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The Goal Is Holiness, Not Happiness Part 2

Running to Win / Erwin Lutzer
The Truth Network Radio
November 16, 2020 1:00 am

The Goal Is Holiness, Not Happiness Part 2

Running to Win / Erwin Lutzer

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November 16, 2020 1:00 am

Those who think marriage is a magic door to happiness should note that many marriages fail today. God intended marriage to develop character, and a hard heart can break the bonds between a couple if one will not repent.

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Jesus phone number for those who think marriage is symmetrical to happiness. Half of all marriages fail. Today God intended marriage to develop character and hardhearted can break the bonds between the couple one will not Moody Church in Chicago this morning to win with Dr. Irwin's teaching sauce make it across the finish line. What are some of the rewards we can miss.

If we fail to have repentance, arts will debut noise we've emphasized in this series of messages.

It is so important to see marriage God's light and not ours is a means that he uses to perfect our own spirituality, that is to say, to teach us lessons regarding patients, acceptance, and a whole host of other lessons and unless we are repentance will miss those and we will see all the faults of our partner and we will fail to see our own and that is a recipe for disaster. What I'm holding in my hands.

This CD titled in all of his glory. It's a Christmas concert that was recorded here at the Moody church choir and Symphony Orchestra. A great opportunity to remind ourselves that Christmas music is very powerful. It touches all of our hearts. Now you might say will Pastor Luther why are you talking about Christmas music when we haven't even celebrated Thanksgiving yet all the answers. This if you order this CD. Now of course it will be there in plenty of time for Christmas.

It includes many of your favorites such as in all of his glory all is well.

I'll give him my heart and others. Here's what you do for a gift of any amount you go to RTW that's RTW or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Now let us go to the pulpit of Moody church is again we learn about marriage. The commitment that lasts till death do us part. Prayer is see oftentimes is like an air raid shelter.

It's intention is to justify our rebellion. Well, I'm praying about what stop praying about it, and repent about it.

To do that knows what God might do so, you say, what does the husband ever submit to the wife. Sure, there are times it says in verse 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. We often submit to our wives because husbands if you think you're off the hook. I have to warn you about what is coming all right, but first of all, we missed the lesson of submission. We miss that if all we think to ourselves is the way to bail out of this relationship that's going to a second reward that we miss the lesson of selflessness, selflessness, now you like this verse 25 husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word while husbands love your wives, as Jesus Christ loved the church, had you ever given your self up for her. The Bible says love her as Christ did and gave himself up for her. This is a kind of love that doesn't depend upon how she looks.

Whether or not she is the same woman as you married Howard Hendricks likes to tell the story of a guy who said how a user just you haven't heard anything until you heard about my wife and Rick that all right tell me and he begins to write one note at after another all the things and then Hendricks says why in the world would you be so stupid as to marry a woman like that he said will when I married her. She wasn't like that old will I see you made her that way later. That way, notice how selfless the love of Jesus Christ is despite her fickleness.

Despite our selfishness despite her disloyalty.

When we make Jesus look bad.

He still loves us. Husbands, love your wives, as Jesus Christ loved the church camp on that verse for and see what it will do for you, selflessness. I came across a quotation about what dying to self really is and that it's from an unknown source, but here it is. When you are forgotten or neglected or purposefully set not to, and you sting and hurt with the insult or oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ that's dying to self. When your good is evil spoken up when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence that is dying to self.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, or any annoyance, when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagant spiritual insensitivity and endure it as Jesus endured it. That is dying to self. When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any attitude, any interruption by the will of God that is dying to self. When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown.

That is dying to self. When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy or question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances that is dying to self. When you can receive correction and reproof from someone of less stature than yourself and you can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart that is dying to self. While I need to tell you, in humble confession today that it has taken me, not months, but years to see my own selfishness in my relationship with Rebecca. We as men just don't get it until God clutters us with a 2 x 4 and even when he does that we make other excuses for the pain. God says serve your wife. Don't be your boss for a while serve her and you'll notice that the Scripture says, as Christ loved the church. Don't give me this, that she isn't the woman you married or this shouldn't have happened in the first place.

The question is now how do you keep your covenant and how do you let God sanctify you and purify you and bring to the surface.

