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Now, on with the show. Good lord, do I love being right around here? This is the Rich Eisen Show. Touchdown, AJ Brown. Live from the Rich Eisen Show studio in Los Angeles.
Relax. And that's what the Eagles did. The pieces are still there. Earlier on the show. Fox Sports NFL analyst Mark Schlareth.
Coming up. Comedian Frank Caliendo. Comedian Charlie Barrens. And now, it's Rich Eisen. Hour number two of the Rich Isen Show is on the air.
We put week 15 to bed talking about the Monday Night Football from both ends of the spectrum. And right in between, talking about the Steelers and the Dolphins, we had a nice chat with Mark Schlereth, who's calling Tampa at Carolina on Fox in week 16. And the Steelers are heading off to Detroit. What a big game that's going to be for both teams. Week 16 is lit.
As the kids might say, 844-204-rich is the number of dollars. Let's see some phone lines light up. We'll take some of your phone calls. Frank Caliando is in our green room. My goodness gracious.
And when I saw him during the commercial break, I have, you know, we have some. Ideas planned for him. as we we normally do. And I asked him, I said, do you want to see them in advance? Ooh, and um he was hemming and hawing back and forth.
No. It gave him a clue of one of them.
Okay. One of them. But he's just going to come out, and we're going to riff, and we're going to have a good time. And I don't know how many times he's been on this program, but so many. Yeah.
Yeah. I kind of had a feeling he wouldn't want to see him. I mean, you don't want to see him. Give him the option, but like, he's a fly-by-the-seat of your pants, guy.
So it's like, who are we to tell Frank Cantlendo what's funny? You know, like, let him do it.
Okay, you're right. You know what? Who are people to tell any of us what we're doing is right or wrong? Like, for instance, I should be able to sit in this chair and say everybody's going to miss the Kansas City Chiefs in the playoffs now that they're out of it. I mean, you can say that.
I did say it. I didn't agree with you. I did say it. There was quite a bit of. Wait a minute.
I've written down some notes here. Pushback. Pushback. I mean, that's to say the last pushback. They're not a light team.
Hey, listen. I don't get that, though. They were good. Isn't it weird, Rich? Like, people build you up in America, right?
You see it happen all the time with actors and athletes and pop stars. They build you up until you get here. And then once you get here, now it's time to start childling you down. Beltuso knows all about that. I am the king of that.
Yeah, because he's got multiple people. I'm the king of doing that to other people or people have done it to you. Shout out Jeff Warsaw. When I was a kid, that's how I learned. I learned as a kid.
What did you learn as a kid? To take a lot of crap. Oh, I thought it was a good thing. I thought cutting people down. No.
Oh, okay, got it. You can also prop up a lot of the other young, great teams in this league, and it's nice to see.
Some new ones in the middle. Sure, Patrick. You sent me the awful announcing article that's been written about my take. Oh, and I've been reading some of the YouTube comments. It's been fun.
I skimmed through it and I thought the pushback was rational by saying, hey, how about that Case Keenum moment, right? That wasn't a star of the game. Right? The Minneapolis miracle is something that we're still talking about today, and it didn't involve a future first ballot hall fire. As a matter of fact, it involved one of those backups that's being brought in to help somebody backup a car, I think, in the commercials, right?
Case Keenum.
So no one wanted Nick Foles to win a Super Bowl, I guess. That was so bad for everyone? No, I'm not saying that there's no room for that. There's room for that, but not at the expense of the Kansas City Chiefs. And the bottom line is people get sick of people.
In all seriousness, man. Yeah. Came on the line in the playoffs. Mahomes has the ball in his hands. You are rooting for it either to happen or for it not to happen.
You are not sitting there without an opinion. No. Most You know, if you're a casual fan, now you're interested. Yeah. Maybe more than something else.
That's what I'm saying. There's a buzz aspect to it. There's a. an aspect to it that people are going to miss. Here's the thing, Rich.
I have one rule: you don't bet against Patrick Mahomes, and now I don't have to worry about that. I can fully bet against Trevor Lawrence. Like, it's totally fine. Here you go. I love Brock.
And future stars can be born there. Filling the vacuum, the NFL is the kings of filling your vacuum. Star-making machine. No question. A narrative generating machine.
We loved when the Patriots won a couple in the beginning, and then by the third one, we hated it.
Well, here's the now what, though. We've reached the now what portion. Yeah. The now what? The now what is Patrick Mahomes?
