From the Love Worth Finding studios in Memphis, Tennessee, I'm Byron Tyler here with Kerry Vaughn, the CEO of Love Worth Finding. Kerry, today we continue our theme here at Love Worth Finding during the month of February on love.
Our messages for the entire month of February are centered on marriage and family. Today's message when the string snaps. And it reminds me of a time Adrian Rogers was here in the studio and asked the question about stress in marriage.
Is it a bad thing? Well, indeed, a little stress is a very good thing. It's like the force applied to the violin strings. When you pull the bow across these strings that are taught and tight, then beautiful music comes forth. But of course, if the strings are loose, then there's just an awful sound. But if the string is too tight, the string will snap. And so we're talking about what happens to the music of marriage when the string snaps. You know, it's good to know when it's time to bring counsel into the home, right? Every family has problems.
I know mine does. But it is crucial to attack those problems, Byron, and not each other. And I think that's what we learned through not only this sermon, but also this series.
Well, Kerry, yes, you're right. When husbands and wives play the parts that God has designed and really equipped each of us to do in our marriage, there's not just a mere melody, but it's a wonderful harmony. Dr. Rogers said that joy, true joy, is that constant presence of God no matter what happens.
But a merry heart is the ability to capture and enjoy those wonderful times of life, then let it turn to laughter. You know, that's beautiful, right? If you really have the joy of the Lord in your heart, it's going to show in your face. And God is not the author of confusion.
We know that. And God is the only one that can give true wisdom. Well, before that string snaps, we need to learn to laugh, cultivate contentment, alleviate anger, and walk in wisdom.
Amen, brother. And that's what we want our listeners to walk away with as nuggets to apply to their lives. Well, to help you along this theme of marriage and family, the entire series, as I mentioned, is in this book, The Music of Marriage. It's a great resource available here at Love We're Finding. It's a wonderful resource, and it's for any couple in any stage of life, right? If they're newly married, if they're in the middle of life, or if they're trying to finish well. One chapter in the book is called Tuning Up Tired Marriages. Boy, I like that, because we all need a tune-up, and we all need a shot in the arm.
We all need to have a refresher. And that's exactly what this book is, and it will help couples find or get back to the loving song that they were meant to play in their marriage. Well, friend, for a gift of any amount, you can get a copy of this resource, The Music of Marriage, and you can call 1-877-LOVEGOD or LWF.org. Again, Carrie, we're always excited to hear from our Love We're Finding friends to know how the ministry is impacting their walk with Christ, and we've got a wonderful response now. Dr. Adrian Rogers' lessons bless me every weekday morning. I listen on radio, and I love his messages. They teach, they edify, and they instruct me in ways I just cannot explain. God is blessing me through His work. Thanks for all you do. You know, again, the fruit and the results of a God-blessed ministry called Love We're Finding, and that's what we desire to hear, and we see God working in the lives of people.
And so we love your prayer support, we love your financial support, and we just want to say thank you and God bless you. Well, Carrie, with today's message, When the String Snaps, Part 1, here's Adrian Rogers. Husbands and wives are to sing the same song, but they sing different parts. That's what makes it harmonious. Not mere melody, but wonderful harmony when we play the part that God has equipped us to play. And so, husbands and wives are singing the same song, different parts.
Hopefully they're singing the right rhythm so they sing it together. But now today I want to talk to you on this subject, When the String Snaps. I'm really talking about tension in the home. Now look, if you will, beginning in verse 13. A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge, but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness. All the days of the afflicted are evil, but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith.
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox that is filet mignon and hatred therewith. A wrathful man stirreth up strife, but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife. The way of the slothful man is as an hedge of thorns, but the way of the righteous is made plain. A wise son maketh a glad father, but a foolish man despiseth his mother. Folly is joy to him that is destitute of wisdom, but a man of understanding walketh uprightly.
Without counsel, purposes are disappointed, but in the multitude of counselors they are established. I'm going to stop reading there, but I want you to notice some words. Just if you don't mind marking your Bible, verse 13, sorrow. Verse 15, afflicted. Verse 16, trouble. Verse 17, hatred. Verse 18, strife.
Verse 22, disappointed. Now, all of these are almost synonyms for strife, just strife or tension or stress, I suppose. All of these are times when the fiddle string gets too tight. You know, I've become quite a musician preparing these messages, but I found out, and what I already knew really, that when the violin string is not tight enough, then the music is flat and dull. But if the string is too tight, then the music is shrill and high pitched.
But if the string is even yet more tight, the string will snap. Now, I think one of the major obstacles to the music of marriage is tension in the home. It is stress and strife. Stress is related to raising your voice.
It is related to raising your pulse and raising your children. I mean, if you've got children, dear friend, you have stress just built in. And look at these words again, sorrow, affliction, trouble, hatred, strife.
All of these are stress words. And being in today's home, dear friend, I want to tell you the string can get mighty tight, and sometimes it can snap. Did you know that domestic violence is a major problem in America? An act of domestic violence, I'm talking about horrible violence in the home, happens every 15 seconds in America, 15 seconds. About half of all married couples have times where they have absolute violence in the home. And in one-fourth of all marriages, violence is a common occurrence. And 20 percent of all murders in America are inside the family, 20 percent.
