Creating a Relational Legacy, Part 2 (cont'd)

To create a strong and God-honoring relational legacy, you must always put people before prosperity, property, and personal ambition.

I'm going to say that again. To create a strong and God-honoring relational legacy, you must always put people before prosperity, property, and personal ambition. Hello and welcome to this Thursday edition of Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepherd, Senior Pastor of Destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California.

Wherever you are and however you may be listening, thanks for making this part of your day. Well, I hope you've been tuning in this week as Pastor Paul and his wife Meredith have been talking about what it looks like to build strong godly relationships. That message continues next as Pastor Paul continues his teaching series, Keeping the End in Mind. Stay with us here or visit pastorpaul.net to listen on demand.

That's pastorpaul.net. But let's join Pastor Paul and Meredith Shepherd now for their message, Creating a Relational Legacy. Our savior grew in a close personal relationship with his heavenly father, and he also grew in his human friendships and relationships. So undergirding all of our relational dealings with other people ought to be the foundation of our relationship with the Lord. As we grow in God, we should also be maturing and able to put up with some things and put up with some people. And it takes humility to sometimes know that I was wrong.

I misjudged you. I am sorry. As part of that maturation process, we need to be growing in humility and able to accept people, to beg pardon, to ask forgiveness, and let God's love cover over all of that. Amen.

Amen. And that's exactly what we find in Ephesians chapter four, the second part of verse two, where Paul uses the term as he's teaching the Ephesian church how to walk in unity. He says, bearing with one another in love. Some translations say put up with one another, forbear one another. That's the sign of maturity when I learn that a relationship doesn't always have to suit me in every detail.

Have you ever met the type, none of y'all who are here, some of the folks streaming? I can say that because we can't look at one another. I can't see them frowning at me. Some people, as soon as you work their nerves, they're done. You'll never grow, much less the other person growing, if you're through instantly.

That's it. Bye. Don't want to see you anymore. Bearing with one another, how do you do it in love, Paul said. See, love is not a because of. Sometimes love is an in spite of. See, the other types of love that we often talk about, phileo, friendship love, that's because you're my friend because we're compatible in this way.

That's fine. And erotic, romantic love, you know that that's because of. But that's why the Bible won't let you just have arrows and phileo.

It demands that we have a copy. Why? Because that's the in spite of love. That's the kind of love God has for us. I love you and there's nothing you can do about it.

That's what that means. I love you when you're getting on my nerves. I don't love that you're getting on my nerves, but I love you when you're getting on my nerves and I'm going to put up with stuff I don't like. I'm going to confront you when I need to confront you. But at the end of the day, I'm not throwing you away. And so we've got to learn how to live by this Ephesians 4 and 2 and just learn. Some of you all just need to exercise your put up muscle. Your put up muscle is pretty weak, especially if a lot of folk have let you down. Then the next person who really God did send into your life and they let you down, you immediately assign them to the other person. Some folk let you down, but they had no ill will, no ill intent, and they're willing to work through things with you. Just because you had somebody who let you down and they flipped you off on their way out of your life, not everybody is that way.

Have you ever seen somebody make the new person pay for the old person's mistakes? Come on, can we talk? Here, new relationship. Damaged.

You all heard her talk about damage last time, right? Yeah. And you make them pay for the old person's mistake. Two different folk.

Let this one prove who they are. Let them learn how to be a friend who loves at all times and a brother who is born for adversity. Because the right people will show up and when they get it wrong, they'll hang around long enough to get it right. And the good thing about being a believer is we never stop growing. We don't reach a certain age where we've got it all together. And sometimes as we get older, I told you last week that my next birthday is just a little less than two months away now. I will be 65, a bona fide senior citizen.

AARP, card-carrying, Medicare-having senior citizen. But I'm young at heart. You wouldn't know it.

