Just Lay It Down Part 1

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.

It's like a cancer that spreads everywhere in the body. Bitterness can destroy your joy and make you quite unpleasant to be around. Today, we uncover the roots of bitterness and tell how to uproot it from your life for good. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, a lot of families have been destroyed by bitterness, so we all need to hear today's message you're calling, Just Lay It Down.

You know, Dave, as this message is being preached, I can't help but think that there are many people who ought to get on the phone, call their friends, ask them to listen, because I suppose that one of the greatest things, as you've already mentioned, that tears families apart is bitterness, refusing to lay it down. Meanwhile, I want to thank the many of our friends who pray for us regularly. We're dependent upon you. We're also dependent upon those who continue to support this ministry, and I want to put an idea in your mind, and at the end of this broadcast, I'll also give you the contact information once again.

Would you consider becoming an endurance partner? Those are people who stand with us regularly with their prayers and their gifts. Here is what you do.

Go to rtwoffer.com, click on the endurance partner button, or call us at 1-888-218-9337. And thanks in advance for helping us. Together, we are making a difference, but for now, let us open God's Word and deal honestly with the sin that besets many people and many families. So I begin today with a question, how's your conscience doing? This happens to be number eight in a series of messages entitled, The Power of a Clear Conscience. And there are ways that you can test your conscience.

Our key verse is found in 1 Timothy chapter 1 verse 5, where it says, the aim of our instruction is love that flows from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. So let me ask you, how's your love quotient? On a scale of one to 10, how are you loving? And did you love this week? Where are you on that scale? Another way we can test our conscience is to ask the joy meter, how is it doing? On a scale of one to 10, how is your joy today?

And how has it been this past week? The power of a clear conscience. We can think of a conscience as the window to the soul.

And you and I know that when a window gets smudgy, when it gets dirt thrown onto it, light is hampered. And in the very same way, when there's smudge on our conscience. When we have a defiled conscience, the light does not get through very well. There are many reasons why people live with a very restless heart, a restless conscience.

One reason may be because of anxiety, and there are plenty of things to be anxious about. Another is because of guilt. And as you know, many messages in this series of messages dealt specifically with guilt as it relates to our relationship with God. But there's another reason, and that reason is bitterness. And I don't believe that it's possible to have a clear conscience that is free of offense unless we deal with the bitterness that may be lurking within our hearts.

And that's what we're going to do today. You know, the Bible says in the book of Hebrews, and I won't turn to the passage, but it says in Hebrews chapter 12, beware lest there be in you a root of bitterness that springs up and many people be defiled. Two very important things about bitterness.

First of all, it has roots, very deep roots. Some of you today are struggling with bitterness because you are brought up in an abusive home. You had parents who shouted at you, perhaps abused you.

Yes, you know, there was alcoholism, there was disarray. And so within your heart, there is a great deal of resentment and a great deal of bitterness with very deep roots. You know, the farm, one of the things we learned is that if we want to pluck up a weed, we can't just cut it off.

We have to get to the roots. And today, by God's help, I want to show you even, I believe, how you can deal with a very root of bitterness. So that's one thing we learned. The other thing is that it spreads, that you have a rooted bitterness and thereby many people be defiled. May I remind you of a very basic truth, and that is that whatever you don't forgive and lay down, you will pass on. That's why children brought up in these kinds of homes where there has been abuse of one kind or another, they spread it to the next generation and the next generation to the next generation. Whatever you don't lay down and forgive, you're always passing on, even if you don't think you are. That's why the title of this message is, Lay It Down.

And I'm going to give you instructions as to how to do that. Now I listed, as I was thinking about the various kinds of situations that need forgiveness, four came to mind. There are many more, but let me simply give you these four.

The first thing that I thought of was indeed to be brought up by abusive parents. And you'll notice that in my notes I talk about four different kings. Hezekiah was a good king. He has a son whose name is Manasseh. Manasseh does more evil than all the other kings before him. And then Manasseh has a son named Amnon, who's also evil, follows in the train of his father, and then suddenly, boom, there is Josiah, whose father was Amnon. What do we learn from that story of the Old Testament? Well, very briefly, one thing that we learn is that good parents sometimes have evil sons. Good parents sometimes have evil sons. But the lesson I want you to take home from it is, here you have a good son with very evil parents. Do you know what Manasseh did? Manasseh sacrificed one of his sons to the pagan god Moloch. Now, how would you like to have a grandfather who sacrificed one of his sons to the pagan god? You have a father who does essentially the same thing, follows in his father's footsteps, and now you're the son.

And yet Josiah followed the Lord. From my heart to yours today. You do not need to be defined by who your parents were. You can break the cycle.

And we'll give you help on how that can be done. So first of all, we have to forgive parents at times. Secondly, we have to forgive siblings. I think of the story of Jacob and Esau, but we're going to skip that story except to say that here are twins, and Jacob tells lies. He tells lies to the father whom he thinks is dying. He steals from his brother and there had to be forgiveness.

