Stewarding Fatherhood Well with Jonathon Lewis

This episode of the Faith in Finance podcast is brought to you in part by Christian Credit Counselors. If credit card debt is weighing on your heart and you're unsure where to begin, our trusted partner, Christian Credit Counselors, is here to help. Their debt management program can help you pay off your credit card debt up to 80% faster while ensuring you honor your financial commitments in full. Take the first step toward financial freedom today. Visit ChristianCreditCounselors.org or call 800-557-1985.

For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God. 1 Thessalonians 2, 11 and 12. Hi, I'm Rob West. With Father's Day approaching, we're asking a deeper question. What kind of legacy are we leaving as men, as dads, and as stewards of what God has entrusted to us?

Jonathan Lewis from Fathers for Fathers is here to talk about that today. We're talking fatherhood, faith, and financial discipleship that shapes generations. Then on to your calls at 800-525-7000. This is Faith and Finance, biblical wisdom for your financial journey.

Well, I'm delighted to have my friend Jonathan Lewis with us today. He's president of Eastport Financial Group and the founder of Fathers for Fathers. He's a great friend. Fathers for Fathers is a faith-based organization that restores hope, healing, and purpose in the lives of men, especially fathers. Jonathan, great to have you here.

It's great to be here, Rob. We've been talking about this for a long time. Yeah, I like your studio, man. You know it. I'm glad that you're on the other end of the mic today, and I'm even more excited about our topic, especially with Father's Day just around the corner.

So I want to back up, and why don't we start by just giving you a chance to share a bit about your story and how God used that story to ultimately allow you to launch the ministry? Yeah, I mean, Revelation 12, 11 says it'll know us by the blood of the Lamb and our testimony. And so, you know, 34 years ago, if you told a 15-year-old kid when he dragged his dead dad to a beach. Beach in the North Atlantic in Nova Scotia, that God would 34 years later take that story and all the brokenness that ensued in the wake of that and turn it into such a victory story with fathers to fathers. A 15-year-old kid wouldn't have believed you and probably wouldn't have cared because I was so broken up over the loss of my dad and the guilt that I carried onto that beach that day that I had not successfully been able to save him.

And there was a lot of wreckage in the wake of those years, Rob. You know, I couch surfed, slept in my car, bounced around, somehow, by the grace of God, did not end up in some kind of an institution other than the Canadian Armed Forces. That was the institution I ended up in, and that probably saved me and taught me discipline. And fast forward to today, and all those war wounds and scars have given me a tremendous energy to go after men. And to really dig deep with them, not take a passive victim mindset answer as a brush off.

And my wife would say, Jonathan is like a hot knife through butter when it comes to broken men. And I know it's because the Holy Spirit and just the fact that I love these guys and I can see them for what they are. What does success look like, Jonathan, for dads that are listening today that they want to be successful, but it's more than that. They really want to be a faithful father.

Well, first of all, your story's not done. If you're still breathing, and for some guys, they might be questioning whether they even want to do that. I can remember a period of my life where I was so low that the pain was so deep, I thought the only way to stop the pain was to end my life. And so, for the guys listening, if you're out there and you're really struggling with, I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to be a dad, I don't even know how to get the energy to want to live my life or go to work, you can do it, but you can't do it alone. That's the hard rub here, guys.

Um, we are wired to want to withdraw and uh and try and do it on our own. 84% of men, Rob, out there would say they don't have one guy to talk to. Did you know that stat? No, that is disturbing. Yeah, um, and so you're not alone, but you need to reach out, you need to try and find guys.

And for the guys that have an element of their footing, and maybe you've grown up in the church, or maybe you have good groups that you're part of, I would encourage you to look for these guys, they're not hard to spot. And don't take the first 12 no's as a brush off. Lean in on them, they want to be pursued, they're just broken.

Well, we're going to continue to unpack this. There's a lot to talk about today. What does that faithful father role look like? What if you're carrying shame and regret? Where do you go from here?

What if you feel like you've missed your chance? And then let's press into the stewardship aspect of it. What does it look like to really? Articulate and model biblical financial stewardship, and that certainly includes financial stewardship, but it goes beyond that into how we model values and priorities and trust in God. We're talking with Jonathan Lewis today.

He's the president of Eastport Financial Group, but he's also the founder of Fathers for Fathers. If you want to learn more, just head to their website, fathersforfathers.org. Again, fathersforfers.org. We'll be back much more right around the corner as we think about Father's Day coming up on Sunday. We'll be right back.

Faith Phi is grateful for support from One Ascent. One Ascent believes that your values inspire why you invest and how they can inspire how you invest. One Ascent's goal is to provide solutions designed for every need and invest in businesses that bless the people and places God has made. They want to help investors do well by doing good to explore a new way of investing that aligns with your values. More information is available at onascent.com and by clicking Analyze My Investments.

