term U.S. congressman from South Carolina brings you a one of a kind podcast. Subscribe and listen now by going to Fox News podcast dot com. Listen to the show at free on Fox News Podcast Plus on Apple podcast, Amazon Music with your prime membership or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-05-27 00:20:04 / 2024-05-27 00:37:27 / 17

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