Um getting his knee. Done already. There was word that he was going to Dallas for a second opinion. It looks like he was just going for. Either he got the second opinion, he's just like, okay, let's do it live.
Let's do it now. I'm ready now. I haven't eaten all day. You know what I mean? Like, I'm ready.
You know, I'm prepped. Or he did go to Dr. Dan Cooper, paging Dr. Cooper, and say, all right, do the knee. And he's the Dallas Cowboys surgeon.
Is he the guy in the hat? You never want to. You never want to. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I don't know.
Hold on. The guy in the hat who comes out to look at you when you're the Dallas. Is that the guy in the hat? You don't want him.
Well, you'd want him if you want your knee done, apparently. If he's the guy, he's ghost coming out. His website is not wearing a hat.
Okay. It's Dr. Dan. I need to update my team doctor research, apparently. Yeah, you definitely do.
Because, by the way, so just in case, because a lot of people did see your post, a lot of. Players do go to other teams' doctors to do important surgeries. The Rams doctor out here, Dr. Neil Eleatros. Oh, he is the guy in the hat.
It's Dr. Dan Cooper. Yeah, he's the guy in the hat. He's in the hat. He's the guy in the hat.
Listen, you don't want to. Here's the thing. You don't want to need the guy in the hat. No. All right.
But if you do need the guy in the hat, but you don't want to be the guy initially where the guy in the hat. See, the guy in the hat is the human form of the slow fox music. Yes. Knew it. You don't want to be on the ground when there's a slow fox music.
The slow sports center music, but I make a mistake on the show. Like, you don't want to be the. Mm. The slow sports center. That's the fast sports center.
That's the sports center. It used to be Dr. James Andrews out of Alabama. Did everyone from football, basketball, professional wrestlers? They all went there.
You don't like it. When I make a mistake, that's what you play. Uh-oh. By the way, this is a problem. That's the guy.
Wear the hat while he's operating. Good question. I think I would request that. Can you please wear the hat? I've seen pictures from the hat.
He's better with the hat. I have that feeling the hat's got too much dust on it. It's not sterilized? Nah, it's not sterilized anyway. Good one.
But anyway, this is not funny. This is Patrick Mahomes. He's me we're talking about here. He's going to be fine. I will say this, though.
I saw the guy in the hat. Everyone who preyed on the Chiefs' downfall, right, you should take this time and be happy because don't like fool yourself and think. He's not coming back, and you're going to go on another run. Like, for sure, dip. Here's what's going to happen: he's probably going to miss what, maybe half the year next year.
Why would he miss half the year? I could say he'll be back by October. Probably. We've seen 98 other players come back from knee injuries, and it takes them a little bit to get back. Yeah, but he's different.
He's not like everybody else. If it's a nine-month recovery, he'll be back in six. Do the math. Do the math. If it's a nine-month recovery, he will be there for week one, even.
Think baby, nine months. I understand. And first year back, you're not the same. I'm just saying. My point was: if they get a third or fourth place schedule, they are set up perfectly for 2027.
Maybe they should have Phillip Rivers start the season for them. Don't laugh, by the way. Actually, I'm not laughing. I'm not laughing at all. But in all total seriousness, this is a crossroads moment.
The what-now. First of all, the what-now is. When was the last time they played insignificant football? in a regular season, not at their own doing. Probably never in the Reed era for sure.
I mean, that goes back to Alex Smith, probably. And they were good men. They were. They made the playoffs and Rogers is, I mean, Rogers, in Mahomes' first year is where he sat most of the year.
So Andy Reid talked about the the what now. here for the final three games and then turning a page. I'm always optimistic about going forward and uh You know, Brett Viesch does a heck of a job with bringing players in, as you can see now, by the guys that are in there playing.
So, and then it's. You know, our responsibility to clean things up on the coaching side of it and the players to take responsibility on their end. Finish finish these three games and then f and then uh whoever's still here after um To retool it. Whoever's still here after, then retool it.
So first things first. That doesn't sound like a coach that's going anywhere.
Okay. I know that was your overreaction Monday subject matter: is that the next time the Chiefs make the playoffs, Andy Reid will not be the coach. That was your overreaction Monday topic. For our podcast. Just an idea?
No, I've I know that. I mean, the idea is is to come up with something provocative for the other one. Yeah, other people don't understand the concept of that segment.
So I have to clarify that. But in all seriousness, that does not sound like a guy that's he's going to be part of the retooling. and have an idea of who's I I can't wait to see who's Obviously, that can also be a sense of, we'll see who's still here. That could mean Travis. That could mean Kelsey, like what his decision is going to be.
