Love One Another - How to Love Those Who are "Different", Part 1

Have you ever wished that someone could look behind the smile, the look, the clothes, and see who you really are?

And then after they saw it, they would look you right in the eye and say, I like you. I accept you. Wouldn't that be great? Well, that's exactly what Jesus commands us to do, and he teaches us how to do it. Stay with me, and let's learn together. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The mission of this daily program is to intentionally disciple Christians through the insightful Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. And we're in the middle of his series Love One Another for the past handful of programs we've learned about Christ's powerful command to love and how we can develop deep, intentional connections with others. Today, Chip will dive into Romans chapter 15 and reveal what the apostle Paul teaches us about accepting others as they are without judgment. So grab your Bible as we join Chip for his talk, How to Love Those Who Are Different. I don't think there's anybody here who wouldn't deny that the greatest teacher that ever lived, the person who's impacted history more than all others, is the person of Jesus.

Not just by how he lived, and not only by the resurrection, but his teaching. And the last night before he died, he summed up his teaching, and he said, a new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another just as I have loved you. So love one another. By this, all men will know that you're really my disciples.

The trouble with words like love over centuries is little by little by little they get watered down. So we want to talk about what's it look like day in and day out to love one another in his body, the supernatural community. Someone sent me an email this weekend. Let me share it with you. It's a story, true story, of a situation in a church.

It has to do with loving people. His name's Bill. He has wild hair, wears a t-shirt with holes in it, jeans, no shoes. That was his wardrobe for all four years of college. He happened to be a very bright young man, kind of esoteric, very, very smart. And while in college, on a major college campus, he became a Christian. Across the street from the campus was a very well-dressed, very conservative church. They wanted to develop a ministry to college students, didn't know exactly how to go about it. Well, one day in his t-shirt with holes, no shoes, jeans, and wild hair, Bill walked across the street and decided he'd go to church. It's a popular church. Good things were happening in it. As Bill walked in, I mean, the place is absolutely packed. It's a church from a kind of a higher tradition so that there were nice carpet, people were dressed in three-piece suits, all the ladies had very nice dresses on, many had hats on.

Sunday best. Bill came in toward the back of the auditorium and he looked and he couldn't find a seat. And you can just visualize in your mind, he's walking down the middle aisle toward the pulpit, looking for a seat, looking for a seat, can't find one.

He gets all the way to the bottom. He's now at the first row, right in front of the pulpit. This place is packed.

This is exciting. And so Bill did what he did at the college fellowship. He looked around, wasn't a seat, got right in front of the first pew, and sat down on the floor, crossed his legs. Now as Bill was walking down that aisle, he caught the notice of a few people.

Wild looking hair, holes in his t-shirts, no shoes. He's a brother in Christ, but they don't know that. And most people didn't come to this church just like that. And so there's a stillness that comes over the place, and they're wondering what's going to happen, who's going to step in, what should we do, what's going to go on.

An old deacon in the back, 80 years old, silver hair, three piece suit, pocket watch, complete with chain, elegant, godly, sterling reputation in the church. He's 80 and all you can hear, dead silence, is him walking down and the click of his cane, walking down and the click of his cane. And everyone's thinking, well, you know, he's got to do what he's got to do.

And this is understandable. I mean, this guy obviously doesn't know. He's never been here. He doesn't know what we do and how we do it. You can't sit on the, you know. So the pastor gets up to begin teaching and he realizes, you know, until this little scenario in front of me gets solved, I can't preach. So everyone's waiting.

Click, step, step, click, step, step. He finally gets to the very front and you can actually, can't even hear people breathe. It gets so quiet. This very, very old godly gentleman reaches over and whispers something to the man on the floor. And he slides over.

The man with great effort takes his cane and puts it down and then with even greater effort makes his way and sits on the floor next to him. And said, I didn't want you to worship alone. The place was just stunned emotionally.

