Avizandam In Scots law, this term describes the careful consideration given by the judge before an important decision. Join me each week as we explore various topics from a spiritual perspective and take matters. Avise endum Well, I have a special guest for Avizandam today. A friend of mine that I've known for Many years, a colleague, in fact, but more importantly, a brother in Christ. His name is Nathaniel Pierce.
And Nathaniel, come and introduce yourself and say a little bit about your background. And you've got a special interest and function here at Calvary Church. Yes, thank you, John. I'm Nathaniel, as he said. I grew up in Kinston, Jamaica, in a single-parent household.
My mom raised three children on our own, came to know Christ as my Lord and Savior at seven years old. And so I praise God that even though I was raised in what some would call a broken family, much instability, but I came to know Christ and I have seen and watched the family of God, the church, and how that has helped to mature me. And so I have great love and premium for the family of God. Nathaniel, in the providence of God, isn't this interesting? Here you are from that home, that broken home, as you've said, in Jamaica.
And that you're here at Calvary Church in Charlotte. As the pastor of family ministries.
Someone would say you're an unlikely choice, but God uses unlikely people for his purposes.
So tell us about, give us an overview of what you do here as pastor of family ministries. I know you do much more than deal just with families as you share pastoral responsibilities, but tell us what you're doing here. Yes, thank you. Yes.
So, as a pastor or family minister, chiefly, what I seek to do with our ministry is to disciple parents, husbands, fathers, mothers, wives, grandparents, to help them to raise family for the glory and honor of God. How can a man, a husband, a father operate, live his life, or the mother, the wife, live her life for the glory of God, fulfilling their God-given purpose, even as they raise their children to know and to honor the Lord?
So, we do that through various means, whether it's through counseling with some of the issues that we see, through targeted classes that we offer for families with parents as they transition through various stages of life, helping them really parents how to parent their children in a godly manner. One of the things I've always respected you for and admired you, Nathaniel. is that you have a great love for people, and pursue them as a good shepherd. And that is particularly relevant for families because there's no perfect families. uh there's problems between husband and wife and children and all of that.
So You do a lot of counseling.
So tell us some of the common problems you see among families today in the United States. Yeah, very good very good question there. You know, one of the main problems or some of the main problems that I see an encounter really is parents who are just super busy. There's this career dad or this career mom, and they have very little time for their children.
Sometimes the dad travels away most of the week and comes home on the weekends, or the mom is working out of the house as with the dad. And so the children come home and they don't have enough time to interact with the kids. They put on the television, they give them the tablets or the phones, and they spend a lot of time there. And I'm finding more and more that these parents are not opening the word of God in their homes. They're dependent on the church to be the place where their children hear the word of God, that we are praying for them.
And we are happy to pray for the children. We're happy to disciple the children, but we want parents to know that it's primarily their responsibility before God to guide their children, to disciple their children. We come alongside them in assisting.
So I would say that's a couple of the main problems that I see. Obviously, those would just lead to various other issues in the home. But I think if parents would prioritize the word of God in the home, time in the word of God, that would help to solve a lot of the challenges that they face. Nathaniel, how would someone begin?
Someone says, Yeah, you're right. I need to prioritize that. But I've never done that. But what would be a good place For the individual to begin, they would say, well, Nathaniel's very educated, he's been to seminaries, got all of these degrees, but here I am and I'm not very conversant with Scripture. Where do I begin?
Start reading the word of God. You know, we here at Calvary, one of the things we offer each year is a Bible reading plan.
So, and it's free, can be downloaded off our website. Open the word of God. I have found, even in counseling, when a husband, a father, or a mother, a wife is not in the word himself or herself, that is to say, they seldom open the Bible for personal devotion, then it's practically difficult, if not impossible, for them then to encourage family devotions in the home, to encourage their children to be in the home.
So, we start simply by opening the word of God. God has given us his word, and we can hide God's word in our hearts so that when the trials, when the temptations come, we can draw from the word of God. But it simply starts by reading the word of God. Set aside a few minutes per day to open the scripture. Very good, Nathaniel.
Let me move to problems. One of the common problems you see. We're talking about Christian homes here. Between husband and wives. and between children, students and parents because they come They end up in your office or mine, more often in yours than mine.
And uh You have to give them counsel, and some of these are very difficult situations, but give us some idea of the most common. problems that you encounter. One very common problem has to do, unfortunately, has to do with the devices that many of us have in our hands.
Social media specifically, where parents are allowing their children to get on social media way too early. My two daughters were not allowed to go on social media until they were 18 years old. And in very recent times, John, our youngest, Hannah, has returned to say to her mom and I, thank you so much for not allowing me to get on social media. She didn't understand it then. They would complain that some of their friends are on social media, but she has returned to say thank you.
And even in the last couple of weeks, in fact, she just took a pause from social media just because she realized she was spending too much time there.
So social media is destroying a lot of marriages.
Sometimes the husbands get there and they get into conversations and spark relationships, or the wife would do the same thing. And then again, the children, they're exposed to far too much on social media, wasting too much time. They get into things they have no business getting into. And then it just spirals through the family and it's just really, really impacting.
So that's one of the key things. Almost, I would say 97 to 98% of the time when a couple comes to me for counseling, the devices and social media plays a significant role. You know, we all know of uh rebellious uh children and uh students. It's a real heartbreak. Uh to parents are kind of prodigal.
What what advice do you give, perhaps There's a 15, 16 year old young man, young woman. They refuse to go to church. They're kind of rebellious. What advice do you give to the parents? Uh obviously you pray with them, but is there anything practical you can help them with?
Yeah, certainly. Pray with them is one thing that we always start with. Pray with the children. Again, making sure that we ourselves as parents, that we are modeling. We are having conversations about why a relationship with Christ is absolutely critical and that they see us in the word.
We are discussing the challenges that they are facing.
So there's a relationship that we are building and this is growing with that child or those children.
So we're constantly with them, encouraging them, helping them to see that absolutely essential to their lives is a relationship with Jesus Christ. And unfortunately, many of us in the church understand the pain of a prodigal child. And even then, as the father in the story there in Luke, he continues to look out for that son and prays for that son. When that son took all that belonged to him and left, he continued to pray.
So we do pray, but we live, we model, we have those conversations about those situations in the world and how a relationship with Christ and going to church can be the best solution for them. Uh final um Question, Nathaniel. What advice do you give to parents and the students who are going off to college?
So here's a 17 or 18-year-old leaving town, leaving the home. and uh going to a college, whether that's secular um or a Christian college. What do you say to them and what advice do you give to the parents? Yeah, praise God that so many of your children are able to get a college education. And to some extent, they begin to Dream about it from very early in life.
Or the parents, we think a lot about where our children are going to go to school. We want to see them be successful in life and be very productive. But I would say, don't forget in that search for a college, the search for a church home. As you go, as you look at schools in various cities and states, always prioritize searching for a church. We are happy that we were able to do that with our youngest as she went off to college.
Everywhere we went to visit, we were thinking about churches and looking at churches in that area. Outside of that, here at Calvary, again, through the auspices of our family ministries, we do offer a class that helps to prepare parents for children going off to college. And so in our family transitions class, one that we offer for the high school seniors is a way that parents can come alongside and help to prepare their children.
So the conversations they need to be having as they're getting ready to go off, encouraging them to maintain their spiritual walk with Christ throughout those college years.
Well, thanks very much, Nathaniel. That was very helpful. I trust that has challenged and encouraged. parents and others. Ava.
You're listening to the weekly Avizandam podcast from The Verdict, featuring Pastor John Monroe. John is Senior Pastor at Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. Listen to John's daily program, The Verdict, on broadcast radio or major podcast platforms. For more information about the Verdict Ministry, visit us online at calvarychurch.com slash the verdict.