And what his decision might have to be, we'll have absolutely to. To take a look and ask Mahomes, you think you're coming back? Do you think you're ready? He's not under contract for next year. I know that he's going to have to sign a new law.
I mean, that's. That's something I think they can hammer out. Sure. If that's what he wants to do. And they're very over the cap for next season, so that's another thing.
Well, the roster is going to look different. Things can be kicked down the road. I'm not worried about that sort of stuff. I'm not worried about that sort of stuff. Or they could use it as a retooling year and say, you know.
Maybe we could Draft well, I I mean again, Daniel Jeremiah just tweeted out the last two drafts for the LA Chargers. And as he pointed out, starters all over the place. You hit in a draft, it's all good. Look at what the Rams have done. Since they sent you guys, the season ticket holders, a message that sounded like: don't expect us to light any.
Fire's here. And that's all they've done is win double-digit win seasons in a row. But it'll be interesting to see what the retooling looks like. And it doesn't seem at the start, first blush, that Andy Reid's going to be. Part of the who's not there.
And then it's just what's up with my homes. You think I'm kidding? You call Philip Rivers and say, You want to play one more month? Uh yeah. Crazier things have happened.
I mean, Phil would take that just for the health insurance. We're here. By the way, apparently, his health insurance was running out. Did you know that? Is it really?
Yes, you get five years. You get five years of health insurance. You have a week left after he's retired. Yeah. And now maybe he's got it refreshed.
It has now kicked in. That's right. Five. Smart business. Is there somebody in the front office of 345 Park Avenue, HR, going, damn it, I thought we had all 19 Rippers.
He's got how many kids? Off the books. Rippers was off. Yeah. Some pediatrician in Alabama is like high-fiving.
Yeah, it's like, we're back. We're back. We're back. We're here on ESPN radio presented by Progressive Insurance.
So the Chiefs are out. Uh Who's in?
Well, the Denver Broncos are in. They clinched a playoff berth due to their win over the. Green Bay Packers. The Los Angeles Rams clinched a playoff spot. Thanks to their win over the lions.
So that's two of the 14. Oh, yeah. This next week, a lot more can clinch, and I have here in my hands. Hey, playoff clinching scenarios, everybody. Which one are we going to start with?
Hoskins, which one are we going to start with? You want to start with the AFC? Yes, let's start with the AFC first. The Denver Broncos have a playoff-clinching berth. scenario to win the West and also the one seed.
They can do Walk out of weak. sixteen with both in hand, if they beat the Jaguars, And the Chargers lose in Dallas. The AFC West is rafted. Woof. If the that happens.
And the Bills and Patriots also lose. As you know, the Patriots are playing the Ravens, the Bills are in Cleveland. Then the Broncos would wrap up the one seed with two weeks to go. Not so likely, right? That would require the Browns to beat the Bills.
Thank you for the music. Not likely, but you never know. The Bills have a playoff clinching scenario. How about that? First time of 2025.
If they win at Cleveland and either the Colts or Texans lose, don't forget the Colts have a. A Monday night game against Philly Riv. Texans are playing the the Raiders. Colts 49. 49ers on Monday night.
Colts 49ers. What did I say? He said the Colts were playing against Phillip Rivers. Oh, my bad.
Sorry. That's okay. The Colts were playing. With Phillip Rivers against the 45th. I'm not going to thank you for that correct comment.
Thank you very much. No, you should have played the slow sports. You're allowed to be wrong right there. I made a mistake. Um No, that's okay.
So, I think Buffalo is not glitching a playoff spot. It's not likely, right? Not likely.
Okay. Well, actually, a Buffalo win and Indianapolis loss, or there's an or, so they could potentially do it.
So, if they beat Cleveland, they will be sitting on Monday Night Football rooting for the 49ers to win. Right. If that happens, the Bills punch a playoffs. There you go. I think that's good.
Yeah. Yeah. The Patriots Win it in, right? All they win it in. Yeah.
Or An Indianapolis loss would put them in, too. Oh, nice.
Okay, great. A Houston loss would as well. But the AFC East would still be up for grabs. The Jacksonville Jaguars have a playoff clinching scenario. Respect.
If they. Win in Denver and Indianapolis loses therein.
So they need to win and have an Indianapolis or Colts. Or Texans lost. That's it.
So there they go. The Chargers have a playoff clinching scenario. Boy, they win in Dallas.
