Two hours ago, Kyle arrived at the bar. Hey, what's everyone drinking? 30 minutes ago, Kyle got his friends another round of drinks. Cheers! Five minutes ago.
Kyle decided to drive home drunk. A minute ago, a law enforcement officer pulled up behind Kyle. Sir, have you been drinking tonight? A chain of events that began two hours ago is about to change Kyle's whole world. Drive sober or get pulled over.
Paid for by NHTSA. Listen, the way you sleep is unique to you, and that's why having a sleep number smart bed is so crucial. Because you can adapt to your changing needs for just right. Can't wait to nestle into bed, luxurious comfort.
So whether your needs are softer or firmer, cooler or warmer, you are never stuck. You can adjust your comfort whenever you like. And it gives you your best night's sleep night after night, year after year. I love my smart bed. My sleep number setting is 60.
My wife's is 70, just 10 numbers apart, but it means the world of difference because I can change my side of the bed to however firm or soft I want. And the same thing. for Suze.
So why choose a sleep number smart bed? Again, so you can sleep just the way you like. The only bed that lets you make each side firmer or softer whenever you like, your sleep number setting. Sleep numbers biggest sale of the year is here. All beds on sale up to 50% off the limited edition smart bed limited time.
exclusively at a sleep number store near you. Sleep Number, Official Sleep and Wellness Partner of the NFL. See store or sleepnumber.com for details. This is The Rich Eisen Show. And he is coming for you.
Yeah, baby. Yeah. Live from the Rich Eisen Show studio in Los Angeles. Because you know the narrative. The narrative is the Browns are just trying to do Shador dirty.
You feel like you belong here on this team? I feel like I do. Earlier on the show. Hosts of Heat the Call Podcast, Dan Hanshus and Mark Zessler. Coming up.
Falcons running back Bajan Robinson. Actor, Director, and former NFL Defensive Back, Nandi Asamwa. And now... It's Rich, I said.
Well, yes, that's correct. And I'm on TV now on the Roku Sports Channel. And you're listening to me, hopefully, on the Infinity Sports Network or Sirius XM Channel 375 or the Odyssey app, two Odyssey Gents and Mark Sessler. And Dan Hansu, so if he'd the call, just left the studio. Coming into the studio, and hour number three is Namdi Asama to join this dream team.
I am going to make that reference to Namdi at some point. Aha, dream team. And Raiders fans remember Namdi from his dynamite years coming out of Cal and being one of the best. uh defensive backs for the Oakland Raiders back in the day.
So, for all those out there in Raider Nation, certainly listening in Las Vegas, Nevada, right now, and our radio affiliate there, we say hello to you and say, stay tuned for NAMDI in hour three. And hey, the Raiders just got. Just got Kenny Peckett, man. What the Raiders are up to, dude. I'm unclear.
And they needed, they needed a veteran back. Absolutely. What's so hard to figure out?
Well, no, no, no. Let's figure out what they're going to be this year. Yeah. Oh, I got to say that. Kobe Myers also asked for a trade.
Yeah. And then he signed Amari Cooper yesterday. That's right. Who was on the couch? And so Amari's back again.
I'm back on Sports Center. Amari Cooper's back on the Raiders.
So that makes me the Amari Cooper of Sportscast. I don't know. I just Amari Cooper, the rich eyes of wide receivers. I love when there's ever a move, you know, all the guys get the Photoshops out and they're like, this is what it looks like with this new guy in his new uniform. And then they just repost a picture of Amari Cooper with the Raiders.
Which means, hey, the Raiders are going to have somebody who's going to get 200 yards against the Chiefs. Remember, he always used to do that? Torch the Chiefs. Remember, he torched the Chiefs? Every time, do me a favor.
I'm gonna get these exact stats. I'm gonna say this right now. I'm setting the over-underline. At one and a half of 200-yard receiving games he's had against the Chiefs, and I'm going to go over. I think he had two of them.
So Obviously, that's back in the day, but... Hey, man, Geno settles the quarterback position in a way that the Raiders haven't had in a while. Ashton Genti, is he offensive rookie of the year? Brock Bowers could have been offensive rookie of the year last year if there wasn't a unicorn growing in. in Washington, D.C.
I mean, they've got options. They got Max Crosby. They got Pete. Everyone's just booking the Raiders for last place in the division. Um October 29th, 2017.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 11 catches, 210 yards. Two touchdowns against Kansas City.
And that's his only 200-yard game of his career? Yes. I thought he had more. Oh, he had one against Philadelphia. He had one against Philadelphia.
Yeah, and Green Bay. Yeah, that one stood out against Kins.
So, and Jacoby Myers, it's I mean, I They basically said no. We're not trading you. Yeah. Sorry, you're staying. And he's showing up in New England.
I think that's a good idea. back on our sidelines. That's not going to happen. That would be fantastic. Put up the Raiders schedule, do you mind?
You know, Pete going back to New England has started. Right. And then. If you remember Mike North of the National Football League, who's part of the scheduling process. The Chargers are the home game on Monday because They wanted to have the Chargers back at home after starting in Brazil in the same way that the Chiefs.
Are back at home after starting in Brazil. But there was what? There's a concert going on in SoFi. Didn't he say there was a concert? On Sunday, right?
Right. So they couldn't do it. And um And so they got the Chargers as close to Los Angeles as they could on the road, and it's Vegas. And that's going to be Pete's return to the sideline at home in Vegas as a Monday nighter against. Yeah.
What's your deal, bro? Right? Him and Harbaugh. Yeah, there's a Chris Brown concept. That's what it was.
That weekend.
Okay. Yeah. At Washington, home for Chicago, at Indianapolis, home for Tennessee, at Kansas City. There are some winnable games for the Raiders to start, and they have got some pieces. And Kenny Pickett going there.
is a wise move. It just cost him a fifth round selection. Gino and Kenny Pickett in that room. I mean, they're making some moves, and it's smart. They're making some smart moves here.
