How to Be the Child of a Happy Mother

Do you struggle with the demand to be a perfect parent? Listen should reverence your parents.

Welcome to Love Worth Finding. Pastor, teacher, and author Adrian Rogers said, the closest thing to God's love is the love of a mother. In Exodus chapter 20, we're instructed to honor our father and mother, that our days may be long upon the land which the Lord our God is giving us. Following this command is how we express our love to the ones who raised us.

If you have your Bible, turn now to Exodus chapter 20 and look at verse 12 as Adrian Rogers reveals how to be the child of a happy mother. This is the fifth commandment and God gives the 10 commandments and he puts the 10 commandments into two categories. The first four commandments deal with our relationship to God. We call those the vertical commandments.

Then the last six deal with our relationship to one another. And it is interesting that God starts the last of these six with our relationship to our parents. But we can understand that because the faith that doesn't begin at home, it really doesn't begin. If you can live for Jesus at home, you can live for Jesus anywhere. Amen? And friend, if you can't live for Jesus at home, it really doesn't matter where you try to live for the Lord Jesus.

The faith that doesn't begin at home, it just simply doesn't begin. And so our Lord tells us that we're to honor our father and our mother. They're the first people we meet. And so we're to learn to honor them. If we can't honor our father and our mother, how can we honor strangers? And later on He's going to tell us such things as don't steal, don't kill, don't commit adultery. But before He tells us those things, He tells us to honor father and mother.

And so I am concerned that in America we see the thing of a Christian home, a God-centered home, a nuclear family as an institution quickly receding over the horizon. There's a man named Edward Gibbon who wrote a book called The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire. And he listed five reasons that ancient Rome fell.

I'm going to read those to you, and it might just cause a chill to go up your spine. Number one, the undermining of the dignity and sanctity of the home. Number two, increasing taxes and spending of public money for bread and circuses. Number three, the mad craze for pleasure when the real enemy is the, excuse me, the mad craze for pleasure with sports becoming more exciting and more brutal. Next, the building of gigantic armaments when the real enemy is the decadence of the people. And last of all, the decay of religion with faith fading into mere form.

Isn't that something? The rise and the fall of the Roman Empire. Maybe someday some historian will write The Rise and the Fall of the Empire.

The American Empire. Well, God commands us to honor mothers, and I want to talk to you today about how you can be the child of a very happy mother. Now, I'm going to be talking about both parents, but primarily the emphasis here is on mother. Number one, if you want to have a very happy mother and very happy father, you should obey them when you are young. Now, the Bible teaches us to obey our parents. Colossians chapter 3 verse 20, listen to this scripture. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Now, we live in a day where everything around our home is run by switches except the children. Children, obey your parents.

Dwight Moody was the Billy Graham of his day, and Dwight Moody said this, I've lived over 60 years, and I have learned one thing if I have learned nothing else. No man or woman who dishonors father or mother ever prospers. Now, if you are a child, a young child, I want you to be very much aware of the grave sin of disobedience.

It's not a weakness. It is an horrible wickedness. As a matter of fact, it's a crime worthy of death if we lived in a theocracy. Romans 1 verses 28 and following, listen to this. God speaks of a society on its last legs, and God says this, and even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind. Would you like to hear the description of a reprobate mind?

Okay, listen. To do those things which are not convenient, being filled with all unrighteousness, now listen to this list, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity, whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, and here it comes, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful, who, knowing the judgment of God that they which do such things, listen to this, are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. Now what does that mean, they have pleasure in them that do them? Well, they get their jollies from watching people do these things. As a matter of fact, that's what I just read to you is probably the sum total of most modern American entertainment.

Turn on the television any time and you'll see a litany of all of these things, that's what we have pleasure in. Now God lists, God lists disobedience to parents with fornication and idolatry and sexual perversion. God says that a person who is disobedient to his parents spiritually is worthy of death. Do you know what God says a sign of the last days is?

