Some really good NFL matchups. I agree with DJ. Game of the week, Bills v. Texans. Love that matchup.
Who you got in that one?
So jump up in here. Michigan Man. Michigan, man. It's almost like we need one of those really cheesy signs. It's been X many days.
Since why thing happened. For instance, it's been X days since the last Michigan cheating scandal, or it's been X days since the last Michigan clock scandal. For today. The sign we actually need is it's been zero point zero days. Since the last Michigan sex scandal.
Because surprise, surprise, Michigan man, you are in the headlines once again. That it has got to be exhausting to read the news if you're a Michigan man. every single day. Michigan man, you're in the news every single day. And it's never good news.
I bet y'all hate waking up. And your feet hit the ground, and you reach for the phone, and there's another Michigan Man notification. You're checking the internet and again, it's all about you and it's never good. This one, however, Michigan man. Even for you, Michigan man, is a really, really bad look.
You see, the funny thing is, I thought the clock scandal was a terrible look. I thought needing the conference to ride in with this mysterious second official clock that none of us knew existed. Keeping a second official time that none of us knew existed. To bail y'all out was a terrible law. And it was.
It was. I thought needing an extra second that you should have never been granted to beat Western Michigan, who you were a twenty-seven and a half point favorite against, was pathetic. And I was right, it was. But then Then I read the details. Of this sexual hazing scandal involving your hockey team.
I wish I had not read the details. of the sexual hazing scandal involving your hockey team. Because they're beyond disturbing. And they played out over decades, as laid out in a new lawsuit brought against the university by 16 former Michigan hockey players. This is all really disturbing, by the way.
I should have hit you with that disclaimer. In fact, I will right now. This take and this lawsuit are both extremely graphic. Extremely disturbing and extremely sexual in nature.
So if this is the type of thing that makes you squeamish, and it makes all of us squeamish, because again, it's extremely graphic and extremely disturbing and extremely Michigan man in nature. Yeah. You've been warned. Before I read this, you have been warned.
Alright, now the quote. Quote The complaint says The hockey players who attended Michigan between 1984 and 2001. had their genitals and other parts of their bodies shaved by upper classmen. were anally penetrated with razor handles and were forced to complete other humiliating acts while nude parties as part of their initiation to the team as freshmen. End of quote, Michigan Man.
My reaction freaking, deplorable, and reprehensible. Using big words for you, Michigan man, because after all, you are the best and brightest, and I know that you will understand what they mean. Just ask you.
Now I have something that I want to ask you myself. The hell is that, Michigan man? The hell is any of that? Why would any of that have anything to do with being on the hockey team? And don't try to tell me this bleep is normal, it's bonding activity.
We've all been through it. It just brings us closer together. It builds camaraderie. Man. It's despicable, is what it is.
That's what it does. It builds despicability. and reprehension, You know what the worst part is?
Some of the players in the lawsuit say, and I quote If that weren't bad enough, it gets worse.
Some of the players In the lawsuit say, quote, Their pubic hair was removed with a blowtorch. You are despicable. A blowtorch. What if the welder Using that blowtorch. And did they go with the welding helmet?
Did they flip that thing down with their little visor? What if the so-called welder With the blowtorch was just off a little bit. Burning. What if he hit your stick? Any Michigan man A blowtorch?
Any Michigan man who tries to defend any of this today. Should have their pubic hair burned off via blowtorch first, and then come in and defend it. All right, I don't want to hear it. Until you've had your pubes. Blown off with a blown torch.
Blowtorch. I don't want you coming up in here and telling me I don't get it. I don't understand. No, no, you're right. I don't understand and I don't get it.
And wait, there's more. I'd argue that's not even the worst part of it. Having a blowtorch taken to your pubes because that's going to make you a better defenseman. It gets worse. Another in the suit described Having their penis.
Quote Pennis Quote Tied to a helmet, or five gallon bucket Which older players filled with hockey pucks. He Michigan Man. Before you come in here and tell me that I'm making too much of this or that they're looking for a paycheck I want your penis tied to a bucket filled with pucks. And then tell me that we're overreacting or they had an agenda. Penis.
