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Get their newest arrivals in-store, online, and in the app. Did you send some of the frustration with some of the calls that Shay was able to draw? Yeah, there was a lot of frustration out there. Earlier on the show, Senior NBA Writer for the Athletic, Sam Hemick. Coming up, Comedian Andrew Santino. Three-time Super Bowl Champion, Mark Schlerin. And now, it's Rich Eisen.
That's right. Hour number two of the Rich Eisen Show is on the air. Very funny man, Andrew Santino, sitting in our green room right now. You're enjoying his No Bad Lies podcast. His Bad Friends podcast as well. He's got a new comedy special coming out.
We'll talk about it. He's been in some very funny television shows and movies. Dave being one of them.
Ricky Stonicki, which is, that's an underrated movie, man. That's some funny stuff. So, he'll be joining us shortly to just chop that piece of business up.
The tush push failed to be removed. Two more teams needed to say, it's done. Ten NFL teams said, let's keep it. And that's all that was needed. Really, all that was needed was nine. They just had to prevent the Eagles, had to prevent the number of teams that won a Bennett from hitting 24 and hit 22. We'll discuss that with Mark Schlerith in hour number three.
A man who knows what it's like to be in the trenches. And we'll ask him if he thought it was a legit reason that it's a player safety issue. That part of the reason why the Packers put this in front of the membership to vote out.
It was close, but no cigar. The tush push survives. We'll talk about that. Also, what survived as well was the current playoff seating format.
I don't like what the lines put out there and then removed from being voted on because they didn't have the votes. There should be something in your, I guess, in your cap if you win your division. And that's a home game. Even if you don't have a better record than a team that didn't win its division. There has to be something about winning your division.
You get a home game for it. I mean, now they put the schedule out and they create the schedule in a way to avoid tanking by leaving the division open enough by putting the division games at the end of the schedule. So it leaves the division as something that's important to win and it leaves it open to be winnable by the way that they put the schedule together. So now all of a sudden it'll be like, doesn't matter if you win your division.
Actually just have the best record that you possibly can have. I don't like it. Again, maybe I'm a little bit old school on that front, but when it got removed from even being voted on that meant they weren't even sniffing it. They weren't close, but there's enough people out there that are interested in the idea. They're going to study it more. Judy Patista, my colleague from the NFL network, she tweeted out that she thinks they're waiting for an 18 game schedule before trying it. And that could be around the corner.
Why do it now? If you're going to add another regular season game, maybe you have the advent of both at the same time. I don't know why that would, by playing an extra game, still mean more for you to lose your division. It doesn't matter.
I don't like it. I liked last year being the final game of the year where the Lions and the Vikings played for the right to have a division win in a one seed or you go on the road. And it's a difference between winning and losing in week 18 is the difference between having a winning championship run or not. So there's all of that. And we'll get to the third thing that the voters, the owners voted on and actually passed unanimously. But let's take a phone call here. Matthew and Enid, Oklahoma, you're on the Rich Eisen Show. What's up, Matt? How you doing, Rich?
I'm fine, Matthew. What's going on? Hey, first, I got to speak to the Rich Eisen legal team.
Go for it. Hey, how long do I have to be calling this show before I get a graphic? Ten and a half years. Matt, that's a fair point.
That's a fair point. Ten and a half years of Buffalo Bills everything. I've been the longest Bills fan. I don't know anybody that's called longer than me. He's got a point. So you go a long time between calls sometime, Matt. I got a kid.
I've got a life. Yeah, we know it. That's our guy. Listen, I got out of town with a cowboy. Listen, where?
Hey, Matt, you got it. What? What are you? What are you looking for?
What do you want? I was going to do one last game with the Bills. OK, you can. You've got that.
And by the way, we will not penalize you for being there for your kid. No, we're not like we're not like local. Leopardface Evers in Boston criticizing Alex Cora for that day of the year.
The truck pack on your desk there. Dude, I mean, Alex Cora being criticized for tapping out of a game for the Red Sox in May to attend his daughter's college graduation is just the height of toxic local sports talk radio. So we are not those type of people, Matt.
We will not criticize you or downgrade you for being there for your kid. That's right. All right.
Now he's playing. Yeah, you got what you want. Hi. Well, I was a hold. And what you want right now is to play the win loss game for the Buffalo Bills, correct?
You're a damn skippy. All right. I need some music. Let's go. And I need the schedule and I have it on the screen. And now in front of me.
Oh, my gosh. The first Sunday night football game of the year. Matt, home for the Ravens. Those loudmouth Buffalo's going to win that game.
All right. The Jets at the J.E.T.S. That's the Jets week two.
What are you laughing about now? How many times have you lost in New Jersey over the last couple of years? That's OK. That's OK. That's a win. Including the night. Including the night. Rogers blew out his Achilles news win.
All right. Home men, short week dolphins Thursday night. That's a win. It might be closer than I want, but that's a win home for the Saints. That's a win. Home for the Patriots. Oh, that's a win.
How about for their first five games were at home and their only road trip is to New Jersey. See, I did you though. I did you the solid by not saying New York fixes and only team in New York at the Falcons on a Monday night. That's going to be a lot.
All right. Five and one into the buy coming out at the Panthers. That's a win. Six and one home for the Chiefs. We'll beat the Chiefs in the regular season. So seven and one at the Dolphins. You sweep them, sweep them seven one. No, I think we I think the dolphins get us in that one. Seven and two home for the Bucks win. By the way, that's a one o'clock Eastern on CBS.
That's a neat early window game. Baker versus Josh from the same draft. Baker.
OK. So it's now eight and two at the Texans on a Thursday night. That's a win. And avenging the first playoff game loss for Josh Allen, right? Little revenge there.
Terrible holding call. I remember that. Nine and two at the Steelers win. Ten and two home for the Bengals and Joe Burrow. We have to win that one. That was a must. That's got to be a win.