The pastor had the good sense not to try and start his message the way he should have or had planned. And he looked down at the front row and he said, what I'm about to teach you will all forget. What you've just observed you'll never forget. Why? You know, wait a second.

What's so unusual about that? Didn't Jesus say accept one another? Didn't Jesus say love one another? Didn't Jesus welcome prostitutes and sinners and tax collectors?

Yeah, he sure did. But somewhere along the line in the church of Jesus Christ, when people act like Jesus and do exactly what he said, it looks pretty weird culturally, doesn't it? See, the culture of the average church and the culture of the average Christian has somehow over time eroded the most basic truth of the gospel. How in the world can you be connected?

How can we be a community? How can you love people if you can't look beyond the outside and accept them right where they're at and care about them? Larry Crabbe in his book Connecting, I mentioned it earlier, puts it this way. I've got the quote in the front of your teaching handout.

You might want to pull that out and follow along. As he goes and tries to get his arms around and his psychological jargon, which he uses, which is great, he describes genuine biblical acceptance in this way. He calls it connecting. He said, connecting is a kind of relating that happens when the powerful life of Christ in one person meets the good life of Christ in another.

That's what happened on the front row. What every Christian can pour into another is the powerful passion of acceptance. If you've got a pen, underline what every Christian, not some Christians, not super Christians, what every Christian can pour into the life of other Christians is the powerful passion of acceptance. Where does it come from? A passion that flows out of the center of the Gospel.

A passion that fills the heart of God. We're going to talk about what it means to accept one another. We can't love. We can't be connected.

We can't be a supernatural community. We can't be a testimony of the reality of Christ unless we accept one another. I want to spend all of our time actually talking about what it looks like to accept one another. When you take a word like acceptance or if you want to look at the word love and you want to do a Bible study on it, what I want to do is model for you some practical methods of how to study the Bible.

As you open the handout, notice it says, what does it mean to accept one another? When you want to study something in the Scripture, first start with the meaning of the word and I'll give that to you. I did a little word study is what it's called. The way you do that is you get a good Bible dictionary.

If you're just starting, Vines would be a good one. If you're down the road, you might look at something called Colin Brown and if you're a real scholar, there's a work called TDNT and you can look at it in the original languages. But you want to study the meaning of the word. Next then, now you know what this word means, then you move and you study the word, the meaning from the context. In other words, this comes out of Romans chapter 15 verse 7, accept one another just as Christ accepted us to bring glory to God. And so you want to look at what do verses one through six say before seven gets there. The next level you want to go to is you want to move and say, how is this word used in the New Testament? And I'll do that for you. And then finally, after you have a broad scope of what the word means, what it means in the context, what it means in the New Testament, then you take it and you place it back in the text where you're looking at it and say, okay, what does this mean right here? Now, I'd like to say that we could take about 30 or 40 minutes and I could walk through this very slowly.

It'd be a lot of fun. And we do that in some of the Tuesday electives and some other classes and Bible study courses. What I'm going to do, though, is I'm going to skip all that and I'm just going to give you the fruit of my study. And so I'll just highlight what I learned. But I want you to understand this is how to go through the process.

It's a phenomenal way to study the Bible and a great way to really get a grasp of what God's saying. So let's start first with the meaning of the word. The meaning of the word to accept literally means to receive.

It's only found grammatically in what's called the middle text, tense. And what that has to do is it has a little prefix on it and it's found in a tense that means that we actively are to receive another person. And so it has the idea of to warmly welcome someone, not just generically, but warmly welcome them to yourself. I summarized all the different words and things I could do by this concept to grant admission into your heart. When the Bible says accept one another, what it really means is look beyond any preconceived notion, look beyond anything physical in appearance, look beyond just a superficial nod intellectually, and to accept them means to admit admission, receive into your heart. You are willing and open to build relationship.

