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Understanding Emotional Intelligence, Ep 128, Audio

The Cure / Aimee Cabo
The Truth Network Radio
February 28, 2021 4:08 pm

Understanding Emotional Intelligence, Ep 128, Audio

The Cure / Aimee Cabo

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February 28, 2021 4:08 pm

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Why some men cry and some don't, why some of us are closed emotionally, are we emotionally intelligent with psychologist Dr Ilona Jerabek, on the latest The Cure with Aimee Cabo.


Dr. Ilona Jerabek, Ph.D. serves as the president and Scientific Director of PsychTests AIM Inc., a division of Plumeus Inc. PsychTests offers both individuals and corporations the opportunity to evaluate aptitudes, attitudes and personality traits in an interactive way. As Scientific Director of PsychTests, Dr. Jerabek has demonstrated strong statistical and research skills, and extensive experience in statistics, research design and psychological test construction. Her work requires knowledge of mathematical modeling of human behavior and artificial intelligence concepts. Dr. Jerabek has written or collaborated on the development of more than 200 scientifically validated Psychological assessments and several matching applications. She possesses solid skills in database and system design, and has managed the development of a database of 10,000 items covering hundreds of topics from personality to intelligence, attitudes, and skills. Dr. Jerabek has been involved in numerous projects, and continues to work in the capacity of a test developer, project manager, scientific advisor, subject matter expert, compatibility expert and business and HR consultant.


The Cure Radio™ live talk syndicated radio show and live-streamed podcast is hosted by Aimee Cabo and offers a platform of hope to anyone who has experienced or is currently experiencing domestic violence, abuse, trauma, mental health, or other challenges that affect your life. It's a place to find comfort, knowledge, strategies, answers, hope, and love, and so much more, all while you are healing your wounds and knowing that you are loved and not alone.

Join Aimee and her professional guests live on The Cure with Aimee Cabo Video Podcast  every Saturday at 1 PM EST recorded during the live radio show. The radio show is streaming through satellite on more than 150 radio stations in the USA and available internationally and then on Sirius XM Channel 131 on Sunday at 5 pm ET.

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Aimee hopes that anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind, have experienced any traumas or walked a moment in similar shoes, will find inspiration in these pages, and hope that love and truth will ultimately prevail. Please subscribe and share this podcast.


Please check our app The Cure with Aimee Cabo in Apple Store, The Cure App and now available on Android_ The Cure App


Aimee Cabo Nikolov is a Cuban American who has lived most of her life in Miami. After many years of healing, finding love, raising a family and evolving her relationship with God, Aimee's true grit and courage led her to pen an honest, thought-provoking memoir. Years of abuse became overshadowed with years of happiness and unconditional love. Now Aimee is the president of IMIC Research, a medical research company, a transformational speaker, syndicated radio host and focused on helping others. You can read more about Aimee by visiting her website.


Dr. Boris Nikolov is the CEO of Neuroscience Clinic. You can read more about Dr. Nikolov and the work he is doing by visiting his website.


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Hey guys getting ready to start the RadioShack getting ready to start the mediation can be very interesting because it's just an emotion, something we have only emotionally intelligent get pain. I think I'm not getting conscience and actually emotion to healthy and they can mean that when Marceline set the good thing if he had had a management guy I know he can.

I believe we can get this and say hello and a beautiful sunny day in Miami is Moses hello, thank you for joining us. If you are the government's actually, or probably a couple seconds anything that will restore the show and hopefully look at the guests that he is and she doesn't hear me see him soon and Amy, wife can bring many difficult situations. Mystic violence addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome Amy, Q from amazing today. I shows available light on your radio also like to that year on any smart phone in our website God is to see their broadcasting live from man to satellite 135 radios in 11 states and serious XM channel 131 on sale and social media, and soon after that shall any podcast and wanted to thank our social media followers, especially since you in reaching an average of 1 million people every month since 21. Thank you and thank God for show just the suffering and the tenacity of the human spirit.