We're a boy. Joe likes winning there. Yes, you know. Eleven and two at the Patriots. You get to see Stefan Diggs again. That's a win. Close, but win. Twelve and two at the Browns win. Thirteen and two home for the Eagles. I think the Eagles will get it. Thirteen and three home for the Jets. Well, it depends if we're playing for anything or not. Well, I can't tell you. What do you got?
What do you got? We'll call that a win. Yeah, it's the final game of the old stadium. You're not going to go out. Yeah, unless you want to screw up a pick or something like that. Matt in Oklahoma.
Matthew with a fourteen and three record. Yeah, it might bite me, but we'll go with that. Okay, ladies and gentlemen. Wow, that's a new t-shirt. It might bite me, but we'll go with that.
That's a new t-shirt. We're all hopped up, you know. That's what you get.
Matthew in Oklahoma. There's the call right there. See you, buddy. The one item placed in front of the NFL membership that passed unanimously.
Brilliant stuff, man. Easy vote here. 32-0. That's a straight vote right down the line.
32-0, man. Where the NFL members said, guess what? When the flag football Olympic Games go down in Los Angeles, guess what happens? NFL players can play in it. There'll be some people that get to skip training camp, which is, by the way, can you imagine how many players are going to just say yes on that alone?
You get to skip training camp. What's better? What's more likely?
Chris, I'll ask you this. What's more likely? The digs in an Olympic village in Los Angeles or the digs in some dorm room? La Trobe, Pennsylvania. Name a local college that is posting a training camp. More likely a nicer setup. Or, I mean, if the players want to go, do you have to stay in the Olympic village or do you just get an Airbnb living next door to Rogers in Malibu?
I don't know. Or you live at your house because a lot of players probably live here. So players are going to line up because, and this is brilliant for the NFL, to get flag football into the Olympics, number one. Number one is so huge because it puts the NFL on an international stage that no matter how many times they can play in London or Germany or this year Ireland and again in Brazil and first time in Madrid, nothing compares to the Olympic Games, period.
End of story. It puts the sport into other countries internationally and also raises the boats here in America playing football in a way that most, I don't know of a single parent that goes, yeah, I'm a little concerned about my kid playing flag football. The number of parents that you'll hear say my kid's not playing football.
That's one thing. This one's like, flag football is a way for your kid to play flag football and it's not just boys for girls. Taylor Mattingly Eisen, the night that she represented her grade school under the lights in a part of Los Angeles here playing flag football, I had the time of my life watching her and when she was spinning it and running and the place was going nuts and her friends were in the stands, it was a fifth grader.
Unbelievable. Just memories, lifetime memories through flag football. It's so great for the NFL to do this and now NFL players will help put it on the international stage. Well, Rich, I coached flag football last fall and I heard that from a few of the parents. Like, they were okay with flag, but like, a couple of the kids, they were turning 9, 10, they could graduate up to tackle. I heard a few parents were like, nope.
And mostly the moms were like, absolutely not. It is such an amazing way to get the sport to be played, to be played nationally, internationally, locally. And now the players themselves getting ready to play. Justin Jefferson was part of the announcement. He was asked, does he want to play?
And God bless Justin. He needs to see what it's like when it's time in 2028. That's three years from now. We'll see what his career looks like then.
But here was his answer. That's a decision I definitely have to weigh in a little bit. You know, it's three years from now. You know, it's three whole seasons that I'm going to have to go through.
Of course, getting older, body is going to be different. But just like he said, that's definitely always been a dream. You know, there's always been, you know, something I always wanted to do.
Competing for your country versus all of the other countries in the rest of the world. So I would say just having that, that I'm the best in the world. You know, you can actually finally say that. So, I mean, I'm definitely would look forward to it if if it came down to it. But, you know, that's definitely something I have to kind of ask myself on and see what's the right move. So I love the fact that he was an honest and answering like, hey, we'll see what it's like three years from now. But that that's not that's not great for what we're about to do.
And three years from now, it doesn't matter. Like right now, what would it be? What would your flag football team look like if you got to draft one on behalf of the Olympics? By the way, there are five positions on each. It's five V five. Five on five. Right. And there is a center.
And then there's three wide receivers, including one that slashes as a back and a quarterback. So we're going to do is we've got there it is right there on your screen. We're not going to draft the defense with all due respect to the defense. We should.
Well, we'll do that maybe tomorrow. Right now on this program, we're going to draft a flag football team on offense. And the way we're going to decide who gets to go first is we're going to spin the wheel.
The price is right wheel that we have here. TJ, you're going to go first. Sure. OK, here we go. We'll spin it.
Here it goes. Spin the wheel and it shows up on. There's only one spin. Only one spin. It's 40 cents. Chris, I'm going to spin for you. Hit it.
You ain't got the gym right now. It's 40 cents. 40 cents for Chris. 40 cents for TJ. 40 cents. It goes to 60 cents. So I got to get the first pick in this draft. The wheel goes around. For the music, Mike.
And I have 95. So I prefer Del Tuvo wasn't involved. He should have been spinning.
Excuse me. I go first to it. Then Chris goes second.
Then you go third and fourth. It is a quarterback driven sport. We need NFL. So for the center, are we actually going to take a center or just an offense? Any offense player?
Just don't. Let's not choose a center. Let's go, if you will.
Four position players. Let me ask you something real quick. You said we're not looking ahead. This is today. Today. Today. Today. That just threw off my quarterback. Today.
We're going today. And I keep hearing, you know, the face of the league. He's a perfect player for this. And Patrick Mahomes. Nah-uh. It's not for flag football. There is one.
