ESTABLISHING GOOD RELATIONSHIPS, Audio ep.115

Hi guys. We're getting ready to start the radio show as we wait for our guests to come on. And we wait for the radio to begin any minute now.

It's going to be a great show. It's going to talk about establishing good relationships and effective communication. Something that we all need, I believe.

And it's very central in life, if you ask me. And Bobby wants to say hello. You always say that. Bobby wants to say hello. Okay, Bobby will say hello. And hello.

And back to Amy. Please stay with us. We'll start soon. How soon do you think? As soon as God is willing. You know he's in control of everything.

Yes, he is. So, God will it. It will happen. Soon. It always does. Like right now.

Even if it looks bad. Anyway, we need to wait for people to log in, right? Yeah. I got what you need. Everybody make you shout, but I know you're a great little baby. Everything you do is amazing. Ain't nobody got to go crazy. I got what you need. Everybody make you shout, but I know you're a great little baby.

I've been overseas going crazy. I could tell you love it when we made up. Black and gray diamonds like a rater. Orange peel, your love is real. Love and skill, I need some love and skills. Love my dad draws in, love me still. Eyes come lazy, but she is real.

Dress to kill. We keep on bumping time. The Cure with Amy Cabo. Life can bring many difficult situations.

Domestic violence, addictions, poverty, and even sexual abuse by your loved ones. Welcome, Amy Cabo and The Cure. Good afternoon and welcome to The Cure radio show.

I'm your host, Amy Cabo, with my amazing partner, Boris. Oh, I'm amazing today. Thank you.

Most of the time. Thank God. Thank you. Our show is available live on your radio, also through our app, The Cure, on any smartphone, and our website, GodIsTheCure.com. We're broadcasting today live from Miami through satellite, available in 35 radios in more than 11 states, and live on social media.

And soon after the show, any podcast player. This show deals with suffering, the tenacity of the human spirit, the will to survive, and the courage to keep moving forward, despite any obstacle, with the help of God, who enables us to help each other. We provide testimonials to let people know that we're not alone. And in this show, the testimony started with me, having been a survivor from child abuse, well into young adulthood. We also have experts in several fields and inspirational speakers that are willing to help with valuable information. Knowing that education is necessary, awareness is crucial, and comfort is so very needed. I do believe we all suffer, or have suffered from something, and we can be a source of hope and healing for each other. Life will always be challenging, but always know there's always someone who cares. If no one at all, at least God does.

The song we played earlier was Go Crazy by Chris Brown and Young Thug. And this is my take. When we ask God to grow, it can sometimes rain. It can have us up all night, but rest assured, it's never in vain. When life hits hard, we miss God, the one who takes our battles and makes things right.

We are mistaken if we believe that alone, we can win the fight. We are reminded God is all we need, as discouraging as it may be. Only He can clear our minds, bring us peace, change our lives, and set us free. God knows our hearts, and when we're falling apart, He can tell if we're being real. And the more genuine we become, the greater our love skill and the more pain we feel. With God, what we do is amazing. He is telling us, just go crazy. He will believe in us even when our eyesight goes hazy.

Like just now. Blind trust builds faith as we become our best. There will be times that we feel weary.

Just know that God provides rest. And today we have an amazing guest all the way from Trinidad, Corinne Lafont. Corinne Lafont has been a public relations practitioner for the past 10 years. While living in Jamaica for 21 years, she established herself as a columnist with the Jamaica Gleaner, a national daily newspaper as well as offering professional services in publishing and digital marketing for clients globally. Upon her return home to Trinidad in 2017, she registered her business Lafont & Associates, a public relations and communications consultancy, to address the needs of communication, strategy, and crisis management, content creation, and publication as well as digital marketing and strategy. She has been a Toastmaster since 2012 and is a member and president of Leaders Beyond Borders Online Advanced Toastmasters Club. She's an award-winning author, mom of two boys aged 25 and 17, and loves Latin dancing.

Like you. Yes. Corinne, thank you for being on the show. You are now live. Thank you so much, Amy.

It's a pleasure to be here. Now, Corinne, as a communication expert, do you find communication important in anything we do? What is effective communication as opposed to unproductive communication? My dear, communication is extremely important, and what people need to realize is that no matter what aspect of your relationship, what type of relationship you're having, whether it's a co-worker, whether it's a host, or as people say, a significant other if you're not married, even with your children, community members, it doesn't matter.

This type of relationship you have, you need to communicate. And communication we know are in different forms. So you have the oral, you have the written, you have, you know. But communication is also body language. And as I said to someone the other day in a conversation, even sex, because I'm allowed to say that on your show, even sex is a form of communication.

