Creating a Relational Legacy, Part 1

Because I need to talk about creating a relational legacy when you leave, what are you going to leave in the minds of people as they think about the relationship they had with you want people to think about you as a result of the relationships that you built while here on earth you were created for relationships with God and with others.

Low and thanks for stopping by for this Monday edition of Destin for victory with pastor Paul Sheppard today and for the next few days.

Pastor Paul invites his wife Meredith to join him to talk about the importance of building healthy relationships and of leaving behind a legacy of healthy relationships after you're gone.

It's all part of his continuing teaching series keeping the end in mind that comes your way. Next, stay right here or visit Pastor Paul.net to listen anytime on demand. That's Pastor Paul.net you can also subscribe to the podcast Apple podcasts. It's modified or whatever you enjoy yours.

Not with today's Destin for victory message reading a relational legacy. There's Pastor Paul and his wife Mary was still talking about keeping the end in mind. And so we want to make sure that we're doing now and relationships what God wants us to do so that when that day comes that we meet him in judgment. We are prepared to give an account for how we interacted with other people. You get it. So definitely doing not a sermon today.

It's a fireside chat all right, all right now, so my life is going jump and we would stop structured and simply not structured.

I think I get the folks things are put on the screen because when you live you have a screening so we just gonna we just can't talk and I pray that it will let you this party a legacy that was very important.

The first thing I want to set it up with God's will is always that we involve impact and influence other people.

In other words, something about the will of God. And just think about yourself. The only way you can do the will of God is to involve impact and influence other people you get it. Will God always impacts other people. God's will is not for you to just be healthy, wonderful, sexy, wise.

The end – not God's will, healthy, wealthy, sexy wise, that's fine. But that is not God's will, God's will is always going to cause you to impact other people.

If you are a hermit, you're out of God's will.

Got you got impact people's let's talk about relationship. So here's the first thing I want to do set it up in my life and how to share back and forth first thing I'm going to ask you to do is think about.

And if you're taking notes, write down the names of you might do it all now, but think about and write down the names of key people in the following five categories in your life. Five categories think about the key family members in your life will have extended family.

You don't interact with most of your extended family.

But there are some family members that are kinda key. You interact with them regularly. Think about who they are and get them in your mind, your key family relationships. Second, I want you to think about your key friendships or acquaintances I say or claim Cisco. Some of us and probably what we gotta talk about with some of you is some of us don't have friends. We have acquaintances and God probably going to be pushing you through what will be saying this week and next week to build friendships, acquaintances are dime a dozen. They can be good but there quenches their surface level friends.

The Bible tells you what friends are Bible says things like Proverbs 1717 (loves women at all times, and a brother is born for adversity, so you'll need whether people only in your social life. If all you have a fair weather friends. Then I friends there. Fair weather acquaintances. Kebabs is a friend loves at all times. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, a friend can cut shift because they love you somebody. Although let people cut too soon is they hurt you. You throw them away will get to that. So that's about the key family members talk about your key friends or acquaintances number three I want you to think about and jot down your key mentors or advisors. The people who speak into your life to call you up to help you become what God wants you to be mentors.

Advisors are people who look up to for advice.

For counsel, and if you don't have them, you'll need to develop them number for your key associates or teammates. The people who help you do what you do. Whether it's ministry, whether it's on your job, whatever you do, your activities for the people who help you get things done that you need to do in your life. I want to get those people in mind your associates or teammates. People who help you get where you're going. In the last category is your key mentees or apprentices or the people who are looking up to you for counsel for advice for help.

Who are the key mentees, apprentices, people who really pull on what you have in your case over to talk through just begin talking through in this session and will carry over into the next message or time together in your living room will talk about those things. Okay first thing to do and asked my wife to help me do this person want to do is to appraise those people that you just listed in your mind to do some appraisal when use the property appraisals you call somebody and to evaluate how how valuable is your property. Let's do some relationship appraising right now. I want you to appraise your relationship. What shape are they in a very great condition or are they raggedy. Let's talk through some of those things I suggest think about that minute I'm gonna ask you to share just her first opening thoughts about about this as we appraise. I've been thinking about this ever since Pastor started this series and if you recall that foundational scripture that he used was found in Psalms 90 versus 10 and 12 and it says the days of our lives. I 70 and if by reason of strength that are 80 years, yet their boast is only labor and sorrow for a decision can often be flyaway so teach us to number our days, that we may gain a height of waste time.

I will be 65 and two month and Excel. This Scripture is very extremely sobering when it said the days of our lives are 70 L that means roof five years last the importance that this Scripture place is a prime age because it makes us live soberly, appraise not only our relationships but to appraise our light. Pastor said how do you want people to speak about you after you are gone. What kind of legacy do you want to leave. What is your relational legacy. It says in Proverbs chapter 10 in verse seven that the memory of the righteous is but the name of the wicked will rot so it's important that we live in such a way that when we pass away.