All of that hostility and all of that self will, in all of that selfishness through the intimacy of marriage. That's the issue number three purity purifying love you'll notice about what is it that Jesus is up to Willie sanctifying the church see men in case you missed it, you and I are to be Jesus to our wives. I remember counseling a young woman who was going to get married and she didn't know whether or not she should marry this guy and I said what are you getting married to Jesus lead ended that for her but that's the analogy she's to be the church. You're to be Jesus. I mean, after a while, there should be some family resemblance right now notice what Jean what is Jesus up to. He's washing the church, sanctifying, or having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself and ultimately to the father, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. And that's what husbands are to do with their wives are supposed to be interested in their wives walk with God and their wives purity and holiness. And that's why the Bible says that we are to leave the home. It doesn't mean that you have to be a Bible teacher or teach a Sunday school class or know the Bible well but do encourage your wife by praying for heard you ever prayed together. Is there in your mind and attitude here up service and help illness and encouragement as her leader. That's the question that needs an answer.

And so what the Bible says here is that we have the responsibility negatively to keep our wives from evil. This is why there are some women who are working in environments where Christian woman should never work because it is an environment of temptation and it exposes her to evil you say well you know I'm single you're speaking and you're saying how do I know young ladies listen you're saying. How do I know that the man I'm going to marry is going to be interested in my purity and my sanctification so that when I die, I presented and made honorable to Jesus Christ. Here's a good criterion.

How is he treating you during your dating experience is he encouraging you sexually. Does the one to convince you to go to bed with them before you get married. If he does, I suggest you take that fish and throw them back into the lake. All right, I think more of you should've clamped on that manner out to say I love you, what they really mean is I love myself and I want you selfish egotistical self absorbed, evaluating only your body not your mind not your heart, not your character, and they are unworthy of you young ladies.

They are unworthy of you. Jesus doesn't want an unholy wife and because of that he sanctifies the church and purifies it in. That's what he's doing in our hearts and that's what our marriages should do the whole point of marriage is to purify us. And as I've mentioned, there's nothing that brings our sins to the surface is clearly is the intimacy of marriage. Number four there is intimacy. This is such a rich passage once again I say to myself, should've been a longer series. But I'll pick this up at some church time. Notice what the text is saying here it says in the same way. Verse 28.

Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. Oh what you done for yourself recently. All you said.

I spent a lot of time making myself happy. Okay, spend an equal amount of time making your wife happy and in the process, you will be happy because she's one body with you. You know if you have a broken arm and you are trying to get help for the arm that becomes important to you why because it's a member of your body and when one part of the body or whole part hurt when you have a disgruntled unhappy wife.

You hurt because she's part of your body.

So whatever it is that you do to yourself and most of us are very self absorbed. At this point, you do for your wife, because in the process. You are blessed you want to be blessed. You bless your wife and you'll be blessed. That's what the text says in the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Jesus Christ does the church because we are members of his body and then it says a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.

That's a separate sermon to and the two shall become one flesh.

This mystery is profound and isn't it profound wow so what he really means is that every time you pursue happiness for yourself. If you put that amount of energy into the pursuit of happiness on the part of your spouse.

It comes back to you. Now I told you that the purpose of marriage. The ultimate purpose of marriage was actually sanctification and holiness, not happiness. But here's what I want to say no when we get to this point when our spouses are fulfilled. We get fulfilled and our happiness is found in their happiness, summarize it. Happy wife, happy life. That's where your happiness is found in I need to say again that in our marriage. Rebecca often has found her happiness in my happiness to my shame.

I'm only learning to find my happiness in her happiness, and that's really were happiness really comes from is the mutual fund element of one another when you no longer see your own needs as being superior and it is so easy to justify in my case, you know I'm doing ministry it so easy to justify it, and you really get down to what is important and what is God going to hold us accountable for and suddenly we realize that the answer lies right here.

You win the battle in your marriage. You can almost win the battle anywhere else now. No wonder pulses this mystery is great now to concluding comments here about us who are married and all of our struggles and those of you who are going to rebuild a broken relationship. And I believe that that's happening even a response from last time sermon leads me to believe that many of you are grappling with building a new relationship and by the way don't feel hesitant at all to go for counseling note. The problem is most people who go for counseling go when everything is in shambles and it's too late.

Go early and get some perspective and go willing to learn.

Not saying will what is he going to tell me what probably something you should know it's a matter fact couple of comments number one. Your response to disappointment in your marriage is just as important as the issue itself. Your response to disappointment and marriage is just as important as the issue is its self. As I was thinking about this yesterday as to how I could say it with a clarity that no one would miss. This is what came to me when your roommate sins against you don't responded by sinning against him or against her.