Wow. I love Mahomes, man. I love Mahomes magic.
but sometimes you gotta get out of the pocket and you gotta make sure that flag's not getting pulled. Lamar Jackson is the perfect choice to be quarterback for Team USA. I am taking Lamar Jackson as this day as long as my first overall pick. With all due respect to Patrick Mahomes. Yeah, and I'm not even gonna hesitate turning in my card for Jayden Daniels.
Got it, okay. TJ, you get two picks now. You get two picks now. Rich, the thing is real quick, reading these rules, it says the quarterback can't directly run with the ball. He has to either hand it off and get it back or receive a pass like a flea flicker, so maybe that- That doesn't change anything.
Changes, all right, so- Excuse me. Lamar Jackson is going to get the football in his hands and he's going to be able to run. I'm coming up with flag plays. I'm just pointing that out. It's like he can't get the snap and run. Let me tell you something, Lichtenstein won't know what hit him. Lichtenstein, Slovakia. So, you know what I mean?
The thing is- Malaysia has no clue what's coming. One thing I know about Lichtenstein is this, if they got one fast dude, right, they ain't got two dudes fast enough to stop my wide receivers, so therefore I'm going with my cousin, Justin Jefferson, and I'm going with that man, CeeDee Lamb. Give me two wide receivers. Whoa, two wide outs. I'm taking them back right now. All right. Don't set up one of you to have either of them.
Yeah, that's a good point. I'm going Bijan Robinson second. Okay, I'm not going to go any backs, really, because you need wide outs here, man. He's a pass catcher. Huh? Bijan can catch the ball.
All right, sounds good. I'm good, I'm good. You got to go big, tall, wide outs, dude, why? Because again, what are they going to have? Like six foot five corners coming from Europe? You know, like, no way. This is going to be like jump ball. It's going to be jump ball. You're just going to run jump balls the whole time? Jump ball. Oh, no way.
Excuse me. I'm the offense, I feel like Larry David. I'm the offensive coordinator. I'm going to choose Lamar Jackson.
And then he was my first. Now I get to choose two, don't I? Oh yeah, man. I'm going Amman Ra, even though he's not the tallest. I'm going Amman Ra, I'm going Saint right there.
Okay. And who's my, and Pooka. Pooka. Pooka, Nakua, that's right. I'm going Pooka, and Pooka. Amman Ra and Pooka, wide receivers. Yeah, baby.
All right, all right, all right. So I need a wide receiver. Oh, come on, I'm taking Jamar Chase. Look at this team you guys let me have.
I mean, Rock, we did a little bit. So I get nine and 10. TJ, two picks for you and we are finished. Let's see, all right. No, two picks and then we, you and I finished up. Yeah, he's done. I'm done, okay. So I need a quarterback and a running back.
Let me get. No, you don't need a running back. You can do the rich, no running back offense. Oh, I'll take the RB though. Let me get that dude Saquon. Yep, yep, yep.
And for a quarterback, let me get that man, Joe Burr. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, that's pretty good.
All right, so what do I need? I need a wide receiver to finish things out. Hmm, ooh, do I go just a giant tight end? Now this other guy, AJ Brown said he didn't want to play, right? I didn't hear that, did he?
He said he didn't want to take time away from his real job or something, but that doesn't matter. I'm still gonna take him anyway, AJ Brown. Well, remember Chris, you want volunteers, not hostages.
That's true, I think he'd want to be involved in this. Look at that team I got, Jamar Chase, Bijan Robbins and Jayden Daniels, AJ Brown. Hmm, what receiver am I gonna get here? Man.
There's a couple of nice ones still on the board. I know. Rich Eisen. I'm going between two here. I'm looking at kids. I'm looking at Malik neighbors.
Yeah, that's what I was saying. And I'm looking at our neighbor across the street, Ladidi McConkay. Ooh, Ladidi.
Did you see Ladidi going across the middle? Who's gonna pull that flag? Nobody.
I haven't trusted Jefferson and CeeDee Lamb. Nobody. I really wanted to pick Brian Thomas. Nobody is gonna pull that flag.
Is that your guy, Ladidi? Who are you going with? Final decision. No running backs?
Final decision. Yeah, no running backs. No running back. Offense, huh?
That's an interesting one. You don't want Ashton Gente? That's up giving him advice there, Brian. I don't know, man. I'm just trying to help him out. I don't want his team to come and last.
That's exactly what we want. We know what? Bronze medal.
I mean, seriously, I mean. Five, four, three. I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, Ladidi, McConkay. All right. All right. All right. Ladidi. One out.
Ladidi, McConkay. D. Is Mr. irrelevant? Yeah. I could have chosen Deebo Samuel, though, right? Oh, wow.
Did the song actually work? No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, I'm gonna change it. I'm changing it. You can't change it. It's already written down. What do you mean?
No, no, it doesn't matter. I'm changing it. How can you just change it?
I'm changing it. Cause I can. That is not how we do it. Cause I can. That is not how this works. It sure does work that way.
That's not how any of this works. Excuse me. I'm changing it.
Christian McCaffrey's my guy. Whack. Oh. We don't recognize this. Recognize. You best recognize.
I don't. Come on, man. First of all. I don't want running backs. You don't want running backs.
Well, he's the best receiver I've ever seen at the combine. That's number one. And number two, you won Olivia Colpo at the Olympics. I worked with her. Please.
That's called a mic drop. That's good. Good one. With all due respect to everyone else.
McCaffrey. Okay. Hard knocks has been announced. We'll get to that later on in our number two, but let's take a break. I'm going to switch my pit. Okay. I'm not switching mine.
Go for it. We'll move aboard. We'll review our, we'll review our, our rosters later on.
Andrew Santino is going to join us next on the Rich Eisen Show. In the NFL there's zero margin for error. As we all know, one single mistake can change the outcome of a game, a season, livelihoods, my goodness. As the official sleep and wellness partner of the National Football League, sleep number knows all of that and makes it their mission to provide players with data and insights to optimize their sleep for the ultimate competitive edge. And thus you get a sleep number bed, you get the same exact thing.
