Family Frustration

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Share it. But most of all, thank you for listening and choosing the Truth Podcast Network. Welcome to Truth Network. I'm your host, Will Hardy.

And Roy Jones Jr. A black guy and a white guy. Okay, listening audience, I got a question for you. Have you ever had somebody in your family that just really, really got under your skin?

And if we was on TV, I would say raise your hand. Let me see the hands out there of the folks who really, really had that family member who just got under your skin. And, you know, they want to tell you everything that you're doing wrong and tell you nothing about what you're doing right. I know you got some folks out there in your family that's like that. So on this segment, Roy, we're going to talk about family frustrations.

And that covers all the bases, right? Children get frustrated with parents, parents get frustrated with children, wife gets frustrated with the husband. Husband never gets frustrated with the wife, of course.

Someone out there would say is I beg to differ. And then the in-laws get frustrated with the daughter-in-law, the son-in-law, and the son-in-law gets frustrated with the parents-in-law and it goes on and on and on. So yes, it's happened.

And it does happen. And see, what we have to understand as born again believers is we have to understand, because we talk about in the opening of the show, God assigned roles for men. But there's also God assigned roles for children. There's God assigned roles for wives. There's God assigned roles for the aged women. There's God assigned roles even for offices within the church, deacons, bishops, pastors, teachers. There are roles and responsibilities in which God has assigned each one of these. So we have to understand as born again believers, what is my role in my household? What is your role? Well, if you're listening to this, ask yourself, what is your role?

That's right. And so if you don't know what your role is, let me help you. It's good for man to be alone. So therefore, I'm going to make him a helper that's comparable to him.

So compatible. And the old King James just says, help me. So when God made woman and then Adam named her and he also got all this responsibility, naming all the animals and such and all these things. So right then God was setting man up in his role as the responsible head of what would soon to be the first family. And we're not talking about first family at the White House either. So well, I don't know what could say President Biden fell recently, a couple of times going upstairs.

So Adam eventually fell, but not quite the same. Okay, I'll let that one go. What does God say in reference to children? And when we look at scripture, the command, now notice now, listening audience, this is a command is not a suggestion.

That's number one. God commands the parents in that household. In Proverbs 22 and six, it says, train up a child in the way that they should go, that when they are old, they will not go. They will not depart from it. It is their faith. Amen.

Amen. So they won't stray. They won't go. They won't permanently stray. Well, exactly, exactly.

They won't permanently stray because they'll stay anchored. Right. Now, if a person is staying in the Word of God, who God wrote through the Apostle John in First John chapter two and verse five. He says that whoever whosoever keeps my word, the love of God is going to be perfected in him.

In other words, matured. So I submit to the last statement that you made that as long as we are submitting ourselves to the Holy Spirit of God. We are yielding ourselves to perfection and we'll continue to walk. Now we are not perfect, but we're yielding ourselves to the one who is perfect within us. So as we yield ourselves to that perfect person who dwells within us in the form of the Holy Spirit.

Now we are walking in perfection. And as long as we're walking in perfection, we don't sin because you can't sin and not sin. You can't sin because you can't sin. You can't sin because you can't sin.

You can't sin because you can't sin at the same time. You're going to do one or the other. Right. And back to the raising up of your children. Well, what came to mind back to scripture is about not exasperating your children right to anger. So the fathers have a responsible, as do the mothers, not to exasperate their children and to bring to a point of anger as part of that raising up in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Exactly. Because that's Ephesians chapter six, verses one through four. It says children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. And then he goes on to say that this is the first commandment with promise, with promise. God promises that you will do well, children, and that you will live long on the earth.

So those are the two blessings that come from the fact that if a child honors their parents, God say you're going to do well and you're going to live a long time. But that's only if you honor. See, so it's conditional, right? It's conditional. It's not not conditional. So conditional says that this is what you have to do in order for God to do this.

Then he goes on to say, fathers, don't provoke your children to wrath. Don't do it. Don't don't go in there and say you you're just a dunderhead. You're just nobody. And you're sowing all of these negative things into your child. You're not building them up. Obviously, you're tearing them down, Roy. Yeah. And that goes back to some of the things we talked about in the past.