One of the signs of the last days is this, children who are disobedient to their parents. Put this scripture down, 2 Timothy chapter 3 verses 1-5, this know also that in the last days perilous times shall come. Now the gospel was never meant to save civilization from wreckage. The gospel was meant to save men from the wreckage of civilization. So don't get the idea that the gospel has failed because perilous times are here. As a matter of fact, the perilous times that we're living in are proof positive that the Bible is the Word of God for the Bible prophesied it.

In the last days perilous times shall come for men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, now here it comes again, listen to it, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, that literally means without family love, that's what that literally means, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof. If you claim to be a Christian and you're disobedient to your parents, all you've got is a form of godliness. You don't have the real thing. You don't have the real thing.

Friend, that's black print on white paper. As a matter of fact, to be disobedient to your parents is to invite the sure judgment of God. But contrary wise, to obey your parents is to invite the blessing of God.

Listen to this scripture, Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 through 3. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother. Now, here in the Ten Commandments, we're told to honor our father and mother.

Here in the book of Ephesians, we're told how to do it. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with promise. God gave the Ten Commandments, but with this one, he gave a promise, that it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth. Now, you want to live long?

You want to prosper? Then learn to honor your father and your mother. You'll learn character when you do that. You'll learn self-control when you obey your parents. You will receive God's blessing.

You will receive God's protection. Well, Pastor, what if my parents command me to do something that is wrong? Should I obey them?

Well, no. Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1 says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord. No child should ever willingly disobey a correct command of Almighty God. There is a higher principle that we must obey God rather than men. But a child should be extremely careful that he or she obey parents except when a command from a parent would come in direct conflict with Almighty God.

Of course, a small child is not able to discern between the difference, a very small child. And then God holds the parent responsible, not the child, if the parent commands the child to do something that is wrong. But I want to tell you something, that disobedience is a grave, grave sin in the sight of Almighty God. And if you are a child here today living at home, I want to tell you as solemnly as I can tell you, you will be wise to obey your parents. As a matter of fact, perhaps there ought to be a sign put in your bedroom that says, Warning, disobedience to your parents could be dangerous to your health. You are to obey your parents. Now that may be old-fashioned, but the Bible says, Children, obey your parents.

That's one way to honor them. Number two, you should care for your parents when they are old. Now, the Bible teaches this. As a matter of fact, in heathen cultures, people sometimes fail to care for their older parents. They leave them out to die, and yet we as a society are becoming more and more hardened and more and more heathen, and we're becoming hard-hearted toward our older parents. Now, our parents loved us in spite of our faults. I know my parents love me in spite of my faults, and I have to love my parents if they have faults. If I have to carry my parents, they carried me.

If I have to feed them, they fed me. Now, the Bible says if you don't take care of your parents when they're old, not only are you a hypocrite, you are worse than an infidel. Listen to 1 Timothy 5, verse 8, But if any provide not for his own, especially those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. You don't even come up to the level of being an infidel if you don't take care of your own. Now, many times we use this verse to say that parents ought to take care of their children, but that's not what this verse means. It says that children ought to provide for their parents. If any provide not for his own, especially those of his own household, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. That's the reason I say the religion that doesn't begin at home doesn't begin. 1 Timothy 5, verse 4, But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn, that is the children and the nephews, first to show piety at home, and to requite their parents, for that is good and acceptable before God.

I'm going to tell you, and it may hurt your feelings, but if it does, you can come up and apologize to me after the message. But if you're not taking care of your parents and loving your parents, I don't care how you sing this morning, I don't care how much you say amen, or what you put in this offering plate, you've departed from the faith, you're worse than an infidel, and if your religion doesn't start at home, friend, it just simply doesn't start. How can you honor your father and your mother? Number one, you should obey them when you're young.