But everybody's just popping them in last place. In that division, because of how many teams made the playoffs last year and they only got better. And the Raiders are a new construct. I guess if you want to bump them up to third, you could. We'll see what happens when we predict that division, you know, later on.
But, you know. Chargers go down a peg with the Rashawn Slater injury. Maybe the Raiders jump up to third, but you just can't see them jumping Denver or Kansas City right now, right? Unless. Ashin Genti runs for 1,500 yards.
Gino's balling. And Brock Bowers starts. Killing it again. And Gino can ball.
Well, they have the new Chip Kelly offense, which really has not revealed itself in the preseason. They purposely played at Super Bland. Yeah, we don't know what that's going to look like. Right. You know, Chip going from Ohio State to the Raiders, meaning.
You know, Dave Portnoy might be able to see him in Vegas. Ha ha ha. Let's talk about this. I mean, this is crazy. This is kind of a wild story.
This is crazy. Let's talk about that. Yeah. Did Ohio State ban Dave Portnoy from the United States? being in their stadium.
Um. They say no.
Okay, they say no. Seems okay. You know, Yahoo's reporting from the athletic director, it was a Fox decision. And uh they say no. I will say I will say this.
Dave Portnoy. Said, I believe he was the one who said Ryan Day's brother. was behind a lot of the You know. Reporting and leaking. of what was going on with the Connor Stallions' awfulness.
And um So Portnore was talking about Day's family.
So, I understand if there's some sensitivity with Dave Portnoy showing up on the Fox set. But you know It's one of those things where You're telling me it's raining. Yeah. So they hired Dave Portnoy. To essentially, I'll just come straight to the door.
To essentially McAfee up the Fox. Morning program, big noon on Fox pregame show. I think that's it.
Okay, right. Like, you see, Pat has. Nuclear supercharged. College game day. Oh yeah.
Okay. And you could see. the relationship Pat has with the kids on campus and they with him. I mean, it's it's exactly what you're looking for. in broadcast television.
The demographic, the relationship between fan and show, and fan, and talent, and talent, and fan, and talent, and ratings. I mean, it's exactly what you're looking for. And so, you know, Pat, if I'm not mistaken. After he started punting, he was with Barstool, wasn't he? With Barstool in Indiana?
Yeah, he started out that Barstool Midwest, Heartland, or whatever they called it back then.
So Fox goes into the Barstool and gets L. Stu Presidente. Yep.
Okay. And so you're telling me you're gonna make a deal with him. And then You're it's a Fox decision to keep him off the most watched hour of the two-hour program? When they're inside that what you're telling me? When there are fans on the other side of the set.
You're you're gonna have Portnoy off that set. Willingly, that's your decision. That's what we're being told.
Okay. Can't be a Michigan-Ohio State thing, can it? Is it? Could it be? Because if it's this, I will just say this again.
I understand there were some personal things said and. and all that stuff. Um And there's a lot of other things that have happened. that's behind the conversation here. Like say The last time bar stool connected with, if you will, mainstream media or Um legacy media, linear cable media.
Um they were like one show undone. One and done.
Okay. The van talks. Right. All that stuff.
So is this happening again? where you know Fox is not Well, I guess well, Fox is what half? stepping into the bar stool portnoy pool by saying you can go hang out on the on-campus portion. It's time for the adults to go in the stadium. You know, that's not happening.
Certainly in the big ten. Right, is that what's happening? Is that what we're understanding? Is that what Fox is saying to somebody like Portnoy and Barstool? I don't think so.
That makes no sense. Makes no sense. You're hiring him for a reason. Right. So that's one thing.
And then there's the other thing of... Um the head coach of the program in question. allegedly, but not really doing the banning. Once upon a time, Had an issue with a statement said by a fake version. Yeah.
of a coach. Dressed up. No, very obviously not the real guy. Right? Like it's like.
Like he's uh from a you know a Johnny Knoxville in a jackass movie, right? It's obviously not Lou Holtz, but that. caused the coach to go off. Catherine Tappet on NPC after they won a game, which is the point of this. If there's any truth to this.
Mm-hmm. Add it. Has an aroma of Maybe. You won! You won!
Not against Michigan, but... After that. You not only won. Ohio State not only won. They shut everybody up in winning.
Kind of dominated. And they kicked everyone's ass. They were the clear class. of the college football playoffs from Talent to coaching to execution, to focus, to drive. All of them.
Clear champs, why are you spending a split second over who's coming to the stadium for your. Television partner. Who does, quite frankly, depend on the largesse of Ohio State and its? Massive. Fan base.
Okay, I understand there's relationships and things of that nature. But Man, I read this and I'm like, and by the way, so You know, of course, Portnoy is having a field day with it, which is another thing that you should. If there is something going on that's not going on, but let's just jump in that there is something going on. Did nobody. In Columbus say if we do go ahead with this sort of thing, we're giving.
The guy that we don't want a spot in our stadium exactly what he wants. See, he's posting about it. And you could see he put on a fake costume, right? That's the fantastic.
Okay, like that's how he's gonna get in the stadium. Did you see who responded Color stallion saying you need tickets. That is unbelievable. I have a sense of humor. I see the humor in that.
That's funny. But hey. Can I just say this, please? Connor. Go away.
Go away. We don't need, and I understand bar, but didn't barstool. Haven't they invited him on shows? Hasn't he been part of their world? Has he been part of their world?
No, I don't think so. Go away. We don't need to hear from you. It's not funny. It's not funny.
It's hilarious. It's funny to you. It's so funny. Why is it funny to you? Nothing happened.
I've seen humor. Literally, nothing happened to your school. You got your title, no wins, everything's fine, just laugh. That's good. That's hilarious.
No, because something, I'll admit it, something clearly happened.
