Social Restoration - Phase 3: Social Language, Part 1

Communication is crazy. Even with our very best intentions, our communication is often lacking, isn't it? How can we address the issues of our day in person or online in a way that brings light, not heat, healing and not hate?

Well, that's today. Stay with me. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge features the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram, helping Christians live like Christians.

I'm Dave Druey. And in this program, we continue our series called Social Restoration. Well, I don't know about you, but growing up, one of the things that got drilled into me was that the truth mattered.

I could do a lot of things, but if I wasn't truthful or kind, I was in a boatload of trouble out of you. Well, from time to time, Chip invites his son Ryan to do the teaching. So he's asked Ryan to share his message called Social Language. He's looking at why, from God's perspective, what comes out of our mouth matters so much.

Chip will be with us after the teaching to bring some extra insight. But right now, let's join Ryan Ingram for his message from James, chapter three. Well, we're in a series called Social Restoration.

We've been wrestling with this. How do we experience social restoration in such a socially divided nation? How do we not just experience it, but how do we as followers of Jesus actually bring it about in the midst of social injustice and unrest? We began with looking at phase one, that there is a distinction or a distinctive mark of Christians, and that is this social distinction that social restoration begins when followers of Jesus embrace. There is no social distinction among followers of Jesus. There is to be no social distinction.

There is to be no favoritism played, no prejudice out working, no racism allowed among the people of God. It begins with us. We looked at phase two and social action and said social restoration demands that followers of Jesus put their faith into social action. See, we want and we're looking for the government needs to be fixed. Politicians need to, you know, change or address. And certainly that's great.

The solution, friends, is the Church of Jesus Christ rising up and acting in faith in their Savior to bring hope and justice, to say enough is enough and to be the hands and feet of Jesus to bring mercy and justice to those in need. It's when we say. We're going to live out our faith. No more mere talk, but we're going to walk the walk. We're looking at phase three, and James is then going to shift his attention to our words and then their power and look at social language. And if we look at social media, there's a lot of language going on, isn't there?

Oh, my goodness. There is a lot of language, a lot of rhetoric, a lot of emotion. And it's just like this onslaught. And James is going to say, actually, social restoration for us is when followers of Jesus. We actually have to pay careful, careful attention to our words and our language to bring about that restoration. We pick it up in James Chapter three, verse one.

If you got your Bibles, you can open it up or you can, you know, open up your app on your phone. And James begins this way. And if you remember, it's it's a people that have undergone their own like COVID moments. They've been persecuted.

They've been disenfranchised. They're they're living in a world that's been turned upside down and he's he's helping pastor them through this. And he says this is a funny way to begin. Not many of you should become teachers. Oh, and in fact, the refrain today is we need more listeners than teachers. We need to be learners, don't we? He says not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers. Why?

Now, this is interesting. Because you know that those who we who teach will be judged more strictly. That that as a teacher, we're subject to greater or stricter judgment. Actually, before God, we give account for every careless word that comes out of our mouth.

Words are many, sin is not far behind, Proverbs says. And then we have more judgment with others. In fact, I know every time I get up to speak, I am being evaluated. You know, you might sit down later and go, well, what do you think of the talk or you might be sitting thinking right now? All right.

I'm not so sure about this, Ingram. And we are under judgment and evaluation. And he says, listen, not many of you should want to be teachers or those who are speaking out because there is this greater judgment that's going to come. Now, there was this desire to be a teacher, this desire. Why? Because there is honor.

There's prestige. There was a platform. Today, so many of us have a platform that many never had even 15 years ago.

Your Instagram page, by the way, you have to embrace. You can either be a teacher or a learner. And most of us are wanting to be informers and teachers. He says, be on your guard because there is a stricter judgment for those of us that teach. By the way, every parent is a teacher for us as parents. Our role is to make sure that we shape our kids and help them understand Jesus and his ways, understand what he values and how to walk with him. You're not off the hook. You are the primary discipler of your kids.

And you can't outsource that. And where we would say we're going to be the primary informers. I've wanted to watch movies that would help open our eyes and sat with one of my sons and we watched Just Mercy. Great movie, by the way.

I highly recommend it. And my son's heart breaking over the evil and injustice. And he's like, I'm angry, dad. And I wanted to help him understand that's righteous anger.

That's actually the right kind of anger that moves us to holy action. Well, now he goes on to say, we all stumble in many ways. Anyone who's never at fault in what they say is perfect. Like if you can keep a tight rein on your tongue, if you can be careful what you say. If you never stumble in your words, he's going to say, actually, your entire life would be perfect.