Thirteen percent of those are committed by spouses. We used to say when we come home, it's a jungle out there. And, friend, it may be a jungle in here. But not only is it a damage this stress to our homes, but also to our health. You know, stress is a terrible thing. Stress will do the same thing to you that sand will do to machinery.
I read something interesting the other day. These boys who land these fighter jets on the decks of aircraft carriers, would you think that's stressful? Well, friend, I'll guarantee you that's stressful.
It would be to me to land one of these jets on the deck of an aircraft carrier. The pilots who land those aircraft on the decks of that ship have a much higher cholesterol level. And that's something. You see, that's stress. Now, not all stress is bad.
I mean, it takes certain tension to make the violin play at all. You've got to have some stress. But I'm telling you, dear friend, that too much stress is dangerous to the home, it's dangerous to the health, and obviously then it's dangerous to our happiness. So I want to give you four things. Four things now just to relieve stress in your home, just to put the music of marriage back there when the string gets so tight, when the upright gets so uptight that the string snaps. Now, if you're so stressed up that you don't know what to do, that is, you're all stressed up and nowhere to go, I want you to pay attention because we're going to go to the Word of God. And this passage that I just read to you from the book of Proverbs that deals with stress has four very wonderful, wonderful, wonderful admonitions for your home, my home, your heart, and my heart. Number one, and you'll be surprised at this, learn to laugh.
Just learn to laugh. Look, if you will, in verse 13, A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance. Have you ever seen people, they claim to be saved, but they look like they have a gallbladder attack? I mean, if they have a merry heart, the Bible says it's going to show up on the face. A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Now, when it says the spirit is broken, what he means is the string snaps. The spirit, that's the wellspring of life.
That is the true inner man, and when that spirit is broken, the zest, the enthusiasm, the spark, the thrill, the fight is gone out of life. Now, you'd better, dear friend, know that having a merry heart is wonderful medicine. A merry heart is the sign of happiness. Now, happiness and joy are not the same thing, but they are related, they're first cousins. Joy is that constant presence of God no matter what happens, but a merry heart is the ability to capture and enjoy those wonderful times of life and let it turn to laughter. Wyndham said that laughter is the mind sneezing.
I like that. You know that there are three things that animals don't do that human beings do? Animals don't blush.
Man's the only animal that can blush if you call him an animal and he's the only one that needs to. Second thing animals don't do, they don't cry. Animals don't weep. No animal weeps. You might think your dog is weeping. That's just matter in his eyes.
That's all that is. Dogs don't cry. Third thing animals don't do is they don't laugh.
They don't blush. They don't weep and they don't laugh. That tells me that man made in the image of God reflects the character of God and God is a God of joy and laughter is a gift from God. Now, there's nothing wrong with laughter. As a matter of fact, laughter comes innately. You don't have to teach children to laugh. You have to teach children when not to laugh and if you really have the joy of the Lord in your heart, it's going to show up on your face.
Look at it again. A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance. What's another word for a cheerful countenance? It's a smile. Let me read something about a smile.
This was written by an anonymous author, but I think it is incredible. It costs nothing but creates much good. It enriches those who receive it without impoverishing those who give it away.
It happens in a flash, but the memory of it can last forever. No one is so rich that he can get along without it. No one is too poor to feel rich when receiving it. It creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business, and is the countersign of friends. It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something of no earthly good to anyone until it is given away willingly. I love that. Hey, listen, folks. When you dress up in the morning, don't forget to put on a smile and don't be ashamed of your sense of humor. Listen, your sense of humor is a gift from God, and it has been documented. I mean psychologically documented that laughter along with a well-rounded sense of humor is one of the sure signs of intelligence.
So now everybody's going to go around smiling. Listen, I'm not talking about unwholesome laughter. I'm not talking about cheap, coarse, degrading humor. The Bible warns against that. The Bible says in Ephesians 5, verse 4 that we are warned against filthiness and foolish talking and jesting, which is not convenient.
Crude jokes, sexual innuendos, and all of these things, they have no place. But good, wholesome laughter is a gift from God, and Abraham Lincoln said one time that God must have meant for us to laugh, or else He would not have made so many mules and parrots and monkeys and human beings. God wants us to laugh. God gave Sarah a little child, and God taught Sarah to name that child Laughter.
We call his name Isaac, but the name Isaac means Laughter. Genesis 21, verse 6, And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that will hear will laugh with me. Laughing at what God did when he gave that home, a little boy that brought such joy that they called his name Laughter. Here's a verse on laughter I want you to put down. Luke, chapter 6, and verse 21.
Jesus is looking at people who are downtrodden and sorrowful, and he says, Blessed are ye that hunger now, for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now, for ye shall laugh. That's what Jesus said, ye shall laugh. Yes, there's a time to weep.
