S5 Ep 10 Men's Issues with Guest Gen Boykin and Nikita Koloff

Welcome to Man Talk, a ministry sponsored by TAWCMM, talking and walking Christian men's ministry, where we're devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination and to point men to their God-assigned roles. Now here's your hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr. Thank you for joining us again for Man Talk Radio. I'm Will Jones. And I'm Will Hardy. We've got two very special guests with us today. We've got Nikita Koloff, former NWA professional wrestler and world champion. And we've also got retired Lieutenant General W.G.

Boykin joining us. So welcome, gentlemen. Thank you. Glad to be with you. Yes, sir. Good to be with all of you, including the general. What a privilege.

What an honor. And Nick, how are you doing? Good, sir.

Seems like you a couple of weeks ago. I was going to say, it seems like you guys are running into each other every couple of weeks these days, aren't you, General? Well, General, thank you for joining us.

Nick, it's good to have you with us this evening. So we want to talk about man issues tonight. And we've got a men's summit coming up here in January, January 24th and 25th.

And on a Friday night, Saturday. And we're excited about having these two men with us. And we want to just kind of open up.

And we're one of those two men. Why don't you say hello to everybody and we'll get started. Well, we'd just like to again thank God for all of the listeners out there. And we just want to thank God for General Boykin for joining us again.

And Nikita, I want to start with General Boykin. General, if you could tell us, how did you come to know Christ? What was that moment in your life that that brought you to Christ? What brought you to the feet of the cross?

Yeah, well, mine's probably a little different than a lot of people. I grew up in the church, in a very fundamentalist church. And I really rejected Christ my entire life. You know, I went all through college, playing football up at Virginia Tech and just deciding that I was going to have it my way and I was going to enjoy what I was doing.

But then I took a commission in the Army. And when I came to Fort Benning, Georgia to go through my initial training at Fort Benning, I just felt God saying to me, I have a purpose for your life, but it will never be fulfilled unless you submit yourself to me. And right by myself, I knelt down and I knew what I had to do. And I knelt down and asked the Lord to become the Lord of my life. Because the enemy came and told me that I had blasphemed. Ten years earlier when that traveling evangelist looked down in that crowd and said, if you don't come to this altar tonight, you may never have another chance. You didn't go and you felt me calling you there and you didn't go. That was your last chance.

And I got to tell you, I was miserable for two weeks until I got to my mother, who does not have a high school education, but she knows the Word of God. And I said, Mom, I'm doomed to hell. She said, Why son?

Why do you say that? I said, because I blasphemed. I didn't answer the altar call ten years ago. And my mama looked at me and said, That is the oldest trick in the book. Son, have you confessed your sins? Yes, mama. Have you asked him to be the Lord of your...

Yes, mama. She said, Then you're saved. Now get over it and believe the Word of God. Amen.

Wow. That's fantastic. That is absolutely fantastic, because we have a lot of individuals out there, I think, who, when they share the gospel message, you know, there's always that ulterior motive. But God really led you down that path and, you know, brought you on that straight and narrow. And we're thankful that you are where you are, because you're doing great work for the Lord. And we just thank God for you.

Yes. Well, thank you very much. So, General, we would like to also ask you, and I think a lot of the men are listening out here, they're afraid to make a commitment. You know, they're standing on the sidelines, as you know, and that's our mission is trying to get men off the sidelines, those that are in the church, but also those that aren't even in the body of Christ. You and Nick are what we call men's men. I mean, you are God's man, but you're also a man's kind of man. You know, you don't sugarcoat things. You speak truth. You speak it out of love.

What would you say to those men sitting out there on the sideline tonight? Just saying, I'm just not ready to make a commitment. And we know we're not guaranteed tomorrow, but what does it mean to be a man's kind of man walking with God? Yeah, you know, it takes a heck of a lot more courage, and I mean that in the strongest sense of the word, courage, to commit your life to Christ and to be open about it. I don't mean be in people's face, but I mean living your faith, openly living your faith. It takes a whole lot more courage than anything that I know of, and I've been with some of the most courageous men on this planet in the Delta Force and the Rangers and the Special Forces. And I think Nick would tell you the same thing, you know, that it takes a lot more courage. So what are you waiting for? I mean, you know, find your courage and make that commitment and then follow through on it.