It is a way of expressing oneself in a different way to be able to say to another person, this is what I like, this is what I want, this is how I want to be loved. So communication is extremely, extremely important in order to have mutual understanding, respect, and respect of each other. And it's an essential part of everyday living, I believe. I mean, communication is key, and some of us need to work on it. Yeah, me too. Oh, yes.

Go ahead. I mean, I believe it's essential in any relationship for the relationship to be healthy. I mean, could you tell me what are the ramifications of peer communications on the other hand if communication is lacking? Well, if communication is lacking, how are you moving forward? If I don't understand you, and you don't take the time to understand me, which gives the patient the ability to listen, and not just listen, I mean, with intent, with the ability to not come with your own ideas, but listen with an open mind, an open heart, an open soul, an open conscience, to be able to hear what the person is saying and to be able to mirror. So it's not to make the assumption that this is what the person is saying to you. Be clear.

You ask questions to seek clarification, to find out, is this what you are saying to me? Because a lot of these times, Amy, I'm sure you have experienced it yourself, where persons are saying things to you, but that's not really what they are saying. Their body language is in conflict with what they are saying with their mouth or with their hands. They know you can sense through your even intuition that there is more to it than that. There's a story behind it.

There's a reason. There's something else they want to say. And if you keep digging, digging, digging to try to find out what it is, it might be annoying to the other person that you're asking clarifying questions all the time, but you're really trying to get to the root of the matter. And the fact that somebody else is trying to get to the root of the matter shows that the person cares about the other person that they're in communication with, that they really want to know in order to resolve the situation.

So if there's a lack of communication, it means to say, I don't care. I really don't want to know. I'm not interested. I have no respect for you. It doesn't matter how you feel or think. And really, where are you going in our relationship like that?

Nowhere. Right. It's just, it's important. And supposing that all of us have the gifts or the ability, or we may not even know how to communicate effectively. And for someone who may not have those skills, what's the best way to learn communication? Is it by being a good listener, by asking the person, help me understand?

What do you suggest? Well, some of those ways are some of the best ways to start. Some of those ways that you have suggested are the best ways to start.

Practice. Some of the ways to even get involved in a voluntary organization, where you are forced maybe to hear other persons, try to take the lead, or even try to be on the other side of participants and see the kind of reaction you may get from the other person, because you have to be on both sides of the equation to really understand communication, not just being able to give the instruction, but also to receive the instruction. So you know, because communication is about sending and receiving a message. Whatever that message is, you have to really understand what that person is communicating to you. So I would suggest to anyone, if you're having difficulties in communicating, start with probably volunteering or talking with a friend.

That's a shot. And say, listen, I seem to be having a challenge. Of course, you have been telling me that I'm not good at this.

Could you help me? Could you tell me if I am doing this way or that way? And practice. But it is about listening, like you said, and it is about seeking clarifying questions, answers to your questions, digging up a feedback, and being on both sides of the equation.

Be on the side giving the instruction and be on the side receiving the instruction. So if I get this right, the best way to understand communication or understand someone else or to have an open communication is not just to see it from your point of view, but place yourself in the other person's shoes, and you might see it clearer and the communication will continue as we will after this short break. We will continue talking about successful communications. We would love to hear it. We will be right back with Amy Cabo and The Cure.

Amy Cabo and The Cure. This show deals with suffering, the tenacity of the human spirit, and the courage to keep moving forward with the help of God. I want people to know that there's hope. I was forced into my abortion because I didn't think I had a choice. I want people to know there's choices. Well, Amy, my heart is breaking.

I just want you to know that I love you and I thank God for you. Amy Cabo and The Cure. Every Saturday at 1 Eastern on the Truth Network. Amy Cabo and The Cure.

This show deals with suffering, the tenacity of the human spirit, and the courage to keep moving forward with the help of God. Amy Cabo and The Cure. Every Saturday at 1 Eastern on the Truth Network. Every Sunday at 1 Eastern on the Truth Network. And now we will continue with Amy Cabo and The Cure.

Welcome back guys. This is Amy Cabo and thanks for tuning in. Remember that you can listen to the radio show live through our app The Cure with Amy Cabo or through our website that is thecure.com or as a podcast.

Just look for The Cure on any podcast platform. The song that just played was Como La Flor by Selena. How adorable.

A Spanish song suggested by our little one, Michelle. And here's how I was able to come with something out of it. It's a lot of repetitive words. Heartbreak comes in many forms. We know it hurts and it's full of pain.

