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Selection varies by location. This is the Rich Eisen Show. Live from the Rich Eisen Show studio in Los Angeles. I'm not sure yet.
For some reason, if Rogers decides to not play football or the Steelers decide to hedge a bet, there's really only one option remaining. Live from the show, ESPN NBA insider Brian Windhorst, actor and producer Elizabeth Banks, still to come, actor and comedian Jeff Garland. And now, it's Rich Eisen.
Oh yes, indeed. Fun show already, Brian Windhorst, hour number one. Elizabeth Banks in studio hour two. We didn't also include that third part of her slash actress, producer, director as well.
And we also had a great celebrity, true or false, with her. If you missed any of it, we re-air right here on the Roku channel. There's also our podcast version of the show, all three hours, wherever you can get your podcasts. Also, there's our YouTube channel, youtube.com slash Rich Eisen Show. We slice up a lot of stuff.
You can go down a wormhole, make sure you have some time. If you catch that algorithm later on, if you miss any part of the show, just had a nice chat once again with one of our favorites, Jeff Garland is back here. He's wearing what appears to be a Mitchell and Ness old school Ron Santo Cubs home jersey. Nice.
That's cool. It felt flannel. It felt like something from the eight men out era. I know it's the wrong side of Chicago with that. But Jeff Garland will be out here in studio hour number three. He's touring the country with his stand-up act. So we'll let you know where you can catch Jeff around the country when we catch up with him later on in this hour.
844-204 Rich is the number to dial here on this busy Wednesday show. Women's Sports Now will be recording later on today. Kylie Kelsey is their guest. That episode will air tonight, midnight, on the Roku channel. So that'll be exciting.
Suz will be stopping by as well. It's time to go around the National Football League on a rookie update. And of course, it starts in Tennessee. The Tennessee Titans have chosen to split reps with Cam Ward. Very simple question.
What gives? Right now, there's a whole lot of rotation going on at all positions. So there's guys that you might see out there with the ones or with the twos.
It's really irrelevant at this point in time. All guys are rotating. They're all going through the process.
There is no ones, twos, starters, not. All that stuff is what you see is going to be a rotation and whatever you see today might be different tomorrow. So I wouldn't read too much into who goes when and why at this point.
It's sort of irrelevant to our process. There's a plan in place for all the quarterbacks. OK. That's the way Brian Callahan started his press conference. That was without a question being asked.
Interesting. And for those on the radio, when he said ones and twos, he used the air quotes. Air quotes. You know, like for instance, Mike, you are our audio executive. Is that wrong or is that right? Yeah, that's right.
There's other people that do it. But for the radio audience, I used air quotes. You saw me use an air quote. You don't want to be referred to an air quote.
I don't want an air quote. Cam Ward is our first overall quarterback. Pay no attention to the rotation in Tennessee. Guess what? Apparently you should not pay attention to that in Cleveland either. Cleveland Browns have, let me write this, I wrote it down somewhere.
A gajillion quarterbacks. Accurate. Do you like that bit?
Accurate. I knew what you were doing as soon as you started it. I do dig deep. Let me write this down. I wrote it somewhere bit. I like it.
Normally I do have my glasses on. It helps. It adds to the bit. Browns have a lot of quarterbacks. They have a lot of quarterbacks. A lot of young quarterbacks. They got two rookies, not one, but two, including the one that they said they had a draft because of such great value on Chidor Sanders. They helped create by passing on him multiple times, including drafting Dylan Gabriel in front of him. And then there's Kenny Pickett.
It's still just 26. Kenny Pickett. You know what I mean? Super Bowl champion Kenny Pickett. Victory formation.
That's what I mean. Kenny Pickett. Take that away from him. On his hand. That should be his nickname.
Victory formation. Yeah. He's out there with his hamburger helper gloves.
His small hands. I didn't say that. You did.
Oh, sorry. Hamburger helper gloves. You can count on that hand the number of quarterbacks they have. The fourth one that we're mentioning is Joe Flacco. Joe Flacco. He got the first team reps today. But like in Tennessee, where they drafted just the one quarterback. First team reps. But they're giving him half the reps. I feel like the old Chris Farley.
I have a weight problem. I've got a quarterback issue. We have two quarterbacks.
One of whom every knows we're going to start. Don't pay attention to the rotation in Cleveland either. Don't pay attention. Mixing it up every single day. So that's why I tell you not to read much into it. Even though you guys don't listen to me. But we're just trying to get guys exposure to different concepts. Those type of things. So it varies by walkthrough.
It can vary by drill. It's not something that we're really. We're not leaning into or worried about the order at this moment. Don't worry about the order. Pay no attention. Don't worry about it. Guys, don't worry about the order. Are you worried about the order?
Not at all. Okay. That's good. Because you're not supposed to. And can confirm, Kevin.
We're not listening to you. Right. Cam Ward starting week one. Joe Flacco starting week one. Oh, I see.
