How to Be a Father When You're Fatherless | Sunday Message

Hey there, thanks for listening to the Greg Laurie Podcast, a ministry supported by Harvest Partners. I'm Greg Laurie, encouraging you, if you want to find out more about Harvest Ministries and learn more about how to become a Harvest Partner, just go to harvest.org. All right, message for you dads out there. The title of my message is How to Be a Father When You Are Fatherless. And my text is Ephesians chapter 5.

I want you to turn over there with me right now, and we're going to come to that in just a few moments and talk a little bit about it. Excuse me, Ephesians chapter 6, my mistake.

So again, happy Father's Day. You know, interesting thing about Father's Day. is it is the holiday where people spend the least amount of money. It's way behind Mother's Day. It's behind Valentine's Day.

It's behind Halloween.

So dads, that's why You maybe didn't even get a card today. And maybe you got a pair of socks or something like that. That's an unfortunate thing because the reality is That fathers play such an important role in our culture right now. They really do. Um In fact It's the absence of fathers that is the root of almost all of our societal ills.

I could barrage you all day with. Stats to prove that, but here's just a few. A child born in a fatherless home is 68% more likely to use drugs or alcohol. 85% of all Youths sitting in prison. Are from fatherless homes.

63% of teens who attempt suicide, again, from fatherless homes. Fatherless sons are 300% more likely to become incarcerated. Fatherless daughters who marry have a 92% higher divorce rate. And fatherless sons are 35% more likely to experience marital failure. Fatherless daughters are 111% more likely to have children as teenagers and 164% more likely to have an out-of-wedlock birth.

We desperately need fathers. doing what God has called them to do. I heard this statement and I like it. Quote, fathers are the backup generators of the family. You don't think about them much until something goes wrong.

Isn't that true? I think we take fathers for granted in our culture today. And when I look at what's going on in our nation right now, and the riots, specifically in the college campuses, I'm wondering: were the parents of these children? Were these children even parented? And specifically, where are the dads?

You know, the Bible says a child that is left to himself is a grief to his mother. And by that, the Bible is saying when you don't parent a child, and establish the parameters and the absolutes and the values that they so desperately need. They're going to bring shame to you later in life. I feel like right now we're looking at a generation of unparented children. That desperately need dads in their life.

They've been left to social media. Or their peers, or in some cases on the campuses, liberal professors that fill their heads with Marxist and anti-Christian and anti-Semitic propaganda, and then we see the results. In many ways, fathers are the unsung heroes in our nation today. Billy Graham said, and I quote, a good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society, end quote. And that is very true.

So thank God for every godly father out there. And you know, this isn't just true among humanity. Believe it or not, it's also true in the animal kingdom. I read an interesting account in James Merritt's book about fathering, where he pointed out in Kruger National Park, and that's in South Africa, there were orphaned young elephants who were relocated without older bulls, older bulls or father elephants, if you will, and they began attacking rhinos. They had never seen this before.

The young. Elephants were attacking rhinos and killing them. And they realized after researching this and looking into it that they needed the older elephants brought back in.

So they relocated some older bull elephants, put them in the park, and everything sorted itself out. And one expert actually concluded: even in the animal world, the presence of father figures is essential to civil behavior, discipline, and relational decorum with others. End quote.

Now, there's a new phrase you hear today: trad dad. Heard that trad dad.

Now, that's basically a traditional father. These are like the old school dads, they tell. Lame dad jokes. You know, that's an essential. Right?

They like to grill. They believe in responsibility. They believe in discipline. They provide for their families. They protect their families.

They lead the way for their families spiritually.

Some call this toxic masculinity. I call it godly leadership. And we need more of it. One person put it this way, being a trad dad does not mean you're stuck in the past. It means you're standing firm in the chaos, end quote.

And that's what we need, more men to stand firm in the chaos.

Some of you may have had a trad dad, and then others may have had a passive dad. I'll call him a sad dad. In contrast to a tread dad. They're in the home, but they're not leading it. They're friendly, but they're not firm.