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Offer valid 5.15 through 5.28. Ladies and gentlemen, the man on Instagram known as Cheetos Santino is here on The Rich Eyes and Show. Andrew Santino here on the program. Good to see you, Andrew. How are you, brother? I finally made it after all these years of trying to get down here.
I finally made it. No lies. No lies, yeah. No bad lies.
No bad lies. Right, so good to see you. Congrats on the pod, man. Thank you. Everything going well?
Yes, it's going good. I wanted to get as many podcasts as possible. Now that the business is- How many do you have now, three? I have three. I have three. Only one of them I actually care about, but I have three in total. It's like fantasy football leagues, right? Yeah, you gotta keep doing it. But there's only one you really care about.
There's only one I really am betting on. Yeah, but I keep building it because I want to expand, and I love golf, and I wanted to do a new show, and it kind of all came together, and I was like, I really want to do a golf show where I get to interview celebs and friends and athletes and people that play golf that maybe people don't know about, and give them deliberately bad lies, and then they tell me a time where life gave them a bad lie. It's a fun little concept.
Yeah, it is. The best player that you didn't expect to be good of a guest on your podcast is? Ooh, the best player I didn't expect to be good.
Correct, because I'm not going to say Jon Rahm, you know what I mean? Yeah, I didn't expect him to be that good. He was pretty good.
That's right. Cam Smith was incredible. I'll say this. Cam Smith's short game, I spent like 30 or 40 minutes just watching him just chip with his coach, and it's disgusting. It does something to your brain. You're like, why do I play this?
It's never going to do that ever in a million years. There's no need. You almost quit the game because of how good Cam Smith is, is what you're saying?
Good, he's so good. And just the way that they read, the way that they read it, you feel illiterate. You feel like you don't know.
I don't know how I could get to a place where I could understand how it does exactly what they understand. So the best non-playing player is who? The best not, I guess the best, the most surprising golfer? Yes. I would have to say probably, God, this is tough.
I don't know. I'll tell you who I think is sneaky good and no one knows about is Mookie Betts. He's good at everything. He's great at everything. No, but he is, but he is, yes.
But he is like, he's different. I think we all assume athletes are all going to be good at golf, and a lot of them are not at all. But Mookie's swing is as smooth as you, it looks like a pro golfer.
Andrew Santino here on the Rich Eisen Show. We're just talking about non-playing, golf playing players on the No Bad Lies podcast and other people that I'm sure you, Mookie belongs to our club, correct? Yes, that's right, that's right. You know, I don't know if that's like Fight Club, we say these things on the air that we're- It is, we're not supposed to, and we will be in trouble for this. Okay, very good. And so, but I did play, once upon a time, pickleball with Mookie Betts. Really?
Biggest mistake of my life. Yeah, would you tear an ACL? No, thankfully I made it through, but just watching him, he had just taken up the sport, and I watched him because he couldn't reach his backhand on one play, flip the racket into his backhand hand and hit a forehand with it. Yeah, he, yeah. And it's just like, okay, I just kind of saw that. And I'm like, when did you pick up this game? Like two weeks ago.
I'm like, ah, okay, great. Pickleball has taken over. I'm, I hate to say this, but I'm really anti-pickleball. Why is that? It's just, it's not, what is it?
What is it? It's a sport, Andrew. Well, I gotta tell you, I think orthopedic surgeons are excited about it. They are, let me tell you, pickleball keeps them in business. Yes, so many injuries. That's all I hear about is old white people getting hurt and slow down, just slow down, dude.
Take a walk. I don't know why everybody loves it. It's not for me, but I'm happy that it's sweeping the nation. For sure.
And your Bad Friends Pod as well. Bad Friends Podcast, me and Bobby Lee still humming along strong. We're gonna be overseas doing London and Dublin for the first time over there. I've never even performed in England or Ireland. So, and I'll be there when they open. So if anybody wants to give me VIP tickets to go at, what is it? Right. Royal Portrush.
Portrush, right, yeah. How is your game these days? It's okay. It's not bad. I'm up and down like anything else, you know. Golf is such a mental, such a beautifully mental sport and I'm mentally unstable. So the good news is when I'm really losing my mind, I play great golf. When I feel at peace, I play terrible golf. So I need to be shaken up. I came down here to get frustrated to go play later today.
So hopefully, hopefully I'll play good. Golf, man. What an absolute infuriating sport. It's a nightmare. It's a stupid game and it is.
But I do like. Yes. I do like, I just saw in a press interview where they were asking, you know, they were asking Rahm about his performance because he was chasing down Scotty. He was basically, what, tied? They were one back. Right. And I was looking for him. I love him.
John's a great dude. And look, Scotty's the best in the world and it's, we haven't, you know, it's a bold statement, but we haven't seen anybody like that since Tiger, in my opinion, as far as dominant, as far as, he does it in a way that seems, you know, kind of flippant, like it's not really happening. Where Tiger, you knew. When Tiger was beating people, I mean, he, you felt it.
With Scotty, he's just winning and winning and winning and it kind of just looks natural and easy and it's no big deal. Well, if he comes on your pod, we already know what the worst lie of his entire life has been. You know? What is that?
Well, getting arrested before a round of golf. I gotta tell you, I think it boosted, I boosted him. I think it made him cool, yeah.
You saw the Nike ad that they put out. I mean, it was so smart, it was so great. Him getting arrested was probably the greatest thing to happen to him. I think his PR team should set up more of these kind of things, get him in a bar fight, you know what I mean? Let's get Scotty some more personality. Let's get him a little bit edgier.
He's such a sweet, good guy. You're looking for the thing, but you're not gonna find it. There's no thing for him. There's no thing. He's just great.
