There are two ways to raise children. the world's way, and God's way. and we've seen the dismal results of the world's way. Today, on Turning Point, Dr. David Jeremiah explores the alternative.
sharing Solomon's proven wisdom for parents, grandparents, and parents to be. From Powerful Principles from Proverbs, here's David to introduce Power Up Your Parenting Skills. Proverbs for Parents. Hey, you know, before we're parents, we know a lot about parenting, and then we have our first child and we're totally ignorant. We wonder what in the world, how do I go about doing this?
It's kind of fun for me to watch this in my grandchildren and in my children as their babies come along to watch them figure out how to do this parenting business. It's a really big challenge to know what to do in every situation, and there's no two situations that are exactly alike. But when you have God on your side and you have the Word of God giving you direction, it's so much easier.
So, parents, listen up. There's probably something here that will help you because that's why it was written for your use and your purposes of being better parents. We are very excited that Turning Point produces material to help you grow. And often in our magazine, we will have articles about parenting.
So if you're not getting Turning Points Magazine and Devotional, you should get it. It's yours for the asking if you'll just say, please put me on the list to receive the magazine. It'll come to your home every month. And you can stay abreast with what's going on on the air, because the devotions kind of go along with what we're teaching. And there's wonderful articles to help you advance in your walk with Christ.
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Now let's get started with our discussion about parenting from the book of Proverbs, Part 1. Good. Today, we're going to talk about powerful principles from the Proverbs as we talk about Proverbs for parents. While most of this is going to be directed at parents, I also have a few words for the product of parents, the children. And I'm always reminded when we come to this particular point in any study that we have.
Of the wonderful heritage that we have in our kids. And not only is it a heritage of blessing, it's a heritage of humor as well.
Now that we have the opportunity to start all over again with grandchildren in our family, it's like reviewing all of the wonderful things that have happened, even back when our children were small. I read about an Episcopal church that, in one of its publications, revealed some answers that were given. to church school questions by children. They're beautifully incorrect. Oh.
One answered that Noah's wife was Joan of Arc. That makes sense if you think about it for a moment.
Someone was asked the fifth commandment, and they said the fifth commandment is to humor your mother and father. One of my favorites is someone was asked to describe Lot's wife. And the young child said, Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night. They were studying church history, and one of the children said that the Pope lived in a vacuum, not in the Vatican. And one little girl said that a Christian can only have one wife.
This is called monotony. I mean, that's what she thought. One of the reasons that we love to be around children and we love to teach about children and how we can. Encourage them and bless them is that children. Make us laugh, don't they?
They do things and say things that make us laugh. I know that many of you remember Art Link Letter. And his discussion with children, it seemed like he could get children to say just about anything he wanted them to say. He has a book called Children Say the Darndest Things. And in this little book, he remembers a three-year-old girl with big brown eyes whom he asked.
What do you do to help your mother? She said, I help my mom cook breakfast.
Well, how do you help your mom with breakfast? I put the toast in the toaster, but she won't let me flush it. He asked one grammar school youth what his father did for a living, and the boy took the microphone as if it were an ice cream cone. He said, My dad's a cop. He catches crooks and burglars and spread-eagles them and puts cuffs on them and takes them down to the station and puts them in the slammer.
Wow, Link Letter replied. I bet your mother gets worried about this work, doesn't she? Oh no, he said. He brings her lots of watches and rings and jewelry and stuff. And then one time he said to this kid, he said, Let me give you a situation.
You're a pilot of a commercial airliner, you've got 250 passengers, you're flying to Hawaii, you're out over the ocean, and all four engines go out. What do you do? The little kids stood there and thought, and he said, I'd press the fasten your seat belt button and parachute. I hope he doesn't grow up to be a pilot.
Well, children are in heritage from the Lord, and they're a blessing to us, but. It also is true that children can be a real challenge.
Someone has said the younger generation no longer respects its elders, it terrorizes its teachers. fails to rise when older people enter the room, and has atrocious manners. That comment did not come from a letter to the editor column in the local newspaper. It is the observation of a wise old man who lived many decades ago named Socrates.
So apparently the problem isn't new with our generation. It's been around for a while. These words don't seem too unlike those of a contemporary school teacher who resigned her position in a public school and included this analysis her resignation. The teachers are afraid of the principals, the principals are afraid of the school board, the school board is afraid of the parents, the parents are afraid of the children, and the trouble is the children aren't afraid of anybody.