Something clearly happened with Connor Stallions. They did find Michigan. a ton of money and they like this is You could say all you want. Pornoy could write that check. It means nothing.
One guy can write that. Just go away. You're not relevant. No one from Michigan wants to hear from you ever again. You screwed it all up.
Now, there may have been... others involved. Just go away. I don't want to hear from you. No one from Michigan wants to hear.
anymore. You need tickets. Oh, it's funny now. It's not funny. It's not funny because something happened.
and it's embarrassing and I don't want to ever hear about it anymore. And the whole point of it is. The whole point of all of this Is Ohio State loves using the Connor Stallion stuff against Michigan. And The beautiful thing is, I get to say over the last four years, scoreboard. Yep.
It's a scoreboard. And by the way, Michigan was losing on that scoreboard when Connor Stallions was given out tickets. A lot. That said, Ohio State can use the same exact thing. If you're sitting there going, Port Noy was such an a-hole to Ryan Day, and Ryan's sitting there going, My family was going through the ringer, part of because of Port Noy.
You're through it. You throw it. Yeah, one. You are the national champion head coach. You're the guy.
You're raising the banner. We planted a flag, you're raising one. I'd rather raise one than plant one. Am I wrong? I'd rather raise one than plant one.
The plant one is pretty sweet. I mean, I mean, it's certainly if you're going to start getting so sensitive, then you're not letting a Michigan man in the building. That's just so insane. Oh, allegedly. It's Fox's decision because they spent all this money and they made all this buzz and they think Port Noya is extremely additive, certainly in this 21st century.
But they're willingly going to keep him off the most watched hour leading up to the game. The biggest game of the season. Right, maybe. Yeah, and it's the first one. It's the first one.
Oh, yeah. You know what? Yeah, don't go to the stadium. Watch the game in a bar.
Okay, it's raining. What is that discharge coming on my head right now? Yeah. 844-204-RICH is the number to dial in the program. Mm-hmm.
Some big news went down, Rich. Oh, let's take a break and you'll tell me. Is it Micah Parsons signing? No, that would be. It's probably a little bigger than that.
Probably a lot of bigger. Honestly, a lot of bigger than that. Are you serious? Yeah, a lot bigger than that. Me personally.
Don't look. Don't look. Don't check your phone. I want an unfiltered reaction when we tell you. Do I just have to stare into space like putting on an airplane over the next five minutes?
You got to raw dog this commercial break. Really? Yes. Oh, wow. I'm intrigued.
Yes. We will take a break after that. It's mind-blowing. I can't believe you don't know. I don't know.
I have not looked at my-I've been too busy going all in on my favorite section. Hey folks, let me tell you that drinking and driving is a decision that will change your whole world. Things will never be the same once you get a DUI because legal fees and time in court are just the beginning. Getting into a crash is another way your world could be irreversibly changed after drinking and driving. Your vehicle may not be the only thing it gets damaged in that crash.
You could face a life-altering injury or even death, but... You're not the only one who could face those consequences. Your decision to drink and drive could permanently change someone else's world, whether you injured them or leave their loved ones grieving. The next time you're out drinking, call a ride share, a taxi, a sober friend, or a designated sober driver. Always plan for a safe ride home.
The only decision that will change your world for the better is the decision to call for a sober ride. It is never worth it to drive drunk. Don't risk it. Drive sober. or get pulled over.
Paid for by NHTSA. Even the safest drivers still encounter unsafe conditions, so it's important they do it in a safe vehicle. And Hyundai's offer available class executive advanced safety features to help keep you protected against the many challenges the road throws your way. Basically, in a Hyundai, you can drive as safely as possible and enjoy your journey in confidence and style. When you change lanes, signal check for traffic and enjoy the added safety of Hyundai's available blind spot view monitor.
Constantly scan for dangers and take advantage of Hyundai's standard forward collision avoidance assist to help prevent accidents by alerting you of imminent collisions and automatically applying the brakes. Stay alert at all times and be thankful that Hyundai's standard driver attention warning system monitors your attention levels and can bring your focus back on the road. Safety is all about making the right decisions on the road. And when selecting a vehicle. Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com.
Call 562-314-4603 for details. Listen, the way you sleep is unique to you, and that's why having a sleep number smart bed is so crucial. Because you can adapt to your changing needs for just right. Can't wait to nestle into bed, luxurious comfort.
So, whether your needs are softer or firmer, cooler or warmer, you are never stuck. You can adjust your comfort whenever you like. And it gives you your best night's sleep night after night, year after year. I love my smart bed. My sleep number setting is 60.
My wife's is 70, just 10 numbers apart, but it means the world of difference because I can change my side of the bed to however firm or soft I want. And the same thing. For Suze.
So, why choose a sleep number smart bed? Again, so you can sleep just the way you like. The only bed that lets you make each side firmer or softer whenever you like, your sleep number setting. Sleep number's biggest sale of the year is here. All beds on sale up to 50% off the limited edition smart bed limited time exclusively at a sleep number store near you.
Sleep Number, Official Sleep and Wellness Partner of the NFL. See store or sleepnumber.com for details. This is done. It's in the can as they say in the Hollywood business. It is.
There is a young lady out there who has caught Kelsey as we are currently standing here. Yes. Sitting here. And all she has is just a promise, we'll see if we can work this thing out. And a TV show.
I mean, that's a great thing. Yeah, you know, it's the whole thing that she'll be on E. Last question on this subject before we take a break, we'll come back and talk some football. Did you did you tell Andy Reid I'm doing this thing? We had a conversation.
Um, you know, that's a touchy subject, Rich. And uh, I feel like I represented the Chiefs in a very well-mannered. I mean, I'm not the crazy, out-of-control guy on camera. I'm very. Uh polite, respectful.
Yeah, my parents raised me right in Cleveland, Cleveland, Ohio.
So it's it was one of those things where I had to Show everyone around the world that I am a well-mannered, polite guy, not just this crazy football player.
