All right, hey guys, welcome across all of our locations, man. We're excited to dive back into the Book of Song of Solomon today.
So if you have a copy of Scripture, you could take it out and turn with me to Song of Solomon chapter four. And as you guys are turning there, I've got a quick announcement. A couple, you know, about a year and a half ago, this was an announcement. We kind of were rallying for it, the trip, and then all of a sudden, man, stuff in the Middle East kind of broke out, and we weren't able to take the trip to Israel. But that is coming back around, all right.
And so I want Invite you formally. If this is something you've been interested in, have thought about, we are going to Israel April fifth through the fourteenth in twenty twenty seven.
Okay, and I want you to I want you to know this is not a mission trip. It is a maturity trip.
Okay, it's it's the idea of what does it do in the believer's life when you have a chance to actually see the Garden of Gethsemane or to stand on top of the mountain where the fire fell when Elijah called for it and. And I mean, just you know, all these things to actually wade out into the Jordan River. It's the idea of taking what many of us have learned in Scripture from 2D to 3D. And I would love for you guys to come if you're interested in that. I know that some of you are like, "Isn't there a war over there?" There's always a war over there.
Okay, somebody's like, "Man, are you scared?" No. I'm not. All right.
So I'm taking one of my kids. I'm ready to go. If you're interested in this at all, I want you to text a trip to eight seven two one seven. I just can't imagine what it's going to be like to have fifty or seventy five Mercy Hillers over there experiencing all that together for ten days. And I think it's something that man is going to be really beneficial for many of us in terms of our Christian walk.
So. Love to give you that. All right, Song of Solomon chapter four is where we're going to be today, and I'm going to go ahead and lay this out. All right, we are doing a two part series within the series, okay? And so this is week one of two, where we are going to go all the way sort of to the heart of it.
Man, we have talked about romance, we've talked about provision, we've talked about perfection, you know, protection, men's things, women's things, but at its core, the book of Song of Solomon is about the physical nature of Oneness.
Okay, it's about being physically and spiritually one, and that's what we're going to begin to get into over the next two weeks. I want to show you some things that we see in the book of Song of Solomon about the sexual union and some of God's design that goes with it, and how good it is in God's design, and how destructive it can be outside of God's design.
Now, when we start talking about these things, okay, it can be taboo. Man, we're in a church. You're talking about sex. All of that. I heard a story one time that really captivated me, and it was just kind of a way to think about how much we should be bringing up this topic in our homes, in our groups, among people that are mature believers, and pushing each other forward to think biblically about this topic.
I heard a story one time where a guy said, "Man, I was you know it wasn't a real story, but he was just saying, imagine that you are an indigenous place, you are in the jungle somewhere, you are in Africa or something like that." And there's a people group there that you encounter, and and you realize that this people group they're scarred, they're they're scarred horribly, um, they're they're maimed. I mean, kids are running around without a limb, or I mean, they've got bite marks all over, and you're just you're kind of trying to figure out like what is happening in this in this people, and and maybe later on in that day you you go down to the river, and when you get to the river, you're horrified. You know why? Because you see swirling crocodiles everywhere. You look, and these crocodiles are just swirling the banks, and and you end up you end up saying like you're watching, and there's kids that are just running down and jumping in the water, and there's there's women that are washing clothes, and guys are picking up water to carry it back, and there's just these crocodiles everywhere, and they're menacing and aggressive, and the second you raise your voice and you say hey.
Guys, don't go in the water. There's crocodile before you can even get it out. And say the word crocodiles.
Somebody from the village grabs you and they say, "Shh, we don't talk about crocodiles. We don't. It's not polite. It's taboo. It's something that we don't do here." Now we take that story and we say, "Man." The story is kind of funny.
It's a little bit, it's a little bit like, man, you know. But I think about that for our churches, and I think about that for our families, and I think about that for our kids, guys. If we have this thing in our heart that says we don't talk about sex because it's taboo, or because it's this, or because it's that, we've got to get over that today, and we've got to realize like there is some real destruction that happens.
Some of us in our church and in our culture, guys, we're living. With the destruction all around us, we're living in divorce culture. We're living in sexless marriages. We're living in deep regrets over hooking up over and over and over on the college campus, and we're thinking about these things from a standpoint of, man, we we don't want to bring it up because it's hard to talk about. Guys, being hard to talk about is a reason that we need to bring it up, not a reason that we don't bring it up.