Able to keep their whole body in check. And here's what he's saying. When it comes to social restoration and our language, if we're going to experience social restoration, believers in Christ, we have to watch our words. We have to be aware of our words. We have to be so careful about what we say and what we don't say, how we say it. Often communication isn't just what we say, isn't it true, but it's what was received. And we still defend things and go like, well, I didn't mean it. I do this in marriage, in my marriage, not in just any marriage, but my marriage.

You know, I'm like, well, I didn't mean it, but that's how it was received. And I got to understand communication is bridging that gap. And we're called to be careful or watch our words. And he actually says this, watch your words. Why? For they will guide, they direct your life.

Well, I know this sounds obvious or a little like, why would we ask this? But what exactly are words? What does that mean? Well, one definition that I like says words are a communication whereby the mind finds its expression. I like that definition. It's a communication whereby the mind finds its expression.

Here's the reason why. When we think about our words, we often think about them as detached, like they're not a part of us. They're this abstract thing.

And I say them and they're out there and they're the same. And what he's saying is, no, no, your words are actually a part of you. There's something that came from inside of you, out of you.

And so it cannot be detached from you. And that's why we have to watch our words, because they actually not only come from inside of us, but they direct our life. So the question is, well, how do we watch our words?

I think this is so incredibly important, friends, in this season of our history as a nation and as followers of Jesus. How do you lean in in this moment? Because we have to do this well and wisely to be those agents who bring love and grace to a hurting and broken world. So how do we watch our words? Well, before you speak, stop and think. I know it sounds like common sense, but it's not so common anymore. Before you speak, before you send that text, before you send that email, before you post on Instagram or Facebook that rant, before you make that phone call.

Stop and think. And I just want you to ask four questions. First question, is it true? Is it true? Is it accurate? You know, we live in a world today where it's like, well, I'm just speaking my truth.

I just got to get this off my chest. Let's really wrestle with is this accurate to what's going on? I want you to sit down or sit with this just for a second, because as followers of Jesus, before we speak, we actually have to do the work of really understanding what it is that we're regurgitating out to people. And what we do often is we take information and not evaluating the source of it, and we just respond out in an emotional frenzy. And you have to stop and ask, is it true? And then once we get to that, then we can go, okay, now I'm able to respond instead of just react.

We have lots of reactors in our day today, and we have to be as followers of Jesus responding wisely and well to the moment. So we ask, is it true? Well, Ingram, once I figured out it's truth, it's my truth, I'm going to say it. Well, no, no, no, hold on.

There's another question. Not only is it true, is it helpful? Is this helping the conversation? Or is this harmful? See, I can speak my truth to you, and it may be my truth, and it will not help the conversation move things forward, bring about healing or restoration or justice. It may actually incite more harm and pain.

Proverbs talks about this harsh word stirs up wrath, but a gentle word calms wrath. Like, is it helpful? And then the way I'm doing it, is it helpful?

And he says, OK, let's ask this question. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is what I'm about to say going to bring about the end result? Is it going to bring about reconciliation? Is it going to bring about justice? Is it going to bring about healing?

Is it going to bring about love and peace? And then we've got to ask, not only is it true, is it helpful, but is it kind? And you're like, Ingram, this isn't a time to be kind. Don't you know where we're living? Kindness is dead.

We've got to get to work. Well, hang on. You don't understand what kindness is. See, we've confused niceness and kindness. See, kindness doesn't mean I just say whatever is nice to you. Let me explain the difference, and I'll give you a silly illustration, if you will.

The silly illustration is this. Let's say we're out to dinner and you have a piece of food in your teeth. If I'm nice to you and I look at you, I'm not going to say anything about it. I'm going to ignore it. I'm going to let you go on your way because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or feel bad.

Oh, that's nice. But if I was kind, I go, excuse me, I'm so sorry. Hey, you got a little something here.

You got it. You got a little parsley here because I don't want you to walk around and smile and somebody else and be walking around with that on your face. See, kindness actually addresses things for the good of the other person. We have to ask the question, is it true? Is this accurate? Is it helpful? Am I adding to the conversation?

Am I am I building up? Am I helping? Is it kind? Not just like I'm being nice to you and I don't want to address something, but is it really kind to you? Is this going to be for your best?

And then finally, and this is really important. Have I truly listened? Before you speak, stop and think, have I truly listened? Have I heard?

Have I taken time before I repost or before I rant to really hear where someone's coming from and what's going on? Friends, followers of Jesus, we have to become far better listeners than question answers. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and Ryan Ingram's teaching is from his series Social Restoration. Ryan will be back with part two of his message in our next program. But Chip's here now with some thoughts about what you heard today.

Now, before he gets to that, I hope you'll take a second to go online or tap share and encourage others to join us for this series, too. Social restoration is complicated, even with the best of intentions. Well-meaning people get themselves into trouble. So how do we make a difference and bring light, not heat?

