Today on the verdict with Pastor John Monroe. We're trying to understand and dealing with an ancient Hebrew text in a cultural setting with customs. And practices vastly different from our own. We're going to be reading from the first nine verses of Ruth 3, because the book of Ruth is, among other things, a love story. Yes, there is romance.
in the Bible. Our subject is a marriage proposal. Welcome to the verdict. The Bible teaching of Pastor John Monroe, senior pastor of Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. Too many of our relationships end up in failure and dysfunction.
God made us for relationship, so what are we missing? Rather than looking to the latest book or research study, Pastor John Monroe points us to the very relevant and practical biblical guidance from the unusual romance we find in the Book of Ruth.
So here's Pastor John Monroe. Over the last several days, we've been looking at the Book of Ruth. which among other things is a love story. Yes, there is romance in the Bible. Does that surprise you?
In fact, today we're going to learn about a marriage proposal.
Now, we must remember that this is a culture far removed from marriage in the 21st century. There are some strange practices, such as leveret marriage and the law of a kinsman redeemer. which we will discuss later so that we can understand the context. But There is much that we can learn. and apply to our own lives.
We will certainly see the importance of obtaining the counsel of others as we develop relationships which may lead to marriage. Turn with me in your Bible.
So Ruth chapter 3. as we reach another turning point in the life of Ruth. God made us as relational beings. To Love and to be loved. And without exception, all of us here seek love.
and acceptance, intimacy. and meaningful and significant relationships. The glossy magazines and the T V shows are full of articles and pictures and stories about people so-called falling in and out of love'. Romance and love and relationships dominate music, poetry, the arts. Theater.
Movies. Yet the reality is that for many people Their pursuit of love and meaningful relationships results in heartache. confusion. disillusionment. and even despair.
And why is there so much failure and dysfunction in our relationships? And why is it so difficult for many people To experience this wonderful capacity of loving and of being loved. Could it be? That we're not following. our creators.
design. Love, romance, and meaningful relationships are gifts from our great God. Who has made us with these deep longings for love and intimacy, deep longings. which can only be satisfied As we Pursue The divine design. We are studying Ruth chapter three Let's open our Bibles there as we wind our way through this little book.
To Ruth chapter 3. In a sense, I don't choose the message, but it's chosen for me as we are following the book of Ruth. And we'll find great guidance in this chapter. We'll think again in this chapter next week. But this morning, we're going to be reading from the first nine verses of Ruth 3, because the book of Ruth is, among other things, a love story.
Yes, there is romance in the Bible. Our subject is a marriage. proposal Ruth three then, verse one. Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, That's Ruth, my daughter. Shall I not seek security for you, that it may be well with you?
And now is not Boas our kinsman with whose maids you were? Behold, he winnows barley at the threshing floor tonight. Wash yourself, therefore, and anoint yourself, and put on your best clothes, and come down to the threshing floor. But do not make yourself known to the man until he's finished eating and drinking. And it shall be when he lies down.
That you shall notice the place where he lies, and you shall go and uncover his feet and lie down. And then he will tell you. What you shall do. And she said to her, All that you say, I will do.
So she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law had commanded her. When Boas had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. And she came secretly and uncovered his feet and lay down. And it happened in the middle of the night that the man was startled and bent forward, and behold, a woman was lying at his feet. And he said, Who are you?
And she answered, I am Ruth, your maid.
So spread your covering over your maid. for you are a close Relative, you are a kinsman.
Now as we read these verses, let me say right at the beginning that this passage is not to be regarded as a model for proposing marriage. For the avoidance of all doubt, I want to make it clear that I'm not advocating young women. Get in their cars and drive up to the men's dorm at UNC and cover men's feet while they're sleeping and propose marriage. Don't take that from this passage. Seriously, we're trying to understand and dealing with an ancient Hebrew text.
in a cultural setting with customs and and practices vastly different from our own. If you've ever attended a wedding in another country, as I have, you will know That customs relating to dating, to romance and marriage, are very, very different in different countries and different cultures. And certainly, the situation here 3,000 years ago in ancient Israel is far removed from what we are used to today. And to understand this chapter, we need to discuss a couple of customs that were practiced in ancient Israel. First of all, the law of leveret marriage.
You say, What on earth was that?