I don't know about the second one. Cam Ward starting week one. Joe Flacco starting.
I think I might take that action. Excuse me. Cam Ward starting week one. That I can.
That I'm most positive. Joe Flacco starting week one. That I do not know about. It will be the battle of the Joes.
Not like slow horses. I'm not sure. Battle of the Joes. Flacco v. Burrow. Week one. Gonna happen.
All right. According to the desert, the odds are creeping closer. Joe Flacco plus 116.
Kenny Pickett plus 200. What is it? It's close. What do you mean? They're not listening. They're not.
They're paying attention. But they know stuff. Yeah. You know what I mean?
No stuff. Gross. He's right. My God. The air quotes are everywhere right now. He thinks they know everything.
I do. They don't build new buildings out there just for fun. Joe Flacco is starting week one. There's no reason. There's no reason to start the rookies.
There just isn't. There isn't a reason to start the rookie. If you're living and dying with the rookie, how long do you stick with them? Who's making the roster? Who's on the practice squad? I'm telling you.
That's why you got Kenny. Flacco says he's, you know, they, they, they, let me get this quote right. I don't want to paraphrase it. The NFL network sent it to me and I should utilize this sort of stuff because it's right here in my phone. I mean, people are doing their jobs.
They're sending you emails. Fun to get out there and play a little football again, said Flacco today. Just from experience. I think the young guys tend to get a kick out of me because I'm 40 years old and could be their father probably. He's not wrong. He's definitely not wrong. Well, biologically speaking. I mean, yeah.
The science. Listen, clearly Flacco's not Chador's father because that's part of the reason why maybe they didn't draft Chador is who his daddy was, apparently. That's why he dropped all the way. Yeah. Yeah. Because Chador's dad would like pop up on the field, get into the face of the opposing teams star player and wave a flag with his son. Oh, wait a minute.
He didn't do that. Well, Dion's the problem when it comes to Chador, but when it comes to Travis Hunter, he's the Sherpa, right? He's the one who cut this diamond from the rough and sending it to the national football league in his image. If Chador's in Dion's image, this is all the wrong image stuff. But hey, Dion's sending Travis Hunter to the next level in his image. Jimmy Horn Jr. Oh my goodness gracious.
Dion knows what he's doing when it comes to Travis Hunter. Liam Cohen. I mean, it's interesting how we're looking at reps being reps being split. Liam Cohen. When it comes to quarterbacks, first or second string.
You like that, Chris? When it comes to, you know, Travis Hunter, we're looking about how are they splitting reps on offense and defense, right? A different sort of rep splitting situation.
Let's see how things are going down and the team down by the river in Duval. Is it better a little bit for him to not have him go offense defense on the same day to give him a certain number of days on defense and then one day on offense? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we won't put him in that situation to have him do that. Although I'm sure he'd probably want to. Yeah, I'm sure. But at the end of the day, it's trying to, you know, he still meets defensively every day that he's on offense. So he's getting the mental part of it and being able to catch up on some of the communication, some of the corrections off the film from the defensive side of the ball.
So he's getting a lot of the mental and it would probably be unfair to put him out on the grass and do both and ask him to go do that and see success. You know, I don't know why. You know why?
Here's why. It's just late May guys. It's late May. Don't pay attention to that either. He's getting the mental in the meeting room.
What the hell? I'll call a shot here too. Jacksonville Jaguars week one. I'm setting the number of snaps for Travis Hunter in week one, because at some point you're going to have to put them out there, offense and defense in the same day. And that day is week one home against Carolina.
We're going to see it. Number of snaps. I'm setting at 65 over under week one, Travis Hunter, 65 snaps over. I was going to say 80. 80 is a lot, pal. That means he plays every rep on offense and a quarter to maybe half the reps on defense.
That's a lot. Why'd you trade up for him then? Well, you got to work him in, you got to figure it out because you're not going to do it in the preseason. You're not going to see it. You will not see Travis Hunter fully uncorked, unwrapped till week one, you're not going to see it. But he'll play offense and defense in the preseason. Maybe, but not to the tune of what we're talking about in week one.
No, but maybe one game he plays offense. You're taking the over. You're taking the over.
I'll take the over. So where do you set the line? Well, I was going to say, what is the average snaps in a game is what? Well, I mean, it's 60 probably. If a team has a great day on offense, you're going to get 65, 70, maybe 80. That's insane snaps.
It won't be every single one of them. So that's 120 to 130 plays per game. Yeah. I'll say he plays two thirds of that. Yeah. I'm say 80. TJ.
I mean numbers. You guys lost me with that over under this guy over there. Take a stand, man.
You got a damn stick in your hand. Take a stand. Over. Okay. Thank you. That was, was that that tough? No, no.
Really? I got to revisit it later though. That's okay. It doesn't matter. It does matter.