The dysfunction that creates dysfunction, right? Because the child and starts to act out, starts to behave in a way that's not honoring you as the father or mother, but also not honoring the Heavenly Father. Exactly. And so he says, don't don't provoke them to wrath. But he says, bring them up in the learning and admonition in other translations. It says teaching, teaching and admonition. You're supposed to be teachers of your children, teachers of the scriptures, because your children are looking at you. And believe me, if you do something outside of character, they're going to let you know right away. Dad, remember when you said this? Remember when you said you did this as a child?

And but see, if I did that on a child, that's because I didn't understand where I was at the point. But that doesn't mean you have to do it. Right. See, but they'll use that is what I'm saying. We heard that before. They'll use it as an excuse and a heartbeat.

So we'll find one of the listeners out there today and that you're speaking to my heart about these things as a listener and says, hey, I don't know how to do that. Where does that individual go? Because that's that's part of the problem.

Right. With men of today, they weren't trained up properly and they're not quite sure where to go get the training. Well, you know, there are a lot of parents who simply drop their children off to church and they expect the church to give the children what they need spiritually. But you've got to come back home eventually. Because being at church Sunday school and participating in Sunday school or events is not enough because they're only there for a few hours. But they're with the parents a long time.

So you have to responsibility will lie on the parents because after you depart this life and you stand before Jesus Christ, if you're a born again believer, God, he's he's going to say, look, I gave you these children. What did you do in order to sow into them so they could become my representatives and follow me and do those things in which I commanded? Husband, I gave you a wife. What did you do with the wife that I gave you?

How did you sow into her life? Because in Ephesians again, Roy, in Chapter five, verses twenty two through twenty nine, God gives commands to the wife and to the husband. And he tells the wife to love her husband as unto the Lord. Because he said, you know, this this man, he is the head of the house for the husband is the head of the house, just as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. So your husband is is your savior in the sense, because what God is blessing through Paul is to set up this parallel comparison to Christ and the church and what the husband's supposed to be doing in his household with his wife. And he says it again over in Revelation one and six, we are kings and priests and then we're heirs and joint heirs. He says that in Romans Chapter eight. So we we have all of these responsibilities. And yet we'll we're failing because we are attempting to look at our own needs rather than looking at the needs of the individuals within our family.

I see that, too. Well, my question is back to what we're chatting about midstream. There was if the man's man sitting here listening today to us talk and he says, hey, I want to do better and I want to train up and I want to lead properly. Where what does he do? Where does he get the answer?

Well, where does he go? OK, the first thing he needs to do is what we're giving you is we're giving you verses that talk to us. We're giving you verses that talk about your role. OK, so so the wife that your role is, as it's stated in Ephesians Chapter four, he goes on to talk about husbands. Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. So this is what you need to do. You need to love your wife just as Christ.

Again, that parallel. So you go you go to the word, but you have to start with gathering your word. You're gathering your family together. You're supposed to start by praying with them. You're supposed to be start start by giving them and the family goals in order to meet spiritually every single week. We'll be right back. First Christian Church in Kernersville, 1130 North Main Street in Kernersville.

They have a hard start at seven o'clock and a hard stop at eight o'clock. First time visitors eat for free. Join your host, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy. Affordable chiropractic in High Point, as you might tell from their name, affordable chiropractic, even for the cash patient. Dr. Jeff Rickey has been caring for patients in High Point for 34 years. Physical therapy such as ultrasound and spinal decompression for disc conditions such as herniation, comprehensive care for auto accident injury patients with no out of pocket expense. Remember, affordable chiropractic on West Lexington Avenue in High Point.

Call 336-885-1987. Welcome back to ManTalk Radio. Will, that was a great, great lead in right before the break and excellent start.

You've got to be in the scripture first. We talk about some of what we call blocking and tackling at the summit, some of the fundamental things. And men, we're not assuming anything here because we've seen Will and I worked with hundreds of men over the last several years. We know some of the challenges that men go through.

It goes back to conversations of the past. Men were not trained up properly. And that's why we're in the shape we're in today with a lot of the issues we're dealing with and the divorce rates and all those things. So men were not trained up properly in the biblical sense and what God intended for us to do.

So Will, that was a great lead in. So the question continues on, then what else can I do? So we've got to get in scripture. They need to really, I guess, process and digest the scripture and take it a piece at a time.

It's about qualitative reading, not quantitative reading. Right. So that you get in there and you start letting God speak to you through the scriptures. Exactly. And get yourself. See, you have to get yourself around solid men who are foundationally rooted and grounded in the word of God.