That's what that 80-year-old man did with the hippie on the front row. Second, the meaning from the context. As you would read chapter 15, in fact you can open your Bible, I'll just read through the first six verses. Listen carefully as I read, and what you'll see is the context is about edification, it's about building up one another, it's about the source of encouragement, it's about perseverance in the Christian life, it's about unity, and then it crescendos in verses 5 and 6 about worshiping God.

And then what we're going to learn is that all those different things that are happened and are to happen relationally are contingent upon verse 7, which is acceptance. It says, we who are strong ought to bear with the failings or the weaknesses of others and not simply to please ourselves, verse 1 of chapter 15. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good.

Why? To build him up or edify him. For here's our example, even Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, quote Psalm 69, the insults of those who insult you have fallen upon me. For everything that was written in the past, Old Testament, was written to teach us so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

Then he prays for them. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus. Purpose.

Why? So that with one heart and with one mouth you may glorify God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now, I've got it in the NIV, and so there's a little phrase left out. There's a therefore or a wherefore right before, accept one another just as Christ has accepted you in order to bring glory to God. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and before he continues our series Love One Another, have you ever questioned your life's purpose because your job, talents, and personality don't quite match up? Join us after the teaching as Chip introduces a resource we have that will help you appreciate how God's designed you and show you how to harness the exceptional gifts he's blessed you with. Stick around to learn more.

Well, with that, here's Chip to continue today's message. So what I want you to understand, this idea of acceptance is to have admission, to warmly receive another, and to be an active participant to draw people into your world. It doesn't mean you agree with them, doesn't mean you approve of what they do, but it means you accept them.

That's the meaning of the word. The context, it flows out of the life relationships in the church of encouragement and perseverance and of our worship, and it says it can't happen unless we first accept one another. In the New Testament, it shows up in a number of different places, and the reason you need to do this is because it'll give you little pictures, because it's translated acceptance here, but for example, Romans 14, 1 to 3, the issue is about Christians getting along with one another that come from different backgrounds, and the idea will be used to teach them this word, acceptance, has to do with literally admitting others into the fellowship who think differently about the faith than you do. In Acts 18, 26, it'll have the idea to welcome into your heart and into your home in order to build upon the grace and the goodness that you see in them.

In that case, it was Aquila and Priscilla who saw this new Christian Apollos, and as soon as he got done speaking, they accepted him, took him home, built upon the goodness and the grace and the gifts that they saw. In Mark 8, 32, the word is used and is translated taking aside. It's a negative passage.

It's where Peter takes Jesus aside and rebukes him. His message was wrong. His method was right.

He was accepting. He was protecting. He was guarding the dignity of Christ, and he thought, you know, Jesus maybe had a little too hard of a day, and this stuff about going to the cross and I must suffer, so Peter accepts, takes him aside in private, and he tells him, you know, Lord, you know, just had a bad day. This stuff about the cross, that's not it. Now, his message was really bad, and Jesus did not take him aside.

He publicly rebuked him. But what I want you to see here is that this concept of accepting goes well beyond an intellectual assent to, oh, I accept them where they're at. It's to admit them. It's to be active. It's to care.

It's to move into their life. It has to do with whether we're going to have real unity and real fellowship and real love for one another. Finally, when you look at the meaning of the text and write in chapter 15, verse 7, notice that the first portion is a command. This isn't like, do this if you're a super Christian. It's a command. Accept one another.

Secondly, notice that how it's to be done. Now we take the import of the meaning of that word, and you're to do it, and I'm to do it just the way Christ did. And as you study the life of Christ, you know what you learn? How did Jesus accept people? Jesus accepted people unconditionally and indiscriminately. Jesus was a human relational magnet.

Everywhere Jesus was, people were drawn to him. It didn't matter what their gender was. It didn't matter their race. It didn't matter their political persuasion.

It didn't matter if they were the worst of sinners. He was a magnet. Why was he a magnet? Why did everyone want to be around Jesus?