The will to survive in the carriage to keep moving forward despite any obstacle with the help of God, who enables us to help each other. They provide testimonials to let people know that were not alone, and they shall that testimony started with me having been a survivor from child abuse well into young adulthood. We also had expert in several fields and inspirational speakers that are willing to help us with valuable information. Knowing that education is necessary. Awareness is crucial in conflict is very much I do believe we all suffer or have suffered from something and we hope to be a source of healing for each other just to let you face now. I tried everything and God was my only chair that other forms of care are presented as well to service life will always be challenging but always know there's always someone who cares if no one at all. At least contact us. This only played earlier was no tears left to cry.

I every Anna Grandy here's my take. We are all in this child's life equally loved. Carefully knit together piecing it all as we go and giving it our best luck trying to beat the weather, it can seem cold at times, harsh and full of rain and if we don't get just in bulk law it can drive anyone insane surviving. No matter what. Staying strong is the key by printing all the time until something better that we see stick to God knows is best and wiped away her tears, who kept his promises and gave his words full of hope to put away her fears crying and emotions are okay a tender heart is always good balance it with faith and logic, and God will take us where we should.

Today we will talk about emotional intelligence and vulnerability with our special guest Dr. Ilona Jared Peck young Arabic serves as the president and scientific director of psych tests in psych tests offers both individual and corporations the opportunity to evaluate aptitudes, attitudes, and personality traits in an attractive way. Dr. Gary Beck has written or cooperated on the development of more than 200 scientifically validated psychological assessments and several matching applications in Anna. Welcome to the care so get to happy. Thank you so much. Every Internet, can you describe for listeners what it means for people to be emotionally vulnerable people and that eventually sharing data file sharing that they admit a mistake not being opening up to others about what is going on in their heart and mind.

I mean that not being on guard all the time, eventually showing up our self to ourselves and to other it also made that the ability to apologize properly that not only a story about actually reviewing how what what would mistake you made while you feel regret about what you have done operating on a quarterly apology and also a way to make up for what you have done.

It is about admitting short admitting law.

It is about dropping the being able to jump well your heart on your equipment by being able to block let them hearing it sounds very unifying.

It's kind of you know the things that Jesus taught us and you know it has a lot to do with accountability and ownership which are very great qualities that it's important to have it tallied well until we get to understand one another. Why do people find this type of vulnerability still offputting. Why would someone want to avoid it.

If you allow yourself to be more ignorable you are opening your boat up to potential bouquet right like people.

People can put you down people offered to it can feel and birthing so we are especially men are wired to avoid that kind of situation because they want to be able to be seen strong as the protectors as the bread that that's how they had been socialized for a generation generation, and even though that is changing these days all very much ingrained in our DNA, so do you suppose her confusing kindness with weakness. I cannot. I believe the article is saying we are confusing admitting that actual week okay because our studies show that that that man and women who are in general people in general when they are able to admit weakness.

They actually benefit on many different global and it take person to admit though it's a little bit of goodwill but differently from all five admitting weaknesses.

It actually makes us mentally tougher, it gives a great team to overcome the cold and I in general, so it makes more well. Interestingly enough, he did reveal that in the study being honest about feelings and mistakes even though there's a risk of rejection actually make people happier.

Even though it may seem counterintuitive, though, people who are willing to admit mistakes and shoulder will not bode okay your actual experience a higher life started action they tend to be more qualitative. Are they even higher self-esteem that people who are trying to hide on that much, much more able to motivate themselves. So the benefits are really Newmark and that it makes them comfort into it because you are showing right to take the strong person to be able to do that and Ed and the hope of to be closer to one another and learned that most relationships are symbiotic. We help each other when somebody does show their vulnerability and their willing to admit their faults and their feelings. The person that they're interacting with is happier about that and therefore they can also and it makes the relationship whatever relationship it may be healthier and hence making them happier people otherwise are pretty miserable exactly because it allowed for quote right when you open up to someone else to give them permission to open up as well.

I will promote the well-being of your emotions and physical health. So, well, this is something that on here, in the show deals with suffering the spirit and courage of God. I was forced into my abortion I choice people to others choices for me, every Saturday at one Eastern on the truth so first we shouldn't drink because the bottle back on this back in things pertaining into the care with Amy And also remember that you can listen to the radio show life throw up. The cure was amicable or as a focus, just look for God is the cure on any book got close waffle song that just played my schedule days my neck and this is what I get.

With the help of the Holy Spirit.

