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June 7, 2022 4:00 am
Considering are often focused on each other's appearance or their beauty. What personal attributes will endure with the physical beauty fades and how can we tell if those characteristics are genuine and an individual today on Truth for Life. Alister Meg concludes his practical advice on what to look for in a husband and wife is teaching from first Peter chapter 3 verses one through seven. What I would like to do is help you by suggesting what you should look for if you're planning on getting on and that if I have time I'll tell you what you should look for in a wife number one. What should I look for in a husband. The man should be committed to growing in his relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
Secondly, husband should be an individual of obvious integrity. Thirdly, you need to look for a husband who is able to lead boldly for you need to look for a husband who displays the ability to love sacrificially to love sacrificially see how the man who display self sacrificial. Did I mention, not a person who says why one of the things I like to mention to you is that I'm a very self-sacrificing no no no no, sorry, take that one off your resume. Self-sacrifice is detected in several ways that vary from person to person. For example, watching the end of an evening with friends to see if this character is quick to organize and spearhead the cleanup whether it is wait for everybody else to clean up, observe the way he relates to children and to strangers. See if he possesses a willingness to hold doors for passersby with full on watching his attitude to waitresses and other people who are involved in serving the public, and in these you begin to find out what you're dealing with 50 husband should be able to laugh partially. Humor is a vital element in preventing marital failure.
The ability to laugh, doesn't mean that he's the class clown or even a joke teller fighting maybe hopeless at telling jokes that may be the funniest part about it, but it is important that he likes to laugh and a T3 dilute fortis's willingness to laugh at himself and he takes himself too seriously. Lookouts listen carefully to and not necessarily when he's on show any tell us a story where someone else is obviously the hero when he comes off looking foolish when he laughs in the comic misfortunes of others is email to laugh without being crude and unkind things and cruel humor is vital its way up on the top of my list.
Sixthly, there are only six husband should model genuine humility, genuine humility keeps its focus on others. You need to watch and see if the other person can share the joy of a competitor success were chariots of fire, and in the fictitious scene that is created between the race between Eric Liddell and Abrams a race that never ever happened but was it was good for the story. Remember Eric false. And then when the Mandela's music kicks in that scores of monitoring itself again and eventually runs the victory and cuts from the victory to the bleachers and in the bleachers Abrams six and outcomes his girlfriend very pretty. Looking in all in white. As I remember with a large hat thing she sits down beside him and his Morales Monroe's system, one who came second said I don't want to come second and then he says if I can when I won't run to which she replies. If you don't run you can win if you find yourself in the company of somebody who cannot be an under study who can play second fiddle who's always going to be the theme of the story the joke of the party success of the event. I want to suggest to you girls.
You might want to take a long hard look at whether you're in the company of the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Okay here we go look for in a wife number one tall to one same as number one. For the husband is obviously good wife must've a person of faith and trust in the Lord Jesus. It is the basis for any and all of the other qualities on the list. I can't overstate for you the importance of ensuring that you don't enter into an intimate relationship where one person is a Christian and the other is not.
The Bible is clear don't get unequally your to be unequally yoked, is to be unable to pool together. That means that are too divergent standards to opposite goals to radically different interpretations of life to incompatible Masters to serve two contrary powers of work unbelief allied with belief in Jesus means just one thing, there can be no real intimacy in matters that really count the two cannot together because they are not truly together and so Paul commands believers to marry. First Corinthians 739 only in the Lord and in the course of pastoral ministry. I've watched and experienced empathetically the sadness of girls who got themselves way committed into something and felt unable to extricate themselves. They thought that they could evangelize them. They thought they could bring them around. I sat with them and said if he's not about to bow before your Savior. While he doesn't have your hand in marriage. You think he's going to do when you marry them all.
Yes, I'm sure you promise me that when we get married, and so on.
And I've had occasion just to sit and say to the girl.
You can either try now or you can try later. You can cry now because you've lost them, or you can try later because you've got the same is true for a fellow if he is going to anticipate anything other than a godly wife. Secondly, we need to look for a wife who possesses beauty that is deeper than the skin and I don't know of anyone who sets are defined as follows who is physically unattractive, but the importance of a gentle and quiet spirit is is almost unquantifiable.
A wise fellow looks for a woman who possesses a natural radiance rather than a glow that comes from a bottle. It is less important to find a woman as beauty comes from.