Feeling burdened by credit card debt? As faithful stewards, we are called to manage our finances wisely. Christian Credit Counselors can help with a debt management program that allows you to pay off debt up to 80% faster while honoring your commitments with integrity. Don't let debt hold you back from the life God has planned for you. Take the first step toward peace and financial freedom today.

Visit ChristianCreditCounselors.org. That's ChristianCreditCounselors.org.

So glad to have you with us today on Faith and Finance. I'm Rob West. With me today, my friend Jonathan Lewis. He's the founder of Fathers for Fathers, a faith-based organization that restores hope, healing, and purpose in the lives of men, especially fathers. And Jonathan, with Father's Day right around the corner, obviously this is something on the minds and the hearts of a lot of our listeners.

And you mentioned something before the break. You said many men carry silent shame or regret as it relates to their role as fathers. How do you encourage dads who feel like they've failed or maybe they've missed their chance?

Well, the funny thing is, is I always remind them that their story's not over. In our immersive study we're working on, especially for our American audience, football is always a good analogy. And we basically say to guys, hey, the day you were born, you were born onto a football field. And you can't get off the field, you can't leave the game, you got to play. And the question is: which team are you going to play for?

And the terrible rub is you're born playing for the other team, the wrong team. Let's call it the red and black team. But there's this invitation to come over and play for the winning team. And I think often guys suffer from passivity and victimhood, and we just get caught in our own internal dialogue where we beat ourselves down and we start rehearsing our failures. And it's amazing how we can spend all our time in our own depreciation room, literally beating ourselves up instead of actually recognizing a lot of God-given strengths that God's given us.

And so it's never too late to peel off the jersey and say, I want to play for the other team. It does require contrition, Rob. It requires acknowledging that you've made some mistakes, and it requires a substitute.

Someone has to be willing to put on that jersey for you. And thankfully, Jesus Christ already said, I already did that. You just got to accept the offer. And so the challenge is to get in the game and get in the game on the right side of the field. And often that involves starting small, taking that next step.

You talk about restoring purpose and responsibility. What's a small step a father can take today who's hearing you talk and saying, I want that to live more intentionally. All right.

Well, I'm going to pick on the guys that fit my profile.

So I'm a divorced dad. In the US alone, there's 24 million men who are not in their kids' lives. And it is painful. I've talked to Thousands of men who are not actively engaged in their kids' lives. And you know what the common theme is, Rob?

They want to be. They don't want to be an absent dad. And they will start telling you all the reasons why they can't be there, or they've messed up, or there's just no way. And what I can say emphatically, and I have faced this: God will honor you when you honor Him. And the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to Timothy.

He said, You're less than a believer who doesn't provide for your own family.

So, for example, there's some hard truths here. If you're a dad who's not in your kids' lives, but you also haven't been supporting their mom, start. Yeah. Right? Own it.

If you are a man who has battled with some sin in your life and you've kept it secret, don't do it anymore. Find a guy who's a mentor, who loves you, and get clear and confess that sin to him. It's hard. It's hard because here's the problem, and this is why you don't want to do it. Because then you have to do something after that.

And it's called be accountable and change.

So you have to want to. Get in the fight, get in the game, but we can't keep going like this. Um You know, if you look at the downstream of all the issues that are going on in our society, you could pretty much trace them all back to the pandemic, and I call it a pandemic of fatherlessness. And so, guys, my plea, this whole ministry is about encouraging you, not beating you up, but encouraging you to get the gloves on and get in the game. And if you're out, get back in, right?

Brush yourself off. My dad, when I was growing up, he used to say, You're fine, rub some dirt in it, which we all know is a way to stop the bleeding. There's a bit of truth there. You're fine, rub some dirt in it. But get yourself around guys that are spiritually mature and they'll encourage you.

But you got to be willing to be accountable. Yeah, boy, that's so good. Let's combine this with your day job. I mentioned at the outset of the program that you are the president of Eastport Financial Group.

So you counsel families and trusted with much to hold it loosely and to see that as a part of their role as a steward of God's resources, to give it generously, to invest it strategically. Combine that with this. Role of being intentional as a dad. What does that look like to really model financial stewardship in your legacy? Yeah, I mean, to me, stewardship is all one in the same.

So, whether you're being generous with money and not generous with love or generous with your spirit, generous with your time, then you're missing the point. And so, you know, people always hear me talk about Ephesians 5:26. Paul's imploring men and women to be mutually submitted to each other. And You know, he says to the men, love your wives as Christ loved the church, being prepared to present her on the day of judgment. And guys will always say, Oh, yeah, well, no, I love my wife.

