Leaving a Legacy that Lasts Forever - Teach Them to Suffer Well, Part 1

Let me ask you, how will your kids or your grandkids remember you? What will you give them that will last forever, that will never fade away? How do you leave a legacy that lasts forever?

That's today. Stay with me. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The mission of these daily programs is to intentionally disciple Christians through the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. And today he begins his series, Leaving a Legacy That Lasts Forever. Now, that may seem improbable, a legacy that lasts forever, but let me encourage you, it's not as impossible as it sounds. In the coming programs, Chip's going to highlight five biblical lessons we need to teach our kids that will help preserve our faith from generation to generation.

Now, let me tell you, many parents struggle to even talk about Jesus to their kids, let alone model godly behavior. So let me encourage you to invite a few couples to listen to the series with you, either through the Chip Ingram app or at livingontheedge.org. Chip's teaching will help you better engage your children and pass on these biblical life lessons. Okay, let's get going as Chip kicks off our series with his message, Teach Them to Suffer Well. Well, I want to start our little journey out together, if you will, with a hypothetical but morbid set of questions.

How's that? All right, it's hypothetical, but these are morbid questions. The hypothetical situation is this, but I want you to really do it with me. I don't want you to lean back and go, well, it's hypothetical. I want you to sort of engage and say to yourself, here's the hypothetical situation. If you knew with absolute certainty that you would die exactly 365 days from today, okay, have you got it? Exactly 365 days from now to the minute you would have a massive not painful heart attack and you would be dead and you would be translated, if you're a follower of Jesus, into the very presence of God.

With that as the hypothetical situation, I have three questions. Question number one, who are the top five people you feel most responsible to prepare for your passing? I mean, just quickly in your mind, who are the top five people you know 365 days from now you are going to be gone. So, who are the top five people that you need to prepare for your passing? Kids, grandkids, friends, people you're discipling, co-workers, I mean, who would it be?

You got it? Question number two, what would you want to pass on to them in the next 365 days to bless and promote their success after you're gone? And you got exactly 365 days to bless them, to help them, to prepare them, what do you want to pass on?

Wealth, wisdom, heirlooms, a business, an education, I mean, who are they? And you got 365 days, what do you want them to get that when you're dead you can say, well hey, you know, at least I gave them this, what is this? You ready for question number three? It gets more morbid. When you make them up yourself, you can make them as morbid as you want. Question number three, if you died exactly 24 hours from now instead of one year from now, what would you most regret that you did not pass on to those you love? I mean, you got thinking about who they are, you got thinking about what you really want to pass on, but then what if all the rules quickly changed? And instead of a year from now, 24 hours from now, you find yourself in Jesus' presence, that's the good news. But then when you look back and you said, when I think of my kids, when I think of this friend, when I think of this grandchild, when I think of this young man or this young woman I was discipling, when I think of this group of men that I was in accountability group with, when I was thinking about this women's fellowship I was in, you know, my biggest regret was I didn't pass on, what would it be?

What would it be? Here's the fact, the fact is you and I are passing on who we are and what we value and what we possess every single day. For some people this is a highly strategic, very intentional game plan that you're fulfilling. You know who the people are, you know what you want to pass on, you have a plan to pass it on, and you look at your calendar and your day timer and you are very strategically passing on the things that matter most to you. For most of the rest of us it's sort of a haphazard hoping for the best highway of sorts that you're kind of passing some stuff on but you're not really sure what you're passing on and it's filled with lots of good intentions and you're going to get real clear about it and more serious about it later and unconsciously you think you're going to live a lot longer than you are. And the average person will fail to pass on the things that matter most to the people they love the most. In reality most followers of Christ have given far more thought and energy into developing a game plan to transfer their wealth than they have their faith or their values. I mean I'm guessing I won't ask you to raise your hand I'm guessing most people have a will. I'm guessing most people have some sort of an estate plan.

Well why? Because you realize there's X amount of dollars and there's taxes and there's issues and you want to pass on some of that wealth to a friend or an organization or your kids or your grandkids and so you've thought what how much to whom and why and isn't it interesting that we're real concerned about who gets money but how concerned are we that they get our faith and that they get our values and they get the kind of stuff that money can't buy. Yet the Apostle Paul commands his son in the faith Timothy to do just that to pass on what matters most. Notice what he says in 2 Timothy 2 to the things you've heard from me. Timothy you've heard it in small group talk. Timothy you've heard me preach it. Timothy you've heard me face to face when I've had to say hard things to you. Timothy you've heard it in Ephesus.