People will think on our memory is black. We didn't cut off a lot of people we can cut off relationships. Meeting flat folks walk away, terminate relationship, hold grabbed his harbor unforgiveness stop speaking never get things right. You know we want to live in such a way that when even after work on our memory. The legacy of our memory is one of the nesting to other people.

I heard many years ago.

This wise comedy back someone had after they heard of the death of someone while they say always be good at that. Dad someone selling Dan good. We don't want that to be our legacy. We want people to speak well advice. After we are gone.

Now you know we got some work to do because that's where some of us think right now debate about several but let's let's appraise the key relationship so like think I'm just become examples, think about your key familial relationship. So parents with children. For instance parents how well you're doing at the zoning. The role you should be playing in your children's life right now and as you will continue to see them grow and develop. How well are you parenting listening to destined for victory with pastor Paul Shepherd, senior pastor of destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California. The second half of today's message comes your way.

Next, so stay tuned. You can always listen to destined for victory wherever you go. By downloading our free mobile app app allows you to select from any of Pastor Paul's recent messages you can order resources from our online store you can even take notes from the sermon right on your mobile device and Billy waiting for you the next time you stop by search destined for victory in your App Store and download our free mobile app today. Parenting is never an easy job and made much harder when parents try to be friends with her young children as joint. Pastor Paul and his wife for the rest of today's destined for victory message creating a relational legacy so people don't parent well and so when you appraise them as parents to see some real problems in the house of their parenting there some real issues. Some of y'all are too busy being your kids friend you should be friendly, should be loving but I'm not in your job to be your boy. I'm in your life to be your parent and I'm in your life to guide and direct you and so you got a look at how your designing that some of you need to discern how well you've done teaching them and preparing them for becoming adults. Some of us have adult children. We haven't properly prepared not to, but somebody you know didn't properly prepare your kids was not too late to help them retrofit and build a stronger foundation for their lives. You're not supposed to be a lifelong parent doing what you always did. I'll always be your parents and I'm gone when I got to be working myself out of a job. That's what parenting really is working myself out of a job. Eventually you will be the adult. In fact, we make it long enough. There will come a time when you might even have to help me in my old age and so I got a first of all, make sure you are full grown emotional as well as physical, adult appraise your parenting. How well are you doing are you and have you been a neglectful parent. You got a look at those kinds of things just like to say to women and mothers, especially you been over accommodating parent, sometimes as women and nurturers we can sell a lot of these children that we do and do and do for them.

It's just so easy.

They don't learn how to back their own clothes were tidy issues because mommy is always dealing it and money can make the bed that without the wrinkles and as they get all their own money can iron that mommy will watch that for you and then you have these kids who are getting older and older and you have these adults who are not handicap because mommy always did it, especially when you love your children and their good kids. So it's important that we don't cripple them and make them a mask for somebody else grown folks who don't know how to do anything because mommy did not love them to life. Good, love your children to life, not to children.

How are you doing at the transitions in your life appraise yourself as a child of a living parent.

How did you do in the obeying phase. You know the Bible says all said it clearly children obey your parents note no Greek you'll need to know to reconnect when you are a dependent child in your parents home do what they tell you to do a lot of us boomers we grow up in homes where you know soon as we act like we were getting rated again, ready to disobey wheat you know they let you know in no uncertain terms.

Please understand this in my house. You don't get to come in here and do as you please. You live here, but is my house my parents taught us you could come in any lower. Didn't know what if you were still a dependent in this home.

They told you when you accompany so how well are you doing or did you do with the obeying phase and then how well children did you shift from obey to honor. See, the Bible says honor your your father, mother, and it doesn't talk about only when you were a dependent. In fact, honoring really kicks in hard when you leave their home when you become an adult. You gotta honor them. The Bible, so that's a lifelong. So how will you doing you who are adult but have living adult parents how well you honoring them right now you're not in their home anymore.

You probably make more money they made you live somewhere different, you're living your life. But how well you honoring your parents you never outgrow honor in the biblical economy. You never outgrow honor inside. When you look at the Scriptures.

There are times when somebody was getting ready to go off to do a ministry thing such as Elisha, remember when Elijah went by Elisha through his mantle on him. That meant he was calling him to be his successor. And Elisha knew that and he started going with Elijah.

Then he realized, wait a minute I need to make sure my parents know I'm not dishonoring them. I'm always look out for them. And when you read first Kings 19 verses 19 and 21 don't have time to turn to it you'll see that he's told Elijah I'll be with you in a moment, and he went back home for his parents divorce.

I will always only you will be working with this guy. I'll never forget you.

I want you going with honoring your parents.

Do you: I call my mom every week. The Lord sends close one of these days I'm going to bring up phone and she will be on the other end. And so I don't want to think that I had talked to my mom in three years Missy died. No no no no I will you doing things like that is just a very flat adult children. We are all familiar with the first commandment with promise honor my father and thy mother that it also says in Proverbs 23 in verse 22 into your father who gave you life and don't despise your mother when she is old sometimes that things that in the late as irritated as when we were young and living in our parents home and under their rules, so to speak, we might carry those things and when grown I can't wait until I'm going to do this and be this way back Scripture in that in that just talking about honoring as we get older we learn to honor our parents as adult children by honoring God when our relationship with our heavenly father is growling and we learn how to honor and can he make sure that we are also learning how to honor our parents and so that's why like the Scripture and Proverbs 23 and 22.

