This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours. A time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast. So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here now. Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours and we are here talking about a topic called Who Am I? And we talked about it in the first show and now we're, and after hours as you hear in the intro, we're supposed to go deeper.
And we're in an entrenched barricade that looks a lot like a radio studio. Pretty good disguise. But anyway, the topic, Who Am I?
Kind of birthed out of a song by Jason Gray. Remind me who I am as I was riding down the road Saturday. And, you know, just thinking a lot about boot camp coming up Rodney and, you know, excited about some of the changes we're making this time.
Not so excited about some of the things that are happening. But, you know, going to Royston, Georgia. I got a feeling I went by there going down to see my granddaughter another week. And I think if you actually know where Royston is, you either are from there or you've been lost. Yes, I can tell.
About like my hometown. You know, if you knew where it was at, you probably were lost at least once in your life. But anyway, doesn't look like it's a big place. But I think we're going to have some fun.
Well, camp's always excluded from everything else. You want to be away and that's what we want. Oh, absolutely. But, you know, it's a great time and to begin a journey, if you've never done it, to discover who you are. Who you really are. And if it isn't giving away too much, there is a topic where you get to go ask God what he calls you.
What your name is. We would call that the new name talk. We would call it that. I was trying to dance around it. You nailed it.
I'm storming through the chicken coop. You're right. That is a great place where after you've peeled away some of the stuff, if you listen to the first show, and I think God begins to show you who you are.
And you know what? You kind of end up liking who you are, which was a big deal for me. It really was.
Because I did not like who I was. You've probably heard us talk about the wolf camp, and most of it was likely not very complimentary, but there are two things I love there. It's the first time I've ever heard a group name. There were at least five of us that God had said, Beloved Son to us. And that's one of the ones I cherish. The other thing I loved was the winter wolf that lived there.
The poor thing was hot as it could be. What's funny is that when I first heard y'all talk about it, I said y'all had a boot camp at Great Wolf Lodge. I thought, man, let's do that again. That's a pretty exciting place, a water park.
How would they have had a boot camp there? And then I realized there was a great wolf there, but I realized y'all were making a play on words, and I'm like, okay, now I'm catching on. So it took me a while to catch several things that go on right in this crowd, Michael. You just have to buckle up and hang on. When it happens to you, you catch on a lot faster, don't you?
Yeah, then you're like, ah. My clip is next, and I chose it from the movie Unbroken, and I think Harold acknowledged he had seen it, and I didn't get much out of the rest of this crowd here. But great movie, been out a few years, and true story about, what's his name again, Harold? Louis Zamperini.
Louis Zamperini, an Italian guy, true story, that was in World War II. And the scene they were going to play is, I mean, Louis was not a nice young man. I mean, he was a shyster. He had shenanigans afoot most of the time in his childhood, and the scene we're going to see is where his big brother has kind of corralled him a little bit, because one thing Louis got going for him is he can run. That kid can run. And somebody said, like, Forrest Gump.
I think he'd outrun Forrest. So his brother's corralling him, trying to give him some direction in his life. And what you're going to hear is their interchange out on a dirt road out there, and his brother is on a bike, and Louis is running.
And so we'll play that, and we'll talk about the rest of it after that. Since when were you so smart? Come on, faster.
Why? No one's chasing me. I'm chasing you. I can't do this, Pete. I'm not like you. I'm nothing. Just let me be nothing.
What are you talking about? I can't make a track team. I don't even know why you want me to- Yes, you can. If you can take it, you can make it. What? If you can take it, you can make it.
All right? You train, you fight way harder than those other guys, and you win. You get out from under them.
Or you keep going the way you're going, and you end up as a bum in the streets. You can do this, Lou. You just got to believe you can. I don't believe.
I do. Come on. Andiamo. So his brother's encouraging him to go out for the track team because of his running ability. I mean, this kid is fast, and he goes on to the Olympics. But the advice his brother gives him here carries him through lots of different things, carries him through the Olympics. And as Harold mentioned in the pre-show, he ran the fastest lap of the race he was in ever. Set a record of the fastest lap.
I mean, he just turned on the afterburners of that last lap and blew them all away. But he gets in World War II, and they get in some pretty rough predicaments and everything, but worth the watch to go watch the movie. And I won't spoil everything for you.