They're agreeable, but they're not godly in direction. Here's a little news flash. Your children don't need another buddy, they need a father, okay? A father. And yes, you're going to say those father cliches.

When I was a boy, Or You know, you need to be responsible. You need to be a good, strong leader. Let me contrast trad dads and sad dads or passive fathers and godly fathers. Passive fathers avoid conflict. Godly fathers, resolve it.

Passive dads go with the flow. Godly fathers lead with conviction. Passive fathers want to be liked. Godly fathers want to be respected. Passive fathers ignore problems.

Godly dads tackle problems head on. Passive dads follow culture. Godly dads... Follow Christ.

Now, in my case, I didn't have a dad at all. You know my story. My mom was married and divorced seven times. And I never had a father growing up. And in fact, the guy that I thought was my father, I found out.

When I was around 35, No, excuse me, yeah, maybe, no, I think I found out when I was around 23 or 24, he was not my father.

So his name was on my birth certificate. And here's how I found out he wasn't my dad. I always had these kind of bad feelings about this guy, even though I lived with him for a very short time before my mom left him. And I didn't know why I had these feelings, because I was such a little kid. But I found out later why am I.

Aunt said, Oh, yeah, we would go over to the house and you'd be in a high chair and you'd be smacking your feet with a ruler because you weren't eating your food. No wonder I didn't like the guy. And why did you let him slap me with a ruler? when I was a baby. Could have used a little help there, but um But I always sense that this man, you know, had no love for me, even though technically he's my biological father because his name's on my birth certificate.

So our son Christopher is born. And I was very young when he was born. I was 22. And I thought, well, he should meet. Here's a picture of what I looked like when Christopher was born.

Imagine that is your father. What what world have I been born into? Says the innocent little baby. But um so I thought that Christopher should meet his biological grandfather.

So I called my mom. I said, hey, where is he living now? Oh, yeah, he lives here and works over here at this place. He had a dry cleaner's.

So I went over there, showed up with my wife, my newborn son. And I said, hi. I don't know if I called him dad. I said, I'm Greg. I'm your son.

This is your grandson. He didn't even come up from behind the counter. He just looked around, oh, okay. No, this is your grandson, yeah. And I walked up, we left and drove away, and I said to Kathy, that man is not my father.

If a man was your father, he would have reacted differently to his biological grandson.

So I asked one of my aunts, so I had this experience. I told her about it, and I said, I don't think he's my dad. She said, How did you know? I said I did until you just said that.

So, you know, that's very disappointing, of course, to find out. And I never had a father figure growing up. I found out in reality I was the result of a one-night stand. My mom had a fling in Long Beach, and she got pregnant and got this other guy to put his name in the birth certificate and so forth.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. What kind of a messed up Father's Day message is this? I came here to be encouraged, maybe some tips on krilling. And you're giving us a sub story.

Well, I hope it will be a hopeful message. Because here's what I really want to say. Even if you've been dealt a hand like this in life, God can step in and change the story. That's my message. Don't think this father only applies to.

Dats. It's really applying to Mentors. Father figures and stepdads. Thank God for stepdads, right? Thank God.

Who, in many cases, step in when the biological father stepped out. And they became, and I'll talk to you about the man I regard as my father, even though he's not my biological father in a few moments. But here's my first point if you're taking notes. Number one, you're not defined by your past. You're not defined by your past.

And you may have a trad dad, a sad dad. Or no, Dad, you're not defined by your past. And I think sometimes people think, well, You know, I'm just going to repeat this behavior. You know, I've heard people talk about generational curses. And they base this on the passage where Scripture says the sins of the parents are visited on the children.

So there's a curse on your family and you're going to just perpetuate that curse and you need to go and get the curse broken. I don't believe in generational curses, but I do believe in repeated behavior. And there's no question that If you come from an alcoholic home, the chances are higher that you could potentially become an alcoholic. If you come from a divorced home, chances are higher that you two could end up getting a divorce. That's true.

