This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast.
So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here now. Welcome to Masculine Journey. We are very glad you're with us today, and we are talking about a topic that's near and dear to our heart. And Andy, I really appreciate you bringing this topic to us because it made me think about some things.
That I haven't really, I've known, but I haven't really specifically thought about. And so, why don't you talk about what that topic is? Sure. Morgan from the Wild Art team talks about living in the day and measuring in the decade. I'd come to the ministry about uh ten years ago.
Okay. and really started applying wild at heart. masculine journey. You know. Ideas, whatever, into my heart, allowing God to work through me through those truths that you learn, that are obvious, that are in the Bible, but that we don't always extract out.
And they did a good job of putting it together and making it make sense and in doing so I began to look at the fruit of what had happened in my family. The impact on me first, but then the impact that it's had on my family. And it's like... My family, God is moving in a lot of different ways. This is just one way.
But I just wanted, it just made me think. I mean, I just went got back, and I'll talk about it more, but I just got back from the celebration of life from my older brother, Jim. And he was six years older than me, but we grew up together and we had stayed in pretty good contact with each other, but didn't always see things eye to eye. And I'll get into that a little bit more, but... God did some cool things there through You know, wild heart, that message.
We call it a message, but it's the gospel. But it's a way that's put in a way that makes sense to our masculine heart, and it just. really helped me work some thing w work things out of myself. Because I had taken the gospel and tried to apply it to our relationship before and really messed some things up. wasn't handling things well and when you're fathered well then you can repeat what your father did and that's kind of what I did.
So Um this clip I have Is from, I'd assume you're ready to go with that. Sure. Yeah, so. It's more on that. It's a couple brothers.
It's from the river runs through it. You got Paul and Norman. Paul's kind of a free spirit. Norman's. A bit more conservative, probably more like I would be in the story.
And it really, you know, this doesn't look like my story, but it's really two brothers that. The Father is trying to father them both, and they both have their desires and stuff. And not to get into their story a lot, but you see at the end, you hear the Father's heart, and I think it's our Father, the Father's heart towards us. in a way that sometimes we don't receive Um love or direction or Maybe a way of putting things or whatever to where somebody can receive them. But we're supposed to just unconditionally love them.
And so play the clip and we can talk about it more. As time passed, my father struggled for more to hold on to. asking me again and again, had I told him everything. And finally I said to him, Maybe all I really know about Paul. is that he was a fine fisherman.
You know more than that, my father said. He was beautiful. Yeah. And that was the last time we ever spoke of my brother's death. Indirectly, though, Paul was always present in my father's thoughts.
I remember the last sermon I heard him give, not long before his own death. Each one of us here today.
Well and one time in our lives look upon A loved one who is in need and asks the same question. We are willing to help, Lord, but what? if anything is needed. For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give, or more often than not, the part we have to give, Is not what?
And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them. We can love completely. without complete understanding. Yeah.
So years ago me and my brother weren't and I had eye on some things and I felt like it would just kept becoming us um just contention there and I felt like God said just love him. That was my part to do. And that's kind of what that's talking about. And I did for years. And uh God d blessed it and we got closer.
I was able to speak into his life. He was able to speak into my life a bit more. Um but about three years ago, I think it was right before he recently got cancer, Um I was at home, and there was something that happened that just got it was really bothering me. And he said, Well, I want you to send him wild at heart and write him a letter. and just tell them about your experience and what the book meant to you and Um I did, and about a week later my brother called me up bawling.
And basically this You know, to me, repentance is not confession. Repentance is a change of heart and a change of mind. And what he stated to me was repentance. And I began to realize it was just. My brother just wanted to be loved and he was going he was Looking for validation of the father that we talk about so much.
I told I mentioned it in the letter, he was like. I'd never heard that word. He was like, I thought it was about a parking ticket. You know?
So he it's just one of these is terms that we don't even know that's very important in our life that we're we're looking for validation from the Father. And he told me about ways he had went after looking for that validation and, you know, some pretty damaging ways. But, you know, it it it made me realize we're all the same We have different wound things that Darren mentioned. We're all hurting. But it gave me so much more grace.
We had a conversation after the bat about some other people and the way they were living. Like, well, we need to be open to them and what they've wounded. I mean, ding, ding, ding. This is what we're talking about here, is understanding that we're all wounded. Um and that you know god comes into that and he's the one that can can actually Heal it.
But that you just have so much more humility and grace for somebody else. And my br my I was wounded. I've talked about my wounds many times here. His wounds were much deeper. His mom was horrible.
to be honest with you. His mom was horrible. My mom was great. There was things that and I don't even think he saw that part of it, you know. But I begin, and that gives you grace for other people.
