Belonging (Part 2 of 3)

In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul explains that it is both a command and a privilege for us as believers to join a local church body. Although we have come to Christ individually, we do not live in Christ solitarily.

We have been born again to a living hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. And the second thing I want you to notice is that in the church, God has made a special provision for his children. A special provision for his children.

And that special provision is a local church. God has not only planned that we would be born into physical families, but he has planned that we would be born into a spiritual family. And when you're born into a physical family, you can't choose your relatives. Some of us would like to, and many of our own siblings would have dispensed with us a long time ago. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.

And the same is true in being placed in the body of Christ. So, Thanksgiving dinner will come around, and Aunt Mabel will show up again from Minnesota. She talks far too much. Everybody knows it. Uncle Leonard doesn't usually come, but when he comes he's absolutely morose. Trying to get a smile out of him is like getting blood out of a stone.

Freda—nobody really knows who Freda is, but she exaggerates dreadfully, and Tommy sees every glass half-empty. But they're family. And therefore, we bear with one another. And so it is in the church family. Now, I know that Bill and Gloria Gaither wrote the song, I'm So Glad That You're Part of the Family of God. But for a long time here, we haven't sung that, and we haven't sung it because I've destroyed it for you for all time. By suggesting to you that it would be far better if it were written, I'm surprised that you're part of the family of God. That would be far more honest, wouldn't it?

Starting with ourselves. You look into the mirror of God's Word, and you ought to be surprised that he has included you in his family, aren't you? I hope you are. You know all the things I've ever done. But your blood has canceled everyone.

Oh Lord, such grace to qualify me as your own! I'm surprised! Now, you're supposed to only be surprised about yourself. You're not supposed to be as surprised about your brothers and sisters. And when people get surprised about their brothers and sisters—in my experience here, in the land of the free and the home of the brave—people just take their baseball bat and head down the street for another diamond. That's the way it goes.

Oh! Don't like it here anymore. Going down to another diamond with my bat. I'm going to take my tennis racket. I'm going to go find another club. You would do that in your family?

Just because of freedom? No, you don't do that. Oh, you may go in the huff for a little while. You go up the stairs, close your door, ruminate about everything, describe your sisters in horrendous terms, plan your exit strategy. I'll run away from home. I'll build one of those things like huckleberry thin. That's what I'm going to do. I used to read Mark Twain when I was a boy, and when I got in my blues, then I'd say, I'll get one of those handkerchiefs, and I'll tie it to the end of a stick, and I'll put everything in there, and then I'll go off on my raft.

How am I going to go down the Mississippi when I live in Glasgow, Scotland? It's absolutely impossible. And as I sat in my bedroom for long enough, I realized, beg, your biggest problem is you. You are your own biggest problem. Go back down the stairs and say, Sorry. Go back down the stairs and say, Forgive me. Go back down the stairs and say, I am a flat-out idiot.

Now go on! And that's what we have to do. And that way we repair and restore family relationships, don't we? Some of you are here, and you haven't done that. You didn't go back down the stairs. You never wrote the note.

You never said the sorry. And as you sit and listen to me now, it's like a dagger in your heart, because you've been distanced from a physical family member for years without any reconciliation and restoration. And you know, and they know, that it's wrong. You ought to take care of it. Love always takes the initiative. Love always takes the initiative.

But when I regard myself as the offended one, especially within the family of faith, especially when the options are so many, then the temptation is simply to quit, to run and hide, to keep the discussion going. Well, I don't recommend that. I don't recommend it. Think of what I'm saying. Do I have to keep on talking till I can go on? Think of what I'm saying. We can work it out. Life is very short. And there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friends.

I've always thought that it's a crime, so I will ask you once again. Think of what I'm saying. But here's the rub. What happens in the nuclear family is imported into the church. So fifty percent of marriages go down the Swanee River. Those people are then in the church, and as soon as Mabel didn't get her just desserts, she headed for the hills of Alabama. And now she's happily settled in a little church family in Alabama. And suddenly, she doesn't get what she expected in the church family in Alabama, so she's gonna do the same thing in the church as she did in her marriage.