Well, turn back in your Bible to Deuteronomy chapter 25. That's why I encourage you to come. with your Bible. I know it's fashionable to put a couple of verses up on a screen nowadays, but I think it's important that we are familiar with our Bible, that we turn to it, that we see it, and in this way you get familiar with your Bible, because I trust you're reading it not just in church. but in your home and with your family.
Deuteronomy twenty-five, verse five. When brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the deceased shall not be married outside the family to a strange man. Her husband's brother shall go into her and take her to himself as a wife. and perform the duty of a husband's brother to her. And it shall be that the firstborn whom she bears shall assume the name of his dead brother.
that his name may not be blotted out from Israel. That is, if a man dies without being succeeded by any children, it was important in ancient Israel that his name and his inheritance not be lost.
So the brother of the deceased was to marry the widow, and through this widow, raise children for the deceased brother to keep the man's name and inheritance alive.
Now it wasn't an absolute obligation on a surviving brother. The surviving brother could opt out of the situation if he wanted. I'll leave you to think of some of the reasons. But he had that option. But this law applied to brothers of the deceased, but it seemed that the practice in Israel, certainly at the time of the Book of Ruth, included other Close relatives.
A close relative or a kinsman, as it's sometimes translated, could marry the widow and raise a family in the name of the deceased husband.
So leveret marriage was to preserve the continuity of the family line. In our story, Boaz is a close relative. He's a kinsman. That's emphasized in the text in Ruth. He is related to Elimelech, Naomi's deceased husband, and Ruth's father-in-law.
Remember, Naomi had two sons. Both of them died. Both of them Leaving no children. And so that's the law of leveret marriage. But secondly, we need to understand the law of the kinsman redeemer, the goel.
Let me ask you to turn to Leviticus 25. That's the third. book in the Old Testament, Leviticus twenty five Verse twenty three. I hope you find this interesting. We need to understand that if we're going to make sense of our story.
Leviticus 25. There's Twenty Three. The land, moreover, shall not be sold permanently, for the land is mine. For you are but aliens and sojourners with me. Thus, for every piece of your property, you are to provide for the redemption of the land.
If a fellow countryman of yours becomes so poor, he has to sell part of his property, then his nearest kinsman. His close relative, his goal, is to come and buy back what his relatives have sold. Or in case a man has no kinsmen, but so recovers his means as to find sufficient for its redemption, then he shall calculate the years since its sale and refund the balance to the man to whom he sold it, and so return to his Property.
Now, there are many provisions relating to the law of kinsmen redeemer, but the essence of the concept is that it was designed to protect. And care for members of a family who were in difficult financial circumstances. Naomi is a widow. She is poor, as she's returned from Moab. To Bethlehem.
And in order to survive, she would probably have to sell her land, the land which belonged to her husband Ilimelech. If she sold the land, the land would then pass out of her family.
Now, in our mobile society, that perhaps isn't particularly serious, but you've got to remember: ancient Israel was an agrarian society. Land The ownership of land and your inheritance was very, very important. People wanted to pass on the land to their children, to their grandchildren, and so on. Also, under the Mosaic covenant, Possession of land was an evidence of the blessing of the Lord.
So in these circumstances, the kinsman, redeemer, the goel, the close relative could come and redeem the land so it would stay in the same family. And we're going to see this happening, in fact, in chapter four. It was a law, a gracious law, a compassionate provision aimed at protecting the poor and the vulnerable.
So remember that Naomi and Ruth are returning to Bethlehem as destitute widows. Their husbands are dead, they have no children. It seems as if the family name is going to be wiped out. we have as we've dedicated children, we know the importance of family and of names and of continuing the inheritance. But God and His providence Is taking care of these two widows in a beautiful way.
God is at work. The invisible hand of God is at work. There is Boas, this close relative, this kinsman redeemer, who is in fact, as we're going to see in later weeks, a picture of our Lord Jesus Christ. And he's going to come to the help of these destitute widows.
Now, while this text is strange to us, I think we'll find that there are lessons very helpful to us. First of all, we see in the verses that we read that Ruth follows Naomi's strategy. Naomi sketches out the strategy that Ruth, her daughter in law, is to follow. We see in chapter 2, verse 23, that Ruth had gleaned until the end of the barley harvest and the wheat harvest. It is about seven weeks from the barley harvest through the wheat harvest, and so Ruth and Boas had time to get to know each other during that seven week period.