So if LA wins, Jacksonville wins. And the Bills win. And then the Indianapolis Colts loss would punch three playoff tickets. Boy, that's a big Monday night game. That's why Philly Riv came off the couch to save the cult season and prevent these playoff clinching scenarios from happening.
If Indianapolis wins, everybody's got to wait till the next week to punch a playoff ticket with the exception of New England. They could just do it on their own.
Alright, in the NF sync. I told you the magic number for the Philadelphia Eagles is one to win the East, and the playoff clinching scenarios back it up. If Dallas the the Chargers could just put the Eagles in. The Eagles are at Washington. on um on Saturday.
That's part of the doubleheader on Fox. You can't do another tie. The Bears and Packers play one another. You could. What was I saying?
Someone had two ties. If the Bears beat the Packers and the Lions lose. Um to The Pittsburgh Steelers, then Chicago clinches a playoff spot. And the same scenario for the Packers.
So, whoever wins the Bears and the Packers has got to hope for the Steelers to go into Detroit and have a little bit of Rodgers magic once more time in Detroit. You know what I'm saying? All right. The Niners have a playoff clinching scenario. All they got to do is beat the Colts, and they're in.
Oh. They're in. Nice. Or if Detroit loses, they'll already know they're in. Boy, I mean The Steelers can punch some playoff tickets too.
And well, the Thursday night football game. As I said, the Rams are already in. Um Seattle wins and they're in. Or and if they don't, then they gotta hope for Detroit to lose. That means the Rams do not have a, the West can't be clinched, even with a win.
That's because the Niners are still lurking. Oh man. The West won't be won. That is the West won't be won. Different miniseries.
Correct. Those are your week 16 playoff clinching scenarios. Share it with everybody.
So the bottom line is: if the Niners. beat the Colts. They would punch their own playoff ticket. Let's just say the Lions beat the Steelers.
So the Niners would have to Monday night punch their own playoff ticket by beating the Colts. And if the Bills. Jaguars and Chargers have already won. They would punch four playoff tickets. their own And three in the AFC, because the Colts being eliminated would set that field.
Wow. Thank God there's not a test on this. All right. There might be. There is.
Not for me.
Okay. I'm failing. Let's take a break here. Let's laugh. Let's go.
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Try now at windows.com slash Copilot. Frank Caliendo is here. That's a long Yama. I'll work in a Barkley. ESPN Radio.
I'm saving some of them for later. I can feel it. You start to do a voice, you're like, Barkley is not one that was on our list here. By the way, ESPN Radio is back. ESPN Radio presented by Progressive Insurance.
Frank Caliendo is here. How's my upper lip, by the way? Last time I was sweating, the upper lip was going to be crazy. And I was like, you decided to wear a jacket here. That was not smart.
It's not. And then I wore long sleeves today, and I was like, what am I doing? And then the other shirt didn't fit well. I'll give you a heads up. Sarah's at the ready off camera.
She's just in case she can come in like a pit crew. Oh, yeah. If you need it for Jean-Leclaw. You can do that. FrankonStage.com to see Frank starting on New Year's Eve in Phoenix, Arizona, December 31st, for those who need the actual date.
Do you do a Nance? Uh not well. It's one of those. I find it every once in a while. There's a couple different nances.
There's football nance and there's golf nance. Oh, okay. My friend John Holmberg does a really good. And when we go Romo and Nance, he will usually do the Nance. But it's that Hello Friends Jim Nance along with my pal Tony Romo.
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jimity, True. Did you see? Mary Poppins, Jim, Jiminy True. Burke, we're still alive. Dick Van Dyke doing a great job.
Oh, my goodness. I love the Dick Van Dyke show and all the Mary Tyler Moore. Tremendously talented people. They're so good at what they do, Jim. I'm smiling from ear to ear and actually across my ears.
I didn't think my smile could be bigger than my face, like Mr. Potato with extra extremities. Because Nance will say the name Pacheco like it's a six-syllable word. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
Like Pacheco. Pacheco. You know, here's Isaiah Pacheco coming out of the backfield. Like he'll really lay into it. Yeah.
Who were they saying a couple weeks ago that they pronounced the name differently than they'd ever pronounced it before? Oh, but it was Marius Mariota. That was Collinsworth. That was Collinsworth. They started calling him Marcus Mariota.
And we're like, where the hell did that come from?
Well, Jamico was doing it too. There must have been a production meeting. It was exactly that. You know, if Gruden was there at a production, he's like, I'm just going to do it the way I've always done it. How's that sound, man?
