Audio on demand from Vision Christian Media We know that marriage is special to God because he uses it to show us Christ's love for the church. That's also how we know that divorce hurts the heart of God. Today on Turning Point, Dr David Jeremiah returns to the confrontation between Jesus and the Pharisees plotting to trap him with a loaded question about divorce. To introduce the conclusion of his message, what Jesus said about divorce, is David. Well, thank you for joining us today. We're going to wrap up what we started yesterday.
People ask me, why are you talking about this? And the only reason I can tell you that I'm talking about it because it's next in the Bible. That's the way we have to approach the Scripture. I've been so interested recently to be reminded again of the importance of judges being originalists.
You know, that's what I want to be. I want to be an originalist when it comes to the Scripture. I want to have the same attitude toward the Word of God that a Supreme Court judge should have to the law. And that is, tell you what the Bible says, not what I would like it to say. Tell you what it meant when it was written, not what it has been interpreted to say since then. Come to the very best possible way of understanding what Jesus meant when he said these things. That's the meaning we should take from it. That's what it means to be a true expositor of the Word of God. It's to be an originalist. And that means that when you come across things that are difficult to talk about, where you realize there's a possibility you might be offensive to someone while you don't really want to do that and it's not your purpose, you don't jump over it because it's tough, because it's in the Bible so that we study it and learn it and benefit from it.
And we allow it to inform our lives in how we act. So here we are today with part two of what Jesus said about divorce, and I'm going to get right into it right now. So it's Mark chapter 10, verses 1 through 12.
Let's convene our study from yesterday. If you have followed our discussion carefully, you know that Mark has allowed for no exceptions in his answer. But he has presented the permanence and perfection and purity of marriage and the general unacceptability of divorce from the standpoint of heaven. Mark does not look at the other side of the issue that we are imperfect people living in a sinful environment. But Matthew does consider that other side, and it is a mistake to isolate Mark's teaching from Matthew's teaching because they go together. Mark and Matthew do not contradict each other. Matthew expands upon Mark's teaching. Now we need to read Matthew's account of Jesus' words.
He includes some words that Mark did not include in his answer. In Matthew 19, 9, we read Jesus' answer to the disciples, and I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. In Mark's Gospel, there are no exceptions. But Matthew records everything that Jesus said that day and reminds us that in the whole issue of marriage and divorce, there is at least one exception according to Matthew, and that is the exception of sexual immorality. Jesus said that again in the book of Matthew when he gave his sermon on the mount as recorded in chapter 5. Let me read that to you. Furthermore, it has been said, whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce, but I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
Now listen carefully. Matthew, Mark, and Luke all record this interchange that Jesus had with his disciples in the house, but only Matthew's account includes the exception clause. The Lord Jesus Christ, listen to me, permitted divorce and remarriage on one ground and one ground only, marital unfaithfulness, and he permitted it.
He did not command it. So this is what Jesus had to say about marriage and divorce, and what shall we say as we reflect upon this in our own lives and in our church and in our families? And if I were to ask this question today, how many of you have divorce in your family, your extended family, or your close friends? Every single hand would be lifted up. So it's important for us to know what God thinks about this, and I want you to be listening carefully because there is hope and compassion and love in all of these words, but you need to know what they mean.
So here's what I would like to say to you, that letter A. According to the Word of God, marriage is permanent and God hates divorce. The permanency of marriage has been the theme of our Scripture today, God's intention for our marriages is they last until they are ended by death. Romans 7, 2 says, for the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives, but if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. God's ideal plan is one man for one woman for life.
By the way, that takes care of a lot of other social issues we're dealing with today. God did not change his mind about marriage after the fall of man. Some people say, well, yeah, the marriage thing was back in the early chapters of the book of Genesis, but after the fall, God changed his mind. Well, let me take you from the earliest verses of the Old Testament to some of the last verses of the Old Testament. Let's fast forward from Genesis and Deuteronomy all the way to the last book in the Old Testament, the book of Malachi. Malachi is preaching to Israel because they have stopped following the law of God and they have fallen into rebellion against God, and Malachi was sent to the people of Israel to preach to them. And if you want to read some in-your-face sermons, read the book of Malachi. I mean, he didn't say this is going to be compassionate.
He just got in their face with it. And here's what Malachi said to them in chapter 2, verses 14 and following. "'Why has God abandoned us?' you cry.