If I didn't tell you, you wouldn't know. But anyhow, sometimes as we age, we become less and less tolerant of certain things. It's like I'm at an age where I don't have to put up with this anymore. But in Christ Jesus, we never reach that point or that age where we become less tolerant with people. Now we may not enjoy their shenanigans, but as we've been growing and aging, we ought to be maturing and growing in grace where we have an expanded capacity to put up with foolishness and immaturity, where we know how to hit our knees and pray and intercede for somebody.

We know how to speak the Word over somebody. Pray for them. Ask God to do a work in their life to build them up, to grow them up. And when you see them, affirm them. God's got such great things for you. Love you, baby. Love you, my sister.

Love you, my brother. God's got great things in your future. We don't want to grow intolerant of people's immaturity because we were once immature. We made a lot of our messes, and sometimes the people that we see now, they just don't remember when.

They didn't know us back then. But we need to grow in our ability to put up with and to entreat one another in love. Amen.

Now, we've got about 11 minutes left. We've got to make a few other key statements. Here is something I need you to know. To create a strong and God-honoring relational legacy, you must always put people before prosperity, property, and personal ambition. I'm going to say that again. To create a strong and God-honoring relational legacy, you must always put people before prosperity, property, and personal ambition.

Why? Because when you're gone, if you didn't prioritize people and your life was about your money and your property and your personal ambitions, what they say about you will not glorify God. They'll be talking about a self-centered, not kingdom-first person. The kingdom calls us to put people before all these things.

God so loved the world. I'm troubled that the church is so prosperity-oriented. Yes, I know Solomon said money answers all things, but at the end of the day, you've got to spend more time making a life than making a living. It's the life that matters. Making a living is not wrong. Prosperity is not wrong, but what is it for?

Money only means something when you spend it on people or things that change people's lives for the better. So we've got to learn to prioritize people. About the conflict, let me just say one more thing about conflict and learning to work things through. You know one of my covenant brothers is Pastor John K. Jenkins, Sr., from Maryland. I was with him as he was teaching a pastor's conference once, and he was on a section of his teaching helping them learn how to help their people deal with conflict resolution. And he said, let me give you an analogy that you'll have to use to help your people, or you could use to help your people. He said, imagine two mountain goats on a mountain, and they are on a trail right on the edge of the mountain that is so narrow that they cannot pass, one coming in one direction, one coming the other. He said, imagine a mountain trail on the side of the mountain, it's so narrow, you can only go one direction or the other. He said, one goat's coming down, one goat's coming up. He said, how do they both get where they're going? And we sat there, we who were in the conference sat there for a moment, and then one brother spoke up and said, well, one mountain goat got to throw the other one off. And we all fell out laughing, but we were trying to figure out what he was trying to get us to say.

So let me revise it. How do they both get where they're going without one being thrown off the mountain? And his answer was this, one has to lay down and let the other one walk over.

And once it lays down and lets the other one go where it's going, then they can get up and go where it's going. We'll be right back with more of today's Destined for Victory message from Pastor Paul Shepard. To listen to any of Pastor Paul's recent broadcasts, be sure to stop by pastorpaul.net to listen on demand. That's pastorpaul.net. And stay with us after today's message when Pastor Paul joins me from his studio in California. But first, let's tune in to the rest of today's teaching, Creating a Relational Legacy.

Once again, here are Pastor Paul and Meredith Shepard. Therein lies our problem. Well, go ahead and lay down there. Come on, somebody. It takes humility to be the one to go down. Let's say go ahead and pass. See, some of you all got to learn I'm not less than because I humble myself before you. I'm just letting us get past this little impasse so I can get on with my life. You don't have to stiffen all up.

I laid down the last time. Relationships aren't 50-50. They're whatever it takes to get to 100.

So sometimes you've got to do 80 and let them do the 20. All right, so you got that. Now, let's finish up with this.

We got seven minutes left. You've got to put people before prosperity, property, and ambition. Here's one way I want to encourage you to do that. Key relationships have to go ahead of work. Some of you all spend all your time making the living, and you don't pour into the people that God wants you to pour into. Sometimes you can't work that over time. Sometimes you can't take that certain project if it's going to upset the balance of your family. Sometimes you marry people, have a spouse who has gone through a certain needy season, and you can't just throw yourself into some work project.