Number two, you should care for them when they are old in their old age. Number three, you should honor them at all times. Now, when the Bible says here, honor your father and your mother, the word honor comes from a word that means to add weight to. What that literally means is to take your parents seriously, to add weight and dignity to who they are. Let me mention some ways now that you can give them honor. I want to mention three or four of them, maybe more. But listen, number one, show them respect.

I don't care who they are, you must always show respect to your parents. I'm going to list some verses, you jot them down. Leviticus chapter 19 verse 3, ye shall fear every man, his mother, and his father, and keep my statutes.

I am the Lord your God. Now, the word fear here is the same word that we use for the fear of God. It means reverence. You'd have reverenced your parents. Leviticus 20 verse 9, for everyone that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He hath cursed his father or his mother, his blood shall be upon him. Now, some of you youngsters ought to be aware of the fact that if you lived in Old Testament times, you still wouldn't be living because you have cursed your father or your mother. Proverbs chapter 30 verse 17 puts it in a euphemistic way. The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it.

Now, God is using figurative speech here. But God is saying it is a terrible thing not to show reverence to your parents. Or you say, Pastor Rogers, what if my parents are not worthy of respect and reverence? May I say that only perfect children can demand perfect parents. Now, I know that your parents are not perfect. My parents were not perfect. And two of the most difficult times of life are middle age and teenage.

Why God put those together, I'll find out when I get to heaven. Now, listen, your parents are not perfect. But you should reverence your parents. Now, in our home, we had very few rules. But some of the rules we had, we did not bend. One of the rules, perhaps number one, no disrespect to parents.

We just did not tolerate none. Now, if anybody ever got away with disrespect, my children would get away with and very seldom they ever did, if ever, get away with disrespect to me, but never to their mother, never to their mother. I would be on them like that if I saw one of my children disrespect their mother.

I'll tear up when I think about it. I have seen that woman sacrifice for them. She went down into the valley of the shadow of death to bring them into this world.

I've seen her do without, to love, to pray, to care. How dare, how dare a child disrespect that mother? Now, we're to honor them. And one way we do is to show respect. Number two, express gratefulness. Give them thanks. Children, learn to develop the attitude of gratitude. I'm not a Shakespearean scholar, but one thing Shakespeare said that's oft been quoted and well worth quoting is this, how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child. Have you thanked your parents for all that they've done?

As a matter of fact, you say, well, my parents discipline me too much. Thank them for that? I spoke to a grown man, a very prosperous businessman who became a Christian. He told me that he had witnessed to his father over and over again, but his father would not listen to the witness.

This man tried to win his father to Christ. He said, one day, God gave me some wisdom. I sat down and I wrote my father a letter, and I thanked my dad for everything he had done for me, for the food, the care, the tuition, the home, everything that he'd done. I thanked him for the fishing trips. I thanked him for the bicycle. I thanked him for the care. I thanked him for the advice. I thanked him for all of the things that my father had done for me.

Put it in a letter and signed it. My father read that letter. He said, the next time I talked to my father about Jesus, just like that, he gave his heart to Christ.

He gave his heart to Christ. Just like that. How we need to learn to give thankfulness to our parents. Now, third, I'm talking about ways to honor them. I'm saying, friend, show them respect. Express gratefulness. Listen to their counsel. Listen to their counsel. Proverbs chapter 1, verses 8 and 9, my son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother, for they shall be an ornament of grace upon thy head and chains about thy neck.

He's talking about a chain of gold around your neck. Someone as well said at 16, a boy's not sure about his parents. At 19, he feels he's passed them up. At 22, he has completely outgrown them. At 30, he remembers they were right about a lot of things. At 40, he decides they were just about perfect. Isn't that true?

Listen to the counsel. The older you get, the smarter your parents will get. And you're going to understand they were not as dumb or out of it as you think. Now, why is that? Your parents have an advantage on you. You think that perhaps those of us who are mature and old, that we don't know what the situation is.

Yes, we do. You see, David said, once I was young, now I'm old. All you can say is, once I was young.