Or if it was so bad, what took so long. You know, the typical nonsense that you would come in with, Michigan man. And again, I ask the question. And I make the point. Because we all know this skill, that skill.
will come in handy on the penalty kill. You know, using your junk. To hold up. A bucket filled with vulcanized rubber. How much better will you be on the penalty kill having gone through that?
I would argue you wouldn't be better at all. In fact, you'd be worse for it. You probably resent the guy that you're playing alongside that made you do that back in the day. Like, I just don't get it. I've never, ever understood hazing.
And don't come in here and say, Yeah, you know why, Rome? You know why you don't get it? Because you never played the game at a high level, or you were never in a frat. Hey, guilty of both those things. I never did play the game at a high level, and I was never in a frat.
I don't understand how those things make you better frat brothers or make you better athletes. Brothers. I'll never understand that. I've never understood why anybody would participate. I've never understood why the adults in the room would allow it to happen.
But apparently The main adult in question, the guy leading the Michigan hockey program, was a hockey legend and a hockey icon. From 84 to 2017, Red Berenson. Number 93. He admits that he knew that it was going on. He didn't even go to that card of, I didn't know.
I didn't know when you know they know, they always know. He didn't even deny it. He just didn't intervene. In fact, one of the players. Reportedly now?
One of the players in the lawsuit says, quote, He told him that he did not want to participate in the hazing, and the coach coerced him by telling him to be, quote, a Michigan man and, quote, a good teammate. End of quote, according to the lawsuit. Michigan man, that might be the most freaking Michigan man thing I've ever heard in my life. He actually used the phrase. When the kid complained to the coach, hey, coach.
I I'm traumatized. They're taking a blowtorch to my pubes. They're hanging a bucket of pucks off my crank. This is not right, coach. And his response was.
Be a good Michigan man? Like that's what Michigan men do? They take This is what it entails if you want to be a Michigan man. You need to allow other Michigan men to take a blowtorch to your pubes. You need to let other established Michigan men Hang a bucket of pucks off your dong.
Jong Day. Be a good Michigan man. Be a good teammate. Damn, Michigan man. Another banner day for you, Michigan man.
Yeah, but I know you're better. You're better than the rest of us. You're better than everybody. If by better than everybody, You actually mean more horrible than everybody? Then I would agree.
You're better than everybody. Hey Alvie, did I ever take a blowtorch to your pubes before you got hired here? No, because we don't have a hazing process here. I've never understood this notion of, well, everybody else went through it, so will you. I've never understood this notion of, hey, man, when the chips are down in the fourth quarter, you know what got us through?
That blowtorch to the pubes. That bucket that we hung off all of the freshmen's cranks. That makes you better than everybody else. The kids said He didn't want His pubes singed Right off his package. And the coach?
A legendary Michigan man and hockey man responded by telling that kid. Be a Michigan man. Be a Michigan man and be a good teammate. And let them Torture you and do whatever the hell they want to you. Let them traumatize you, let them humiliate you, let them take a blowtorch to you, let them hang things off your crank.
Be a Michigan man. Great optic, man. Great optic for the ultra prestigious Michigan University. And another thing, Michigan man, before you come in here and say to me, Rome, Don't act like we're the only ones who are doing it. I'm not saying that.
I'm saying that's the only lawsuit today that's been reported.
So, when somebody else is in the news for doing that, best know that I'll have a take. This is not a new take I've had. It's for as long as I've done this show, I've said, I don't understand hazing. I don't understand how that makes you a better team. I don't understand how when you really need it at the end of a game.
When you need to make that last shot. Nobody has ever said, you know how I scored that goal? You know how I came through? It's because of when they took that blowtorch to my junk. That's what I was thinking of.
That's what got me through the hard moments. See, I don't understand. And by the way, I'll never understand. How a coach Or an authority figure. could know about this and do nothing to prevent it.
How could you ever believe that hazing would improve chemistry or bring a team closer together? And And whatever and somebody would ever say, You know, be a good teammate. Be a good Michigan man. Let them take a blowtorch to your junk. Like, what team has ever come off the ice and been like, we hung in there together.
Because he hung hockey pucks off our dongs together. Who has ever said, we battled through this game just like we battled through getting our sacks torched? This team really caught fire. After we anally penetrated the freshman with the handles of razor blades. I mean seriously, the hell are we doing here?