I tell you why. It is because the Lord has seen your treachery in divorcing your wives who have been faithful to you through the years. The companions you promised to care for and keep. You were united to your wife by the Lord. In God's wise plan, when you married, the two of you became one person in his sight.
And what does he want? Godly children from your union. Therefore, guard your passions. Keep faith with the wife of your youth, for the Lord, the God of Israel, says he hates divorce."
Now, don't run out of this service before I tell you what he means. He doesn't hate divorced people. All of us, if we're honest, if we know anything about divorce, we should hate divorce too. In spite of what they say today, divorce isn't something anybody ever wants to experience. Nobody goes into a marriage saying, oh boy, I hope this marriage ends in a divorce.
Nobody does that. Whenever we echo the words of Malachi about God's hatred of divorce, some people misunderstand that to mean that God hates people who are divorced. Nothing could be further from the truth, either about God or about any of us who represent God. But I also want you to know that the Word of God has some instructions for us here so we can find our way back if we can. You say, well, why does God hate divorce?
I could let you stand up here and give testimony, any of you, in this room. God hates divorce because he knows the pain that is in it. God hates divorce because he doesn't want children being shuffled back and forth between two families. God hates divorce because he sees the pain of memories that are broken and shared lives that no longer can be shared.
God hates divorce because no matter what we may try, our divorce can never make our marriage go away. A marriage that can be dissolved in the courts cannot be so easily dissolved in life. Divorce may end the covenant between two partners, but it does not end the relationship. One commentator has written, the craziest thing about marriage is that one cannot get divorced.
We just do not seem to make it out of intimate relationships. It is obviously possible to divide up property and decide not to live together anymore, but it is impossible to go back to being single. Divorce is leaving a part of self behind like a rabbit who gnaws off his paw to get out of a trap. God hates divorce not because he hates us but because he loves us and he doesn't want us to have that pain. That is why the plan is so clear in the Scripture, why God says this is what I want.
This is how you can know the greatest intimate joy in your life. So marriage is permanent and God hates divorce, but here is the second thing we need to take away from this. Divorce is permitted for two reasons.
Jesus told us about one and Paul will tell us about the other. The first one we have already run into, divorce is permitted for sexual immorality. Matthew 5, 32, but I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery. Matthew 19, 9, and I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality.
Now listen carefully. The Bible does not say that when there is immorality on the part of a marriage partner that divorce is commanded. It does not say that.
It says simply that it is permitted. The Bible does not imply that this immorality is necessarily a one-time occurrence. I believe our Lord is referring to continued, repeated, unrepented unfaithfulness so that there is a marriage where one of the partners continues to violate the marriage covenant over and over again with no repentance.
I believe that is primarily what the Lord Jesus is talking about here. There are many incidents where there has been an incident of infidelity and the person who has committed the sin has repented of that sin, asks forgiveness, and over a period of time in healing that marriage has bonded back together and that couple has gone on to know the joy that God meant for them to have. So don't take the permission for divorce on the basis of immorality to mean a commandment.
God is not commanding you. You can still make it work in your marriage if you are serious about it and there is no sin that God cannot forgive, and that needs to be understood. The first reason the Bible gives for divorce is sexual immorality.
Here's one that you may not know about, and the second one is desertion. I want to read to you these words from 1 Corinthians chapter 7. If any brother has a wife who does not believe and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband, otherwise your children would be unclean. But now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart.
A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. Paul is writing a letter to the church in Corinth, which was a very, very wicked city. Some people were getting born again through the message of the Gospel. And when they got born again and they looked around and realized they were not married to somebody who was born again, they were leaving. And Paul wrote this to say, don't do that.
You don't have to do that. If you stay in the marriage, the very fact that you're a Christian, you're going to sanctify that house. In other words, you bring the presence of Christ into your home. And even one person who has Christ in his heart brings the presence of Christ into the home. But then Paul went on to say, but if your unbelieving partner decides they no longer want to live with you and they depart, then you have the right of divorce because you were divorced because of your faith in Jesus Christ.
That's very specific. Suppose a woman starts to attend one of our women's Bible studies and she discovers what it means to be truly a Christian and she gives her heart to Christ and she's genuinely transformed. And when her husband finds out that she's become a follower of Jesus Christ, he becomes very unhappy with her and he never wanted to be married to one of those Christians in the first place. And so she continues to be a gracious, loving wife to her husband and continues to love and respect him as the head of their family. And then one day he comes home from work and he says to her, woman, I don't want to be married with you anymore. I'm leaving.