You've got to prioritize home. You have to do it with friends. Sometimes a friend needs you in a way that you've got to go out of your way. I can't use fair-weather friends. All my covenant brothers know I know we're all busy people, and at a certain time in the evening, your do not disturb on your smartphone makes your phone not ring for certain people. I told all of them, if I'm your covenant brother, I've got to be in the favorites exception category. So if I happen to need you one night at 2 a.m., I probably won't, but if I do, I don't want to run into do not disturb. That's all I'm saying. And you've just got to know sometimes people need you, and you've got to put people before stuff and before personal ambition.

And sometimes that's seasonal also. Sometimes a person is going through a difficult time, and you give them that access to you, not so that they can just ring your phone at 2 or 3 a.m., but sometimes because of what they're going through, you are making the conscious decision to make yourself available for that season of their life. Absolutely. So we have to learn if we're going to prioritize people, we have to make sure that we take into account what do you need from me for you to become your best self and for me to help you do that. The Bible talks about the fact that iron sharpens iron. I've got to help you become your best if God has me playing a certain role in your life, and it can't always be based on convenience. I've said to people in times of crisis, when I hear about the crisis, where can I meet you?

And I am willing, when somebody's in my inner circle or somebody is playing a role in my life, I will get on a plane and go where they are to help them. That's what you see Jonathan do with David. Jonathan's own dad, Saul, was trying to kill David for no good reason. Jonathan knew his boy David was in trouble. He's on the run. He ended up spending ten years on the run. But during that time, there was a time when Jonathan found him.

You only find folk when you're looking. He's like, where's my boy? I know my dad's trying to kill him.

I know he must be in a horrible state of mind, and he don't have his cell phone with him. So I got to go find him. And he went and found him, and when you get a chance, read it. Jonathan's the king's son. One of the reasons Saul's mad is because he knows God has appointed David to be his successor. And by right, in terms of royal functions, Jonathan would be his successor, but God said, no, David's the successor. When Jonathan finds him, the Bible says he strengthens his hands in the Lord. When you find somebody who needs your strength, you've got to be willing to do what it takes. And not only did he strengthen his hands in the Lord, he encouraged him. He said, you are going to be the next king.

Imagine the king's son saying to somebody who's not related by blood, you're going to be the next king. He said, and I will be under you. That takes laying down. Y'all see what I'm saying?

That takes laying down. Your ego can't be involved in that. You just got to say this is God's will, and we're going to make this happen. So look at your key relationships.

Are you doing in their lives what you need to do? Sometimes we expect too much of people. That's the other thing. Sometimes you expect too much. You've heard me say it. Let me close with this. Let me remind you all, I told you in the words of that great theologian, Diana Ross, if you need me, call me no matter where you are, no matter how far. Just call my name.

I'll be there in a hurry. On that you can depend and never worry. No wind, no rain, no winter's cold can stop me, baby, if you're my goal. Ain't no mountain high enough. Ain't no valley low enough. Ain't no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you. That's a covenant relationship when you tell them. But now on the flip side, sometimes somebody really feels that way about you, and you are on the other side of the mountain, and they can't get to you.

And I know the song said that they would do whatever it took. You ever been on the other side of the mountain as somebody who needed you, was trying to contact you? Best you can do is text them from the other side of the mountain. You know I love you, right?

But I can't, I literally can't get there. But I'm praying for you. Love you. Take care.

Send. Sometimes that's the best you can do. When somebody can't be there for you, you have to remind yourself they are not my all sufficiency. Only one is my all sufficiency. When my wife, when my kids, when my brothers, when my sisters, when my covenant friends can't be there, God is always there.

Yes, we sang that this morning. Jaira, he is enough. He is our provider. He is the one that will never leave you nor forsake you. He's closer than a brother, and we need to cling to that reality, that he is our enough.