Of course prayer should be constant. There's no telling how we can grow. There's just learning from mistakes .us God shows us what we need to now, staying close to God living for real and doing it right is what life has taught us to do by creating a path that shed some light. Keep in mind if we are careless and bleeping and hit need to send so easily we can get lost, vulnerable to evil and misery section. We were met for so much more because of Christ. Our life can change our perception trying to create new level becoming better as our past seems strange, the good old days with God are endless still growing up another knee no longer lit scene from before but peace and happiness.

Texture we are talking about emotional intelligence with special guest Dr. Ilona Arabic now so tell us what is emotional intelligence is a welcoming and started a late 80s but it was not until 95 when Daniel Goldman intelligence book came out and is been a lot of research and a lot of research and might my company is buying one of the groups that worked on it like a bed and something that felt coursework handed and the college and when the classic intelligent but interesting thing that other things being equal, meaning like being equal, with high emotional intelligence are the major advantage in terms of life and performance at work any level actually might think that it so important for people working in management or HR but actually make the difference regardless of the rank in the company so people with emotional intelligence that tends to have more success in life. Again, other things being equal, though I you and of about recognizing emotion in your spell as well.

In other I suppose that regulating our emotion. Being able to quote for ourselves to that kind of thing, but it also about that of having our emotion work together with our rational soul. Recall that emotional creation of rational thinking and what got me is that you emotion you would leave the information you milk it for information and then you use that information in the rational processing so that makes it so powerful, so people who suppress their emotions and what not going to even look at them thinking that emotions have no place in the book.

For example, they are putting themselves at the because they are living a bit of information on the table that is available to that.

So basically, consult your emotions before you ask, and determine what's appropriate. Be slow to anger is a very low volume and I want to get this maybe you and I our rational mind that only through the information that is available of the iceberg like likely memory. But that emotion access to the bottom of the iceberg role in the sun. If you emotion that are not available to the rational mind.

You have much more to work with everything that the experience is actually encoded in our body. Even if he already forgot well, but it still long you will populate that that have a direct blank to break and you will populate that are based on things that we have learned and deposit but forgotten the advances with people and its relation that we have acquired Toyota sold our lot helped us to form certain copy and possibly get activated when we encounter a similar situation, or a person who resembles someone in our path actually is one of our perception of what is really going on in our reality and what we need to keep in mind is that our perception of reality does not equal the reality right even if you look at and you like yourself to be a logical rational person will experience pain how you situation how you would like to basically having golf that paid a very different picture from someone else you might be in the same situation but make the statement quite different, but actually you." This this is how I feel we can get the wrong idea and I learned this just recently, you know, there's the such thing as evil.

You know and they can give you the wrong idea that the temptation you have to think beyond. They can even give you the wrong feeling you have to act upon it. And you know it goes a long way to spending a little bit more thought into it and just not falling for it because it seems that that's our environment. Everybody eats just seems so easy to have a short fuse and just lose control and get that and just let emotions take over when we are so much better than that. I got it, the more clearly we are close to God, the more emotionally diligent with the lower tried that doesn't mean that you can think beyond that we could use our intellects.

It's fair okay including your tests. Dr. about John W Taylor for influencing well it helps me know. Like I once when we talk about emotional images is removed those your story goes on 866-34-TRUTH one is more a question that people were all grandson is her usual job. Throw the wrong ways as long as Jason all the wrong days. Also, the they went the wrong mom. James was amicable length can bring many difficult situations. Mystic violence addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome Amy, Q, I, you hear, and our website.

God is Newco socials are available as a readable coastal's will just look for is the cure was amicable or type. God is the cure.

In the book of schools for work that some lies.

One thing right by marshmallow and cane brown use may take marshmallows and snow. Does the food source. We've had our ups and downs and then mistakes all kinds of bad grace allowed it to take place. Lessons lead to peace, no longer sat regrets helpdesk well, so much we can do wrong learning what we shouldn't do in fighting made a strong guy was always on our side due to chaos turned to pride if one thing we did dear Ray is turned to God's word. We must abide he saw Dennis is our purpose. I nearly had it all along, kind enough to give us choice.