And so for the next two weeks, man, we're just going to try to hit it head on. All right.
Here's the big idea for this weekend. In God's design, sex follows marital commitment. All right.
Within God's design, sex follows marital commitment. Sex is a physical union of a spiritual reality. You know, when I when I was growing up, there were these songs that would be played on the on the. You know your whatever your CD player back then, you know, and it was it was these songs that had these horrible lyrics. You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals.
It's this evolutionary idea that sex is is this evolutionary urge that we're trying to to fill. I mean, I think of another one. You know, there was a song that said, "I'm into having sex. I'm not into making love." And it's like all these horrible things in our culture that are trying to push even the church to have this mindset around sexual union that is just nothing but physical, and it's not in God's design. What we need to do is we need to say no.
We're taking that back, and we're understanding that there is design and boundary around this particular topic because of how important it is.
So let's dive in. We're going to be in Song of Solomon chapter four. We're going to start in verse seven. Here's what the scripture says: "You are altogether beautiful, my love. There is no flaw in you." That's verse seven.
Skip down to verse nine. You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride. You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride? How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice?
Your lips, sorry guys, your lips drip nectar. My bride, honey and milk are under your tongue, and the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
Now, I've mentioned this earlier when I was preaching a couple weeks ago. We know in the Song of Solomon that the man has game.
Okay, I mean just the way he speaks. I mean, you know, he told the joke about how you know your hair is like a flock of goats. I've been telling Anna I love her because she has all her teeth. I mean, the whole thing.
Okay, and. But what we see here in this passage is a few things, and this is the point that precede the sexual union in marriage.
Okay, they are they are they are part of an ongoing kind of idea, but they are preceding. They happen first.
So the first thing I want to mention to you of three this weekend is this: sex follows captivation. All right, we see that so clearly. You have verse nine captured my heart, my sister, my bride.
Now, a lot of people view chapter four as actually sort of a. A a wedding ceremony actually, it's like the vows.
Okay, so I don't want anyone to hear when I'm doing these three points about sex follows this and sex follows this. That's like any any way that we want to say I I'm captivated by you means now it's time to have sex.
Okay, we're talking about in marriage, all right.
So this is chapter four, probably more like wedding vows. And what is he saying to her? He says, "I am captivated by you." Now, the way that I'm interpreting the Song of Solomon is that the actual Actual consummation of the wedding vows and their actual sexual union happens later in the book. It happens in chapter four, verse sixteen, and chapter five, verse one.
Okay, so this is sort of leading up to it, and the point is there is this affirmation of captivation that comes first. All right, so the affirmation of captivation is something that happens on the front end. You see it again in verse nine. Look at look what it says. I want you to pick out three different times that he says this.
He says, "You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride." All right, it's not just my girlfriend. It's not just the one I love. It's my bride. Look what he says. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride?
Verse ten. Look what he says in verse eleven. Your lips drip nectar, my bride, and honey and milk and all of these things are under your tongue and in your lips and all of this stuff. Count how many times he affirms her as his bride. He he he is.
What what does that mean in marriage? When we do our vows, what we're saying essentially is. You know, verse seven in chapter four says, "There is no flaw in you." Now we understand that there is flaws in all of us, right? I know I'm flawed, man. I know you.
You know you're flawed. We we understand that. But in the wedding vows and in the ceremony, what is so important that this comes first is what we are saying: is I am committing myself to seeing you in a certain way. I am committing myself to you wholly. I'm I'm turning everything I have over to you, and I am confirming that that I am captivated by you.
I am captivated by you. Yes, there's feelings, man. We have feelings in in dating relationships. We have feelings in romance. But guys, you know this.
When you get married, you can be married for years.
Sometimes the feelings are there.
Sometimes the feelings ain't there. Captivation is a promise. I am captivated by you, my bride. I am committing this to you, and so I would say like this: intimacy in marriage follows the affirmation of the marriage. the The sexual union follows and is really helped by an environment where we have already pledged ourselves and our captivation to one another.
Now. This is very gospel-centered, is the way that we would say it at Mercy Hill.
Okay, for for this reason, I'm going to go on. This this is going to sound like a bit of a tangent. It's not. It'll tie.
Okay, here's the thing. This is exactly how your intimacy with God works. It is the exact same way that your intimacy and growth in your Christian relationship with God works.