That's an undeniable fact. But listen to this. God can break the cycle of sin in your family. Doesn't matter. I already told you my mom has married and divorced seven times.

I've been married over 52 years.

Okay, so.

Well Over 51 years, we're coming on 52.

So, and I don't drink. And that's never been a problem for me.

So, this is something that can happen in your life. Don't use that as an excuse for repeating bad behavior. God can change the story, God can step in. You think of David, who was the son of Jesse. And Jesse had seven other sons.

And the prophet Samuel shows up one day to anoint the next king of Israel. And he said, bring out your sons, Jesse and... Jesse charted them out and they were fine looking, strapping young men. And most notable was one named Elaab that was a little taller than the others. And as a prophet walked down the line and looked at these sons, the Lord said, This is not the one.

This is not the one. This is not the one. So Samuel finally says, Jesse, do you have any more sons? Yeah, I have one other. He's out in the field.

He watches the sheep. His name is David. We'll bring him in. In comes David, bounding with youthful energy. And the Lord showed Samuel, that's the one.

So David was in many ways neglected by his father. In fact, David wrote in one of his Psalms, when my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up.

So here's the thing: God says he will be a father to the fatherless. God can be the Father you never had. And that's very important. You may not have had an earthly father. Or you may not have had a good earthly father, but you do have a father in heaven.

Uh who loves you? The Father in heaven who thinks about you constantly. A Father in heaven that is looking out for your ultimate good. A Father in Heaven who has always been there. I mentioned we were just back in Israel and we went to the garden tomb.

That is believed by many to be the place where Christ actually rose from the dead. And as we were standing there, we reflected once again on the resurrection account in the Gospel of John. where Mary goes to the tomb early in the morning to anoint the dead body of Jesus, and there she meets the risen Lord. She grabs on him so tightly she's probably cutting the circulation off in his ankle. He says, Mary, don't touch me.

A better way to translate that is, don't cling to me, Mary. Effectively say, Mary, a new covenant is going to be established now. And then Jesus says, because I'm going to my God and to your God, I'm going to my Father and to your Father. That was a revolutionary thought for a first century Jew. They would never think of calling God Almighty, the Holy One Father.

But that's what Jesus was saying. You too now can call him Father. How did Jesus instruct us in the Lord's Prayer to address God? He said, after this manner, therefore pray. You know it.

Our Father, say it with me, our Father who art in heaven.

So we have a Father in heaven. Number two. Even if you did not have a father, you can be a good father. Even if you did not have a father, you can be a good father now. When Christopher was born, my first son, I realized that I knew absolutely nothing about fathering.

I had no role model. I had no point of reference. But I did the best I could do. I talked to other dads. I read books on fathering.

I wanted to give him, in many ways, a childhood I never had. I think I spoiled him for sure. I agree with the statement of James Dobson when he said every Parent owes their first child an apology, and I think, you know, there's some truth to that. But I wanted him to have a wonderful childhood. Bringing me to point number three, children are on loan to us.

for a short time. I mentioned Christopher. He went to be with the Lord 16 years ago. And that makes Father's Day a difficult day for me. because I miss my son.

But um It's just a reminder, they're with us a short time, and we think they're always going to be there. But they are there, but we want them to grow up and move out and start their own families. You don't want your kids living with you in their 40s, okay?

So. Our job is to help them mature and become responsible and go live their own lives. But what Psalm 127 says, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb, a reward, and the word heritage means a gift. Our children are not ours to mold, but to unfold.

They belong to God. And our job is to raise them up in the way that they should go.

Sometimes you'll hear parents Saying we haven't had any problems with our kids. Our kids are wonderful and they respect us and they do what we tell them to do. They're the best kids ever, and they're giving advice to other parents.

Okay, how old are your kids? Oh, two and three. Um, shut up? I don't know. Talk to me after you've survived the teen years.