Sometimes it's shocking and can drive one insane. Nonetheless, we carry on and wish the best for everyone. Hopefully we learn where we went wrong. And if there's someone else to whom we might belong. But know that the change starts with me. I must be, I must become who I want the other person to be. There are people worth fighting for. And there's a reason to increase our effort and do more. Love must be nurtured in order to grow.

Just like a flower, God showed us love and kindness from the first hello. Wow, you are a poet. You should start writing song lyrics. I'm not a singer. That's okay.

You can just write it for them. We're talking to Corinne, right? Yes. Who is helping us with advice on successful relationships and effective communication. Something very important. First, I want to read a little script from Colossians 12 through 14. Which says, Put on then, as God-chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Fearing with one another, and, if one has complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must all also forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Like I say, love is the answer. Yeah.

Okay. God is the cure. God is the cure. Corinne, how did we overcome?

Okay, so we were talking about last, before the show, we were talking about, you know, communications. And if it doesn't work out, as we know, there's a lot of conflict in the world these days. So, how do we overcome hurdles, obstacles in relationships? What can be done? Is there intervention available? The greatest intervention is, as you mentioned, a God and forgiveness.

That's the greatest intervention. I don't know of anything earthly that can work, except a higher source. Whatever person wants to call him who is God, the universe source, whatever it may be, you need a higher source. You are relying solely on yourself in your limited capacity, because we are limited as humans on this earth. And I'm not saying that in a negative way or to make people feel dumb, but we have to really tap into a higher source to be able to get the strength, the grace, the resilience, and discernment to be able to understand what's going on in our respective lives that we interact with others.

If we want to live a joyful and blissful life, which is what I am sure God means for us to have on this earth. That was a great statement. I really love what you said. And it's so true, because a lot of times when there's conflict, it's because we don't understand. And, you know, Jesus said, Turn the other cheek, but a lot of us know it's a lot easier said than done, especially when the other person is not willing to listen or doesn't understand. That's when I say then trust God. God can change anyone's heart.

He can touch anyone and He can rectify any situation. I don't know about the turn the other cheek thing. I mean, it's like somebody is hurting you, then you turn the other cheek and then hurts you some more. Is it even more like different stuff, maybe more like, I don't know, change it somehow? I don't know. Ask God.

He's the expert. I want to make a comment on that. I want to make a comment on that. The turning the other cheek, a lot of us take it literally. You know, it's like you slap me on one side and so I turn the other one so you just slap me on the other. You know what I'm saying? That doesn't feel good. I don't like that idea. It's like, okay, do me in and finish me off. No, no, no.

I'm here. I'm giving you the rest of me to finish me off. No, that's not what it is. To me, it's like you look at yourself in the mirror. You know, there are two sides to everything and you must be able to look at yourself in the mirror because let me tell you something.

A lot of us look externally for answers. Oh, it's Amy. Oh, it's Boris. Oh, it's the world.

Oh, it's my employer. Help you. It cannot resolve the situation. Whatever is happening external is a reflection of what's happening internal. What you are is what you are trying. And so a lot of people don't want to accept that and that's okay. You don't have to accept it. You will just keep repeating in the same cycle.

That's all. And you may not even realise because you're stuck in that space of not realising, oh my God, the same thing is happening over and over again. Why am I attracting the same man?

Why does the same thing keep happening to me? It's because it's you. It's you. It's not Amy. It's not Corrine. It's not Boris.

It's you. And if you don't take stock and become aware and go internally, and I don't mean cut yourself open and dig inside, I mean you have to go on a journey. I have been on a spiritual journey and I am still on that journey because it never ends. Where you have to start accepting who you are. Are you okay with who you are, where you are right now? And I don't mean physically. I mean in the time and space what's going on with you.

And if you're not, do something about it. Dig deep, seek counselling if you need to, somebody to just talk to. Go to God who is going to give you the answer.

He may not answer at the time that you want it because we are earthly beings. We want everything fast and furious like the movie. True story.

How we walk in or drive in and get food. Yes, we want it at our time. True story. The reason why he gives us time is to allow us to be patient, to work on that quality.

And I heard you mention it in Philippines a while ago. To be able to be still and be patient. To wait. Because the waiting is what gets to us as human beings.

We are impatient and we want answers now. But in the stillness and the patience is where we get it. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. Here's where it's difficult to be patient and wait. And where a lot of people run into conflict is that they pray and pray and pray and nothing seems to be changing and things still look bad. And that's when you need to have patience even more so and keep the faith even more so. It's when it looks bad. It's when it looks scary. It's when you really don't understand and you don't want to forgive.

God is turning the other cheek when you do anyway. Okay, we'd love to hear from you. Call us with your question on relationships. 186634 Trud.