Okay, think about a gospel center church like Mercy Hill. What do we preach? Do we preach? That what you're supposed to do is go and be really good and do good moral things so that God will one day accept you. That's the opposite of the gospel, right?
That's religion, not gospel. Religion says go do, maybe God will accept you. The gospel says what Jesus has done. It's not spelled do, it's d o n e. Provides a heart motivation for us to want to go and to do the things that God has called us to do.
What is the cross? What has Jesus done on the cross? Jesus lived the life we didn't live and died the death that we deserve, so that in Him we can have the newness of life. I want to read you a sentence because this is exactly the way that I want to say it. We follow Jesus as Lord because He has commanded love in our heart that He bought with His generosity toward us, and He did that on the front end.
Okay, he he declares over us just like the song of Solomon. What has God said over us when we admit our sin and believe in what He has done and confess Him as the Lord of our life? God is saying, "You are my bride." And now, because he has committed himself as a groom to the bride, now we are in a situation in our relationship with God that we can go flourish. Not because we're worried about if we're doing enough to get his captivation. No, he's already declared, "I am captivated by you.
I love you." You are my bride. I have brought you into this family, and now that creates the safety, the freedom, the environment for our relationship with God to grow.
Now you say, "Okay, I'm trying to follow the balancing ball here. How does that work with sex?" Listen to how sex is in our culture. Sex, many times outside of the Christian worldview, is not flowing from a declared captivation. Instead, it's part of the process to figure out whether I am going to be captivated by you or not. Do you get the difference?
It's just one big tryout. That's what it is. Hey, hey! If you can continue to please me, then I will continue to be captivated by you.
So, what we have in that situation is, man, it's never the freedom and the safety. That the commitment is supposed to provide for each spouse. Instead, we're constantly living in this bubble of, "Man, am I doing enough? How's the tryout going? Am I making the marks?
Am I getting the grade? Am I going to be able to stick around?" And it's a terrible way to live in a marriage. Hey, it's the way many of us think about our relationship with God. And and much freedom flows from understanding. He's captivated by us first.
Same thing in a marriage. You know, I remember going to in Greensboro. They have the G League basketball team.
Okay, and I'll never forget this. I've been to one G League game, and I'll never forget it because when I walked in, I walked through the I walked through the little you know metal detector, and I went off because I had a pocket knife. And the lady said, "You can." She said, "Well, you you can't go in with that pocket knife. You can just throw it right, throw it away right there in that trash can." I said, "Woman, I'd rather die." This is a pre World War II Boker pocket knife, you know.
So I had to run back to my truck and my kids. I didn't know where they were. It was this whole thing. I've told the story before, but the point of the story is, when I get in there, I sit down and I actually sit down with a dad of a guy that's playing on the G League. And it was just kind of interesting.
This guy's a professional basketball player, and I'm getting there to talk to his dad about the whole life that they're living. And a lot of these guys are on what they call a two-way contract, right? And and they'll get called up, and they get called up from the G League to the actual NBA. And I just want you to think about. And the dad was telling me the pressure is unbelievable because you get called up, and you got four days and two games to prove that you belong.
And if you can if you can prove it, you can stay. And if you can't prove it, boom, you get bounced right back into the G League. And I thought to myself, how many people are living their Christian life exactly that way? More to the point today, how many people are using their sexual lives pre-marriage? They're they're using that, or even even worse, even in a marriage, they're using that as part of the tryout process to kind of figure out, do I get to stay?
That is not what God has designed, man. What God has designed is that we would feel the the freedom, we would feel the environment of safety, the environment of a pledged commitment. That captivation is a pledge and a promise on the front end, and that produces. The the the environment to where a sexual life can flourish and be honoring to God in the way that it is supposed to be in a marriage. All right.
So sex follows captivation. Number two. Sex follows words of affirmation. All right.
Our the seminary president I went to a guy named Dr. Danny Akin. He said, you know, the most important sex organ in the body is the brain. And his point was this idea, man, that there is so much. Yes, the physical union is part of the intermingling that God does in a marriage of oneness, but it is not the only thing, and it flows from many other affirmations and many other oneness areas.
And of course, the one I want to talk about now is this idea of words, guys. Let me just give you a little thought experiment. You don't text her all day long. You uh, you you don't say nothing at dinner. You don't help with the kids at all.
I mean, you haven't said nothing.
Now it's 10:30 at night. You're sitting on the couch, eating Cheetos, watching a game, and she walks in, and you say, "Hey, babe, the the game's over at 11. Sex at 11:15. How do you think that's going to go?" Right?