In Chapter two, Ruth takes the initiative to go to work. But now in chapter three, Naomi, the older widow, takes the initiative. It was the custom in that culture for the mother-in-law to help the widowed daughter-in-law to remarry. Boaz already knows Ruth. Boaz is a kinsman to them.
Boaz is an obvious choice. to help. and to marry Ruth.
Now it isn't clear from the text whether Naomi is acting prematurely with her strategy. We could ask, is she acting wisely or is she placing Ruth in a potentially compromising situation? The grain has now been harvested and it's winnowing time. Winnowing was usually done in the evening to take advantage of the prevailing west wind just before sunset. The grain is thrown up into the air, the husk, the chaff is blown away and the grain falls to the ground.
This is what is happening. Naomi tells Ruth to take a bath, to put on perfume, to put on her best clothes, and go to the threshing floor. There's a lot of people going to be there, and Ruth is to go initially incognito. After the threshing for the evening is over and Boz goes to sleep, Ruth is, according to verse 4, to uncover his feet and lie down. And says Naomi, Boaz will take it from there.
You can feel the tension and the suspense as Ruth leaves the home and heads for the threshing floor. What will happen next? Ruth's action. Ruth has a deep respect and the love for her mother in law. Do you notice what she says in verse five?
All that you say, I will do. There's a submissive attitude of this young widow to her mother-in-law. You see, in matters of relationship and in matters of marriage, it is important that we follow the counsel of godly people.
Sometimes a young man or a young woman who has a romantic interest in another person takes no counsel. driven by adrenaline driven by infatuation and the thrill of the chase, He or she sometimes ignores godly. Council. None of us should have such a high opinion of ourselves that we don't listen to others. Here, Ruth is listening to and following the directions of Naomi.
Now the reference to Ruth putting on her best clothes in verse three may also indicate that Ruth is putting away her clothes of mourning. Remember, Ruth is a widow. I remember When I was a teenager and my grandfather died, the custom then in the north of Scotland, I think it's changed now, was that the widow, not only dressed in black for the funeral, but dressed in black for several weeks. in fact sometimes months, in fact sometimes years after the death. And you knew this individual was a widow because she was dressed in a certain way.
Just as in our culture, When a spouse dies, the widow or the widower may keep his or her wedding ring on for some time. But I've known widows who come to me, godly widows, and have said, Pastor. I think it's time to take the wedding ring off. That's a difficult thing to do, but in a sense, it's saying I am now open, possibly, to remarriage. And I think this is what is happening.
Here is a turning point in Ruth's life. God In His grace, maybe giving her an opportunity. to remarry. She therefore is to take time to make herself attractive. Can I say in incidentally that dowdiness is not next to godliness?
Being feminine, I think, means, among other things, that women take care of their appearance, their hair and their clothes. At least this is what Ruth is doing. Of course we know the heart is the most important. 1 Peter 3 tells us that. But this doesn't mean that there's any virtue in a woman looking as if she's been d dragged backwards through a hedge.
Not at all. That is very different. from dressing in a seductive or in a cheap manner. Notice what the text describes Ruth in verse 11. Boa says, You are a woman of excellence.
No, this is a godly excellence. Woman. Once prepared, Ruth goes to the threshing floor and follows Naomi's instructions, verse six. She went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law had commanded her. After a hard day's work, Boas and the rest of the men are there.
They eat, they drink in a harvest festival. And they sleep in the barn. There'll be a lot of people there, presumably to protect their crop from wild animals or from thieves. And at this point, apparently in the story, Boaz is unaware of Ruth's presence. Once Boaz is asleep, verse 7, Ruth comes secretly and uncovers his feet and lies down.
Now, this is not, however it may appear in our culture, this is not a suggestive or a sexual or seductive behavior by Ruth, not at all. She's a woman of excellence. She's a godly woman. Ruth is a woman whose trust is in the Lord. But we can imagine how startled Boaz is when he wakes up in the middle of the night to realize that a woman is lying beside him.
Naomi has instructed Ruth to wait. until Boas tells her what to do. But Ruth shows some initiative here, not necessarily a bad thing. And she says in verse nine I am Ruth Your Maid.
So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative. Just think how that scene would have turned out if Boas had been an unscrupulous, immoral man. Here is a vulnerable foreign woman. at his feet in the middle of the night. But Ruth's trust is in the Lord.
And Boas has his trust in the Lord, he also is a man. of God.
