Getting Forgiveness Right Part 2

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. In a parable, Jesus gave a dire warning to those who refuse to forgive other people. Today, what it means to say that God will not forgive us if we fail to forgive others. Work through this crucial teaching with us and then purpose to be quick to forgive. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, I have a relative who took her refusal to forgive to her grave.

The damage left behind may never be repaired. Dave, to me as a pastor, that's absolutely heartbreaking. But I have to say that the experience that you have just talked about is very common. People are bitter and they take that bitterness to the grave and they leave behind the shattering of relationships. And I say today to all who are listening to this message, don't die that way and don't live that way.

Let us be quick to forgive. And you know, messages like this can be shared because of those who invest in this ministry. We don't consider you to be simply people who contribute. We see you as part of the Running to Win family. Right now, we're in the middle of a matching gift campaign. Some of our friends have said that they are willing to match whatever is given. Would you like to become a part of that so that your gift is doubled? Here's what you do.

Go to rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. And now let us let God examine our hearts on the topic of forgiveness. Are you telling me that God is going to revoke forgiveness that was once given? That's the way this parable is frequently interpreted.

That the man, you see, the servant who owed ten thousand talents who couldn't pay and now refuses to forgive his fellow servant, he is put into the prison until he should pay the debt, namely the ten thousand talents. That would mean that the king actually revoked forgiveness and said, I forgive you, but then went back on his word because the fellow servant wasn't faithful in following through with mercy. That's not what God is like. I'm glad that when God forgives us, his forgiveness is irrevocable.

The gifts and the calling of God last. When God says, I forgive you, that is forgiven. He does not insist that we pay it later, no matter what kind of people we become in terms of our anger and bitterness. Let's look at this verse again and interpret it differently, all right? Verse 34, and in anger his master delivered him to the jailer until he should pay all his debt. Well, obviously he can't pay the debt of ten million dollars.

We've already granted that. I think that the debt that is being referred to is the debt of extending forgiveness to the fellow servant. And so what's really going on here in the text is not that the king now expects him to pay the ten thousand talents, but the king says, I'm putting you into prison until the debt which needs to be paid is forgiveness to the person who owed you a hundred denarii. And having been forgiven much, you will be in prison until you stop insisting on justice and begin to insist on mercy and forgive. Also keep in mind that we're talking about here in human relationships, we're not necessarily talking about eternity and it is always a little dangerous to take a parable and then to use it in such a way that it contradicts other passages of scripture. So that's why I think this interpretation fits much better to the context. What he's saying is that if you do not forgive, you will be put into a torture chamber until you are willing to forgive. One time I was listening to WLS radio in the morning, Don Wade and Roma, apologies to Moody Bible Institute Station, and Roma read this, which she wrote.

I was so impressed with it that I contacted the station or my assistant did and I actually got it. This is what she said. Do you harbor resentment? Then you are poisoning your own meal at life's banquet table. Imagine your mind as a little shop of horrors, a kind of museum filled with relics of all the injustices and the harm you've ever endured. Each exhibit depicts your memory of what someone did or didn't do that hurt you. Brightly illuminated by your resentment, every exhibit has a soundtrack echoing with loud, angry, and accusing voices. The walls are covered with horrible instruments of punishment and the long list of penalties to be inflicted on your wrongdoers.

And coding everything is a thick, clinging residue of self-pity that keeps you from moving along to the new future wing of your museum, where exhibits are filled with pleasure and joy and new possibilities. Can you imagine what it would be like to be locked permanently inside such a chamber of horror and hate and resentment? If you are unable to forgive others, real or imagined wrongs against you, then that horror chamber exists within you. That chamber of ill will is in your own mind and soul.

And what a price you pay for maintaining such a museum of resentment. The negative reliving of your past strokes of anger, resentment, and seething hostility. It also turns your mind against itself. It is like poison to your soul. The simple, profound truth is that the entire horror shop crumbles. If you're willing to forgive, by forgiving others, you forgive yourself.

You gain a new sense of self-esteem and free your own spirit to soar to new heights. There is no time to waste. Now is the time to stop the pain of the past from poisoning the joys of your present and your future. Decide to forgive.

Some of you are in that torture chamber. You have been handed over to the torturers until you forgive the person who has wronged you the most. And you see, when we continue with resentment, when we continue to be committed to resentment, then what happens is very clear in our minds and hearts. We become a servant basically to the person who wronged us. And that's why number four is true forgiveness leads us out of our personal prison of resentment and hatred.

Let me ask you something. The person who has wronged you, controlling your life now because of resentment, you cannot sleep. And whatever you do not forgive, remember you pass on to others. Your anger is evident to your children. It's evident to those around you.

And even though you deny it, it is very clear in all of your relationships. Do you realize that that person who has hurt you has hurt you enough? And the only way to be free from that hurt is to choose to lay the bitterness down.