Marcus, Marcos. That sounds like you're going to start swearing, man. Marcus Mario Thai? I'll tell you what, man. That's pretty good ends.
How about this? Let's start doing that with every NFL quarterback. Aaron Rogers. I love Aaron Rogers. Or is that French, Aaron Roger?
I'll tell you what, man. You've got to look out for the French. You ever been to the Eiffel Tower, man? That's almost as tall as Victor Wembanyama. I wouldn't take a shot against the Eiffel Tower.
And that's the same. That's where he's from, man. He's from France. You ever see France? I have, John.
I've seen France, as a matter of fact. You ever see Wembanyamina? I wasn't sure I was going with that. I remember we're on Disney Plus right now, man. Disney Plus.
Disney Plus. We put the plus in it. I'll tell you what, man. That's a pretty good situation right there. It's better than Disney minus.
Oh, my God. Frank Kelly, I know. You have absolute value around it. It's always Disney Plus, man. You remember absolute value brackets?
Oh, God. I love to put some absolute value brackets around it. Oh, my God. It's going down, ladies and gentlemen.
So, Frank, on stage. There you go. Omaha, Nebraska, Naples, Florida, Brookfield, Wisconsin are all spots. All right, we've got some fun planned for you. As always, you're ready for the fun?
Yeah, I heard you talking about it. You. Didn't show me any of them last time. Right. And they went over very well.
You had no idea we were going to do the Mount Rushmore sandwiches. And now, and so I'm wiping the lip. Do you need to start coming? Oh, she's on her phone. How's it look?
How's it look? What do you think? She's giving you a little bit of a good thing. But people were into that. They were like the fact that I didn't get them in advance.
That's correct.
So I started. Propping that up and saying that was a big deal.
Now, then, when you wanted to show it to me, I was like, That was one of them that I wanted to give you a heads up on in case you were not well-versed on the roster. Yeah, this is where you lie and say I saw none of this. You did see none of these.
Okay, here we go. I saw the last. First one, Frank Caliendo, because it is the holiday time. Yes. Okay.
I'd like you to tell me what's being served for Christmas dinner at the John Madden. The John Madden Christmas dinner that's being served right now. I mean, well, you know, there's a lot. I was going to meta on that. But okay, so at the Christmas dinner, you got the turkey and the chicken and the duck and you stuff them all together.
You got the traduct, and that's first of all. Then you got the casserole, which is beans stuffed into, you got the corn stuffed into carrots, stuff from succotas. That's what they used to say. And we used to do a thing where Pat and I'd spend Christmas together sometimes, and Pat be like, pass the gravy. And I pass the gravy and then, boom, you got moist turkey.
My brain immediately went to the wrong place, a Madden in heaven. And I was like, well, that's that's not.
Okay, that's a good one. I love it. John Madden's Christmas dinner.
Next one, Jerry Jones, what's on your Christmas list?
Well, I think we need, we are in desperate need of a pass rusher. For Christmas. It has been a while since we have been able to rush the pass, and I believe that as the owner, President. General manager and coach of the Dallas Cowboys, that I will get what I want. I am on the nice list.
Some owners are on the naughty list. I have never in my life Been on the naughty list. And I do not believe. that will ever take place. Do you think you need to change maybe the the rules on who makes the playoffs?
in terms of your current situation. We have looked into that and robot refs. Cletus? Is Cletus the Fox mascot? Yes.
A giant transformer-like robot will become. The head referee, the Ed Hockey. Yeah. But not as strong.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, but not as strong. Very good. Frank Calleander.
Next up. I'd like to ask Adam Schefter, what is the meaning of Christmas?
Well, according to my sources, at this particular time. It appears that Christmas is about giving. It is the giving season in the Christian faith. Christmas is about the birth of the baby Jesus away in a manger No room for a crib. Yeah.
And according to my sources, I'm going to go more secular with Deck the halls with boughs of holly. According to my sources, vala la. It appears. That Santa is already making his toys available around the world. Really?
We have. Still should have come. The Elves are in production, getting ready. It's the preseason for the Elves as we approach the regular season for the Elves and then the playoffs. Christmas Eve goes into the Super Bowl of Christmas for Santa Claus, which is Christmas Eve.
The end. A lot of minutes for this. It's now time. Do you want to come in? Sarah's coming in.
Ladies and gentlemen, she's coming in. Sarah's coming in. Sarah Jackson, get in there. All right, there we go. It starts electing.
There we go. I told you. We always get a cutaway to Deltufa whenever a new. There we go. Look at you, man.