And he walks out. And the Bible says that if that happens and he refuses to return and support his family, that woman has the right ultimately of divorce. Divorce for the desertion by an unbelieving partner in a relationship where there is a believing partner is permitted by God.
But once again, it is permitted. It is not commanded. You are not ever commanded in the Bible to get a divorce. Divorce is a concession, not an intention. Thirdly, remarriage is possible for those who have been divorced. Now you may think that's kind of strange, but when I was growing up in the church it was very common to hear of someone who had been divorced who had been told they had a biblical right to be divorced but they could never be remarried. But if a person is biblically justified in getting a divorce, then he or she is biblically justified in getting remarried.
The whole purpose of a certificate of divorce was for remarriage. When we study this passage in Mark about divorce, we should recognize that Jesus was not speaking here to those who had experienced the brokenness of a marriage failure. He was responding to a test question of the Pharisees. What he might have said to people in the throes of divorce, we can only surmise by what he said to the woman caught in adultery and to the Samaritan woman who had five husbands and was living with a man who was not her husband. If you want to know what Jesus thinks about all of that, read those two stories. The principle of redemption governed Jesus' ministry to people. Peter received more than one chance to start anew after denying his Lord with curses, and one might infer that others who commit different kinds of sins also get second chances with the Lord. Somebody say, well, my marriage is done. I'm done.
Not necessarily. You have a wonderful, redemptive God. I always love the passage in the book of Jonah, and the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time. How many of you know God is the God of second chances and third chances, and if it weren't true, none of us would have a chance. Amen? God is a gracious, loving God. Here's the fourth thing.
These are just some guidelines. Salvation is pivotal in understanding your situation. In 1 Corinthians 17, 20, and 24, we read, but as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk, and so I ordain in all the churches. Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called brethren.
Let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called. What if you came to Christ in your 50s, and behind you in your past life, before you knew Christ, you've had one or two, maybe three marriages, and now you're a believer, a follower of Christ. You have a wonderful new wife, and you sit in your house one day, and you read the passages on divorce, and you're thinking, I wonder if we should be here together. Here in this chapter that is almost exclusively about marriage and divorce, Paul gives a principle that reminds us that when we are found and redeemed by the Lord, we are to stay in whatever situation we are in. Somebody says, well, I understand now what God says about divorce, and I just became a Christian, so I'm going to do what they did in Corinth. I'm going to go get rid of my husband or get rid of my wife.
No. The Bible says stay in the calling in which you were called, and ask God to take wherever you are in that calling and sanctify it and make it the best for his glory. That's the principle of the word of God as I understand it. And then here's the last thing.
This will really shock you. Marriage is primarily about discipleship. During our study in Mark, I hope you've noticed that discipleship is at the core. Jesus has called his disciples to place their lives last and serve and sacrifice for the good of others. According to Jesus, marriage is about discipleship, about following him, about reflecting his character and his priorities in your relationship with your spouse.
Some directions for Christians, and let me do this quickly. Number one, thank God for your marriage. Don't take it for granted. You're sitting here today thinking, oh boy, I'm glad I came today. I'm glad none of this stuff is in my life, in my marriage.
Don't get cocky about it. You know, there's always been a time in a marriage relationship when people thought this could never happen to me. If you're in a good marriage, here's what I'd like you to do. Be sure you tell your spouse today, before the day is over, how much you love her or him, and be sure you tell God how grateful you are for your marriage, because marriage is the greatest thing on earth that you can ever experience, and it's a gift from God. Don't forget that.
Have a spirit of gratitude in your heart about your marriage. Number two, don't judge those who are struggling or have already experienced divorce. In his book, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes this about judging. He says, Matthew 7, 1-2 needs to be considered. Judge not that you be not judged, for with what judgment you judge, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. Then he makes this comment in his devotion.
This statement is not some haphazard theory, but it is an eternal law of God. Whatever judgment you give will be the way you are judged. If you have been shrewd in finding out the shortcomings in others, remember that will be exactly how you will be measured. The way you pay is the way life pays you back. Who of us would like to stand before God and say, my God, judge me as I have judged others?
