S5 Ep13 Part 1 Men's Issues with Guest Gen Boykin and Nikita Koloff

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So come out and recharge your spirit before starting your weekend. Welcome to Man Talk, a ministry sponsored by TAWCMM, talking and walking Christian men's ministry, where we're devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination, and to point men to their God-assigned roles. Now here's your hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr. Thank you for joining us again for Man Talk Radio. I'm Will Jones. And I'm Will Hardy. We've got two very special guests with us today. We've got Nikita Koloff, former NWA professional wrestler and world champion, and we've also got retired Lieutenant General W.G.

Boykin joining us. So welcome, gentlemen. Thank you. Glad to be with you. Yes, sir. Good to be with all of you, including the General. What a privilege.

What an honor. Hey, Nik, how you doing? Good, sir. Good meeting you a couple of weeks ago. I was going to say, seems like you guys are running into each other every couple of weeks these days, aren't you, General? Well, General, thank you for joining us. Nick, it's good to have you with us this evening. So we want to talk about man issues tonight. And we've got a men's summit coming up here in January, January 24th and 25th and on a Friday night Saturday. And we're excited about having these two men with us. And we want to just kind of open up. And, Will, why don't you say hello to everybody and we'll get started. Well, we'd just like to again thank God for all of the listeners out there. And we just want to thank God for General Boykin for joining us again.

And Nikita, I want to start with the with General Boykin. General, if you could tell us how did you come to know Christ? What was that moment in your life that that brought you to the feet of the cross?

Yeah, well, mine's probably a little different than a lot of people. I grew up in the church in a very fundamentalist church. And I really rejected Christ my entire life.

I went all through college, playing football up at Virginia Tech and just deciding that I was going to have it my way and I was going to enjoy what I was doing. But then I took a commission in the Army. And when I came to Fort Benning, Georgia to go through my initial training at Fort Benning, I just felt God saying to me, I have a purpose for your life, but it'll never be fulfilled unless you submit yourself to me. And right by myself, I knelt down and I knew what I had to do and I knelt down and asked the Lord to become the Lord of my life. But I will tell you that it was a tormenting moment because the enemy came and told me that I had blasphemed. Ten years earlier when that traveling evangelist looked out in that crowd and said, if you don't come to this altar tonight, you may never have another chance. You didn't go and you felt me calling you there and you didn't go. That was your last chance.

And I gotta tell you, I was miserable for two weeks until I got to my mother who does not have a high school education, but she knows the word of God. And I said, Mom, I'm doomed to hell. She said, why son?

Why do you say that? I said, because I'm blasphemed. I didn't answer the altar call 10 years ago. And my mama looked at me and said, that is the oldest trick in the book. Son, have you confessed your sins? Yes, mama. Have you asked him to be the Lord of your...

Yes, mama. She said, then you're saved. Now get over it and believe the word of God. Amen. Amen. Wow.

That's fantastic. That is absolutely fantastic because we know we have a lot of individuals out there, I think who, uh, when they share the gospel message, you know, there's always that ulterior motive. Yeah. So, but, but God really led you down that path and, you know, brought you on that straight and narrow. And we're thankful that you are where you are because you're doing great work for the Lord. And we just thank God for you. Yes.

Well, thank you very much. So general, we'd like to also ask you, and I think a lot of the men are listening out here, this they're afraid to make a commitment. You know, they they're standing on the sidelines, as you know, and that's our mission is trying to get men off the sidelines.

Those are in the church, but also those that are, that aren't even in the body of Christ. You and Nick are what we call men's men. I mean, you, you are God's man, but you're also a man's kind of man. You know, you don't, you don't, uh, sugar coat things. You speak truth, you speak it out of love.

What would you say to those men sitting out there on the sideline tonight? Uh, just saying, I, I just not ready to make a commitment and we know we're not guaranteed tomorrow, but what does it mean to be a man's kind of man walking with God? Yeah, you know, it takes a heck of a lot more courage. And I mean that in the strongest sense of the word courage to commit your life to Christ and to, and, and to be open about it. I don't mean be in people's face, but I mean living your faith, openly living your faith takes a whole lot more courage than anything that I know of.