So, did you say to Andy, I've got 50 women in the Coliseum, and I speed date them down to 20, and then I stick them in a mansion, and then speed date all of them, sometimes one with me and five other women at a time, and then boil it down. The time is yours, and then just sit there and say that to Andy. Did you say that? No, no, obviously, no, I didn't tell him that. I just told him I had an opportunity on TV.
Okay. So, is Andy learning right now what catching Kelsey's? I got an opportunity on TV. Do you mind? The time is yours.
Yeah. Fantastic. I love you, coach. Yeah. Oh, baby, the great Travis Kelsey and all of his appearances here on The Rich Isen Show.
are available on our YouTube. channel right now, youtube dot com slash rich eisen show. I have not looked. In the commercial break and all screens, they got nothing. Um I'm wondering if that video is an Easter egg.
Well, as you know, it's roster cutdown day. And I'm sure it's not. It's not Travis Kelsey getting cut. No, he did not get cut. All right, very good.
That's good stuff. All right, we go to the break. With you saying, both of you, that there is massive news that has broken. Massive. I did not look at a screen.
I didn't sit like David Putty staring at the into space. Yeah, I watched you.
Okay. Or vegetable lasagna. I did move around, but I didn't look at a screen as promised because you said don't look at it. I did say, is Micah Parsons signed? That was totally facetious.
I know he hasn't. Definitely not. And you said it was bigger. I said to me, not to me personally. Personally, but to the world.
Oh, yeah, this news was rich. Here's the thing: it's a love story, and she said yes. Oh my god, is this breaking news? Breaking news, Mike. Hit it.
Here it comes. And Maria I see breaking news. Is this real? Travis Kelsey asked. Taylor Swift said yes.
Awesome. They are engaged. Official photos. They are official on Instagram just now. Congratulations to them.
That is very, very cool. How awesome. Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married. And I'm assuming in this equation, She's the English teacher. And he's the gym teacher.
Okay. Look at that ring. I think it works both ways these days. That is nice. I mean Congratulations.
This is awesome. I'm so happy. Honestly, I mean... And now I know why you showed the moments ago in the television only segment when. Kelsey has been caught.
Yes, that the when Kelsey's first in-studio appearance in the history of his. the show It's 2017. He came here to talk about his... uh reality show where he was uh Called Catching Kelsey, where he was doing sort of a dating show. He's come a long way.
Professionally, personally. Um emotionally Awesome. Hey man, that New Heights pod with the two of them and Jason. There's a reason why it made a gajillion people happy and watching, and it's not just because, obviously, of her fame and their fame together. Um it's that they're real.
They're real. I love that. The English teacher and the gym teacher. Is there a backstory? What is the backstory?
That's what they look like, right? No, I think there was one part of the pod where she used a big word and.
Well, I forgot what word it was. And Jason said there's no way that Travis knows what that word is. And he actually nailed the definition of it because she and he are talking about this sort of stuff. Um I forgot what word it was. Mm.
But I love it. That's great.
So now maybe everybody can back off if she's shown because she's now a fiancé.
Well, that's not going to happen. I mean, that's definitely not. I mean, where are we getting married? Do we know? Where are they registered?
Can we get him like a I should shed him like a rich as in show mug? You need your coffee in the morning. I don't think you should do that. Why not? Why not?
I don't know. I I want to show my love for them. Sure, when you've done it?
Okay. Yeah. But by talking about it? Yeah. That's awesome.
And being supportive. And you know. For me personally. This is big. Um Well, it kind of splits your house.
No, no, no, honestly. No, no, for me personally, for me personally. The fact that you broke this news to me. And not Xander, my 17-year-old, who is. A die-hard Died in the wool swifty.
Okay. Where he was also saying they're dropping Easter eggs, that they are going to get married. He's telling me this whole thing. Oh.
Okay. And, you know. And that this is happening. I'm sure it's going to happen. Maybe it's already happened, all this sort of stuff.
The fact that you're breaking this news to me and not. him what literally this is what's great news for me i know that no no no this is great news my phone hasn't been buzzing or anything that means that the new cell phone policy at his high school oh is working is working is working It's working. Oh, wow. There's a new policy there. And Susie and I, we'll be very honest.
We were a little, let's see how it works. Let's see what's going on. That's funny. The fact that we haven't gotten in all caps. Like, exclamation point, emojis, all that.
So, the fact that I haven't gotten that yet means. It's working.
So and I love it. There's a new relationship between Zan and his screen, and it's great for us. Do you think Stone Street knew this yesterday when we talked to him? I don't know. Maybe.
It's possible. He knows everything about everything involving the Chiefs. He does. This is great. Exoteric is the word, by the way.
Exoteric. That's right. Thank you, sir. That's what it was. I had to.
She used esoteric. Jason said there's no way Travis knows what it was, and Travis nailed. The definition, thus, the English teacher and the gym teacher. I think that's the. The reference, unless this is a lyric that I'm not.
No, I mean, he Travis literally looks like a gym teacher. He's living his best life, man. Looking like Mr. Peanut on the stage with now his fiancée in the artist tour. That's great.
I love it. I have some fantastic news on top of that. Oh, my God. What is happening? Hold on, do we need the update?
Do we need the breaking news? It's not that important. It's not as important as this. Oh, that's important. I just went back.
We just, me and Kutcher just went back to back. Oh, man, your pics are so good. Hold on a second. Let me just put the button on all this. Yes, please do.
Please do. You know, look, how soon until somebody's like, does this mean he's done playing? Or who's going to like he's going to have a better year? You know these questions are already being asked. There's probably, you can already bet on it, I'm sure, Chris.
Oh, I don't know. You know what I mean? Where are we going with that one? I mean, I can turn that on. You want me to turn it on?
Sure. Go ahead. What do you got?
Now he's even more distracted because he's got a plan. He's got to plan a wedding. What is going on? He's planning a wedding. Plan a wedding.