By the way, what were we doing there in Michigan for decades? Yeah, I know Michigan Man. I also know this is coming. You're gonna say, Come on, Rome. That was a long time ago.
Oh, so that makes it all right. And not that long ago, by the way. The guy was still coaching there nine years ago. He was still on the job in 2017.
So it was not that long ago. And there is no statue of limitations for things that are that jacked up. Yet, yet. We're talking this week about a lack of institutional control at LSU. What about the men of Michigan?
No institution anywhere is so out of control. And apparently it's been this way for decades. I'm not saying the Big Ten is gonna throw them out. I'm just saying, once again, Michigan Man, don't act like it's a one-off. Don't act like this is some one-off that I just pulled out of thin air.
I mean, you might be scummier than everybody. I'm assuming Michigan man just wants their clock controversy back at this point. Anything to bring that thing back. Because the clock controversy was tame compared to all of this. In fact, the two clocks thing was really the perfect Michigan controversy because it seemed like a big deal.
But it got us all to totally forget for a second. That the last head coach was a butter knife wielding maniac. Who knocked up his assistant and then later threatened to kill himself in front of her. He got us to forget about that $1.2 million settlement that the school recently reached with another football staffer accused of sexual assault. It also got us to forget all about that creepy assisting coach running that spy network and doing things like showing up on opponents' sidelines in disguise.
It also got us to forget Michigan Man. The other creep working in the football office who hacked people's intimate videos and got busted by the feds. Hey Michigan man, it also got us to forget about that nearly. $500 million settlement that the school made with victims of a former Michigan team doctor who was accused of sexually assaulting athletes over four decades. Don't forget.
I mean, I'm sure there are probably more recent controversies and scandals that I can't remember off the top of my head. Point is, Michigan man. It's a scandal a day. Feel free to reset your scandal counter back to zero. Stop cheating.
Stop sexually assaulting. Stop acting like you're better than everybody else when you're worse than everybody else. Stop taking blowtorches to underclassmen's pews. Stop hanging buckets of putts off their dongs. And for the first time ever, own it.
Own it. Can we make it through the weekend without another scandal, Michigan Man? Can I break out on Monday and not have to talk about you and some sex scandal or blowtorch scandal? Sex with me. Or a bucket of paw pucks hanging off a crank scandal?
And then the coach knowing about it and not only not doing it, but saying, Be a good Michigan man. Be a good teammate?
Okay. And all the while you've been acting so arrogant. Like you're the last bastion of integrity. You're so much better than all of us.
So much smarter than all of us.
So much more successful than all of us.
So much classier than all of us.
So much scummier than all of us. I told you that was graphic in nature. Bye. And if you're last Your last. Last offense is Rome.
You just don't get it, nerd. Right. We finally agree on something, Michigan man. I don't get it. I've never gotten it, and I never will.
Do not get it, Michigan man. Man, I I long and yearn for the kinder Milder days of when they just cheated with the conference and had fake clocks. The clock. At least nobody got blowtorched. I mean, don't get me wrong, Western Michigan got screwed.
Yeah, I bet if you were to go to Western Michigan and ask them how that felt, they felt like their nad got blowtorched. But not actually, not literally. These dudes in this lawsuit said, no, actually, our pubes did get blowtorched. I don't know, you know, as bad as that all is. Maybe just run a razor over it without breaking out the welder kit.
Is that too much to ask? I guarantee you one of those left wingers just broke out the helmet. Flipped down the visor and said, All right. Time to become a Michigan man. Yeah.
A blow torch. Hey, hey, upperclassmen, while you're torturing that kid, do not forget the visor. We wouldn't want you blinded by that blowtorch that you're taking to that poor kid's pennis. Damn, Michigan, man. We had to pick us all up today.
Hey Lauren, thanks for the scandal counter. Safety comes first. Day since last sex scandal, zero. Lauren's a genius. All right.
On that note, I think y'all take a break. I need one. Looking for your ATPs, ask the pros. Ask any of us. Anything you want.
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You're listening to the Jim Rome show. Hey, look at that clock! The official clock. We only have one clock.
So we're at the bottom of the hour, actually, officially.