Think about it. We've been there where you are, but you haven't been where we are. Now, if we're going to travel, for example, from Memphis to Phoenix. And let's suppose Joyce and I get in our car and we start out and we go to Phoenix. And then later on, we call back Steve, Gail, Janice, David. They're going to go to Phoenix. We can say, kids, let us tell you something.

There's a bad part of Interstate 40 that you want to stay away from because they're doing a lot of work. There's a scenic route you might take. Also, we found a terrific restaurant, thus and such a place. And we can just tell them all this. Does that mean we're smarter than they are? No. We've just been further down the road. Isn't that right?

Further down the road. How wise we would be to listen to our parents who love us enough to die for us. And we need to heed their counsel.

Listen to their counsel. Number four, live a life that will bring honor to them. Listen to Proverbs 23, verses 24 and 25. The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice. And he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bear thee shall rejoice. Live in such a way as to make your parents stick out their chest a little bit, not in bad pride, but say, thank God for my children.

You see, children are an extension of the parents. When I see my children do something good and godly and worthy, that gives me such great joy. I have no greater joy than to see my children walk in the truth. And one of the great joys of my life before my parents went to heaven was to do something that would cause them to rejoice and to say, Adrian, we're proud of you. I'm so grateful for that. Last of all, in honoring your parents, show your parents love.

It's really the sum total of everything else that I've told you. Show them love. Think of what you owe to your parents. They gave you life. Their blood flows through your veins. Did you know that the closest thing to God's love is the love of a mother? I'm just convinced of that.

The closest thing to God's love is the love of a mother. Why don't you sit down and write a letter to your mother, to your father, and tell them, like my friend told his dad, how grateful you are for them? I'll tell you one thing. They will read it over and over and over again. And when they die and you're going through their things, you'll find that letter tucked away in their possessions. Sit down and write them a letter. Pay that visit. Make that phone call. Send that gift.

Do that extra special little chore for your mother, your father. Show them genuine affection. They want hugs.

They want kisses. And listen to me. Do it soon. Now, when they die, you'll want to have just the finest kind of funeral for them. And you'll want special flowers.

But dead noses smell no roses. If you're going to do it, do it. Rather than saying, I wish that I had. Show love and respect if your parents are living.

And if your parents are not living, give them honor and thank God for their memory. A special word from Adrian Rogers as we close the program today. We want to hear how the ministry and the messages of Pastor Rogers have inspired you in your faith journey. If you can, go to lwf.org slash my LWF story. You can submit your testimony there or read others who've shared their stories with us. We often select stories to be shared throughout our love worth finding community, and we always will protect your privacy if that's what you desire. We can't wait to hear from you.

Again, go to lwf.org slash my LWF story today. Now, if you'd like to order a copy of today's message, call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD and mention the title, How to Be the Child of a Happy Mother. This message is also part of the insightful Fortifying Your Family series.

For that complete collection, all six powerful messages, call 1-877-LOVEGOD or order online at lwf.org slash radio, or you can write us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. Do you obey and honor our Heavenly Father, showing respect, gratitude, and love? If your parents are living, show love and respect today.

If your parents have passed, give them honor and thank God for their memory. We hope you'll join us next time for more from Adrian Rogers right here on Love Worth Finding. As a pastor, teacher, and author, Adrian Rogers had two great passions, introducing people to Jesus Christ and encouraging believers toward a deep abiding love for God's word.

He taught that Christians who are saturated in scripture are unstoppable. That's why we're so excited to announce that this summer, the Adrian Rogers Legacy Bibles will be in stock. Now featuring large print and red lettering, this New King James Version Bible includes sermon notes and treasures from the Love Worth Finding archives, as well as Adrianisms, quips and quotes from Pastor Rogers' unique style. It's our prayerful desire at Love Worth Finding that this Bible will draw you nearer to Christ, bringing you great joy and bringing glory to his name. To purchase a copy of the Legacy Bible, call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD or go to lwf.org.