And I've been with some of the most courageous men on this planet in the Delta force and the Rangers and the special forces. And, uh, and I think Nick would tell you the same thing, you know, that, uh, it takes a lot more courage. So what are you waiting for? I mean, you know, find your, find your, your courage and make that commitment and then follow through on it.

Live it because there is no disadvantage to that, but there's every advantage of knowing that you have a savior that will never leave you nor forsake you in every situation. And you've always got a place to turn, no matter how perplexing your, your current circumstances happen to be. You've got hope, right?

General. That's exactly right. Nick, um, in your life, you know, I know you've run across all sorts of people as well. Um, do you find that one thing that we found through a lot of our discovery of conversations and our reading and studies is that men are typically lonely and they're, they're missing something in their life. And typically it's a, it's a close friendship, but only one, one person, Jesus can fill that friendship and that, that, that void that's in men's lives. But too often we're out there chasing everything.

But so in your walk, as you had shared before in the previous program with us, you know, you were looking for fulfillment, but once you got to the pinnacle, you were still feeling extremely, uh, void. What would you say to those men out there that like general boy comes to share and what are you waiting for? But what would you say to those men that are, that are just, just, uh, on the cusp of making that decision? Why, why should a man that's listening tonight come off the fence?

Well, I think, I think the general hit the nail on the head in, in, when he asked the question, what are you waiting for? I mean, cause really what, what are you waiting for? I mean, waiting for the, you know, the, the sun to come up next year or, you know, waiting to, uh, land the next new job or, or the, the one thing I have found and even in listening to, uh, to, uh, the general's story and his testimony testing to me, whether you're, whether you're a Lieutenant General in the military fighting on the battlefield, or as I have done as an athlete, you know, fighting in a professional wrestling ring, um, no matter what you accomplish in life, as we have discussed and talk, there's still going to be that, that, that void, that empty feeling, that feeling of loneliness you're talking about for me, um, I find it interesting the number of men and being involved in men's ministry the many years I have, uh, who, who will voice that will say, I'm just, I just feel so lonely.

And so they chase all these other things, right? Trying, trying to fill it. But we, we, we all know all of us on, on this program tonight know that there's only one thing, as you mentioned, a personal relationship with Jesus that'll fill that void.

That'll fill that emptiness and bring in, in whatever sense or feeling of loneliness will, will, will address that, that feeling of loneliness for those who are sitting on the sidelines, sitting on the fence. Um, it's a great question. What, what are you waiting for?

It's something to really, to ask yourself, what, what am I waiting for? And, and, and if you can't come up with a decisive answer, then perhaps tonight's the night to just find the courage as the general said, break down, um, surrender your life to Jesus and, and open up your heart and move forward in life's journey with him by your side. Good.

Good. So Nick, one question, what, what do you think the biggest challenge that men face today is in their lives? The biggest challenge I think, you know, it's, again, we try to find, I think as men, we try to find, uh, satisfaction, if you will, and, and the pursuit of, uh, of success, which comes in different, many different forms, you know, for different men, for some it's in the workplace, in the marketplace, you know, climbing the ladder of success in the corporate world for others, you know, athletes trying to go from one level, uh, athleticism to, to another elite level or so there's different things that people chase in order to, uh, you know, in pursuit of all that. Um, but here again, I mean, once you, you said the word pinnacle Nikita, you reached a pinnacle and yeah, I did.

And then I realized I was, I was still lost and still in the Valley, still empty and, and something was still missing. And that's just, that's, I found that's just the key. When you say the biggest, I don't know that there's any one, one, you can pinpoint one of the biggest struggle struggles. Um, but I will throw this word out there for discussion, the word pride, the word pride that, that we as men have a tendency to be very prideful, especially if we're have any sense of a accomplishment, uh, whatsoever. I mean, be easy to look at the general and go, Hey, you reached the rank of Lieutenant general. Wow.

You know, wow. It'd be easy for him if he's not mindful to get puffed up in pride. And the fact that, you know, I reached the world champion status in professional wrestling, be easy to get puffed up in pride or whatever accomplishment. Right. So I think the, the answer to the, the word pride would be a great answer to that question.

Right. So general broken, we know you've got a book coming out this spring that we'll talk about here in just a few minutes. We're getting ready to go to break here in just a moment, but I wanted to, if you don't mind, just contemplate that question for just a moment. And maybe another way to word it is what's the biggest temptation that men deal with, because I think that's what separates the relationship with their wives, with their girlfriends, with their family and with, and with Christ, right.