So from Socrates' day to ours, It's a challenge, isn't it? And everyone who's gone through the process of Growing up in a family and rearing a family knows that the problem is there are two basic approaches to all of this: there's the approach of the world. Which we've had long enough now to observe, and there's the approach of God. The wisdom of the world that's turned loose on a home brings nothing but disaster and confusion and heartache. The demise of the American home is the predictable result of having followed the world's wisdom.
Over the years, this is what we have done. We live according to the principles of the wisdom of the world. And we who are Christians Who decide to go a different way are often viewed by those in our culture as people who are out of touch. People who don't understand, people who are living with an antiquated system of values. I want to explore with you.
What the book of Proverbs has to say. about the family. And obviously, I can't teach everything that's in this book on the family. I'm going to do the very best I can to give you some thoughts, basically, as an overview. And then I'm going to zero in on one area that the Proverbs speaks to very clearly, and that is the discipline of children.
I remember when our children were born that I got really interested in discipline. I never thought very much about it, nor did I ever evaluate why my parents cared for us the way they did. But now that I had children of my own, I wanted to read everything I could find on the subject. And so I read a lot of literature on discipline, and someone recommended that I read the book of Proverbs, which I began to do. There, of course, is that wonderful verse, Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way that he should go.
And when he's old, he won't depart from it. I remember when I was going through some stress with one of my children, that I read that and I didn't get a great deal of comfort from the verse. It sounded to me like the only time you were ever going to get rewarded for being a parent when you were so old you couldn't enjoy it. When you were slipping into the grave, and the last words you hear are, Well, your children finally got it right. And I began to realize that the proverbs are not absolute.
promises they're The wisdom literature of the Old Testament presenting to us life as it normally is. And the normal, absolute truth is: when you make input into your children, it will have a beneficial impact on their lives. If you train them up, if you rear them up, if you make them hungry for the things of God. They will not stray from it. That is normally the way it happens.
And every time you preach this, somebody comes up and says, Well, what about my child? And they'll give you this long illustration.
Well, the Bible just tells us: if you want to put all of the best feet forward in your family, here are some things you need to do. And one of the things you need to do is make some input into their lives. Children are like computers. What goes in determines what comes out. And to let The cultures say that you should let your children grow up in a morally neutral society is to commit.
Murder in your family because there is no such thing as a morally neutral society. If you don't make the input into their lives, I promise you somebody will. And what's happening in our world today is Christian parents, to a large degree, have taken a step back. from making very strong input into the lives of their children, and then they're surprised at what happens when their children get to a certain age and they begin to see the manifestations of things that do not come from a Christian input. Discipline Determines that we're going to make a difference in the lives of our children.
And the book of Proverbs is a great example for how we're to go about this. This Old Testament book contains principle after principle, verse after verse. That tells us some things about our children and about parenting that will help us know how to respond.
Solomon addresses issues like family problems, sexual deviation, adulterous women, education in the home, and rebellious children, and parent-child relationships, and many, many others. If you haven't started to read the book of Proverbs, let me urge you again that there are 31 chapters in the book. You can read one chapter every day, every month, and you can get this book under your skin, most of all, in your heart. Proverbs 24, 3 and 4 says this. Through wisdom is a house built.
And by understanding it, it is established. By knowledge, the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Literally, the proverb says that through wisdom a house is rebuilt. In other words, through the wisdom of God, you can rebuild your family, rebuild your home, and build a strong foundation for the future. I want to just say a couple of things from the Proverbs about the other side of the equation.
You know, the book of Proverbs has many, many places where it tells us that as children, we have the ability. to break the hearts of our parents. And you know what? You're never too old to do that. One of the thoughts, in kind of a strange way that I had.
When my father died and then Donna's mother died, we had no parents left. And we are now the patriarchs of the family, which is a little scary. But the other thought is I'd never be able to break my parents' heart. As long as my parents were alive, I could have done something that would have broken. My father's heart, broken my mother's heart.
What we do as children has a dynamic effect upon those Who have reared us. And I don't care whether we're young or old. Years ago, in a conference where I said that we're never too old to break our parents' hearts. that parenting is something you carry with you to the grave. They're once apparent, always apparent.
And a guy came up to me and he said, You know, what you said is absolutely true. He said, I have a friend. Whose kids are just driving him nuts. He said, he worries all about whether his kids dress right, do they eat right, are they living right, are they the way they're supposed to be? And he said, Pastor, this is the truth.