So we kind of understand this on the front end. Like we're like that. That that's not exactly how you know why. Because sex is an expression of oneness that is to be shared in every area of our life, and this is one of the areas I think the Song of Solomon gets so right. When he uses words, and man, this is so much of an echo from Pastor Jason's great sermon last week that many of us saw at all of our locations.
But you know, it's this idea in marriage union must be affirmed outside the bedroom before it is affirmed inside the bedroom. You know, it's it's this idea of what are we saying to each other? Words matter when we're talking about a physical union. You know, sex is a part of oneness, but it is not the whole. If we neglect verbal, spiritual, emotional, financial, if we neglect communication, we are headed for trouble in these areas.
Words matter so much, and I will tell you, this book has confronted me. It is the second time I've preached through the Song of Solomon, and both times it hit me right between the eyes. Many times in this book, and one of the reason it hits me right between the eyes today. Is because I know this is an area that I struggle. I don't mean to be stereotypical; like, only the men struggle with this.
That is not true. There are many men, maybe even in our congregation at our campuses, that are starved for words right now. This can happen both ways. But I know in in in my marriage, it's so funny. Pastor Jason was preaching last week, and I know you're not supposed to do this, okay?
But it was a little bit like I can almost feel Anna kind of you know giving me the elbow during this part of his talk about words, because and we both know it. It's like something. I've got to grow in. Maybe it's something that you need to grow in as well. Let me tell you what I mean here.
When we say verbal, I know that's that's a big word, right? You got to have some crazy education to understand it, guys. Verbal means verbal. Verbal means words.
Okay. Verbal doesn't mean a grunt, a sigh. Verbal doesn't mean sex. Verbal doesn't mean well. I married you, didn't I?
You know. Verbal don't mean I get up and go to work every day, don't I? Verbal means verbal, the words, guys. I think about your relationship with the Lord. How closely these things are, man.
I don't know about you guys. I wake up in the morning, and one of the favorite, my favorite parts of the entire day is listening to the words of God, reading them back over myself, reading the words of God. I'm not saying I'm sitting there for 45 minutes, but I'm sitting there. I'm gonna read three chapters every single day. You read three chapters a day, you get through the Bible in a whole year.
It's like I'm gonna read the words, and I let that stuff wash over me. In the same way that God's word is so important in our life, the words of a spouse are so important. And sexual union, in so many ways, is preceded by verbal communication. You know, it's it's this idea of how are we speaking to one another. You know what?
What are we saying? Affection, affirmation, respect. How are we saying these things to each other? Because so much of what happens in our sexual lives, in terms of marriage. Y'all flows directly out of the things that we believe about each other because of what is said.
Look what he says, verse nine: "You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride. You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace." He says, "You have captivated my heart." I love what he says, "My sister, my bride." What an amazing thing to remember here together, guys. She may be your wife, but she is always your sister in Christ. Let women, you know, maybe you're heading toward marriage, maybe you're married right now. Remember this: He may end up being more than a brother, but he will never be less if you're a believer.
And what does the Bible tell us that brothers and sisters in the faith do?
Well, like a hundred times, it tells us what to do one to another. All the one another scriptures. Be at peace one with another. Don't grumble one to another. Be kind to one another.
Seek the good of one another. And all of these things are true. You know when we're when we're communicating with a spouse and we're communicating with them that you are not only my lover but you are my brother and sister in Christ. That will never change. That part of your relationship will never change, even all the way into eternity.
And it's so great that we can communicate these things. What else does he say in this passage? He says in verse nine, "You have captivated my soul. You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes." You know, think about the eyes. What are the eyes?
The eyes are the window to the soul, right? And what he's getting at is this idea. I love I love you. I care about you. This book is about physical union.
I get that, but it's an intermingling of souls. It's more than just about body. You know, guys. Does our do our wives understand that we love their heart, and their mind, and their soul that is represented in the glance of an eyes just as much as we love their body? Like, are we able to communicate that to them?
Look what he see. Look what he says in verse ten. How beautiful is your love? Again, my sister, my bride. How much better is your love than wine and the fragrance of your oils than any spice?
What is he? What is he getting at there? He's using words to make sure she understands. You are the most valuable thing to me. More than I can, more than I can go on with wine or or with whatever it is.