Timothy you've heard it after I got up when I was beaten. Timothy the things you've heard from me in the presence of many witnesses in trust or pass on these two faithful men who be able to teach others also. He was talking about the principle of transfer.

He was talking in our day about sinking something. He was talking about look Timothy let me give you the picture. God has uploaded the truth of his spirit and these values in my life and my relationship with Christ and the application to every area and every relationship and it's been uploaded supernaturally by the Holy Spirit and the word of God and the community of the saints. I have a responsibility and Timothy the reason I ask you to hang out for me I'm downloading it into you and your soul. I want you now to upload it to get it practical and I want you to download it to others but not just anybody but to others who are faithful so that they will do what?

They'll download it to others. Transfer. Transfer.

Transfer. So let me ask you what are you going to leave your kids? What are you going to leave your friends? What are you going to leave the people that you disciple? What are you going to leave your grandkids? What are you going to leave your spiritual children? What are you going to leave your church?

And will it make them or break them? Will it give them what they need to make the kind of choices and the kind of decisions that will allow them to be God's man, God's woman in their generation? Will they have the values and the perspective and the faith and the regard and the view for God that will sustain them through a world that keeps getting crazier and crazier and crazier and more carnal?

Or will they sit in a little room and have someone pull out a little will and they'll read a few little lines and find out they got the grandfather clock, they got the earrings, they got 11.5 percent of the estate but they never really knew your heart. They never knew your passion for the word of God. They never knew the secrets you learned in your marriage. They never knew the forgiveness that you received after your abortion. They never knew what it was like to grow in Christ and what it was like to live with an ailing mate and to serve them and love them for years and where you got the strength.

See that's the stuff that will sustain and let you pass on. Apostle Paul talks a lot about life as a race. In 1 Corinthians 9 he talks about running a race and not wanting to be disqualified. When he gets to the very end of his life, 2 Corinthians chapter 4, he says, I have run the race, I fought the fight. And this picture of a race is not only just finishing well but Paul sees life as a relay race. And he sees that the relay race is the truth and the life of Christ deposited in him is like a baton that he has to pass on to the next runner. And if you're a sports, especially track and field, you realize that in terms of the track and field world nationals, we've had the fastest team twice. And we've dropped the baton in the Olympics in the 4x and then two years later they dropped the baton again.

And see that's where failure in the race usually occurs. It's in the exchange. And what we're going to talk about in our time together is what is it that really needs to be passed on and how practically do you pass it on to those that you love the most. And you see here it says five core values that we must pass on to the next generation. And I remember a very sobering moment. It was a number of years ago and some of you remember the Columbine shootings. And I was pastoring a church at the time in California.

It was growing very rapidly and lots of people were coming and I had kind of kids at all different age levels. And I remember thinking because of the nature of the people who committed those crimes and what happened, I remember asking myself what is it that I want to pass on to my kids and what is it that I want to pass on to the church that money could never buy. And I began to think and pray and by that time I'd been a Christian quite a few years and a pastor for a number of years. And I realized you know what at the end of the day it's not all these little rules or it's not how often they do this and it's not this external behavior and it's not how often they go to church. It's not if they just read their Bible here or if they do this or if they learn to give off the top.

All those are practical things. But what I realized is there are values. And if there was some core values that you could kind of upload in your heart from God and download into their hearts and they were really a part of who they were, you wouldn't have to worry about anything else. And as I began to pray and ponder that I realized what I really wanted to pass on to my kids, my grandkids, my friends, the disciples in the church. I want them to learn to suffer well. I want them to learn to work into the Lord. I want them to learn to manage their wealth wisely. I wanted to teach them to make wise decisions and I wanted to have them learn to live grace-filled lives. And I just can't wait to share those five things in our time and just not what they are but how do you pass them on. And so let's start with radical sustained change always begins with our thinking, not our behavior.

And I really want to emphasize this. In our day and especially among Christians, I think we have overemphasized behavior. And out of our fears, we want our kids or the person we're discipling or our grandkids or our friends or the people in the women's group or the men's economy group, their behavior, the behavior. What are they doing? What are they doing? What are they doing?

What are they doing? And somehow we get thinking if we can just get them reading the Bible and praying and giving and going to things and maybe even a short-term missions trip and we focus on this exterior. And by the way, no problem, all those things when done for the right reason are very, very, very wonderful conduits of grace. Lasting change always starts with your thinking, not your behavior. When the Apostle Paul wanted to teach about how lasting supernatural change occurs after 11 chapters of truth, he opens up Romans chapter 12 and says it begins with offering yourself as a living sacrifice and then he says don't be conformed any longer to this world but be transformed. It doesn't say by going to church more often. It doesn't say by trying harder.