You must do that or you're in a torture chamber of your own horrors. There is a fifth truth that I'd like to make about true forgiveness. And that is that true forgiveness is really a choice. It is a choice.

It may not be explained explicitly here in the text, but it is there. The man who is in the torture chamber, he can choose to forgive. Here is something that I believe is so devastating to many people. Many people take the point of view, I will forgive when I feel like forgiving. And then they define feeling like forgiving as once the hurt begins to subside and the hurt begins to stop, then I am ready to forgive. Fact is the hurt never stops, especially if you keep it alive in your mind by resentment, which is really sweet poison.

You think to yourself all the different ways that you would like to use to get even with that person and these ways well up within you and you imagine them over and over and over again in your mind. And you're saying someday I'll forgive, but not now because vengeance is so strong in your soul and it poisons all of your relationships. That's why the Bible is so clear. We must choose to forgive.

Now at this point I do need to make an explanation. There are some Bible teachers whom I greatly respect who think that you should never forgive anybody unless they ask for forgiveness. And I understand that because what they are really saying is that the goal of forgiveness is always restoration and you can't be restored to somebody who doesn't admit his or her faults and evil against you.

You can't be restored to a person like that. But what I'm talking about today is a kind of forgiveness that might not lead to reconciliation, but it is a giving up of all the bitterness and laying it at the feet of Christ and saying enough already, I choose to lay it down. Some of you need to do that with people who are dead.

I remember telling you the story years ago about a woman who took a train here from Chicago to Pennsylvania to go to the grave of her mother who was a prostitute. And there at the grave just to suddenly spill it all out, all the anger, all the shame, everything, because you see people who are dead can still control us because of our anger and because of our shame. And the Bible says that we are to forgive as we've been forgiven. And the message of this parable is very clear. God really has forgiven you much and has paid a tremendous price to do it.

The gift of his son. And we are the ones who have been wronged and somebody owes us a hundred denarii, maybe a hundred dollars in comparison. And we say, oh, yeah, when it comes to God, I want mercy. Oh, God, you know that I want mercy. You know that I need grace. That has to be from all of you to forgive all of my sins.

It's all of you. But in our relationships with others, I want justice. And if I don't get justice, I'm going to hang on to this like an idol.

I will not give this up, not even for God. And there are some people who look to their past. It is their idol. It is their calling card. It is their ability to be able to readdress those wrongs. Any healing that takes place is something like a scab on a scar.

They peel off the scab just to see how things are going within the wound. And it's over and over again like Velcro to their soul. They will not let it down.

They will not give it up. And one of the reasons is because they want justice. And you know something? It is not wrong to want justice. I'm going to explain to you a way by which you can give up your bitterness and maintain your sense and desire for justice at the same time. But you're not the one who's going to be administering the justice.

That's the difference. Remember that verse of scripture in 1 Peter. I've used it in counseling so often. Forgive me if you've heard me say this before. When Jesus was reviled, he reviled not again, but committed himself onto him who judges justly well. What Jesus said is, I don't need justice in this life. I'm willing to take injustice.

Why? Because I commit my case to the Supreme Court of the universe and I believe that the Father is going to eventually bring justice to this situation. In the day of resurrection, he's going to set the record straight and I have so much faith in him that I can forgive and I can live with injustice, without bitterness, because I've got a Father who's going to take care of the justice issue for me. And that's what God says to you and to me today.

I'll take care of the justice issue. You have to be freed. Now, I do also want to emphasize that forgiveness is both an event and a process. In other words, just because you really lay it all down, it might want to eventually come all back. But you know, you don't really have to let it come back, at least with a force that you may be experiencing bitterness now, resentment, anger.

You don't need to let it come back. Oh, it will and sometimes it does and that isn't wrong, but when it does is you keep committing yourself onto him who judges righteously and tell the Father, I'm not going back there again. I'm not going to rehearse all this and take all of the wrongs that have been done to me.

I'm going to actually lay it down so that I can walk away. And when it comes back, I affirm again that it has been committed to the Father. I have chosen to forgive and I'm not going to be defined by my bitterness, by my abuse, by my hurt anymore. That's no longer who I am. And then by God's grace, you walk away.

I've said it in a different context. You take all of the bitterness, the anger, the resentment. Some of you have that between yourself and your spouse today. Family members, fathers against children, children against their fathers.

Oh, the list is endless. And Satan uses all of these offenses to let people be stuck so they can't move on to wholeness and healing because they hang on and say, unless there's justice, unless there's this or that, I will not. God did not take kindly. The king certainly did not take kindly to this servant who said, I'll get mercy from the king, but I'll make sure that I get justice from the people who own me.

God says, you wicked slave. You've been forgiven so much. Can't you forgive the wrongs that have been done against you and walk away free?

I believe that if there was the forgiveness of bitterness and restoration within our families, that we would see a spiritual movement in our church, in our city, throughout all of America. What keeps us from it are the walls of bitterness. And we say, I will sit here. And you die there.