You know? So, okay, so you haven't, who do you want on your pod that you haven't had yet? I mean, the top dogs that I would really, I mean, I would kill to have Tiger, of course.
Larry David is, and Sandler are probably my three. Those are my golden nuggets. Well, I mean, haven't you built a urinal for Larry David? Yeah, I mean, I built him a urinal. I built him the infamous P-Cube on- The P-Cube? On Kermit?
On Kermit to his ear. You were the guy who built the P-Cube for Latte Larry, if I'm not mistaken. I pitched it, we, you know, people know this a little bit, but you know, the improv, but they give you kind of an outline of what you're going to do. And one of the happiest moments of my life and career was making Larry break because he, you know, he was like, pitch me this urinal. And I said, there should be a door that slides and it detects your penis. And when it does, it goes, beep, beep, beep, penis detected, woot, and slides up. And he started laughing. And then JB came in and was like, you know, it's just going to recognize size. I was like, yes, it'll recognize your size.
I mean, yours, they'll have to raise it up a little bit for you. Yeah. It was great to make him, it was great to make Larry laugh. Like that, that did, did something to my soul. So they gave you just the general beats, if you will, that you are a urinal designer? Is that the way you start? Yeah, I was a contractor who was coming in to make a unique bathroom for Larry's needs. And then, so they gave me kind of like the gist and then I just ran with it. And then Larry let us play on the day. And I mean, yeah, I could, I would, I can die a happy man after doing that. Well, I mean, did that lead to Dave?
Cause Jeff Schaefer was the director and writer. That was, I was already doing Dave. You were already doing Dave. So Dave led to the curb spot, pretty much.
Partially, yeah, I think so. Jeff Schaefer, our good buddy, Jeff Schaefer, who has helped kind of coordinate and put that all together. He needs to, I've texted him three, four times. I've said, let's, let's get me in, you know, Larry to golf and he hasn't responded.
I think he, they went green. So I would, I don't know what that means, but. That means no, there's going to be no golf. Okay, well, I get the message now.
Finally, I get the message. Your favorite Dave scene that you were in that you had lived in that one. I think one of my favorites that sticks out was the, cause it was kind of true to life, was the neighbor whose dog continues to poop, throw poop in my trash can.
This was kind of like such a real thing for me. There's a guy whose dog pees on my, on my front, on my front gate and. Every, like your actual literal front gate? Yeah, it's pretty daily. And I'm thinking of a way to really hurt this man.
And I'm, I'm drumming up. I don't mind the dog pees on the grass. Because the grass between the sidewalk and the street, everybody knows that's communal grass.
That's not yours. It's communal grass. That's communal grass. But he pees on the gate door.
Which is not communal. No, that's not, that's mine. That's mine.
So I have to get out there like an old man in flip-flops and basketball shorts and pour water on it every day. And so I'm plotting to kill this man truly. And I've started to really, I'm following him now. I follow him.
So I know where he lives. So this led to a Dave plot, is what you're saying? I think a lot of things were pulled from real life that we put into that show.
Yes. You know, and also like we had a conversation about there was a scene where I'm asked if I have kids and I lie and I make up this whole thing that I do have kids to this guy because he feels like a father figure and I don't have kids. And I have been put in that situation when someone's like, you have kids. And I'm like, oh no, no, no. And they're like, no, you don't. And then a piece of me wants to just go, yeah, I have seven kids, I have seven or eight kids spread all over the country.
I do kind of want to inflate it. Sometimes it does, it like begs the improv in me to be like, just make it all up. Just make it all up. Yeah, who cares? They're never gonna know.
So never ask Andrew Santino how many kids you have. Yeah, well, you might get, well, like on airplanes, when I travel for standup, if I sit next to it, it's usually like a nice older woman. What do you do? You know, who are you?
I like to just make it all up, yeah. I've been so many things, man. I've been an engineer. I used to design airplane parts, I told that a few times. And she's like, really?
And I was like, yeah, and this one, a little bit old. I'm not gonna lie. Oh no, come on, man. I hope we make it to Pittsburgh.
Oh no. It's fun to mess with people on planes because you're bored and it's a long flight, you know? I just took a long flight back. I just got back from Italy and Paris. I went over there to, I ushered in the new Pope. I don't know if you know that.
I didn't know that. Yeah, that was me. Bro, you're from Chicago, right? I'm from Chicago.
Congratulations on doing that. I'm the one that did the smoke. People don't, I don't really want to make a big stink, but that was me when you saw the smoke.
I'm the one that's lighting that stuff up. He's the Chicago Pope, but he's a White Sox fan, which is, I don't know how, no bueno? No, that's Spanish.
It's okay. I don't know what it is in Italian. It's Latin, most likely. I don't know what that is.
We can Google it, translate it. Yeah, he's a Chicago Pope, which is good. Wait a minute, because there are White Sox fans.
There are. So you're saying it would be better if the Pope was a Cubs fan? Is that what you're saying? It'd be better for him. Yeah, it'd be better for him. It'd be better for him. I don't, even God can't save the White Sox. I'll tell you that.
I don't care how much the Pope is doing. He's a South Side guy. So what it's, yeah, he's a White Sox fan. There was a lot of rumors on the internet that he was a Cubs fan when it all went viral.
And his brother, I guess, got on the news and squashed it pretty hard. He was, he's a South Side guy. He was like, nah, he was at, I think he was at the World Series. He was at the World Series. Game one.
Yeah, game one. Yeah. So, well, I mean, God was at work then. Yeah, we were talking about it with Ike Baranholtz last week. He's like the first Pope to have a take on Ozzie Guillen.
You know what I mean? Oh, wow. We're assuming Pope John Paul or the previous Popes didn't know Ozzie Guillen. No, I imagine this Pope will invite the big hurt at some point to the Vatican. I'd love to see that. Tim Raines, a couple, you know what I mean?