Just an awesome movie. But he says, if you can take it, you can make it. And what Louie says here was the cry of my heart for a long time, Rodney. It was, you know what, I'm just a nothing. Just let me be a nothing. And if you hang out with Jesus much, you know, he ain't gonna let you stay a nothing. And as I've come along in this journey, been around you guys for going on five years now, I thought, man, they've been putting up with me for five years. They either love me or they're just dumb as rocks or something.
I don't know. But as time goes on, I've thought about it this way. We talk about your walk with Christ.
And when you walk with somebody, you're going up hills and down and that kind of thing, and you're going to go through some rough stuff. But Jesus all along is beside you, encouraging you. And, you know, his brother says, I believe in you. And Jesus has to tell you, I believe in you. And what he tells us through scripture, you know, through song and other things, you know, I believe in you.
I love you. I created you. And yes, I knew what I was doing when I picked you up out of the mud, when I picked you up out of the crack house or wherever he got you, I knew what I was doing. And, you know, you raise an eyebrow at that. You're sure about that, you know, because I was a kid that, you know, I came to know Jesus when I was 11 or 12.
I remember it vividly. And I would not have been in front of a church for love nor money when I was 11 years old because I was a kid everybody picked on, Michael. So I went about to give you another excuse to pick on me.
That ain't happening. But I remember just, I could not hold on to that old oak pew no longer, Harold. I mean, just, and my life radically changed. And I remember him calling me in the ministry. I preached my first message when I was 14. But, you know, the enemy has a way of just wearing you down. And I won't get into all those details, but I just kind of went to being a nobody because I figured, you know what, if you mess up like that, God don't want anything to do with you.
But what was I so wrong? And so, you know, fast forward into now soon be 57. I think I'm catching on to a few things.
Finally, you know, maybe. But the fact that you can if you can take it, you can make it. The lessons that I miss sometimes, Harold, in life is some things just take a lot of work.
It don't mean they're bad. It don't mean you ain't supposed to be there. It just means you've got to slow down and you've got to figure some things out. And so I'm getting some traction in that now because I know there are some people around me, my band of brothers, you know, family, my wife that are in the stands, so to speak, cheering me on. And there are some things I got to do. There's some things I got to do. There's some things there's some talents that God has given me that have to come out. You know, he's given me the gift of writing. I butchered the English language out of my mouth on a regular basis. He blessed me with a southern accent.
I wouldn't change that for love nor money. And I don't say things right. And I purposely messed up Jim's word montage because Barney Fife would have said it was a montage, a montage or something. But those are the kind of things. But when I put them on paper, evidently I can do it pretty beautifully according to my wife and just have a way with words.
And so I've got to explore that. And to be honest with you, it just scares the daylight out of me. Because it means that I'm going to have to slow this brain down and slow down a little bit and be disciplined about some things.
And discipline is a four letter word in my book most of the time. I just want to be good at it right now. I remember how my parents bought me a guitar because I wanted to learn to play the fiddle. And they said, well, if you learn to play the guitar first, it'd be better. I took six weeks lessons playing the guitar and figured after six weeks I was headed to Nashville, Mike. I figured that way it ought to work. But at the end of six weeks, my fingers were bleeding and I still couldn't play a song.
So guess what? I never learned to play a guitar. I think if I stuck with it, I could have. But the discipline of it, if you can take it, you can make it. And that's kind of my, as Forrest would say, that's all I got to say about that.
Anybody else got any stories or anything you want to share? Well, I just go down to the fact that every time we start into something new, like there, if you want to learn to play the guitar or whatever, there's going to be a whole set of things that are thrown in front of you that have no idea what they are. You take these people that are either great athletes or they're great singers or whatever they are. They didn't get great because they went and tried it for six weeks. They dedicated their lives to something. They kept going and they just kept getting better. And there's athletes that have great athleticism, but they can't be a great football player, basketball player or anything like that if they don't keep working at it.
Nobody becomes great because they didn't work at something. And that's the hard part is getting that discipline. It's like us for even this radio show. There's things that we have to do to keep up with what's going on, not just in the world, but what's going on in the Bible, what's going on here and there. And we have to feed and eat on each other's words. Where are you going?
What do you want to set up? How do you do things? It's just not that easy just to come in and just, oh, I'm just going to wing it tonight. You have to actually be prepared. If you're not prepared, it usually shows up. And those are the things that we have to continue to work on.
Well, Michael, my friend, it is the second show. All right. Well, when it came to this topic, my first thing was I couldn't actually think of like a movie clip or something. But it really does apply to me. You know, who am I?