You are my love for you and our relationship. It is more valuable. I think, guys, many of us many times what we do is we say, "Well, I show her that because I get up and go to work," and that's it. I get up and I provide. And that's a good thing.
We've talked about that, ladies. We've talked about that during this series. Like, if you're not seeing those traits in a man, then that's not the dude.
Okay, so that's important. I understand that, but this is saying there's more to that. There's more than just provision. It's actually making sure that she understands by saying to her. Man, these are words that are going to mark her heart, mark her mind.
I love you more than just for your body. I love you more than wine. Are we saying these types of things? You know, Pastor Bobby has mentioned this before. I think it's so fun.
You know his his grandpa is still alive, Oscar. He's ninety something years old. His his wife, you know, he lost her, you know, a few years ago. But they were married for over fifty years. He wrote her a love poem.
Every single day for fifty years. All right, I mean, I don't know. As a dude, I'm just—I even say that out loud. I feel about that big right now, you know. But it's like, okay, maybe maybe we're not that.
I don't know. But can we take steps in this area to say, you know what, man, with our words?
Okay, so we know sex follows. The captivation, sex follows words of affirmation, and the last thing I want us to see is this idea of exclusivity. Let me read this, and then I'll give you the point. I want you to go to verse twelve with me. Then I'm going to bounce out of the Song of Solomon, go to another place where the same guy wrote, and he wrote in Proverbs chapter five.
Here's what it says: A garden locked is my sister, my bride. A spring locked, a fountain sealed.
Now, Pastor Jason mentioned this last week as well, and this is certainly an allusion to her sexuality that she has kept herself for him.
Now, look what it says in Proverbs five. All right, and you don't have to turn there; it's going to be on the screen. Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets, let them be for yourself alone, and not for the strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed.
And rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely dear, a graceful doe. Let her breast fill you at all times with delight. Be intoxicated always in her love. This this idea. And I don't have to be too graphic, man.
You, as you just read this, you kind of understand what it's going, what it's getting at, right? You, you have illusions to female sexuality. You have illusions to male sexuality, and this idea is these things are to be held exclusively, a locked garden, a sealed spring. Man, this is not for everyone. That this is this is for your own well.
Not scattered abroad. Not in the streets. For yourself. Not for someone else. For you alone.
The Bible teaches a very simple principle that sex is to be is designed to be something that is enjoyed and engaged in inside of the marriage bounds. We have to define what marriage is. You know, marriage before God is when a man. And a woman pledge their captivation together for life. That's what the design is.
That's where sex is supposed to remain and supposed to say. You can say it like this: Sex follows the commitment to exclusivity within God's design. Remember, they haven't come together yet. This is chapter four. They're coming together at the end of this chapter.
But what is he saying on the very front end? You have saved yourself for me for this time. And this is right and good in God's design. There are boundaries within the sexual union that are good. You know, our culture loves to say freedom isn't having no boundaries.
Now we talk about that at Mercy Hill a lot because I mean, in all honesty, that's that's really foolish. Freedom isn't having no boundaries. Really, that's like a fish saying he's going to free himself from water. You know, when when we say no bound, a healthy human sits down to dine. And they eat the right amount of the right things.
If you say, "Well, freedom is in no boundary," okay, freedom is in no boundary. Just apply that to your life. Eat whatever you want, as much as you want, whenever, at all times. How much freedom is that going to bring your life? Freedom is not the absence of boundaries.
It really doesn't take a whole lot to to come to that conclusion. Freedom is in the right boundaries, and sexual freedom is the same way. When we neglect the boundaries that God has given us of the exclusivity of this physical and spiritual relationship. To be within a marriage covenant, not a contract that we're trying out. It's a covenant.
We have pledged our loyalty. We have pledged our captivation for one another on the front end. Then. What we have is when we're outside of that boundary, we have destruction that follows.
Now that's we see that through Scripture, we see that in stories of the Bible, we certainly see it in our culture today. Like I mentioned, with all the scarring that we see, divorce culture, sexless marriages, man, these different things that we have, hookup culture, the shame and the guilt that people live with when there's things that are hidden, pornography, these different things. It's like there's so much destruction. You know, when we think. About sex, I think that what we want to say is, is sex a good thing or a bad thing?
And it feels like a lot of churches that kind of you know almost make it seem like it's a necessary evil for procreation. It's not necessary evil at all. It's a gift that God has given to His children. It's something that is is going to you know. Bolster the bonds, you know, in in a marriage when there is sexual union that is happening frequently and it's something that is being encouraged and talked about and open.