Time spent in front of a beauty parlor than from time spent in the presence of the Lord Jesus. I recall walking on the beach with the man who turned out to be my father-in-law and his daughter, one of four daughters was out swimming in the water in the on the shore that I was walking along with him and is released upon the spot where she was swimming she came out of the water and she walked towards us. She tossed her head back and are here, and he turned to me and he said what a beautiful girl inside and outside the insight is the key. The outsides is the bonus fairly. You need to look for a wife who is an initiative taken with an attitude of submission is simply parallels what we said previously about a man being a sacrificial leader, any wise fellow is looking for a woman with ideas, abilities, goals, plans, gifts, dreams all around of abilities that she brings to marriage because in entering into marriage in more areas that were prepared to admit we, as a husband's will be dependent upon their knowledge upon their insight upon their courage upon their faith upon their expertise. So when I hear a noise in the night downstairs.
I am very brave wife for which I'm thankful you may be the kind of guy that immediately runs on the stairs and takes care of it. I think I got it wakes her up and says, honey, there's a noise and after all these years, you know, so that means you dutifully gets out of bed takes me by the hand and we go down the stairs. The word submission is so frequently understood, is become a sensitive issue for many people it's not uncommon for girls to tell me that they're not going to say that part in their vows. Incidentally anyone it does, I tell them get married by somebody else is.
I'm not going to marry and that of course was over very well with the girls mother. But anyone who cares God's intended role for a wife is not to wait around for her husband's directives are somehow or another, she was paralyzed without you don't think that Adam and Eve in the garden.
He was sitting around with a bunch of flowers say what am I supposed to do with these.
And Adam said, what with the daffodils on the left of the juleps on the right and for the begonias over here behind know he said honey I don't what you do with flowers seldom be a day as a man when we do not have occasion to depend on multiple levels upon the wisdom, insight, initiative, grace, courage, faithfulness, integrity, skill of our lives. All of that said, it does not negate the fact that in the order of God's plan for marriage. The man is entrusted with the awesome responsibility of being held accountable as a leader in the home is therefore imperative that you do not fall into the clutches of bossy self, opinionated woman who you will see it in relationship to her father, you will see it in relationship to her peers.
You will see that she's unprepared to submit our heart and mind and our lifestyle ultimately to the clear teaching of the word of God. The roles of husband and wife in more ways than physically are not in the Scriptures, interchangeable and therefore certain expectations for the individual role of each other. Needs to be understood and worked out. Fourthly, I wife the kind for which we look should build her husband's confidence trustworthiness stems from character. A woman's intrinsic qualities are revealed by our actions. Girl knows the difference between dressing in a way that is attractive and dressing in a way that is deliberately seductive.
Girls know the difference.
So do we men if you find them dating a girl that it is clear from the way she carries herself that she enjoys the possibility of creating titillation in the minds of other man were around in the context whether the of the swimming pool whether it be the coffee shop, whatever it may be. Let that be to you a gigantic warning sign. It may be an opportunity for learning and growth may however be the occasion when you slip out the back. Jack and you get a new plans then and there's no need to be corduroy just get yourself free just hop on the bus. Gosnell need to discuss much.
That's actually from Paul Simon. There must be 50 ways to leave your lover, which of course I'm not suggesting to you but it just came to mind and I'm sorry tomorrow. I finished looking for a wife who displays kindness that touches others. Women don't have the exclusive ownership of the characteristic of kindness, but often they do a much better job in expressing compassion than most men would appear.
I don't think this devalues. Indeed, I think it exalts women to say that God is fashion them to be capable of special tenderness. Men are frequently intend on keeping moving. Let's get going.
Women are far more willing to stop in the cause of compassion and fight probably if you think about it. Women that have marked our lives have often marked our thinking on account of their tenderness and as our culture continues to promote effeminate men and masculine women as Christian people we must be prepared in the face of radical abuse and possibly persecution, to be unashamed and holding firm to the guidelines of Scripture when it comes to these things that were very very clear reasons for the Old Testament commands relating to the distinction between the sexes and actually we do well to prepare more attention to them that we are prone to do in an increasingly androgynous culture girls should look like girls and will always be their best when they do, and of course men should be like men it seems almost impossible that we have to say these things doesn't. Finally I wife like a husband should have a sense of humor that Braves adversity, the ability to laugh or get couples through more than a few rough spots. I think about Susan when she came to Scotland with me after we were married. First of all, I had no money. She had a little money that she saved. I took all her money and we use it to get back to Scotland. We sailed on wheat we cruise to London from the Port of New York don't get any illusions about how beautiful it was. It was horrendous. We were on a Russian sailing ship called the Michaela Lerman talk in 1986 in Zürich. I was reading the Herald Tribune with a doctor as we headed for Kenya together as we sat on the plane I saw tiny paragraph and said Russian motor vessel sinks off the coast of New Zealand.
