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Relationships (Part 1 of 2)

Truth for Life / Alistair Begg
The Truth Network Radio
June 6, 2022 4:00 am

Relationships (Part 1 of 2)

Truth for Life / Alistair Begg

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June 6, 2022 4:00 am

Media frequently insinuates that our significance is directly related to our appearance. But how important are looks when it comes to choosing a spouse? Hear biblical advice about what to look for in relationships, on Truth For Life with Alistair Begg.



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Social media and TV commercials can make us feel like our significance is somehow related to our appearance. So when it comes to looking for a potential spouse how important are books today on Truth for Life.

Alistair Begg offers practical biblical advice about what to look for in a relationship that is more than even chance that whether you meet your intended life's partner in this institution are not. It may well be that in the next two or three years of your life you will in some context meet the person that will share your life with you providing that God has planned for you to be married and since the statistics on relationships and marriage are so horrendous, not least of all, within the framework of the Christian church.

It's important that we are constantly making reference to this in our own thinking planning accordingly so that we do our very very best. If God intends for us to be entrusted into the custody of another to come to that day and to that opportunity prepared and ready for the privileges and responsibilities. I just say certain things to you this evening when you think about relationships, et al. in every relationship.

Our relationship with God must come first, and indeed unless we have a meaningful viable increasing relationship with the Lord Jesus ourselves not being kept afloat by our family structure but our own personal walk with God practicing the presence of the Lord Jesus memorizing his word being in it daily, sharing it regularly, then we really should go no further than that. In terms of developing relationships because it is in direct relationship to our walk with Christ that everything else falls into line that is particularly so when we think about relationships with the opposite sex, and it is important that when we find ourselves in a context such as this where the opportunities for friendship are many and varied that we never assume that a friendship has to be more than a friendship when it begins. We should never assume that friendship is going to be more than friendship when it begins. And by the same token, we should recognize that the absence of a friendship with someone of the opposite sex does not determine our significance for our meaning in life. And indeed, if we do not have such a friendship we want to beware of anyone who would try and presses into the kind of friendship. Many who have done so have found themselves in dire straits. We need to recognize that there is no good thing that the Lord will withhold from those whose walk is blameless. If we are not involved in a dating relationship that we do not have a special other person. There is no need for panic. God makes everything beautiful in his time and to be unattached to someone of the opposite sex may actually be God's very best for you tonight. It may actually be in God's very best for you for always. But let us assume since the Bible related out of the normal pattern of life that each of you as yet is not married, is planning on being married, and therefore you're going to be faced with crucial decisions as you go forward you're going to have to decide where you're going to take advice and whether you're going to listen to those who love you most and care for you the best of all funeral relationships event any in life are neutral. You remember that from high school. There were people in his company was easy to be good. There were people in whose company was easy to be bad.

That is true not only of fraternal relationships, but it is definitely true with those of the opposite sex and when we make friends with the opposite sex. It is important that we take into account the way in which others view those friendship. I would go so far as to suggest you tonight that I believe in arranged marriages but I think I'm quite close to the idea because it is always struck me as very strange that our children grow up entirely dependent upon its they want to know whether they should attend this functional function whether they should apply to the school and school in the earlier days whether these shoes are right with these treasures or whether this card looks good with these heroes. Whether my hair looks good here. Moreover, there, whether you like this, run me now or then you're just dying under the weight of all the decisions that you have to make in order to help you chart your course and then all of a sudden out of the blue new show up at the front door on the arm of someone I don't even know called Rodney who is Rodney and then I see in your eyes.

This strange glaze Luger Zulu government. Rodney look in my eyes is not glaze et al. piercing. I want to know about Rodney who his dad was to his mom wants what sizes shoes are withering. She's assaulted Mike. I want to know everything about because as a father right here for my girl's and the same is true with our son that was my mother died when I was 21 of my sisters was 15. The other was 11 and so they go through their adolescent years without a mom, and certainly I could never be a mother but I found myself fulfilling a role that was not the normal role for an elder brother and I do far more interest in the friendships that my sisters were establishing and I think would be normal for the ordinary elder brother. Although I think it was a good pattern and I would recommend to every elder brother and there were occasions when there was tears and argumentation and the banging of bedroom doors. As I explained to my sisters this guy is a jerk you want to have nothing to do with them. I know who is seen them around. Get rid of them sent me roses is already put them in the garbage. Don't worry about and in the providence of God. I introduce both my sisters to the husband there both happily married one in Scotland one in England. I picked them out almost of course they like them to move that they've been living with while but if you find that in developing a friendship. It isolate you from your immediate circle of friends. If you find that this begins to isolate you from others and from Christ and from your family and you probably without question on the wrong track, and so it is imperative that in all of these things we come to the issue slowly with realistic expectations and without anticipating marriage in any of its aspect in the development of friendship.