He's got a plan. He's got no say. He's got no say. I don't think there's no say, but I think there's.
Somebody who knows How to eventize? Who knows how to entertain, who knows how to, I think, style something up. I think there's somebody who's lame that is more. How can you say that? She's never been married before.
This is new. That's true. I don't think it's a marriage thing. I just think it's just a general, like, knows how to plan and make the most of things. I'm just saying she's got a knack for it.
I've sensed it. They should go on Bridezilla's. Isn't that a show? Yeah, were you twinning? Are you trying to show the wedding person?
Maybe he had a dream as a young man growing up and sharing a room with his brother about what his wedding day would look like. I'm sure. I'm sure. I think I have to officially put to bed that this is fake. Finally, officially officially I have to say that.
I mean, that's right. I'm surprised he didn't wait till the actual wedding to say that. I'm surprised he didn't wait till the actual wedding to say that. This is the could be quite the ruse. You show it, you should.
Before these beautiful photographs are not AI, Chris, you should. I mean, look, I can't rule anything out. I wasn't there, TJ. I don't know. I wasn't there.
I saw it at the same time you did. I wasn't the one that took the pictures. Maybe they were in love from the start. Or everybody else. That's Your problem.
Maybe they've been secretly dating even before. Who knows? Who cares? They're in love now, and it's awful. It's a rock right there.
And I can't wait to hear what Xander has to say. And the ultimate celebration is that the new cell phone policy in his school is working. That's a firewall right now. What? You should tear Xan right now.
Listen, listen, listen.
So that way, the first time he gets the news, even though he can't see it now, it'll be you were the one who kind of broke the news. I don't think his school is like the Chappelle show where they made them put it in a pouch and then pick it up. I think there is a way where he might feel it buzz or something. I'm not going to be the one. To No.
Okay, I thought they had to put them all the way. No, not even this, Frisander, raises to the level of me having to break that wall. No.
Okay. Not at all. We'll talk about it later. They're not going to have second thoughts between now and his. Arrival back at home later this afternoon.
I have a feeling I just again have a sense that yes, it's not fake. It's real, and it has been from the start. And everybody else is going to have a problem with her aggregate 20 to 30 seconds of airtime during the game. Guess what?
Well, each quarter. By the way, also, if you've got some bad news or you're a company, you want to news dump something right now, go ahead, because nobody's paying attention to anything else. Yeah. Sign Micah. This is breaking some news right now.
By the way, this is when you call the agent. There's no chance of that happening now because it's like so. Guess what?
Micah Parsons in the next 72 hours. Let's hit them all now. Why we got there? We ain't going to have time to hit them all. Hit them all.
No, we've got the muscle. Great use of that one, Mike.
Well done. Drop some bad news. Let's go. Terzo and Iowa. Let's get that phone call.
Walrus, what's up, Terzo? What's up, guys, man? That's hilarious. But congratulations to Taylor, Trash. I knew that.
I've been doing this real the whole entire time, Brockman. You did that? Turzo's the one who also for Taylor Swift TJ. Should have gone. I know.
Turzo understands. Yeah, let's get Kelsey. Let's get Travis planning the wedding. Let's sideline Taylor. Get out of here.
What's up, Terry?
So Rich, so I got a couple of things for you. One, I was going to see if you guys got any of the names for my fantasy team for the Carls League. And two, I have the second overall pick in the league. And I was going to see who you guys would suggest for me to take.
Okay. All right, so second overall in the sleeper league that we just went second, which allowed us to get Jameer Gibbs slipping down at five. Gibbs bumped down to us at five.
Okay, but is it a like scoring? Yeah, what's the score? Do you get points for catches? Yeah, so BPR. Full point.
Sixteen uh sixteen rounds. I'm keeping bow nicks. Uh, with the fifth in the 15th round as my keeper. Nice, nice bet. Nice, good night.
Sweet. McCaffrey may not be that bad. You know, Terza, you're a Niner fan if he's going to be a focal part of the passing offense, as we know. Yeah. I mean, it's early, but it's a big swing.
Yeah, I'd rather be aware. I risk high reward. Correct. Are you of the mindset, Terzo, that you want to. Play fantasy with people that you root for all the time.
You know what I mean? So if that's the case, then. Snag McCaffrey, but why would you give him that advice when Whoever in the Sleeper League snagged McCaffrey second overall, you got. Your eyes wide as a saucer, Chris, and say thank you. What a mistake that was.
So now Terzo's calling in, you're telling him to do it? I don't know. Why why not? It's fun. It's a big swing.
Bijan. He can either win you the league or he can lose you the league.
So that's the typical part of it. I got it. And you guys are going to have the other guy that I was looking at on the show here coming up soon.
Well, Laur Gibbs. Bijan, just by the way, we just heard that he's stuck in a practice and will not join us at the top of the third hour. We'll get him on another day. But, Terzo, how about this? I'm going to say this and then you call back anytime soon.
Uh Saquon. I don't understand this too. Thanks for the call, Teresa. Why Why is Saquon downgraded? Because it had the greatest season in running back history, arguably.
I should say, arguably, first as opposed to retroactively, but arguably had it. And And came through it with flying colors. Right? Where the Assuming that everyone who did get banged up in the preseason will be ready for week one. In a couple of Thursdays, nine days from now.
And hurts. This hurts. And everybody else is everybody else. And they're essentially running it back with the exception of the offensive coordinator. And Saquon.
What? We're just saying it's just he can't do it again, so we're Don't draft him first overall in fantasy. Don't draft him second. Like, why wouldn't you take Saquon second? If you think that you're in a PPR league, you take Jamar Chase because he's going to have a billion catches.
In the history of the league, players who have rushed for 2,000 yards and had the type of usage that Saquon has had has had a pretty drastic regression the year after.