If they're already walking. So maybe we'll come, when we come back off a break here in just a couple of minutes that we'll chat through that, but be thinking about that when general boy can force and Nick, and then as, as we're getting ready to move into break here in just a moment, uh, we would like to also as a pastor and what are some of the things, if you don't mind, be thinking about that you've seen with the people you've counseled with the challenges that men have dealt with. And as we're coming through this show today, we'd like to challenge each man that's listening. There's an opportunity to make a decision on this program while you're listening to follow Christ.

There's no need to wait. And, uh, when we come back, we'll talk a little bit more about that. We appreciate you joining man talk. We're so honored to have general Boykin with us and the key to code off.

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Remember affordable chiropractic on West Lexington Avenue in high point call 336-885-1987. Welcome back to man talk radio and right before we went to the break, Roy, you had some contemplation type of questions that you wanted us to think about. And, you know, General Boykin, I know he has spoken to all kinds of men's groups all around the nation and the world. And so to lead in with that question that you ended with on the break in reference to men's struggles and some of the things that men have that you see in general that men are just struggling with. And it just seems like, you know, at every turn they have this temptation struggle all over the place. Yeah, I think there's two things that I would I would say right now. One is computer games.

And I think even for adult males, that's a huge problem. They spend way too much time on computer games. And that is non productive time.

This time they could be with their families or they could be doing something really productive. But the second one is the obvious. Second one Josh McDowell says, and Josh has done tremendous research on this. Josh McDowell says 74% of the families in a church have somebody in that family that's addicted to pornography.

Oh my goodness. Now, that that is a frightening statistic. And and if you if you could get an honest answer out of the majority of the men in the church, you would find out that on maybe not on a regular basis, but at some interval, they have gone on a website on the internet and and viewed pornography and it is a sad thing because what it's doing is separating them from their families and separating them from God because the guilt that's associated with it is it is for the average man is enormous.

And and then there it's almost as if they're too humiliated by their own decisions to go before the Lord and confess it and say, Help me, help me, God, I need you to help me not to do this again. And, and by the way, it's not just men. It's a problem for women now to of course, Josh McDowell.

It's an obvious problem. And it's in every church, every church, any pastor that says he does not have a problem with pornography in his church does not know what's going on in this church. And by the way, the average male is now exposed to pornography, hardcore pornography at nine years old.

That is so scary, General. And I think one of the things that most people don't realize and we need to talk about that I'm glad you brought that up is is the physiological effect that that has because the body reacts to stimulate stimulation right in the mind that reacts to stimulation. And over time, that stimulation has to either change or get stronger in order for that same stimulation effect to be at the same level. So if a kid at nine years old, a young man's looking at that stuff, and I'm not an MD, but I've heard enough discussion about and certainly general you and Nick probably as well, that at some point, the body quits reacting with just what they've been looking at, right?

That is exactly right. And what research is showing now is that relatively young men, you know, in their 30s and 40s reach a point where they're no longer stimulated by by their lives. And their ability to perform is greatly diminished. And, and that's what you kind of think through this as you, you know, when you when you go on those websites, and you see this stuff, and there's an instant gratification, endorphins are released into your brain, same as cocaine or something else, you know, a drug. But there's going to come a point where all of that the cumulative effect of that is going to set you up to be unable to have a normal heterosexual relationship with your wife.

And that is the price that you pay for that. You know, General, while you were saying that it, it reminded me of a couple many years ago that I had counseled. And the husband in that relationship, he actually started just looking at like a Sears catalog, you know, the, you know, the undergarment, that's right, the semi new type of thing. That's how he started in the end, he got stimulated by that. And then it led to other things.