I don't like giving false info. Excuse me. But we have to accept from one of the 32 head coaches of the national football league, not to pay attention to anything that goes on and may stand on the same principle held to a higher standard here at the rich guys, are we not? We can do the same thing. Okay. So from now on, nothing we say we're accountable for that's not true. We'll see. That's right.
Here's how it works. TJ. TJ. TJ. TJ.
TJ. Here's how it works. If we're right, we had the foresight.
If we're wrong, it never happens. Yep. Exactly.
I hate that. I tell Sue's this all the time when we're looking at whatever, because the kids look at some of the comments, they're like you. You're like our children.
They look at the comments about what they say about mom and dad. Well, how could you not? If it's good, it's praise.
If it's bad, it's called engagement. That's how it works. That's how I live my life.
So go ahead. Well, I made a lot of your opinion now. I made a lot of bad calls in the wrestling part of last night.
We'll bring it back. If it's wrong, it's never happened. And plus you heard from some of the most trusted names in the business. Don't pay attention. Don't read anything into it, but we're saying it over. Now Travis Hunter.
Who just got married this weekend. Hey, I saw that. I saw that.
Let's see how that works. Mazel. What is that? I mean T.J. What does that mean? I don't know. T.J.'s taking the under there.
Can you play both sides of the aisle is that what it was? I don't know. I speak T.J., but I'll save that for off air. This guy.
I wish him the best, man. Yes, we do. You guys. You know?
I don't think in old school. Don't do it. You guys.
I'm the only married one here. That's true. Legally. I mean, you've got a... Legally.
I'm out of the state of California. I probably would consider married. Excellent. Yeah. All right.
I'm married to myself. And you're happy. So, you know.
I am very happy. Yeah. Seriously? You guys are idiots. What's wrong with you guys? I mean... You are happy. That's... No.
You need to stop talking. By the way. All I know is I survived when you were in here. I survived.
Susie's sitting in that chair. And Josh Duhamel coming in here looking all handsome and talking about my testosterone levels. I survived that. Okay?
Wow. You've got to have a thick skin. You've got to have a very strong marriage. Low body fat. How did that come up? Low teeth.
Because that's what he was here to sell. Hey, Chris. Can you guess who had high testosterone?
I'm guessing Josh Duhamel. No. In this room. Don't tell two folks.
Taking injections. Oh, my God. All right. I had no idea. All right.
Jeff Garland, come on out here. I'll let you play. Sorry. I forgot air quotes.
Hoskins is like, roll your brain. You got it. I got it.
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See store or sleepnumber.com for details. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistants' assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today.
I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile.com slash switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first three months only then full price plan options available taxes and fees extra default terms at mintmobile.com. He's been on this show multiple times, but it's the first time he's appeared on the Rich Eisen Show with something in common with the Pope. Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff Garland is here on the Rich Eisen Show. Yes, because the bears, not the socks, obviously. No, but Chicago. But I love the way the Cubs fans initially thought, oh, wow, you know, and they were so wrong. Yeah.
The guy's online in a, with his grandson at a Sox game. Yeah. It's exciting. He's from Chicago. Everyone did assume it was going to be Cubs and then it just, it kind of was like the ultimate curve ball. It was, it's yeah, I know plenty of diehard Sox fans.
You do it, but yeah. Good to see you. Good to see you too.
A pleasure to be here. Look at you and your Ron Santo. I have actually something interesting to say about Ron Santo. So every year I sing, take me out to the ball game. And for many years now, and Ron was doing radio with Pat Hughes, WGN.
And I love Pat Hughes, hall of Famer. And so Ron was, you know, doing the radio and I go in and I talk with him. I have so much, and I would imitate Santo.
Sam, he used to do these, these commercials for Seattle Sutton, this food delivery thing. And Ron, what's your, what's your favorite? And he'd go, Acapulco taco pie. I guess that was an actual thing. So I must've said, Acapulco taco pie.
That episode, every episode I never stopped. And I heard that in the truck outside of Brinkley Field, it was shaking. They were laughing so hard. Anyhow, here's the point of the story. Not that, not that I'm so funny. So when I left and I was done and I'm going over to sing, Ron Santo would get up to say goodbye.
And that's really kind. You stand up here, gentlemen. He had no legs. Yeah, I remember. He stood up to say goodbye every time to anyone, I assume, with no legs.
It's inexcusable not to stand up and anyone approaches you and say, nice to meet you. Well, you're the man. Jeff Garland here on the Rich Eisen Show. You didn't really enjoy that story as much as I thought you would. I love this story, Jeff. Yeah, but you moved on as opposed to examining it.
No, my radio audience just returned in the middle of all of it. And by the way, I'm wearing my Chicago Bears. You got your footwear.
Yeah, they're official Chicago Bears, Nikes, and I got my Cubs thing on because I told you that's what I want to talk about. You have the floor. All right.
Well, let's just start with Caleb Williams because this has got me crazy. So he said what he said. His father said what he said, right? It's not only true what they said.