Most of us return the basil we are discussing emotional intelligence for special guests, Dr. Jarrett was mentioned a little bit about God before we went into break because I do believe God can change negative perception into a positive one. Negativity never helped anyone so Ilona, what advice would you give to someone who's not used to being open about his or her feelings. How can they start opening up if it's not something they're accustomed to. It is not easy for people like that because they have been conditioned to help grow their childhood and better adult development to fill.

It is not that it is totally doable.

So there are two aspects of K that admitting what your spell and then admitting it with other no we all have our baggage right and we got our own blog but in general be generalized men and "so that I would say that your spell okay. You don't have to disclose that to others that makes you uncomfortable to hold open to start looking inside yourself putting on God even in front of yourself. Okay so very much that might be found in the work that needs to be done before you are able to go and open up to others, you can start with yourself. Just even if it like looking at an event or an odd that you might you might have had with the workers out, and looking back with client side and find out how your path. Experience how your perception of that reality. Once your reaction emotional thinking as well as behavior identifying triggers and identifying the stories that you tell yourself in your mind that one your reaction to a specific situation. Gradually you will be able to catch yourself earlier and earlier. So before you start on the slope.

You will actually be able to cut yourself and all the fun. Okay hold on I am reacting strongly to with my wife and why is that inside what is it out. That situation that triggered Congress and then when you are able to pick yourself you actually have the power to modify your own bonding rather than just reacting emotionally without without any focus that will be the first step and then you can start opening up and people whom you place you allow you for death. They say who you will know that they will not walk today will reject you if you show vulnerability and gradually you get more and more out of your comfort zone and that you start believing the benefit of 500 ability to to show yourself show the self okay with that. Without that persona that you're trying to portray and one that that was encouraging you to do that more often with more and more people may still write like you become sick and I'm so it may not be appropriate to show vulnerability in certain situation, but that doesn't those where you feel safe. I like to think what would be a humble response most pleasing to God because it helps me up about kids. What can parents do when you are comfortable with their emotions i.e. teenagers not well the nature sure about open so you can start much Better situation, though of course start at age even if you're in your 80s night though do the work and and and start modifying your perception of that ideal target market because the they are more natural and that differences between the socialization of girls and boys are not that that Ted start become more and more apparent as it age. Of course, and in a people saying things like boys don't cry tough enough that kind of thing definitely on that block that I was talking about those types stay away from miles from from the tough talk maybe changing these days men where abundance get ahead and bad days. They called us brothers to understand God's knee doing away a little bit with the gender type stereotypes to an extent, with the procreate space for them to express them like a puzzle unless you claustrophobic to go to yeah I got so I think they said they don't feel good. Rejection is a open don't get overprotected okay because that man life and the helicopter pattern thing and overprotective parents at two are not doing that that any favors because they don't equip them come from from from the heartbreak like they want to put the dedicate from harm's way, but there would they are essentially doing is that they are preventing them from experiences shape the car that actually developed to correct so it isn't for men to cry is how does it benefit crying has people crying and crying is the ultimate expression of bulleted I technically though it is allowed to leave the pension to relieve the pain kind of get it out of your system and you have most likely experience after you. You have a good cry would feel better right and almost like an endorphin that E doing Christ spell and no depressed.

Well, I mean a delicate balance in life degree. But the thing that you don't allow yourself to motion if you like love, by and about emotions and how we handle it wanted 66 Romans eight verse 26 says we do not know what we want to pray for the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Listen to me. Have you ever had a burden so great you didn't even know where to begin. Employer when we don't know what to say. The spirit does when we don't know what to ask for the spirit does when we don't know how to express the depth of our feelings spirit does his praying for you now this is a engram lots no.

And the union every Saturday at 1 PM Eastern medium and I think here and in such a media just for God is that your genius and also the show will be available support close and also to Social Security become spilled and I am a W with typing God is secure in the book us, which is secured in cultural song that just played a hell many years. Some guys that I get from until we find a different way. Loneliness can overtake the lessons taught by God separates what's real and what's fake. God is our true family comfort in guiding light with him. There's always hope leads our way and gives a site hard times will continue. Eventually we learn to navigate such rough waters can be a crime.

It's for the best and for our sake everyone soon will understand. They truly are sweet.