So I'm looking for ATPs. A little behind on that. I don't have a secret clock. If I did, I might spin it forward, not back.
So I need ATPs. Alvie is working feverishly. That's why his head is down. Or he's in the chat. He's either in chat Or he's working on the week that was.
This guy, man, Rich Fry underscore producer. Quote. Can confirm no hazing experience for filling in on the Jim Rome show. My my dude Fry is an addict. He's a guy addict.
Do you know what's going to happen? What's going to happen is the next time Alvin needs a day off. And Alex Hattie can't run the board. We're going to go out to Rich Fry, who's next in line. And Rich is gonna say, well, sure.
I can do it, but I can still s be in the chat, right? I can run the board and still participate in chat, right? I mean, after all, Rome hosts the show and he participates in the chat. Damn, Rich, that's gonna be a tough call, right? Engineering the show?
Or being in chat. My man's in every single day. At Kingshark 49, quote. She was going to use a blowtorch too. What do you think the extra $140 was for?
Signed Jed York.
Well, let me do some math.
So, what you're telling me is he was actually trolling for a $20 hooker. But When he asked how much for the blowtorch, she said a buck forty. Is that how we derive the number 160? And here comes a regular quote. Blowtorch and junk.
need to be far apart. Yeah, how about Blowtorch needs to not be used at all. How about the blowtorch can't be in the same room, the same house, the same area code? Unless you're a welder, why do you need a blowtorch? Yeah, I know, I know.
I just don't get this old school Big Ten stuff. Right. How many times are we going to agree on that part of it? I don't. I don't.
I mean, if you're gonna If this is part of your hazing process, and I don't condone it, Man, just run a razor over it. Why do you need a blowtorch? How is it Nowhere in that lawsuit. How do none of these guys Allegedly. that they got their unit blow torched.
I mean, were they that handy with a blowtorch? I don't know, man. Blow torch. That's some horrifying stuff. That that's some like Drug dealer.
Torture in a warehouse, kind of thing that you hear about or see, a blowtorch. A blowtorch. I mean, it's graphic enough. And Craig the Randall, quote. Tying your helmet To a helmet.
is wild work. That's a great post in chat. That's well done. That's what she asked for. Yeah, dude from Cheers, 07.
You can't make this ish up, Michigan, man. Again. The the best part of that whole thing is the head coach not only being privy to it, Not only shutting it down. Not shutting it down. But literally telling a player who objected To his face Be a Michigan man.
This is what we do as Michigan men. This is why we're Michigan men. This is how you define a Michigan man. You know, those who break out the blowtorch and use it on the underclassmen. To shave their pubes.
No. to burn them off. I cannot believe that a person in a position of authority said, be a Michigan man. Incredible. At Russell Grow, even Penn State thinks this Michigan story is sick.
I will give you this, Michigan man. Not as sick as Penn State. Penn State does not get to weigh in on this. Michigan Penn State does not have an opinion or is not allowed opinion on this. Hey, Penn State, why don't you just stick to your Joe Paterno family experience room and not judge anybody else?
You don't get to judge anybody else ever for anything, Penn State. And then a few more things. This guy's claiming to be Jim Rome's chat dupe. I'm not in chat. I've never been in chat.
Never. Not once. I have never thought. Physically been in chat. I can pretty much promise you right now, I never will be physically in chat, at least, not as long as I host the show.
I've never been in before. I've never been in after. I do not have a burner. How do these theories start even? At Jim Rome Show, the moon landing was faked, and Rome is in the chat.
I'm just gonna ask one more time. How would I benefit? From having a burner and being in chat. If there's something I want to say to y'all, I'm just going to say it. Why do I need to go?
Because I could say things in chat that I can't say here? I have better things to do. No offense, chat. I love you, chat. I'm glad that you found your own place and your own show and you're part of the ecosystem.
I love chat. Chat's one of the best developments ever for the brand.
However I don't need to be in there. And I'm not. Charles Lee, quote, just let chat produce the show. W Wisdom of the Crowds. I'm glad you found your place.
I'm glad you're a part of the ecosystem. Just know that I'm not there. Uh Paz Bruin. Rome also flies the drones during breaks, burns up the chat, and conducts these interviews when fire takes. Yeah.