Listen to your father who gave you life and don't despise your mother and she's old. Amen.

So let's think about honoring even when they got some of us have parents who already sees my dad with the Lord. My mom still here, but I'm glad I honor my dad right up to his the day he died.

Called him contacting them even when he was getting fuzzy in the head and out talks were as clear as the as they had been when he was younger but he knew that his son on the phone and I just with the handyman just checking on you pop are you going and what have you, even if it was a kind of fuzzy conversation, I wanted him to know that he's covered you're always on my mind. I got you covered. If you ever need anything I'm going be there to do it so much. So when they die right up to the burial. I love the fact that the Bible tells us something very interesting about Abraham's death. When Abraham died, and he says that he had. He had bold Isaac and Ishmael right Ishmael and his mama had been put out decades ago. What I did today is a different family dynamic. But Ishmael could adjust going off what he put me out of the house to get you ham died. He was buried by not only Isaac but by Ishmael is right in your Bible, Genesis 25 verse nine is the reference of his sons got together and buried their dead, which means Ishmael was intentional. I got put out but this is Monday and he honored him literally after he died. So when evaluating relationship. That's just some thoughts you think about your own relationships.

Now as you evaluate key relationships. Ask yourself questions like, should this relationship move forward as is the think about those key people that we just listed. Are any of those relationships are great just like we just need to keep moving forward and sustain what's going on.

That's good, and in some cases that's all you do is just recommit to remaining in a valuable place in their life, but some of us need to ask questions about certain relationships with this question.

Should this relationship be changed or adjusted in some way because some of us don't know how to change one's adjustment time so we all only know how to either keep it as is or throw it away when it when trouble comes now I know I know we sit in the living room and but so don't worry about who else is listening. Just us some times you have been guilty of throwing people away because they made you mad or you got into some issue and instead of resolving in a way that would've glorified God, you just throw them away. Forget you Van McGaw. Have you ever thrown somebody away and didn't even ask God, should you do you think you six appearance of your Starbucks and I just like to add here, I think so many of them even believe there is. We have been guilty of dancing pastor asked the question.

Should this relationship be changed or adjusted in some way.

Sometimes in order to maintain a relationship. The gasman is one that you have to make. You have got to adjust your expectation because if you fail to do that you will for ever be wanting someone else to change to accommodate you your preferences and your desires.

So sometimes back to Me. I have to make an adjustment. I have to adjust my expectation. This person cannot provide whatever it is that you want from Dan. So in order to have a change that to maintain unity. It says in Ephesians 4 and three in driver or be diligent to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

You can't do that and throw away people so adjust your expectations then you make the internal changes and that way you can keep relationships back without throwing people away in Matthew 18 Jesus said something really important. He said sometimes your brother or sister has offended you. They have they have trespassed against you in some way they have violated you in some way those of the time when many of us just throw people away done which you because you hurt my feelings. You offended me you disrespected me. What we have a laundry list of things that we could charge people with well Jesus.

He's our Lord.

So we gotta follow him.

Jesus said when somebody ends you read the next part of it, starting in verse 15 of Matthew 18 when your brother, sister, friend, you normally say go and show what the going confrontations don't always go the way we plan.

They can get messy. Even if we have the best of intentions, but when God calls us to do something he makes is able to do it if someone has wronged you confront them with love and understanding. Allow God to take care of the rest.

Thanks for being here for this Monday edition of Destin for victory in pastor Paul Shepard's message creating a relational legacy. Listen any of Pastor Paul's recent messages on demand@pastorpaul.net that's Pastor Paul… Were almost out of time. But before we go I want to thank you for all you're doing to help Pastor Paul share the love of Jesus to the Destin for victory broadcast your prayers and gifts of help turn this into a worldwide ministry with the growing audience in appreciation of your generous gift today. Pastor Paul will send you a booklet that goes hand-in-hand with the message or hearing.

Creating a relational legacy. Pastor Paul and Meredith spent three days talking about what God says about how we can improve and strengthen our personal relationships. That's the message of her today and will continue to hear all this week.

Will this booklet highlights the major themes in that message. It's called creating a relational legacy.

It's our gift to you this month my request for your generous gift to Destin for victory. Call 855-339-5500 or visit Pastor Paul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destin for victory PO Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538.

Again, our address is Destin for victory. Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538 how well you know what I going to show some. I hurt your feelings how well you're doing the same. You know what what you said to me really offended me and I need you to know how I feel said I take some maturity, some of us don't have. That's tomorrow in pastor Paul Sheppard shares his message creating a relational legacy. Until then, remember he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory