Social Restoration - Phase 3: Social Language, Part 2

If you are serious about changing your life and changing your relationships, you will have to learn to change your words. The Apostle James writes, If anyone does not stumble in what they say, they are perfect or mature, able to control their whole body. Here's the question.

How do you do it? That's today. Stay with me. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge is a daily discipleship ministry helping Christians live like Christians.

I'm Dave Drew. You know what's interesting? Social media gives anyone who wants one a soapbox these days. So as we continue our series on social restoration, what are people hearing from your soapbox?

Take an honest look. Is it helpful or hurtful? We're going to talk about the power of words and why they matter so much, and how we might be able to help you. I like how David Augsburgher, I think that's how you say his last name, said it. Here's why this is so important.

The word is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable. This is so important. Before I speak in, before I'm going to lean in, before I'm going to utter words, I'm going to go, have I listened? Have I really heard? Now, have I just figured out how to respond and what argument I have or what thoughts do I have? But, but I want to understand where you're coming from. See, social restoration, it requires of us that we lean in and we watch our words and we ask the questions. Is it true? Is it helpful?

Is it kind? Or have I truly listened? And I want to talk about what's at stake. Like, why do we have to be so careful with what we say? And James actually is going to unpack how words are so powerful that this would give us pause as we begin to engage with one another, as we begin to have dialogue with others, we might disagree with, as we post. Listen to what he says. He's going to say that words are powerful.

Now we know that already, but we need to be reminded of it. He says, we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us. We can turn a whole animal or take ships as an example. Although they're so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great bows. Here's what he's saying. He's saying our words have directional force. Your words, my words have directional force.

The same way, a bit in a horse and a rudder to a boat steers the horse. Your words have directional force, both in your life and in others life. See your words are powerful.

Some of the words that we're saying to ourselves are directing the very course of your life. I'm no good. I'm a failure. I'll just never make it.

This is impossible. It has directional force and we've all experienced it. That someone's words in our life has had directional force.

Hasn't it? Maybe it was a coach that offered encouragement. Maybe it was a mentor who spoke in or a parent that that surrounded you and the career path that you're on.

It was actually set in place by someone else's words and it has directional force, both good and for bad. I was reminded of a friend of mine who was wrestling whether he wanted to start his company or not. He's had this entrepreneurial spirit and we sat down and we had this conversation and it's like, man, what's the worst that can happen? You're a really smart, gifted guy. You start this thing.

It doesn't work. You're going to go get a new job. You're young.

Go for it. And he points back and he's go, Ryan, that conversation was the tipping point for me to start this business. See, your words, my words, they have directional force. We have to be careful because we got to recognize our words have directional force. The second thing he's going to go from bit to horses. He's going to say our words, and we know this, have destructive power.

They cannot do harm. He talks about how a little spark. See, we think of our words, you know, remember that definition of words as a communication by where the mind finds itself.

It's a communication by where the mind finds expression. Like it's just a little thing. It's just, I didn't even mean it.

It wasn't that big of a deal. And James says in the same way that a spark can move and turn a whole forest onto fire, our words can have the same impact. They actually can be so destructive. We got to be so careful because we recognize it might've just been an off comment and it can really, really create damage. I was thinking about this in my own life, and I was having breakfast with a friend and we're talking about it. And there's obviously, yeah, I mean, when you start something, there's lots of insecurities, fears, all these sorts of things, and we're talking about it. And he made this comment about my preaching and compared me to someone else. And it just cut me to the point where that conversation shaped the way I thought about my communication for years. I never felt good enough. Every time I got up to speak, I was desperately insecure, feeling like I just didn't have enough. And so then I started, instead of trying to communicate God's word, I was trying to get people to think well of me.

Literally years, one conversation. And it wasn't even something that he meant in that way, but it just pierced my heart. And we've all had that before. And unfortunately we've done that before to others. He says why we are to be so careful. Our words have directional force.

Our words have destructive power. And then he finally, he says our words are very difficult to control. And in fact, he says we can tame animals, wild animals, and we've tamed all sorts of them, but you can't tame the tongue.

Notice what he says in James chapter three, verse seven. He says all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It's a restless evil full of deadly poison.

Wow. Trying to underscore the damage. See, we don't think a whole lot about this, but the damage that can be done. See, our, our words, James would say in and of ourselves and in our own strength, it's not difficult.

It's actually impossible. We need the spirit of God to transform us, to be able to tame our tongue, not just our willpower. They're difficult to control and they're powerful. So then what do we do with them? How do we become a people that bring restoration and healing in the words that we have because they're powerful and not destruction and harm. Well, James is going to tell us first, we have to repent.

Oh boy. Use the R word. Repent for the incongruity of your words.

Notice what he says. With the tongue, we praise our Lord and father and with it, we curse human beings who've been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praises and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. We actually, the first step for you, the first step for me is we repent of our incongruity, the dissonance of where we sing songs, where we just worshiped and recognize that we yelled at our kids, where we just worshiped and we just talked about someone negatively, where we just worshiped and on Monday we just slam our boss or our coworker or a spouse or friend or roommate.

And we got to repent and own ours. See, it's easy to look at everybody else. It's easy to go like, look at what they're doing and how they're doing it. This is not the invitation for you to evaluate everybody else's language. This is the invitation for you. That's the reason I changed the pronoun. All the other ones were our and we.

I changed it to your. Because it is for you, for me, because we're going to repent. I say, God, this is not okay.

This is not right. Years ago, there was a high profile pastor that stepped out of his ministry and he was doing some things that I didn't understand. And I remember sitting around a table with friends and we're talking about it and me and another buddy who were in ministry we were so critical of his decisions. We don't know him. At that point, I had never met him.

Didn't know all the circumstances. I just spoke so negatively and authoritative in that moment. And I remember driving home from hanging out with the friends and my wife said to me, Ryan, that was not right. The way you spoke about him and you don't know and is so convicting. And I had to repent of my own brokenness where I can praise God and preach the gospel and then cut down someone who's preaching the gospel.

Friends, that should not be. And I sent a text out to the friends and apologized and I asked for forgiveness. And the humor of God was a few months later, ended up doing and speaking a conference with this person. And it was just like God going like, see, pay attention. See, we have to repent.

It begins right there. God, I'm sorry because my words, as I worship you, I cannot cut down any other human, whether I agree with them or disagree with them, like them or dislike them, they are Imago Dei, image bearers of you. And so I will not have incongruity. I will not have dissonance.

I will not praise you and curse them. And so God, would you do the work in me? So what do we do?

We repent. And then we have to go to the root and address the fruit. This is what James says. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear frigs?

Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. He's going, you got to get to the root of the issue. If you don't like the fruit, you don't adjust externally. And that's what we try to do.

We try to just put a muzzle on our lips of like, I'm going to try harder not to say this or say that. He says, no, no, no, no, go to the root. What's the root? The heart. He's actually talking about what Jesus talked about. Luke chapter six, verse 43. Jesus said, for there is no good tree, which produces bad fruits, nor on the other hand, a bad tree, which produces good fruit.

For each tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they pick up grapes from briar bushes. The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good. The evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil. Now notice this, for his mouth speaks from that which his heart is filled.

You got to go to the root. See what we do is we go, I just didn't mean it. I just didn't mean it.

It slipped out. Our words reveal what's in our heart. This is what Jesus is saying.

This is what James is talking about. And if, if our words are cutting, if our words are critical, if our words are putting down, if our words have an incongruity where we're worshiping God on one hand and we're putting down his image bearers on the other, he says, you have to do heart work. God, it's actually a heart issue. It's not a words issue.

It's a heart issue. That's why social restoration requires followers of Jesus to do the heart work, the heart work, the work of the heart, to bring about redemptive social language. See for us to be a people where our words bring healing instead of hurt. Where our words are not bringing hatred or discord or divisiveness or animosity, but where we're bringers of peace and justice and righteousness and grace, it begins in here, not out there.

See, we're wanting everything out there and we need to adjust that. And the invitation is, I'm going to repent for what the brokenness in my language and God is revealing something in my heart. And so I'm going to do the heart work. God, as David played, give me a clean heart, oh God. A prayer that I pray so often is, God, would you make me a man after your own heart? If you just study the scriptures, guard your heart above all else, for from it flows the wellspring of life. The scripture speaks immensely about your heart. God, give me an undivided heart and as I say, as you do that, what will flow out is the fruit of righteousness, the food, fruit of peace, the fruit of hope, the fruit of life. Proverbs says this, the tongue has the power of life and death. Our words are powerful.

Jesus follower, your words are powerful. And we have the opportunity wherever we're at, whether it's online or in person, to bring life. And so in this moment, where are you at?

Where do you need to be? It's not about other people and what they're saying and what they're posting. What about you? You're listening to Living on the Edge and Chip's with us to talk about the message you just heard. But in case you jumped in late, our guest teacher today was Ryan Ingram with his message, Social Language. Social restoration is complicated. Even with the best of intentions, well-meaning people get themselves into trouble. So how do we make a difference and bring light, not heat?

Well, these messages from Ryan Ingram bring a lot of clarity to that question. He looks at our current circumstances with a gospel vision of community and provides biblical solutions. For a limited time, resources for social restoration are discounted and the MP3s are always free. To order your copy or to send it to a friend, visit us online at livingontheedge.org.

For additional information, just give us a call at 888-333-6003. Well, Chip, I've got to say this series from Ryan is certainly a timely one. As you guys talked about it, I know one of the things that was important is that there's a ton of rhetoric being thrown around today, but not a lot of practical help out there. And so not only do we have these programs, but Ryan put these messages into a little booklet so people could read it on their own and then share it with others.

What else can you tell us about why you think this is an important resource right now? Dave, I've been talking with fellow believers of many ages where I live, West Coast, East Coast, middle of America, and there's a fracture in families. Before the most recent election, I had people tell me that they're not talking to their adult children, that Thanksgiving was an absolute train wreck because of the divisions that are happening inside of families. I've done a number of pastors events in the last three or four months, and I've had pastors tell me, I think sort of the blue and the red, the Democratic and Republican, just different pictures of the world, even as believers, is literally dividing their churches. And I think there's something behind that, and I think there's something more important. And where it begins and where social restoration has to begin is how we view one another, first and foremost.

We can disagree about a lot of other things, but when we prejudge, when we make assumptions, when we don't really know the people who differ from us, when we don't have conversations, nothing happens that's good. And so my son, Ryan, is a pastor of a growing church here in the Bay Area, wrote, Social Restoration. Where does it start and what must we do? I think it's a short little primer that will allow people to read and then get together and have a conversation that can begin the kind of healing and restoration that we need first in families, then in the church, and then well beyond it. Thank you.

And that's what I call a solid plan to make a difference. Well, not only is it a print copy, but we're also making this little booklet available as an e-book. Either way, you can choose a free copy when you go to our website, livingontheedge.org. Tap special offers on the app or give us a call at 888-333-6003. We'd love to get it into your hands and then have you pass it on when you're done. It's a great little conversation starter with the bonus of God honoring solutions. Request your free copy of Social Restoration at livingontheedge.org.

Special offers on the app or by calling us at 888-333-6003. I hope you'll do it today. Well, I don't know about you, but if you and I were sitting together having just listened to this message, we'd probably be having a good cup of coffee, and I would look at you and I would say, So, what do you think? And I would hope that you would be open and vulnerable and, you know, not defensive, and I would hope that I would be too.

And if you then said to Chip, So, what do you think? I would say, I am deeply convicted by this message. Not just the words, but when Ryan quoted Luke chapter 6 about the good tree produces good fruit and the bad tree produces bad fruit, and that the real evidence is that the mouth speaks from that which fills the heart.

That's what disturbs me. You know, I've gotten better and I'm more disciplined in terms of what comes out of my mouth, although when you talk as much as I do, I still stumble a lot. But to me, the deeper issue isn't just what comes out of my mouth, it's what it reveals about what's in my heart. Just, I was, you know, sort of probing a little bit and we said, Hey, let's just do an experiment.

And we both put our computer side by side or iPad side by side and we both opened our Facebook and then we scroll down and kind of what we've been posting and what pictures we put up and things that we've said, just say for the last year, and it just zoomed and we could just take it all in in one, you know, little setting. What would your Facebook post say about your heart? What would they say about God's love, His patience, His kindness, His truth? What would it say about treating everyone with dignity? What would it say about encouraging health and life and reconciliation instead of retaliation?

And what, what would it say about your heart? I know that that's hypothetical, but you know, we're living in a day where it's so common and it's just become so acceptable to say things. And it seems that when we do it on the internet, we somehow think we can say things that we would never say to a person face to face, eye to eye. And I just want to call us as believers. Can you take this the right way? Stop it.

Just stop it. There's life and death and the power of words. And as, or more importantly, your words are saying something profound about your heart.

And God has commanded you and He's commanded me to love Him with all of our heart, our soul, our mind, our strength, and yes, our neighbor as ourself. You know, sometimes the greatest discipline in the world is not to write, not to post, not to speak. In the words of my great grandmother, Jesse, who said, Chip, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Maybe we should take that to heart and maybe do it today. As we wrap up, I want to say thanks to those who make this program possible through your generous financial support. Your gifts help us create programs, purchase airtime, and develop additional resources to help Christians live like Christians. Now, if you've been blessed by the Ministry of Living on the Edge, would you consider sending a gift today? You can call us at 888-333-6003. Tap the donate button or donate online at livingontheedge.org. Your support is greatly appreciated. We'll be sure to join us again next time when we continue our series, Social Restoration. Until then, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.