He said, my friend is 90 and his kids are 70.
So, this goes with us all the way through life. We're going to be doing this for the rest of our lives.
So let me remind you, all of you who are children, who still have parents living. That it's possible for you not to respond to life in a right way and therefore bring hurt. to your parents. Listen to these proverbs. Proverbs 10.1.
The proverbs of Solomon: a wise son makes a glad father. But a foolish son is the grief of his mother. Proverbs fifteen, twenty, a wise son makes a father glad. But a foolish man despises his mother. Proverbs 17, 25.
A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him. Proverbs 19, 13, a foolish son is the ruin of his father. Proverbs 19:26. He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach. Proverbs 23, 22.
Listen to your father. who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. All of these proverbs, what are they saying? They're saying that whether or not our parents have done everything right And who could say that any parent does? Whether we look back on our childhood days as positive and we feel like everything was the way it should be, sooner or later along the way, we have to draw a line in the sand and say, mom and dad didn't do everything right.
But the Bible says I'm to honor my father and my mother, and I'm going to take that approach and do that. And when children are growing up, please note. Your parents, whether they're perfect or not, are God's instrument in your life for your good. If they're Christian parents, be thankful. And even though you may not always understand what they're up to, honor them with your life.
Because if you refuse to do that and go off on a tangent, you can bring hurt to your mother and ruin to your father. Isn't it interesting how the Proverbs describe that? That usually it's the mother's heart that's broken, and it's the father. whose pride is dashed in the ground. I have to tell you that as a parent, I watch this every week.
How my children love their mother. How they tell their mother things I would like to know, but they never tell me. My children have the ability to bring a sense of pride to my heart. And I think that's the way it works. The mother has the tenderness of the relationship, so when a child goes astray, the mother's heart is broken.
But when that child does right. It's the father. who takes pride. And it doesn't seem that that's fair, does it, mothers? Fathers get to be proud when they do things right.
You get to have a broken heart when they do things wrong. That's what the proverb says.
Well The Bible tells us that parents are called upon to disciple their children. I want to talk with you about discipline in a moment, but I want to just give you a little bit of a taste of what the Proverbs says about how we're to disciple our children. And one of the keys to that, if you read the book of Proverbs, is go through the book, and every time you see the words, my son, Underline them. Because my son is an introduction to what Solomon is going to say as if he were instructing his own boy, and after that will come instruction. If you want to know how to disciple your children, here are some ways you can do it.
Look up every place in the book of Proverbs where you see the word my son, and then read what follows, and you will find some interesting things.
Now, we don't have time to look at all of them, but I made a list of them just to entice you to do this on your own. In chapter 1, verses 8 through 19, there's instruction about peer pressure. It begins with my son and it talks about peer pressure. In chapter 2, verses 1 and following, there's instruction about paying attention to wise counsel. How do you teach your children to pay attention?
In chapter 3, there's instruction about putting your trust in God. In chapter 4, there's instruction about protecting your heart. from that which can destroy you. In chapter five, there's a great paragraph of instruction on proper speech. How many of you know that children often need to be taught?
what to say and what not to say. In chapter 6, there's instruction about parental guidance. And in chapter 7, there's instruction about purity. And I'm not going to go any further than that, but you can go further than that. And if you want to know how to disciple your children and how to make input into their lives, every time you see the word my son in the text, Read carefully what follows, and you will have a good outline.
for the discipleship of your children. What I really want to talk with you about primarily is the fact that parents are not only called upon to disciple their children. They're called upon to discipline their children. Discipline is almost going out of style. And if you don't believe that, Travel on an airplane.
I'm quite a traveler. And when I see them coming through the front door. I began to pray as they moved toward my seat. Oh Lord, keep them at least seven or eight rows away. I thought it's Because it is overwhelming to me how parents Allow their children to do anything and don't even make any attempt.
Don and I were flying home from someplace and there was a mother. seated two rows in front of us and she had two little children. The one little girl was screaming her head off. How many of you know that children have a scream that's in a pitch? That is the most hurtful part of your eardrum.
How many of you know that?
Well, she had managed that pitch. And it was non-stop. This was a two and a half hour flight. And I kid you not, her mom was reading Ladies Home Journal. Just hanging on to the kid so she wouldn't run up and down the aisle while she screamed her head off, reading her magazine like nothing was going on.