I put my hand over it.
I said the Michaela Lerman cough and then I looked down and that's exactly what it was made to say that this thing was backward is an understatement. I couldn't use of your time describing how horrendous it was, as I usher my young bride lower and lower and lower into the belly of this cavernous thing and then finally into our state room where you had to go in and then step back and then let the second person in and then at that point you were here and so we are bunkbeds and neither of us have ever done drugs except on that particular 10 day voyage. I don't know what it was we took was a combination of anything that was available from the gift shop Dramamine and anything that went with it, and then a semicomatose state. We celebrated our marriage see on the top and me on the bottom and then me on the top. She on the bottom sailing American living leaving all those boys in Michigan behind leaving the whole thing things is that I send, and when we finally got to the apartment of the church should set aside for as in Edinburgh.
She said about the business of making the home. I told her that I had put together some furnishings which I had gone from a friend at college who was adapted picking up junk everywhere he went, and I didn't really know what day we put this fly stored furniture and I Gary generally I had picked up and brought to Edinburgh I was gone and the David arrived she was not, and she had the embarrassment of standing there as two elders from the church. These horrendous pieces of furniture. The back of this. They say equivalent of a you all and carried them up the stairs and I remember coming home to her was all maybe two or three days into this project and this this furniture. The weather was not too pieces that match it seriously was uglier than anything you could ever imagine. This stuff was bad with the B and in the evening I took it down the stairs and smashed it all the bits with a hatchet and put it out for the garbage to figure out the following morning getting my wife but a sense of humor. She better have and if you looking for a girl that can put up with your strange peculiarities you better look for one who can laugh as well because I've seen you and your pretty funny how when I go over to the dorms tonight and tomorrow night we dealing with the young man and other more personal questions are not going to engage in them now but I want to finish with a quote because there are people here tonight and you're saying I don't have a boyfriend I don't have a girlfriend. Frankly, I'm not planning on getting one anytime in the near future and I'm wondering whether it may be that singleness is my lot in life. Let me quote to you from one of my favorite singles. John Stott. What about our successes singles. We too must accept the Bible's teaching, however hard it may seem as being God's purpose both for us and for society, we shall not become a bundle of frustrations and inhibitions if we embrace God's standard, but only if we rebel against Christ yoke is easy, provided we submit to.
It is possible for human sexual energy to be redirected both into affectionate relationships with friends of both sexes and into the loving service of others alongside a natural loneliness, accompanied sometimes by acute pain. We can find joyful self-fulfillment in the self giving service of God and other people, chances are you will meet your mate in the next three or four years. Do not assume that a friendship has to be more than a friendship when it begins. Do you know how many people got married and they weren't even friends covenant before God that you will not add to the statistics, but God helping you. You will please him and singleness, or in marriage, living according to the principles of his word. Whether we are married or single, our lives bring glory and honor to God. We follow the instruction of his listing to Truth for Life with Alister. If you been enjoying these messages on marriage and singleness you want to get a copy of Alister's book titled lasting love. How to avoid marital failure. Just as he did in today's message Alister asks the question, what should you look for in a potential spouse looks or successor great personality. Alister describes the inward characteristics that ultimately contribute to a loving, lasting relationship before you enter into a marriage relationship. These are essential traits you want to consider request your copy of the book lasting love.
When you donate to Truth for Life today is a Truth for Life.org/donate or you can call us at 888-588-7884 this year at Parkside church. Alister is leading the congregation week by week through the new city catechism.
This is a collection of 52 questions and answers designed to guide believers through key truths from the Bible and today you can obtain a copy of this catechism. It comes in a flipbook format that you can stand on your kitchen counter on the table where you eat your meals for next to your computer on your desk. This item was extremely popular. We also did several years ago, you can view an image of the new city catechism and purchase copies of the flipbook email@example.com/school Bob Lapine the book of Genesis were told that God looked at Adam and said it is not good that man should be alone I will make a helper fit for so was the apostle Paul contradicting the Old Testament when he said it's good for a man not to marry. Tune in tomorrow to hear the answer. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life learning is prolific