Some old school guys. We'll see. We'll see what he, if he integrates any sort of Chicago stuff in there. There was a bunch of memes going around that I love that he was dipping baby's heads in Portillo's aju sauce, which I thought was so great.
That's going to be the first meal in the Vatican is Italian beef dipped. Are you excited for the Bears season, Andrew C.T.M.? Yes, I am.
But I'm also, you know, it's also a nerve wracking thing. We're always that team that people are like, could be pretty good this year. I mean, I was in Vegas three weeks ago and I put down a little bit of money on us to win our division. So, you know, we'll see. What are the odds on the turn? They were 450 at the time.
I don't know what they are now. All right. Stand by. All right, so you put in just a little taste?
Just a little sip. My cousin texted me and he was like, dude, you gotta. I was like, I know I should.
Why not? I believe in them. I love the Bears so much. You know, they're just a hard team to love. Your favorite Bears player is? Of all time? Yes, sir.
I'd like to say McMahon just because, you know. How old were you when that happened, though? I'm 41 right now and you never ask a girl her age, by the way. I stepped in it. It's a bad lie. My bad, sir.
Yeah, it's your fault. Pick that up. No, but I think like, I mean, Walter Payton was, you know, arguably the greatest Bear that ever lived, I think, people would say. But I just miss a lot of personality in the Bears and we don't have, I don't know if we have a lot right now. And I think we need a little bit of a, we need a little bit of someone with a little bit of fun.
Yeah, Jesus, sure. Yeah, I like, like, you know, I was really hoping I went to Arizona State. I would have loved if Scataboo came to the Bears.
It would have been- The Giants are gonna love him. They really are, man. I think he's such a dog. He's so incredible. What he did in that bowl game, what he did in the college football playoff game.
Yeah. He had me at hello, that guy. I love him. I love him, too.
In my dream world, I would have been like, man, it would have been perfect to have him come over. But we're still gonna have a good season. I still believe in the kid. I believed in every Bears player that's come through. Well, the question is how good of a season Andrew Santino?
And what we do here on The Rich Eisen Show is we play NFL films music and we ask you to play a win-loss game. Okay. Doesn't matter that it's in the middle of May right now. Yeah.
If it works, we're gonna sing your praises. If it's not, it's like it never happened. Okay, that's fine. Don't worry about it. And we're not gonna, no pre-season games, by the way. What? Because we'll win every pre-season game.
That's like asking, that's like asking somebody their age. How dare you? I'm sorry. You're not gonna ask your pre-season game? I'm sorry.
They report to us sometimes. Okay, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, Andrew Santino, the No Bad Lies podcast, comedian and host for his beloved Chicago Bears, the win-loss game, the opening Monday night of the season, home against the Vikings.
What happens? We're at home. It's a W. It's a W for game one. It's a W for game one.
It's a W for game one. Okay, now Ben Johnson then goes back to where he once belonged, as the Beatles might say, the Lions, week two in Detroit. We're gonna take an L there.
I hate to say that. One and one, home for the Dallas Cowboys. We're gonna win that game.
All right, two and one at the Las Vegas Raiders. We also are gonna win that game. That's a three and one record coming off the bye at the commanders on a Monday night. We're taking a loss. Okay, hopefully not on a Hail Mary. No, we're taking a loss.
Yeah, hopefully not. What a heartbreak. I watched that in a Chicago bar here and everyone threw their beer down, like on the ground at the exact same time. It was like the most gut-wrenching. It just felt like I was watching the Bears once again.
Just ruined my childhood. Three and two, home for the Saints. We're gonna win that game.
Four and two at the Ravens. Gonna be a tough one. We're gonna pull it out though. We are gonna win that game. Yes, I do believe in that.
I do believe in that. What a plot twist there. Five and two at the Bengals. I think we're gonna take an L there. Oh, five and three, home for the Giants.
You see your boy, Scataboo. Yeah, but I do still think we got that one. We're taking it. Six and three at the Vikings. We're taking that loss. Six and four, home for the Steelers.
We're gonna win that game. Seven and, one, two, three, four, five, six. Seven and four, day after Thanksgiving at the Eagles. We're sadly gonna take an L to the Eagles. Seven and five at the Packers. We're gonna beat the Packers. Eight and five, home for the Browns. We're gonna beat the Browns at our house. Nine and five, home for the Packers on a Saturday. You know we're gonna beat them again.
They're sweeping them. 10 and five at the Niners. Oddly enough, I think they're gonna beat us in an unfortunate loss. 10 and six after the unfortunate loss, home for the Lions. Yeah, we're gonna take them at home. That'll be the win that we need that year. 11 and six, Andrew Santino. 11 and six sounds reasonable.
Does it not? It does sound like you didn't wanna go totally nuts. You don't wanna go full fandom. Let's be real.
I mean, our division is absolutely stacked. There's some really sneakers. And I do think Detroit, I love Detroit. I love the staff. I love every player over there.
It stinks to say that. But I was even rooting for Detroit a little bit last year to be like, dude, go off. Like that'll be great. It's nice to see them.
Campbell's the man. I think we're gonna take one or two from them. I think the Vikings are gonna be a tough team. But it's a good schedule this year.
It's good. I think it's gonna bode well for the boys. I just think you got the coach right. So let's see what happens. Finally.
I think so. Finally. We've never fired a coach mid-season. And that was, it made me so happy last year to see that happen.
No, truly, like to historically have never done that. And I thought it is about time. Every fan was finally heard. It was like, we gotta make a change.
You can't, we can't keep playing this game. I didn't like it. When they put us on, what's my, I'm scrambled eggs right now. What is it? When they put us on the TV show.
What's wrong with me? Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they showed him with his new goatee by his lake house up north in Chicago. I was like, this is gonna be bad. All right, I'll bite.