It's 900 million percent true. And we've had two good. We had one great quarterback and one great for a short period.
Jim McMahon and Sid Luckman for a franchise like the Bears. That's insanity. Yes, that's insanity. Agreed. And that is where quarterbacks go to die. I've seen them all die. Caleb Williams is a dream.
Caleb Williams watching film alone by himself. And by the way, Shane Waldron's your offensive coordinator. OK, I don't want to get into the head coach. So he so he not only was right, he was proven right. No, but later on, but I've proven right. He was right when when I heard the dad say that and I thought, oh, we got to get him.
Please don't. You know, and, you know, try and wiggle your way in a manning way out of it. But he came. And now it's looking like a great choice, correct? But Eber Flus knows so much about the quarterback position. And did you did you watch the what's that show on HBO, Hard Knocks? Hard Knocks. Did you watch the Bears Hard Knocks? On occasion?
I did. The most I'm a Bears fan, the most boring hard knocks. It was like dig into Eber Flus's personality. And then he would meet with Caleb Williams to discuss what he was doing right or wrong. And Caleb Williams was sober. Yes, sir. And I go, this kid's going to die.
This kid is just he's he's doing his best to dive into the crappiest situation. Nothing was said about the other players on the team. Nothing was said about the quality of the defense or the offense.
Quarterback specific. So the fact that any bear fan, any real true bear fan who knows what they're talking about, because they are passionate, agrees with it 100 percent. And yeah, I just think that, you know, come on. This is it's infuriating that like what? What are the bear fans going to do? What's the press?
The fact that they even quest questions. What do you think about what your father like? He hasn't done a press conference yet, but it's like, what? What is the coach going to say? He's laughing about it. You know, he can't say that the previous regime sucked. He can't do that.
No, and he won't because he didn't do it at all. Last year, which is, again, to his credit, that what I we learned about it live on the air, we were reading the story live on the air and reacting to it live on the air. And my first thought was like, oh, you know, Bears fans will not like hearing this about their organization.
Then midway through, I'm like, well, actually, this is what they've been saying about their own organization. I don't know bear fans echoing it. He's echoing it back and that was proven correct by the circumstances of the season and not once while he was getting his ass beat.
Did he make mention whatsoever about any of his reservations? He was a pro. He was a pro at his rookie season. The guy was a pro.
He got his ass beaten. My God. But now they do seem to have the right coach. They really do. We haven't seen it yet.
No, no, no, no, no. And what they added with the offense. And I agree with you. Loveland is going to be a monster. And and they already had a great tight end.
So it's going to be two tight ends are going to be really good friends for him, certainly as they, as he goes through and we've got Luther Perkins later than I call him that Luther Perkins, as if he has his own comedy show that Luther Perkins, it'd be great if he was funny. By the way, I want to say something. I did get a little excited there, but this is my first appearance since I've been diagnosed bipolar. So my mania in the past may not have been from excitement and actually from a mental health issue.
I had no idea. Well, yeah, I don't I'm I'm not afraid to share it wherever I share it. But when I think about appearances on talk shows and I watch them, I go, oh, you poor guy. You poor guy. You're out of control. The worst appearance I ever had, which happened like three years ago, celebrity. That's the one with the guest, the letters, my brain, we have celebrity Wheel of Fortune and there was no point during the show. And I'm not exaggerating because I watched it and cried once I was like, watch it back.
Yeah. When I knew what was going on, because there was no moment where I wasn't and I was funny. See, that's the thing that saved me as being funny. But I just thought this guy, it's so sad. I felt so sad watching that. You know what, during the thing, Donny Osmond was one of the celebrities. And do you know how many times I went, you're Donny Osmond. And so I was funny, but it was sad.
It was so sad. I told you the first time I saw you in the back there. You look great. Well, thank you. I'm a handsome young lady. You're a big bowl of handsome young lady.
Big bowl. You're exactly that. And I'm so happy to be here because, you know, I love your show so much. I watch it all the time.
I've listened to it a few times because it's like, oh, Rich is on. But I love watching it. And I watch most of it on YouTube.
Your YouTube thing is great. I appreciate you saying that. And so, yeah, because, you know, time wise, whatever.
But I make a point to watch pretty much every day. And so being on here now, I just, I'm so happy to be here. And a couple of things. This gentleman over here, Christopher Brockman, has the greatest wife ever. We know that.
No, no, no, no. I know her. We toured together. You were the one who came here years ago and you stroll out on the set and you're like, I know something. You said it in front of me. I know something about you. You said to me that I know something about you pointing to Chris that you, meaning me, don't. That's what you said. Oh, really?
Yes. Because you had just known that they had just met Sarah. She told me and your son playing golf, by the way. Are you kidding me?
How great was that? Are you kidding me? He's striping it right down the middle.
He's striping it. No, no. The swing. By the way, I'm a fake golfer. I played on curb and I was a big nine hole guy until Harvard-Westlake tore down Whitsett, which is just, I don't even, anyhow. And be careful because Harvard-Westlake said Pete Crow Armstrong into your life.