You been send against gives you no permission to sin, it may well be that his sin is an entirely different Senate may be a sin of the flesh. Now, suddenly, your sin can be a respectable sin. It can be the sin of anger of the silent treatment can be the sin of the punishing through what can be called often times as a passive aggressive nature that can be your sin. Let me give you a scenario, the husband on Sunday morning wants to get to church on time and he is good reason to because he's a Sunday school teacher and he's on his way and he goes out in the car and is waiting for his wife and spring. Oh, God give me patience, but eventually he can't help it. He presses the horn she hears it. Her responses so that's what he's doing to me.

I'll just let the old goat stay out there for a little while longer. As I take my wonderful time and so he presses the horn again. She gets into the car is dead silent on the way to church. Finally he says, couldn't you be ready in time.

Honey what are you the one that got the kids up, did you make breakfast. Let me ask you that I had so many things to do, I didn't see you doing all these things did I and then he parks his car and her parting shot before he goes to teach a Sunday school classes. What is your class on today filling of the Holy Spirit.

She socked him right where she knew she wanted to socked him. She got it all out of her system without raising her voice without so much as shouting, but it was exactly what she wanted if he send against her by telling her to hurry doubt whether or not he did, but and by the way those of you who come to church late. That's a whole lot you. I've often prayed for you. I've often asked God to forgive your sins, and to make you come on time at the judgment seat. You know, maybe we could say whether he send against her because of impatience, but there's no doubt she send against him. That's the way some marriages are when your mate sins against you. Don't you dare now is sin against their ways to handle conflict, and one way is not for you now to sin. Second, your relationship with Jesus Christ stands at the heart of your marriage, your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Look at the text wives, submit yourself to your husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife. Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church.

The whole bottom line here was this when God wanted to demonstrate the relationship of Jesus to the church. The whole purpose was he invented marriage. Many of us think that when the apostle Paul was looking for a good analogy between Jesus and the church. He said you know what I think marriage would really work be a good illustration is not the way it was right from the beginning Genesis chapter 2.

The intention was that God wanted our marriages to be pointers to the Trinity, the submission of the son to the father, the order that is in the Trinity and the love that the father then would have toward the redeemed in the sun and submission redeeming all of that and are marriages are supposed to demonstrate to the Christian world the truth of the gospel and lying at the heart of it is Jesus Christ in your relationship to him.

If you've never trusted Christ as Savior. All of this would make little sense to you and say where is this coming from well it's coming from the Christian context of those who have trusted Christ as Savior.

They have been redeemed and because they are redeemed they like Jesus who redeemed them are a covenant keeping people and as a result, they experience the fulfillment God promised you've never trusted Christ as Savior. This is your opportunity to do it, even as I speak to you the Holy Spirit can be speaking to you showing you your need and showing that Jesus can be your savior. Receive him.

And if you know him go home have a long talk with your spouse talk about things you've never talked about before, except one another in the grace of God will be there to help you. Father, we do ask in the name of Jesus that much gray shall be poured into the lives of those who listen to this message. We pray today father for those marriages that are in trouble and we ask, oh God, oh God, please be merciful, bring fulfillment bring happiness show us our sin teach us the meaning of repentance and we ask Lord God that through your grace our marriages might be pointers to the Trinity and to the love of the son toward us.

We need you, though Jesus name amen my dear friend, this is Pastor Luther and I can't help but think that these messages would be so beneficial to those who are in need also to those who perhaps are contemplating marriage helping us to understand where the fault lines are how important it is to be committed and what that means for a gift of any amount. These messages can be yours.

The title of the series is till death do us part incredibly important in this world when you have so many marriages that are in difficulty. Here's what you do go to RTW that's RTW or call us at 1-888-218-9337. I need to emphasize that in the world in which things have gone wrong when people marry for all the wrong reasons, and they wonder how they can manage as they continue their lives together. This series of messages will be of tremendous benefit for a gift of any amount. Go to RTW RTW or call us at 1-888-218-9337 and let me say that I'm so appreciative of all those who support this ministry with your prayers and with your gifts till death do us part 1-888-218-9337 you can write to us at running to win 1635 N. LaSalle Boulevard Chicago, IL 60614 family is certainly an endangered species, fractured stress, broken dysfunctional. All these words describe a crisis in society's most basic unit of crisis that begins when marriages fail. Next time I'm running to win. When Blitzer continues this series on till death do us part. Join us as he describes an all-too-familiar scenario a couple who live miles apart in the same house, this is Dave McAllister running to win is sponsored by the teacher

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