So. I just think they looked like they were having too much fun at his lake house barbecue. And like, this is gonna be the year, baby.
He's got new facial hair. And I was like, that's it, we're cooked, we're done. So had he shown up like a complete total mess.
Yes, loved it. And there was no lake house. It was just at a, you know, a local establishment. Bring me a dog and get me a little townie bar. Then I would have loved it. Okay. Yeah, but I don't like the fanciness, the show-offness of the lake house in the North Shore of Chicago.
You're aware of these, of this neighborhood. It's too nice. It's a little too nice. It's a little too fancy.
I want it to be dirty and grimy. All your favorite coaches are a little grimy and dirty. You can't name me one of your favorite football coaches that isn't a little grimy or sloppy or grimy.
Interesting. Who's a tied up coach that you really love? Sean McVay.
Mm, that's not a bad one. Sean McVay. Yeah, McVay's a little tied up.
Pretty good, he's tight. Who else? Your favorite guy. I mean, Bill and Andy Reid. Slobs. Slobs. Slob, greatest, so Andy Reid, and I shouldn't even say that, he'll probably kill us.
But, I'll buy you a cheeseburger. But I think- Oh, Lil Dicky, be careful now. Like, that's his guy.
That is his guy. No, I think that he's a great guy. I just think all the greatest coaches are a little grimy. I think they're, they've got- Interesting.
I never thought of it that way. As my dad would say, they have dirt on their shoes. Jimmy Johnson didn't, he had the hair. Oh, he had the hair. Yeah, he was a slick salesman.
Everything down there. Dallas always has like a little, they're like the used car salesman. Everyone in Dallas feels like that. Interesting. That old team feels like a used car lot. Interesting. I don't like it. I don't like, I don't like the vibe.
Multiple car- That's right, yeah. A man who says, goes by Whiskey Ginger, says, I like the grind. I like the dirt. I want to know that the coach will go out and buy you a burger and a beer. And I like that attitude. Versus, I don't want a Chardonnay at your lake house.
It's not a football coach. Red flag. No Bad Lives with Andrew Santino, the new comedy special coming out in September on Hulu. The folks at Omaha are producing that. So congrats on Bad Friends as well.
The Whiskey Ginger pot. Anytime, brother, when you're done with your travels, come on back. Hey there travelers, Kaylee Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music, great artists, BT dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival, gig, rave, sound bath, or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today and you can save up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off flights. So don't just dream about that trip, book it with Priceline.
Go to your happy price, Priceline. This episode is brought to you by Chevy Silverado. When it's time for you to ditch the blacktop and head off road, do it in a truck that says no to nothing. The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss. Get the rugged capability of its Z71 suspension and two inch factory lift. Plus, impressive torque and towing capacity thanks to an available Duramax three liter turbo diesel engine. Where other trucks call it quits, you'll just be getting started.
Visit chevy.com to learn more. I am here at opening night. My boy Rich invited me back this year to bring the ruckus again. I'm about to bring the diesel because I'm here at opening night. Super Bowl 50 and I just turned 50.
The Super Bowl is my little brother. If Cam Newton is Superman, who the hell is Peyton Manning? The sheriff. The sheriff. Yeah, he the sheriff.
No, no, the sheriff got a hero? A hero. He's a slash, he's a slash. He's a slash. He was a slash.
I don't know if anybody else sold for me. You all noticed this. That dimmer bronco lungo looked like a penis to me. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, that's just your eye. That's your eye. We don't see that.
I see a bronco. Am I wrong? If I'm wrong, someone tell me I'm wrong.
Am I wrong? Look at this. Maybe not like yours, but it reminds me of mine. Hey, Dion, look, it's almost as good as me. Oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, oh, my eyes are going blind with my shoes. Oh, oh. How did it feel playing for the Jets last year at the wide receiver?
As a follow-up, you get tired of telling people I'm not that damn Brandon Marshall. But this Earth got attacked by aliens, right? You had to put three other players to Valerie's aliens. Who are those other three players?
It had to be Derek Wolfe, because he eats aliens on a daily basis for breakfast. That's one. A kid to leave, because he's probably the toughest guy we got in the locker room. That's two. Louis Vassquez, man, he's just a bouncer, just waiting to happen.
Hey, it's J.B. Smoot, baby. What's up? What's up? You. So, I know you're a big covering enthusiasm fan, right? Absolutely. You're a big Leon fan.
Huge. Which one of these Leonisms will motivate you for the game? Getting that ass. That's how I doze it.
Long balls, or I brings the ruckus. That's how I doze it. That's how I doze it. I doze it.
I'm not watching season nine of Curb Your Enthusiasm unless Leon is in it. Let's make that clear. Oh, man! Let's make that clear. That's what I'm talking about. Damn, Louis, you are crazy, man.
You don't wear anything. I'm a man of the people, as you can see. All my people back there, we get it in.
All my people, J.B. Smoot fans, we in this building up here. I'm gonna go say hi. I'm gonna go say hi. I'm gonna whip and say hi.
What up? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, boy. All those years, J.B. Smoot was our annual media night correspondent at the Super Bowl.
How we doze it. That was so much fun. We did that for like eight years, right? We did that, yeah, a bunch. Maybe eight in a row. Maybe six years in a row we did it? Yeah, six, seven, maybe right in a row.
It was fun. And he, the number of times that he did it and was wound up interviewing Belichick. Could you imagine if he got a poll to Bill Belichick right now? Oh, well. Oh, right now. That would not go well. Oh, for who? I think it would go very well.
Everyone involved. Maybe just Bill. I think it'd be bad for Bill. It'd be funny for everybody else.
The collective we, it would go great. Sending J.B. Smoot to ACC Media Day. Oh, my God. Because remember, even hard-o Bill would respond and answer questions from J.B. even back then. About cookies and stuff, right? About cookies for a cookie, right?