By the way, I've talked about it with him. Do you not join the band out here? No, I don't. What is that? Okay. It's like a thing where, like School of Rock, where your kids do, and my son was a drummer in a, in a band.
Pete Crow Armstrong was the lead singer. Get out of here. Wow. He even said to me when I said, how's Duke? You know, Pete Crow Armstrong is the sweetest guy. I did the movie. I was in Little Big League with his mother.
Now this is, this is like, where's Kevin Bacon in all this, right? Pretty close. Yeah. No kidding. No kidding. And I haven't seen her in a while.
Nice, nice lady. You know, on that movie, my big memory was I got to sit and have a conversation with Jason Robards about the Yankees. Was he a Yankee fan? Oh my God. Giant. No kidding. Yeah.
Giant. All right. Yeah. But that was, you look back on those things in your life.
It's like, oh, I sat with him and talked about that. Beautiful. But yeah, Pete Crow Armstrong is what we young people call a dream. He's unbelievable.
No, no. He's a dream. And he played with that enthusiasm last year. See, I thought he could do what he's doing now.
Okay. Because he did it in the minor leagues. He went, the word mashed. He mashed. He got to the pros, had trouble hitting, could run like the wind.
And the defense was, from the get-go, was unquestionably the best in maybe baseball. See, now you're obviously online, you're seeing what his son, you know, teeing it up and you're kind enough to say what you say about the show. Did you see LD sitting courtside next to Suzy Essman for the Halliburton game? Did you see that? Yeah, but you know, that's what I think when I see that.
What do you think when you see that? I have season tickets to the Clippers. I invited him to Clippers next, no, I don't feel, you know, nah, because he didn't want to, he didn't want to take, he wanted to take a helicopter to the game or whatever it was. Because when the Lakers played the Knicks, he's sitting next to Ari Emanuel on the courtside and I did give him crap for that. And then I see him courtside with Suzy.
Oh, Knicks playoff Suzy. It seems like it's a curb episode. You know what I mean?
Yes, it does. Like he'll trip. He's saying that he's going to trip Karl-Anthony Towns or something like that.
Yeah, no. Boy, the Knicks will feel bad for them. He saw a heartbreaker, a gutter. Like the only comeback that was more impressive than that one was the one that Bulls did in the middle of the season. Against, oh, I think it was against. It was, it was, I know I was going to swear, but it was ridiculous. It was ridiculous. I do remember something like that. It was like, um, and also Edmonton's come back, uh, uh, to win and get, what I'm making is amazing.
It was amazing. And I am happy for the people of Indianapolis. You gotta be happy for them because they live in Indianapolis. What have they got? Do you know people there?
No, not even be careful. The people there are great because I performed there and by opening line was, you know, you don't have to live here. And they laughed, hold on, they laughed so hard. And that's all you need to hear from a community to go, okay, these people, I'm going to have fun this weekend. They are great.
So I mean that, but I don't mean that it's Indianapolis. I don't want to go there, but they're so good. I'm looking up what you texted me, your, your, your tour dates, June 8th, the comedy castle in Detroit, the famed ice house of Pasadena. That is my actual life, that's my 40, the 43rd anniversary being a comedian at the ice house.
We're just on these days. That weekend. No, the weekend at the ice house.
That's what I'm celebrating. Was that where you did your first standup was in Florida, the comic strip in Fort Lauderdale. But I started when I was 20 and I'm about to be 63.
So 43 years. Yeah. So I'm like, yeah, there's no indie tour dates here. Phoenix, Arizona, New York in the middle of July, Spokane, the week after 18th, 19th of July, Austin, Texas, when in August, then Fort Worth, then La Jolla at the Seattle and Denver.
Yeah. A lot of places all over the place, which is outstanding. How can people get tickets to this? Just go anywhere and just pop in. Well, you name the cities.
Okay. I'm going to switch city winery in New York, July 11th and 12th, the 18th and 19th Spokane comedy club in Spokane. It's not Spokane, everybody. So back off. I didn't mean to be that aggressive comedy club in Austin, Texas, hyenas comedy club in Fort Worth, Texas. That's in August. La Jolla, the comedy store, Emerald city, comedy club, Seattle, and then a comedy works Denver south. Don't go to comedy works north.
Well, no, they have to, the south is a bigger, by the way, I've never played either of them, but I've only heard that they're like the best club in the country. Fantastic. Yeah. And that's in Denver, Colorado, September 19th and 20th. Yeah. We covered that. The question is, is will the Rockies have more wins than the date that you're performing on at that point in time, the 19th and 20th?
Well, I've got to tell you something. Yes. They're, they're about to be swept by the Cubs today, but the point being is, but the point being is they've played tough.