You know, it talks about, you know, you talk about walking in somebody else's shoes. You walk in somebody else's wounds, you may have a lot more appreciation for what they're going through. But what was really neat. is at the celebration of life. I spoke and just talked about the impact Of God on our family and what He's done.
I've got a younger brother that we went and found that we hadn't seen for years, for years, that my brother and I both really wanted to go find him, and we did. And it was like a Joseph moment where he met his brothers. And then, um Uh Just I've got a niece that's come back to the Lord, but Talking about going back to the book, I've got a cousin that's a pastor. And he's been talking to Jim and stuff during this time of cancer and stuff. And, and, um, You know, he told me, he said, whenever I gave him my brother that book, he calls him my cousin.
Says you got to read this book. And I want he was like, he said it was like he was expected to give a book report when he got done. It was they made that kind of an impact on him. And You know, I knew that he had given it to some people, but I didn't know that part of the story until my cousin shared that in that celebration of life. And that was, you know, that was like.
I had even suggested this as a topic even before I knew all that. And that was just like confirmation that, you know, that's what God wants us to do. It is to share how he wants to come after men and to give them their core desires or let them know that they have core desires. He gave them the heart they have, that they have been wounded, but that he wants to recover their heart and heal them. And he wants us to give them a calling to fulfill and how to love a beauty.
All the stuff that we talk about here, it's possible. And if you don't know, you don't know. And sharing this is what this message is about. That's because we're brothers. Through Christ.
Yeah, we are. We are. Yeah, Andy, you articulated that well. You know, been in church since I was Preteen. You know, I've heard some really good sermons.
One that led me to the Lord. Right. Right? You know, I mean, there's been some good impact. But for me, what Wild at Heart did is it put.
Things that I saw as important stories, but put them in context together to where I could, okay, now I can understand how this lays out.
Now I can understand my woundedness and how I get angry. I could read how David wrote, My heart is wounded within me, and I could relate to some degree, but not until after I had more of the story about posing and all those things that kind of unfold. And that's why it really spoke to my heart because now all of a sudden those things made sense in my life. It's a map to your heart. Yeah.
I mean, it just gives you direction on, okay, you got all these vast. this vastness in your heart, and a lot of it's brokenness. But God wants to take that rope brokenness and heal it. And then that healing becomes healing to others. And I don't know, I don't want to get too analytical in it, but it's just.
It's a picture of what God does with men that He's able to recover. And we're also talking not only this. Where it impacts family is you have an understanding Of the hurts that people have had and to be more patient with them. But also, that whole idea of whenever you're recovered and you're restored, you bring your strength to your family. You don't bring your questions.
You bring the essence of who you are, which, if we are his sons, should be a healing presence. And that's what I think it is. Mm-hmm. No, it is for sure. Thank you for that.
I thank you for the topic, as I said earlier. I think about for my story, and I'll get into a clip here in a minute, but one of the ones. that Harold kinda touched on is, you know, my dad died in nineteen eighty four. You know, I read Wild at Heart 2001, you know, when it came out, 2002, right in there. And Went to my first boot camp.
you know, at that point. But uh My dad had been long gone. You know, and I just chalk so much of my dad's life. You know, dad had had a stroke when I was 12, he didn't really talk.
So there's many years that dad was in my life, nine more years that we just didn't have communication. He could y say yes, no, a few cuss words. That you know, that's what his brain would process. I mean, he knew more than that, he just couldn't articulate it. And so we really didn't have relationship.
All right. Really laid in my heart to forgive my dad on stuff and walk me through how to do that with him not being here. And a lot of that was learning his story. You know, and having a sister that told me about him and mom that told me about things and gave me the questions to ask. You know, and them being very authentic.
let me see his shoes to walk in. And realize, wow, you know, kind of like the Everybody Loves Raymond moment that we talk about, that, you know, when I look at it, I didn't think I had a good, but dad had a lot worse. You know, and so he can reconcile and heal wounds for people that's no longer around. Right, and it does change how you see them. When I think of my dad now, I don't think about those things.
I think of the positive things about him. Absolutely. Right, because God's dealt with those. Right? And so that was one, just he can do that regardless.
Of whether they're here on Earth or not, because he's beyond time. He's outside of time. The clip that I chose may not seem to make sense, but hopefully it will. It's from Kingdom of Heaven. We use it at boot camp from time to time.
But what you have here is Balian, is that his name? He's been raised without a father. All of a sudden, this guy comes into his life and says, I'm your father. You know, and then Invites him to go on a journey. Baleen says, No, I don't want to go.
And then something happens which causes him to go find his father. When he finds his father, he sleeps overnight on the ground with the men camping out, and his father wakes him up with this. And so we're going to listen to it, and we're going to talk about why I chose it. Pick it up. Let's see what you're made of.