It doesn't say by cleaning up your externals. But be transformed by the renewing of your mind. It's a change of perspective. It's realizing God's on your team. It's looking at sin differently. It's realizing that the things the world offers are cheap and insignificant and won't pay off and you agree with God about those things. He changes how you think.

And he says by the renewing of your mind and then you will test literally experience or approve what God's will is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect. And so what we're going to talk about and I just want to get this on the table early is this is not going to be a bunch of different things we can get people to start doing. Now they will do things but what you want to do is give them a new worldview. You want to give them a completely new perspective. You want them to think differently so it soaks from their head and concept about what the scriptures teach and who God is and who they are and their identity and how they think about values and money and people and relationships and sex and priorities. And what you want is to have a completely different worldview and a set of values that plant in their heart so they begin to live out of this identity in Christ and they own it for them versus external religious activities of trying to somehow please God and you know get a couple you know brownie points on that big refrigerator in the sky wherever it is.

And so that's what we're going to talk about. Transferable concept number one and this may sound strange but teach them to suffer well. Teach them to suffer well. We have raised a generation of people when they think of suffering the only concept they can think of is how to get out of it how to limit it and how to avoid it. And unfortunately it's not biblical and unfortunately it sets them up with really bad expectations. Let me give you a theology of suffering if you will it's you know I'll go through it rather quickly and in each time I'll give you the theology and then we'll talk about the practice but a theology of suffering goes something like this from scripture. Life is hard but God is good.