Yes. The Cubs are when they went last night, two to one, three to one, you know, it's not like look and they have some really good young Hunter Goodman's really good, you know, and what's his name? Tovar the shortstop. They have some it's really, you can only blame one thing for an office and ownership. You can't blame the players. They took your third baseman in free agency and then haven't spent a damn thing. The Cubs, I mean the Rockies, I know, but also the Cub, we didn't know that as Cub fans and I'm assuming the front office didn't know that he's fallen apart. He had great in San Francisco, right?
And then boom, you signed a big contract with a crappy team. What did they sell him with that? You know? Oh, I also want to say, where are you? It's TJ. Okay.
Yes. That is the greatest April fool's joke. And I'm grateful that it was a joke. Because you didn't want any piece of Russell Wilson at the time. Hold on.
Like I said, that's where quarterbacks go to die. So it was exciting, but in hindsight, no, no. Who do I thank? And I'm just going to thank you.
You're welcome. TJ. Oh, you're over there. Yeah. Right behind you. Did you use me over there? No, I was always here.
Before I started, I was over there. Tell him who's on your fantasy team. Who's on your baseball fantasy team. Who's on my team? Yeah.
I'll catch her. You're the great fielder of the New York metropolis. Okay. Here's my outfield. And it sounds like the greatest outfield in the history of fantasy.
Go for it. Soto. Okay. Rodriguez. Yes. Acuna.
Okay. Matata. Now question mark is, when is Juan Soto going to start hitting? Huh? Well, by the way, he's Juan Soto. Yeah.
So really, when he decided. He's so good. Something's going on because he's so, so good. He knows the pressure of playing in New York. It's a different borough, Jeff.
By the way. He's a different borough. A different borough. This is what Rich is saying.
This is Rich's argument. No, that's what Soto's manager is saying. It's a new world for him. Like Queens is a different country.
It is. That's where he went to find the bride. Why the man didn't resign with the Yankees makes no sense whatsoever. Because he wasn't paid the most. Let's say the Yankees offered him 50 million less.
That's the perfect place you've had success there. Do you need that extra 50 million when you're making 700 million? Apparently. Yeah. By the way.
The Swedes don't pay for themselves, Jeff. Is it inappropriate to have a crush on your wife? It is not. You could see her standing up. Yeah. I just, I love her so much. Susie's on the set. She's one of the greatest people I've ever met. I agree.
No, she really is. Plus one. And I miss you. I haven't seen you in so long. I'm done.
I'm signed in. Good to see you, Jeff. So before, before we, no, we have to talk about the Cubs a little more. Talk about what the Cubs a little more.
Well, think about this. They lost their two frontline starters. One for the season.
Yes. And they're playing the way they are. I, Ian Happ goes down. They're playing the way they are.
It's so, it's such a next man up situation with just joy and they're just doing it. Bob Odenkirk. I'll name drop one of my oldest friends. Hey, we were friends when we were both dirt poor.
Okay. Uh, but anyhow, anytime the Cubs pull off any kind of when he, he's, he's, uh, you know, contact me. I'm actually going to some games with him in, uh, in July because he's on, he's doing Broadway up until the end of June. I just saw him at Glendale, of course.
I just saw him. He was amazing. Amazing.
Amazing. Show's pretty good. Him and Bill Burr and Michael McKeon. Everyone in the show is excellent.
Yeah. Bob. Bob's great. He got nominated for a Tony. He's amazing. The idea that Bob's nominated for a Tony. Yeah.
What world am I living in terms of on talent? He is so go, Hey, that's the camera. Okay. Yeah. Right. I just want to say to you, if you're in the New York area or you're planning on going to the New York area, don't go to a Mets game and see one subtle on Broadway and see Glen Glarry, Glen Gary again, Glen, Glen, Gary, Glen Ross on Broadway with Bob Odenkirk, Bill Burr, et cetera, Bob Odenkirk, you know, they say these things on billboards during the Academy Awards, Bob Odenkirk, that was a little bipolar, you know, that was great.
And by the way, you still had a better hit rate than Juan Soto in that promo. Wow. Oh yeah.
You know what it is? Just stop making fun of him. He's not. I'm not making fun of him.
I have lots of rookie cards. I'm having fun at his expense. Is that the same thing?
Or it's different? Well, if he was on the Yankees, you wouldn't be doing this. That's correct. And why you didn't stay. Guilty as charged. Hold on. You've got the Yankee history, the Yankee. That's all right.
You could be one of the all. Cause he said it was a Mets town. That's why I can't, I can't handle it. But that's. What if somebody left the Cubs for the White Sox and says he did it because it's a White Sox town. Even though it was obvious. Hold on.
This is great that Reinsdorf would open his Velcro wallet large enough to pay somebody that much money. Well, that's all right. Let's take your assumption. I understand that you're suspending a lot of disbelief here. Okay.
Let's take your assumption. There it is. That's the noise.
Yes. Pete Crowe goes to, because it's a White Sox town, he warned me for the money. But do you understand even White Sox fans would laugh at that? That's right.