No. In our culture, in our church, in our family, in our neighborhood, we have many who are in different places in their marriage than we are. Don't judge them. Love them. You're not called ever to judge them. You are called to love them and minister to them. It's none of your business how it happened or why. Just love them.
Don't judge them. Number three, if your marriage is developing stress fractures, get help. Oh, I can't emphasize this enough. Some of you are going to tell me there's no way in the world you're going to take your wife or your husband and go to some strange office and sit down across from a stranger and tell them your problems, all right? You can go to another office, sit down at a desk with a lawyer at her side and another lawyer at your side and divide up your stuff. You have a choice. When your marriage is hurting and you know you can't deal with the issues, don't wait until it's too late.
Go and get help. Thank God for your marriage. Don't take it for granted. Don't judge those who are struggling or have already experienced a divorce. If your marriage is developing stress fractures, get help. If you're planning to get married, pray a lot.
Pray a lot. Most divorces start before the ceremony. You wouldn't believe the crazy reasons some people give for getting married. Everybody in my class is getting married. Well, everybody in your class may be getting a divorce.
It's not a good thing to follow everybody in your class. Outside of your salvation, marriage is the most important decision you will ever make. Treat it carefully, prayerfully, and slowly. Do everything you can to understand each other, then make a commitment. Marriages that start in a hurry often end in a hurry. Be patient. Be prayerful. And last, if you're being unfaithful to your spouse, stop it now.
Today, put an end to it. Do it so that it can never happen again, whatever that means. Your marriage is far more important than you know, and it cannot survive your unfaithfulness over a period of time. Whatever you're doing that's not honoring to your marriage, put a stop to it. You know the Bible says that marriage is the only relationship there is that God could use to illustrate how much he loves the church. The Bible says that marriage is the perfect illustration of Christ's love for the church. And the Bible says we're to love our wives' husbands as Christ loved the church. The reason that relationship is so special is because intimacy in marriage is like the intimacy we should have with Christ as the church.
Listen carefully. Jesus is the bridegroom, and the church is the bride. Aren't you glad he hasn't divorced us? And he has every right, because have we been unfaithful to him?
You bet we have. But here's what the Scripture says. Because we have been unfaithful, he still remains faithful to us. And he loves you, and he loves me. No matter where you are in your walk with the Lord, I say this again, you may have been uncomfortable about this because of where you are in your relationship.
But if you've put your life back together after the hurt of a divorce, you know it surely wouldn't be your desire for your children to have to go through that. And I hope that if you know what God's plan is, you can help guide and direct them, and that you have a book that will give you instruction. This is a book of conviction and a book of compassion.
Let's don't slip to either side. We need truth and grace. If we have truth without grace, nobody cares. If we have grace without truth, it doesn't make any difference. We need truth and grace.
Jesus spoke with truth and grace, and it's my prayer that you've received the message today in that same way. Friends, near the beginning of the ministry of Jesus, he made a statement that at the time may not have seemed to be all that challenging. But he said, if we search the Scriptures, we will find out that they testify of him. And you remember the story of the two disciples that were walking on the road to Emmaus after the resurrection of Jesus, and how when Jesus came alongside of them and began to talk with them, he began to teach them about himself from the Old Testament. Is Jesus in the Old Testament? Some people say we should divorce ourselves from the Old Testament and just study the New. But the Old Testament is the preparation for everything in the New, and the New is the explanation of everything in the Old. And it's all about one thing.
It's all about one person. It's about Jesus. Be sure to join us tomorrow right here on This Good Station. The message you just heard originated from Shadow Mountain Community Church where Dr. David Jeremiah serves as Senior Pastor.
Let us know how Turning Point keeps you spiritually strong. Write to us at Turning Point, Post Office Box 3838, San Diego, CA 92163. Or visit our website at davidjeremiah.org. Ask for your copy of O. S. Hawkins' new book, The Bible Code, finding Jesus in every book in the Bible.
It's yours for a gift of any amount. You can also purchase the Jeremiah Study Bible in the English Standard Version, the New International Version and the New King James Version, filled with hopeful notes and articles by Dr. Jeremiah. Visit davidjeremiah.org forward slash radio for details. I'm Gary Hooke Fleet. Join us tomorrow as we continue the series in search of the Saviour. That's here on Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah. Thanks for taking time to listen to this audio on demand from Vision Christian Media. To find out more about us, go to vision.org.au
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