And I had to pray. That God would give me the discipline. Not to say something I'd be sorry about later. No. Absolutely no attempt to bring discipline or control into the life.
Where did this all start?
Well, it didn't come from Solomon, I promise you, because let me tell you what Solomon has to say about all this. This would not get me any acclaim on talk shows today, but I'm just going to read to you what the Bible says. First of all, the Bible says that discipline is proper for every child. That's the first principle. It's proper for every child.
Notice chapter 3, verses 11 and 12. Here are the Proverbs: My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest his correction. For whom the Lord loves, he corrects, just as the Father, the Son, in whom he delights. Proverbs 29 and verse 17 says, Correct your son, and he will give you rest. Yes, He will give delight to your soul.
Hebrews 12, 7 says, if you endure correction, God deals with you as with sons. For what Son is He whom the Father does not chasten?
So, no matter how big or how strong or how mean, every child is to be under discipline. What is happening in this world of ours that is dominated by humanist philosophy is the accumulated effect of several generations of young people who have not been under any discipline at all. And in the name of freedom, we have turned them loose too soon, and we are living with the sad result of our negligence. Paul Harvey expressed the conviction of many of us when he said these words. He said, I am against giving youth more freedom.
They have already about as much freedom as an unguided missile. Jesus didn't campaign for unlimited freedom. He bound himself to God's will. We need some Christian youth with direction and purpose and faith and dedication, and that is born in the home.
Sooner or later we have to decide that. Last I knew, parents were still supposed to be in control. And discipline is proper for every child. Notice the second proverb: discipline proves our love for our children. Proverbs 13:24 is known to most of you.
It says, He that spares the rod hates his son. But he who loves him disciplines him properly. Chastens him early, says the new King James. Do you remember your parents saying something like this? I'm going to discipline you and I want you to know that's because I love you.
Or maybe this sticks in your mind as it does mine. This hurts me more than it does you. That last statement seemed to always be reserved as an introductory remark before I was really going to get it. Isn't it interesting that the number one reason that parents give for not disciplining their children is because I don't want to spank them, I just love them too much. But in reality, when we refuse to discipline our children, we are demonstrating the exact opposite: that we do not love them, we do not love them enough.
To stand in the way of their making the kinds of mistakes that can multiply into the critical, life-threatening mistake. Dr. James Dobson, in his bestseller, Dare to Discipline, has written that the parent has got to convince himself. That discipline is not something he does to the child, but something he does for the child. The attitude toward the child must be, I love you too much to let you behave like that.
When you see parents letting their children run wild and not standing in the way of their disobedient behavior, do not make the false conclusion that they must really love their children a lot because they don't want to touch them. They don't love them enough. to stand in the way. of that which is destroying them and those around them.
So disciplined. Is a demonstration of your love for your children. How many of you know? That when the Father up above disciplines us, it's because he loves us. Amen.
Amen. We'll have more of this on the Friday edition of Turning Point. Tomorrow, I hope you'll be with us as we finish up our discussion of Proverbs for Parents. And we have uh several more of these. Powerful principle messages from the book of Proverbs coming up in the rest of the month of August.
I hope you will stay focused with us and allow this book to minister to your life. There is a study guide for this series recently revised, a beautiful study guide, and it will coordinate everything that I've been saying along with the material on the CDs that. Cover all of the audio messages. You can get this material from davidjeremiah.org. You should go to our website there and find everything that you're looking for.
And don't forget to ask for your copy of the book, God's Heart for Israel. Do it today. It's our way of saying thank you for your August gift, and it's yours for a gift of any size. When you ask for it, and we'll see you right here tomorrow. For more information on Dr.
Jeremiah's series, Powerful Principles from Proverbs, please visit our website where we also offer two free ways to help you stay connected: our monthly magazine, Turning Points, and our daily email devotional. Sign up today at davidjeremiah.org slash radio. That's davidjeremiah.org slash radio. Or call us at 800-947-1993. Ask for your copy of David's inspiring new book, God's Heart for Israel.
It's yours for a gift of any amount. You can also purchase the Jeremiah Study Bible in the English Standard New International and New King James Versions, complete with notes and articles from Dr. Jeremiah's decades of study. Get all the details when you visit our website, davidjeremiah.org/slash radio. This is David Michael Jeremiah.
Join us tomorrow as we continue powerful principles from Proverbs on Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah.