That's why I would look for him to laugh at it. But no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you know I'm the same age as the New York Mets? Exactly. Yes. 1962. That's right. Yeah. And the Apple. And also Spiderman, the Amazing Spiderman, Amazing Fantasy, his debut, 1962.
So if you ask me, I'm the same age as the Mets and Spiderman. Who knew? I can go now. Do you, before you go, do you miss curb? Because I do. Do you miss it? Yes. Very much.
Very much. But I'm really happy we ended when we did and the way that we ended. You did like that.
Oh yeah. Because it was a great ending. We could have had more really funny, smart seasons. But I do believe at a certain point, you just got to go, we're not, we're not, look, I like making the money. Don't get me wrong.
No, no, I did. But artistically we got out even longer than some people do. And it was glorious to have 12 years with that show. And we ended the way I would want to end the show. So I'm really pleased that it's ended. But the whole, you know, this, the whole cast is extremely close and we had joy, literal joy every day on the set, you know?
And so, yeah, I miss it. Your favorite episode. You know, the weird thing is my favorite episode. There's so many moments like your Larry David, you happen to, you know, like wearing ladies underwear, et cetera. Wandering Bear.
Why? Where Cheryl's vagina is in disarray. And Larry talks to the gardener who has an Indian way of curing it. And Larry and I are obsessed with Girls Gone Wild and my dog runs away. Now what I love about that episode, and if I could put one in a time capsule, it'd be that one.
It's not connected to any storyline. It's just this lonely little thing and everything in it I think is funny. And I love doing that episode. So I'm the only one who would ever say Wandering Bear.
Which is your favorite ad lib that you came up with? OK. Are you setting me up because, you know, OK, people don't know this. Larry went around.
Susie went around all of them. No one. And I said, what am I going to do after the tape?
Tell everybody it was me. OK. So if you keep telling the story, use the effort, use the effort. OK.
Does Springsteen, does Springsteen see? OK. So, yes. I remember that. And they were finding out that Larry, a former girlfriend who worked on the show, became a man.
And he's horrified to talk about what they did. And he, the guy, he says, Larry and I used to make love on the floor. So we filmed that a couple of times.
Very funny. So in between takes, I said, Larry, you never thought of him as a floor F. And I said this to Bruce Springsteen, whispered it to him because I go, wait, one beat. And so, of course, he knows what a beat is and he'll wait one beat and then do it. Well, hey, that's like, you know, he does it.
The second they all cut the building gets all people go nuts. The funniest thing ever. I said to Larry, that's in the show. He goes, that's in the show.
And so what am I going to do? He did. He I gave that to him like running around the set. Me, me. So I never talked about it. So here I am on your show, letting people know my brain. And I also came out with who the leader of the the big Johnson community was.
I went to JV. I go say horse C Williams and he used to yes. And guess what? I own the trademark to a horse. I'm not even kidding.
I own a few trademarks from things I've said on the show. Yeah. Oh, my God. What's it like feeding Bruce Springsteen a line that he.
OK, come on. I just want to tell you this. I spent the entire day with Bruce Springsteen and he's one of my love.
And Bruce Springsteen is everything you'd want him to be with a great sense of humor. And I asked him one question about music. And I said, I got one question.
All right. And I said, when you're on stage playing a song, you're in concert and you know Badlands is next. What are you thinking? And he goes, that's a great question. He was so excited. He goes, what I'm thinking is, all right, you're enjoying this. Wait, just wait.
That's what he's thinking. That's awesome. And then I I so I dealt with him there and he was a man like dealing with. I saw him at the Garden on April 1st and he was 10 feet tall on stage. And he asked for me to come to his dressing room, which he doesn't do after the show. And I said, Jeff, thank you. You and he hugged me. And, you know, at the end he goes, Jeff, come here and give me a hug. That man was two feet tall with nothing.
In other words, he expended everything he had. And I saw this little guy covered in sweat come up and it was it was very I was dissociating with all of it. I bet. So after you want me to wrap up that night, after after I saw him at the Garden and what a sweet man. I love him. I had a good because I was so in disarray that I had to go do a couple of stand up sets to sort of get my get to get your feet on the ground.
Yeah. I just thought you said that you go back to his room and he was on the floor out of fantastic naked, wearing an Abe Lincoln hat like Jeff. And you are the best dad ever. This message is brought to you by Abercrombie and Fitch. I've been ready for summer for a while and now it's finally time for summer outfits. With the trip coming up, the A&F Vacation Shop has me covered. Abercrombie really knows how to do a lightweight outfit. Their tees, sweater polos and linen blend shorts never miss. I wear Abercrombie denim year round. Their shorts are no different and have the comfort I need for summer. Prep for your next trip with the A&F Vacation Shop.
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Ask your doctor about Evglis and visit evglis.lily.com or call 1-800-Lily-Rx or 1-800-545-5979. Hey, it's JB Smoot from here at Media Day in Houston, and we're on to the pets, baby. What's up, Tom?