We must hurry on. And that is to talk about unfaithful relationships in marriage. In the Old Testament, there's the book of Hosea, and Hosea is asked to marry a woman who turns out to be a prostitute. And then she, after she's married, she goes from lover to lover, and eventually she ends up as a slave, and she's auctioned off to the highest bidder, and Hosea attends the auction. And he outbids everybody. The Bible says that he bought her back for 15 shekels of silver and a bushel and a half of barley.

Now imagine that. And we're not saying in a moment that you and I need to follow Hosea. That was a very special assignment God had for him, except to take hope in this sense that it is possible even for marriages to survive unfaithfulness. Now you say, well, how do we reconcile? I'm so glad that you're thinking of these things because the next message in this series is probably going to be the most important as I outline the whole business of reconciliation. When do you need to reconcile? What do you need to confess when? We're going to try to work our way through that interesting scenario. But here's the point.

Even unfaithfulness can be forgiven, and couples can move on. But number four, I think, is the most important in my illustrations, and that is anger toward God. Second Samuel chapter six, we won't turn to it, but they are bringing the ark back to Jerusalem. They put it on a cart.

The cart is going along. The oxen are pulling it. They stumble, and a man by the name of Uzzah steadies the ark of God, and God strikes him down. The Bible says David was angry. He was angry. He said he was not only afraid of the Lord, but he was angry.

He was so angry. He said, God, I'm paraphrasing, of course, as to what I think he was thinking, God, if that's the way you're going to do things, I'm done. I'm not bringing the ark to Jerusalem. So they took the ark somewhere else.

I mean, you know, if that's the way you're going to deal and overreact, I'm sure that they all thought it was an overreaction. It really wasn't because they weren't carrying the ark the way in which God had prescribed. David said, I'm done.

I'm not bringing it to Jerusalem. Now, eventually David got over it because, very interestingly, a couple of months later, he does bring the ark back, and he brings it back in the proper way that God asked it to be carried. But frequently in the Psalms, you have David angry with God, and he needs to forgive God. Now I know that when we talk about that, we have to put forgiveness in quotes because strictly speaking, God doesn't need forgiveness. But I am absolutely certain that throughout this large crowd and the larger crowd that is watching or listening, that there are many, many people who need to lay down their bitterness and their anger toward God. In fact, I would say that virtually all other anger ultimately is traceable to anger against God. Anger because of his lack of care. Right here at the front here at the Moody Church, I remember distinctly a woman coming up to me, and she was angry, and she was crying, and she's saying, you want me to believe and to trust God, and God is my Heavenly Father.

I was abused when I was a child. What kind of a father would watch that going on and do nothing about it? And God could have done something. He didn't do a thing. How can I believe in God? Anger because of lack of care. Anger also because of refusal to answer prayer. Here you have a young pastor, and I'm talking about a situation that happened long ago, dying of cancer. His whole church prays, oh God, please heal him. God doesn't heal him. One woman said, I'm never going to bother God about another request again. Why should I? If he didn't heal that young man after all that prayer, I mean, I don't want to be hurt again. I'm out of here. Have a good day, God.

I'm going a different direction. Then you have issues such as physical and mental limitations, perhaps a physical genetic problem. It could be blindness. It could be the inability to be able to walk.

It could be some very debilitating disease. And you say, well, why can't I be like everybody else? I mean, why did God give me this card?

This is the card that I have been dealt. And at the root of it all is anger toward God. And we say to ourselves, I'm not following him.

Look at what he did or look at what he didn't do. Now, this could be a separate message, but I have a word for you today. If that's where you're at, if that's why you may be backslidden, you may not be in fellowship with the Lord today because you feel that God has dealt you unfairly. May I simply remind you that your ability to believe and to trust God in the midst of these circumstances brings about great faith and great honor. But also, let me give you a word that could be transforming. Elizabeth Eliot said this, acceptance brings peace.

Would you lay it down? We don't understand God's ways. I like the King James translation of the 23rd chapter, 33rd actually, of the book of Job, where Elihu says, why dost thou strive against the Almighty? He giveth not account of his matters. God's not telling us all of his hidden purposes. But don't strive against God, no matter your dilemma and what will happen when you accept that and bow to the sovereignty of the Almighty, God will begin to pour grace into your soul. Just like he did David's in some of the Psalms where David would almost lash out at God.

Where are you? You've deceived us, said the prophet Jeremiah. You said one thing and you did another. And yet what did God do in the midst of all of these kinds of attitudes toward him? When they accepted it and bowed, he poured grace into their souls. And he will do that for you too, if you're angry with God. So we've mentioned abusive parents. We have mentioned also siblings, marital relationship, and anger toward God. And now all of you who have a Bible or a cell phone or an iPad, I want you to take your Bibles.

And we're going to deal with some issues here today. So let's get right into the text. Ephesians chapter 4. Ephesians chapter 4, where the Apostle Paul deals with this.

And then we'll give you some specific instructions. Ephesians 4. Verse 25 says, put away all falsehood. Speak the truth with your neighbor. When angry, do not sin.