His hand is hurt, my lord. I once fought two days with an arrow through my testicle. Mm. Yeah. Mm.
Never use a low guard. You fight well. Let's work on your skills. Take a high guard. Like this.
The Italians call it La Posta di Falcone. The guard of the hook. Strike from high. This Yeah. Do it.
So we'll straight. Come on. Leg back, bend your knees. Sword straighter. Defend yourself.
Yeah. A blade isn't the only part of a sword. Attack. Hmm. Mm-hmm.
What's this? You have with you a man, Balian, who killed a priest. I'm charged by the Lord Bishop to bring him back. Uh What he says is true. They have the right to take me.
I say he's innocent of the charts. If you say it's guilty and build fights. And Cartwright decides the truth of him. My German friend is a close student of the law. Just give him to me, I'll fight you for something else.
He's a murderer.
So am I. Whoever dies here today. You will certainly be among them. The the clip for me I'll talk about here in a second, but as I was listening to it, I thought, you know, I once fought with a hangnail. Not quite the same comparison.
Argued for two days with a Really bad hagna. Anyway, then you had the Arnold Schwarzenegger impression right in the middle of that.
So, you know, it's like. I've heard the, you know, whatever. Anyway, going back to why I chose this. It took me uh lot of long time to my forties. to really understand Um A lot of what God's been doing in my life, and to understand God as Father, and to understand my woundedness, and all the things we've been talking about.
And from my 40s to into my fifties and into my 60s, it's gotten more and more and more, and it's taken a couple decades for God to really reach me. Uh the way it's impacted my family in lots of ways, but one of them is with my sons. Uh they had to come to boot camp. before I was really ready for him to come because we didn't have any other place for him to be. My wife had to work, there was no one to watch them.
They came to boot camp. I'm like, well, God, it's not time for them to come yet. God knew better. Right, and so they came to many, many different boot camps, and you always wonder, okay, is it sinking in? You know, and and now that they're both adults, to have them reach out and say, hey, when's the next boot camp?
I really need to come. I really need to get that time alone with God. To have them really tell their friends about: hey, this is something you need to go to. That they're reaching out to other men saying, hey, I know your heart needs this. Let's me know where they've been with it.
And that's what leads me to the clip that, you know, they grew up Hearing about God as Father. They didn't have to be balanced. They didn't have to wonder, is God fighting for my heart? They just always have been doing that since they were little. and how big of an advantage that gives for them, but not just them, hopefully the next generations.
You know, they'll be able to pass that on, and hopefully, through the healing God's done in my life, He'll choose. You know, he'll help heal generations down the road because of things that. I stepped out and said, okay, it's not about me. Don't hear that. It's about what God's done, but we have to agree to it.
Right, and and I look at the ripple effects and how big they are. And it's not just with my sons. I would say, you know, part of it, I'm getting married in a couple weeks. And it's been 10 years that I've been single because God had to work on a lot of brokenness and hurt and agreements and all the things we talk about. But I really think that I'm in a much better place than I've ever been because I understand me.
I know a lot more about him. And he's teaching me how to love her better. than I've ever done because I wasn't great at that. Right, and so I'm really looking forward to what God has in store, but the ripple effects that come out of Him working in our lives are huge. And I think we don't really get time to see it.
But when we get time to see it, you can see his glory really shining. All throughout. That's what I got. That's what you got? That's what I got.
You know, one of the things that we've talked about a little bit is that. You know, this message, and we talked about, you know, it's not the gospel, but it gives. The masculine heart context. You know, I'm a guy who grew up in church. And you know, John talks about it in one of his books.
John the Elders talks about it in one of his books. That you know, sometimes church culture comes across as: you know, if you're here every Sunday and you get perfect attendance in Sunday school and you don't sin, you're You're a good Christian now.
Well, that ain't very life-giving for the most part. Those are good things. Those are good qualities to have, no doubt about that. But there's more to it, you know, because you know. It doesn't say David got perfect attendance at synagogue.
It says he killed Goliath. There's some adventure and some warrior there. And those are the contexts that are of things that, to be honest, we struggle with because we don't know what file to put that in when we become Christians. I did not. You know, I came to Christ at an early age.
And you know, my context was perfect Sunday school And if I didn't achieve that, I felt less than. Yeah. If I got sick and couldn't go to Sunday school, And you know, people, you know, there were there were men in the church who had, you know, those Sunday school pens that went down to their kneecaps. You know, just they they they've been there and never missed a day in a hundred years. I'm like, How do you do that?
You know, you come here when you got the bubonic plague, I guess. You know, sit him over there in the in the front 'cause of the Baptist church. Nobody sat in the front. Yeah, no, that's safe up there. But, you know, those are the things that that, you know, this this message gave me context.