So often I was that young people tell me what I know that once were married will be able to take care of that, whatever that is one I know that he's got a little problem there. I know she's a little difficult there, but we will be able to sort that out. Listen most people under dating relationships are on their best behavior and so you have to be very very careful.

You need to see this potential spouse in a variety of different situations.

For example, you need to see what he or she is like visiting a hospitalized loved one, you need to see what he is light in the way that he treats his mother and speaks to her and whether he looks into her eyes when she asked him a question you need to see what she's lying, playing with children in the street being around their parents with their regular friends participating in competitive sport's handling various stressful situations and the tragedy that I face as a pastor is in finding couples coming to me to be married and never seen each other in any of the situation they got kind of hurry up offense stirred by their emotions, fueled by their glands there ready to be Marion's very often they haven't decided, without actually marrying a person or whether there marrying a body, Western society is obsessed with externals and this puts tremendous pressure on our culture. Young women quickly assuming that their significance is directly related to their shade under their address signs young men frequently modeling themselves after professional athletes disappointed that their features are less-than-perfect and products offered from toothpaste to self tanning products with a cover message that image matters more than character image doesn't matter more than character. Therefore, it is vitally important when you think these issues through that you're asking yourself the question is the attraction that I feel this fellow is the attraction that I feel for this girl motivated primarily by physical instincts not want to suggest for a moment that that is some marginal consideration, but beauty is for all of us in the eye of the beholder. Mother may be shared perceptions but we often have very clear understandings of what we regard as lovely and so the more significant questions don't have to do with shape and size and structure but we need to be asking questions like do I enjoy having a conversation with her. Can this fellow carry on an intelligent conversation is this character as social miss this, he or she have a growing interest in spiritual things or do I get the impression that they are simply saying that because they know that it is important to me, my young friends tonight. Listen these questions get to issues that are enduring age takes its toll on all of us. Physical beauty is passing to invest in a person is simply a physical package is to set ourselves up for a dreadful fall because the package will begin to sag and will begin to group over time. The law of gravity is the law of gravity that is only so much you can do to keep it all where it needs to be some of us never needs to be in the first place.

So men most miserable when I came to America for the first time in 1972 I came in search of a girl I knew the girl trying to figure out of the crowd, but I tracked her down to Michigan to the shores of Michigan founder there amongst a bunch of young American fellows who had muscles in places that I didn't have places to grade skiing. Her bare feet didn't need two skis one ski season they skied in their bare feet. They gave me these gigantic on which to stand. Never telling me that if you don't get on the first time you let the role go my hair from the sweet baby James Ray wears a blue denim shirt find it in an old fashion store somewhere, but it was long and they drag me through the water like a dead dog much of their hilarity will get rid of this Cartesian whippersnapper hundred and 39 pounds soaking wet, ugly little creature that he is coming over here for our American then they took me on dirt bikes that with that decision on my part had an agency dealership or something and I arrived at a place that I don't know where it was final bikes.

The fellows got on the front. The girls were on the back and all the Michigan dunes. So I did what they did.

I got on the front the girl but on the back failed to call. I went about 100 yards an digit in the sand with my can bore you with the story. I dreadful hayfever the worst kind of hayfever produced renders nosebleeds. I ditch the bike in the sand. My nose began to bleed the hayfever began to go and give me a helmet of my hair was sticking out and once you sign why did I end up telling the many girl to drive the bike while I sat on the back and she rolled back around in the sand and they were all waiting for me. The all American Marine's and here he comes, peering over the shoulder of his girl possible. Did I I was unknowable now I have to go home across the Atlantic Ocean and leave this girl in the dirtbike and everything else behind. Sometimes we write in the car now all these years later I look across Saturn I say my mind my it certainly could have been physical. I actually met her when she was 13, I decided really quickly that if ever.

This girl would grow up around her eyes and I got a chance, I would marry her. Never ever wanted to marry anyone else from the age of 16 I wrote letters to for seven years. Four of those years across the Atlantic Ocean.