186634 Trud. And then we'll continue speaking with Corinne LaFond about successful communications and relationships after the break. We will be right back with Amy Cabell and The Cure. Our name is our virtue But I won't hesitate No more, no more It cannot wait I'm yours Open up your mind See like me Open up your plans Damn you're free Look into your heart And you'll find that The sky is yours So please don't, please don't, please don't There's no need here to complicate Cause our time is short This or this or this is our fate I'm yours And now we will continue with Amy Cabell and The Cure. Welcome back guys. Remember we're live every Saturday at 1pm on your radio on our app The Cure and on our website GodIsTheCure.com All shows are available also as a video podcast. Just look for The Cure with Amy Cabell wherever podcasts are and maybe you can see other podcasts as well.

That was I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. There are times we try to figure it out only to discover our humanity. It can put into perspective our deceptions and our vanity. If pleasing God is what we aim to do, we will succeed, never fail. It's our virtue provided to us all but practiced by the few. God says I'm yours and we are His.

It isn't complicated. It's Heaven's kiss. It's our fate. Let's open our eyes and be set free. The future no one can foresee. Don't compromise yourself or believe the lies. For God, there is no limit to the skies. Once with God, His children prosper and always rise.

Luke 23, 34, Jesus said, Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. We are talking to Corrine Lafont about successful relationships and effective communication. Corrine, we spoke at some length about relationship with others and the people that we love and I wanted to explore a little bit about relationship with the world around us, the friends that we keep. How can we recognize and avoid toxic friends? Can we make a difference?

Should we keep them around or will it cause more harm than good? Unfortunately, we lost the video with Corrine. Sorry. Corrine, if you can try to reconnect, that would be great with the video. But anyway, we have the audio still.

Yeah, I'm trying to connect with the video several times and I'm not getting to where I'm from. Let's talk then. Alright, so thank you for that question, Amy. Toxic people have no place in your life. If you decide you want them around, your life is not going to be one of joy and bliss, which is what God means to you and who could want for yourself.

How do you deal with persons that are toxic or how do you recognize? You know it within you. The fact that you can ask yourself questions. Did we lose her? I think we did. Let's try again. Okay, you can talk if you want, about relationships. And we don't have her anymore, not the video, not the voice. Okay, well, what can I say?

Give us your two cents. So we were talking about toxic friends. I asked that question because just recently I had to get rid of most of my past friends. I tried to make a difference, but it only costs more harm than good. So I think that Corinne has a point and there comes a point in time where you just have to realize what's good for you and what's not. And if you want to walk in righteousness and you want to do the right thing and you want to set a good example, you have to keep in good company. And otherwise, while you're trying to make a difference and make things better, you're really playing with fire and you're likely to get burned. So do we have her back? Did your friends know, Amy, that you were trying to help them to not be toxic?

Well, there is friends that are toxic and sometimes we don't realize it. We think it's all fun and games and we're doing the right thing. Then we get close to God and we see things clear. And we're like, wait a second. This isn't right.

This isn't me. We go back to who we used to be before we learned all the bad stuff. Let me connect you back to the radio. I think we're getting her back. Thank you.

You're welcome. OK, so we're going to have Corinne very soon. That's the tricks of motor communications. OK. So Corinne, do you hear us? Corinne, I guess we don't have her yet. Yeah, we do. We do. Oh, we do. Oh, there she is.

And we have video too. Yeah, Corinne, you're back. God is bigger.

Yes, God is bigger. Corinne, so we were saying, don't try to hang around toxic relationships thinking you can be the good influence because trust me, you'll lose. I've been there, done that. You don't need them.

There's no space. No, no, no. I learned the hard way.

Yes, we all do. And let me tell you, it's hard, but it's the best way to learn. It only took me over 20 years.

It only took over 20 years. For those of us who are very loyal. Yes, and let me tell you, toxic people love people like us who are loyal so that they can continue to abuse you and manipulate and mind control you. But they can only do that for so long.

Corinne, before God steps in, they can only do that for so long. So God is good always. I'd rather be alone than in bad company.

All the time. I'm never alone. I've got great company. And that's our Father who loves and adores us greatly. And there's no better feeling that as much as God loves me, He loves everyone else the same too.

Which is not the same if you're a child with parents. There's a different kind of love. Just like we don't understand.

We can't imagine God's love for us. So, here's a good question, Corinne, because you're a very colorful person. I'm having a lot of fun with you.

What are good aspects or what is a key to a long term relationship success? Oh, I know, I know, I know. Oh, you do?

I do. Please, please enlighten me. I know that answer.