Yeah, but still, to get that out of him. So I think he likes J. Bill. Did he say that his guess was that Bill would like a Nilla Wafer? Nilla Wafer.
That was a warm chocolate chip, I think. Oh, my God. Yeah. Let's run it back. We came up with Susan Stray, huh?
That's what got aggregated. That subject, right? Yeah, yeah. Susan Stray. Oh, Mad Dog.
Mad Dog was not a fan of the Stray interview. Interesting. Hard Knocks has announced the team.
Yeah, man. For this summer. And it's a team that volunteered to do it. It's gonna be great. This is not from the list of teams that get forced to do it because they haven't made the playoffs for a long time or haven't been on for a long time. Yeah, new coach, all that stuff. The Buffalo Bills said yes.
The Buffalo Bills, which means a lot of Josh Allen. Wait a second. I'm sure the NFL films and HBO Max people are hoping to see a little Hailee Steinfeld. You just said it. That's why this is going on.
Like, come on. It's because of her. Well, the Hard Knocks in-season is the NFC East.
She's not part of that. Yeah. I'm just saying.
In-season NFC East. I'm just saying you get a little Hollywood superstar in the mix. It's not gonna hurt things, right? Of course not. It's not gonna hurt. She's gonna be at training camp? What do you mean? Yeah, I mean, yeah.
I doubt it. Look, you don't know how they're gonna, hey Hailee, come visit Josh this weekend. Are they filming the wedding that's going on like this weekend? Like, you know what I mean? Is the wedding this weekend?
I think it's in May. Why are you looking at me like crazy like that had nothing to do with your thought process? Well, then why hasn't the Chiefs been on Hard Knocks every year recently? No, because they're on TV every day.
Excuse me. The Buffalo Bills have the reigning MVP who happens to be getting married to a very famous person whose movie is killing it right now. Our career has taken off. I'm sure it does, but the Buffalo Bills have a massive fan base. I'm sure there will be a ton of Bills mafia storylines. I'd love to meet half of the people who show up to these games.
There's certainly a training camp. And then we'll meet a whole bunch of other players you know, who are definitely maybe under the radar. You know, Deon Dawkins is gonna be a star. Like he's gonna be like a Kenny Powers type figure here. He's gonna be a star, yeah, yeah. Right? There'll be a bunch of other players.
We'll go bowling with Ray Davis. You know what I mean? Who knows? Yeah, apparently Josh and Hayley getting married May 31st. There you go.
Okay. So that's a... Are we filming the reception? Is that what's happening? You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't think that'll be part of Hard Knocks. Never know. I don't think NFL Films cameras will be invited.
I mean, what? You never know. You can go shopping with Keon Coleman. Keon Coleman's gonna be your star right there. You know what I'm saying? Maxwell Hairston, as you know, was hugging everybody coming out of the draft. Hugging everybody at the draft.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he became a fan favorite for sure. Sean McDermott's a ball, a barrel of laughs. DeMar Hamlin, obviously. Oh yeah, true. But Hailey Seinfeld.
You went serious, I went nuts. You know? Deon Dawkins, by the way, speaking of Deon Dawkins, who's gonna be a star on Hard Knocks now that the Buffalo Bills have said yes to that, Deon Dawkins, when he came into the studio during the spring, had this to say about creating a new award for NFL Honors.
Roll it. What rule change would you wanna make? In the NFL? I am waving the wand and making a commissioner of the NFL. Congratulations, Commissioner Dawkins.
Welcome to The Rich Eisen Show. You can make a rule change. What is it? A rule? I would probably hijack it and I would jump into an award. You know? I would jump into an award for the best offensive lineman of the year, which is what I would call the protector of the year award.
I would start there with giving- The POTY, P-O-T-Y? You know, protector of the, I like it, I love it. And he said he was talking to Roger Goodell about it. Mm-hmm. At length, he said. And he was even, I think, a little bit, this guy's never shy about anything, little shy of saying, you know, like, maybe flexing like, yeah, I'm talking to the commissioner about this sort of thing, or fight clubbing it, like you don't wanna talk about what you're talking about behind the scenes.
Well, whatever happened worked. As a rap sheet tweeted out, protector of the year has been announced. Love it. The best offensive lineman each year, Deion Dawkins got it done. That's dope.
That's super dope. It's happening. But do we know what, how they're gonna determine it? What's the criteria?
What's the criteria? Is it like- I don't know. Is it like, is it like- I don't think there's gonna be, it'll just be voted on by the voters.
You just put it on the list of things that the voters vote on. Analytics to, you know, you can get lineman stats, so there are analytics. I don't even care. I just love the fact that they're getting recognized, however they do it. I imagine it's gotta be least sacks given up, least total, least penalties. Pressures, you know, least pressures, least penalties, all that stuff.
Chris, what you just said, I feel that should be in the word that you should just let the players vote on. You know better than anybody else who, you know, you gotta go against these guys. Well, as you know, the phrase that's always said about linemen is that you don't want to hear their names during a game. That if they are anonymous, that means they're doing their job. That means they're not giving up a sack.
They're not offsides jumping or offensive lining up offsides or giving up penalty artage. And now they're now gonna be recognized. Deon Dawkins, way to advocate for what you want, sir. That's very cool. Very cool.
Former MLB all-stars, Sean Casey, AKA the mayor keeps hitting it out of the park. Take my 30 years of experience. Take the wisdom and knowledge I've learned from the failures when I got sent down my rookie year, all the injuries I had to overcome. Your mind is the most important tool you have in life. Be relentless, keep charging.
It matters how you talk to yourself, how you look at the world, that matters. We talk about that. I don't know, I'm fired up, baseball's back, and it's gonna be incredible. I love it. The mayor's office with Sean Casey from Believe. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