Right. That's where it has to begin. Because if if you read something and you don't have an understanding of what is being said, they have all kinds of Bibles out here today to really break things down, you know, in putting it in language in today's language where men can understand these things.

So it's the Bible today is written in such that when you read it, it's not like you're reading the King James version in which God blessed me to study and to learn from foundationally and build my foundation on when I was growing up, if you will, into the church. So that's where you got to go, man. You have to you have to say, if I want to do better, where do I start?

Get yourself around a strong group of body of believers. And might I add, TAWCMM is probably a good place to start. Plug, plug. Yeah. And we'd welcome any of you to be there, in fact.

Absolutely. You know, talking and walking Christian ministry. This is what we're all about. We're all about building up men and making men to understand the things that they may not be getting at home or may not be understanding. There's all kinds of resources with the ministry and outlets where you can go to get information, to ask questions and all these things like that. But if you don't understand your role and this is what we're giving you. So when you go to the scriptures, you don't understand something, then go get some understanding from your pastor, minister or or leader of the men's group.

Sit down, get some understanding. And what what is the scripture telling me if I don't have full understanding? There's all kinds of other resources out there that you can go to to get an understanding of specific topics of the Bible and things like this. But once you get in there and and you are committed to doing the word, reading the word and doing what the word says, now you become a active participant of the kingdom believers. Active participant, that's a great phrase, active participant as opposed to non active. We've got a lot of and I think you like using the term sitting on the sidelines.

Yeah, exactly. An active participant fits great will mean if you're listening to us today and you're asking yourself, have I done a good job? And I'm sure that you have with the best intent of trying to do the best you can. We're trying to give you some tools that will help you go to the next level that takes you off of the sideline, becoming an active participant to get into the game and go from savior and being saved into discipleship.

Because your role is not to sit and grow and be by yourself. Your role as a follower of Christ is to do what? Make disciples. That's right. And you can't do that unless you get out.

That's right. You got to interact with men of a, you know, a group of body of believers who are rooted and grounded. And you have to understand by being around these men, you'll begin to talk to them, begin to reach out to them. And you you you might even get one of these. I think the general calls it a battle buddy, battle buddy, you know, so you get you get in there and you can get your battle buddy and say, hey, if I'm struggling on something, can I give you a call? You know, and it's just like we have with this study that we're doing now, which is a great study called Maximizing Manhood.

And it's a really, really good study. And so the fact that and I'm glad God gave you that vision, Roy, because, you know, with the small groups and you know, I'm a big, small group participant. I love small groups. I think small groups build the body of Christ bigger, stronger and faster than any type of environment you will be in if you in a church of five hundred or five thousand.

You know, because you don't get that intimate interaction and understand men's problems from their perspective. And if you're going through something like that, they may have things that they could share with you that could help you in your walk. And you can reciprocate and do likewise.

Yeah. And I we both are great fans of small groups because we've seen the benefits we've been a part of. We are in small groups. And it's an amazing thing, man, if you've not been a part of that small group of fellowship. Jesus had the twelve and then he had the inner circle, right?

The smaller group of men, three or four men that were around him all the time that he trusted and had a higher level of conversation. Right. So if Jesus saw the need to have twelve men around him, that should tell you something about where we need to be as men of God. We can't do it by ourselves. We have to have people praying for us. We have to have that opportunity to share what's going on with a brother who can hold us accountable, who can also pray up for us when we're in the middle of a storm. We can lift our family up when a family member is ill or we're having that dysfunction that's going on in the family. So many different things can be illustrated about this personal relationship.

I mean, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having an intimate relationship, healthy relationship with another man that you can sit down and talk to. Absolutely. Absolutely. And we talk quite often about that. For those of us that have been through sports or been through military, whatever it happens to be, there's a camaraderie that can't be equaled in the in the in the natural.

It has to be something that's in the supernatural. And God will bless that and he will honor that. He will truly honor that. And oftentimes we say we don't know how to do these things. That's OK. We often say to our men, if you'll start walking in the natural, you don't have to have all the answers.

You don't have to know exactly how to do everything. He'll reveal that to you. Will, I'm sure when you started studying the Bible, you had no idea how God was going to bless you.

Exactly. Recall, you know, I watch Will's like a Rolodex when his eyes start, he goes off and he pulls the scripture back. God has blessed him in a way that most people will never have that that that benefit. And but he's blessed Will. And that's the way he's honored Will with Will's heart to serve him. Will didn't set out knowing that's how God was going to bless him.