Oh, yeah, Frank. Frank Calvin.
So you got some sweat right there and some sweat right there. And then, boom, she can't get rid of it. Tough acting Sarah Jackson. Ladies and gentlemen. Tough acting to Sarah Jackson.
Yeah. All right, now that Frank is all beautifully powdered, two more to go. Stephen A. Smith, what are your New Year's resolutions? My New Year's resolutions are in no particular order.
Yeah. Peace and goodwill toward men. I believe that is best for everyone. Uh I was prepared for Christmas stuff, and you're going already to New Year's Eve. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So I would have to say. What else are my New Year's resolutions? Um To help out the Dallas Cowboys to maybe win again. Or am I against them?
I can't remember which it is anymore. And maybe, just possibly. Think of something better for this next time.
Okay, listen, gentlemen. I didn't have it. I didn't have it. See, that's what happens when you guys get it. That's what happens.
You put it out there and you fail. All right, so then what do you want for Christmas then? For Stephen A. Smith. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
Going Christmas Carol. Two first takes? The two first takes. There it is. Finding a way.
That was not detrimental to the whole situation. All right, last one for you, then, Frank. Mel Kuiper Jr. What is your evaluation of Santa Francis? We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas in perpetuity. Yeah, yeah. I guess the three four syllable words are perfect. Yeah, those are all the if you if you're you could that's isn't that your Rome sort of beat incredible, phenomenal, ridiculous.
Perpetuity. Arugula. Arugula. What a great lettuce. Nice job.
Oh, my God. What is your evaluation of Santa's reindeer, Mel Kuiper Jr? Give me, give me, I guess, the top prospects of Santa's reindeer. Talking about a tremendous set of reindeer, Rich. We all know about Rudolph.
You got Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. And Dasher, tremendous downhill speed, doing a great job with the rest of the reindeer, Prancer and Dancer, a little bit more shifty backs. I don't want to give them Barry Sanders type of moniker, but that's a Prancer and Dancer really doing a nice job. Maybe a Saquon Barkley type of maneuver. And then Rancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitz, Blitzen, breaking into the backfield.
I mean, that's the thing. You don't want to see like you see Miles Garrett, Blitz is the Miles Garrett of Reindeer breaking in toward your quarterback at the end of the day. You're not going to get presents if that's what's happening. Let's see. And like I said, the most famous reindeer of all, Rudolph Rednos, Reindeer, Shiny Nose, able to see.
Tremendously as Santa Claus is delivering gifts. And the other reindeer used to laugh and call them names. They never let poor Rudolph join any reindeer games. Rudolph doing a tremendous job at the NFL Reindeer Combine, ran a 4-2-40, just like Rich running his, and then doing a great job with the Chalk Talk. Rudolph, not only tremendous field vision, but at the end of the day, I want Rudolph lead my sleigh.
He's a guy. What that is. You're right that Rudolph faced adversity. Like you look at a guy like Herbie the elf doing a job. He wanted to be a dentist.
This is an elf who wanted to be a dentist to thought about, you know, kind of like a Kyler Murray type of situation. They end up at the island of misfit toys, the Winter Warlock. Listen, for my money, Santa Claus is coming to town, the number one Christmas special. Chris Kringle left on the doorstep, finding his way, Burger Marstermeister, Meister Burger. Did he want to play the yo-yo?
He didn't want Chris Kringle delivering toys. The kids didn't have any toys. The whole situation was great. Then Chris Kringle shows up in his red suit. Jessica, tremendously beautiful, a lady.
It was kind of a stop-motion type of thing, but then they put one foot in front of the other. At the end of the day, you end up walking through that front door. Because you could also, Santa could put Blitzen anywhere on the list. You can line up anywhere. Blitzen, you don't line him up in one slot.
You can put him anywhere in the field. I've seen Blitzen, I've actually seen Blitzen start in the defensive backfield. That's not something a guy like a Blitzen would normally do. Nobody really does that. I mean, what are you running around?
It's called a defensive stunt. And at the end of the day, that's what this entire book was. Thank you all, very good. You want a shot take a shot of Berman reading Tw the Twas the Night Before Christmas. Shayway uh uh twas the night before Christmas.
And boo through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there. That's all I can remember. But according to my sources, at this particular time, it appears that St.
Nicholas will arrive with a sleigh full of reindeer and presents for all the children of the world. Yes. And I don't even understand. And say what you will, but nobody delivers the presents like Santa Claus. I mean, nobody circles the world.