And if there was a proverbial bullet, I would take it for her. It's like, no, that's not what he's talking about, though. Jesus died for the church, he wants you to die to your flesh.

So, if you really want to be a man of God who's going to steward everything he's entrusted you with, well, it starts with your wife first, right? Or the mother of your children. But one way or the other, you got to steward that. And the way you steward is dying to your flesh. I talked to a bunch of guys in a men's retreat last weekend about the appreciation room and the depreciation room of our wives.

Board up the depreciation room, write the list down, light it on fire, and you should only be spending time in the appreciation room for that woman. And then from there, the stewardship trickles down. You know, make sure you're managing your finances well for your family. Make sure you're living up to the expectations. Go to work, right?

Paul said, work is good. I had to say it, but the Apostle Paul said, if you don't work, you don't eat. I actually agree with. That like, so it's about stepping up and stewarding everything God's entrusted us with. That's so good.

I'd love for you, we're about out of time here today, but I'd love for you to pray for the dads that are listening right now on the radio.

Some of them discouraged.

Some feel like they have failed. Others feel like they're getting it done, but there's more. And I'd love for you just to pray a blessing over them as we prepare for Father's Day this weekend. Thanks, man. Heavenly Father, um There's always some guy out there that this is meant for.

He probably doesn't, maybe he doesn't listen to this channel and he's just tuned into it or whatever. And here he finds himself with some crazy guy from northeastern Canada praying for him right now. And Lord, I just pray that your Holy Spirit, through me, would touch his heart. I pray that you would challenge him in what you would like to see him do, how he would step up. Only he knows that right now, Lord.

Whether it's in the area of fatherhood or his finances, or I don't know, Lord, he could be having wandering eyes and you're convicting him right now. I pray that he would really cry out to you. And I know you'll meet him. You say that. I pray Romans 8 over the men listening to this.

The very end of that chapter, Paul says, What can separate us from you, Lord? And he goes on to say, Nothing. Nothing can separate us. And so, Lord, draw these men in. Let them know that even their sin.

Does not separate them from your love. And I pray that they would just bring that in and they would recognize that Jesus Christ was sent by you on the greatest rescue mission of all time. And what's scandalous, Lord, is you would have sent Jesus if it was just one guy. That's scandalous grace, Lord, and I thank you that you sent him for all of us. Amen.

Amen. Jonathan, grateful for you. Happy Father's Day, my friend. Thank you. That's Jonathan Lewis.

He's with Fathers for Fathers. If you want to learn more, head to their website, fathersforfathers.org. Again, that's fathersforfathers.org. A lot of resources there that you can take advantage of. I hope you'll heed that counsel and be encouraged today as we prepare for Father's Day just a couple of days down the road.

A quick break and back with your questions after this: 800-525-7000. I'm Rob West, and this is Faith and Finance. We'll be right back. Imagine having biblical financial wisdom delivered to your inbox every week, helping you integrate your faith and financial decisions for the glory of God. At faithfy.com, you can join a community of over 70,000 people who are already receiving our weekly wisdom email, filled with articles, videos, podcasts, and exclusive offers on resources that will deepen your understanding of biblical stewardship.

Start your journey today by creating your FaithFi account at faithfi.com. Just click sign up. We are grateful for support from Eventide Investments on the Faith and Finance program. Eventide's approach to values-based investing is grounded in the belief that humankind was created in the image of God, with intrinsic dignity, value, and worth. Eventide calls this investing that makes the world rejoice.

More information is available at EventideInvestments.com. That's EventideInvestments.com. Great to have you with us today on Faith and Finance. We've got some lines open today. We're taking your calls and questions.

The number 800-525-7000, it's 800-525-7000. You can call right now to Indiana. Hi, Sharon. How can I help? Oh well, I have a question, of course.

Um if you put a parent in to a nursing home, Do they pay the first month and then you pick it up after that? Or does Medicare pay any of that? Hmm. Yeah. So Medicare covers skilled nursing care, I believe, for up to 100 days per benefit period, but only if it's medically necessary.

So that would be like after a hospital stay for rehab, not long-term custodial care. That would, you know, be something different.

So I think, you know, Medicaid, not Medicare, is, you know, has assets and an income limit eligibility. And so you do need to understand that. But ultimately, you know, that the first 30 or first hundred days would be where the skilled nursing care is covered. And also, I know that Medicare would limit what you could spend and they kind of monitor your bank accounts and assets. Uh can the children Get any money after that if you have to put them in permanently, or is all that money froze that they?

have invested their Yeah, so are you talking about the person in the nursing home giving gifts to the children or coming the other direction? We can gift to the children. Yeah, so the Medicaid does have what's called a five-year look back, and so they would count those gifts as assets.