So for those of you are doing English. Never doubt the power of the pen all those American water skiers to the Scotsman's pen. So girls your beauty should be that which comes from. Time spent in front of a mirror, but rather time spent in front of the mirror of the word of God and men, the biggest thing that you can bring to the possibilities of marriage is the character of integrity in the life of spiritual maturity. What I would like to do in the remaining time that I have and I'm not sure how much I have is help you by suggesting what you should look for if you're planning on getting a husband is just my opinion.

There's nothing funny about this. Nothing surprising number one. What should I look for in a husband.

The man should be committed to is to growing in his relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Do not take on a fellow as a discipleship project. Don't take on a husband who is merely master Bible trivia look for a husband who is serious about growing in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Imagine that he's going to be in part, your shepherd and your guy that is going to be the spiritual leader of your that he is going to be the nurturer of your children together and think about that long and hard before you sell out for anything else. Secondly, husband should be an individual of obvious integrity. If he cheats on the golf course. Beware if you find him in an employee employer situation fudging the issue in his sales calls telling somebody that he can get the product to them in two weeks when he comes afterwards and tells you that actually knew that he couldn't get in there for four weeks, but he said that because he didn't want to lose the sale on the day he tells you that you need to have a long serious conversation with him and if he seeks to undergird his deceptiveness with argumentation, you should probably kiss them goodbye. No matter how some men try to justify their use of untruth. Those lines should serve as neon signs to prospective brides or makes you ever think that if a person would lie to a customer to a boss to a teacher to a parent wouldn't also lie to his wife.

You need a husband who is honest to the core to a fault. Thirdly, you need to look for a husband who is able to lead boldly to lead boldly.

Not everyone is going to marry the high school quarterback of the class president. That's not the kind of leadership to which I'm referring but every girl needs to look for the kind of man who can think for himself who can weigh options and who can make good decisions. No person always makes good decisions.

Everybody makes mistakes many times. Good leadership demands the willingness to acknowledge that I made a mistake and to turn around and make a second decision and thinking of a man who is able to lead boldly. We ought to say very quickly that a girl should never settle for leadership that is selfish, bombastic and domineering, the leadership of the Lord Jesus Christ the leadership as espoused by the apostles is a leadership that is marked by an attitude of servant who an attitude that submits to the leadership of others and that is of vital importance to the flip side of it, of course, is simply that young woman should be more than a little concerned if fellow that she's dating has to check with his mother all the time needed for my mom about that and always trying to decide is where you should buy the medium T-shirt and get you know you got a problem.

There and fight Wiley's choosing just slip off ever so quietly into the mall and don't ever come back and eat another. Where will the site between the medium in the Lodge in the navy blue T-shirt you got a problem.

Trust me, let somebody else fix it. Forget the project itself. Bad idea. You heard it from your uncle Allie were thinking about a prospective spouse strong in going personal relationship with Christ is the most important attribute. We should be striving for ourselves and we should be seeking a mothers listing to Truth for Life with uncle Allie with Alastair Bragg.

It is a privilege to study the Bible alongside you each day. On this program. All of the teaching from Truth for Life comes to you by way of your fellow listers. We called them truth, partners, partners or blisters like you who pray for this ministry and to give a monthly donation. Their support is what makes it possible for us to provide books at cost. In addition to unlimited access to Alistair's vast online sermon archive. So if you are one of her true partners. Thank you and if you have been benefiting from this list are funded ministry, but have yet to become a part of the team that supports it. Will you become a true partner today.

Easy to do. You can sign up online@truthforlife.org/true partner or call us at 88858878841 of the ways we show our gratitude for our true partners is by inviting you to request two books that we feature each month right now were recommending Alistair's book about marriage called lasting love. Every year there are millions of couples who pledged their lives to each other with wedding vows, but what exactly does that commitment mean in this book, lasting love, Alastair explores the sacred vows of marriage and outlines exactly what couples are signing up for when they say I request the book lasting love. When you become one of our partners. When you give a one time donation either of those things for life.org/donate Bob Lapine.

We all know what getting older does to our appearance. But what kind of traits will last into old age. How do we discern if those characteristics and someone else are genuine tomorrow. Alastair concludes his advice on what to look for in a husband or wife. The Bible teaching of Alastair Bragg is furnished by Truth for Life learning is prolific


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