And they're young adults, and then maybe you can talk to us a little bit about parenting. But I think we as parents, especially as fathers, to live in such a way where our child will want to emulate us. Proverbs 30 verse 7 says, A righteous man walks in his integrity. His children are blessed after him. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11, follow my example as I follow the example.

of God.

So we should say, follow my example. Watch the way that I live.

Now, you're going to make mistakes as a father and as a mother. But you tell the children, Follow the way that I live because dads, I don't want to lay too much pressure on you, but you're a living link. to God. In many ways, the early ideas a child will form about God will be based on their relationship with you, their father. I've told you the story before of a little boy that was scared going to bed.

And he yelled out, Daddy, daddy, I'm scared of the dark. And the father said, No, son, God is with you. Don't be worried. No, daddy, daddy, come in here right now. No, son, I don't need to come in there.

You're okay. God is with you. And the little boy said, But right now, I need someone with skin on. A father is God with skin on. I'm not seeing your God.

But I'm saying you're a representative of God.

So live in that way. And that brings us to Ephesians 6, verse 1. Children. Obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you, that you may live long in the earth, and you, fathers.

Do not provoke your children to wrath. But bring them up or train them in the admonition of the Lord. This phrase train is interesting. It can be translated two ways. In each way, gives you an insight into what it means to train a child.

One way means to break a horse. to break a horse.

So that means that you have to have discipline in the home, you have to have rules in the home. You have to have absolutes in the home. And there are rules. You say, this is my house. And these are the rules of the house.

And this is what you need to do as my son or as my daughter. And by the way, one of my rules was: I reserve the right to snoop anywhere I want, anytime I want. Yeah. 100%. I'm going to go through your room.

I'm going to look under the mattress. If you have a diary, I'm reading it.

Well, you shouldn't do that. You're violating the child's rights. Don't give me a break. What I'm doing is I'm protecting the child. I'm looking out for the child.

If I see something that's harmful in their life, I want to keep that child from that thing. I'm being a father. Again, to emphasize, they need a father, not a buddy. That's true of mothers as well. I think mothers are probably better snoops than dads are, okay?

My wife is like Sherlock Holmes. She can figure anything out, little clue, and she'll know: oh, so you went to Taco Bell after church. How did you know?

Well, I was going through the trash, and I found a. A rapper.

Okay. Guilty is charged. It's okay. That's a job. Of a parent.

But another way the word train up can be translated is create a thirst in.

So it's like breaking a horse, absolutes, rules, that's important. But it also means to create a thirst.

So it's not just rules. Because if you have a home that's just rules and just absolutes, that's too far one way, perhaps. But the other is create a thirst den. Have you ever noticed that? If you go out to eat with some people, That If you don't order any food, When their food arrives, it really makes you hungry all of a sudden.

You know, maybe you wait. Hey, we're going to go out after church and we're going to get some to eat. Oh, I already ate, but I'll go with you and just. Drink water.

So you're drinking your water and their hamburger arrives. And they're Fresh. French fries. And you say, could I have just one fry? Sure, have as many as you want.

And you eat that fry, and it's the greatest thing you've ever eaten in your life. Why is stolen food better than food you order? My wife, when she's preparing a meal, will chop everything up a little portion. She's got the carrots here and the celery here and the whatever else there. And I go and I eat it.

Don't eat that. Those are proportion. And she turns away and I eat another one. Because stolen food is better.

Okay, but anyway. When someone's enjoying their meal, it makes you want to have a meal. And I think when you model for your children what it is to walk with Jesus, they too will want to walk with Jesus.

So show them how it's done. Let your children get up in the morning and see mom and dad with their Bibles open starting the day off with scripture. Let the children see you turn to the Lord in times of difficulty and crisis. Let the children see you give regularly of your finances, showing how important it is to be invested in your church and in the work of the kingdom of God. Let your children see you be faithful to your wife and your husband for a lifetime and keep that marriage together and keep it strong.

Set the pace, model it for them, create a thirst in them for God. That's what we're all called to do. In Deuteronomy, we're given directions from Moses. as to how to father. And I love this.