So you're just kind of playing the math and playing the numbers on that. Do you have the ability to, I don't know, um What look it up real quick. The best. follow-up season to a 2,000-yard season, what it was? I think it might have been Terrell Davis.
No, I think it might have been Chris Johnson. I don't know what Chris is saying is entirely true because I'm looking at this. You look at the 2,000-yard rushers, right? O.J. had 2,000 follow-up by 1,100 yards.
So that's not, I mean, it's a drop-up, but not significant. Carso, 14 games, right? Wasn't the full 16 either. CJ Dukay went for 1,300 yards the year after he, so you know, a drop, but you got more of them?
Well, Jamal Lewis, I don't think, had a massive season. Eric Dickerson went down to 1,200 yards, but then he jumped up the following year to 1,800.
Well, we're talking about the follow-up year just for fantasy purposes, but I understand. I think it's Barry Sanders, actually. He went for 2,000, and then the last year of his career, he went for almost 15, 14, 91, and then retired. Wouldn't you say that that's a great second overall fantasy? Wouldn't you want to draft someone 1,500 yards, second overall fantasy?
Yes, but the drop-off from 2,000 and whatever down to 15, I mean, that's a 25% drop-off. Yeah, but still, 1,500 yards is still years. still taught Three rushers in the league. Like Terrell Davis was the only one who truly had a drop off because he went. Also, you know that Saquon is going to get potentially half of the potential touchdowns.
Vultured by Jalen Hurts.
Now that I understand. That one I get. That one again. The number of times Saquon brings it down to the one inside the two, and it's like, all right, let's push it in. He's still at third.
I don't know. I just think you swing for a massive upside. You know, CMC is a huge swing, but Bajan, Jameer Gibbs, those seem a little bit safer. Who are the two you just selected back to back with Ashton Genty? Oh, we got CeeDee Lamb and Ashton Genty.
Oh, so Ashton gets an Ashton. How about that? Hey, and a TJ gets a C D. There we go. All right.
This is okay.
So you went wide receiver running back. That's not bad.
Now, are you doing this on your own or is Ashton texting you? Is he involved right now? He's FaceTimed me twice. During the show? I'm like, bro, you know, why don't you pop him on?
On the FaceTime? Yes? 100%. What do you mean? What are you talking about?
Because you were in the middle of an interview the first time.
Okay. And then the second time we were.
Next time he does this.
Okay. Unless we're on with Namdi Asamwa. You got to say. I'm answering it. 100%.
I mean, he knows I'm kind of busy right now, so I don't know why he would FaceTime. This guy over here, like, okay, you drive Miela's car. You can answer this FaceTime and talk about these people because you're like tight with them. Why do you, this is not fight club when it comes to them. I don't understand it.
It's like, have I not taught you about anything about the importance of name-dropping? We are. I'm at work, Rich.
Okay. I'm at work. Oh, I understand. Talking about a fantasy draft. I mean, it's not like you honestly, it's not.
It's not rocket science. It's not like you're literally landing the rocket. I just make it out to be rocket science. You're literally on a show at work where you can talk about this.
Well, he literally just texted me and said, let's only take players with dreads.
So that's kind of fun.
So who's next on that list? I mean, you have a shot at Brock Bowers. Yeah, that's true. You guys are idiots. That's funny.
Let's talk O'Reilly Auto Parts, people. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. OOOORILY Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need for all your maintenance and repairs. They've got thousands of parts and accessories in stock, either in store or online, so you never have to worry if you're in a jam. The team at O'Reilly Auto Parts can also test your battery for free in or out of your car.
If it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find just the right battery for your vehicle. Need your windshield wipers replaced, a brake-like fixed, or a quick service?
Well, they'll help you find the right part or point you to the nearest local repair shop for help. I know because it's happened to me. The professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts are your one-stop shop for all things auto-do-it-yourself. And you can find what you need in store or online. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com/slash Eisen.
That's O'ReillyAuto.com. dot com slash eisen. Getting the song out of Yeah. Welcome to the end of summer sale at AutoZone. We're celebrating the end of long days and short nights with big deals for a short time.
Like Car Wash, right now you can save 20% on an ArmourAll complete car wash kit. Need new brakes? Duralast brake pads are free with the purchase of Duralast rotors. We've also got oil deals and more. We're ending the summer right with the end of summer sale.
at AutoZone. Getting the zone Restrictions apply. All right, we've been doing this in a while. I got two residual checks. Oh, yes.
Oh, thank you. Let's do a residual rich. Let's hit it. Pay that men his money. Since it's only a choice of two and you can't take the middle envelope, I'm not going to ask TJ.
Yo. One, like two? Yo. Envelope one. All right, everybody.
I like this. This is this is an underrated uh prices right here. Exactly. I'm using a different range. Puppy dog pals, the buckboard, um, TJ, you're first.
I'm going to go with $1.12. $1.12 for TJ Jefferson. That's low for the park. That's so low. Poppy dog pound.
Will you second? What do you got for me? I'm gonna do... $13.87. $13.87.
Closest without going over, Mike Del Tufo. $250. $250. All right. Here everybody.
Nobody saw what I just did there, which is kind of a good idea. Gentlemen, the actual retail check. Chris Brockman, you're a winner. It is. $14.68.
All right. Everyone thought it was a good one. You saw what I did, right? I did. Taylor Swift's favorite number is 13 and Kelsey's 87.
Come on, people. Come on, connect some dots. Straight from the headlines. It's a winner. I'll do one more.
Do we have time for one more? No, nice music change. Yeah. Envelope number two. Wait a minute.
I. RJ gave me an Aaron Judge. I didn't have it. I didn't have a winner somewhere. All right, here we go.
CSI Miami Deep Freeze. Oh, Deep Freeze. This is great. This is going to be great. What a big finish this is.
Chris, you go first. 87 cents. 87 cents. TJ Jefferson. TJ Jefferson.