Live it, because there is no disadvantage to that, but there's every advantage of knowing that you have a Savior that will never leave you nor forsake you. You're in every situation, and you've always got a place to turn, no matter how perplexing your current circumstances happen to be. You've got hope, right, General?

That's exactly right. Nick, in your life, I know you've run across all sorts of people as well. Do you find that one thing that we found through a lot of our discovery of conversations and our reading and studies is that men are typically lonely, and they're missing something in their life. And typically, it's a close friendship, but only one person, Jesus, can fill that friendship and that void that's in men's lives. But too often, we're out there chasing everything but.

So in your walk, as you'd shared before in a previous program with us, you know, you were looking for fulfillment, but once you got to the pinnacle, you were still feeling extremely void. What would you say to those men out there, like General Boykin was just sharing, what are you waiting for, but what would you say to those men that are just on the cusp of making that decision? Why should a man that's listening tonight come off the fence?

Well, I think the General hit the nail on the head when he asked the question, what are you waiting for? Because really, what are you waiting for? I mean, waiting for the sun to come up next year, or waiting to land the next new job. The one thing I have found, and even in listening to the General's story and his testimony, whether you're a Lieutenant General in the military fighting on the battlefield, or as I have done as an athlete, you know, fighting in a professional wrestling ring, no matter what you accomplish in life, as we have discussed and talked, there's still going to be that void, that empty feeling, that feeling of loneliness you're talking about for me.

I find it interesting, the number of men, in being involved in men's ministry the many years I have, who will voice that, who will say, I just feel so lonely, so they chase all these other things, right, trying to fill it, but we all know, all of us on this program tonight, know that there's only one thing, as you mentioned, a personal relationship with Jesus, that will fill that void, that will fill that emptiness, and bring, in whatever sense or feeling of loneliness, will address that feeling of loneliness. For those who are sitting on the sidelines, sitting on the fence, it's a great question, what are you waiting for? Something to ask yourself, what am I waiting for? And if you can't come up with a decisive answer, then perhaps tonight's the night to just find the courage, as the General said, break down, surrender your life to Jesus, and open up your heart, and move forward in life's journey, with Him by your side.

Good, good. So, Nick, one question, what do you think the biggest challenge that men face today is in their lives? The biggest challenge, I think, it's, again, we try to find, I think, as men, we try to find satisfaction, if you will, in the pursuit of success, which comes in many different forms, for different men, for some it's in the workplace, in the marketplace, you know, climbing the ladder of success in the corporate world, for others, you know, athletes trying to go from one level of athleticism to another elite level, so there's different things that people chase in order to, you know, in pursuit of all that.

But here again, I mean, once you said the word pinnacle, Nikita, you reached a pinnacle, and yeah, I did, and then I realized I was still lost and still in the valley, still empty, and something was still missing, and that's just, I found that's just the key. When you say the biggest, I don't know that there's any one, you can pinpoint one of the biggest struggles, but I will throw this word out there for discussion, the word pride. That we as men have a tendency to be very prideful, especially if we have any sense of accomplishment whatsoever, I mean, it'd be easy to look at the general and go, hey, you reached the rank of lieutenant general, you know, wow, it'd be easy for him, if he's not mindful, to get puffed up in pride, and the fact that, you know, I reached the world champion status in professional wrestling, it'd be easy to get puffed up in pride, or whatever accomplishment.

So I think the word pride would be a great answer to that question. So General Boykin, we know you've got a book coming out this spring that we'll talk about here in just a few minutes, we'll get ready to go to break here in just a moment, but I wanted to, if you don't mind, just contemplate that question for just a moment, and maybe another way to word it is, what's the biggest temptation that men deal with, because I think that's what separates the relationship with their wives, with their girlfriends, with their family, and with Christ, right, if they're already walking. So maybe we'll come when we come back off break here in just a couple of minutes that we'll chat through that, but be thinking about that one, General Boykin for us and Nick. And then as we're getting ready to move into break here in just a moment, Will, I'd like to also, as a pastor, and what are some of the things, if you don't mind be thinking about that you've seen with the people you've counseled with the challenges that men have dealt with. And as we're coming through this show today, we'd like to challenge each man that's listening, there's an opportunity to make a decision on this program, while you're listening, to follow Christ, there's no need to wait. And when we come back, we'll talk a little bit more about that. We appreciate you joining man talk.