You know what? He didn't judge them. He didn't hear from other people and make opinions about them. He warmly welcomed sinners, letting them know that they mattered, and yet telling them truthfully, your sin is not acceptable.

He cared. Even though Jesus was better, you know? You ever heard that phrase, you know, he just thinks he's better than everybody else? Jesus was. He was better than everybody else. But he never treated anyone like he was better than them. He made every single person that came in contact with him feel like they really mattered, even though they didn't believe they mattered.

See, if you want to learn how to accept people, study the life of Jesus unconditionally. Now, did he approve of it all? No. Did he agree with what people were saying and doing?

No. But he always accepted. He admitted them warmly into relationship with him, and then he spoke the truth in love.

That's what we're to do. Now, let me stop here for just a second and say, why? Why is that so important? This phrase says Jesus did it in order to bring glory to God. What's glory to God?

That's literally to enhance someone's reputation. How did Jesus bring glory to God? The average person in that day and the average person in our day really thinks God has his arms crossed, is mad at the world, tapping his toe, waiting for people to mess up so he can bust them on the head.

Really? The average person doesn't believe God's on your team. The average person believes that, you know, you're not worthy of God, you've done… Of course he knows everything about you. Jesus brought glory to God and gave people an accurate picture of the Father. How? Very simply. He treated them the way the Father feels about them. Total, unconditional, indiscriminate acceptance. In a day when if you were a woman, you were a second-class citizen. If you were a slave, you were subhuman. In a day where if you were of this race instead of that race, they wouldn't even talk to you. In a day where a Gentile and Jew wouldn't even eat in the same house.

In a day when prejudice was rampant like it is today, Jesus unconditionally, indiscriminately, accepted each person and said, you matter to God. That's what he wants us to do. Now let me throw up a thought for you.

Just relax here for a second. I don't know about you, but my observations of my heart and my observations of people are that we spend untold amounts of energy, finances, and effort to get people to like us. Don't we? Don't you get up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, okay, now I'm going to be in this group and I'm going to go here and maybe not consciously, but at least unconsciously, I need to wear this so they'll like me. We spend incredible amounts of money and time to please other people.

We hate to be rejected. We have people in our society that will willingly get beat up on purpose so they can get the acceptance of a group. What's the group called?

A gang. We have people who spend money they don't have to get what? Acceptance from a group that if you drive this or wear that then you're in.

Now let's look at this just carefully because this is big. If you desperately need acceptance, and I desperately need acceptance, if we long to be loved and accepted for who we really are, not what we project or what we think might people think, and if God says through the person in the life of Christ that we're 100% accepted because of God's character and his work on the cross, and if you're a believer you're completely forgiven, you're completely secure, so you're accepted by God, and then if he commands you and commands me to accept each other the way we've been accepted, and I know everybody in the room needs it, I know I need it and I got it from Christ, and I'm commanded to give it to you. Here's the big question that puzzles me. Why don't we accept one another?

Right? Why don't we accept one another? Why do we judge by the exterior?

Why do we have rankings? Why are we prejudiced? Why do we show favoritism? Why do we not accept one another?

If I know I need it, you know you need it, if we can just pull the lid off this thing and realize we're all insecure, then it would seem to me that the safe environment that the church could provide is we could just be ourselves, accepted in him, accept one another, and there could be a supernatural community where people could grow and get love like nowhere else. Now we all agree with that intellectually, don't we? Here's the $64 question. Why don't we do it? This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and you've been listening to part one of Chip's message, How to Love Those Who Are Different, from our series Love One Another.

Chip will be back shortly to share some helpful application for us to think about. We live in a very divisive, disconnected society that impacts our workplaces, homes, and even our churches. But what if we truly embraced Jesus' command to love one another? Imagine the transformative effect this mindset could have on our families and communities. In this timely series, Chip explains how this instruction can become a reality in our world. Hear what the Bible says about loving others and the practical ways we can live this principle every day.