Now let's look at our answer a little closer, verse nine. Spread your covering. Over your maid is an idiom for a proposal of marriage. We see that in Ezekiel 16, verse 8. Ruth reminds Boaz that he is a close relative, he is a kinsman redeemer, the NIV says.
Ruth is saying to Boaz that he is the one who can redeem the inheritance if he so desires, and that she is willing to be his wife. And the reason why Boas hadn't proposed to this point may have thought, if we look at verse 10. That Ruth would possibly have wanted to marry one of the younger bachelors. He apparently is a bit older than Ruth. Also, he knows that there is a nearer kinsman, there is a closer relative than Boz, there is another man who may have an interest in Ruth and may have an interest in redeeming the land.
But Boaz and Ruth are not acting in any improper, immoral or sexual way. She talks in verse nine of a covering or a skirt or a cover. You go back to chapter two, verse twelve, one of the key verses of the book of Ruth, you see the similar word. Remember, Boaz says to Ruth in chapter 2, verse 12, May the Lord reward your work and your wages be full from the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings, same word, under whose cover, under whose skirt you've come to seek. refuge.
Isn't it interesting that Ruth is saying I'm under the wings of the Lord. But now I am putting myself under the wing, under the protection, under the covering of Boas. This is a subtle proposal of marriage, based on their mutual trust in the Lord, under whose wings, under whose covering they are both trusting. Block, the commentator says, the gesture of a man covering a woman with his garment was a symbolic act which, according to Near Eastern custom, signified the establishment of a new relationship and a symbolic declaration of the husband to provide for the sustenance of the future woman. Life.
Boas understands clearly that Ruth is willing to be his wife. This is a request. for leverage. Marriage.
Now, for how the story proceeds, come back next Sunday. This is more exciting than any soap opera, isn't it? We're gonna leave them there at the moment. And to pick up the story next week, Lord willing. But let me suggest to you three lessons Three lessons in relationships.
Number one, which we've seen follow Godly Council. in matters of relationships, in matters of dating and certainly in matters of marriage, follow godly counsel. Ruth three is an example of a younger woman, Ruth, following the wise counsel of a godly woman, Naomi. Parents, family members and friends have important input in your choice of a husband or wife.
Now, I realize they're not infallible. I realize they can be prejudiced. But listen to their advice, particularly if they're strong Christians. They are acting in your best interest. When it comes to matters of the heart, taking advice, particularly when it's contrary to what we want to hear, is very difficult, isn't it?
But learn to listen. to the godly Council. of Christian parents. If you have Christian parents. Spiritual friends.
spiritual leaders. who give you Godly. advice.
Now parents, This is not a mandate to control your children. or to be so obsessive or to think that no one is good enough for little Johnny or little Susie. Don't try to manipulate your children when it comes to these relationships. That is a recipe for disaster. Your primary focus as a Christian parent and a Christian friend should be to pray for them.
and to guide them, not control them. to guide them in making spiritual decisions. Your personal likes and dislikes are not the issue. But here's a question for all of us. Am I the kind of person who seeks counsel from others.
Or do I simply follow my own desires? particularly in terms of relationships. Do you look for counsel for input from others Or are you so bullheaded and so focused, you say, This is what I must do, and I really don't care about anyone else? That's not Ruth. That's not borrows.
Yeah. This is the verdict with Pastor John Monroe. And today's message from the book of Ruth is titled A Marriage Proposal. We'll continue tomorrow, but remember you can always find these daily messages available on our website. at the verdict.org.
And to go along with our study of Ruth, we're excited to offer you a free copy of the helpful listening guide John has put together for this series. This printable workbook is specially created to walk you through each of these lessons. and you can follow along as we study the Book of Ruth together. John's keynotes, questions, and personal prompts for application will help you apply these daily lessons and better connect them with your own life today.
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Now. Here's Pastor John Monroe.
Well, what's your verdict? Isn't this a fascinating story? And as we read, we're finding important principles for our relationships. This is an area where there's tremendous failure. Therefore it is important that we obtain counsel from others.
Are you someone who listens to the counsel of others? In your life, And certainly in your relationships, make sure That you're not leaning on your own understanding, but are trusting the Lord that He will make your path straight. Join me next time. as we learn three lessons to guide us in our relationships. Thanks for joining us today on The Verdict.
I'm Michelle Davies. Today's program with Pastor John Monroe was produced and sponsored by Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. Mm.