It's so Clear. Deuteronomy 6:5, you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, and your strength. Commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I'm giving you today.

So, first he says, To dads, you know, you need to walk with God. You need to keep these commandments. And then he says, This: repeat these again and again to your children. Talk about them when you're at home, when you're on the road, when you're going to bed, when you're getting up. That brings me into my fourth point.

Start reading the Bible and imprinting your children early. Teach them the word of God from their youth. Did you know that by age five, a child's brain is already 90% developed?

So even before they can fully comprehend what you're telling them, read them stories from the Bible. Start getting those thoughts and those truths imprinted into their little minds. That's why Moses says repeat these things again and again to your children. Don't wait until they're preteens or teenagers. Start early.

That's when you lay the foundation. Aristotle said, and he said this to me personally. Aristotle said, quote, give me a child until he is seven, and I will show you the man, end quote.

So start early. Talk about the Lord in the car. Talk about the Lord at bedtime. Talk about the Lord at breakfast. As you know, most children begin to question their faith between the ages of 11 and 14.

Discuss those things with your kids. Help them understand why you believe what you believe before the storm hits. And the storm will hit in every person's life, or they have to make these choose their own. A word about devotions. You know, I think the problem in some homes is we make devotions very difficult.

First of all, if you have a devotion with your child, they shouldn't go for three hours.

Okay, kids, let's begin our study in the book of Leviticus. I always felt like a devotion should be short and sweet. And the greatest compliment my boys could pay me is, tell me another Bible story, Dad. You know, another one, another one. And I always involved them.

I didn't just preach to them. I didn't have a little pulpit and preach a sermon. I'd engage them, I'd ask them questions. Get them involved in the Bible story. That's a very important thing.

And don't be overly legalistic. I've said a little bit about rules and having absolutes, and that is important. But in some Christian homes, they're overly legalistic. Too many rules, too many boundaries, boundaries that aren't necessary.

Now I heard my son Jonathan say this from this pulpit not too long ago. I wasn't quite sure how to react that way. Was that good what I did? Here's what he said. You may remember.

He said, you know, my... My friends came from Christian homes. And they couldn't listen to secular music, and they couldn't watch cartoons on television. All they could watch was Veggie Tales. And he says, However, in our home, it was different.

My dad would drive me to school and we'd listen to The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix, and then my dad would sit down and watch The Simpsons with me. And I'm thinking, oh boy, is that good? Was that good? What have I done to warp this child? But let me explain what I was trying to do.

And I'm not advocating for either any of those things. But I'm simply saying this: I was trying to enter his world. And I didn't like veggie tales and I still don't, so we'll just say that. But but I would watch a cartoon with him And then I would explain, now we don't agree with that, and here's why. Or that was kind of funny, or that wasn't good at all, right?

So I would kind of work through those things with them. I'd play video games with them. I'd skateboard with them when I still could skateboard. I did things with them. I took them with me everywhere, and I tried to integrate my faith into their lives as well.

And that is something we all should seek to do, because we want to be a reflection of our Father in heaven. Jesus said in Matthew chapter 7, Uh You parents. If your children ask you for a loaf of bread, would you give them a stone instead? If they ask you for a fish, would you give them a snake? Of course not.

So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give good gifts to those who ask him?

So that's what we're doing. We're giving good gifts to our children. And the ultimate model of a father is. in what we call the story of the prodigal son or the parable of the prodigal son.

Now the Bible never calls it that. You could just as easily call it the parable of the loving Father. And I think in many ways it's more about the loving father than it is about the prodigal son. Jesus tells the story to show us what God is like, and it begins as follows. A father had two sons.

And one of the sons said, Father, I'm no longer, I don't want to live under your rules and regulations. Give me my portion of the inheritance. And you know the rest of the story. But after that boy, Went astray. and drug their family name through the mud and made a mess of his life.

