Share This Episode
Running to Win Erwin Lutzer Logo

Miles Apart In The Same House Part 2

Running to Win / Erwin Lutzer
The Truth Network Radio
October 4, 2021 1:00 am

Miles Apart In The Same House Part 2

Running to Win / Erwin Lutzer

On-Demand Podcasts NEW!

This broadcaster has 777 podcast archives available on-demand.

Broadcaster's Links

Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.

October 4, 2021 1:00 am

Many marriages begin happily, but quickly descend into conflict. We display the hidden rebellion that’s marked all of us since Adam and Eve. God has a solution to humanity’s deepest problems; He can heal broken relationships. 

 Click here to listen (Duration 25:02)

The Steve Noble Show
Steve Noble
Building Relationships
Dr. Gary Chapman
The Rich Eisen Show
Rich Eisen
Core Christianity
Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier

Marie Morris looking to Jesus phone number for many marriages begin happily but quickly discerned into conflict as husband and wife display the latent rebellion is marking every human since anatomy today how we can apply God's solution to man's deepest problem and heal broken relationships from the Moody Church in Chicago. This is when Dr. Moser is clear.

Teaching helps us make it across the finish line.

Mr. Luther families are in trouble when mom and dad don't get along.

In today's message will be telling us that relationship problems began a long time ago. You know Dave, you're absolutely right, of course, Adam and Eve had no idea that when God gave them that son called Cain that he would become a murderer brokenness merger and the that's the history of the human race but yet at the same time God leads his dear children, you know my father was in a church in Canada many years ago. Of course, and he saw my mother, he asked if he could walk her home. She worked about a half-mile from the church on a farm first date.

He asks whether or not she would marry him. She said she'd have to think about it, but within three weeks they were married they lived together for 77 years now, I tell that story because recently I gave an interview to Philip Miller, entitled the past, the present and the future. I talked about my past, because I wanted people to understand that there's really no connection between my upbringing and all the opportunities God has given me and I do so and I tell the story for his glory but also talked about the present and what's going on in the future for a gift of any amount. This interview can be yours. Here's what you do go to RTW that's RTW or call us at 1-888-218-9337 ask for the interview.

The past the present and the future. Now let us listen once again to what happened to the first family I took a book from someone else's shelf that he willingly gave me and I read it and I read about five or six different ways that you and I will not are all of the defense mechanism because nobody is to really understand who we are. The image must always be better than the reality in one of the ways that people do it is they blame others for what they've done fact if you're an addict you'll actually get to the point where you will not accept any responsibility for what you do, it will be automatic. It is your employer's fault.

It is your wife's fault. It's it's the kids fault.

It's the caps fault it's somebody else's fault because you have made yourself immune from blame. The very same can be said by those who have destroyed their conscience. Sociopaths take no blame and no responsibility and see the evil that is in their own heart as belonging to someone else. It is not theirs but we can already see this here God comes to Adam and said, have you eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded you not to eat.

Adam should of said Lord I did. I'm guilty that's not what he said is it well the woman. The woman Lord the woman whom you gave me watch my hands now Lord, it's this week will woman whom you gave me, she took of the tree and then what's a man supposed to do and his wife misbehaves he has to do it with her want you to know that the man blamed his wife, even though there wasn't a chance in the world that he had married the wrong one, which is a reminder that you can even marry the right one and still have problem so he says it is the woman whom you gave me so. God says oh it's the woman final go talk to the woman so he talks to the woman and what does she say is the serpent is a serpent Lord, the serpent, so the man blamed the woman. The woman blamed the serpent and the serpent didn't have a leg to stand on. And that's the story of the human race. Up until now we refuse responsibility. We are very anxious to protect ourselves, we tweak everything we are basically dishonest and what we want to do is to make sure that we look better than we are. All of us do that. But when we hide from our mates and what we hide within those walls we can neither love nor be loved by someone else. What does God say in the midst of this, the Lord already begins to give a solution.

He says in verse 15. I will put enmity speaking to the serpent, I will put enmity between you and the woman in between your offspring and her offspring, he shall bruise your head and you shall bruise his heel. This is the earliest.

The earliest promise of the gospel that there would be the seed of the woman, namely Jesus and Satan would try to destroy Jesus and he would the best that he could do is to nip Jesus Christ heel it would not be a mortal wound. It would be a very temporal wound but Jesus, in turn, the Scripture says is going to crush the head of the serpent. You've heard me describe this before, but just imagine taking a very sharp heel end and you come across a serpent and you take his head in you crying like this into the pavement. That's what Jesus is going to do to the serpent and Jesus is going to win the victory over the devil. Praise God that wonderful that you say let's wonderful, but that took thousands of years to be fulfilled. Meanwhile, what are they going to do or Adam and Eve just going to have to wait know God says I have something for you right now that is going to help you. I've something for you in anticipation of the fact that Christ is coming. You'll notice it says in verse 21 and the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin and clothing them. God says no longer do you need to wear fig leaves because fig leaves don't cover enough. What you need is close to put on so that your shame is hidden and it's covered and that's what Jesus Christ does for us.