Like Chris Crane. Like Chris Cringe. Where do you rich? Oh, my God. As always, I'm crying.
And I'm sweating. Me too. It's muscular. Oh, my gosh. I can't breathe.
FrankonStage.com to see this man at work, Phoenix, Arizona, on New Year's Eve, Omaha, Nebraska, and Naples, Florida to wrap up. Brookfield with somebody. This is what the stars get. You got your own little windmill right there, huh? Yeah, right.
Oh my gosh. Hey, you're doing its cardio right here.
So good. On the program. Oh, my gosh. What, I guess, last one for you? What was the most rich?
What is it, Rich? Rich Dark Vader? Why don't we turn you into Rich? You could be Richard Jay, right?
Something Robert Downey Jr.: Robert Downey Jr., what happened? Robert Frank. Robert Downey Jr., what are we doing? Where did the fans come from? Oh, they're always around me.
Okay. Well, Robert Downey Jr. says the bit is he just he belches halfway through a sentence. I'm gonna Do me a favor and Ask you a couple questions. Thor, the gun of thunder.
We uh We understand here. Oh, my God. I could always throw Mark Ruffalo in, but nobody knows I'm even doing it. Mark Ruffalo, that's a deep cut. No, that's ridiculous.
I see this as an absolute win. That's not bad at all. No, it's great. What are you talking about? I just want to hire you.
Did you touch my drum set? Come on, Rich. John C. Riley is a nice dude. John C.
Riley, like Stephen A. Smith, but, you know, not. Did you touch my drum set? I have to say that if you touch my drum set, we're going to have a problem here.
So, John C. Riley and Stephen A. Smith as stepbrothers. Great idea you just gave us. Did we just become best friends?
I believe we did in perpetuity. How do you turn this on? Ladies and gentlemen, Frank Caliendo did not ruin the dinner and possibly the evening. Oh my God. FrankonStage.com to see this man live.
Thanks for coming in, brother. Oh, thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Always. When do I get to see you again?
I'll tell you what, man. It's going to be pretty soon. You think so, huh? He's coming. You think I'd be a pretty good buddy elf, man?
Tell you what. Gruden on the shelf? I'll tell you what. The Gruden on the shelf, man. The Chucky on the shelf.
I'll tell you what, man. Some of these things I've been doing overnight are pretty crazy. Why are people always melting Hershey bars and putting it on toilet paper? I'll tell you what, man. There's a lot of weird things going on with these Grudens on the shelf.
I'll tell you what, it's a tremendous job. How can they, why are there jelly beans underneath me, man? I'll tell you what, that's tremendous. You ever swing from licorice? I'll tell you what, that's a pretty good idea, man.
Oh, oh. Frank Caliando, another side-splitting, face-hurting appearance here on The Rich Eisen Show. Check out, again, frankonstage.com for tickets to go see this man live. We're back with more here on The Rich Eyes and Show. We'll be right back.
My bang, wing, wait, wait, wait, back after this. Yeah, same. The Rich Heisen Show, the podcast. Back here on the Rich Eisen Show, Sonos has got its holiday sale going on right now. You should investigate, to say the very least, because we have Sonos in our house: music and TV and anything you want to listen to, and any room that you want to put it in in your house.
this stuff that they have from the speakers to everything else The software, unbelievable, so easy for you to install as well. My kids love it. Susie loves it. You will as well. That holiday sale that I'm selling John right now goes through December 28th.
So get cracking. at sonos.com. Discover how easy it is to bring every room to life in your house with Sonos. 844-204-RICH, number to dial. Derek in Missouri needs the RAS consulting help.
I'm told, what's up, Derek? Not a whole lot, Rich. It's a little quiet here in the state of Missouri after what happened two days ago, not just because of the fact that Keys were eliminated, but. What happened to Technical Homes was, you know, pretty unfortunate. You hate to see that happen to anybody no matter who it is.
Very unf Correct. I agree. What else on your mind?
So I need a little assistance from RES Consulting for my some of my week sixteen picks.
Okay. I'll give you three in particular. I have eight to choose from, but I'll give you three in particular that I need the most help with. Please. More than anything.
So I got the Thursday night game between the Rams and the Seahawks. And another one is Green Bay and Chicago and then New England and Baltimore. I wish you'd take in those matchups if you had a big one. Man. It's going to be tough for the Rams to win in Seattle, but I think they are the better team, to be very honest with you.