And of course, you know, he, he had that desire for more and more as you were talking about the endorphins. And so that, in and of itself, eventually ended their relationship. But yeah, what I was speaking with a lady yesterday that's involved in women's ministry to promote our men's summit coming up, because we're trying to hit both channels, because there's a lot of wives out there and a lot of ladies that would like to have their husbands or sons at these events, because they're trying to get them on the right track of leading properly as a servant of God. And what she said, in which I knew kind of to some level, but she said, Roy, and general, just like you said, there are more and more women getting involved with this than what we realize there are women getting addicted to it as well. But the, the physical damage that occurs in the relationship, and by physical, I mean, she's commented that the many, many, many couples she's counseled with, in this case, and the ladies is there's physical harm coming to the ladies as a result of that. My comment earlier, the stimulation at the visual level and normal healthy relationships, as general has mentioned, is no longer adequate. So they're having to move it to the next level, which means more physical domination or contact or physical roughness, if you will, and in order to achieve the same level of performance or activity with their spouse. And if you think about that, that's scary. I mean, because you're here, you're the lady you're supposed to be protecting and coveting and being her warrior and loving way. Now you're mistreating her as a result of a bad habit and an addiction that you've got, you know, proverbs 25 and 28 says, whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls.

So I think that sort of like talks about, you know, an individual who has no control, no control. Yeah, they're just out there, you know, at full blast, fulfilling those desires as they come. Well, Nick, I in what you've raised four daughters, so I guess, and I've got two daughters and you know, this gives it a whole different context when I've got my two daughters aren't married yet. So I'm sitting here thinking as a potential father in law to some young man coming to court, one of my daughters, I know what the first question is going to be.

It's going to be, are you exposed or addicted to pornography? I mean, that's going to be because I'm going to ensure that my daughter is going to be exposed to a healthy relationship, especially if knowing that both of them are running true to the course right now. And I want to make sure that that's maintained as fathers and husbands.

We've got to do that for our families. So Nick, how your daughters, uh, you've got one unmarried, right? The other three are married.

Yep. Three married and one, one not yet. And your youngest is probably in this courtship stage now or somewhere close and she's pretty serious with a guy. So, um, how does that affect you as a father for daughters to, to hear this stuff? Well, I mean, part of my prayer early on, you know, in my walk and journey with the Lord prior to any of them, any of them being married was, was that the Lord would bring a good godly man into their lives.

Someone who, who loves the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength. And then there were certain, you might say criteria that, that I established with any man that was serious. So one being premarital, premarital, uh, counseling, uh, as well as attending one of the men men's events, either I facilitated or another facilitated, uh, that would address and deal with some of this stuff on those events. And, and so doing my due diligence or, or what satisfied me to believe that if, you know, there'd be an honest and truthful, that they've then addressed that if it was an issue or maybe it wasn't an issue. And, and, and, uh, and so it's just both of those, uh, being involved in premarital counseling as well as being involved in a men's, a men's type of event, like the summit or, or other events that are out there that that would address. If it was an issue, it would address that and, uh, and maybe cut it off at the past.

That's good. So generally, as I think about what you were saying earlier and think about the discipline that we always just referred to from scripture, you know, we as a society, and especially the role you're playing now at the FRC is the morals just seem to us. We have no moral compass anymore. What is your, what is your take on what's going to get our country back on track? Obviously it's gotta be a revival, but how is the man that's listening to this? Cause we've been pushing and pushing men.

It just takes one person to start stepping forward then two, then four, then eight and then 16. Uh, what is your thoughts about that general? We've got about a minute before we go to the next break. Yeah, I think, uh, frankly that the men have to step forward and, and if you've got it, if you can develop a strong family and that strong family is reflective of, I, in many ways it's reflective of a strong man, a man with values, a man that inculcates those values into his children, a man that respects and treats his wife like she's the queen and demonstrates that to the children. I think that, uh, I think that the best way for us to restore morality in this country is for men to live that in the home and let the next generation of children, uh, see that and emulate that.

Amen. That's a great, great response general. When we come back, let's talk about that very thing. Uh, it'll be on the next program cause we're about to end this show. So, but the good news is we're going to keep these gentlemen with us and we're going to go into the next show and we'll be back next week. So be sure and tune in. We're going to continue this conversation. Thank you so much for joining Man Talk Radio. I'm Roy Jones, the white guy and I'm Will Hardy, the black guy, and we appreciate you listening. Join us again next time. Hi folks, this is Johnny, TOCOM's producer for Man Talk Radio podcast. Join us every second Saturday of the month at 8 AM for Bold, becoming obedient led disciples out at the Union Crossing at Union Cross campus located at 1650 Pecan Lane, Kearnsville, North Carolina, 27284. Come grab a biscuit for your body and some fellowship for your spirit.