God's creation given more than we deserve. He is our rock, our refuge and salvation. We are continuing our conversation with our special guest Dr. Ilona Arabic discussing vulnerability and emotional intelligence. Anything should be not too long ago I saw on in LinkedIn J that emotional intelligence is the greatest intelligence to have though we are with these partial lockdown in many places, how that is affecting his emotional or compromising our emotional intelligence well loaded emotions are flying by situations like hard time like the fund that make sense to exit and to aid our natural though some people think about it about and in others it brings out the worst and might be within the same person situation that might do one or the other.

So I most definitely help to cope with the situation of the coping skills. It gives us the ability to call for ourselves to express what they are feeling about the situation and be honest with ourselves and others so for an opportunity by large will increase the all important emotions and in a way that it can.

That's what I see as the silver lining in the situation is that it can bring us closer it gets up an opportunity to look back at our life to consider what is really important for so an index fund that bank fumbled back to the situation now people who are high in emotional intelligence. An easier time coping with what is going on because they are able to recognize what's happening in their heart and that and they are able to manage that emotion because if you don't have the 11 I you know what is going on you might be reacting to the situation. You might be actually compensating an unhealthy way.

So prayer for want of growth or practice in general. One of the group good coping mechanism because the help of get in touch with ourselves, but also with the universe at large.

So, that the great, but it also gives them the opportunity to explore ourselves and that the person on inside and out toward assault open up just as beautiful about self-control. If we choose not to impulsively, you know, we asked what we immediately feel and we handle the situation better. Do feel better about ourselves. So you know it's difficult to do. A lot of times so that I heard that you can master card Angel to help you with your anger up also write like I you can share your feelings with your spouse with your family you can and you can develop your empathetic skills so that you understand what others might be feeling and you bet that makes you a better helper so only thing I hope cope with the situation and it also gives us an opportunity to feel gratitude for what will be ordered to have and that is one of the things that are important and one of the best coping mechanisms.

A gratitude journal or to develop a routine to show gratitude. And that is actually one of the ways our kit to develop emotional intelligence and that that emotional grid to the fable of, for example, would be grateful or just before, but I can be part of the prayer. So, in general, this made it and talk to them anyway. But at the same time.

Hardships like that help us grow and they provide us the lesson that we need to learn and that's how we should know that were being emotionally intelligent. What is it that we need to show in order to be a good example to others for sure, you can take a Great but also look on the side and just say you know am I admitting to myself what am I feeling able to label my emotion.

Okay so and can I go a little deeper to identify what is really bothering one of the classic examples would be in the husband leaving on the floors and wipe it away would get that feeling I you know the situation emotionally and she does not know what is really bothering about the tuition but if you look beyond just hope she understands that what is really bothering her that she pursued a lot all by respect, to feel like she is being taken for granted and say is being used or she feel like a like a servant that she can communicate stuff to her house open. I put that information he can change his behavior and can assure both.both you think okay so that's the power of emotion because they show you what is the bottom of the issue. Knowledge On the surface, you can get into this and try to get them to pray in words that and any take a message. We have one last logical methods would be use this opportunity to move on the inside understand yourself better because your self 11 is a very powerful tool to let you see the world and if you understand what that would kind of messages you tell yourself what kind of throwing your path, past experiences has been developed then you can start changing things are productive and more likely to make you feel better that your site is our happiness.

Instead, the doctors think having a nice sweet and additional it was. It's been wonderful and thank you so much for being with us today.

Thank you very much for having me more information on Dr. Ilona Jerry, thank and the testator. You can be found on her website cleaned so let's finish with the paradise heavenly father in Jesus name. Please help me to dwell in the secret place today. Help me to remain stable and fixed under your shadow, keep my emotions even keel today.

Help me to just focus on you so that you can make me perfectly stable in every way. Thank you father and to sustain is clearly laid out his human prescription for anxiety in the Bible.

Philippians 467. It tells us be anxious for nothing, that in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds to Christ Jesus. Heavenly father, I think carrying on these worries around and I can't do it anymore. I can handle it. And I know you never meant for me to carry the stuff anyway. So father in Jesus name. Please help me to be anxious for nothing, that in everything with prayer and supplication with plenty of Thanksgiving please help me to make my requests known to you and father that your piece which surpasses all understanding that my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Thank you father thank you I give you all my burdens right now and I receive your rest here is that when non-capital kind to yourself

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