The Bible says he came to his senses and said, I'll return home to my father and say, Father, I've sinned and am no longer worthy to be called your son. But Jesus says, while he was still a great ways off, the father saw him and ran toward him. and threw his arms around him, and said, Welcome home, son. My son who is dead is alive again. He who is lost is found.

It's a picture of God, a loving Father who never stops loving us. And I think it's so important for our kids to know. Then we love them.

So I wrote a little book that's called Life Hacks, Things I Would Tell My Younger Self. That's a picture of a young me. And uh And so I was recording some videos through social media. and my granddaughter Stella, Christopher's daughter, was in my office. And I was reading chapter titles to her, and I said, Stella, which one of these should I talk about?

And one of the chapters was, Put God First in Your Life. Another chapter says, It's going to be okay. Then another chapter title is, Tell the ones you love that you love them. She said talk about that one, Papa. That's what I did.

And I think that's an important thing. Tell your children you love them.

Well, they know, maybe they do. But it's not a bad thing to reassure them that you love them. Even the Father said of Jesus when he was baptized, this is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased. Tell them. Number five, godly fathers don't need to be biological.

Godly fathers don't need to be biological.

So I never knew my Biological father. But among the men my mother married, she made one good choice. A man named Oscar Laurie, an attorney from New Jersey. He didn't hang out in bars, he didn't drink, he didn't smoke. I don't know what my mother saw in him.

He was an academic, he was a moral man, he was a hardworking man, and he not only became my father, but he adopted me and gave me his name. And so he was my dad, and I still think of him as my dad today. But One day getting out of school. The car was loaded up with all of our luggage and We're living in New Jersey at the time, and I said to my mom, What's going on? She says, We're leaving.

I said, Where are we going? She said to Hawaii, Well, I'd never been to Hawaii. I was very excited. Oh, great. Where's dad?

He's not coming. I didn't see him for the rest of my childhood. We land in Waikiki Beach, this is the 60s, and here now is standing before me a man I've never seen before, and my mother says, This is your new dad.

Something snapped in my little brain. I don't remember exactly how old I was, maybe 11. Maybe 10. And I just thought, I'm done with this. And he was the worst guy she ever married.

He was an alcoholic. They would get in fights every night, hitting. each other breaking things. Kind of a terrifying environment for a kid. And one night I heard a loud Noise and a thud, and I came out to the front room, and my mother was lying in a pool of blood on the floor.

and he was standing over her with a wooden statue that he had hit her with. And he said, go to bed. She's fine. It's just ketchup. I remember that.

So I ran into my bedroom, slipped out the window, ran to a neighbor, and the police were called, and we left him, and that was the end of him. And so we moved back to California.

So now fast forward. I hear the gospel at age 17. I come to Christ and I start thinking about Oscar Lorry. Is he alive still? I would love to see him again.

So it turns out I was going to be speaking in New York at Central Park, and I thought maybe he lives in New Jersey.

So there was a girl that went to our church and worked for the Bar Association because he was an attorney. This is before Google. And so I said, see if there's an Oscar Laurie that you can find. She found him quickly, and he was practicing law in Red Bank, New Jersey.

So I called his law office. And the secretary answered, And I said, hello, is Oscar Laurie there? She said, no, he's out to lunch right now. Can I ask who's calling? I said, yes, it's Greg Laurie.

She said, how do you spell your last name? I said the same way he spells his, this is his son. And so I get a call about a half hour later, and my dad says, Greg, it's so good to hear your voice. I said, Hey, I'm going to be. Speaking in Central Park.

It's a long story. I'm a preacher now, but I'd love to come see you for lunch. He says, oh, no, come to our home for the weekend. I want you to meet my new wife, Barbara, and my two sons. He had adopted two other boys as well.

So I reluctantly agreed. I didn't want to impose, but we arrived there in New Jersey and spent that night catching up on our lives and the course they had taken. And he said, I tried to get custody of you, Greg, when I heard about what was happening with your mother. And but I wasn't able to. And I said, Well, you know, it all worked out because those experiences I had brought me to put my faith in Christ.