You know what it's a little bit like? It's a little bit like when believers come to the communion table. You are you are remembering together the pledged covenant from the front end, and that's a little bit what it's like. This is not a necessary evil. This is this is something that God has given, but.
When you ask the question, "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" it's the wrong question, right? Because that's the category isn't good bad. The category is in what context and how is it being handled. Sex is a powerful thing. It it is it is a dangerous thing.
Depending on where it is and the context that is being handled in, you know, I told you guys this story before. But you know, when a lot of a lot of the guys at Mercy Hill are hyped on this, I think it's awesome. These marked man moments. You know, we live in a culture where there's not really a lot of moments that transition a boy to a man, and so we try to create some moments along the way for them. And one of those moments is when they turn 13.
A lot of guys at Mercy Hill will take their kid to do something, you know, awesome and make a marked kind of moment for them and. And just sort of drive a stake in the ground that there's there's a new chapter they're they're moving into, and so I I really got hyped on that idea, and I said, man, I'm taking I'm taking AP, we're gonna go kill an alligator, okay?
So we we go down there to to we go to Florida, fly down, awesome, get down there, and we we meet the guide. He's gonna go take us to hunt this alligator, and I noticed within about five minutes that he's missing half a hand.
Now he's an alligator guide, okay? And so I'm like, well, I I text Anna and I said, Anna, I don't know if I should bring this up or not. Do you ask the guy about it or not? She helps me with my EQ, okay? And so she's like, no, you don't ask him about it.
And so we just went on with our day. And he's got half a hand. He's he's doing all the stuff. And we end up killing an alligator. And we're talking to him later.
And he says, it was crazy. He said he said, yeah, man, you got to be real careful around this stuff. He said I took a bad bite a couple years ago. And I was like, "Okay, well, he's brought it up now, right?" And so I said, "Dude, I noticed that it was crazy, man. I saw your hand, and and I can't believe that happened." And and he looked at me, and he looked at his hand.
He said, "You talking about this?" And I mean, he's got half a hand. I said, "Yeah." He said, "Oh no, bro, that was fireworks." He had been bit on the other arm with by the alligator. It was so funny though because when he said it, I I looked at AP and I was like, "See, I've told you a hundred times about fireworks, right?" Like I was like, "See, I've told you.
Now you've met a guy. You know, it's funny. You know, we have these things in our culture. You know, sex is one. You know, you the guns, fireworks.
Any, if you want to say are they good or bad, it's the wrong question." Right. the The right question is, it's a dangerous thing. It's a powerful thing. How is it being handled? That's the right question.
God designed sex to be practiced exclusively in marriage. Think about the idea of fire. I've mentioned this before. Fire in a fireplace warms the house. Fire outside of the fireplace burns the house down.
It's the it's it's how it is being handled. It is how it is being contained. And what we see in Song of Solomon chapter four verse twelve: a garden locked is my sister, my bride. A spring locked, a fountain sealed.
What we have in this passage is the clear affirmation of something. This is something that is to be held onto and to be valued. I know many of us here, many of us in our campuses, we have made mistakes in this area. Man, maybe this is not our reality anymore. We did not save ourselves for marriage.
I understand all that, but we need to, as a church, speak to the young people in this congregation and say to them, "This is the expectation because God has something so good for you in this." And to make sure that we're not pulling any punches about it, man. The expectation is that your sexual life will be unlocked after the affirmation, after the captivation, after the wedding vows. In the sense of that security and freedom of that environment, that's where it is supposed to be. And outside of that is outside of God's design. Destruction, shame, pain—you know, those are guilt.
Those are things that follow not handling it by God's design. And so, so here's what we're going to do. I'm going to kind of break the sermon about right here. All right, and we got we got to we got to do it again next week.
So we're coming right back. It's really one long sermon over two weeks. All right, but here's how I want to apply this one, and then and then we'll get into some worship, guys. I want us to say this. Handle sex according to God's design, man.
Handle it the way that He has called us to handle it. And I know some of us would say, "But man, it feels like I'm going to be missing out like crazy." If I'm thinking, oh, after the captivation, after the words of affirmation, you know, in the after the commitment to exclusivity, it feels like I'm going to miss out. I want you to understand and go on a bit of a ride with me theologically and realize, with God, He's not wanting us to miss out on a thing. When He calls us away from something, or He calls us to something. It is for our good in the way that you call your children to things, and you call your children away from things.