Okay life is hard. Your kids, your disciples, your grandkids, your friends, people in the ladies group they come to Christ something hard hits them gosh what's going on you think that life is hard. The very last thing Jesus said he could have said a lot of things John 16 33 in the world you will have tribulation trouble it's difficulty but I've overcome the world but we need to help people understand life is going to be hard and filled with trouble but God is good. John if you will Psalm 84 11 next in your notes to God is good. The Lord God is a son and a shield the Lord gives grace and glory no no good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly he has a good plan for us he loves us he's for us he delights to be generous to us but it's in the context of a difficult world. Second life is unjust but God is sovereign. Sovereign is the key word. Life's not fair but God's in control. Luke 13 you might jot down I mean a group of people came to Jesus and said hey what's going on here did you hear about this the tower of Siloam fell on this certain group of people and Jesus said well do you think they were more unrighteous than other people his point is it's a fallen world bad things are you ready for this non-christians get cancer ready for this Christians get cancer non-christians get hit by drunk drivers you ready Christians get hit by drunk drivers the economy caves in I don't know about you but I don't think was it isolated only non-believers 401ks are now 101ks right it's a fallen world but God's in control Romans 8 28 he will work all things together for good to who to those that are called to those that love him but the good isn't always external circumstances going your way the ultimate good is he'll use everything what to make you like a son because God's primary agenda is to make you holy not happy now there's a lot of happiness that comes with it let me give you the Old Testament roots of this it's Genesis 37 through 50 it's the story of Joseph now think about this there's 50 chapters in the book of Genesis this is the most foundational book of all of Scripture almost every major doctrine is introduced in Genesis it's the book of beginnings we get creation you know we get Abraham we get the entire line we get even early with Noah I mean you get all these thousands of years and yet 13 chapters that's over 25% it's about 28 plus percent of the entire book about one man why what is the story about it explains what happened between Genesis 1 & 2 & 3 in Genesis 1 & 2 we have a perfect world with a loving perfect God in a perfect environment that wants his best for his people and then we have a coup and there's a rebellion and this rebellion is God I don't want your way and there's a willful sin and so sin enters in though there's a it's called the Falls what theologians call it and so sin enters the human race and we have been a rebellious people ever since but God is a redeeming God so he takes Adam and Eve and gets them out of the garden and sets a guard so that they can't eat from the tree of life and be in this state permanently but now God in his sovereignty and in his love is going to orchestrate even through the bad decisions the ups and downs and the evil and the sin he wants to work for man's good and the life of Joseph is the story of how God works good in us and through us in the midst of a fallen world to bring about the highest and best for us and to accomplish his purposes and that's why for those of you that are still in the you know reading stories to your kids stage Joseph needs to be one of the most heroes in your home or you grandparents or those of you who are doing Bible study you need to early on get people identified with Joseph because guess what they're going to be sold into slavery of some kind they're going to get betrayed by someone they're going to have someone slander him they're going to be forgotten right isn't that all a part of life and you remember the very end of the story I call it the Genesis 50 20 principle Joseph is at the end remember God exalts him he becomes the ruler of all of Egypt he saves the nation of Israel he saves the chosen people he actually saves you know Pharaoh and Egypt and all the rest and then when dad dies his brothers still don't get you know what's going on and so when dad dies they start making up little stories this is a loose translation of the text this is a little engramism here so I mean basically they're thinking you know Joseph was really nice to us why dad was alive but now he's gone I think he's I mean we betrayed him we were thinking about killing him and we just you know sold him instead and we used him and abused him and I bet now he's going to get back at us and I just had this picture of Joseph leaning kind of on his staff and shaking his head and said guys you still don't get it do you Genesis 50 verse 20 as for you you meant this for evil but God meant it for good to bring about this present result and I think he's looking over the land to preserve many people alive so you got to teach your Bible study friends you got to teach your kids you got to teach your grandkids you got to teach him that you know what it's a fallen world life is hard life is unfair God is good God is in control and just like Joseph he will actually use the most painful difficult sinful injustice betrayal everything you go through to fulfill his ultimate purposes if you like Joseph say you know I don't always understand this but I'm not I'm not bailing out I'm going to trust God and you know what would be like that you know God gave him this dream this is what I'm going to do with you I'm just thinking when he's in that cell hey God where are you when he when he gets falsely accused of rape God where are you when he gets forgotten you know by the guys after he interprets the dream God where are you but he doesn't God I don't understand but I'm confident of this and he didn't have this verse but it's still true then but he began a good work in me will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus and so we need to have a clear picture the other biblical profile is Jesus and Peter gives us the explanation of Jesus' role in teaching us about suffering 1 Peter chapter 2 21 to 23 it says to this you were called put a circle in your notes around the phrase to this because I want you to think about what is the to this you're called to this whatever it is because Christ suffered for you leaving you an example that you should follow in a step so circle the word example and now you've got the answer to the to this you were called I was called to what to suffer what I thought we were if we believed in God and we loved him and we gave off the top and read our Bible in the morning and prayed real hard and we're you know nice to everybody and tried to be a good person that God was going to make our life work out and everything would be wonderful and we'd never get sick and we'd have more money and our kids would be upwardly mobile and someday some way we'd end up at Thanksgiving and sing Kumbaya with all the 11 grandkids you mean that's not the way it is no whatever part of that you get praise the Lord press ahead I'm glad for you God didn't promise it here's what he promised to this you were called because Christ suffered for you leaving you example that you should what observe it and wonder what to say that you should follow in his steps and then by the way when you think it's unfair just so you get the story he committed no sin and no deceit was found in his mouth what's the point he's absolutely innocent I'm not and you're not I mean a lot of the suffering I get cuz I'm stupid and sinful I've made dumb decisions and I've had sinful acts and part that's how I he didn't do anything wrong I mean I get upset when I feel like gosh I'm really innocent I'm getting a raw deal we did nothing wrong when they hurled insults injustice he didn't retaliate when he suffered he made no threats you do this I'll get you back I got a couple legion of angels guys you just wait I mean that wasn't