We're so honored to have General Boykin with us and the key to code off and we'll be back in just a few moments. Hi folks, this is Johnny tokens producer for man talk radio podcast. I just want to remind you to join us every first, third and fifth Friday for an amazing breakfast and fellowship with men who have a heart for God, and a love for their fellow Christian men at the crossing at South main campus located 1130 South Main Street.

cornersville North Carolina 27284 doors open at 630 with a hard stop at 8am. So come out and recharge your spirit before starting your weekend. Welcome back to man talk radio. And right before we went to the break, Roy, you had some contemplation type of questions that you wanted us to think about.

And, you know, General Boykin I know he has spoken to all kinds of men's groups all around the nation and the world. And so to lead in with that question that you ended with on the break, in reference to men's struggles, and some of the things that men have that you've seen general that men are just struggling with and it just seems like either at every turn. They have this temptation struggle all over the place. I think there's two things that I would, I would say right now one is computer games, and I think even for adult males. That's a huge problem they spend way too much time on computer games. And that is non productive time this time they could be with their families or they could be doing something really productive but the second one is the obvious. When Josh McDowell says, and Josh has done tremendous research on this, Josh McDowell says 74% of the families in a church have somebody in that family that's addicted to pornography.

Oh my goodness. That is a frightening statistic. And if you could get an honest answer out of the majority of the men in the church, you would find out that, maybe not on a regular basis, but at some interval, they have gone on a website on the internet and viewed pornography. And it is a sad thing because what it's doing is separating them from their families and separating them from God because the guilt that's associated with it is, it is for the average man is enormous.

And then there, it's almost as if they're too humiliated by their own decisions to go before the Lord and confess it and say, help me, help me, God I need you to help me not to do this again. And by the way, it's not just men, it's a problem for women now too of course, Josh McDowell. But it's an obvious problem and it's in every church, every church. Any pastor that says he does not have a problem with pornography in his church does not know what's going on in his church. And by the way, the average male is now exposed to pornography, hardcore pornography at nine years old.

That is so scary, General. And I think one of the things that most people don't realize, and we need to talk about that, I'm glad you brought that up, is the physiological effect that that has. Because the body reacts to stimulation, right? And the mind reacts to stimulation. And over time, that stimulation has to either change or get stronger in order for that same stimulation effect to be at the same level. So if a kid at nine years old, a young man's looking at that stuff, and I'm not an MD, but I've heard enough discussion about it, and certainly General, you and Nick probably as well, that at some point the body quits reacting with just what they've been looking at, right? That is exactly right, and what research is showing now is that relatively young men in their 30s and 40s reach a point where they're no longer stimulated by their wives, and their ability to perform is greatly diminished. And look, you've got to think through this.

When you go on one of those websites, and you see this stuff, and there's an ester gratification, endorphins are released into your brain, the same as cocaine or something else, you know, a drug. But there's going to come a point where all of that, the cumulative effect of that, is going to set you up to be unable to have a normal heterosexual relationship with your wife, and that is the price that you pay for that. You know, General, while you were saying that, it reminded me of a couple many years ago that I had counseled, and the husband in that relationship, he actually started just looking at like a Sears catalog. Undergarment.