I want you to think about this with me. You know, sex in marriage is one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given. It is a picture of sanctuary. It is a picture of rest. It is.
This is very deep. It is literally a picture of the Garden of Eden. Where we would be naked and unashamed, that we would be accepted.
Now we've talked about how, and the the gospel is the only thing that truly gives us that freedom to be able to practice that type of radical acceptance with another human. But just think about the act itself, and and what we're getting. It's a sanctuary. It's a rest. It's a it's an echo back to the garden.
Now here is what I am gonna. I want you to see. If we trust God. To take us to the actual second garden, to the actual promised land in heaven, to the actual sanctuary, to the actual rest. If we're trusting him for that, then why wouldn't we trust him for this little picture of it that he gives us on on earth?
Right? We're trusting him with our life. We're trusting him with our future. We're trusting him with all eternity in the new Canaan, in the new promised land. You know, I think about this passage, and I'm thinking about what.
What Abraham was promised. I mean, think about Genesis fifteen. Man, he's sitting there. He's in. He's in what the Bible calls a darkness.
Not even sure exactly what that is. I mean, there's there's a heaviness, and he looks up, and you got these animals that have been split open, sacrificed, and and God is coming through as a fire. And what is he doing? He's covenancing with Abraham. One day, you will be a mighty nation, and one day, that nation will have a promised land.
And they did. Remember that was the Old Testament. And now what's happened?
Now what's happened in the New Covenant is that you and I have been brought in to this promise, and we are looking for a new promised land, a new sanctuary, a new rest. One day, you know, the first promised land it was characterized by what—a land that is flowing with milk and honey. Did you catch verse eleven? What he said about her lips: "Your lips drip nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue." Sexuality in marriage is a little tiny taste of that rest and sanctuary that we will have one day.
But don't get it twisted, all right? It's it's the appetizer. It ain't the main course. The main course is where God is bringing us because of the work of His Son Jesus Christ. And here's what I want to ask you: If you're trusting Him to take you to that actual promised land, then why wouldn't we trust Him to handle the little appetizer?
That we have right now, man. He wants our good. This is for our good. You could say it like this: God has promised us so much more than sex. Then how could we not trust Him with sex?
Jesus went to the cross to make sure that you and I would cross over to the actual land of milk and honey. Your entire life is built on the fact that God has good things for us in store. Why wouldn't we begin to trust Him for that right now?
So here's what I would say. Right number one, if you're not a believer, and you are thinking to yourself today, man, you have absolutely no idea the ways that I've messed this up, the absolute destruction that's been brought into my life, the divorce, all of the people I've been with, all the man, I I could never be seen, I could never be clean before God. What you've got to understand is that Jesus Christ sees all of that. Before the foundation of the world, and yet He is extending His grace to you today. Anyway, He wants you to be His bride.
He wants you. He He would stand and look at you and say, "There is absolutely no flaw in you, not because of what you have done, not because of the good things you're going to try to make up for all the bad, but because He offers you His blood as a cleansing." Would you accept that today? And would you stand before him? I mean, that's just hey, man. We're talking about how how sexuality flows from all of these things.
Have you heard the affirmation and the captivation of our God and the way that He feels about you? And if so, would you come running to Him today? But for those of us that are, man, we're believers. You know, we're we're man, we're We're we're we're you know we're we're growing in our faith, but we have these areas of our life that we know.
Okay, well this is a good opportunity. Remember, I'm breaking the sermon right in half. All right, we'll pick it right back up next week. There's three areas we could talk about. I think it's a good chance for us to test ourselves and just say, Hey, God, what did David do?
God, search me and know me. Tell me if there's a wicked way in me. This is a great opportunity for us to do that and to repent and just to say, very very okay, let's just talk about it in our marriage. Man, if I'm married, am I pledging my captivation? How am I using my words?
And is sex something that is totally exclusive to this relationship? Let's just think about those. That's a good way, good a good place to to kind of land. All right, and we'll pick it back up next week. Let's pray, Father.
We come before you right now. God, we ask that you would move in our congregation, Father. Our our prayer room before this, God, our pastors were asking that the marriages of this church would be strengthened, that there would be repentance, that sin would be confessed, and that we would be stronger as a church and a body because the marriages are gaining strength. And Lord, I pray that you would do that work in us this week in Christ. And we pray, Amen.