So it could delay Medicaid eligibility if they were making gifts to the kids because those would be considered assets of the Medicaid recipient and would be factored into those asset limits.

Okay, but as far as They haven't done that, but if they put them in the nursing home, then all of them would be. Prose so that the kids couldn't take any of them the money out of the assets at all. I know the government gets their share, which I agree it should be that way, but But the kids would not be able to have any of the assets, correct? That's right. Yeah, I mean, I think at the end of the day, you need to get some counsel from an elder care attorney.

I'm not an attorney, but just generally speaking, that is correct. Medicaid does have what's called a clawback, and so they have the ability to recover assets that they've paid out through Medicaid. But the kids, unless they're on the account and have some legal title to the assets, would not be able to get the assets unless they were receiving them as a part of an estate distribution after death.

Okay, thank you for your information. All right, Sharon. God bless you. Thanks for being on the program today. We appreciate it.

To Chattanooga, hi, Linda. How can I help you? Hi, thank you for taking my call. I was calling. I'm currently still working, scheduled to retire within the next couple of years, I guess.

And so I am my employer has an actual person that manages our retirement plan. But I was trying to find out how I could invest in things that line up more with my faith and make sure I'm not supporting something that I don't want to be supporting. Yeah, it's a great question.

So do you have an advisor that you work with right now? Or are you currently making investment decisions on your own? No, I have one I'm working with, and that's why I was asking.

So, because I was thinking about planning a meet, sit down and talk with them, and I was wondering.

Well, what's the look for? Very good.

So it's a great question. And there's a wonderful opportunity, Linda, that didn't even exist three or four or five years ago, where there are now world-class award-winning investment options, both what are called, and I don't want to get too technical, but exchange-traded funds, mutual funds, even advisors that manage stock and bond portfolios. All of those are available with a faith-based approach where they would screen out companies that are misaligned with your values as a believer and even look for companies that are going to generate compelling value for shareholders, but also that are promoting human flourishing.

So there's two ways you can go. If you have an existing advisor that you're working with, you're happy with that relationship, great. What you may want to do is download a free PDF that's a listing of all of those faith-based investing fund families. And you could take that into your advisor and say, hey, I would really like to invest in a way that's aligned with my values. Will you check these out?

And where you would get that is on the website faithandinvesting.com/slash faithvi. That's faithandinvesting.com forward slash faith fi, faithfi. And you could download that free PDF and take it in. That's from our friends at the Center for Faith and Investing. The other approach is you could find a certified kingdom advisor who offers faith-based investing if you wanted to make a change.

And you would do that on our website, faithfy.com. Click find a professional. And as you answer the questions, you'll be able to say, only show me CKs that offer faith-based investing. I think one of those two will get you pointed in the right direction. Thanks for your call.

Let's finish out the broadcast today in Florida. Aaron, you'll be our final caller. Go ahead, sir. Hey, I was just trying to get some clarification on a fixed indexed annuity. Good or bad?

What are your thoughts on those? Yeah, it's a great question.

And, you know, these are basically when you talk about a fixed indexed annuity, this is always an insurance product, and you turn over a fixed sum of money in exchange for, in the case of the indexed annuity, we're talking about something that's tied to ultimately a market indexed. And, you know, I think what you have to decide is: are you looking, you know, what are you ultimately looking for in this investment? The reason people often buy an indexed annuity is because they're willing to pay for that downside protection. The only problem with it, Aaron, is that you've got to give something up to get that downside protection. And what you're giving up is the full upside.

And when you look at where we drive those average annual returns, Returns, let's say on the SP 500, you know, over the last 50 years, it comes in large part due to those significant up years, you know, where the market was up like the last couple of years, 20 plus percent.

Well, when you take those out because you're going to have a cap on the upside in this fixed indexed annuity, you don't get that. And so, from my view, I'd rather as a default not use an insurance product, even though I'm giving up the downside protection, I'm willing to take the downside because I want the full upside. But if at the end of the day, that gives you greater peace of mind to know that you have the downside protection, you're willing to take some of the trade-offs like the upside cap and the lack of liquidity, meaning you can't get fully to your money, or the complexity and the cost of the annuity, they do have a place. They're just not my first choice for that reason. Does that make sense?

Yes, absolutely. I'm not familiar with it, so I just wanted some clarification, but that helps tremendously. Totally understand. Thanks for your call today. Lord bless you, my friend.

Well, that's going to do it for us. Big thanks to my team today, everybody here at Faith Phi making this possible: Devin Patrick, Sandy Dickinson, and Jim Henry. We'll see you next time. Have a great weekend. Come back and join us on Monday.

Bye-bye. Faith in Finance is provided by FaithFy and listeners like you.