How can I conduct an interview and be in chat? thumbing things out at the same time. I can't physically. Mentally and physically, I can't do that. I'm also the one flying the drones, getting all those sick bump-in live shots.
of SoCal.
Okay, just so you know, just so you know what I'm doing. While I'm bringing us back from takes, I'm actually under the desk. controlling those drones. While at the same time, thumbing out some genius fire takes. That's me.
I'm doing that right now. Wait, wait, wait. That's me. That's me. Getting you that six shot.
Beautiful day in LA. Traffic moving pretty well. That's me. Chad, how are we doing? For who?
For what? Why? Why? Here's the thing. I know we make it look easy.
But it's not as easy as we make it look. And certainly, it's not easy enough that I could do those things. I wish I were that sharp. I wish I could do those things. I can't.
I'm not even gonna pretend that I can. All right, when we come back. Hopefully an ATP or two. Alvi, I know we'll have his week there was. I can promise you that.
I can guarantee you that. and then went to the weekend with some serious ball. Serious ball.
Alright, stay tuned. You're listening to the Jim Rome Show. Time for the ATP, brought to you by O'Reilly Auto Parts. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts 12 of your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. The Sandlots In.
Jim, I recently heard you say that you've put down the forty two. What has replaced it? And I sure as hell hope it's not those Reese's, Pieces, Oreos. Have a pop, my guy. You deserve it.
Reese's, penis, peanut butter, cups. Yeah, no, I I I'm not replacing the Friday pop. With the sugar or the pantry. The Friday pop generally is. It's a slippery slope.
It's a gateway. The Friday Pop is a gateway to the pantry. I'm much more likely not to end up in the pantry if I don't have the Friday pop. But if I have to pick between the two, I'm going to take the Friday Pop, except the Friday Pop almost inevitably leads to the pantry run. No, I just I would say this.
those Friday, Saturday pops and again, for those of you who don't know, I do not deviate from this. My routine has always been I don't imbibe, I don't drink beer, wine or anything Sunday through Thursday. And I'm not making myself out to be a monk, I just don't. I work at night. I always bring work home.
I've always worked at night. And I never drink at night. But I go as hard as I can. Every day, all day, in the day. Until the end of the week.
And then on Friday, I'll have one or two, responsibly, but. I'll do that. I will tell you this. At this point in my life, the bounce back is not nearly. As effective as it used to be.
I've always said this. Whenever we would do anything on a Friday or a Saturday, Jano and I, me and the guys, whatever, no matter what it was, no matter what it involved, it was always worth it. Always. No matter how I felt Saturday morning. No matter what happened on Saturday, one, the bounce back was always there.
Two, it was always worth it.
Now at this point in my life, it's almost never worth it.
So, when you ask me what I replace it with, I haven't really replaced it. I don't have a go-to. I don't know, we'll see. We'll see. But no, not the Oreos.
Rest assured it won't be that. I'm still gonna need something stronger on a Friday than an Oreo, even an orange Oreo. Alvie, are you ready? Roll it. Welcome to the jungle.
A very good Tuesday to you. And those long holiday weekends are strange, right? All of a sudden, you wake up, it's not Monday, it's Tuesday. Last time was not Sunday, it was Monday. I mean, it's confusing to all of us what day it is, but not nearly as confusing as it is to Kaoshan.
I think it's Monday.
However, though, it's Sunday. Bless you. Wait until Lane gets out a shovel, digs up Al Davis to say, yo, why don't you fire up that overhead projector and let everybody know exactly how my ass tastes. When did we ever have a separate secret clock? It could have been out there right now, still chucking it in the end zone.
We're going to stay out here until they complete that pass, all right? That's what the secret clock says. Best shirt I ever wore when I was growing up was Ann Arbor's a whore.
Well, Ann Arbor's not only a whore, she's also a lion, cheat, and skank. He is Kevin Pilar. From one former 818er to another. Thanks for having me on. I've been a big fan of the show for years.
Questions are being asked by investigators about sex and drug use within the program. Yeah. Talk to the Han Luna, yes, yes. This answer was not in any way doctored by Alva. He actually said, and I quote, talk to the Hanoi, talk to the Han London.