We don't have to go around like sanctified buffoons and morons with no serious thoughts. There's a time to weep. But my dear friend, you had better put some Laughter in your home, and especially when times get tough. Laughter is God's way just to break the tension. When the string gets too tight, God here speaks of a merry heart. Again, he says a merry heart does good like a medicine. I thought to myself, well, I'll illustrate this about some Laughter in our home, and I said, where would I start?
There's nowhere to start. I mean, it's everywhere, all of the time, and I thank God for that. I was thinking of the kind of a home I was raised in. When I was a kid, I was raised in a home where constantly we were laughing, and home was the most fun place to be that I knew of. I remember down there in Florida one time we had one of those great hurricanes that came through West Palm Beach, Florida. I mean, it was a time when my dad was out with the rest of the men. They were nailing up shutters and boarding up the houses and trying to keep everything we had from blowing away. All of the power lines had been blown down. There was no electricity.
We were in the dark. My dad came in. His hair was blown. He was soaked to the bone.
He came into the kitchen. I was a little fellow just watching my dad and wondering really how serious the situation was, you know, kids key on their parents. And my dad came in, and his shoulders were drooped a little. He was so tired.
As a young man then, I was just a very little boy. He said to my mama, I'd give $5 for a cup of coffee. Well, the electricity was off and everything, and he just opened the tap and put some water in and turned on the stove. The gas wasn't off.
He'd forgotten that. I mean, she turned on the stove. We had a gas stove, and she made him a cup of coffee. And I watched my dad reach in his pocket and pull out $5 and give it to my mama. And I, just as a kid, and they both just laughed. I mean, right in the middle of the storm, I just watched them sit down.
My dad gave mama $5 and sat down and drank that cup of coffee. There was nothing about that that just made a hurricane not seem important at all. Just that act of humor, just that goodwill. Here they are just laughing in the face of the storm. It wasn't to say that they didn't think the storm was important.
It wasn't to say that there may be some danger. But it was just something to a little boy's heart to say, you know, God's in control, and mom and dad can just laugh in the face of the storm. And if in your home you have tension, God will help you to learn what he says here.
A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. You see, a good laugh is just sunshine in the home. Three things you ought to give to your children.
Life, love, and laughter. And I can give you three simple rules for raising kids. Be fair, be firm, and be fun.
That just about sums it up. Just be fair, be firm, be fun. That will take the tension out of this awful, awful world that we live in today. Number two, number two, not only learn to laugh, but number two, cultivate contentment.
Cultivate contentment. Look if you will now, beginning in verse 16. The Bible says, better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
What is this talking about? Well, our Lord is just telling us that so many of us are uptight because our value system is wrong. We always think we have to have more and more and more. We think that the house, the gourmet food, the toys, the travel, these things are going to bring happiness.
But many times, the striving for these things is what brings tension into the home. I am not saying that you can't be rich and have love. Some of the sweetest homes I know of have all of those things and love included. And if you've got it, I'm so grateful for you and it's a gift of God and enjoy it. God gives us richly all things to enjoy.
I'm not against you having nice things. But I'm just saying, dear friend, you better get your value straightened. You better find out what really matters. Listen, better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith.
Better is a vegetable plate where love is than filet mignon. That's what this verse is saying here in verse 17. Get your value system straightened out. You beware of the tyranny of things. Listen to 1 Timothy chapter 6, verse 6. But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into this world and it is certain that we can carry nothing out.
And having food and clothes, let us therewith be content. But they that will be rich. It doesn't say they that are rich. But those who have set their mind on being rich, those who will to be rich, have you ever done that?
Mister, you are in great danger. They whose determination is to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and into many foolish and hurtful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil. He doesn't say money is the root of all evil. It is the love of money which is the root of all evil. Cultivate contentment.
Cultivate contentment. The love of money is the root of all evil. That literally means all kinds of evil, which while some covet it after, they have erred from the faith and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Oh, look back at chapter 15, if you will. Proverbs, and look in verse 6. In the house of the righteous is much treasure, but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble.
Look, if you will, in chapter 15, verse 27. He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house. You girls who are not yet married, let your pastor give you some advice.
It's far better to marry a man who's worth a million that doesn't have a cent than to marry a man who has a million not worth a cent. You find out what the character of that man is. See if he loves God. Listen, godliness with contentment is great gain.
Having food and clothing be content. That doesn't mean that you can't try for more. It doesn't mean that God doesn't want you to prosper.
The Bible says God takes pleasure in the prosperity of his servants, but you learn to be content with whatever you have and praise God, and if you don't, I can tell you before long the string is going to snap, and that big house won't mean anything to you. Not a thing. or pray for others. This resource is one of our favorite ways to keep the ministry and the community praying continually for one another's needs. Let us hear from you today. Go to lwf.org slash radio and scroll down to our prayer wall. Well, thank you for studying in God's word with us today. Be sure to sign up for our daily heartbeat emails, and you'll get daily devotions and message links sent straight to your inbox. You can find that at lwf.org slash radio, and join us tomorrow for the conclusion of When the String Snaps, right here on Love Worth Finding. .
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