He takes the shame that you and I experience and and he covers that shame, he takes the messy trails of our life in the B brings a snowfall to cover the trails and the ugly ruts that show the times that we have fallen into the ditch.

He cleanses it and covers it. When Jesus died on the cross.

The Scripture says that he despised shame. In other words, what he said is I'm going to shame. Shame and I love what Rodney Clapp has written that shame bind us. Jesus was bound does shame destroy our reputation. He is despised and rejected of men does shame reduce us to silence.

He has led as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before his shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth does shame expose our apparent weakness while they said of him. He saved others, but himself. He cannot save the shame lead to abandonment. He said my God, my God, why have you forsaken me does shame diminish us, he was crucified naked and exposed for gawkers to see Jesus comes and rectifies our relationship with God and he covers the shame the animals of the skins of the animals that Jesus that God used in the Old Testament clearly.

Clearly he must've killed animals to cover Adam and Eve and then those animals by their death by the blood that was shed, and by the death that they died prefigured the coming of Jesus who would cover our sin so we could be free from shame.

One day I was riding in a car with a friend of mine who had a series of adulterous relationships ruined his family tragic story because he was so gifted, so gifted, and in many ways so blessed but I remember as we were riding along, he put it on the stereo of his car. The song Calvary covers it all my sin with its guilt and shame, my guilt and despair.

Jesus took on him there. Calvary covers it all.

You say, what does this do though in our relationships. I mean, that's fine for our relationship with God to be restored. But what about my relationship with my wife like one man says if she knew who I really was, she'd leave me. I'd like to suggest that it is the forgiveness of God that enables us now that gives us the strength and the enablement to create an environment to create an environment where sharing honest sharing can take place. Rodney Clapp again says the cross creates a community of people who are no longer afraid of being defined and destroyed by shame and can admit their failures and allow their neediness. The names are Tim and Anne. The names are fictitious but the story isn't both of them raised in Christian homes married one another every indication of a happy marriage. But and became bored with the housework and was spending a lot of time watching television watching the soaps on TV. She began to think to herself, you know, there's a whole world out there that I've never experienced. And so in order to experience it and to get rid of the boredom she had an affair. Now suddenly she was faced with the tremendous difficulty of what do you do now. How do you live the lie. How do you position yourself in such a way that your mate will not find out how you going to church on Sunday and sing the songs of Zion how you pray with your children. All the while knowing that you have betrayed your husband as her conscience began to trouble her husband knew that something was wrong. Obviously, but he did know what it was. They attended a meeting where people were coming forward in prayer to pray and to commit to and to seek God together as couples and they went home and they got on their knees and before they prayed, Tim said to and and I know that there is something and I want you to know that I have forgiven you in advance.

No matter what it is that's grace there you have the cross of Jesus Christ applied to a human relationship that no matter what you share. I choose to forgive you. Even before you tell me what's there. Well, Tim began to share his problems as well and they talked all night. Six years later I wrote up their story and they said that Jesus is the best marriage counselor because in his presence. We can be honest we can be open and we can share all of the secrets can be revealed and love can finally flow and then another story. More recent. I spent an hour some time ago with a couple where the man was a bisexual and he was involved in other kinds of relationships with other men. I can't even begin to tell you the pain of trying to put a marriage like that together and you know of course that it's one thing to forgive.

It's another thing to be reconciled and yet I saw in that relationship. The love and the forgiveness of Christ and the and the genuine desire to say whatever it takes whatever it takes God's grace will help us if he can forgive the shame we can forgive one another and marriages can be restored.

I believe that the restoration of a failed marriage is as great a miracle as the raising of the dead, causing the stone deaf to be able to hear and causing the blind to be able to see because the human heart is so filled with determination and self-will, and self protection and self justification who can possibly overcome all that in our sinful hearts except God by his word and by the spirit there. Some of you couples want to go home yet to get on your knees and the presence of God and talk talk to God and talk to one another. Remember that book that was popular number of years ago. I think it was by Robert fulcrum entitled to all that I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten. He says that when they were kids. They used to play in the leaves and there were huge piles of leaves and he says there was one kid who always hid in such a way that nobody could ever find them and he said we explained to him there's something about hiding there.