How you doing? You are 10 in the handsome world, right? Did you trade in three of your handsome points to get back at them damn giants? Yes.
I trade them all. Hey, club brothers too, man. Club 10 brothers. Club 10 brothers. You see this? Character, character. Please give me something I can take to these movie executives to convince them why we need a black unicorn movie.
You look at this crowd of white unicorns, and all you see is this big, black, handsome unicorn standing there looking like black beauty. It's the best gym club in Boston in Grok's basement, to be honest. Am I wrong? I'm going to go down there and talk to your coach, and I'm going to tell that man this man is electrifying.
He has to touch the ball way more than that. Okay? I'm going to go down and tell him. All right.
That's on you, though. Don't tell him I touched that. No. I'm going to say we talked about it. Nah, you can't tell. Wait a minute, man.
We did talk about it. I'm going to go across to my bar, and all I had was a black unicorn, and no one wanted because- Nobody want that black unicorn. It was different. You're a tough cookie, man. What cookie would that be? A ginger snap, a fig newton, another wafer, a chocolate chip cookie? Chocolate chip. Give me a cookie. Chocolate chip. All day. I figured that.
All day. At first, I thought he might be more of a fig newton guy, but he's more of a chocolate chip guy. You see what happens?
I think I almost did. Devin or Jason? Devin.
No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to be honest, man. You got a twin brother who plays for the Titans. Now, how the hell do everybody in here know it's you and not damn Jason? There's really no way to tell, though, honestly, because Coach Bellashay doesn't even know the difference. I don't want no parent trap stuff going on. Nah, I'm better than him, so I can't let him go out there and play for me.
Can't do that. Okay, Jason. She rides that black unicorn. They become one. It speaks to her. Me and the girl had trouble at home, too. Oh, man. That's a great story, man. And we need Queen Latifah to beat them all.
How many? We shut this place down, baby. This is the show. Shane B. Smoove, Super Bowl 51, you know how we do. Houston, we got a problem.
Fun stuff back in the day, 90 seconds until the radio audience returns. Susie Schuster is here. Good to see you, Susie. Hi.
Hey, how are you? You didn't tell me Jeff was going to be here. Yes, I didn't.
No. I was excited to see him in person. I know that you are. It's a double whammy of a show for you with Liz and Jeff.
That's right. Very friendly show. Friends of the Family.
Friends and Family show. And that includes you. Thank you. Good to know.
And everybody here in the room. Good to know. Can't confirm it.
Good to know. It's only been 25 years. Longer than that. Wow.
79892. Yeah. 28. It's almost 38. Almost 30 years. Well, that was just friends. Almost 30 years.
Included. It was just friends. It was just friends.
Friends for three years. We've been using air quotes. It's air quotes. It's air quotes. We're not using air quotes.
Air quote Wednesday is pretty good. Wait. We're not using air quotes.
Who's we? He's using air quotes. Oh. We were just friends. Eh.
Three years. Eh. Eh. Eh. What are you talking about?
Eh. What are you talking about? I got to say that. I said you were up on dates with other women. That's true.
I said it's never going to happen. That's true. You should move on.
These are all things you see. You should move on. So then. So then.
You're the best guy ever. So then what happened? We're out of time. So listen.
Kaitlyn Clark is out for two weeks, you guys. Right. I know. I know. She's really affecting prices of ticket sales. We want to know why you made my man rich.
Down 75% for those two weeks. Okay. So now we're talking over each other. Good to see you. Hi. Kylie Kelsey is your guest. She is. We're going to hear what she thinks about the tush push. Hey now.
She's going to tell us what she thinks about grown men saying tush push, because you know how we feel about that. We don't like it either, right? No. No.
No. We say it 12 times a show. It shouldn't be.
It's so crazy. Well, if somebody else. We can't do it when John. You're not going to grab ass or something.
Sure you can. Because it's their move. You know. So Kylie's going to be on Not Gonna Lie is back tomorrow. And so we're excited to have her back after a break. Okay. Home and away.
I mean, it's kind of a home for me. I would love to be in a way. But just saying. Okay. Very good. Women's sports now being recorded today.
It'll be available tonight on the Roku channel at the stroke of midnight. Jeff Garland took all your time. Which I'm sure you're not terribly upset about. It's not the first time that's happened.
Women's sports now will be wrap to wrap back to wrap this show on Roku in a sec. Former MLB All-Star Sean Casey, AKA the mayor, keeps hitting it out of the park. Take my 30 years of experience. Take the wisdom and knowledge I've learned from the failures when I got sent down my rookie year.
All the injuries I had to overcome. Your mind is the most important tool you have in life. Be relentless.
Keep charging. It matters how you talk to yourself, how you look at the world. It matters. We talk about that.
I don't know. I'm fired up. Baseball's back and it's going to be incredible. I love it. The mayor's office with Sean Casey from Believe. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