And so one night we're sitting at the table.

Sorry to drag you through all these stories, but I have a point at the end.

So we're sitting at the table and Barbara, his wife, a wonderful lady, made an incredible Italian meal. My wife was there and my son, Christopher, was there. And so Barbara says, Greg, tell us how you became a Christian and then you became a preacher. I'm so interested to know.

So I began to tell my story, and my dad's sitting opposite me at the end of the table, and he just had his hands up to his face, kind of like this. And he didn't react. And I thought, I felt like I was in a court of law and he was the judge. And I wasn't doing that well. He didn't react at all.

Then after it was done, Uh We got ready to go to bed and my dad said to me, Greg, I need to walk. One thing I forgot to tell you is he had a heart attack and blacked up behind a steering wheel and drove into a telephone pole and almost died.

So now he's on medication because of his heart problems. He needs to walk every morning.

So he says, Would you walk with me tomorrow morning? I said, Okay. And so he knocks on my door at 6 o'clock in the morning, New Jersey time. 3 o'clock California time. I come stumbling out of my bed and we start walking in the park, and there's that brisk East Coast air, and I'm still waking up.

He says, Greg, I listened very carefully to what you said last night. And I said, Okay, good. He says, And I would like to accept Jesus Christ into my life right now.

So I said, well, you know, let me go over it one more time. I want to make sure you understand. I went over to Gene goes, I understand. What do I need to do? I said, well, dad, you pray.

That you do it through prayer, and he drops to his knees. We're in a park, he drops to his knees. Uh Well, I wasn't going to get on my knees, but since he was on his, I got down on my knees and we prayed. And he prayed to ask Christ to come into his life. And then he said, pray for my heart.

Pray, God heals my heart.

Okay, and I prayed that God would heal his heart. And the amazing thing is, he walked with the Lord for 15 years after that, and God even healed his heart on top of it. But then there were the other men my mother married. I had a full-time ministry evangelizing my mother's ex-husbands.

So that guy that almost killed her I'll call a meddy. Um I heard when I was over in Hawaii preaching Hey, uh your dad I well he's not my dad.

Well anyway. He's really sick and he may not live much longer. You ought to go visit him. I don't want to go visit him. God almost killed my mom.

Why would I go visit him? And I felt prompted by the Lord to Go see him. I didn't want to. And I sat there in that house, the little apartment he was living in, all those old feelings of anger kind of welled up inside of me. But I just said, I want to tell you what happened to me, what Jesus Christ did for me.

And I'm preaching across the street, literally in the Waikiki shell. Would you like to come over and hear me? He says, no. No, you're coming, I don't, and that so I'd like to say that went well, it didn't go well.

So he wanted nothing to do with it. But then there's one more dad. This was the last man my mother was married to. And uh He Was dying, and someone told me he's in hospice care in his home. You should go see him.

And I said, Ah, you know, I'm going to preach somewhere. I'm always going to preach somewhere, aren't I? It seems like in all these stories. I have to catch a plane. I'm on my way to the airport.

Well, you should go see him. He may not live much longer. I said, Well, I'll see him when I get back. I'll call him when I get back. And I'm driving to the airport, and God spoke to me as clear as day and said, You go see him right now.

So I went to visit him and it was clear he was not far. from death. And I said, I want to give you the gospel one more time. And I did. I said, would you like to pray and accept Christ?

He said, I would. And I prayed with him. And I was so glad I went, and I got on my plane and I landed. And right when I landed, I pulled out my phone and got a text. He just died.

So here's why I'm telling you all these stories. Even if you came from a fatherless home, you can be a good father. Even if your life is messed up. Even if your life is messed up, God. Can bring good despite the bad.

And that's the takeaway truth. A final point.

Well, almost final, but very close. Even if we didn't have a father, we can be a father figure. There were a lot of godly men that I looked up to as a new Christian. that were father figures for me. Chuck Smith was one.