I think I'm definitely still in the process of figuring that out. But, you know, you guys might not know, I'm actually a junior. I'm named after my father. Growing up, my father was my role model. He was everything I wanted to be in life.
You know, I'd say about 17, 16, 17 years old, he really started dropping the ball. Let me down, went down a really bad path. So it really hit me like I didn't want to be that guy. You know, so even at 33, I'm still trying to figure out who am I? I don't want to be that guy who I was idolizing, who I really held up on a pedestal. Who am I supposed to be? I think a large chunk of that life, I didn't walk with Jesus.
It's not that he wasn't there with me, you know, I actually turned my back on him. And I think now that I have some good role models, you know, a band of brothers, went to a boot camp, I'm finally starting to turn those pages, peel that onion, figure out who I am. But, you know, up until I figured that out, I didn't really have much to, because I don't know who I am yet, still trying to come to terms. Yeah, that's good because none of us know who we are. That's really the truth that you go through life other than the fact that I'm a child of God and I realize that, and that's the most important thing in my life.
But there are many things that go on, like even your dad. Where's he at now? What does he do? Is he gone or what? Well, he lives in Florida. I really honestly haven't spoken to him in a couple of years. You know, I've forgiven him for everything in the past, but he's turned to alcohol pretty heavily. And like you were saying, you know, the drink takes him. He's not the same person whenever he's drinking and he's pretty much always drinking. So, you know, hopefully he turns a page or something. But, you know, he's getting older in life.
I don't see it really happening, to be honest. I mean, he's always been a man of faith, but it doesn't translate to him when it comes to the drinking. Well, Jesus has a way of turning us all around. I've known guys turn their lives around in various stages, and age is just a number when it comes to that. I certainly pray for him.
Absolutely. That's the best thing you can do, is keep him in your prayers. And any of us, if there's somebody we care about, is pray. Because if you don't, I mean, the Lord's the one who's going to do all the work here. And it's a lot of work to get somebody that's been in those situations to come back around and come into God's life like that. Several years ago, God gave me a revelation on men because I've dealt in some sort of men's ministry for years. And I probably needed as much ministry as I gave. But I've gotten several pastors' numbers in my phone, and my brother always picks it up. He says, see, I only got one pastor. It takes a whole herd of them to keep you straight.
I said, well, we'll discuss that later. But what I was going to say is that what scares a man truly is not what he's not. It's what he truly is. That's what scares a man. Because, you know, we've talked about it recently on Here, you know, if I give my life to Jesus and I become who I am, is he going to send me to some foreign country somewhere or something?
He might, but he might not. But the reality of who we are, because we know in our heart of hearts when we talk about this, and we'll let another cat out of the bag, it'll be a kitten, Jim, that there are core desires in us that God put there. And we know they're there, but we are scared to death to let them come to life, because they've caused us so much trouble when they got bent out of shape. But we are powerful.
We talk about that. We were designed to be God's ambassadors on this earth, to rule and reign. That's what King James says, but just whatever.
That's who we are. Scripture tells us you're a royal priesthood. You're more than a conqueror. All those things came to mind as I was thinking about this topic, Rodney. You're more than a conqueror.
And I figured out something, Mike. You can't be more than a conqueror if you ain't never conquered nothing. And you ain't conquering nothing unless you got Jesus, because you're going to get your butt whipped.
That was what happened to Joshua when they decided after the big battle in Jericho. Man, we got there, and they run over to Ai, and they come running back with their tail between their legs, because you can't fight without Jesus, and he's the ultimate warrior, so to speak. And what are you fighting for?
That's the big thing, because there's a lot of people go out there and say, I don't have Jesus. Look at me. I've got all this money. I've won. I've won. I've won. I've won.
And they're just going to lose. He's just like, fine. I'm going to give you all the stuff you want, all this great stuff. You're going to have a life that looks wonderful, like, oh, my gosh, I wish I was that person until he dies, and then he's not. I don't remember which famous person he says.
I wish everybody would get all of the success and money they wanted, because it will take them to where they realize that's not really what they wanted. Well, you know, if you hang around, you know, we've had the privilege. Some of us hang around Nikita Kolov a little bit, and Nikita Kolov was the top of his game in sports entertainment. I mean, he rose quickly, and then Jesus got hold of him, and I will never forget what he said. I heard him speak one time. I will never forget what he said. He said he had everything, and he realized that he had nothing. And that's when he walked away.
There was some other circumstances, but that's when he walked away. He was at the bottom of things. He was at the top of things, and he realized exactly what you said, Jim. I got nothing.