They have the better, you know, they have their own all-world receiver. uh in Puka. Um Seattle has the one In JSN, but they have been having trouble on third down. They've been having trouble scoring, period, other than their defense being the catalyst. Sure.
But they can obviously win, that's for sure. I don't know why I can't quit the Packers. Over the Bears, and what was the last one? New England. And New England's a better team than the Ravens right now.
They should bounce back. They had the bills down 21. You know. And the Ravens also I think the Ravens also had the bills down. Didn't the Ravens also have the bills down 21 also back in week one?
What was the deficit or something close to 21? But I listen, I don't know if I gave you any help, but That's where I'm leaning on all those games here on the Tuesday before all of it happening. Thanks to the call, Derek in Missouri, everybody. But uh I didn't give him the full RES consulting experience. You want to Chime in.
Gents. Man, it wouldn't shock me if the home teams won. You mentioned the third down issue for Seattle. Devontae Adams not being there is kind of a big deal. It gives them the opportunity to kind of double cuca and just maybe one of the tight ends break off for the Rams.
Who knows? Chicago, Green Bay. Green Bay is one of those kind of roller coaster teams. They look great one week and then not so much the rest. And then the Patriots, you know, struggle against the run and kind of closing out games in the second half.
So Derrick Henry might have a big game. I don't know. Those are three big games, though. You just named them. Yeah, massive.
All playoff type feel. Lions Steelers, too, pal. Rogers back in Detroit. We mentioned Jacksonville-Denver earlier. Jacksonville-Denver might be the marquee game of the weekend.
Yeah. With all due respect to Bears Packers, Bears, Packers, pretty huge every single time. And now you've got the Bears back on top again. I mean, the Packers go from one down to the wild card. The Bears go from the wildcard up to one, back to the wildcard, now back up to two.
Bears Packers Saturday, Saturday night. If you're the Bears now, you're looking at the pack without Micah, and you've got to be Micah. And the Bears have been running the ball really well. And then the college football playoffs begin Friday. That's true.
Greg Sankey's on tomorrow's program. As two SEC teams take on one another, Oklahoma beats Alabama, and all of us in Ann Arbor, Michigan will be like: hey, Kaelin. Will you check this box? He already said he's not going to. I heard that.
Everybody said that. It took him a lot. It took a lot to get the answer. What do you think he's going to say before a college football playoff game? Come on now.
Which is why this is so stupid. This whole calendar is so stupid and dumb. That said, though, Bill Parcells once went to a Super Bowl for the Patriots, and it was all done. Um You know, that hap i it it's happened in the pros as well. I mean So Everybody knew that Parcells was coaching in the Patriots in the Super Bowl, and this thing was not.
The grocery shopping was going to be done elsewhere.
So I mean, I'm not saying it's only college football, but right now, these days, that's what I've got to talk to Sankey about tomorrow. You know, in the same way that we're all in Ann Arbor rooting for Oklahoma to give us a quick shot at Kalen DeBoer, if that even is the right move, I don't know. As you know, I'm looking for the. I I'm not trying to fish into deep sea waters here. like that.
I'm I'm looking for somebody that He's ready to do more. Yeah, an up-and-comer, like as I say, a football Dusty May. I don't know who that person is. But, you know, in the same way that I'm like, hey, Caitlin, will you check this box? I'm saying to Greg Sankey, will you check this box?
Can you figure out what? With Tony Petiti, get in a room and take over? Yeah. Get you and the Big Ten Commissioner, get in the room with a lot of the executives we know at ESPN and get in a lot of executives that you know at Fox. And let's get in a room and figure this thing out.
And will you be the commissioner? Yeah. Will you check this box? I've asked him multiple times in appearing here, and he's like, I don't want any part of it. Because who the hell knows?
Here's what we got to do. We've got to figure out who are the teams that are in the boat for the college football playoffs at the top, the tippy-toppest of the tier. Let's figure out 64 of them. And then, who's in the lower tier that you can relegate back and forth and elevate from them? And then get every other sport out of the mix.
College basketball is on its own island, and then the rest of the so-called Olympic sports are on their own island.
So, you don't drag everybody from one coast to the other, you know, for swimming or volleyball just because football's mandated it. There we go. We fixed it. Boom. Look at us.
RES Consulting. That's it.
Unite. I missed this last night: Arch Manning going back to Texas for next year. There you go. There you go. Looks like the house.
We can go home now if we only have a whole third hour. Charlie Barrens, the comedian, is here in studio for hour through. Keep the laughs going. The Rich Eisen Show Podcast. Mm-hmm.