Amen. Do what you have to do to build a strong, godly, relational legacy, because at the end of the day, how much money you die with is not going to matter nearly as much as how you impacted other people's lives for the glory of God. People are not going to talk about your car when you're gone.

But they're going to talk about how you impacted them, how you met them at the point of their need. And so we have to prioritize people over everything else. I want to say to you that we have to live so as to keep the end in mind, because one of these days, we all... Look, Andre Crouch sang it well, soon and very soon. We are going to see the king. And you don't necessarily have to be old or sick to go. So the best way is to live your life ready to go. I don't want to go for a while. Don't y'all want to stay here for a while? You got some more plans, got some more things you want to do for God?

I do. Plan to live, but be ready to die. That's what I got to say to you.

Be ready to go, because folk are leaving in their teens, folk are leaving in their 20s, folk are leaving in their every decade. I've done funerals in every decade. I did the funeral of a baby that you could hold, the little casket you could hold in two hands. The baby just weeks old and died. And I had to do the funeral, and the parents sat there, and the family just wept, and I had to comfort them. I remember saying, as I eulogized this precious baby and comforted them, I said, I want to tell you one thing about this baby. This baby never knew the hate and the harm of this world. This baby only knew your love for a few months, and now this baby only knows the love of God. Those are the only words the Lord gave me to help comfort. But we have to understand, we're all leaving here, whether it's an infant, a child, teenager, a young adult, older adults, checking out.

So live your life to God's glory, but be ready to go because we never know when that time is coming. Thanks so much for being here for today's Destined for Victory message, creating a relational legacy. Well, one of the reasons Pastor Paul loves being in ministry is that he gets to do it with you, our Destined for Victory friends and partners. And today, as we do every week here on the broadcast, we'd like to invite you to partner with us by making a monthly pledge of $20 a month or more. Please consider joining Pastor Paul in sharing the gospel of Christ all over the world. As our way of saying thanks for your partnership, we'll send you a few welcome gifts, including the latest edition of Let My People Smile.

It's actually called The Best of Let My People Smile, and I've asked Pastor Paul to join me in the studio. Pastor, what are some of the reasons why you put this series together? I like making people laugh because I think you can laugh and learn at the same time. So I prefer to do that.

I don't think we should bore people with the Bible. And I enjoy sharing my sense of humor. It's a gift God gave me. Now, I'm a preacher's kid. My dad was a crack-up in the pulpit. And I tell you, if anybody ever heard him and then they hear me, they know where my sense of humor came from.

It came from my dad. But I'm glad to be able to use something that comes quite naturally and use it just as a tool to engage people so that I can tell them the truth. Some of my listeners and some of the members of my church say, you know, it's not unusual for you to have me laughing and crying all in the same setting. And that's kind of good because we need to be challenged, but at the same time, it's okay to laugh, and I appreciate.

In fact, the Bible says laughter is like medicine, and I think we could all use some good medicine every now and then. Thank you, Pastor Paul. Friends, when you become a Destined for Victory partner by pledging a monthly donation of $20 or more, we'll send you that CD as a thank you gift, along with a few other special gifts. So call 855-339-5500 to become a Destined for Victory partner. That's 855-339-5500. Or sign up online at PastorPaul.net. And if you prefer mail, just let us know you wish to become our partner when you send your first gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538. And if you're unable to become our partner today, you can still have Pastor Paul's booklet, Creating a Relational Legacy, a companion guide to the message you're hearing all this week.

Request that booklet when you give your generous one-time donation today. You know, how can I know that a relationship that I've had for some time may be coming to an end, whether it's a friendship, an acquaintance relationship? How do you know when this relationship has run its course or it needs to end? Let me just give you a few possible indicators. At the end of the day, you still got to prayerfully seek out what the Lord wants you to do.

Here are a few possible indicators a relationship may need to end. That's tomorrow in Pastor Paul and Meredith Shepherd's message, Creating a Relational Legacy. Until then remember, He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.