Think of what I'm saying. We can get it right. The special provision of God for his people in terms of belonging is a local fellowship. Because it's in this kind of context that we're able to work these things out. It's in this kind of context that, for example, we can try and make sense of a word like fellowship. What is fellowship?

It's such a cliche, isn't it? People say, Well, we're having a time of fellowship. That can mean we're eating pizza, we have a coffee pot in the middle of the room, we're gonna dance around it, or whatever it might mean. It's a loosely applied word to any kind of gathering. But in actual fact, it is a word from classical Greek. And in classical Greek, it was used of a business partnership where individuals committed themselves to one another to share in the risks and to share in the profits. It was used classically of marriage, where a husband and wife committed themselves to one another to share everything. And the church comes along and says, What's the best possible word that we can use to explain what it means to be in relationship to one another? And they said, How about the word koinonia? How about this word?

And that's exactly what they picked up to use. It's not the only word, but it is one of them. And the emphasis that they sought to bear was the primary thought of generous sharing rather than of selfish getting. That the nature of Christian fellowship is directly related to our coming primarily to give rather than to receive.

Ask not what your church can do for you, but ask what you can do for your church. This word actually doesn't appear until Acts chapter 2. It doesn't appear in the Gospels at all. But once the community of God becomes the Spirit-filled church of Christ on Pentecost—and following the preaching of Peter, remember, and he preached, and three thousand people believed and were added to the church—what did that mean? Well, they were added to the invisible church. And then, having been placed in Christ and into that invisible body, they said, We better make sure that we are committed at the local and visible level.

And that's why you read in Acts chapter 2 and 42, and they devoted themselves to the apostles' instruction, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and so on. You see, it is in the body of Christ that we have an opportunity to display to the world that we're not committed to some principle of homogeneity, that we're not here as a student group, all between the ages of eighteen and twenty-three. There's a period in life where that goes. You go away to school, and everybody's the same age, apart from the professors. And you're in that, and you think it's fantastic for a while, and then you find yourself saying, I'd like to meet some older people. I'd like to get a decent meal. I'd like to find somebody like my mother, although not my mother.

I miss my dad and so on, and I miss all of these other elements. And you say to yourself eventually, in your university career, I'll be glad to get out of here and into the broader dimension of life itself. It is only, you see, when people are prepared to commit themselves to a local fellowship that they then have the opportunity to mix with ages that they wouldn't otherwise mix with. So you have somebody who's eighty-six, and you have someone who is sixteen. And the person who is sixteen is looking and saying, How terribly strange to be like that! And the person who is eighty-six wants to put his arm around the young fellow and say, You know, I was sixteen?

Seventy years ago! And the fellow says, What was it like to be sixteen seventy years ago? And the story unfolds. How are we going to get people from different backgrounds and different intellectual levels and different social strata and different colors and different creeds and everything else? How are they all going to be together?

They're going to be together in the visible body. And it is only as you commit yourself to that that you throw yourself into that great mixture. And that was my problem with my three friends. And what I pointed out to them in the end was, you guys are committed to an ideal that you can control. You only want to be with people who look like you, have the same money as you, and are prepared to reinforce the principles, your strong political economic principles.

I don't know if I care in the world about your principles or whatever else it is, but I think you're flat-out wrong. Because you are not allowed to control who it is you relate to unless you absent yourself from the family. But once you are in the family, then you gotta deal with Tommy, you gotta deal with Freda, you gotta deal with Aunt Mabel and everybody else. And aggressive American individualism says, I don't want to deal with Freda and Tommy and everybody else. I didn't work as hard as I am today to get myself in the elite access line and get access to every club in America to sit around with Tommy and Freda in something in some communion service. I mean, that's a crass way of stating it, but that's exactly what it's saying.

Hence the challenge. You see, when it says—well, you take the one-another passages of the New Testament. For example, you're to encourage one another to love and good works.

Who's the one another? In the invisible church. Or, if you're isolated from the church, you go choose your one another. I'd like to encourage you to love and good works, because I like you, and you don't threaten me, and, Frank, you're a lot like me, and I can kind of control this relationship.