I'm going to stick with that 112. 112.
Well done. Well done. Thank you. TJ Jefferson with 112. DJ Mikey D is in DJ.
115. 115. What are we doing? You guys are all over. This is outstanding.
This is the ultimate sucker collection. Ladies and gentlemen, from this one everybody was overside Miami. It is. One center for a penny. Wait a second.
It's for a penny. You got a free crew, I got it. Seriously, I'm Petty? What do you have for Tuke Freeze? One nickel?
Wow. They're all over. I mean, that is one cent. They mailed that for a penny. What are we doing?
We lost. They lost 54 cents? That's what I mean. You know what I mean? What do we do?
It's insane. I spent 45 cents on the appendix. Direct deposit these. Come on, change the way they do this. Guys, how many one cent?
How many one cents? I'm very offended by this. How do I know? Because it's nuts. How many one cent paper checks do you see?
That's what I'm saying. I've heard many stories about this, but this is the first time I've actually seen it. Man, if you ever meet Caruso, you got to get him to sign that.
So between the bark bowl. Of $14.68. Barkbow and CSL Miami, $14.69. Say it, you know you want to say it. Nice.
I'm waiting for Mike to stop laughing. I'm sorry. Gosh. Very good. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Don't say that. We like Mike's laugh. People love Mike's laugh. Mike's laugh. Were you making fun of me?
Yes, I'm trying to get you to pause so I can do the nice. It's okay. Go ahead. It's a Nice God. Hello.
I'm already getting texts from people saying, Can you bring me to the wedding? I'm not getting, I don't, I mean, like, how do I get invited? Why am I invited? Are there gonna be like 8 million people at this wedding? I don't know.
It's going to be on the other side. All I know is, if I am invited to this wedding, I'm going to pull my hat down so nobody sees me. Rairons. Nobody knows it's you. Nobody knows it's me.
Nobody cares about this game. Very good. Back on the Rich Eisen Show Radio Network.
Okay, let's go to Darkside Dawn in Las Vegas, Nevada. We haven't spoken to Darkside Dawn in quite some time. What's up, Darkside Dawn? What's going on? I just got back in the country so Just Pretty much.
I was in Egypt. Oh, oh. You weren't deported there, were you? Yeah. Sorry, straight from the headlines.
All right, Dark Side Don, welcome back. Thank you. What's going on? I mean too tall. Pause on the radar topic.
Oh.
Mm. kind of got a little hype on the latest. We didn't do so how. And when people, you know, kind of hype up the latest, we don't do so hot. I need everybody to pause or get the raiders or act like the raiders don't even exist.
But why do you say that, Darkseid Don? Because I mean, you know, Pete Carroll's a guy who could keep the noise out. Like, it's not like they're going to believe hype and then suddenly not perform well. And plus, I think you're referring to something that Chiefs Nation still won't let me live down, nor the guys here in the room. which is that I said that the Raiders were going to win the division.
Which I didn't say. The chi ch chief fans are petty anyway. We're not going to even talk and expose their pettiness because they always are. But the thing is Right. For for raider fans?
We get excited every year. You know what I mean? Yeah, I sound like. the cowboys. Guess the idea.
But it's For us, it's like, okay, we're going to go above five. It so for us, this might actually be that time. I'm considering it that time, but I don't want people to actually be like. Hey, the Raiders look good. No, no, no.
I want everybody to continue to think that the Raiders are going to suck.
So then, when we actually do something, Everybody's a favorite. It it it appeals to everyone. The leak is a better league when the Raiders are winners.
So I just need everybody to pump the brakes a little bit.
So that, you know, that's that. that so that the raiders can actually do their thing. And be on the dosing. Why is it every time that Every year, the Broncos are always above the raiders when just last year is the first time they beat us in eight years. in a row.
I I don't get that.
So for me, That y'all keep putting hype on the old.
Well, I guess they deserve it, even though I don't like it, but y'all keep putting hype on the cheeks. You keep putting hype on the Broncos. You keep putting hype on the Charlie. Leave the Raiders on the side and let them do their thing. You know what?
I'm not going to allow that, dark side, Don. I'm going to have you play the win-loss game for the Las Vegas Raiders right now. I I haven't even did that. I've never done it this year. I know that.
It's too bad. You're going to have to because you've just earned it. You're up now, Donald. The music: The Autumn Wind is a Pirate. The Autumn Wind is Dark Side Dunk.
But it starts. on the Sunday after the de facto end of summer. Yeah. What happens when the Raiders go visit New England to start the season, Darkside Dawn? Remember what I told you.
The Raiders don't do so hot on this east coast, but I'm sorry, Chris. We're going to have to get a double ticket. That's 1-0 for the Chargers on a Monday night. What happens next? The Chargers on a Monday night, we play the Chargers at home for the first time.
So I'm going to say this one's going to be a dub. That's 2-0 at the Commanders. That's the AL. Two in one home for the bears. We wanted that, what about two and two in one home for the Bears?
Mm-hmm. Uh For the bears. I'm going to take the L on that one. Oh, okay. Two and two at the Colts.
That's three and two home for the Titans. You know, I'm I'm I'm going to follow your lead. I kind of like the hype on the rookie, so I'm going to say that's an L. Wow, three and three at the Chiefs. Three and four off to buy home for the Jaguars.
That's the duh. 4-4 at the Broncos on a Thursday night short week. At the Broncos short week, that's an ale. Four and five, home for the Cowboys on a Monday night. I want a ticket for that game.
Yeah. That's a dub.
Sorry, TJ. You don't have to apologize. You speak with your chest, dark side, John. Dark side, Don, you speak with your chest. Five and five, home for the Browns.
Say that again, 5-5, home for the Browns. Six and five at the Chargers. Yeah, I want us to break that LA loss record, man. I'm going to say that's a dub. That's 7-5, home for the Broncos.