Not just as a preacher, but just as a man. And I was able to see what a man of God looked like. And you know, maybe you're not the father to someone, but maybe they didn't have a dad. And they're looking up to you. My son Christopher had a little buddy named Hank that used to come over all the time, and Hank came from a broken home.

So Hank would hang out with us and go everywhere with us. And then years later, I talked to Hank as a young adult, now a father. He said, You know, you were like a dad to me. I go, What do you mean, Hank? He goes, Well, I would just go with you everywhere with your family.

I saw how you treated your sons, and I saw what a father looked like. And you can be that for somebody. You know, even if you're not their biological father, you can be that father figure, that mentor, that example for them. And that's so very important. One final point: this is the last point: we need to leave a godly legacy.

So, maybe I'm talking to some dads today who have mixed emotions about this. occasion called Father's Day. Because you've not done the best job possible. There's always a second chance. There's always tomorrow.

You can start again. Start afresh. But I would just say you want to leave a godly legacy, and that starts by taking your children to church. There is a trend in the church today to go less frequently. A lot of people who used to go to church maybe three times a month now go twice a month or maybe once a month.

And we see this more and more. And here's what I would say to you. I'm not trying to be legalistic. Maybe I am. Whatever you want to call it.

You need to be in church every single Sunday and set the example. Sunday is the Lord's Day.

Well, Dad, there's a great swell, or let's go to an amusement park. No, yeah, maybe we'll do that later in the afternoon, but we're going to go to church together. Listen to this. A study revealed that if mom and dad attend church regularly, 72% of their children will remain faithful in attendance. It's pretty good.

If you go to church regularly, 72% of your children will do the same.

However, if only dad attends church regularly, 55% will remain faithful. If only mom attends regularly, only 15% remain faithful.

Sorry, moms. Thank God for you. We'd be in big trouble if the moms were not holding the fort down and trying to step in when the fathers step out.

So thank you, ladies, for all that you do. But if neither attend, only 6% will remain faithful. See, that's the power of example. And it also shows the influence of a father.

So you need to model that for your children and leave a godly legacy. Maybe, as you've heard this talk about fathers, you would say, Well, I never heard my dad say. He loved me.

Well, look, I want to tell you something. He probably loves you more than you may realize. And then again, he may just be a creep and he doesn't love you. I don't know. But I think mostly even the ones that fell short.

Loved us, but they failed, and they would probably admit that. But I want you to know this: regardless of what your earthly Father did or did not do, your Heavenly Father always has and always will love you. You may be fatherless, but you have a father in heaven who loves you unconditionally, and he's told you he loves you. He says, I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore, with loving kindness, I've drawn you.

And I love 1 John. Behold, what manner of love the Father has given to us that we should be called the sons of God. And guess what? This Father in heaven wants to adopt you. into his family, just as I was adopted.

You can be adopted into God's family by believing in Jesus Christ. Let's pray.

Now, Father, thank you for this time in your word. And I pray you'll help us all draw close to you. As Jesus said to Mary, I must depart and go to my God and your God, to my Father and your Father. We have a Father in heaven, and for this we are thankful.

So, Lord, we commit ourselves to you now. And we ask you to bless us. As we go our way, bless again the fathers that are here. And for those that come from troubled homes, from fatherless homes, or homes with fathers that didn't do what they should have done, help them to take comfort and courage and strength in knowing that. They have a Father in heaven.

Our Father who art in heaven. While our heads are bowed and our eyes are closed, there may be someone who has joined us today. who has never known God in this personal way. If you would like God to be your Father, If you would like Jesus Christ to forgive you of your sin, Just pray this prayer after me, Lord Jesus. I know I'm a sinner.

But I know that you are the Savior. who died on the cross for my sin. and rose again from the dead. I receive you into my life now. and I choose to follow you.

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Hey everybody, thanks for listening to this podcast. To learn more about Harvest Ministries, follow this show and consider supporting it. Just go to harvest.org.

And to find out how to know God personally, go to harvest.org and click on Know God. Yeah.