I absolutely have nothing. Now I'm pretty sure he's got everything, because he's got Jesus and the devil's nightmare, but that's the reality of it, is to see, Michael, you talked about it, how you're beginning. We all began somewhere, and we're all still on a journey to figure out the best we can, what this life really means with Jesus by our side. And it's perplexing at times. I was thinking about this morning how I read in the daily reading where one of my favorite stories with Peter, Peter's one of my favorite characters because I identify with him.
He was always the big mouth, big shot. Been there, done that, still am, got that T-shirt. But where Jesus comes walking on the water, and they're scared, that's a ghost, or that's just that other, and of course Peter's dead. So I said, Lord, if that's you, bid me to come to you. And so Jesus says, come. So he gets out there, and he's doing the deal. And then he realized there's a storm going on, and he's out of his boat. And so he sinks. And you all know the story well.
Jesus immediately snatches his mother. He says, you got little faith. Why did you doubt? And what occurred to me, and what I said to some folks was that, you know what, faith doesn't matter what the footing is, Ron. He was on something he shouldn't have been able to walk on anyway. So the footing doesn't matter.
The environment and the circumstances don't matter. Whatever he's called you into could look impossible, and it probably is. Am I somewhere close, Jim? Yeah, and I just wanted to add to that thought, is that if God has called you to something you think you can do, it isn't God. God will only call you to do what you are not capable of. He is the God of the impossible. And that's why they call it supernatural. Because we all have natural talents, but there's that cut above stuff that, man, how did we get here, and what are we going to do now? But those are the things that are, and the longer I walk this life, and the more people I experience with, man, I just, you know what, nobody migrates toward the mundane. You know, the person in ministry who just goes up every Sunday and preaches and that kind of thing.
No, I'm attracted to the oddballs, the nutcases, you know what I mean, that have done and are doing just crazy things that, you know, you go, man, my buddy Paul – Like shenanigans? Shenanigans, you know. So, you know, my buddy Paul Trolliger passed away. He talked about them being down on a mission trip down in South America somewhere, and they're out in the middle of nowhere, and the Jeep broke down. They're riding in. And he said, you know, they're like stranded. And so he said the craziest thing I thought, oh, he got his anointing oil out, anointed the hood and prayed, and the thing started up and they took off. That's something.
That's something. It reminds me of a – we did a – several years ago, we did an outreach to South Beach, Miami, of all places. And on the trip down there, the guy that I was riding with, his car, the alternator went out, and the car stopped and would not go any further. And we prayed over the car, and the car started and drove us 16 miles to the little – to this little town where we were able to get a guy on his way out the door to sell us an alternator to put on his car to continue down to South Beach for this outreach. But this – yeah, the alternator was dead. I mean, the car stopped. There was nothing left of it. But we prayed over that car, and it got us to the town. God showed up and got us to the next town.
That's beautiful. That's a – I went to speak at a prison one time down near – I don't know where it was. It was out in the middle of nowhere. An old 67 Buick Skylark. And just as I pulled in to turn into the parking lot, I run over a curtain rod that was laying in the road. And it stuck through the sidewall of the tire. And you know what?
With a curtain rod and your tire, Harold, it don't stay pumped up. But lo and behold, we went in and did what we were there to do. I said, you know, we'll worry about it when we come back out. And one of the guys that I walked in with, he said, I'm running down to my shop. He had a tire on a rim that would fit that car. He said, I got it. I don't know why. But he said, I don't know. He said, now I know why.
But he had a tire that would fit that car right then and there. Amazing stuff. So anybody else got anything else? We're winding down here?
Yeah, I don't know. But there are so many different things that go on in our life that are hard to deal with or hard to get to. But again, going to boot camp is a great place to go to not only hear about things, but it's time to go be with God and be alone. And so you've got time just to go be with Him one on one and not have to deal with a lot of other things in your life.
Absolutely. And He absolutely adores the fact that you want to come talk to Him. So anyway, once again, I'll do the shameless plug for boot camp March 13th through the 16th in Royston, Georgia, a place called Camp Little Light. And you can go to masculinejourney.org and register. If you find yourself financially strapped, go, man, I can't do that.
Reach out to us and there's probably some funds available. We want you there if you want to be there. And we believe God will bring whoever it is needs to be there, there. So join us if you can. And we hope to see you boot camp. And if not, we'll look to hear from you next week. This is the Truth Network.