I'm enjoying right now by the champ, Ryan Garcia. I mean, I'm not going to say that I'm sober as, you know, a monk or something. I don't know if monks are sober, but I know if I keep doing that, I won't win.
So at the end of the day, you got to let s go. I know Michael McConnell. I love that rock. I think he's Alva Coach. Hey, he's got a great voice.
He can really build it out. He's the king of y'all rock. I can't carry this on much longer. One of the NFL's dirtiest words. Oh, the D-word.
Distraction. I thought the dirty word was affair, adultery, couples, retreat. Is distraction one of those words on Jerome TV channel I'm not allowed to say? It was the meat whistle, and now it's distraction. What's more likely?
Running it back with Justin Gacey, or maybe a fight with Patty Pimlet. Both sound good to me. Which one sounds better? Listen, anything I say on this show, there's going to be a hundred of these goofy Instagram goes. Hey, the white just announced Patty Pimlet for you.
You know what I mean? When is the smack off? The world will not come to an end without the smack off.
Now, the world may come to an end if the robots take over.
Now that I've laid this out, maybe we'll have a major rally. And maybe we do have a smack off. The best parts about this show for 20-some years have been Jim's take and the callers. But unfortunately, the callers have been letting me down. Please bring back the smack off, pick up the phone, get back in the game.
Hey, what happened to Stu, man? Is he still around? You know, Stu. He had the huge calls of the day. I still got mine.
It's you send a video game out, man. I don't know if you guys still do that. Right me, Jim. I wanted to address what Vic's going to bring to you for a smack off call. It's going to be called The Scent of a Clone.
He is whack. He's getting bodied right now. I mean, damn, dude. Were you the one having an affair? Dina Rossini or your coach?
That was a straight-up gift for Seattle. Bob Chesney is joining us. You know, there's more energy being thrown at it from them and more energy thrown at it by us.
So I just think we're at the right moment in time where it's starting to spin at a high rate of speed. But we played one game, Jim.
So there's a whole lot. More work, obviously, to be done. Both Zach Taylor and Al Golden have the potential to be permanent members of my cherished coaching ass list. You like Will Levis is not a coach. Yeah, but we had to throw Will Levis on there just because he's ass.
But look at these other guys. Christian Four joining us.
So he's actually got a leg up on me, but I wasn't like, you know, taking steroids, you know, in the basement of the stadium like he was.
So I'm just saying, that's what he's doing. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, may definitely. No, you're not. You're there for the love of the money. You're there for the love of yourself.
You're there for the love of the camera. You're there for the love of the attention. This has got nothing to do with baseball. Thank you. Mom, you're mom.
What's your beef? Romy, you silly rabbit. My beef is with my deadbeat husband, Jim. We rarely wrestle anymore. Hey, buddy, what about Mona in Knoxville?
Oh, hey, Rome. Could you please play that call by that guy in San Antonio who says he's a badass? Casey Casey. Am I playing request now? That little tiny clock on everyone's oven.
We have AI capable of destroying humanity, but my oven isn't smart enough to remember. 49ers in the ranch playing Kangaroo Land when they should be playing Cali. Hey, no, Mission's impossible. Hey, uh, hey, uh, uh, I got a beef with athletes. My beef is with grown men who dip their foot in the pool?
Dude, it's 115 degrees outside. Just jump in. Are you that afraid to get wet? Warriors. Not being afraid to get wet with Brabul.
All their polos, all their khakis, all their resources, all that.
So embarrassed. You're supposed to go out and dominate your in-state opponent. What my opinion didn't win that football game because there wasn't a single second left on that clock. Ball, ball, ball, ball, get ball, get ball. C-ball, get ball.
Yeah, thanks so much. We'll see you at the game here really soon. I want to open the exit door and just hopefully the plane sucks you out. I'm going to go. Be on them like a hobo on a ham sandwich.
Have a take. What is your take? Can you play some little out? The elk. When he's uh You know, Steve Elkerton wore C-Town, wore Furball.
Good night now! Yeah, that's how you end the week. John in Seatown, a little reset right there. Nice job, Bobby. Huge call.
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Have an amazing weekend. See you Monday. We are out.