it instead listen to what he did he entrusted himself to him who judges justly here's what here's what you gotta understand the model was it's not fair I'm being wrong I'm being betrayed I've done nothing wrong I'm not gonna retaliate I'm following and blazing a trail that I want you as my children my followers to follow with me and when you don't understand it and when it hurts and when it seems unbearable you entrust your soul to a faithful creator a Heavenly Father who's sovereign and good and all-wise and will bring about the best possible ends by the best possible means for the most possible people for the longest possible time it's a classic definition of the wisdom of God and who longs to bless and is the most generous being in the universe and who's going to orchestrate this present injustice suffering for your good and his purposes as you entrusted to him in the midst of your pain that's learning to suffer well that's commanded in God's Word you've been listening to part one of Chip's message teach them to suffer well which is from our series leaving a legacy that lasts forever Chip will be back with us in studio shortly to share some helpful application for us to think about we all want to leave an imprint on our families that will last long after we're gone but what exactly do you want them to remember well in this series Chip share some godly principles that will provide more for your kids than what money can buy hear what the Bible teaches about enduring hardships making wise choices and discovering your purpose so whether you're a parent grandparent or mentor Chip will help you share these lessons with the young people you love in a personal way to learn more about leaving a legacy that lasts forever or our resources visit Living on the Edge org that's Living on the Edge dot o-r-g our Bible teacher Chip Ingram is with me now and Chip we're just getting started in this series about building a godly legacy take a minute if you would and share with us where the idea came from and why it's vitally important for today's parents and grandparents well you know Dave this is one of the most unique series I've ever developed in my life and it will require a little bit of history some will remember a Columbine and Columbine was one of the very early first shootings in Colorado that started this just indiscriminate I mean high school kids going in to a school and shooting people and I remember the shock after that and then you know some of the theory in that day was it was lack of education and people were coming from tough backgrounds and that's the reason kids were acting out and Columbine destroyed all that what we realize these were affluent kids that had nice families plenty of clothes plenty of money had everything going for them and I remember doing a survey the week afterwards in our church at the time and wondering what is it that we're really passing on and I'll never forget having this moment because my kids some were pretty well grown and others weren't at all and me asking God I don't know how many years left what would I pass on to my kids more than any more than a great education more than a great job more than anything else in the world what do I want to pass on to my kids I remember leaning back and putting up my feet on my desk and I begin to pray and I begin to think and say Lord would you show me and literally I grabbed an envelope and on the back of the envelope I thought I need to teach my kids how to suffer well they're gonna suffer in life I need to teach them how to work unto the Lord I need to teach them how to make wise decisions I need to teach them that failure is never final and I came up with five things that I realized that you know I had done it a little bit here a little bit there and then I thought you know what my kids need a theology they need to understand what is important why it's important and then how to actually learn it and then I developed a series around those things that God has used with all kind of people but especially I think early on it was grandparents who thought I want to leave a legacy because I think that way and then I met parents who said wow I've been consumed with the right education they make the traveling team they get all these opportunities these are the things that will determine whether you're happy with your kids whether God's happy with your kids and whether they grow up and have the kind of life that we all dream they're gonna have so leaving a legacy that lasts forever is how we give our kids what money can't buy thanks chip and to help you get the most out of this series download chips message notes they're a great tool available for every broadcast they include his outline the scripture he references and some key fill-ins to help you remember and apply what you hear get them by going to the broadcasts tab at Living on the Edge org app listeners tap fill in notes well chip this first half of your talk on suffering was really tough to listen to I got to admit because you really challenged our approach to the pain and trials we experience in life so it's a place to wrap up what would you say to those feeling a little conflicted with how to handle and process what you focused on today I do understand that telling you that you need to help others learn to suffer well may sound a little bit crazy to our American ears but let me let me read a passage this was written in the first century it was written during a time when it was very difficult to be a Christian and this is a passage that is timeless not only for the church of the first century but for now and listen to what it says Peter would write dear friends do not be surprised at the painful trial that you are suffering as though something strange were happening to you but rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed if you are insulted because of the name of Christ you are blessed for the spirit of glory and of God rests on you not only is suffering normal not only are we called to suffer but he says don't be surprised and here's the deal as you're trying to pass on this to your kids obviously you and I we've got a model at first you want to pass it on to the guys of the gals in your Bible study but if we have this mindset and it's an American cultural consumeristic mindset that when something goes wrong God what's wrong you didn't show up you know I prayed I read my Bible you know I'm given to the missions fun and yet I lost my job and then we're not only surprised we get disillusioned let me encourage you to memorize 1st Peter chapter 4 verse 12 I had a number of situations happening around my life I wrote this first down 1st Peter 4 12 through 14 on a little yellow sheet and I have it in my Bible and I'm reading it over every morning so that I will stop being shocked we're surprised when things are difficult and realize you know what this is a part of being a follower of Jesus Christ in a fallen world and God will give me everything I need and so here's my prayer Holy Father will you help every single person listening to my voice to lean into the suffering to ask you for help to realize it's normal and to know that you'll work in them and through them as we trust you instead of whine and complain in Jesus name so are you ready let's ask God to make 1st Peter 4 12 how we respond every moment this week great challenge Chip thanks as we wrap up this program just a quick but important thought Living on the Edge depends on listeners like you to help us continue encouraging Christians to live like Christians so would you consider partnering with us every month so others can benefit from the ministry of Living on the Edge you can set up a recurring donation at Living on the Edge org or through the chip Ingram app or text donate to 741 41 it's that easy text the word donate to 741 41 and thanks for doing whatever the Lord leads you to do we'll join us next time as chip continues his series leaving a legacy that lasts forever until then I'm Dave Drury saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.