You set me up, man. I'm just reading the schedule. That that's that I'm gonna take an L on that one. Mm. It's not.
at the Philadelphia Eagles. That's an AL. All right, you're now seven and eight at the Texans. Oh man, now you're seven and eight. Home for the Giants.
Eight and eight. Home for the Chiefs. That's a doubt. All right, there you go. Nice, confident finish.
Dark side Don says 9-8. See? Can I can I can like give us a wild call? Sure, why not? Congrats You got it.
Oh, what you got it? Darkside Down in Las Vegas. All right, well done. He didn't expect to do it. He said I was setting him up.
All I was doing is he's saying, like, don't talk about our team. And he said, nine and eight. Can I get in the playoffs? Sure. Why not?
I'm a giver. I don't think 9-8 is going to make the playoffs. You are a giver. Last year, 9-8 did not make the playoffs. Cincinnati 9-1.
I know. 9-8 and. Yeah. Boy, he's got them being swept by the Broncos. Everybody's in on the Broncos.
Yeah. Ah, it gives me pause. You know what? Because everybody says that... Maybe they deserve it.
I'm not saying they don't deserve it. They're definitely a team on the rise. But everyone being on the wagon is a little, is just like, eh. If there's anybody that makes sure that the team will not be. reading into that.
I think Sean Payton can do it. You know, the whole conversation that you hear, like, oh, don't, again. Don't hire anybody That's going to cause a distraction in your locker room if it's a 53rd man on the roster, if it's a 45th man on the roster. I don't buy that. You run your own locker room.
You run your own team. You can also Run your own press conference. You know, I don't buy that sort of thing. And the whole business of, oh, God, everybody believes it, so the team won't perform very well. Is maybe an indication of groupthink.
People don't think groupthink is. Accurate? I get that. But Sean Payton is not going to let something filter in the locker room and then all of a sudden they play down to the Titans. No, that's true.
That's true. Right. And last year was real, and they got better. They're definitely better. That kid, Jodi Barron, that they drafted is really good.
And the other guy, one defensive player of the year, and that front seven is a. Tough. Handle. They added Evan Ingram and the passport. RJ Harvey, yeah.
Really good offensive line. We know how good the defense is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
J.K. Dobbins as well. Yep.
Which is great. Portnoy can go to Denver and watch him play. It's true. Right. Deion will let him in for Big Noon Fox if they're in Colorado.
Right. Some Oh, I'm sorry. It's Fox's decision. My bad. I'm so sorry.
My apologies. Hour three coming up. Ready? What's wrong with you, man? Deanna's name is starting quarterback.
Huh? Cadence Salter is going to start for Buffalo. What is it? You say Shafter's reporting as a cowboy trainer? Or you got hosed?
Huge. What is it? You ready for this? Jonathan Mingo has been traded away? No.
Oh, okay. Mike? Here it comes. And Maria is seat. How boys?
Sending offensive lineman Astim Richards to the New Orleans States. Per source. Per source source. That's my favorite. That's the scared and source.
Per Cowboys get back a 28 sixth-round pick. Oh, man. Sit on that one. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. So, three drafts from now. There's a freshman in college out there. Yeah, high school senior, maybe.
Okay, there you go. Big time stuff. Congratulations. Thank you. I mean, I'm sad to see him go.
Just chill. Just chill. Nothing's gonna happen. Oh, yeah, not for three days at least. Three?
Are you kidding me? What I'm saying, though, this is going next week. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is the engagement news cycle is going to last 72 hours so we can. Make sure we're not going to hear anything. Let me tell you how this is going to happen.
Nothing's going to happen over the weekend. No.
Okay? Saturday's all going to be about Corso in the morning. Oh, yeah. And, you know, if. Day Portnoy not being allowed in the horseshoe.
Or I'm sorry, Fox. Deciding he's not going to be in stadiums. I'm sorry. You are obsessed with this. No, I'm not obsessed.
I'm just trying to be accurate. Then the game, by the way, which will make everybody forget about everything else between Texas and. And the Ohio State. And then the rest of the college football weekend is going to go. And Monday night is Belichick's first game is the North Carolina.
Monday night, standalone. There's going to be all of that. And then everyone's going to be talking about the new episode of Overreaction Monday season preview that comes out Monday morning. And then Tuesday is going to hit. And it's going to be reports all over the place from all the information men and women that Jerry still hasn't reached out to the agent, and the agent and Jerry have not spoken, and nothing's moved.
And it's going to be like, Micah, are you going to get. on the plane. That's the way it's going to go. That's the way it's going to go. Yeah, I can't see it happening any other way.
I don't think it's going to be like what happened with McLaurin or what happened with Trey Hendrickson, that all of a sudden you're just seeing. reports that it's done. I don't see that.
So he's not on the plane, and then Wednesday morning, you know, or Thursday morning, he signs a deal and takes a PJ to Philadelphia. And then he doesn't play. Remember when Chris Jones didn't play the opener? I don't know. Same type of deal.
Maybe he can land by parachute in the middle of before the game. You know, the national anthem. He parachutes in and he's in full uniform and he goes plays for the Cowboys. He signs a contract as he's coming down from the anthem. Hey folks, let me tell you that drinking and driving is a decision that will change your whole world.
Things will never be the same once you get a DUI because legal fees and time in court are just the beginning. Getting into a crash is another way your world could be irreversibly changed after drinking and driving. Your vehicle may not be the only thing that gets damaged in that crash. You could face a life-altering injury or even death, but... You're not the only one who could face those consequences.
Your decision to drink and drive could permanently change someone else's world, whether you injure them or leave their loved ones grieving. The next time you're out drinking, call a ride share, a taxi, a sober friend, or a designated sober driver. Always plan for a safe ride home. The only decision that will change your world for the better is the decision to call for a sober ride. it is never worth it to drive drunk.
Don't risk it. Drive sober. or get pulled over. Paid for by NHTSA.