That's right. The semi-new type of thing, that's how he started, and he got stimulated by that, and then it led to other things, and of course, you know, he had that desire for more and more as you were talking about the endorphins, and so that in and of itself eventually ended their relationship. But I was speaking with a lady yesterday that's involved in women's ministry to promote our men's summit coming up, because we're trying to hit both channels, because there's a lot of wives out there and a lot of ladies that would like to have their husbands or sons at these events, because they're trying to get them on the right track of leading properly as a servant of God. And what she said, and which I knew kind of to some level, but she said really, and General, just like you had said, there are more and more women getting involved with this than what we realized. There are women getting addicted to it as well. But the physical damage that occurs in the relationship, and by physical I mean she's commented that the many, many, many couples she's counseled with in this case, and the ladies, is there's physical harm coming to the ladies as a result of my comment earlier. The stimulation at the visual level in normal healthy relationships, as General has mentioned, is no longer adequate, so they're having to move it to the next level, which means more physical domination or contact or physical roughness, if you will, in order to achieve the same level of performance or activity with their spouse. And if you think about that, that's scary, because the lady you're supposed to be protecting and coveting and being her warrior in a loving way, now you're mistreating her as a result of a bad habit and an addiction that you've got. Proverbs 25 and 28 says, whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls. So I think that sort of talks about an individual who has no control, no self-control. They're just out there at full blast, fulfilling those desires as they come. Well, Nick, you've raised four daughters, and I've got two daughters.

This gives a whole different context. My two daughters aren't married yet, so I'm sitting here thinking as a potential father-in-law to some young man coming to court, one of my daughters, I know what the first question is going to be. It's going to be, are you exposed or addicted to pornography? I mean, that's going to be because I'm going to ensure that my daughter is going to be exposed to a healthy relationship, especially knowing that both of them are running true to their course right now. And I want to make sure that's maintained as fathers and husbands.

We've got to do that for our families. So Nick, your daughters, you've got one unmarried, right? The other three are married? Yep, three married and one not yet married. And your youngest is probably in this courtship stage now, or somewhere close.

She's pretty serious with the guy. So how does that affect you as a father of four daughters to hear this stuff? Well, part of my prayer early on in my walking journey with the Lord, prior to any of them being married, was that the Lord would bring a good godly man into their lives, someone who loves the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength. And then there were certain, you might say, criteria that I established with any man that was serious, one being premarital counseling, as well as attending one of the men's events that either I facilitated or another facilitated, that would address and deal with some of this stuff on those events. And so my due diligence, or what satisfied me to believe that if they're being honest and truthful, that they've addressed that if it was an issue, or maybe it wasn't an issue. And so it's just both of those being involved in premarital counseling as well as being involved in a men's type of event like the summit or other events that are out there that that would address if it was an issue, it would address that and maybe cut it off in the past.

That's good. So, General, as I think about what you were saying earlier, and think about the discipline that Will was just referring to from Scripture, you know, we as a society, and especially the role you're playing now at the FRC, the morals just seem to, we have no moral compass anymore. What is your take on what's going to get our country back on track? Obviously, it's got to be a revival, but how is the man that's listening to this, because we've been pushing and pushing men, it just takes one person to start stepping forward, then two, then four, then eight, then 16. What is your thoughts about that, General?

We've got about a minute before we go to the next break. Yeah, I think, frankly, that the men have to step forward, and if you can develop a strong family, and that strong family is reflective of, in many ways, is reflective of a strong man, a man with values, a man that inculcates those values into his children, a man that respects and treats his wife like she's the queen and demonstrates that to the children. I think that the best way for us to restore morality in this country is for men to live that in the home and let the next generation of children see that and emulate that. Amen. That's a great response, General. When we come back, let's talk about that very thing. It'll be on the next program, because we're about to end this show, but the good news is we're going to keep these gentlemen with us, and we're going to go into the next show, and we'll be back next week, so be sure and tune in. We're going to continue this conversation. Thank you so much for joining ManTalk Radio.

I'm Roy Jones, the white guy, and I'm Will Hardy, the black guy, and we appreciate you listening. Join us again next time. As we conclude today's show, TAWCMM, Talking and Walking Christian Men's Ministry, are building a community of men to be servant leaders in their home, communities, churches, and work environment. Check us out at our website for upcoming events and regular scheduled meetings. Don't forget to send us an email for topics that you would like us to visit in the future. Thank you for joining us today on ManTalk. Visit us at TAWCMM.com.