Well, these messages from Ryan Ingram bring a lot of clarity to that question. He looks at our current circumstances with a gospel vision of community and provides biblical solutions for a limited time. Resources for social restoration are discounted and the MP threes are always free to order your copy or to send it to a friend. Visit us online at livingontheedge.org.

For additional information, just give us a call at 888-333-6003. I'll be right back in just a minute to talk about some very specific application to this teaching by Pastor Ryan Ingram. But before I do, I want to just say a word to those of us who want to make a difference, who want to share some things with people that we care about, people that may even very much disagree with us. Some of those people are in our own home. We're related to them. Some of those people are in our churches and we're living in a world today where we have Christians that are at odds sociologically and theologically and with real regards to cultural issues. How do we bridge that gap? How do we come together? How do we have social restoration first in our families and then in the church so we can be that light, that healing agent that Jesus has called us to be?

I would suggest that you have to go to the root instead of look at the fruit. There's something behind the name calling and the prejudging and the putting people in categories even inside our families. And in the booklet Social Restoration, Ryan has written a primer to help each one of us ask and answer the question, what does God want to do with me and what kind of eyes do I need to look at others through in order to bring healing?

We all have this issue. And in this booklet, you're going to learn from scripture how to begin to take the kind of steps that allow you to see people differently, to see them the way God sees them, to be a bridge builder instead of a divider. You'll have a tool that you can give to someone else that you agree with or disagree with that you can read it quickly and then have a good conversation over a cup of coffee and say, you know something? This is something that we can both agree on. This is something we know God wants us as followers of Christ to follow. And you know, as we build bridges, then we experience healing.

Could I encourage you? Give us a call or go to the website. We'll give it to you absolutely free.

We want to put this in the hands of as many people as possible to begin to get to the root of the problem instead of constantly blaming one another with the fruit of the negativity that's happening in the church, in families, in society. Go to the website or give us a call. Dave, could you give them that information?

Happy to. Well, not only is it a print copy, but we're also making this little booklet available as an e-book. Either way, you can choose a free copy when you go to our website, livingontheedge.org. Tap special offers on the app or give us a call at 888-333-6003. We'd love to get it into your hands and then have you pass it on when you're done.

It's a great little conversation starter with the bonus of God-honoring solutions. Request your free copy of Social Restoration at livingontheedge.org. Special offers on the app or by calling us at 888-333-6003. I hope you'll do it today. As we wrap up today's message, I want to go over a little list that Ryan gave us that I think will help you and help me before we speak today, before we post anything on social media, in fact, even before we send out an e-mail. And let me just give you a couple reminders and let's practice this.

Let's really think about doing this today. Number one, we're going to have to interrupt ourselves on purpose. What that means is we're going to have to get into the habit of expecting that the first thing on our mind is not what we really want to say or write, okay? I mean, this is a little thing that you go into training and if you knew how many things go through my mind, and some of them I think are really right, some I think are really funny, and boy, most of them I'm glad I didn't say.

But just developing the habit where my first reaction, my first thought, I'm going to e-mail them, I'm going to say that, I'm going to post that, you push the pause button. Second, it's going to be very hard but helpful with family and friends just to slow down and consider before you post it, before you say it, or before you write it, to ask the questions that he gave us to ask. Question number one, is what I'm saying true and accurate?

And what I would add is, are you sure? Question two, is what I want to say helpful or harmful? In other words, is it really going to help someone or am I just going to stir the pot, throw gasoline on the fire, feel real good about it for about ten seconds, and then realize what have I done in about a minute later? Question number three, is what I want to say kind, is it for their best?

I mean, that is a litmus test. Is it kind? Or is it attacking? Is it sarcastic? Is it a put-down? Is it passive-aggressive? And then finally, have I truly listened? Do I actually understand what I want to respond to or am I reacting?

Here's the practice. If you will begin to pause and think before you speak and if you will maybe even list those three questions. Is it true? Is it helpful?

Is it kind? And then, have I listened? It will save you such heartache. And here's the thing, it will protect the reputation of Christ. All of us have opened our Facebook and started scrolling down and seeing things that various Christians have said that make you cringe, don't they?

And you say to yourself, boy, if I was not a Christian and that's how Christians talk or attack or speak to or about other people, I would never want to be a Christian. What I want you to know is that what comes out of your mouth has the power of life and death and we represent the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. And he says to us, guard your heart and guard your tongue. Let every word be as it were seasoned with salt that it might give grace to those who hear. Let's do this today. And thanks for doing whatever the Lord leads you to do. Well, for all of us here, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.