Well, sure, but that's not the way the New Testament sets it out. And to care for one another. Well, I want to care for who I want to care for. I don't want to have to care for somebody who's on this prayer list. I don't know who that person is.

So what do you got run over by a motorbike or whatever else it is? What is that about? You see, you can just get up and walk out the door and say, I don't know who it is. Is it somebody? Is it a member or something? I don't know. I don't know. I got nothing to do with it, really. I just go. The fellow talks.

Sometimes the songs are good, sometimes they're fantastic, and I just get out and get on with my life. You see, it is not only in the body that we deal with fellowship, but it is also there that we deal with instruction. And I'll just say a word about this. How are we to learn the Bible? Well, we read it ourselves, and we have those who help us with it. Jesus sent his disciples out. Remember, he said, Go into all the world and make disciples and baptize them and teach them to obey everything that I've commanded you. And he then, in turn, the ascended Christ, gave gifts to the church—Ephesians chapter 4—and one of the gifts that he gave to the church was pastors and teachers. You can read all that for yourself—Ephesians 4. And these pastors and teachers are supposed to be set apart to labor in the Word and in doctrine, and these pastor-teachers, along with their fellow elders, who don't all teach in the public forum, but together they are watching over the flock as men who must give an account. Therefore, every word that is spoken, every exhortation that is given, is given in the awareness that God will keep a record of what is said and will hold to account those whose mouths have been opened most. And the purpose of God in relationship to instruction is that in terms of Ephesians 4, 11, and 12, the pastors and teachers are to edify the saints—the word is oikodomia, it means to build up the saints—they are to instruct them to encourage them to build them up so that those saints may then do the works of ministry.

So it is not that there is a clericalism that holds ministry to itself in the hands of a few, but it is that within the framework of the local church, God has purposed that the instruction should come in such a way that people are saying to one another, You know, I can be involved in this. I may have a part in that. I haven't really been able to discover much of what I can do. But, you know, the question of the recreation for the VBS, I think I can do that. Well, my dear friend, it's not just going to be about recreation.

Recreation may be the mechanism. But you're going to be in the company of all these dear youngsters. Their parents are going to be coming, picking them up as the time ends at noon. And the parents are going to get in the car, and they're going to drive home, and they're going to be saying to themselves, especially at the young church parents, I wonder why it is that that lady—because she seemed to be about my age, the lady says to herself—I wonder why it is that she was running around there in the drizzle and getting her shoes all messy. If I see her tomorrow, I might ask her.

And then, of course, you could tell her. Our time's gone. We'll come back to it.

But let me just take you one further. The special provision of God within the local body is the context not only for fellowship and for instruction but also for discipline. You see, the local church is the only place, the only proper place, for discipline. Discipline should take place in the house. There's nothing more embarrassing than spending time in a family that is undisciplined. No table manners, no respect for mom and dad, no waiting on each other, language that is unkind and untrue and unhelpful, and it all goes around, and you sit in the house, and it is absolute chaos. And you say to yourself, Why doesn't Dad do something here?

Why doesn't somebody exercise some kind of restraint or some kind of intervention? I hate to use my three friends as the illustration. Don't anybody ever send this to them, or they won't be my friends anymore.

I'll never golf with them again. But one of their great concerns was church discipline. I said, Why would you be concerned about church discipline? Why are you afraid? These guys are good.

These ladies are fine. You don't ever have to be afraid. What's your problem with church discipline? Well, I don't want anybody interfering in my life. I don't want anybody coming telling me anything.

I don't want to be able to— Yeah, I understand. But you're flat out wrong. And these same guys that don't want no discipline in the local church are on committees of really nice golf clubs all across the Midwest. Do you think they understand about rules and regulations and dress codes and the length of your shorts? Hey, off the course!

You're missing by three-eighths of an inch. Disgusting! Two more times, and you're out of the membership.

What are you talking about? I'm talking about rules, that's what I'm talking about. Chuck Colson, in his book The Body and With This I Stop, he says, No one should expect to join a church, which after all involves a free decision, and then refuse to accept its authority. For failing to attend a few meetings, one can be thrown out of the Rotary Club. For failing to live up to a particular dress code, one can be dismissed from most private clubs.