Because I'm still trying to figure that one. I know. It just, it just, it mainly needs to say yes and agree.

Oh, but wait. Oh, that's a man's perspective, Amy. That's a man's perspective.

Once a man, once a man says that, I heard Steve Harvey says the same thing too. Like, just say yes to everything. Just say yes.

Just say yes. So that's a male perspective. And that's okay.

That works too. But we pick up on that, Boris. Okay. We are part of women. We know what you guys are up to, okay?

And how do we know how they really feel? Is that good communication or is that appeasement? Please inform us. Well, I think, I think, I don't, don't tell anybody I said this, okay? Okay. Everybody close your eyes, ears.

Everybody that's listening, close your ears. Yes. Okay, go ahead. Right.

Don't tell anyone I said this, okay? Okay. Because I will say, I've never said it, but as a woman, men say yes to everything. You just, you just say, thanks, honey.

Yay. And you, and you accept it. You accept it depending on what it is that you want.

But you know, if you find that, that there's, you know, you need more or you want to make sure that there's a little balance at times, you know, you can say, hey, honey, I think it would be good if we do so and so or if we do whatever. But at times, check the yes, girl. Check the yes. Check the yes. Why not? If it brings peace, who cares? Anyhow.

Why not? So, but what if, I say make pretend you know the song, you know, but if, if the relationship's struggling, what kind of things could help a relationship that's struggling? And I'm not talking about flowers. They die. Yeah. And it's what the typical abuser does.

Yeah, no, not a good idea. I learned. So give me something unique. If something is struggling. Yes, please. Well, I don't know if there's something unique.

If something is struggling and it reaches to that point, it means to say that you're really at a worse point, that you are loaded to fester and you reach a point of struggling. You should have captured upon that from the beginning. Okay, let's continue after the break. Sorry, Corinne.

Let's hold on that thought. We would love to hear from you also if anybody is listening to us. Tell us your question and ask us a question about relationship.

1-866-34-TRUTH, 1-866-34-TRUTH. Stay with us, please. We will be right back with Amy Cabell and The Cure. I never thought that I'd catch this love bug again. Hopeless head over heels in the moment.

I never thought that I'd get hit by this love bug again. And now we will continue with Amy Cabell and The Cure. Hi again, and thanks for tuning in. We're live every Saturday at 1 p.m. Eastern on your radio and on our app The Cure and on social media. Just look for God Is The Cure because he is.

Yes, he is. And also the later I mean later the show will be available as a podcast. Just search for The Cure with Amy Cabell. Now Amy is spelled with an I and a double E, whatever podcasts are. I'm not French, but it's a French name. But it's your M. In certain people call you M. That sounds like a letter.

Yeah, it's faster. The song that just played was Love Bug by Jonas Brothers. I'm speechless. I thought I knew love. That is until I got to really know our Heavenly Father from above. I can still struggle every day and live on the edge, but it's still amazing. Loving God is my solemn pledge. Speechless I'm also when things go wrong. Grateful always that because of God I remain strong. I was hit with the greatest love bug around when God showed me the world from the day I was found.

I only felt complete when discovering that the missing part of me was the one who created us sacrificed this life to redeem us and set us free. We are talking to Corinne Lafont about successful relationships and communications. And in look 2334. Which is in your shirt. That's yes. Jesus said Father forgive them for they do not know what they're doing.

Yep. God is so good. So please forgive me. Always forgive. Corinne is having a spiritual relationship with a higher being. We are talking about the struggling relationship.

We never covered the struggling relationships. So if you're struggling in a relationship. How do you know whether you should keep trying.

You should keep going. Or it's not worth it anymore. What relationships are worth continuing. When do you feel there's no longer reason to communicate. Very good question.

When you find that the investment is not balanced. So let's say I'm in a relationship with Boris. Forgive me Amy.

But just for this moment. Allow me to be in a relationship with Boris. So let's say I'm in a relationship with Boris. And I am investing more in making the relationship worse than he is. You need to cut your losses. You're giving more of yourself than the other person is willing to give. Isn't that love? You need to make a decision there and then.

Are you still going to. No my dear. That is not love. It must be equitable. It must be balanced. Reciprocal. I believe we talk about equalling you.

Reciprocal right? But the fact that you're struggling. Clearly there is something. Yeah. It has to be a balance. I am giving as much as you are.

You are giving as much as I am. Yeah. What if one is always forgiving and the other one does barely needs to be forgiven. No no it doesn't work like that. Not for me. No no. No no.

No no. Which means that the other person is saying you are to blame. The other person is to blame all the time.

And you have to keep taking the blame. That's toxic. Get out. Not bad. Not good. Not bad.