Something about being found.

You're not supposed to hide in such a way that nobody will ever find you. He said now as an adult he was looking out of the window one October and noticed these huge piles of leaves and there is one kid who always hid in such a way that nobody could ever find him.

So he says since the pile of leaves was close to the window. He leaned out and shouted kid Jack found in the kid ran out of the leaves started to cry and ran all the way home. Now you and I are together one on one. Nobody else is here except God knows who the real you is and I'm asking you telling you get found get found. Let's pray father we pray for those relationships that are afraid some of them between husband-and-wife. Some of them between parents and children and the parents have to humble themselves go to their child and ask forgiveness. We think father of how shame binds us how fear binds us how self protection binds us God. We are just such deceptive centers come to us today. Lord come to the men who have been listening to the husbands to the fathers come to the wives and to the mothers. And we pray today that these walls that have been so carefully dug that they might be demolished in your blessed and holy presence. How you talk to God. If God is talk to you.

You talk to him right now.

Father were asking that the dead be raised at the blind see the diff here were asking for the change and transformation of the human heart something over which we have absolutely no control. You have just pushed us to a place of utter total dependence upon what you can do the not what we can do do in us God that which is well pleasing in your sight.

We pray in Jesus name, amen, amen.)

Pastoralists and of course God sees us behind our pile of leaves, he sees the way in which we want to hide others and even hide ourselves and yes there is healing. When we come to him and get found. I'm so glad that my parents came to saving faith in Jesus Christ.

My father was converted already. When he was in Russia.

Actually, the Ukraine, I should say my mother came to saving faith in a small church in Canada. Recently I gave my testimony, but also talked about the present the changes that I've seen in society in the last 50 years I've talked about the future. In an interview by Pastor Philip Miller entitled the past, the present and the future. I think that you will find this interview, encouraging. I gave the interview to give glory to God for all that he has accomplished in my life because of the prayers of my parents and because of the prayers of my wife's and others.

Here's what you do for a gift of any amount you can go to RTW that's RTW or call us at 1-888-218-9337. My parents experienced a great deal of suffering in their past, but they were able to put that behind them. They prayed regularly and it's a story actually that should inspire all parents ask for the interview the past, the present and the future either on CD or DVD. I think it will be a tremendous blessing in your own walk with God and for your own family time again for you to ask Pastor look certain. The question about the Bible or the Christian life. I think many listeners will identify with the concern of Kelly, who has a family problem. She writes my mother-in-law and sister-in-law are highly narcissistic. My husband and I have struggled to love them while also making them accountable so as to not condone their actions. This is been difficult in our marriage and I recognize we both need help. Forgiving them. I sympathize with them, to some degree since I was a victim of verbal abuse within my family and sometimes exhibit some of the same narcissistic characteristics.

I'm seeking a Christian perspective on this topic. I'd appreciate any information you could provide Kelly I want you to know that I found your question very very interesting. It's intriguing because it deals with human nature. First of all, narcissism. Let me simply say that narcissistic people basically receive all information and they want answers to two questions number one.

How does this make me look and how does this make me feel they are very self-centered, very self focused self absorbed everything has to do with them so narcissistic. People are very difficult to live with and I can understand that when your mother-in-law and sister-in-law are narcissistic and that they want to control your marriage, which narcissistic people want to do because remember they always have to be the center of the attention and the control is one of their means to get it. I'm glad that you and your husband have set down some boundaries and I hope that you stick to those because in-laws can destroy good marriages. Secondly, I'm interested in the fact that you yourself admit to narcissism. That's a tremendous step forward most narcissistic people are so defensive. But if you point out, there narcissism.

They've got 100 reasons why they don't have a problem, but other people do. So I hope that you make progress and that progress can be made as you begin to be less self defensive, more willing to admit that you were wrong to confess what you see in your heart and to give your husband the privilege of helping you along and by the way, he may struggle with his problems to so both of you need to help each other.

I'm optimistic that you are making progress. Kelly, thanks for letting us know your question and God bless you some wise counsel from Dr. Erwin lutes are. Thank you Dr. lutes. Or if you'd like to hear your question answered. Go to our and click on ask Pastor lutes or call us at 1888-218-9337 1-888-218-9337 you can write to us running to when 1635 N. LaSalle Boulevard Chicago, IL 60614 running to win comes to you from the Moody Church in Chicago next time. The mystique of motherhood reclaiming the role God intended for mothers to join us. Thanks for listening for Dr. Erwin lutes are this is Dave McAllister going to win is sponsored by the Moody Church

Get The Truth Mobile App and Listen to your Favorite Station Anytime