Don't let the sun go down upon your anger. And don't give the devil an opportunity, tapas. Don't give him a foot in the door. That's the idea because you give him a foot in the door and he'll take over the whole room.

And now he becomes very, very specific. Verse 29, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such is good for building up, as may fit the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear. And don't grieve the Holy Spirit of God. If you're here today with resentment, anger, and bitterness, you're grieving the blessed Holy Spirit. And that tells me that your conscience is not entirely clear. No Christian can grieve the Spirit and have a clear conscience.

And that's what we're after. And then it says this, let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. He's saying, lay it down. Let's look at these words. Bitterness, same word that is used in the book of Hebrews, the root of bitterness. Then wrath, that word refers to outbursts of the anger. It's like a pit bull.

I just tell people what I think. And so you fly off the handle and you discipline a child and you beat the child. And then maybe later on you say, well, I'm sorry, let's move on.

But something is lost. It's the pit bull kind of anger. The next word that he uses actually is the word wrath, I should have said. Wrath refers to the pit bull kind of anger. Anger, which is mentioned here in the text, is more passive.

It's more like a cobra. It's the anger of the soul, but it's well under control. But everybody knows that you're essentially angry. And you may pride yourself in, well, I never said anything bad.

I just kept my mouth shut. But you are seething, and anyone around you is picking up all of these vibes. And in little ways, that anger leaks out in your relationship with your children, with your mate, with your family, whatever. And many people, thereby, are defiled. I could give some illustrations, but we must move on. Clamor is public outburst.

Slander is to defame someone. And then the malice. Boy, Paul just lays one term on another on another on another. It's as if the Apostle Paul is saying, I'm making sure that nobody is going to have any wiggle room on this. And then he says, put it away, put it away. And I'm saying another way to say put it away is lay it down. Lay it down. Now let me begin, before I give you some specific instruction, by saying the reason that we come to a message like this with all of our preconceived notions and all of our rationalizations is this.

We say, well, I can't lay it down. I can't minimize what that person did to me. Let me remind you that when you lay it down, you're not minimizing what that person did.

And that person may be miles away from you and yet controlling your life and destroying you. And that's why the Bible says you don't have to do the vengeance. God will take care of that. That's what Jesus said when he was betrayed and when he was mistreated, who when he was reviled did not revile in return, but committed himself unto him who judges righteously. Jesus said, all of these attacks I'm giving over to my father because I'm going to trust him to deal with it.

And he still hasn't dealt with it. Those issues will finally be dealt with in the day of resurrection and judgment. And Jesus said, I'm fine with that. Blessed are you, my dear sister and my brother and my teenager. Blessed are you if you're fine with that too.

You are not minimizing the evil that was done. Now there are some counselors and I've heard them say, well, you don't have to forgive until you feel like it. Well, to quote the words that is not very theological, good luck, good luck.

You're never going to feel like it. Now we're going to give you some specific instruction. And this is a message you know that you need to take home. One of the disappointments for those of us who preach is the realization that there are many people who listen, who say, well, wasn't that interesting? And they may leave and they may think about it again during the week, maybe once, twice.

They may come back to them. But basically, the message is left at church. This is not a message that you can leave here at the church and profit from it. This is the kind of message where when you go home, you find a quiet place. And if you say there is no such thing where I go, then pray that God will give you one. And where you are at least an hour or two with God, and you say this is our time together, oh God. And what we're going to do is to deal with the root issues and pluck up from the roots with God's help.

The root of bitterness which springs up and thereby many people are defiled. My friend, this is Pastor Lutzer. So I have to ask you the question, what is your response to this message? Has God talked to you?

Do you understand the importance of what it means for us to deal with our own personal issues, not only because of the family, but because of our own well-being? I trust that God will use this message to that end. Let me share something with you that is very exciting.

Thanks to the many people who support this media ministry, running to win is actually in three different languages, English of course, but also Spanish throughout Central and South America, but also in Arabic throughout the Middle East. Now can anything be more exciting than this? We received a report from someone in the Middle East who said, how wonderful to know that God wanted to save me from my sins and the punishment that I deserve. How wonderful that someone can know that he is loved no matter what.

I want to be called a Christian and live as one. My friend, that makes everything worth it, every investment, every effort. And you can become a part of stories just like that by becoming a running to win partner, by becoming an endurance partner.

These are people who stand with us regularly with their prayers and their gifts. And here's what you do to get more info. Go to rtwoffer.com. That's rtwoffer.com. When you're there, by the way, click on the endurance partner button and it'll explain what we're talking about. Or if you prefer, you can call us at 1-888-218-9337. Remember every testimony that we receive is a testimony to your investment in this ministry. Go to rtwoffer.com, click on the endurance partner button, or call us at 1-888-218-9337.

You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 60614. Running to Win is all about helping you find God's roadmap for your race of life. To let go of bitterness means forgiving those who have wronged you. Next time, the practical side of forgiving people when in our own hearts we just can't do it. Thanks for listening. This is Dave McAllister. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.