He just said, I'm going to apply myself. I'm going to start stepping in the natural. Amen. And that's what God has done.

God has blessed him. So men, if you're listening and women as well and young men and young ladies, if you're listening and you think God speaking to you that you need to start doing something, but you don't know where to go, how to get started. Just literally just start walking. Choose a church. Choose a body of believers. Go somewhere. Just start saying, Father, I'm going to step out on faith. I'm going to allow you to work through me and in me and take me to the places I need to go. Because one thing's for sure, if you're sitting on the sidelines or if you're sitting still, he won't be able to use you. You we are his foot soldiers.

We don't have to have all the answers. And so many times I've watched men and women in their lives. They just start stepping in. God does some amazing things through those individuals.

Amen. So, you know, and Roy, it just brings to mind, as you were saying that we do we do fall. And there's nothing wrong with falling because you're still in this natural body. So you're going to slip.

You're going to fall down. And God tells us, you know, he says in Hebrews chapter 12, verses 14 and 15, he says, pursue peace with all men. And in that pursuing, he said, you do that with holiness by which no man shall see the Lord. Now, here's the here's the part that we really need to listen to, because he said, lest any one fall short of the grace of God. And then they allow the root of bitterness to come in.

And when the root of bitterness comes in, he said, many will be defiled. You don't want your conversation to be a conversation of defilement. You want it to exhort. You want it to uplift. You want it to edify. You want it to build people up rather than tearing them down, because we got all kind of mechanisms out there that tear people down already.

We don't want to do that. We want to build people up. And there comes a time in all of our lives to where we, as born again believers, we're going to say to ourselves, Lord, I want to do more, but I seem to be doing less. So having a desire to do more, Roy, but we find ourselves doing less.

How does a man get out of something like that? Well, I think it goes back to the mind, right? The mind is, we've got to renew it every day. And we can rationalize and convince ourselves that we don't have the time, that we're too tired, that we're just, we're not going to make a difference. And when those negative thoughts come in, you've got to immediately take them captive and turn them right back over to the Father and say, this is for you, Lord.

You deal with this. I'm on track. I'm going to start stepping again, back step and start stepping. It's like those days of two days, for those of us that played football, two days, you did not want to get out of the bed after about the fourth day because you were slap worn out.

I mean, you were just worn out, but you knew you had to in order to get to what the ultimate goal was. It's no different walking with God. It's back to the joy. The joy comes because, you know, and have the peace that he loves you and he's got you taken care of and he will cradle you always. It doesn't mean it's going to be non stormy.

It doesn't mean it's going to be clear blue skies all the time. And the happiness is just that emotion that swings up and down. Happiness, sadness, sadness, happiness, that whole thing. So that's what it's all about, Will. And my heart says that, and God has really, I guess, blessed me to understand this even more with the trials I've been through in my lifetime is that it doesn't matter how hard the trial is.

It means I'm tempering you a little bit more for the next step so that when you meet that man who's gone through or going through the same thing you went through, you'll be able to share from a point of experience like we talk about quite often versus from a point of an opinion. Because you can speak to how I've loved you and how I've carried you through this journey and how this storm was settled, even in the midst of not being able to see the sunlight because you trusted me and you allowed me to carry you through this. So then I'll be able to share with a man like Will Hardy that says, hey, you know, I've just lost a loved one.

I've just done this. And the things that you've been through that you can share with the next person. And that's what's so important about this journey, men and women.

We just we just trust that you're God's using us to share some encouragement with you to challenge you and to take it to the next level. Don't ever be satisfied in your walk. Do not be satisfied that you have arrived. Because trust me, you haven't arrived as we know that it's a constant journey. We will not finish it until the day is complete. That's the day the Lord calls us home. Read your Bible every single day.

Yes. Read it every single day. If that's the thing that I can leave with you, if it's nothing but two, three, four verses. And and after you read those verses, see what God is saying and how can I apply this in my life? Read the word of God daily and pray before you sit down to read. Absolutely. Pray before you sit down to read.

Because you have to make deposits in your inward man. You've got to do it. Thank you so much for joining us. You folks have a blessed week.

We love you. As we wrap up today's show, be assured that TAWCMM, Talking and Walking Christian Men's Ministry, is building a community of men that are Christ followers with the desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events and regularly scheduled meetings. Drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on Man Talk today. Visit us at www.tawcmm.com. Men walking the talk.