And you never move on. So you're willing to lay it all down today, get rid of it? Here's what we're going to do. You can't do this just in a church service. If I were in a counseling room now and had 20 or 30 minutes with you, I would walk you through and just give you time to pour your heart out to God.

That's a little difficult to do here. But I want you to promise me today that you will do that. Maybe this afternoon, cut out an hour, take whatever time it needs and say, God, this hour is for you and me. And we're really going to finally forgive from the heart, as Jesus said here. No longer, yeah, I forgive him, but boy, am I ever angry.

No, no, no. You're going to forgive from the heart with God's help. And what you're going to do is to spend enough time there to deal with it that you can get up off of your knees and say, God, I sense a release. This bitterness is no longer going to be what I constantly focus on. And then ask forgiveness of the person wherever it is necessary and wherever it is feasible so that there can be not only forgiveness but in many instances reconciliation.

Can't always be as I've explained, but in many instances it can. And if you make that promise while we sing the closing song today, I'm actually going to be at the floor right here. Why don't you come and shake my hand? Shaking my hand gives you no special blessing.

There's nothing connected to it. I'll tell you why I'm doing it is I want you to make a visible promise. I will do what God showed me I must, and I am going to do it in the next day or two. You're making that promise.

Would you do that? And it'll help you to nail it down and be done with it so that you can move on. Let's pray together. Father, we come with many questions. There are those who say, well, how do I live with someone when there's a constant need of forgiveness?

Questions that we haven't entirely answered. But we've learned enough from this parable that we can't treat our fellow servants with justice and then expect mercy from you. You do give us mercy and you expect us to exercise it. Make us a forgiving people. And for those whose hurts run so deep, oh, by your Holy Spirit, do what we can't. Set people free.

May they release others so that they themselves can be released. And as your Holy Spirit has worked, give them the courage to say yes today. I'm going to follow through with with what the Lord has shown me in Jesus name.

Amen. My friend, this is Pastor Lutzer. When I gave that invitation here at the Moody Church, many, many people came forward.

Would you purpose in your heart today to be a person who forgives? I hold in my hands a letter, someone responding to our ministry saying, I want to give you a big thank you. Your teaching set me free. I turned 63 yesterday, was listening to your ministry and you talked about vengeance belonging to God.

Suddenly I had an epiphany. I feel free to let go of my resentment and forgive those who have wronged me. You showed me freedom in Jesus. It's the best gift I could ever have. What a blessing letters like that are to me.

And I know they bless you as well. Would you consider helping us here at the ministry of running to win? We're in the midst of a matching gift challenge.

Some of our friends have said that they are willing to double any gift that is given. Here's what you do. Go to RTW offer.com because after all, you know, your $20 will become 40, your 50 will become a hundred.

Go to RTW offer.com or if you prefer, call us at 1-888-218-9337. Become a part of the running to win family because we are committed to setting people free in the name of Jesus, free to forgive. Time now for another chance for you to ask Pastor Lutzer a question about the Bible or the Christian life. And time is actually our focus today.

Thanks to Brian who wrote asking this. On your program, you were talking about Satan and his fall from glory. I think that you said something about millions of years. So do you believe in an old earth or a young earth? Brian, I want you to know that you've really asked two separate questions. I think the statement that I made was that maybe Satan fell millions of years ago, but he most assuredly could have fallen before the earth and the stars were even created.

There's nothing that really gives us an accurate timeline. But recently, I was listening to a Bible teacher who was saying that Satan fell after creation because everything that God created was good. And he fell when he saw that Adam was given the responsibility of taking dominion over the earth. And Satan, because of jealousy, because of his own desire for control, here he is. He's this beautiful angel. He sins and becomes Satan.

He becomes the devil. And so according to this Bible teacher, it happened actually after the creation of Adam and Eve, and they were being put there into the garden. And you know, the more I began to think of it, this teacher might be right. The bottom line is this. I don't know exactly when Satan fell. I do believe in a young earth.

It seems to me that when you read the book of Genesis, the intention of the author is to say that creation took place in seven days, 24 hours. If you ask me about all of the scientific evidence, that is a huge, huge question. And I encourage you to continue to study.

All kinds of books have been written about that. And I do appreciate your answer. Hope that this helps you on your journey. Thank you, Brian. Thank you, Dr. Lutzer. If you'd like to hear your question answered, go to our website at rtwoffer.com and click on Ask Pastor Lutzer, or call us at 1-888-218-9337.

That's 1-888-218-9337. You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois, 60614. How should parents react when a child goes his or her own way, knowing the sorrow that child will face? In the parable of the prodigal son, we can learn some major spiritual truth and at the same time learn how to be better parents. Next time on Running to Win, we'll turn to Luke, chapter 15, for a lesson on getting parenting right. Thanks for listening. For Dr. Erwin Lutzer, this is Dave McAllister. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.