And all of a sudden it was okay to want some adventure. and to learn that, you know what, God wants you to have adventure. Not only that, He wants to go with you. And You know, it's been some amazing stuff that had happened over the past several years that just when I realized God's okay with this. Because he said those things A fire in my heart.
You and under his protection and his guidance, Those things bring life. you know, rescuing the beauty that holds nine yards because If there's a man listening who says he ain't never had trouble with the beauty, You know, he's posing and he's liar. Yeah, or he's clueless. Yeah, or yeah, he just hadn't woke up yet. You know, those kind of things.
Anyway. It gives a masculine heart context. I've never had a problem with ladies, they just had problems with me. Yeah, I was the problem. Yeah, yeah, we have that.
Too many mirrors. Too many mirrors. Now, guys that are married, I have a question for you. How often has your bride said to you, you really need to go. To a boot camp.
You really need to go to the radio show. You really need. I know what your heart needs because I see when you get wound down. Right, and you need a refreshment. Have you guys ever heard that?
Oh yeah. Yeah. In fact, she's responsible for me being here. Yeah. Yes, for sure.
And, um, That's the beauty of also being In Seeing the gospel through this light. and sharing it with your mate. Um Um I I don't think Sheila and I would still be married. honestly, if she and I weren't both walking in this together as as partners and And she's, you know, she's a pretty... She's not adverse to risk.
To the point where when we got married, I was like. I'm a risk-taker. I'm altruistic. She's a little bit of a risk-taker. She's altruistic.
We're going to be poor and dead, probably, you know, before all this is over and done with. But It E Yes. Uh she sees my heart oftentimes better than I do, and obviously she has done a lot in this ministry as well. And And there are times when she'll you know, say, Yeah, you need a P You need to go do that. Um which is different than the first time I heard that from my wife, like when I was you know 25 and she said, you just need to get out of here.
and I left for like three days and just went to New Mexico or something. But yeah, totally different scenario. To hear it from somebody who loves you And it doesn't even have to be a wife. I mean, that's. That's what we get as a band of brothers, right?
I mean, we get to look into each other's eyes and hearts often and say, I see your heart. I know what's going on there, and I know your glory. I know what God calls you. And You know, no, that's not it, so stop acting like that. Yes.
This is it, and embrace it, you know, and then walk with each other and give each other courage to continue to do that.
Well, to that question, I'm currently not with wife, but. My wife, who I'm still married to and friends with, you know, I wouldn't say that she would say. that per se, but I know the nature of our conversations And that you know, that we I know that she notices there's a difference. And I definitely know that with my daughter, too. And they're not necessarily putting orders in for me to go to boot camp.
But they know that that's a part of my life and there's been a change there. There's that my life has been impacted. And um You know, I think sometimes maybe w women would look at it like, Really? You need to go to a retreat to get your heart back or whatever. Sadly, in this culture that we have, a lot of this stuff would have to.
happen naturally through fatherhood and that kind of thing, you know, in the ideal situation. But in the in the culture that we live in, It's something that we were not brought up in, and we weren't initiated. We needed some context and shoot You take advantage of what you have, the tools at your disposal. And I think that's what we've done. And you know, Morgan just always gets back to John will ask him a question.
I've remember asking him, Yeah. Is that really what you believe about this whole sonship stuff? And all? And he was like, Well, John, all I can say is I just look at the fruit of it. You know, I see the evidence in my life.
Yeah, I didn't mention my daughters, but God's really helped me. Look at how do I love them individually. You know, different because there's no just like one way to do it with any relationship. You know, Jesus healed people differently every time, right? He didn't heal the blind the same way twice.
Yep. And thank goodness we're not all clones, too. Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, so he uniquely knows how to reach their hearts. And he's helped me in those relationships.
And it's really kind of fun for me. I get back from boot camp, and one of my daughters and a daughter-in-law, they really want to know, hey, how'd it go? What was it about? They want to hear the stories even though they haven't been there. Wow.
You know, and that's that's good. That lets me know that they see a change in me, which is all God. It's not me. A change in me, and they want to know about it because they get hungry. Right, and I think that's really good.
Uh, go to masconjourney.org. We do have a boot camp coming up November 19th through the 22nd in Royston, Georgia. It is an advanced boot camp. And so you wanna, if you haven't been to a boot camp, It's hard for you to understand the advanced camp, and that's what we don't like to make a rule that you can't come. But the best thing for your heart would be to find a boot camp and go to that, whether it's ours or another one.
If you haven't been to a camp and you really feel like you should come to this camp, reach out to us, any one of us. We will get with you and see if there's a way we can figure out how you can get there. That's just our first name at masculinejourney.org.