Don't miss a second of this series. Well, before we go on, our Bible teacher, Chip Ingram, is with me now to share something that's really close to his heart. Thanks so much, Dave. You know, one of the greatest needs, I mean, one of the most passionate desires that every human being has, is we want to belong. We want to know that we really fit. And the Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians, there is one body, but it has many parts.

What he's saying is there is that we belong to one another. We're a part of this supernatural community called the body of Christ, and we all play a different role. And the fact of the matter is, is that God has uniquely placed you in the body of Christ, where you help other people, and where they help you, and you actually make a difference. Unfortunately, I meet people all the time who are on the sidelines, and they say, well, I don't think I really have any gifts. I don't think I have anything to offer. I don't think God could really use me. You know, I just, those other people, and I'm sort of weighing in the background. When you're not involved, when you're not connected with the body, you'll never feel that sense of purpose and identity.

Here's the good news. We've created a resource called Your Divine Design that will help you on your own discover what your spiritual gift is, how to put it into action, and how to deploy it in the body of Christ. It's an easy read. It's very clear, and I really want you to get it.

What I know is this. There's all kind of needs in the body of Christ that God made you to fulfill if you just knew how He made you. And just this month, because we're a part of the body as well, every one of you who makes a financial donation, we will send this book to you absolutely free. We want you to feel apart. We want you to belong.

We want the body of Christ to thrive. Dave, could you give them the details about how to get that? Be glad to, Chip.

We'd love for you to join us and learn how to become a monthly financial partner by visiting LivingOnTheEdge.org or by calling 888-333-6003. And as Chip said, with your next gift, we'll send you a copy of Chip's insightful book, Your Divine Design, as our thanks to you. So go now to LivingOnTheEdge.org to learn how to give. App listeners, tap Donate, and we appreciate you doing whatever the Lord leads you to do.

Well, here again is Chip with some application from today's message. You know those words of Jesus that say, except one another, care for one another, see one another with colored blind eyes. Look at the heart. Look at the soul.

Look at people from within, not by the exterior, not by how they appear. You know, that makes great preaching, and we would all agree with that intellectually. But I got to tell you, it makes a better experience. Early on in the ministry of Living on the Edge, we had an opportunity here in the Bay Area to have a kind of a radio rally or outreach, and we teamed up with a great church, and they opened their Sunday night service, and people from all over the Bay Area came. And we took our worship band, and we did worship, and I got a chance to preach, and then I looked out over that audience. And I got to tell you, I was blown away. I saw Chinese and Cambodian and Korean and white and black, and it was multicultural to the max.

Maybe 20 percent of the people were Caucasian. And I thought to myself, what a beautiful picture of the body of Christ. And then we had a little reception afterwards.

Talk about accepting one another. And a Chinese girl came up in broken English and told me how God had changed her life because of the program. She heard God's word, and she heard that singleness was okay. It was a calling from God. And a young Korean seminary student was taking the messages and using the outlines and preparing for ministry with this big smile. And then a black lady came up to me, and she said, you know, the big impact of your whole program, and I'm expecting some great sermon. And she says, it's your wife's prayer life.

Every time you talk about her, it motivates me. And what I realized is that God doesn't look on the outside. And the beauty is when, by His grace, we get to not look on the outside but really accept one another. It's powerful.

It's powerful in us, and it's powerful through us. And you know what? That's what God wants you to do. He doesn't want you to look at people's exterior.

He wants you to look at their heart. What would it look like for you to do that today? Thanks, Chip. And as we close, would you pray for those feeling challenged to respond to Chip's words right now? There's always a spiritual struggle when we feel prompted to draw near to God.

Thanks for taking the time to do that. And if there's a way we can pray for you, let us know. Call 888-333-6003 or email Chip at LivingOnTheEdge.org. We'd love to hear from you. Well, thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Next time, we'll continue Chip's series, Love One Another. I'm Dave Druey, and I hope you'll join us then.