For failing to perform the required community service, one can be thrown out of the Junior League. Yet when the church imposes discipline, denying the benefits of membership to those who flout its standards, it is charged with everything short of and sometimes including fascism. But shouldn't the church have at least the same right to set its standards as the Rotary Club?

People who don't like it can and should go elsewhere. Oh, you know I'd never say anything like that. The people joining the church say, I want you to pastor me, I want you to care for me, I want you to discipline me, I want you to help me. I'm coming in here because I want to be in an exercise program, I'm joining a spiritual gym, I want you to exhort me and encourage me and keep me on track, and if you see me eating seven hundred donuts, then I want you to say, You know, you might want to back that off to just six hundred and fifty donuts, because I don't want to be going down the road like this. Could you please help me with all of that?

Yeah, we'll help you with all of that. Hey, hey, hey, watch the donuts. Don't tell me what to do with donuts. I am my own person.

I do my own thing. No, you asked me to help you with the donuts. That was three months ago. I cared about donuts then.

I don't care about them now. Excuse me, you are not about to leave your husband. Yes, I am. No, you're not. Well, who do you think you are? I'm your brother in Christ. Yeah, well, I don't want to hear from you. I know you don't. But I'm your brother in Christ.

I'm your sister in the Lord. Let me tell you, you are walking into a rat's nest. Let me tell you, you are going to make a fool of yourself. Let me tell you, you're going to destroy your family. Let me tell you, this is idiocy.

Let me tell you, this is wrong. Dear Alistair, as of this minute, please remove me from membership at Parkside Church. Well, with that, we'll push pause and return next weekend to part three of a message titled Belonging from our series called Christian Basics.

You're listening to Truth for Life Weekend with Alistair Begg. Be sure to keep listening because Alistair will be back in just a minute to close with prayer. Today's message shows that here at Truth for Life we don't shy away from teaching about difficult parts of the Bible. That's because, as the Apostle Paul says, all Scripture is God-breathed and it's profitable for teaching. It's our pattern to teach verse by verse directly from the Bible, knowing that the biblical text is without error.

In fact, it is the authoritative word of God and it is sufficient for all we need in life. You may even hear Alistair begin our program with the phrase, I invite you to open your Bible. And the reason is because our mission at Truth for Life is to teach the Bible clearly and in a way that applies to our daily lives. Most importantly, we do this with the assurance that God will work in the lives of many who listen to bring them to saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

We also choose to recommend books to supplement the teaching you hear on this program. We're currently recommending a book titled An Ocean of Grace. Early on in this book, pastor and author Tim Chester mentions how important it is for us to turn from distractions and to fix our gaze on Jesus. He also explains that the Christian season of Lent provides us with a special opportunity to focus on the death and resurrection of Christ. So this six-week devotional is designed to do just that, for each day Tim has selected a writing or a prayer from a well-known historical author, people like Augustine or Martin Luther, all on the topic of Jesus' death and resurrection. What's most remarkable about An Ocean of Grace is that since these authors lived centuries ago, their insights on the saving power of the cross will strike you in maybe a unique way.

They will renew your thinking and engage your imagination about the life-changing events that took place long ago. Learn how to request An Ocean of Grace today by tapping on the image on the mobile app or by visiting truthforlife.org. Again, that's truthforlife.org. But don't delay. This is the final weekend. This information will be available. Now here is Alistair to close in prayer. Father, thank you for the Bible. Thank you for the clarity with which it speaks. Any confusion is on my part.

Save us from error in understanding and in application. But help us to be ruthless in taking the principles of your Word as it relates to belonging to your people in such a way that our homes and our hearts and our families and our relationships are guarded and kept by your amazing love. And may the grace of the Lord Jesus, the love of God our Father, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit go with us into the hours of this day and the days of this week and forevermore. Amen.

I'm Bob Lapine. Thanks for listening. Be sure to join us again next weekend for the conclusion of a message titled Belonging from the Christian Basics series. We're learning about the characteristics of a biblically sound church. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life, where the Learning is for Living.